Date: Mon, 21 Apr 2003 10:13:42 -0700 (PDT) From: afterglow Subject: stay chapter 8 Stay Chapter 8 by afterglow Disclaimer: This is not wonderland. This is serious stuff. So if you feel that the tootsie fairy just whacked your butt in here, please read something else. This contains love/sexual desires between teenagers. Any similarities to certain persons are purely coincidental. And unless this kind of material offends you're crude mind, I suggest you sit back, relax and enjoy wonderland. *** Oops, I guess this part took too long. Yeah, I know I promised you all that I'll post this one soon. So again, sorry! Anyway, you'll find that this installment is much longer. I wanted to finish this story so bad that I kind of put everything on it. So here it is... *** It's been three weeks since Jarrod left. Three long weeks. And I still miss him. I'm sorry. I don't mean to go mushy on you again. I promise I won't do that anymore. I keep thinking you know. Am I normal? What I mean is... look first I'm gay. Second, I don't have much of a social life. I hate parties. I love the library. My name is Edo. I have no freakin' parents. And I most of all I'm a freakin' coward who runs all the time. Okay, now I'm scaring you. Sorry again. But sometimes I have this feeling that all the bad memories of my life was because of me. Like leaving for example. My dad left me. My mom died. And now Jarrod left to Australia. What's wrong with me? Why do people always leave me? I breathed. "Edo? What are you doing here?" the second I heard that I voice, I knew it was Pat. "Um... breathing fresh air?" I joked. "Don't you dare. I haven't seen you in weeks? Are you avoiding me?" Avoiding? Okay, so I'm avoiding Jarrod and Pat for a while. Well, I don't know why. It's just that these past few weeks I want to figure out myself you know. Since Jarrod left, I've come to question a lot about me being gay. And well... I guess I don't want to see Jed. I know that he and Pat are together now; I just need this to ease the pain. And so I answered, "Look, Pat I don't want to talk right now." "Have I done anything wrong? Jed's worried too. He's been asking questions about you. Is this about Jarrod? God Edo! Get over Jarrod! He's gone. He didn't even said goodbye to me or to Jed. He just left to God knows where." "You won't understand. I... I... I have to go," then I stormed past her. I guess she was yelling something but I was already gone. And then when I was about to go to corridors, I bumped into someone. "Hey, Edo. I haven't seen you around. Are you sick or something?" I just stared at him for a while then I went my way. "Hey, what's wrong" suddenly with a swift movement, he grabbed my arm. "Let go of me," I ordered "Not until you tell me what's wrong. I've been worried a bout you. I thought we're best friends." "Let go of my arm!" "NO! Look I'm sorry about the party okay? I didn't know you were leaving." By now, Jed had teary eyes, "Look Edo, I don't want to see you like this." "Please," this time I looked at his eyes and begged him. I know Jed's been worried. I can feel it. But he doesn't have to. He doesn't even have to be with me. He's got Pat. And I'm not her. By this time a car stopped beside us. Trent! Thank God! I quickly pulled out from Jed's grips and jumped through the front seat. I don't dare look at him now. But from what I saw, he was just standing there trying to hide his tears. "Well, traffic was bad. Good thing I'm right on time," Trent said and then waved at his brother, "see you bro!" And we were off. *** And I thought what I felt was simple And I thought that I don't belong And now that I am leaving Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you Yeah yeah, I missed you "So are you ready?" "Nervous." Okay, so I guess I haven't been telling you about everything. Well, for the last few weeks, I've been with Trent. Yes, I know that he's Jed's brother. Well, he's a lot more than that. You know the night when Trent and I met at his uncle's gay party? Nope? The thing is, he actually got my number and called after that. He said he was sorry about the falling asleep thing. Drinking problems, as usual. By then I guess he felt bad about it and offered to make up. So we met a couple of times. Okay, I guess not a couple but several times. Okay, okay. Maybe to a point that I already skip classes. Know he's not a bad influence. Actually for me, he's okay. I mean I could talk to him about everything. I guess I badly need someone to talk to about my problems. I don't usually do that stuff since I don't really want to show anyone what I feel. But Trent's become a good listener. We spent a lot of times just talking. And for the most part, I watched him sing. Yup, he's the vocalist in his own band. Maybe that's why