Well, it's done. I'm not too sure how I feel about it but this is where it ends. My first entirely complete long-story! I hope that despite any problems, you've been entertained by this story and I thank every one of you who's taken the time to read it. Whether you read it on yahoo, Nifty, or later gayauthors. I especially want to thank those of you who took the time to let me know what you thought because that really motivated me in continuing to write. Some of you, I know, will be sad to see it end, but everything must.
Do enjoy this last chapter. And if you don't, that's alright too.
To those nifty readers who first read this story and responded so enthusiastically, I'm sorry to say I don't know if I'll be posting on Nifty anymore (who knows?). But if you want to read my works in the future you can always check out my yahoo group or even gayauthors. I've enjoyed hearing from you all. You've truly been the best!
I felt my cheeks turn a shade of red I wasn't particularly keen on. I also felt like my jaw might pop but raised my face to Ryan's half-smiling one and allowed my hands to tentatively reach out and settle on his arm. My sense of slight delirium and nostalgia evaporated.
"Are you just going to hold me close like this forever, Ryan Melbourne?" I asked softly.
Ryan grinned and leaned in real close to me. His lips rested just above mine in a teasing way that I wasn't used to. Hard, quick, fast, passionate, sexy, that's how it was with us normally. Ryan's eyes dropped to my—now parted—lips. "Let me catch my breath, at least, Kyle. One second you're turning around and walking away and now here you are. I like you here." Ryan grinned mischievously while he spoke. He leaned back in again. His frustration and sense of unease seemed to have dissipated as well.
I smiled slightly. "I, uh, like being here too." I felt like I turning around and running away for a second because it felt so odd facing what I had felt wouldn't be mine for so long.
Ryan's smile faded. "We've had a lot of rough times." He murmured. I felt his hands slide up my back and felt like purring—much like a content feline to my embarrassment. Ryan grinned at me in a way that let me know he was aware of how I felt.
"Yes, we have. I like to think we've come out of one of those much talked about teen rough patches." I said.
"As better people?" Ryan raised a brow.
I shrugged. "As smarter people maybe—more mature. Maybe my brain works better, because I do not get why we've been so blind so long."
Ryan frowned. "I don't want you to think that I was, well, worried about what people thought. That isn't why I tried to force myself away from you, Kyle. Like I said, you go through some things and find out who you are along the way. That's more or less my story."
"This is kind of weird." I said honestly.
Ryan grinned. "What, this?" He leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. I leaned in and returned it.
I laughed after but I felt disconcerted by it. "Well, yeah, what is this now...what...are we?"
Ryan looked thoughtful for a second. Then he smiled and said, "I told you, I'm in love with you."
It still felt like a dream to hear that. I felt a stupid smile break out on my face. I hadn't appreciated the sentiment before because of the tumult of emotions swirling through my overactive brain. "I heard that." I replied. It felt a little strange still. I don't know why I was expecting everything to suddenly fall into place all because three words were spoken.
Ryan grinned. "Well, it's still new so we'll get used to it." He paused and looked at me assuredly, then continued with, "You're mine." The first statement had me nodding, the second made my eyes pop out of my skull.
"I'm yours?" I gaped. Not many people had the gall to make such a statement.
Ryan shrugged and allowed me to step away. I felt like smiling at his reluctance. I sat down in his chair and stared at him. He stood there with his bare chest glowing gently in the light of the room.
"Kyle, I've been a bit easygoing lately because I didn't think this would work out, but you can't tell me you love me and then expect me to let you go. I really--," Ryan was a bit embarrassed at this point, "--really, like you, Kyle."
I grinned. "I think we established that. You love me, remember?"
"That doesn't mean I have to like you." Ryan pointed out. He sat back on his bed. I stared at him earnestly, not bothering to hide the emotions I knew flashed on my face. It made me a little uncomfortable but I was getting the hang of it. I didn't have to hide anything anymore.
"Don't give me that crap." I said. "You can't love a person you don't like." Then I stopped, because that got me thinking...
Ryan grinned because he saw my face and knew what I was thinking. "But, Kyle, you managed it!" He said, grinned wickedly.
I frowned and said, "Shut up."
Ryan didn't however. "I'm your boyfriend; can't you be a little nice to me?" Ryan laughed at his statement in apparent glee. "I like the sound of that."
I did too, but I wasn't going to admit it. Ryan was going to have to work a little bit. I pretended to sulk. "I don't recall anyone asking me out on a date of any sort."
Ryan froze, scratched his head. "You're right! Okay, so even though all the confusion between us isn't my fault entirely, I'll accept that." Ryan got to his feet and crossed the room. He held out his hand as soon as he stood directly before me. "Kyle, will you go out on a date with me?"
I stared at it. "Yes." I answered.
His hand was still outstretched. "For God's sake take my hand, Kyle; I was trying to be a little romantic." Ryan said gruffly.
I took his outstretched hand and stood up. He leaned in to kiss me but I turned my head. "You can't kiss on the first date, much less before it."
