could have read this earlier.
my yahoo group. It's not that big of a hassle and yahoo isn't that
next day at school, the only word that could possibly describe what I
felt to the nearest decimal was—well—there was actually
no word. I'd drank and not really thought that there was actually
school the next day. However it was a good night. I'd relaxed, gotten
time to think, and caught up with Jeremy, whom I really liked. The
weather had been perfect, the air cool but not cold, and the sand had
been utterly beautiful.
soon as I walked into class on Monday, Josh took one look at me,
specifically the dark circles under my eyes, and asked, “What
the hell happened to you?”
word,” I sighed, leaning against the desk behind me,
looked visibly surprised. “You went to a party, Kyle? Why
wasn't I invited?”
weren't invited because no one likes you.” I stuck my tongue
out at him, thus ruining the effect.
right. I get invited to everything; everyone loves me. You
up. So yeah, I did go to a party and get drunk. I don't exactly have
anything against going to them, sometimes I'm just tired or too lazy.
Last night I really needed to get away and Nathan mentioned that we
should go.” As I said these words, my mind flashed to Ryan.
Ryan who was just aggravating; who was charismatic; who was an ass—a
royal one at that.
took a seat and sighed deeply, resting my head against the desk
briefly before raising it again.
devil himself chose that moment to appear and walk in that way of his
into the classroom. Except, never had the devil been portrayed blond
and green eyed and so gorgeous. My eyes glimpsed him as he walked up
the rows to his desk on the other side of Josh. My mind faltered for
a minute, and I had to take a deep breath.
did you need to get away from anyway?”Josh asked.
shrugged, “A lot of crap has been going on lately.”
you want to tell me about?” Josh said and nodded at Ryan
briefly before turning back to me.
I just wasn't feeling too good so I went to the party. No big deal.”
I wanted Ryan to hear, to know that I didn't care at all about him.
Yeah, petty of me. I looked at him and the glare I met was at least
better then getting no response. I returned it and sat down.
could sense the tension, “So...what's up with you two. Just the
other day you were best friends, don't tell me that didn't last
longer than a couple of days?”
shrugged; Ryan gave no response.
then...I'm taking that as a yes.” Josh said.
guys,” Nathan said, taking a seat beside me. He walked in just
in time for the rescue and looked at me with a sheepish grin. “It
was a fun night yesterday.” He said.
was quite an awkward class. There was Ryan and I in the same room,
sitting two meters away from each other. If that wasn't weird enough,
Nathan had to be there. The only person who balanced us out was Josh.
it was really fun.” I agreed, “It was nice to get away
for a while.”
who was that kid you were with? I don't think I've seen him around
before—at least with you.”
actually remember? You were out of your mind,” I said with a
at that time I was a bit less out of it. So who was he?”
name is Jeremy Sutherland and he's a pretty cool guy. I don't really
know him too well, but he seems okay.”
he good looking? I can't seem to remember anything beyond some fuzzy
visuals and just voices.” Nathan didn't even bother lowering
his voice. He knew Ryan and Josh knew we were gay. I wonder if he
knew Josh didn't
that Ryan and I had done some...things.
yeah he's a really good looking guy.” I admitted.
frowned a bit, “And is he gay?”
I didn't know where he was going with this, “Well, he's
so he's hot, and
likes guys. Perfect for you.”
I barely know the guy.”
you aren't interested in him?” Nathan asked, grinning.
haven't really thought about it, but I guess not,” I replied,
fiddling with a pencil. We were suppose to be working, but who ever
really listens to the teacher?
that makes sense since you've never mentioned him before.”
well I barely know him. I met him a while ago and I've only spoken to
him a handful of times. However, I really think he's a cool guy and
want to get to know him better.”
cool. I want to meet him sometime.” Nathan said.
we can all hang out together sometime.”
I really want to see a movie this week.” Nathan declared.