I was drawn to Trent. Because deep inside someday I want to do what he does. You know, sing on a band. That was one of my dreams. Until that day. A week ago, Trent decided to come by my house. And went into full gear and explained that their guitarist was sick and he got to fill him up in their next performance. But then the vocalist position would be vacant. Then he thought of the one person who could sing. And that was me. I was hesitant at it first. But then I thought what the heck. This would be the perfect distraction from my emotional state right now. I mean God, I think I'm having PMS every second. And I guess it's the perfect distraction from the one person I can't get out of my mind. "Well, the trick is to look on top of your audience and never straight forward," Trent coached. "Thanks, I'll remember that." It was getting dark. With a swish from the wheels, he pulled off his car at the parking lot. I guess this is it. I warned him that I only sang once but he just said that it would be perfect. Yeah, right. So I went back stage and got dressed. There. Again. My heart was pounding like crazy. What if I trip? What if I say the wrong words? What if they throw fire sticks at me and scream 'Burn him!'. "You've got to learn to relax man," Joey said. Joey was one of the band. From what Trent said, he plays drums. He went to college but didn't like it there. "Do you love it? I mean this band and all. Must be hard for you to skip college and do this," I said. "Well, there are a lot of risks involved. But this is what I like man. My heart is on this one. Like playing drums when I was little and now I get to pursue my dreams. But you man, you've got a lot ahead of you. Just don't run away from what you really want." "Yeah well, I don't really know what I really want right now." "Ha, let's just see. So shall we?" He said motioning me to the curtains. The band was already there. Trent held on to his guitar and Joey got to his drums. And then I walked slowly at the center with my heart beating at every step. I heard the DJ call the band's name. Well, this is it. No more turning back. Then as soon as the curtains opened, I felt strange. It's like time stood still for me and the sounds, the lights, everything vanished. Like everything seem so dark and blurry. And at that moment, I had this irresistible urge to just use my feet and run. Run as fast as I could. Then I remembered. The first time I sang to an audience I almost ran out of the auditorium. If it wasn't for... Jed. And now Jed isn't here. God I can't do this! I can't do this alone! Suddenly I felt something eerie in my neck. It was like a burning sensation that couldn't be gone unnoticed. So I quickly fished out what it was. And there in a small piece of locket, I found... Jarrod. Jarrod's locket. Remembering what he said, I suddenly smiled. And as quickly as my fears disappeared, my senses came right back. Just hold to this locket and everything will be all right. I guess everything will be. I knew Jed wasn't there to save me but at that moment, I said to myself, Jarrod was my hero. And then the lights were on. *** "You're a god!" Trent leaped at me. "They liked it?" I quipped. Trent just stared at me like it was the most ludicrous question I have ever made, "Are you kidding? They loved it! And for a second there I thought you were about to run. But no. No sire! You just waited for the right moment and wham! You rocked their world! You've got real talent man." I guess they all liked it. From Trent's praises to the crowd's emotions, my performance was definitely my best. All thanks to Jarrod. You know I love you bud. Mwa! Mwa! Wow, I can't stop smiling now. All the while, people come up to me and say the show was great or could they fish out my number. Instant celebrity. Whoopee. Anyways, as I was packing my things up, Trent came up to me. "Hey, um want to grab something to eat? I'm starving. My special service to your majesty." "I don't know..." I began to refuse. "No extra charge. Besides it won't take long. And I won't take no for an answer." What am I going to do? "Okay. Let's just have some burger, cool?" "Yup." I guess I've got used to Trent's company that I can't refuse him anymore. He's become the big brother that I never had. You know, someone you look up to. I guess for a brother, he's so proud of me right now. "You were great," he said while sipping his coffee. "Thanks. That's the fourth time you said it. And if you repeat that again I'm going to have to transform myself into a recorder," I joked. "Okay, okay. Sorry." "That's alright." Silence. "You thought about him didn't you?" "What?" "Your best friend. Jarrod," How did he? Am I that obvious? "You don't have to tell me Edo. All this time, for the past weeks all you've