Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:18:59 -0700 (PDT) From: Michael Smith Subject: Stories from Haven - Michael 1 DISCLAIMER The following story is completely fictitious and any resemblances to persons living or dead are entirely coincidental. Just as in life, this story contains graphic scenes of love and hate, life and death, joy and sorrow, as well as material that may be offensive to some audiences. If such material makes you feel uncomfortable, then please read no further than this warning. Send questions and comments to thatguywhowritesniftysmut@gmail.com STORIES FROM HAVEN - MICHAEL The tapping of the keyboard was steady, yet unproductive, as aspiring writer Michael Smith stared at the now three page document in-front of his computer composed of a single string of the letter `e,' and the document was growing. For the last 10 minutes, the writer had tried to continue with his story, but he was distracted, and the typical ceaseless flow of imagination made manifest at his fingertips had dwindled to an embarrassing trickle of E's on his word document. The author was well aware of the source of his unrest. He closed his blue eyes and tried to focus, desperately trying to concentrate, but all that he saw in his mind's eye was the criticism of his last batch of e-mails. With phrases like `deconstructive storyline' and `unappealing direction' and `unrealistic approach,' Michael let out a heavy sigh. He allowed his head to slam against the top of his desk while he sorted himself out. His mess of overgrown brown hair spread out on the desk's hardwood surface. He needed a haircut, his mother would say. The telltale sound of jingling keys and the rustle of plastic bags outside the door to his apartment signaled the arrival of Michael's roommate, Allan Shepherd, back from a fruitful day of grocery shopping. As the door opened, Michael didn't bother looking up from his current position sulking at the computer with his head resting on the computer desk, but he greeted his roommate all the same. "Hello," came a muffled voice from under Michael's mop of hair. "Oh, wow," Allan said as he looked over towards the desk in their somewhat spacious living room, "looks like you are having fun." Allan put his groceries away in the open kitchen as Michael continued to sulk. As Allan worked, the twenty-four year old pulled out a bottle of chocolate milk and walked it over towards his roommate who having heard him approach picked his head up slightly in acknowledgement; a bit of his hair plastered to his forehead. "For starving artists," Allan said as he dangled the chocolate milk in front of his friend. Michael gratefully accepted the kind offering from Allan and had downed almost a third of the bottle before leaning back and relaxing a bit. Feeling a kind hand ruffle his hair, Michael looked up to see Allan smiling down at him. "Treating me like one of the kids?" Michael accused as he playfully glared at his roommate. "I wouldn't feel the need if you didn't act like it all the time." Allan replied with a small smile, "So, what is the drama today? Writer's block?" "Wish it were that simple," Michael said as he set the glass bottle of milk down on the desk. "I got some e-mails about my writing, and I guess I've been letting them get to me." Allan just slowly nodded as he listened to his friend. Allan knew Michael had a good heart, and he knew he wouldn't write pure smut, but he had warned the budding author that nifty was a whole different place then the publishing world he aspired to be a part of. "Well," Allan said supportively, "I happen to think your story is great, but what do you want to do about it? I mean, you can't just give up on your story, right?" "Yeah..." Michael said still a little disheartened, "...but, what if people don't like it?" "So," Allan said matter-of-factly, "if they don't like it, they don't like it. You have to be a little thicker skinned, buddy. Besides, a majority of the people that read this stuff are just there to get off anyway, so I am sure when they read your stuff they will be surprised to find actual substance and a touching story. I mean, just look at Nolan's story or even Kendal and Sammy's." Michael had allowed Allan to proofread his first few chapters. "I guess you are right," Michael agreed as he rested his head against Allan's arm comfortingly, "but those are mostly true accounts, or at least as far as I know according to the grapevine." "Well, if you wanted, you could always ask the kids what they think about your writing. I mean, just give them the stories you have worked out thus far." Allan suggested as he gave a little shoulder rub. "After all, so long as you have their and my support, is there really anyone else that matters?" Michael looked up into his roommates stormy blue eyes. "Nope." The author smiled. "Good." Allan said as he leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "Now, I am going to fix up some lunch quick and then we have to be downstairs to help set up some stuff for tonight. If you like, while I fix up the food, you can print out the stories downstairs on the printer for the kids tonight. I am pretty sure Nolan and Dylan are coming, I saw Mrs. Richardson at the store and she said they were looking forward to tonight. Austin, Eddy, Kendal, and Sammy should be here tonight since this is the last practice for their band before the talent show tomorrow night—which we are going to by the way. How does that sound?" "It sounds like a game plan." Michael said as his mother would have. "Fuck you, Sammy!" the boy shouted at the top of his lungs as everyone in the room stared in disbelief that Kendal, loveable adorable Kendal, could say such a thing. It had been building up for the last week or so, as the two boys had grown closer and closer little slips of their love made it through their façade of indifference, and out of a sense of urgency to keep their love hidden, they had begun openly disliking each other in front of the other band members. "Well, fuck you, too." Sammy retorted half-heartedly. Kendal looked devastated as his bottom lip began to quiver. "God, Damnit!" Eddy yelled to the shock and awe of the gathered band. DJ Orphan had been together for almost two months