I said, “I might go today,” but Nathan wasn't really
listening, he too was glaring at Ryan at that moment. Maybe I'd call
Jeremy and ask him to go see a movie with me.
grinned at him, then glanced over at Ryan. He was surprisingly
looking right at me at that moment and our eyes met before we both
looked away. Josh just gave me a funny look before asking me if
Laura, Nathan, and I wanted to go out for lunch with him. I was
supposedly the representative for our little group and so replied
with a mock-formal yes.
invite you Ryan, but I have a feeling that wouldn't go too well with
as if I want to eat lunch with Kyle,” Ryan replied in a very
snide voice, and extremely immaturely.
was going to say it wouldn't go too well with Kyle or you, but we've
established that already.” Josh said with a mock-salute.
rest of that school day was pretty uneventful. By lunch, I was in a
much better mood and no longer felt as bad. Laura, Josh, Nathan and I
went out to eat for lunch. It was the first time in a while that all
four of us were eating together.
the last few weeks it had been mainly the three of us without Josh.
Josh had been spending more time with his other friends this year.
Laura and I didn't take it to heart though. We'd known each other for
a while and petty things like that didn't distance us. When we got
together, we just continued from where we'd left off and it was as if
there had been no lapse in between. I suppose this was a sign of a
long lasting friendship, one that could withstand distance and
continue to remain as strong in the future.
I don't know how you guys eat this stuff,” Laura gestured
towards our unhealthy food. I myself had ordered fries, since I too
don't really enjoy fast food very much. Nathan and Josh were both
having some new form of extra-large seeming burgers the joint came
out with every year. Laura was eating her own lunch from home, where
she herself had created it. It was perfectly healthy, and well like
on, Laura, just relax. It's food, it's unhealthy, and you know you
want a bite.” Nathan said.
as if. I do not
to eat that...ever.”
smell that—it's the smell of...fast food. Unhealthy, delicious
and wonderfully fattening.” Josh added.
and just gross. You know I heard that the ice in...places like
these...is dirtier then toilet water.” Laura added.
the hell did you hear that?” Nathan demanded. “That's
don't exactly remember, but it's just one of those things that sticks
in your head.”
we don't believe you.” Josh said.
I kind of heard that somewhere too.” I said.
Nathan joked. “You're on our side.”
Kyle agrees with me. He counts as two people, therefore I win.”
rolled his eyes, “Yes, you win, because this was so a
competition,” he thought for a fraction of a second, “You
know what, I'm the only person here who is attracted to the opposite
was random,” Nathan said.
Josh for you. Besides being very random he's
weird...dumb...unintelligent.” Laura added.
was redundant; dumb and unintelligent. Ha, not so dumb now am I?”
you admit you're normally dumb but you just weren't dumb during that
cell-phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out. Their little
banter only increased and my brain just blocked them out. I'd just
received a text from Jeremy.
Wanna go to the movies 2night?
sent him a text message back immediately with a positive response. A
few moments later:
pick u up at ur house @ 7.
that from Jeremy?” Nathan asked. He was peering over at my
would you assume that?”
dunno, you just have this sheepish looking grin on your face.”
huh? I bet you read that word somewhere and have never used it till
now.” I laughed.
up.” Nathan scowled. My side-tracking had accomplished its job
however, because Nathan forgot about Jeremy. Laura and Josh were
discussing something or the other that Nathan obviously wasn't
interested in. I could tell because Nathan chose that moment to talk
with me without scowling. “So you want to hang out later? My
love to but I have plans.” I said.
that can't be changed?” Those wide eyes were so big and bright,
and that puppy dog look on his face would have sent another person to
their knees. I was made of tougher stuff and that ploy of Nathan's
could not get to me. I tried to envision a night out with Jeremy and
Nathan. Jeremy would probably be totally cool, but Nathan had already
taken a severe disliking to Jeremy at the mere mention of him. At
least from the impression I'd received.
I said honestly.
winced, “Honestly, I tried to imagine how that would work out,
but it wouldn't be the best idea.”
back to fucking Ryan?” Nathan exclaimed.
looked over at Josh to make sure he didn't hear, “Shh...be
careful.” I said. I have no idea why he'd just assume that.
should I? Who cares about that bastard and whether or not Josh
seriously what's wrong? You've been acting...real...bitchy lately.”