been talking about was Jarrod. About being friends and the leaving thing. At first I thought you were just real good friends. Then you talked to me about the locket thing. And from what happened at the stage, I put two and two together. So it doesn't take a genius to work that out." Wow. For a sec there I felt like he was asking me the million dollar question and my time was running out. Though I don't really know if he asked anything. What am I supposed to say; Jarrod and I are more than friends? I wish. But he's just my friend and he'll remain to be one. I shouldn't have said about the locket thing. Or the leaving thing. Or the other 'things' I shared with him. Me and my big mouth. So that's it. I guess I just have to admit to him that I'm gay. That he'll be free to walk down that door and leave me here alone, like most of my life. So this is it... "Maybe that's why you and Jed are perfect for each other." Swoosh. Splat. Boom. There. Suddenly, my uncontrollable reflexes made all the liquid that I was drinking come out of my mouth and splatter all over Trent's face. Like hell just escaped from my mouth. "Oh, god! I'm so sorry. I was just... um... here," I took all the tissue and began wiping his face. Smiling Trent took the tissue and cleaned himself. Urgh! I'm such an idiot! "That's okay. It was just like being hosed out from a drinking fountain," we both laughed. "Anyway, um... uhh... what did you say before?" Now he looked straight at me. Surprised that I even mentioned it, "Did I say anything?" Trying to look innocent. But then he took one breath and said, "Okay. Look Edo, I know you trust me a lot. By the way you shared to me all your problems and stuff. So I guess it's about time to trust you, right? Can I trust you?" I tried to joke it out. But I guess this one is serious. Well, I assured him that he could tell me anything and I wouldn't tell a soul. And I guess that comforted him. "Jed's gay," he said softly, "He's not you know... straight." "Uhuh" I responded. I guess this topic weirds him out. "Well, he's not limp wristed or anything like that so don't go judging him that way. He's still Jed. My brother. And I love him. Anyway, he doesn't you know, have girlfriends. But he happened to fall with this guy in his last school. He said he liked him like he'll die for the guy. Typical teenager. That's when Jed had his first boyfriend. They obviously hide their relationship out. So to cut the story short, it wasn't really a fairy tale come true. It turns out the guy is a loser. He only went to Jed for a bet that proves Jed is gay. Cause you know, from where Jed came from, he's quite popular with the girls. He plays football and other sports. But rumors spread. If you're a jock and you don't have a track record of having girlfriends whatsoever, then you must be gay. So this guy ends up breaking his heart and telling the whole school that Jed's... well, you know." "Thus the transfer to this school. He now lives with me in our apartment. He hates going back to our parents and the town he grew up. So many bad memories, you know? Anyway, since I consider our family as well off, we get to have our allowances for the apartment and stuff." By this point I have so many questions running through my head right now. But the one thing that's really playing in my head was: Jed's gay? I mean he doesn't look gay. Nor does he act like one. He's so cute; he's supposed to be straight. No, that's not what I meant. What I mean is, Jed isn't supposed to be gay. Not now. Not ever. "Then why the buzz?" I quickly cut off his track. "What?" "Why the buzz in your uncle's party? You said that Pat and Jed look good together. Why did you say that?" I said strangely. "Ah, I just said they looked good together. I'm not implying that they should be together. Besides I was just teasing you." He smiled sheepishly. "And in what demented mind did you do that for?" I said as if I had to ask. "I've watched Will and Grace now and then. And don't think only gays guys have gaydars. Straight guys are a satellite dish in telling who's gay and who's hot." "So you knew me as gay then. After that, you planned several meetings to get to know your newfound gay guy. And finally you ask him out to eat. You tell Jed's life so the guy could also be interested in Jed's life. And now, the matchmaker lights are blinking. Cynthia, where would our lovely romantics go to on their first honeymoon?" Ha! Figured out his most diabolical plan! "Well, Mr. Trent, for all you know, I don't go for the first gay guy I see." "Ah, I guess you caught me on that one. Well, seriously though. I know you and Jed could click. I mean I know you won't break his heart this time. I'd have to cut your throat, on that. And Jed needs someone right now. You'll