now, playing and practicing their music, and for the entire time Sammy and Kendal had lived in utter fear of revealing their true feelings for one another to the band because they thought Austin Decker, their band leader, would disapprove. Austin, on the other hand, had spent the last two months toying with the boys, knowing full well they were in love and dating one another. Olivia bit her tongue because she got off on that sort of turmoil in other people's lives, and Eddy had remained silent out of indifference towards either side. However, seeing the hurt his silence was causing, he could remain quit no longer. The eyes of the entire band were upon him, and Eddy could tell from Austin's body language that the band leader had suddenly realized he had taken the game too far. "Sammy!" Eddy ordered, "You march your skinny pale-white ass over there right now and apologize to Kendal! Kendal, you equally apologize to Sammy because you shouldn't say things like that. I expect that kind of badmouth shit from Sammy or Olivia, but not from you. As for you, Austin, you apologize to both of them." Eddy let his words hang, suspended over the band. For what it was worth, Austin took his queue from Eddy and sheepishly stepped forward, towards his rhythm section. "Umm, yeah..." Austin began, "so, I was totally going to tell you guys... but it was so cute watching you guys try and hide your feelings from us... sorry. We've known you guys are an item... for a while..." Kendal looked on in complete shock and disbelief. Sammy glared his eyes and looked pissed towards his band leader. "How long of a while?" Sammy asked dangerously. "Well..." Austin diverted, "remember when you two met that one night when Sammy almost didn't join? I've known since before that." "Wait, you've known since before that, how?" Sammy asked. "You almost didn't join the band?" Kendal asked Sammy as he ignored Austin. Sammy was suddenly taken off guard by Kendal's question and turned visibly red. "That's right," Eddy interjected as he explained the minor details to Kendal, "he thought Austin's reason for getting the band together was stupid, at least his reason for picking Sammy to be a part of it, and he was walking right out the door when he ran right into you, little buddy. We all knew you two had something between you after that first night, since Sammy joined right after he laid eyes on you, and you couldn't stop babbling on while glancing at him." "So... everybody knows?" Kendal asked. "Yep." Austin confirmed. "Everybody?" Sammy asked a little questioningly. "Yeah, everybody, even the other kids and Allan know." Olivia retorted, "I mean, no offense, but you guys aren't that great at hiding it. Although, you might do a better job of it if somebody didn't keep writing his name along with his boyfriend's name in little hearts all over his notebook at school." Austin and Eddy looked over towards Kendal. "But... I don't..." Kendal turned slowly to look at Sammy who by that time was visibly crimson. "I didn't say it was Kendal." Olivia grinned. "Oh shit." Aiden said as he looked down at the error before him, running his slender fingers through his currently cotton-candy colored blond hair. He hadn't meant to do it; it had been an accident. The teen was near tears. "Damn, dude. You killed him." Colton said as his gangly frame dwarfed his otherwise average height friend. Being freakishly tall for your age had a few disadvantages, but right now Colton was enjoying the view of the unconscious boy Aiden had just laid-out cold on the grass with an errant limb. Colton's comment was making Aiden visibly more distressed. "Give it a rest, Colton." Dylan said as he leaned over the unconscious body checking for injury. "He looks fine; you just caught him good and knocked him out, Aiden." Aiden breathed a small sigh of relief. "I wonder how long he will be out." Colton asked. As if in answer to the rhetorical question, the unconscious boy's eyes opened as he popped straight up, knocking Dylan Richardson into a sitting position out of surprise. Slowly looking around, his messy black hair slightly in the way of his eyes, the small boy appeared to be looking for an explanation as to why he was suddenly on the ground instead of running in for a touchdown. "You okay?" Dylan asked from his position on the ground. "You took a good tumble." "Umm, I think so, Dylan." The boy said, "Let me check." With a spryness reserved only for youth, Nolan kipped up and began to slowly stretch. The three boys closest to him watched carefully as the twelve year old bent, reached, and stretched his body with a flexibility that borderlined creepy. The rest of the makeshift group of kids that had gathered to play football in the park just outside watched equally transfixed at Nolan's flexibility and seemingly boundless ability to take punishment. Aiden had totally nailed him and yet the youth lived; a feat in and of itself. "Yep," Nolan said after a few more moments' consideration. "I'm good." "Don't scare me like that, you little shit!" Aiden yelled as he grabbed Nolan by the shirt. "I thought I had really hurt you!" Dylan intervened between his new friend and his slightly shocked and confused foster brother. His presence seemed to be a calming effect on both. "I'm sorry," Nolan sniffled. Oh great, Dylan thought to himself, now Nolan was going to be upset. This was only his third visit to Haven since Allan cleared him to start coming with Grace and the other facilitators. At twelve, Nolan was the youngest youth at Haven and something of an exception to the general rules, but since he was a freshman in high school like Dylan, he had been given special dispensation. Dylan's only hope was that Nolan wouldn't be down all night because of getting yelled at by Aiden. He would have to talk with Aiden and see if he... It was the sound of Nolan excited laughter that brought Dylan out of his over-thinking. Apparently the youth had rejoined the rest of the kids in their game of football, but Dylan was quick to notice Aiden had made himself scarce, resting under the shade of a nearby tree rather than rejoining his friends. With a watchful eye on Nolan, making sure he was playing safely with the other kids, Dylan made his way over towards Aiden