Me? You know what...just go talk to Ryan why don't you?” Nathan
winced, realizing what that must have sounded like, “Sorry...I
guess I am being...bitchy. I just really don't like Ryan, and I
really don't want you to...consort with him anymore.”
okay. Just to let you know, Ryan and I are not—fucking—and
will not being attempting it any time soon. I do not
to do anything with him ever again. However, if there is ever a
chance that I do, nothing you or Laura can say will stop me. It
seriously annoys me when you guys say things like, 'Kyle you should
be careful', or 'Kyle don't let yourself get hurt'. Now, today I have
plans with Jeremy, not Ryan. You were right when you guessed the text
was from Jeremy. We're going to go see a movie.”
sounds like fun...” Nathan seemed to be at a loss for words all
of a sudden. A part of me was glad.
about you and I do something tomorrow?” I asked politely
for sure though.” Nathan remained subdued.
tell me something.” I said, breaking the silence.
well...oh yeah...” And then Nathan's face came alive again as
he realized he had something important to tell me.
Jeremy picked me up that evening, ten minutes after seven, I felt
alive. The sky was a cloudy gray that was darkening to night, the air
was fresh, and everything just looked new. I'd changed into a pair of
dark jeans. They looked really good on me since the fit was just
right, not too tight, not too baggy, and perfect across the ass.
Along with my jeans, I'd thrown on a casual t-shirt that added the
right touch to the look.
looks hot.” Jeremy said appreciatively as I walked up. He'd
gotten out and was leaning against the side of his car.
too bad yourself,” I said, and I wasn't lying. Jeremy had this
brooding look about him. He had a charm, an appeal that was beyond
his good looks. His dark brown hair had been recently treated to a
cut and looked healthy and fingers-running-through worthy. Despite
being a year younger, he looked very fit and had an amazing body. His
body wasn't as magnificent as Ryan's, but then again, he had a
completely different appeal. Jeremy was tall, and had amazing legs
and wide shoulders. That I had to give him as I eyed those jean-clad
right.” He smiled.
know if you hadn't asked to go see a movie with me, I was planning on
I guess it's true then, great minds think alike,” he grinned in
that adorable way of his again. It was devilish, brooding, and
charming at the same time. What a lethal combination! No wonder he
had both guys and girls all over him!
was his eyes that did you in though. Those beautiful, other-worldly,
and often ethereal eyes. They were a sparkling silver, not a dull and
cloudy gray, but a glittering silver. It was those eyes that held
pain, that held a story waiting to be heard. A story that was most
often overshadowed by the charm he put on.
though, a look fell across his face. I'd noticed this the couple of
times I'd been around him. Dark and melancholy, it was worth asking
about. He would become quiet and thoughtful, and it was a total
change. I could picture him, a lone soul standing against a brick
was nice to people, he was friendly, but I realized then that he was
actually naturally quiet. He had many friends from what I could tell.
A lot of people enjoyed his company and wanted to be around him. I
wonder if there was anyone he really wanted to be around or really
call his friend.
you smile, your eyes smile too. I like that.” I told him.
I'm glad. You make me smile because you're such a cheese ball.”
the cheese ball? You're the one telling me I make you smile.” I
pointed out teasingly.
because you're a cheese ball.”
laughed, “Please refrain from using that word again.”
Jeremy, Jeremy, why do I get the feeling that you enjoy annoying me?”
it's true. I like you, Kyle, I like you a lot.”
let's not go there,” I joked.
not. I want to be your friend.”