"I've done a lot more than that, Kyle." Ryan said impatiently. "Now, it's been a rough night emotionally for me. Can't I get a little comfort?"
How could he sound angry, endearing, and sweet at the same time? I smiled and leaned up to kiss him. His lips immediately caught mine in a sensual kiss, sweet as honey. His tongue made the first foray into my mouth and I graciously accepted. I let my hands cup his face this time, let my feelings pour into the kiss just because I could. Just because I had the freedom to do so.
Ryan rested his forehead against mine and leaned away. "Dear God, you sure you don't want to have sex?" He joked.
"Hell yes, I want to." I replied, wanting to do nothing better than get my hands in his pants and have him inside me so I knew for a fact that he wasn't going anywhere, that he was really here and mine. "But we shouldn't."
Then I kissed him fiercely. Ryan gripped my hair and tilted my hair back, gorging himself on my lips. "Why shouldn't we?"
"I don't know." I tugged on his bottom lip; let my hands foray across his smooth silky chest. I let my fingers pull at his nipples. I leaned down and took one into my mouth. Ryan groaned. I reached back up and tasted his lips again. I wanted to push Ryan back on the bed and have my way with him.
It had been so long since I'd let myself go emotionally—fully—and experienced something. So much tension eased off my shoulders that I leaned away from him and just laughed whole-heartedly. Ryan grinned and kissed my cheek while I did so.
Then he smiled at me. "What's so funny?"
"I'm happy." I said, laughing. "Can you believe it?"
I let my hands trail into his boxers and I took out his large erection. My hand fisted around it and I gave it one good stroke. Ryan gasped and wasn't able to reply. I leaned down and opened my mouth to take the head in, but looked up at him before I did so. "You're mine too." And then the heat in Ryan's eyes really combusted because I had my lips around him and I was sucking him in to the base.
He didn't let me finish him off. He pressed his hands against my shoulders and pushed me away minutes later. Looking intently into my face, he said, "You said we shouldn't. Do you have a good reason not to?"
I thought about it. Starting over fresh, from the beginning, had seemed like a good idea before. Now it seemed needless when we could just enjoy the moment. "No, screw it."
Ryan's eyes lit up. "Then get off me. It's my turn."
My eyes widened and I backed up. "Huh?"
Ryan grinned. He stood up and pushed me back gently on to the bed. He got in with me, lay on his side and looked down at me. His hands unbuckled my jeans and one hand grasped my cock while my jeans lay around my thighs. The other hand pushed up my shirt. His eyes looked intently into my face while his hand stroked my cock. He leaned down and sucked a nipple ravenously, smacking his lips, before he leaned up and gave me an open mouthed kiss. I returned it easily but my thoughts were trained elsewhere: on his moving hands.
He got up off his side, took off my jeans, boxers and t-shirt and then he stared at my cock for a second before he looked up, flashed me a grin, leaned back down and took the head of it in his mouth. I bucked and buried it in his mouth. He took a little time getting used to it, but was soon licking and sucking so well I had to bite my hand to hold back the noise.
"You like that?" He asked me. "I'm doing alright?"
I nodded fiercely. "I'd say better than alright, Ryan." The word ended off on a groan as Ryan lowered his head and took the entire length into his mouth. Then he proceeded to demonstrate how easily he could drive me crazy because he worshipped my body, neglecting my raging hard-on temporarily. He leaned up and let me taste myself on his lips, letting me suck on his tongue.
After, he kissed and licked his way over my body, paying particular attention to my nipples, before he took my cock in his mouth again. By this time I was so on edge that I came immediately. He swallowed dedicatedly and then let me taste myself on his tongue again. I got the idea that it turned him on a lot.
"That was good." He murmured against my lips.
"Fuck me." I said, because I was too embarrassed to ask him to make love to me, to let me experience—no, share—that level of intimacy. We'd get there eventually. I was sure of it.
"Sure?" He kissed my shoulder.
"Positive." I replied, still out of breath but feeling myself hardening again.
"I want to face you." He admitted."While I'm inside you."
"Okay, me too," I replied. He caught my eye. We stared for a few seconds, unmoving, before the moment passed and he smiled. I returned it.
He had lubricant and minutes later had a finger inside me, stroking easily, in and out. I watched him while he did this, when I could force my eyes open. He added a second finger and receded slowly before letting his fingers slide back in quickly and burying them entirely. After quite some time of this, I was groaning quietly and ready for him to penetrate me.
He seemed to understand this because he aligned himself against my lubricated hole and began to slide inside. I welcomed the burn and closed my eyes, reaching out to hold the back of his thighs and urge him to slide in more. Ryan slid all the way inside and we both stopped. Ryan's jaw was tight. He leaned down while I leaned up and our lips met hungrily.
"I love you." I murmured, needing to say it.
"I love you, Kyle, but I have to say I really have to fuck you right now. You're killing me." He groaned and slammed into me.