and joined his friend under the shade of the tree. "You okay?" Dylan asked after a few moments of silence. "My arm is fine." Aiden said curtly alluding to the arm that accidently caught Nolan in the head a few minutes ago. "I wasn't talking about your arm." Dylan explained, as he gave Aiden a sideway glance with brown eyes that seemed to see through the tough boy façade. "I know." Aiden said as he continued to watch as the game unfolded in the distance. Nolan had ran for a ridiculously bad throw by Colton and had only missed the ball by a few feet, the boy seemed to have an overabundance of energy, but both Dylan and Aiden knew Nolan would be crashing hard by the end of the night. He always overexerted himself and was barely awake when the Richardsons came to collect them at the end of the night. "I know you didn't mean to hurt him." Dylan said simply. "I also know he knows it too." Aiden pulled his knees up to his chin as he allowed his pretty features to hide with only his eyes and short multicolored hair showing. The two continued to watch as the football game unfolded until they saw one of the facilitators, Clarke, wave them in from the center's door. "Shall we?" Dylan asked as he got up and offered a hand to his friend. Aiden accepted and together they went to collect a very happy but exhausted Nolan. "You know," Aiden said quietly to Dylan as they approached Nolan, "someday you are going to make a great dad." Dylan slightly blushed at the compliment before they herded a still bounding Nolan towards the center. Aiden had to laugh to himself at the youth who even in his tired state continued to bounce around them recounting the entire game, even though his side had lost. As they got to the end of the small park, Dylan took pity on the boy and gave him a piggyback ride across the street. As they raced ahead towards the center, Aiden stayed back a bit watching the pair, a little jealous of their brotherly relationship. The figure paced back and forth before the small gathered group before him; their eyes fixed on their leader with mixed levels of anticipation and apathy. With one night before the talent show, DJ Orphan was in the final stages of preparation for their first public performance, and Austin Decker was giving them a stirring speech meant to inspire and bolster. "I swear to God, if you fuck up..." Austin continued, "... just go with it. After all, John Lennon had that piano slip up on that live recording of `Let it Be' and the Beatles kept it in because it was still a kick-ass recording. Don't worry about the audience, the audience doesn't exist... well, I mean they do exist... but don't worry about them existing, just know that they are there but it doesn't matter... just..." Olivia put a steadying hand on the band leader's shoulder as she traded places with him, forcing him to sit down as he nervously rambled. "Austin, play your damn song." She said rather plainly. "Eddy, keep it tight since you offset Austin's more emotional playing, but be sure to follow Austin's lead if he starts to go off on an inspired tangent just like we practiced. Kendal, you tend to rush during the key change, so make sure you stay on tempo and if you ever feel like you are getting lost just follow my rhythm on keyboards because I will be following Austin. Connors... this is actually one of your stronger songs, so you should be okay, so long as you keep it together just like in practice." Typically Olivia was a negative Nancy, but given the pressure her best friend Austin was currently under, she had stepped up and really given the band the advice and confidence they needed for tomorrow night. Looking over towards Austin, Olivia was happy to see the guitarist and vocalist had calmed down a bit. He was nervous, and she knew why; Andy was coming to the talent show and Austin had something to prove to his older brother. "Alright," Olivia continued, "we meet at the school auditorium a half hour before it starts to go over a few last minute things, but otherwise you are free to do as you please tonight." "We aren't going to practice?" Kendal asked innocently as he hung off of his boyfriend and band mate Sammy, his multicolored eyes looking to Olivia in that adorable way he did sometimes. "Nope," Olivia confirmed, "Austin and I figure if you don't have the music in you by now, we are fucked anyway. Now remember, we are performing last which could be a nail in the coffin, being as everybody is ready to go by then, but we are going to turn that negative into a positive by giving them a performance that is going to be the only thing they are going to remember from the entire night." "CANNON ROCK!" Austin cried suddenly. "Cannon Rock!" the rest of the band echoed in support to their leader. Cannon in D major set to a rock rhythm would be their weapon of choice tomorrow night, and they were going to knock it out of the park. The group had chosen to do `Cannon Rock' after being inspired by a very entertaining youtube video and had worked tirelessly over the last month to hone their sound since they decided to perform at the talent show. "Now go and relax a bit." Olivia ordered and the band readily complied. The crowd grew quiet, their jeers and obscene words fell to silence with but one cord. One cord become two, became more, woven together as living breathing sound with its own heartbeat; its own soul. There it was; the music. Thick in the air like an unseen fog, but heavy and weighing on those scattered about the small club, no one dared breathe less they disturb a single vibrating particle in the air. Andy Decker had forgotten himself, but the music of his little brother, Austin, brought him back into the present. The music bayed to him, so Andy answered his kid brother in song. As Austin picked up the rhythm of his guitar the energy of the room shifted, suddenly the dark plea became a force of nature. Emotion ran together with pitch and rhythm in an endless waltz of life, death, and sound. For Austin, for the musician inside of him, there was nothing more pure or sweet then the art flowing from his fingertips. He would have kept playing for hours, for days, sharing with the world the endless anthem that existed outside and within, but it seemed only a few