Date: Sun, 18 May 2003 09:55:16 -0700 (PDT) From: afterglow Subject: stay chapter 12 Stay Chapter 12 by afterglow Disclaimer: This is not wonderland. This is serious stuff. So if you feel that the tootsie fairy just whacked your butt in here, please read something else. This contains love/sexual desires between teenagers. Any similarities to certain persons are purely coincidental. And unless this kind of material offends you're crude mind, I suggest you sit back, relax and enjoy wonderland. *** Okay, in the past few installments, I told you there were two chapters left for stay. I am truly sorry for this. A lot of people had been emailing me if the last chapter was the ending. And to clear the confusion, here's my official response. I'll be posting several more after this until I finish writing Stay. I'll notify you when will be the ending but as to now, I just want you to enjoy the flow of the story. And I won't make promises this time. Let's just see where Edo will lead us all. Thanks again to esteban for being such a wonderful bro and to Kano for being my idol in my life. *** Ever wonder how it feels like to jump over an airplane? Over 10,000 feet above the ground with winds matching 100km/h. That bit of rush every time you step on that last solid surface. And the moment you release yourself from the clutches of fear, the winds come, cradling you to heaven. Well of course there are some who view it as a death wish, combining air, phobia and stupidity breaking your bones, splattering your insides and your last supper gorge once you hit the x-mark on the ground. I for one have dreamt of that. Well, not for me. But for the girl standing in front of me. Kate. The minute she opened her mouth, it's like... urgh! I suspect the girl doesn't even breathe. And look at her... she's, she's... flatulent. Flatulent? See? See, what's she's doing to me? I don't even know what flatulent means for crying out loud! Jealous? No! Not a bit. I mean why would I be? I bet she's not even Jarrod's girlfriend. Just some long lost sister who was directly exported from China to Australia. I bet. And even though the way Jarrod's arm is flopped loosely around her or the way Jarrod kissed her in front of me, that wouldn't be so much as a sign that she is his girlfriend. Ha! ".... join us?" Once she finished that sentence, I swear I heard the Adam's family theme song in my head. I begin to stammer as to what the hell she was talking about all this time, "Ah... um..." But I knew the last one was a question so I just nodded at her. She went ecstatic. Jarrod said, "Good! We'll just drop this off to my house and then we'll show Kate around town." Around town? Oh, no. Oh shit. I still have to find Pat. Shit. But as soon as I formulated my response, they grabbed their stuff and went off leaving me there dumb folded. *** "Edo?" asked the voice on the other line. "Yeah Trent it's me, is Jed there?" "Hey! Why haven't you called? Where are you?" I sighed in frustration, "Well I'm stuck. Jarrod invited this girl Kate around town and I couldn't turn them down and... I'll just give you the details later okay? I just need to talk to Jed right now." "Jarrod has a girlfriend? I thought he's..." I cut him off. "Trent!" "Okay! Okay! The last time I saw him he said he was going to Pat's house to check if she's there. Since then I haven't seen him." "Alright then. Tell Jed to call me back as soon as possible, okay? And can you phone in grams, I promised to call her this morning." "Okay." "And Trent..." "Yeah?" "He's straight." I hung up. Urgh! All this worrying about Pat and running around the town center just exhausts me. I've been the third wheel, following Jarrod and Kate run around like two horny raptors during mating season. Okay, okay maybe I am a little bit jealous. Maybe she is Jarrod's girlfriend. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe Jarrod really loves her. I don't know. But what I do know is I've never seen Jarrod happier in my entire life. The way she looks at him and the way he looks at her. Just pure fire. And then Jed came in to my mind once more. Ah, Jed. The Jed of my life. Now, that brought a smile to my face. Have you ever been in love that you almost think you're crazy cause you're always thinking about that person? Yes? Ah, well I guess we are all amateurs then. Lost in fairytales. "I guess we should go home," Jarrod proposed. "I'm beat," Kate answered. Yes! I thought this two wouldn't stop. Jed was now holding dozens of bags in his arms care off the shopping center while Kate, unimaginably climb Jarrod's back. Yup, this two are officially in love. "Hey Edo, we can drop you off to your house," Jarrod motioned me as I went inside his car. Then I drifted off to sleep inside the back seat. Or at least I thought. I still heard Kate's giggles, calling Jarrod different baby names. Then I remembered. Pat! Shit! I still have to find her. But where? I mean Jed could have at least found her by now. And it's not like she'll kill herself. Would she? Shit! Now I really got to find her. But where? God! What if... no! No! She's strong. She can make it. I just have to think. If I were Pat where would I go? Argh! This isn't working! Then, as I opened my eyes, I saw a bright sparkle of light. Okay, maybe not that kind of light, where an angel comes down and asks you "hell or heaven?" but the kind that flashes almost 24 hours daily, yes the neon light. "Shit!" I screamed. Both Jarrod