I gasped and moaned. "I can feel that. "
Ryan chuckled while he receded again. The friction was delicious. "God, you are mine completely." He slammed back in. I tightened my grip on his thighs and held my noise back.
He proceeded to drive me slowly insane, talking to me the entire time while he drove into me at an agonizingly slow pace until I was clawing at him to give it to me. He released his fervor and then drove into me, catching my lips while he did so, until we were gasping into each other's mouths and ready to go over the edge. Ryan was with me every step of the way and rather than seeking desperately to grasp a part of each other—something, some piece, like we normally did—we fell into bliss collectively and came down from it collectively as well, every step of the way.
Afterwards, his forehead rested against mine. I tasted the salt of his skin with my tongue and caught my breath slowly. Every frustration, every bit of silly anger and fight, every piece of stupidity we'd experienced seemed to melt away as we came down from one big ignition. Because in the end, it seemed like no matter what we'd done, we'd done it to each other. We'd been horrible to each other and perhaps because of this, we deserved to be together.
I said this to Ryan as he held me against him and he was thoughtful. "Perhaps," He said. "But we haven't been very good about how we've let this affect those around us. Take Ashlynn in my case, and also my other friends who were affected. Then there's you with Jeremy and Nathan, and John and every god damned gay boy in the area."
I punched his shoulder. "Not every gay boy. Okay, fine a lot of them." I frowned. "Jeremy?"
Ryan sighed. "Oh, Kyle, how does anyone stand you when you are so utterly clueless about people's reaction to you? I feel like knocking you over the head sometimes."
"Some boyfriend you are," I muttered.
Ryan rubbed my back. I snuggled into his chest and closed my eyes. "This is slightly surreal."
"And not so strange anymore?" He asked jokingly.
"I don't know about that." I laughed. "It's just having sex that makes it easier to be all...affectionate."
"I beg to differ. I'm pretty affectionate."
"Well that's one of us. But, seriously, what's this about Jeremy?" I asked, trying to bring the topic back to the forefront.
"He's completely, utterly, entirely crazy about you." Ryan said somewhat grudgingly. I laughed.
"No, you're kidding. Jeremy is in love with someone. He can hardly get over the guy. He hasn't actually mentioned his name but he let it slip he was male." I said.
"Why don't you ask him his name next time? Actually, don't do that." He added on second thought.
"Oh, get over it. Would it help you if you knew I've been so crazy about you that most of my friends have thought I might be going insane? You don't need to worry about Jeremy, believe me." I said honestly. Sex does have a way of loosening one up...
"Crazy about me, huh?" Ryan grinned and bit my shoulder.
I yelped because it genuinely hurt. "Don't flatter yourself. I tried very hard not to be."
"Well, are you still crazy about me?" Ryan asked half-jokingly.
"You wish!" I said and got out of the bed, taking Ryan's moment of pause as a way of pushing myself up.
"Where are you going?" Ryan frowned.
"Home. Thank God my parents are psychotically liberal. My Mom probably left me food out to eat and everything." I rolled my eyes.
"Do you have to go?" Ryan asked.
I paused after I pulled my shirt over my head and grinned. "You're crazy about me."
Ryan scowled. "As if!"
"Who was all worried about `losing me' just a few hours ago?" I crossed my arms.
"Shut up, Moore, you can't give me that. I know you're `crazy about me'. Besides, don't make fun of earlier. It was important. I don't like it." Ryan's smile was contagious.
I got on the bed with my clothes an all and crawled over to him. I straddled him and bent myself closer. Ryan gripped my hips and I knew he was getting turned on all over again. I kissed him passionately, letting my tongue slowly mimic what he'd been doing to me with another part of his anatomy earlier. Soon enough, he was gripping my hips tightly and trying to rub his hard erection against me.
I pulled off, breathing heavily. "Well, now I'm sorry I started that. I really have to go."
"Who's going to drive you?" His hands trailed up my chest. I loved how that felt.
I rolled my eyes but leaned into the touch. "You are. Remember, you're crazy about me."
Ryan sighed and removed his hands. "You can't get away with this all the time, you know? Just because you're all..."
I widened my eyes comically. "All, what?"
Ryan frowned. "All, I dunno, big-eyed and...well...cute like that."
I chuckled and got off him. "It's okay, I love you."
Ryan smiled now. He reached out and grabbed my hand, swinging it. "Yeah, you do."
We looked at each other in a way that said it all. Ryan's green eyes, instead of causing me to look away lest he should discover my feelings, allowed me to gaze into them and instead convey the very feeling I'd been planning on discarding. How could I discard something like this? How had I even failed to see it before? I had learned many things; only one of them was that sometimes you really have to look deeper than the surface of something. Blind emotions that shut you off to anyone but yourself don't get a person anywhere. I vowed that I would try to see things with a clearer mind from then on.
Peace, Calm, rightness. Three words that described a moment gained after such a long period of animosity, confusion and heartache, so profoundly well.
</end story> J
By Skylights...email@example.com if you want to say anything.