moments went by before the band played the final cord and the song ended. For now, Austin thought to himself, rest for now my sweet symphony. "Woo!" Andy shouted into the microphone as the crowd roared its approval. "Yeah!? You liked that? Yeah!" Austin gave a sideways glance towards his older brother through dark glasses. More than anything, Andy loved the crowd, their cheers, their praise, even when it was unfounded. His older brother had lined up the gig long in advance with the club's owner. It was part of a series of gigs all aimed towards Andy's dream of entering the battle of the bands. Unfortunately, that was before Andy's guitarist decided to flake out on him. "Give it up for the Cavalcade of Whimsy!" Andy shouted out the name of the band, soaking in the applause. Andy made no mention, nor would he make any mention of the artful guitar playing of his little brother who he kept buried in the background, nor would he admit that it was Austin that had organized the set list as well as written the song that had won the hearts of the crowd. Andy would make no effort to conceal his smugness in front of the thirteen year old boy, and his band mates would go along with him because he was charismatic and dangerous. "Yeah!" he cried out once more as the crowd cheered and clapped, but then the most amazing thing happened. "Austin! Austin! Austin!" the crowd began chanting Austin Decker's name. For a brief moment in time, it wasn't Andy everybody was praising, but rather the kind and talented younger brother of the loud and stubborn Andy Decker. The younger boy had not sought praise, approval, or even acknowledgement from the crowd, only to bring to their ears the music within his heart. For that alone, he would see severe repercussions; Andy Decker was not to be upstaged. "What the fuck!" Andy cried out as he slammed his fist into the table back in the break room of the club. The crowd had long since died down and the next band was performing. The drummer and bassist of CW sat on the couch, like Austin, simply waiting for the tirade to end. "I go out of my way to bring you into this band and get your foot in the door and this is how you fucking repay me you little shit?" This was not the first time Austin had been `talked to' by his older brother. Honestly, the younger boy just wanted his older brother to smoke some pot and mellow out like he normally did after something didn't go his way. It had been like this ever since he could remember. Andy at twenty-three was a good ten years older than his kid brother and resented the fact he had to play babysitter to the kid while their parents were in Europe working. "I just played the song, Andy." Austin retorted; a dangerous move indeed. Austin had long since discarded the dark glasses and hat Andy had forced him to wear during their performance to obscure his true age, reasoning no self respecting rock band would have a kid in it. Yet, it was that kid who was responsible for ensure the Cavalcade of Whimsy made it to the next session of competitions. While Andy had tried to use the excuse of protecting his little brother, sheltering him from the dangerous world of rock and roll, Austin knew it was bullshit in the first degree. Andy Decker cared for no one but himself. "Don't give me that shit," Andy fumed, "You two heard him, licking those notes, pandering and showboating. It was sloppy and brought the entire song down, almost cost us the round. Look, I appreciate what you tried to do for us, but things will be much easier when Kevin gets back." Austin was stunned into silence. "Wait, Andy..." the drummer said, "Didn't Kev bail on us?" "It was a misunderstanding." Andy explained as he ignored his little brother's hurt feelings at so easily being tossed aside, "Things will be back to normal once Kevin joins us at the semi-finals." "Austin..." the bassist tried to comfort the young boy as he looked like he could cry at any moment. "It's fine." Austin said still piecing together the latest in a long series of disappointments forced upon him by his older `brother.' "I'm just sorry I held you guys back so much. I better get going, it's getting late and I already missed drop-in to come down here and play with you... it's Friday, Andy, so I will be at Olivia's tonight." "Good," Andy said as his younger brother secretly wished he would just shut up, "I'm glad we could pull you away from the faggot fest. I'm starting to think you are spending too much time down there with all those queers, especially with all the time you spend with your friend Olivia without getting any action. Maybe tonight you should give her the old Decker try, unless you like cocks." It was a simple thing, the punch, but Austin had put all his weight and anger into it. "Fuck!" Andy shouted as he reeled back from the attack of his younger brother, blood streaming from his nose. "You little cunt, I'm going to fucking kill you!" But Austin was gone and the drummer and bassist blocked the doorway. Austin Decker awoke in a cold sweat; the 15 year old closed his eyes in silent regret at harming his sibling, even if he was more than justified in his action. He hated that part of him, the hurtful aspect of his nature and silently he wished he could take it back. "You okay?" an angelic voice asked next to him. Austin Decker and Olivia Waters were laying side-by-side on the floor of Olivia's finished basement/recording studio. Both of their sleeping bags were undone, due in no small part to the warmer weather of early summer. As was their tradition since the fifth grade, after Olivia's father was first diagnosed with a terminal illness, Austin and Olivia camped out on the floor of the basement, quietly enjoying each other's steadfast friendship. "Yeah, just a bad dream..." Austin replied as he turned over to his side to face his beautiful friend. The two had shared many secrets with one another, many adventures, and much sadness. Olivia knew Austin inside and out; the music he heard, the way songs flowed within him, and the darkest secrets he kept hidden from the world. While she would never admit it, she was, in point of fact, special in her own right; Austin sensed in her a great capacity to endure. "Let me guess, Andy." Olivia hit the mark, as