and Kate spun around, as Jarrod suddenly hit the breaks. "Why? What's wrong?" Jarrod asked. "I... I just remembered something. Uh, Jarrod you can drop me off here. You guys go ahead without me." "What? I'm not leaving you here!" he protested. "Look, I can handle myself okay? I'm a big boy now," I joked but Jarrod's face grew angrier. "Edo! It's late. And we're in freakin' nowhere. I ain't gonna drop you off and that's final!" I sighed. Does he have to be angry like this? Seeing his eyes burn me down, I quickly reached for the door and got out. "Edo come back here!" Jarrod yelled. "You know what?! I'm sick and tired of you telling me what to do. I'm already exhausted running around town and having a 'good time', perhaps some flip fops around here and there, but hell I ain't gonna be leashed around like a single blob in order for you to have a 'good time', I'm already full of that shit." I don't know what came over me but as soon as I heard myself let those words out, I knew Jarrod would be furious, "And Kate, nice to meet you," I said. "If we're gonna do this your way again Edo, then fine!" Jarrod turned on the engine. "Fine!" I yelled back as I closed the door behind me. And he went off. Like hell. *** As I entered the bar where Ms. Jane celebrated her party, I knew Pat was there. I scanned the room for Pat. From the looks of it only a few people are around. There were three on the billiards table, four sited alongside the bartender and then at the far table I saw her. As I started to pace in her direction, I noticed she had been drinking for a while. Four bottles of beer stand out on her table while her hair slumped around like some drug addict. "Hey," I said as I feigned a smile, "Don't you know you're the only girl around here?" She slowly raised her head and annoyance crept in her face, "Oh it's the bastard." "Look, Pat we've all been worried hell about you," Then I grabbed her hand, "Come on." She quickly withdrew it, "Don't touch me!" "Pat..." I sighed, my heart beating fast, "What's wrong?" And as soon as I released those words from my lips, Pat berated me with all the cussing words in the dictionary. "What's wrong?! You come here and tell me what's wrong?! Ha! You make me laugh," her hands flying over the air pointing me the finger, "You know what's wrong? You made Jed gay! That is what's wrong!" I gasped. I made Jed gay? "That's... That's not true Pat, and you know it!" "Oh really, then why do I always see you staring at him longer every time he shows up? Why do I always catch you near Jed every time he's around? So then tell me Edo, the time I told you how I felt for the guy, have you had any feelings for him then?" I was shocked. This isn't Pat. The Pat that I knew was understanding and caring and... And then I heard myself say, "Yes." "Ha! So with the fact that you have even the slightest interest in him, and the fact that you're gay plus all the 'candid' moments when you're with Jed, you could then solve the equation. You turned the love of my life into a faggot! I maybe blonde Edo but I ain't dumb." By then all of the people around the bar were eyeing on us. "Pat I didn't...." she cut me off. "Oh save it Edo! You just lost yourself a friend. I don't want to see you again so it might be useful if you turn yourself invisible," She awkwardly stood up, "Do me a favor," then swaying a little, "Go back to that geeky Edo again it suits you more." I tried to grab her but she only yelled, "Don't you ever touch me again." She was now outside calling for a cab and I was furiously following her. Then as a taxi pulled off, she turned to me and shoved me the finger. *** "What?!" I screamed. That night I got home late. And even though I was dead tired and feeling a little outraged, I still found a way to calm myself when grams started lecturing me in my room. I just told her the parts of the story, about finding Pat and running around town with Jarrod and Kate. She said she was worried sick of me. Finally making a promise that I wouldn't pull a stunt like that again, she left my room. Ah, God I'm exhausted. Again, frustration hit me the moment I heard the loud noise from the phone beside my bed. I've been through hell this day and I swear if that phone rings again, I'll rip those cords off. "What?! Is this a joke?" I screamed again as the person on the other line was quite startled. "Um, I'm sorry Edo. I guess I should call you another time." "Wait!" I then realized that voice, "Jed?" "Uh, yeah." I smiled. It's Jed, can you hear him? Wow, just to hear his voice was enough to sulk me into dreamland once again. "Hello?" "Oh, sorry. Hey, um... uh... I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's not just my day I guess." "Well tell me about it, I got a rough day too." "So... um... why did you call?" "Pat," he said bluntly, "She came over. I asked her where she's been and all she did was hug me. She said everything's going to be fine. That she's okay with me being gay, that it wasn't my fault. I guess I was going to believe her then but when I asked her if she saw you Edo, she blacked out on me and left. Did something happen between you two?" "To tell you the truth Jed, I found her at a bar, drinking. I so badly want to help her but she won't let me and then she took off." "Well, did she say anything?" "Well... um, we talked and um, Jed it's really quite personal. I hope you understand." "I don't Edo," he said getting a little frustrated too, "It's not