Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 20:08:54 -0500 From: Jasin Chau Subject: Steve and Jason: Brian Life, why is it so hard? Confusing, to the point where you don't care no more. School is just a phase I go through. Money is meaningless if you don't have anybody to spend it with. Life is meaningless if you don't have anybody to be with. Friends, family, teachers, and everybody else always sees me as a happy boy, but inside I am dieing everyday. Its not the people, but actually the people that fall in love with others that I see walk around in the hallways. They seem so happy, so complete. What I would give, to have something like that. My name is Brian, but I am called " Cheeks" by girls for awhile. The girls that had crushes on me, have something like a fetish with my cheeks, I don't know, I guess they think its cute. Anyway, I am pretty short for my age, but I should be around my brother height when I hit my growth spurt, which is around 5'9. My brother Steve, I think its weirdo at times, but sometimes he can be cool too. I think his girlfriend right now ain't that cute though or pretty for the matter of fact, but what do I know. Yeah, girls don't really give me that kind of spark, and yup that means I'm gay. Its been kind of hard on me. But while I try to act straight as possible, inside I am just tired of lying to myself and to everybody. I want them to know me, not just ME being gay. So I guess telling people I am gay is out of the question for now. Life in the city is pretty boring and there isn't much to do at all. That means playing sports is hard to come by. We sometimes play in a field, but that place is too far away. So the best thing to do is play, what else, but GAMES. I have lots of enemies, and people that envy me. But when you got skills, you got it. Steve is supportive at what I do best and he can almost be as good as me, if he would only stop trying so hard at school. He is always such an hard worker and try so hard to be fit and bright. I know he is trying to impress somebody, but geez he just needs to calm down. He also got this job at my uncles over the weekends, which he barely gets paid, I don't know why he even bothers to work there. With my brother gone, and me being only thirteen almost turning fourteen, I have nothing to do. Sure I have friends, but I don't make them easy, you know. I tend to get shy at people I don't know and its hard for me when I meet somebody cute. Like right now, there's a cutie playing counterstrike right next to me. I am sitting in my computer at a place called "PCs." It's a great place to play games and kick ass with fast working computers. I looked at the screen and notice someone new is in and wants to challenge me. Oh, this sucker is gonna get a whooping. There is a reputation of me in this place and that's me being almost unbeatable, almost. Damn! How that guy kill me so fast, I didn't even get a clear look. I saw the cutie throw his arms in the air and said out loud at the computer screen, " haha gotcha." I looked over at his screen to see who he got. What a coincidence, he's the guy who killed me. Admitting my defeat I extended my hand to be a good sport about it. He turned around and looked at me a little confused. " oh sorry I'm the guy you just killed on counterstrke," I admitted with a smile. " aaww, dude haha sorry I just had you at the right place at the right time, good game though, my name is Kyle," He responded giving me a good handshake. I smiled and introduced myself and looked down at how long our handshake had last. Kyle noticed and jerk his hand away from mines before anything got weird. My hour was up and I had to get up and leave. But before I left, I did something that I usually don't do to other people who I don't know that well. I said, " uh, bye Kyle, I guess I see you around." He turned around and waved me goodbye with that cute smiles of his. This is going to hurt me for awhile. I know that me and him would never see each other again, what's the odds of that happening anyways. Well I guess it time for me to head home for another day of boredom. Yup this place where I call home is actually not bad at all. I like it here, its what a home should be like. I went in my house and saw Steve on the computer talking to some people. Mom is making food for dinner and dad is probably out with his friends. Mom is working a little harder for Steve's appetite, he's not fat, but actually is well built. He just loves to eat. That kind of reminds me of Jason. They are both big eaters, but I think Steve is the winner in that department. Being out all day, I needed a little rest. Lets see what's on TV. I can't believe they cut out "OFF CENTER" that was the best show with Chow and all. He was a funny mofo. I guess I have to deal with " The Simpsons" for now. After awhile I didn't even notice, but I fell a sleep right there on the coach. I notice an announcer spoke out about a shooting on the news. He announced, " There was a shooting today, a young boy has been hit by a stray bullet. Kyle rite now is ok, but he is being taken to the ambulance as soon as possible." That caught my attention and I quickly opened my eyes to see if it was MY Kyle, that I met not too long ago. Damn it, the news guy is in the way. Wait, I see his hair, its got to be him. I took my jacket and ran back to PCs. Steve was worried about what was the matter with me, but I couldn't waste time for small talk and I bolted out. My feet was going as fast as it could and it hurts to go at the paste that I was at. By the time I got there the ambulience was leaving already. AAWW man, I missed it. But I thought about it and convinced myself it was probally not him anyways. There was a kid at a corner though crying with his parents around him. I walked over to ask if they knew Kyle. They knew Kyle! Actually they were his parents. Out of curiosity I had to know if it was Kyle Kyle. I asked, " This Kyle does he go to PCs to play." Surprisingly they said yes. Oh my god it was the Kyle that I knew. But who was this kid crying though. Seeing there were no place for me here I decided to head home. The father placed his hand on my shoulder. "You know Kyle rite? Why don't you come with us? We are meeting him at the hospital." I didn't know what to say because I barely know these people and Kyle. But for him, I guess I'll take the way my heart wants. Yes, I wanted to see Kyle again. So with no further questions we headed towards the hospital. The place seems so far away, but when we got there, seeing Kyle again was all that matters. He was on stretcher with all these tubes and stuff on him. Seeing him so helpless and wounded I couldn't help, but tear up alittle. His eyes started to flutter open. Still he seemed tired and drowsy, and a little blinded by the lights. I got closer to him. There was something he wanted to say. He whispered, " Wow we barely know each other and you still came and visited me. I think this is a beginning of a good relationship." We both smiled, but it was getting late and I bet Mom was going to get worried. Oh no, how am I going to get home. This day is such a bull shit day. Kyle held my hand a little tighter. Wait, there's something wrong, why is his heart monitor just one line. There's no BEEPING! I looked at Kyle, his eyes were closed. The doctor quickly came in from the alarm, me and Kyle's family were escorted out. I didn't want to leave, but the doctor just needed space to do his job and I didn't want to get in the way. We were left in the hallway. Left there to wait, sit, and have no clue what to expect. Worried was not the word to describe what I was feeling, but more like SIKED out. I couldn't help, but pace back and forth. Other than that I couldn't also help, but notice the boy which I don't think is related to Kyle staring at me. Hes giving me an evil eye, I think. Hours past and the doctor came out. His hands were bloody and his facial expression was covered by his mask. This was the moment of truth, would my new found friend live through this day __ I don't know, but I just noticed all my stories always ends up in a hospital. I guess it's a place to show concern I guess. This is really just a coincidence. Ne ways this story is about Steve's brother Brian. I had lots of good comments about me and Steve so I decided to tell Brian's story. Although me and Steve's story is true, Brian's is just fictional. Brian has a cute love life, but it is difficult so I am trying to write something's out. Hope this can suit your fancy.