usual. "Yeah..." Austin admitted as he lowered his gaze to the cuff of Olivia's pajama shirt. "I was back in the club and... I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't, honestly." "I know, Austin." Olivia said, "It is not like you to hurt people, even your brother who I would like to hurt from time to time in your stead, but sometimes we hurt the people we care about. Besides, he had it coming. He stole your song, he used you to get into that semi-final competition WHERE, I might add, his band performed your song with a different guitarist to move on to the finals where they were able to launch a relatively decent tour. You can't tell me that doesn't make you the slightest bit pissed off?" Olivia was right. Andy had used Austin; he had used him very well. "It's not that I'm not mad at him..." Austin said as he absentmindedly played with Olivia's cuff, "I guess I am just angry with myself for not figuring it out sooner. I just love music so much... the chance to play in front of so many people... I couldn't... I was selfish." "No you weren't," Olivia said as she gently stroked Austin's hand comfortingly, "you just wanted to share the music, like now. Don't worry. People will hear it and then they will know who the most talented of the Decker boy's is." "I don't care about that." Austin countered, "I could honestly care less if I were to become rich and famous. I just want him to hear it. I want him to hear what I hear and see what I see, so we can be together. I am just afraid I will mess everything up. I can feel the music and it is telling me this isn't going to be easy, that there is going to be a lot of sadness and pain before it is all over, even that I might lose a friend or two along the way if we aren't careful... you're shaking." Olivia hadn't noticed her hand was trembling a bit as it touched Austin. "Sorry," she said pulling her hands away from Austin as she rolled back over onto her back. "I just get a little nervous when you talk about stuff like that, all that `the music said' stuff still kind of freaks me out." Austin rested his weight on his stomach as he stared at Olivia sideways from the floor. He knew being his best friend wasn't easy, but he loved her; he truly did. "Stop giving me that `I love you, buddy' stare, Decker." Olivia said in the way she often did when annoyed by Austin's childishness. "You need your rest, tomorrow is the big day." That's right, Austin thought, tomorrow was the concert... his chance to show Andy. He had to reach his brother, he had to call out and make his brother hear. If Andy could hear what Austin heard, maybe... just maybe, they could be a family again. Austin was caught slightly off guard as Olivia's hand flopped over and hit him on the head. "I do love you, Olivia..." Austin said a bit defensively, but all he heard was quiet snoring. His heterosexual life-mate was asleep. The gear was checked and double checked, the talent show was in less than two hours, and Eddy Winters was going to make sure nothing technical was going to mess up Austin's chance to show his brother the meaning of music. While Eddy had only met Andy Decker a couple times, each time he had gotten the immediate impression the guy was an ass-hole, and each time Eddy had wanted to punch him square in the face for the way he treated his younger brother, Austin. "Now, Mr. Winters," Mr. Malloy, one of the theater teachers said as he supervised the youth, "you be sure not to cross those wires when you are setting up the amplifiers..." "Yes, Mr. M." Eddy replied a little bit annoyed that the man was constantly reminding him, "I promise nothing is going to break or blow-out or explode." He shouldn't have said anything. "You think it could explode?" Mr. Malloy said a little fearfully as he checked over the wires once more. While a good-hearted teacher of theater and the arts, he wasn't as technologically savvy as Eddy, and his ignorance was wearing the youth's patience a bit. However, rather than being short with the man, Eddy took in a deep breath and decided to use his knowledge of electronics to comfort the man. After all, he didn't want anything getting in the way of Austin's chance; he owed the kid too much already. "Sorry, Mr. M." Eddy said with a smile, "I was just kidding about the exploding. Nothing here can explode or even short out with the safety devices they install in these things. Nothing to worry about, promise." Worry washed away, Mr. Malloy observed a moment more before he went to go check on some of the other acts that needed time to prepare. That left Eddy to his own devices, just the way he liked it. Eddy wasn't an antisocial person by nature, just out of circumstance. He tended to think things through more than he peers and this often led him into conflict when dealing with others in his social group. As funny as it was, it was Austin Decker—someone who often didn't think things through at all—that seemed to be the only person within his peer group that he could easily relate to. Maybe it was because the kid was so out there you couldn't logically explain him, or maybe it was because of the way he was able to approach any situation from a unique yet justified point of view, but Eddy Winters found himself valuing Austin's friendship greatly. Smiling to himself a bit as he imagined Austin's reaction to the sound system when they began playing, Eddy secretly knew Austin would only understand and appreciate the excellent quality Eddy was providing him after the fact. During the song there would only be the music, all else was ignored. Maybe that is why Eddy envied Austin, if only in passing; the boy had found something he could truly give himself over to without hesitation or fear. As the time for the talent show to start drew closer and closer, the other members of DJ Orphan began to gather, along with a few other friendly faces to wish them luck. "Hey guys," Dylan said as he, Nolan, and his twin foster-brothers Sam and Max made their way into the back area about twenty minutes before show time, "we just wanted to wish you luck. We are going to be expecting a great performance, so don't disappoint." "Yeah," the twins said in stereo. "Hey," Nolan interjected, "Mr. Richardson brought his camcorder and