because I don't trust you but because" then crying as I heard small sobs from the other line, "I can't help thinking that's it's... it's..." he choked on words. "What Jed, tell me" I soothed him. "It's because I'm gay. I think she hates me now." "Jed, don't say that. Pat... Pat loves you. More than you could ever imagine. She's just confused. But she wouldn't hate you. Never." I guess I was choking now. "Are you saying that Pat likes me?" "Yes Jed, more than life," I sighed. "Shit! I knew it all along but... I keep on denying it. I guess that's why she looks at me differently and always flirt around me. Shit! How can I be so stupid. How can I ruin our friendship Edo? I'm just... argh! Idiot." I smiled when he said that. "Jed... you are not an idiot okay? We're young. We're seventeen. We're bound to make mistakes. There are times that we're gonna fight and there are times that we are gonna fall. We'll end up hurting each other just because we don't want to say the right words or dress the right clothes so as not to hurt the other person around. And as much as how enigmatic our future may seem, the only true thing we could offer ourselves is friendship." "And Jed," I began to sob, "Promise me something..." "What?" "That no matter what, you won't leave her. She needs you now more than ever." "I promise." *** The past days were pure hell. Even though it seems like I have so much time in my hands, I was working double time. I guess I've lost track of my studies with all time I've spent hanging around Jed and Pat. But I guess they won't hang around me anymore. Pat's been avoiding me ever since. Every time I would walk to her and try to talk, she just shrugs me off. And I guess the other time, I really pushed her limits. I was walking through the cafeteria when I saw Pat and Jed. I was planning to approach the two but I guess Pat saw me. And that's when I saw fury in her eyes. She had that overwhelming sense of retribution against me. Cause without any hesitation, she held out her hands and kissed Jed on the lips while turning to me to see my reaction. I knew Pat. I understand her. She thinks I'll take Jed away. She thinks I'm the bad guy. I don't blame her for that. I guess I've felt that jealousy crept through me when I saw Jarrod with Kate. I just wish that sometime she'll come back and be that old Pat again. I guess I'm really stupid huh? Asking the love of my life, Jed to be with Pat. I guess I don't mind. Right now, Pat needs him and if that means giving up my overwhelming selfish desire to be with Jed, then so be it. But today, today is my day. Okay, so I thought it was. I've never really dressed this classy before but as Pat puts it, fashion is your soul. This time I gelled my hair so that it would come out spiky. I checked out myself in the mirror a couple of more times. Damn! I look er... stupid. Yeah, yeah I know, you've been bugging me about the red shirt but blue is my favorite, okay? Jed said it brings out my eyes, which is rather eccentric because I don't have blue eyes. Hmmm... Okay, I never thought walking to school was this long. And if you think that the sun was shinning so brightly like smiling to me. Well, you're wrong. The sun did smile on me but then there was a sudden lightning that appeared through the clouds. And just like that, it rained. Hard. I came to school all wet and cranky with my hair all messed up. But... yes there is a but. I wouldn't let that stupid day wore me. Because? Yes, you guessed it. Because it's my day. And nobody is gonna ruin my day. "Mr. Goth, should I even bother asking you why you are late for class?" I turned around and saw the most angelic face I have ever seen. Okay, okay I'm just kidding. "Uh..." I then pointed at my self and the rain outside but he cut me off. "Oh save it. I'll record this as your third late this year. Now come with me and let's find you some clothes." Did I just said angelic? Oh, I meant fiendish. And now that I thought of it, he actually looks like that wicked professor from Harry Potter. After that I spent the past few hours in class wearing only gym shorts and shirt. Argh! And yes, people made fun of me, I just glared at them. Well not that I'm not used to being made fun of. When I was little, I used to be the object of every bully's affection. But as you grow older and people become meaner, you have to learn to fight. But after all of these, I'm still happy. Because you know why? Yes because it's my day. Good boy. When I got to the cafeteria, I quickly spotted Trish. She motioned me over. Okay seemingly you've got the hots for this girl, you listen to her. Why? Why you ask? Well because it's on of her 'intimate sessions' with Trent. The one where boy meets girl, girl likes boy, girl kisses boy.... Okay, I'll stop. I see you're not interested in details as I am. But you know what, if it's any consolation, she said she wanted to meet that guy who had a crush on her. See, I knew I could light your day too. So my life went beyond the boring level again. The usual here and there. And even ms. Jane's lessons where as plain and unenthusiastic. Argh! But after all of these. I lift my head up high, because... IT'S MY FUCKING DAY! I went home that day, feeling like an ass. I saw grams letter and it said 'tea party, be home at eight'. Great. Even grams. How could this day be any horrible. For the past hours, I've been sitting on the couch watching some stupid game show on my FUCKING DAY! God this