Seems to me like everyone wants to be Jeremy's best friend, but
Jeremy doesn't want to be everyone's best friend.”
you already know what I'm really like.”
that you have an aura that attracts attention but you don't really
want it? That you're charming and charismatic but you like to be by
yourself? That you don't like opening up to people or discussing
let's really stop there.”
too leaned against the car, “Jeremy,” I murmured, “You
smile, but your eyes hold so much pain.”
well I've been through a lot.”
get that idea.”
really easy to talk to you know?” Jeremy said.
yeah, I get it from my mom.” I didn't mention that she was a
psychologist. That was another conversation for another time.
mean, sometimes I'll laugh and smile and talk a lot, but I really
just want to be by myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty social. I
like sex, I enjoy parties, drugs, alcohol, pretty much anything
shitty out there, I've done it.” Jeremy paused, deep in
thought, wondering. Then he went on, “Then I'll just be silent
and not talkative and I'll just want to be alone, I won't even want
to be fake anymore. Even when I talk and laugh, it's never about me,
I never say anything about me. Even though I don't talk very much
most of the time, people like to be around me.”
have that thing.” I said.
thing, huh?” His eyes crinkled and I knew he was smiling once
that thing.” I repeated.
know you have a thing too Kyle.”
I have a thing?” I looked down.
you make me smile, genuinely. Like I don't have to try to smile,
you'll just make one escape. I don't want to be fake around you, even
though we barely know each other. Like I actually talked about
myself, even if it was only a little bit.”
know what, Sutherland?”
is it, Moore?” Jeremy replied in like.
think we're going to be good friends.”
think we're already halfway there.” Jeremy said.
we are not halfway to the movie theatre.” I said. “So get
in the damn car and buckle that seat belt.”
then,” Jeremy grinned.
both got in and Jeremy headed in the direction of the mall. On the
way there, I stared out the window at the familiar buildings, both
new and old. When you see something everyday, or close to it, your
mind doesn't really register it anymore. You don't really notice the
details or even spare a thought to it anymore. I'd lived here my
whole life and just couldn't wait to get away. It wasn't that I
didn't like it, I liked it a lot. It was just that I wanted to
experience living somewhere else, get to see some new things. It's
probably a natural feeling, this wanting to get away and broaden your
horizons. Most people wanted to do something of the sort.
wanted to go somewhere new and meet new people. People who would make
me forget the likes of Ryan Melbourne. In this place, it was nearly
impossible to go by without running into him. We had many classes
together and were even linked by Josh. He just made me really really
angry. Oh well, it's not like we were promised to each other or
anything like people were in the nineteenth century and earlier.. We
didn't have a relationship, we'd had an agreement. Even though things
had taken a turn for the better, with us becoming friends, fate had
intervened and the cut hadn't been as clean as planned.
literally seethed at the sight of the other, even though the reason
for the big problem was dying down and cooling off, the anger for the
other person made us continue to act in such a way.
how are things with the guy?” Jeremy asked, almost as if he
could read my mind.
groaned, “Please don't mention him.”
any worse than before. I mean, I hate him, he hates me. We don't
speak and if we do it's like we're tearing each other apart.”
him. If he's such an ass, just move on.”
not about moving on. We never had a relationship that I can even move
on from. It's just that I genuinely began liking him as a person.
He's not so bad, it's just he puts on this false front.”
doing that now?”
he's just angry, but yeah he's back to being that cold-hearted Ryan.
Even though I hate him for it, I know what's behind that and I hate
that things ended that way.”
he wants to be your friend again, he'll come to you. Just do things
at your own pace, Kyle. If you want to say something to him then do
it. If you want to leave things the way they are then do that.
However, I think you should let him approach you.”
liked how he was telling me his opinion but yet not telling me to do
just that. He was telling me what he thought, but then saying that I
should do what I thought was right. “That might as well be
never, because I don't think Ryan Melbourne is going to back down
it's his problem.”
Jeremy.” I said.
problem. I really want to meet this guy sometime, see what he's
don't you come to the school dance? You'll get a chance to meet
Laura, Nathan and Josh too. You'll like them. You'll probably get to
see Ryan's new girlfriend as well.”
really don't do dances, especially school ones.” Jeremy said.
cool?” I joked.
it's just not my thing.”
same, but I'm going this time, so you should come.”
see,” Jeremy replied. He had just pulled up into the mall
parking lot. “Now, let's focus on the movie. What do you want
'Kung fu Panda' seems funny.”