I told him to save some room in it for your song!" "Thanks, little buddy." Austin smiled at the youth as he ruffled his hair. Feeling much better about their impending performance, Austin and the rest of DJ Orphan chatted with the Richardson boys and Nolan a while longer before they excused themselves to the auditorium. As they existed the backstage area, where a few dozen or so performers were milling about, Austin caught a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. "Hey, bro." Andy said as he approached his younger brother. "Hey, Andy." Austin said half-heartedly, still unsure about how to feel. After a moment, Austin realized Andy was not alone, but rather was being followed by another familiar face. "Hey, kiddo! Long time no see." The former bassist of the Cavalcade of Whimsy said as he reached out a hand to greet Austin. "Hey, Travis." Austin greeted more warmly than he did his brother, "What are you doing here?" Austin could instantly read that Andy was a little pissed off his former band-mate was around and wondered why. "Well..." Travis said a bit nervously as he glanced over to Andy, "I heard you were performing with a band you put together, and I really wanted to hear how you sounded." "Probably like a bunch of high-school students." Andy said off-handedly. Travis seemed to ignore the comment and focused his friendly smile on the band before him. "Well," Travis said innocently, "I happen to know some high-school students that sound very professional; even some junior-high students that could give the pros a run for their money. Right, Austin?" The last part was an obvious reference to Austin's playing back in when he was a part of CW, and it made Austin smile a bit. After a few more moments of introduction to the band, Andy and Travis made their way towards the auditorium for the show. "No offense, dude," Sammy said as he and the rest of DJ Orphan settled in for the long night of performances before they would get their chance to play, ", but your brother was kind of cold. He hate you or something?" "No," came Olivia's reply before Austin could even form a response, "Andy is just an oblivious idiot. It runs in the Decker family.." "Oh," Sammy reflected quietly, realizing he might be stepping on sacred ground, "I see." The rest of the night proceeded relatively quickly for all except Austin Decker. For him, and him alone, each act was an eternity. While DJ Orphan applauded the other musicians, as Kendal laughed at the not so funny jokes of the `stand-up' comedian, and while Olivia periodically checked her reflection in her small mirror, Austin gathered his strength, his energy, and his love. He had the rest of his life to be a normal kid, but for 5 minutes he needed to be a god; a musical deity capable of inspiring his brother, Andy. "Austin," Olivia said again as she nudged him, "I said we're up. You okay?" She looked at her friend and realized she had never seen him like this. He looked pale, his breathing seemed erratic, but his focus was unearthly. This wasn't just a performance; it was a mission of life and death. "I am..." Austin said as he got up and began walking towards the stage. Olivia Waters looked on a few more moments at the person walking onto the stage. A part of it was her friend, Austin, but the majority of it was the force that dwelled inside of him, waiting for its moment to be unleashed upon the world. Seeing the rest of the equipment already set up on stage, Olivia made her way out from the wing of the stage and into view of the crowd; a sea of faces all eagerly awaiting the final performance of the night. A few individuals already seemed to be packing up and making their way towards the doors, but she caught sight of the most important people to Austin. Even in the relative darkness of the auditorium, with lights shining down on them and its uncomfortable heat causing her eyes to squint, Olivia could see Andy and Travis relatively close to the stage. Beyond them she could see the Richardson family, as well as a few of the kids from the center who had showed up to support DJ Orphan as well as other friends that had performed throughout the night. Amongst them, surrounded on either side by adoring teenagers, were a couple of the facilitators from the youth center. Olivia grinned a bit to herself; all the most important people in Austin's life were here to support him, even his brother. The MC presented DJ Orphan to the audience which was met with a few `whoots' from their group of friends, and after a brief pause Olivia looked over towards Austin. She could see he was ready, a track star at his mark waiting for the pistol to go off. Olivia was the pistol. Bang! She thought to herself as she began to play the intro piece to Cannon in D Major on her keyboard. The synthesized orchestra from Olivia's keyboard washed gracefully over the audience from the high-quality sound system Eddy had set up as he in turn joined in Olivia's melody with a simple and exacting guitar accompaniment. While he and Austin would both be playing guitar in the song, his was to offset the unpredictable style of Austin Decker with precise notes to accent the younger boys playing. As Sammy joined him with his deep rhythmic cords and Kendal swooped in with a crescendo on his high-hat, the stage was set for Austin Decker. In one solid jolt the band came together around Austin's guitar as it jumped center stage and the beat took off. A few quick cords and there was no doubt in the mind of any member of DJ Orphan; this would be their greatest session ever. As Austin played his energy was contagious, and Kendal found himself being overwhelmed by a feeling he only felt in the arms of Sammy; a quiet love now made manifest to an audience of hundreds. Focusing himself a bit to keep from rushing his drumming, he looked out to the crowd and after a quick moment could barely contain his surprise. A large looming figure a few seats behind a group of kids from the center was none other than his own dad! With a telltale red light blinking in the darkness of the audience, Kendal felt a quiet tear come to his eye; his dad was here and recording their show. The giant of a man must have taken time off of his work to come and watch the performance. Kendal