feels awful. I sighed as I begin to feel loneliness inside of me. I thought, maybe ten or twenty years from now, I'll be on an apartment still single with only a dog to feed. Wow, that would sounds like the life of... the grinch. And then I recalled something. I quickly grabbed the phone and dialed his number. "Goth and Peterson law firm," I heard the woman greet me. "Yes, um is Daniel Goth there? This is his son." "Oh, he's not in right now. He got an emergency call from a client in Boston. He'll be gone until tomorrow morning. Do you have any message for him?" "No, I guess I'll just wait for him then. Thanks." "Bye." she hung up. I sighed. Okay, nothing is really going my way. Argh! Feeling disappointed, I put the phone back. Then I was startled when the doorbell rang. Huh? Who could be coming this late? I quickly took a peak and noticed it was Jarrod wearing an overcoat. Oh shit. "Hi," he greeted me. I was exuberant, "Hey!" "I'm... I'm really sorry about what happened in the car Edo." he was slowly fidgeting his hands. "Well it's about time," I joked but noticed his nervousness. I then grabbed his shaking hand and said, "Look you don't have to apologize for anything. It's just silly how we both fight like cat and dog sometimes." "Yeah," he laughed. He then took out a small wrapped box out of his pocket and handed it to me, "this is for you." A few moments ago, a few hours ago, I was swearing to jump off an airplane and never tell anyone. But when I saw that box, well everything went blurry, as tears started to form my eyes. God, why does Jarrod always does the right things? Sometimes, I swear he's like my other half. I smiled at him and said in shock, "You remembered," then letting out a small chuckle, "You're the only one who remembered." Then with that goofy smile he said, "Happy Birthday Edo." "Thanks," I said as hugged him. When I was little, I used to hug him all the time. You know hug like brothers. I guess we were both 'touchy' persons. There was warmth in Jed's hugs that I couldn't understand. Grams would always admire our closeness but whenever mom sees us like this, she would instantly break us apart. But I didn't want to so I held on longer. She would then threaten me to get a spanking but I held on longer. Soon grams would just talk to my mom, leaving me and Jarrod grinning like idiots. But right now, I wasn't grinning. Minutes have passed and Jarrod still clung to me. My breathing became hard. What's he doing? I felt Jarrod's hand explore my back. And his face fell to my side. I could almost feel his poking out of my body. God, this isn't happening! "Jarrod..." I whispered but he didn't bulge. "Jarrod," I repeated, this time louder. Then gently, moving back with his hands still on my waist, he looked at me straight in the eyes. I guess it was then that I felt my heart beat jump once again for Jarrod. He had those watery eyes too that just blends to his beauty. But you know what strikes me the most is that there were fire in them. Like the ones she had for Kate. Oh shit! Kate! She's with Jarrod! Oh my god. But then as I was about to protest, Jarrod read my mind and with one hand holding my face, he kissed me. I don't know how or what or why but the moment those lips touched mine my head began spinning. I felt the warmth of sweet strawberry filling all that was in me. God! His hands were now roaming my back as he hungrily moved forward. I was in ecstasy. And then as I closed my eyes, Jed appeared. I imagined him kissing me while his tongue reached for mine. I imagined Jed exploring my body, feeling everything that I have. But as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Jed. I thought I was only dreaming, but when I looked closer, I recognized that same red hair. Shit! Then Jarrod saw my panic as he turned on my direction. There. Jed with all tears rolling down his beautiful face, with a gift wrapped around his hand. I surprised myself as I make out those words, "Jed I... I... can explain everything..." He choked, barely making out a breath, "Uh... You... you... don't have to Edo. It's all my fault. I... I.. was stupid enough to think that a boy like you could ever fall in love with a guy like me," then feigning a laugh, "Um... I... like I said, stupid me," slapping himself, "I... I hope... you two become happy...." he strangled himself with every word, "Here. I brought you a gift..." he then dropped the gift and ran away from my house. I looked at Jarrod who was furiously crying. "Edo... I'm really sorry I ruined everything. I... just can't... I'm sorry," Jarrod too ran away from me on the opposite direction. I breathed. I closed my eyes thinking that it was all a joke. That at some point, the lights would lit up and a bunch of people would appear on the bushes yelling, Surprise! But it didn't happen. And the longer I stayed on the porch, the more I realized it wasn't just a lame joke. It was a reality that I knew long ago, I should have made a choice. But I didn't. And now it came all back, haunting me. As I looked down, with blurry eyes, I read the card in Jed's gift. Happy Birthday Edo. *** Hey, you like it? I guess this is an opening door to the ending of Stay. I'm sorry if I disappointed any of you but I think this would fit Edo perfectly in choosing who would he truly be with. And for those of you who are going to flay me alive now because of the consistent cliffhangers, well sorry but I guess learn from the best. Thanks Sarah!