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When I left Steven's house I was still a nervous wreck. He can assure me that he will be all right til the cows come home but that won't do very much for me until I physically see him tomorrow. I got home and my parents were there watching some old movie. They were cuddled up together on the couch and just looked content being close together. I used to find myself wondering if I would find someone I could be that comfortable with. I knew it would happen someday but it wasn't too long ago that I thought that. I feel like I can get there with Steven and I think he wants the same.
Cuddling and being close is nice, I love it when he holds me in his strong arms. I feel so protected and cherished. I am not going to say loved because he hasn't told me he loves me. He likes me but he hasn't told me he loves me. Perhaps it is too soon for him to feel comfortable saying it. I have been wanting to tell him I love him and I do, I just don't want to jump the gun and scare him off or make him feel obliged to say it too. I starting walking towards my room when my mom paused the movie and spoke.
"Jason, would you sit down so we can talk for a minute?"
"Sure, let me drop something off in my room real quick." I said and quickly set the scanner on my bed and went back into the family room.
"You look like shit son." My dad is blunt to say the least.
"John, can't you be more sensitive!" Mom admonished him."Let me do the talking. Jason, the past two nights after spending time with Steven, you don't seem your usual self. You were so happy and cheerful and all of a sudden you're downtrodden and mopey. You try to put on a facade but we've noticed. What's going on?"
"I'm just nervous and worried about him for tonight. He tries to assure me that he will be all right but it just isn't enough." My eyes starting to water, "It's not that I would ask him not to follow his dreams so I would not feel like this, it's just that I don't know how someone can choose a path that puts them in danger when other people care for and love him."
"So you love him?" Mom asked.
I nodded, looked down and let a few silent tears fall down my cheeks.
"Have you told him that?" Mom continued.
I shook my head no and sniffled, still not speaking. Would my parents think that it is too soon for me to love Steven?
"I told your father I loved him on our second date..." Mom started before dad interrupted.
"I started to book it out the door but she said she would put out if I didn't run away." He snickered.
After she smacked him upside his head and told him to leave she continued, "When you know you love the person and you are not making that decision based on what your little man think is best for him, then it is love and not just lust."
I spoke up with red cheeks, "Can you not bring my penis into the discussion?"
My dad spoke up from the kitchen, "She's right and don't think with your pee pee all the time or it will get you in trouble."
I just covered my ears and looked down wishing they would stop discussing my junk. Mom leaned forward and pulled my head up to look at her.
"Are you going to say it first or just wait for him to say it?"
"I was thinking about waiting for him to say it." I said quietly.
"I can tell by the look in his eye that he feels strongly for you. If he isn't ready to say he loves you yet, he is very close. I just hope that you both don't get cold feet and miss the opportunity to say it to each other, especially if it is a good moment to make it known to each other."
"I love you mom." I reached over and hugged her.
"What about me?" Dad asked.
"Not until you learn to use your big boy words." Mom smiled then reached for him to join us.
After we parted I told them what Steven had given to me and what I would be doing tonight. Mom said dinner would be in about 90 minutes and that she wanted us to eat as a family. However she did allow me to bring the scanner to the table if I kept it turned down. Dinner was excellent and when there was some chatter on the scanner dad asked me which one Steven was. I told him just as he got on the radio. Steven says him and Stan are in service.
When dinner was finished I offered to clean up but mom made dad clean up after his earlier comments. I returned to my room and listened to the scanner the rest of the night. I wanted to stay up until Steven was done but the last time I looked at the clock it said it was 11:30PM and I thought I would be able to make it until I suddenly fell asleep.
I woke up in the morning in a panic. I didn't have an alarm set and I didn't know if I was late to wake Steven up, if he had survived the night or what. I threw on some athletic shorts, sandals and a t shirt and headed to the kitchen for some juice before I left.
"Good morning dear, you're up early." Mom sang out.
"What time is it?" I asked.
I relaxed a little bit and opted for a cup of coffee. It always gets me cleaned out if I'm constipated. I sat and made idle chit chat with mom while I drank.
"Why are you up so early this morning?" Mom asked.
"Steven said I could come over this morning so I could put my nerves at ease knowing he made it home ok and also to not let him sleep past noon."
"What time was he supposed to be off?"
"Well, he's only been asleep for maybe 4 hours, why don't you go over around 10?" Mom suggested.
"How about we agree to 9?" I countered.
"Okay, you can watch over him but don't disturb him too much until noon." Mom replied and went back to reading the paper.
Sure enough, five minutes after I finished my coffee I bee-lined it to the bathroom. I finished and went outside for some fresh air only to end up running back after I farted and felt that there was more to come.
When I was certain that I had voided my bowels I got in my truck and drove towards Stevens. The morning air was pleasant, the wild flowers sending my brain on overload with all the wonderful smells. I got to Steven's house just after 9, retrieved the key and quietly went inside. I removed my sandals and crept towards his room. I wanted to know if he was snoring for some reason and didn't want him to wake up leaving me wondering. I slowly opened his door and saw him laying on his back, arms and legs spread out, wearing nothing but some skimpy shorts.
I removed my shirt and left on my shorts since I was going commando today and made my way towards his bed and gently laid down next to him.
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