found himself lifted to new heights which seemed to naturally flow into his playing. Feeling the newfound energy flowing from Kendal, Sammy could see the imposing figure of Kendal's dad in the crowd and immediately guessed what the source of his boyfriend's swelling spirit could be. He smiled a bit to himself, happy for his love, but at the same time a bit saddened his own family failed to show up for his show. As if in answer to his thoughts, Sammy lifted his gaze momentarily to see a dark figure in the even darker shadows of the auditorium; Domino. The man's white smile seemed to pierce the darkness of the auditorium and Sammy couldn't help but be drawn in by his mentor's love. The man wasn't the brightest light in a dark world, but he had managed to still light up an already brilliantly lit stage to an even greater degree of radiance. The lovers were emanating a force of emotion to rival even Austin's seemingly elemental nature as musical bliss escaped his fingers through an ill-made cage of cords. Eddy and Olivia, his steadfast friends provided the support Austin needed to freely roam the world of sound his soul was trying to bleed into the world of the waking. He didn't know if there was air to breathe, he didn't care; he didn't look inside to see if there was anything left to give, he didn't dare. He poured himself out like a decanter of endless life-giving water. The song trailed off a bit during the recovery refrain and Austin felt himself nearly collapse from the strain he was putting on his body. In some part of his mind where he had momentarily placed his thoughts so they wouldn't get in the way of the music he could hear some people in the crowd gasp. As Olivia, Sammy, Kendal, and Eddy all played on while Austin took a few moments to rest, as they had planned, Austin felt himself building back up for the final run. Like a marathon runner at the final turn, Austin Decker felt himself explode with a burst of desperate speed. It was reported by many to be the moment they felt their hearts skip a beat in unison. Throughout the entire performance Andy Decker sat quietly, his mouth agape, and for a full five minutes he felt something he had only felt once when his brother had played at one of their gigs almost two years ago. There was no ego, no fame-seeking, no praise-hunting; Andy Decker felt his heart ache and yearn to be completed by something he knew he would never have. He yearned to connect to something, anything, like his little brother was connecting to music right now. As the song died down, Kendal faded out with a high-hat decrescendo and Sammy fazed himself out as Eddy and Olivia slowly danced their cords around Austin's final farewell to the audience, his guitar speaking volumes. The boy was physically and emotionally exhausted, and as the audience could attest to, his spirit was still resonating in the air of the auditorium when the final cord dissipated. When the band was done, Austin collapsed slightly to the ground, but found the strength to put his guitar back on its stand and stand himself upright. The crowd of students and parents sat momentarily in stunned silence only to erupt in resounding approval of the final performance of the night. Austin and the rest of DJ Orphan had given it there all and the audience had loved every moment of it. As Austin looked out to the audience he saw Travis giving a standing ovation, but in his brother's seat was nothing; Andy was gone. "Fuck." Olivia said quietly as she saw Austin staring at Andy's empty seat. As the crowd continued to roar, Austin Decker leapt down from the stage and began running down an aisle towards the back exit, the cheers of the crowd echoing meaninglessly in his ears. The rest of DJ Orphan remained, knowing this was not their fight. Andy Decker had just reached his car in the school parking lot when he heard the fast approaching footsteps. As he turned around, he caught sight of his little brother a few yards away. Exhausted from his performance and the run straight from the theater, the fifteen year old stopped to catch his breath. Hands on his knees and panting, the teenager looked up at his older brother and his eyes said everything he needed to say. "Austin..." Andy began but in his heart he knew he couldn't say it. For as long as he had known Austin, Andy knew he was special. He had a gift for music, a talent the older brother just couldn't compete with. For all of the hours spent practicing, all of the time spent rehearsing and listening to songs, Andy Decker knew now, more than ever, that he would never come close to touching the greatness of his younger brother. Worse still, he knew Austin could care less about his talent, making money, being famous; he just wanted his big brother, and Andy knew that was something he could not easily give him. "Andy," Austin said a little out of breath, "I know... I know you don't like me... but please... I need to know you love me." Andy Decker was dumbstruck. "Austin, you went through all of this... you did all of this just to see if I love you?" Andy asked a little confused. "I know you don't like that brotherly love stuff, and I know you think I'm gay... but damn it... I... I miss the way things used to be." Austin said simply, "You used to be my big brother and for most of my life I never questioned whether or not you loved me, but when I started getting better than you at playing music... it feels like everything changed. You didn't say anything, but I could feel it... I could feel it because I couldn't feel you anymore. I miss my brother..." Andy let out a sigh and seemed to rub the bridge of his nose as if he was nursing a headache. "Austin," he began, "let's get one thing straight; you never got better than me. You were always better than me." Austin looked at his brother a bit surprised. "Look," he continued, "I know we don't exactly have the best relationship and I know that it is almost entirely my fault, but you are my little brother and I will ALWAYS love you. I guess I just wish..." Andy couldn't continue as the impact into his chest from Austin's hug was too tight. Two guys hugging was kind of gay, but Andy figured so long as someone got hit during the hug, it would be okay. He wrapped his arms