'Kung fu Panda' it is.” Jeremy agreed.
about 'The Happening'?”
to one.” An eyebrow rose and his pink lips curved into a smile.
I was being sort of annoying today.
got out, bought our tickets and I then waited with Jeremy while he
bought us popcorn. There was a lot of junk food and I was kind of in
the mood for some.
want a drink?”
and some licorice too.” I gave him a few bills.
got it,” he said, raising an eyebrow, “licorice huh?”
I'm not feeling too good. I need candy.”
being a whiny brat, and you were feeling perfectly fine a few moments
whatever.” I said. Jeremy was just a nice person and it was fun
to annoy him. Somehow, he didn't really get annoyed by me though.
else?” The cashier asked, a bemused expression on her face.
I began, seeing a pack of skittles.
that's all,” Jeremy interrupted, dragging me by the elbow,
while somehow passing me my things. I just shut up and put my straw
in my mouth, sighing as the fresh taste hit the back of my throat. We
were walking towards the entrance to the theatre, but were stopped.
Kyle!” Someone called from behind me.
turned, and saw a blonde haired girl standing there, waving slightly.
“Oh, hey Ashley.” She was in my business class and was a
really nice girl. She was really pretty too.
She said politely to Jeremy, who just nodded back. Not much for words
around very many people I could tell. “It's nice seeing you
here, what are gonna see?”
we're seeing 'The Happening', what about you?”
same with us,” She said smiling. Us?
you are! Over here!” She waved to someone on the other side.
“He's coming. Yeah so we were just going to hang out at my
place but then all of a sudden, he was just like, let's see a movie.
I was like, why not?”
are you here with?”
silly.” She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the
world. “He's getting us popcorn.”
It was true.
looked up just as the blond god walked right up and stood beside
Ashley, popcorn in hand. Did he have to be so fucking hot? He looked
perfect, immaculate and very unapproachable to me. His eyes traveled
to Jeremy, back to me, then back to Jeremy. Then he smirked, and I
fumed. He didn't say one word, not a single word. He just took a hold
of Ashley's hand and drew her away. Ashley simply waved goodbye.
was she doing here with him anyway? Well they were obviously on a
date, but wasn't he dating Brandi?
that's the girlfriend? I guess I don't have to wait to see her
not the one I was talking to you about. That was a girl named Brandi,
this is Ashley.”
girls in just a couple of days?”“
did you know that was
don't know how I knew, just from both of your subtle ignoring of each
other,” Jeremy said sarcastically.”
you just said,” I told him, then went on as if nothing else had
been said. “I don't know why I'm surprised. I mean, it's Ryan
after all. He probably broke up with Brandi. They didn't even go out
for a week,”
he's two timing them.”
gave him a look, “I don't think so, that's not like Ryan.”
thought he was the scum of the frog pond.”
had me there, so I just zipped my mouth. More like, I just shoved my
straw in my mouth. When we entered and were looking around for the
best seats, Jeremy led me towards the middle.
sit near lover boy and Ashley.” Jeremy said.
I'll save you the trouble of being overly curious and wanting to know
what they're up to from far. You can do it near them.”
He dragged me to a seat and forced to to sit down. He silenced me by
putting my straw in my mouth as if I was a baby.
that's better.” Jeremy said.
but I think I can manage.”
have to admit, I was curious about them and this was the perfect spot
to be able to watch them. They were sitting in front, off to the
right a bit, and were at a perfect angle for me to see them clearly.