see him always smiling but deep inside he badly needs you. He's sweet and sensitive. The way he shows concern every time you're down. I mean give Jed a chance. He's my brother and I know what's best for him. And right now, that's you." Okay. I thought the whole Trent thing was to get away with Jed but now it's completely opposite. Jed here. Jed there. Why is Jed suddenly sticking up my face? I know. I know it's weird to be asked by Jed's brother to be his boyfriend. God! I don't even know much about Jed. Except for the story that Trent told me. Urgh! "What makes you think that I like Jed?" Okay, that didn't sound right. "Well, you don't," he paused, "But deep inside you do. Not because of his good looks or he's personality but because you know that this time, you're running away again. And the last person that's still standing amongst all the people that left you is... Jed." Damn! I could almost hear the applause of the Nobel Peace Prize coming up. Why did I tell him everything? "Oh, so now you believe in the big-L. Well, I thought you were the one denying everything. Mr. love sucks. Love sucks my ass." I said like I just shoved the Hiroshima bomb down to his throat. He begins to laugh, "You little... well, let's just say I've got a fair share of broken hearts already. Besides I have a reasonable explanation to all of that." "And that is?" "We're supposed to be drunk lovebirds together, remember?" *** Trent never stopped laughing in his car. He kept rubbing his stomach like a crazy chimpanzee. He said the look on my face, when he made that last remark, was priceless. Typical college boy. Anyway Trent already pulled off the car at my house. By that time I looked at my watched and saw that it was still seven. Hmm. Still early. I hope grams didn't worry about me too much. God, I had such a night. The lights, the cheers. I thought I was already in the music industry. Then I invited Trent to come in. He took the offer and said he had to call Jed from their apartment. We walked our way to my house but as soon as we were at the front door, I could almost hear people talking. What the? From where I stood, I could almost see four people in our living room. Four noisy people. Curious, Trent leaned beside me and said that we should find out who they were. So taking up all the courage that I have, with hope that it wasn't muggers trying to rob us, I banged the door open. There in the far right was grams. I quickly recognized Trish sitting at the corner. Then Mr. Krauss was in front of grams. And there. The only person that I didn't know was that tall man beside grams. They all looked at us surprised. "Oh, Edo, Mr. Krauss is here..." grams tried to explain but the grumpy man cut her off. "Mr. Edo Goth," he shook my hand. Trying to be all gentlemen in front of everybody. I, in return gave him only a stare, "I've come here to tell your grandmother that you've been skipping class lately. And the school doesn't tolerate that. Especially students who are in the scholarship program." Oh, good. He threatens me. Again. But I then shrugged him off and turned to Trish who was now eating a cake grams made. "And you, what are you doing here?" "Oh, well. I had to tell Mr. Krauss where your house was. Besides I'm worried about you honey. I haven't seen you this past few weeks. What are you up to?" "Yes, Edo. What are you up to?" Mr. Krauss' bitchy attitude was clearly showing. "Look, why don't we just leave the kid alone and settle this tomorrow. I can see Edo has had a rough night. And I guess his friend here has too," the tall man said. You know the awful feeling that something bad is going to happen. That deep inside of you, a bomb is going to explode and you don't even know it. Well I do. Right now. Right here. I can feel it. Then the bomb inside of me suddenly lit up and the clock started to tick. Wait a minute I know this man. Tick. He's familiar. Tick. His face. Tick. His voice. Tick. Tick. Tick. Time's up. With all tears in my eyes, came a dry whimper of sobs, "Who the hell are you to come here and talk like my father?! Who the hell are you?!" I then hurriedly climbed up the stairs, not wanting to look back, desperately trying not to think. *** Yes. I got it finished. Whoa. I thought it wasn't going to end! Anyway I hoped you all liked it. I already have an idea on how to close this one. So I guess I need a few more chapters and then I'm done. Well, I'm actually considering on writing a new one also in the high school or college section. I don't know what the title would be yet but I do have an idea on how the story would go. Anyways, I'd like to hear from you the best stories you've read from Nifty. I'd like to know what you think. Email me on itsme_afterglow@yahoo.com. So stay cool you all! *afterglow