around his little brother and something inside of him made him feel like he was fifteen again and had just given his little brother Austin his first guitar. He remembered the hug feeling just as genuine back than as it did now. "You were really good, by the way." Andy said to his little brother. "Thanks Andy," he heard Austin say, "From you, that means everything." The auditorium had mostly cleared out, but a few groups still remained behind talking to one another. Eddy had commissioned Allan and a few of the kids to help him pack up the instruments and equipment he had brought with him, while Olivia seemed to be waiting nervously for Austin to return. Kendal talked excitedly with his father as the giant of a man patiently listened to his son expound on the show and his favorite parts. Sammy waited patiently by his boyfriend as he feigned disinterest but secretly held on to every word. Ahem. A voice cleared behind Sammy and Kendal. Sammy turned around to find his mother and father waiting. "Oh," Sammy said in surprise, "I... I didn't know you guys made it tonight. Weren't you guys busy?" "We had a change of plans." Mr. Connors said as he looked down at his son rather unemotionally. "However, I'm glad we made the end, Samuel." Kendal stifled a laugh at Sammy being called by his full, proper, name. "As I was saying," Mr. Connors said as he critically eyed his son's friend, "I have to say, I was impressed. I wasn't expecting your band to be so... professional. I can't say I still think it is the best use of your time, but I can think of worse." "Thanks?" Sammy half asked. "Yes, well than... I will see you at home?" Mr. Connors asked as he looked around the auditorium, suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable to be around so many unfamiliar faces. "Actually," Mr. Erikson interjected, "Sammy was going to join my son and I for a little celebratory ice-cream, and if it was okay with you, I was going to let Sammy spend the night at our place. He already has school clothes for tomorrow. Of course, that is only if it is alright with you, sir." Able Erikson wasn't one to use intimidation to get what he wanted, but his size certainly helped plead his case to Mr. Connors. With little fuss, Sammy was allowed to spend the night at the Erikson house, and only after the Connors's had said their goodbye's and left did Kendal slip his hand back into Sammy's and sneak a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Mr. Erikson." Sammy said as he blushed a bit from the kiss and the slight embarrassment caused by his parents. "None needed, Sammy." Able replied kindly, "Just goes to show, though, I think your parents still like to think of themselves as involved in your life. Speaking of being an involved parent, I would like to get a photo of the whole band if I could. I think that might look nice on the mantle." "Yeah!" Kendal exclaimed excitedly as he dashed off to round up the stragglers of DJ Orphan. "Hey, Mr. Erikson?" Sammy asked as his boyfriend cheerfully zipped around the auditorium looking for their band-mates, "Can I ask you something?" "You may," Able replied as he took in the sight of his son so happy. "I won't always have an answer, but you may ask." Sammy took in a deep breath. "It's about Kendal." Sammy said flatly, "It's about his... you know... scar. I have this really weird feeling that... I don't know... he says it was an accident, the same accident that killed his biological mom and dad. It wasn't an accident, was it?" Able's gaze seemed to shift a bit to some distant spot in the theater as his eyes became a little less focused on his son. "No." Able replied, "It wasn't an accident." Sammy felt his heart skip a beat. "So, somebody tried to hurt Kendal." He said more in affirmation than question. "Somebody tried to kill Kendal?" "Yes." Able replied sadly. "Did... did they get what was coming to them?" Sammy asked simply but barely above a whisper. Able paused for a moment, just a moment, and his eyes never left that distant scene he was now viewing; a scene from almost ten years ago. "Yes." He confirmed in a coldness that would shake the resolve of the most hardened veteran on the force, but his words didn't seem to faze Sammy. "Good." Was all Sammy had to say and the topic was dropped as both watched as their angel, their perfect treasure, happily collected Eddy, Olivia, and a seemingly refreshed Austin for a group photograph. As all five gathered, Sammy held Kendal extra tight and though he smiled—or smiled as best as a Sammy can—inside he was crying. He didn't know why or how someone, anyone, could willingly harm Kendal, but he knew it had happened and that thought alone made him lose a little faith in the world around him. "So you write smut stories about us?" Nolan asked more than accused, but for Michael Smith the young boy might as well have been standing on the table and pointing a finger at him. For what it was worth, all the kids seemed to be taking it in stride and the one most embarrassed at the small meeting seemed to be Michael. "Yes." The facilitator admitted sheepishly. "Well, not so much smut, per say..." "Okay," Nolan replied, "I'm cool with it." Everyone gave Nolan a weird look. Even Allan who was there more to support Michael than anything else was a little taken back by the twelve year olds' attitude about being portrayed in a nifty archives story. "You sure, Nolan?" Dylan asked a little concerned, "You know fat hairy gay guys probably bate to Mike's stories every night before they go to bed, right?" Michael secretly thought Dylan was giving his stories too much credit, but he quietly accepted the insulting praise. "Eh, whatever; I mean, it's not hurting us, right?" Nolan argued, "Besides... I really liked the story." "Yeah," Kendal piped in, "I do have to say there were some really nice parts to it. I mean with the writing and stuff..." "Well, so long as the people you write about are okay with it, then I guess I don't have any complaints." Dylan admitted. "Besides, Kendal's right, there are some really touching parts, in all of your stories." "I try," Michael said a with a weak smile. "So, what's next?" Nolan asked cheerfully. "I'm not sure..." Michael replied, "but I bet it is going to be fun."