Ashley already had her cheek against Ryan's strong, hard, lovely
shoulder. She leaned her head up for a second whispering something
into Ryan's ear. Ryan only smiled. I wonder what she said to him
because just then he began looking around. Soon his eyes were trained
looked away immediately. This wasn't exactly the time to hold his
gaze and be proud. I'd already lost my dignity when he caught me
staring at him from across the god-damned movie theater! I refrained
from looking in their direction again. Well, I stole peeks but never
gazed full on.
the movie was interesting and it was exciting, my eyes would wander
every once in a while. It was pretty good. People were randomly
killing themselves with no explanation. I really enjoyed it when the
construction workers just suddenly began walking off the edge of the
building. By the middle of the movie, I found out that the suicides
were a result of a natural phenomena. Many of the scenes were
extremely explicit and detailed. Jeremy would look at me and make a
face when something gross like a man getting crushed by a lawn mower
came on the screen.
one of these scenes, I would just subtly glance over at Ashley to see
if she was doing the whole clichéd thing of being grossed out
and grabbing on to Ryan. Indeed she was. In fact, after the first
time she cuddled close and grabbed on to him, she never backed away
again. For some reason my perception of her as a wonderfully nice
person dropped. I couldn't explain it. It's not like she was doing
anything to me. I just couldn't help but begin to dislike her.
shoved popcorn in my mouth.
chuckled, “It's okay, Kyle. From what I can see, he doesn't
seem to be all over her like she's all over him.”
don't care.” I huffed. “Just watch.”
sighed. “I have no idea why though. It's not like...I like him
just shook his head. I ignored him.
turned out that that the suicides resulting from the effect of toxins
was the first sign of the Earth rejecting humans. Like most M. Knight
Shyamalan movies, the end was questionable and left me with a weird
feeling. However, it was nothing compared to 'The Sixth Sense.”
we were exiting, I stopped myself from looking around for Ryan and
stared straight ahead. Turns out Ryan and Ashley had left before us
and were standing right in front of me. I just looked away, grabbed
on to Jeremy's arm, and began leading him towards the exit.
Kyle. Nice meeting you Jeremy!.” Ashley called out, white teeth
flashing and eyes sparkling. She was too damned perfect. Her and Ryan
briefly looked back to wave and then turned back again. One foot in
front of the other, Jeremy and I walked out.
movie, huh?” Jeremy asked me in the car.
it was. I expected it to be more though.”
thought it was really good. I don't know why critics are bashing it
so much. It's like a quiet, soft story about the possible end of
humanity. It could have been better, but I liked it for what it was.”
Sutherland, you are a poet.”
scoffed. “I am not. I've never written a poem in my life.”
don't have to write rhyming poetry to be a poet, what I meant was
that you have a lyrical soul. You speak and it comes from your
heart...when you actually do speak.”
never say anything I don't believe in.”
pulled up into my driveway. “I believe that, and that is very
admirable.” I said, looking at him.
grinned. “Let's not talk about me, tell me about you and Ryan.”
I don't want to talk about Ryan.”
I think I'm pretty sure Jeremy,” I said, rolling my eyes.
this is why I want to be your friend.” Jeremy laughed.
and he can laugh.”
will,” I said, and got out of the car in one smooth move. The
window was rolled down completely so I leaned my head in. “Want
to give me a good night kiss?” I was only half kidding.
I'd rather pluck my pubes.”
He smiled, leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips. It was just a
peck, but It was good.
was nice.” I told him, leaning in again.
but you're taken, and we're supposed to be friends.”
am not taken,” I thought real hard, a feeling that I couldn't
describe filling my chest. This feeling of just wanting to burst.
“Like you said before, maybe in another lifetime.” I told
Until then goodbye.”
kiss. This time it was soft and sweet and just a little bit wet. I
backed away after.
laughed, “You douche, you're coming to my school dance. No
waiting till the next life.”
smiled, “I wonder when you'll realize it yourself, Kyle,”
he said evasively.
what's bursting to come out of you.”
mean?” I looked down at my cock. “I'm not exactly hard
and bursting to come.”
burst into full-fledged laughter. “See ya, Kyle.”
stood there, long after he'd disappeared down the road, thinking
about his words, relating them to this feeling inside of me. This
annoying feeling. My chest was constricting and I felt like—I
don't know—running and just running and just breathing fresh
wouldn't go away, this feeling.
what did you think?
too sure about this one for some reason.
it bore you? Did you like it?