I breathed in hard and looked at him, there was no backing down now, no alcohol to hide behind, this was it. "Lucas … there’s something I need to tell you ……."

"If it’s about Claire, I already know." He said.

About Claire? Hullo, were we on two different wave lengths here. "Aye? About Claire?" I asked confused. This just hit me for six, I had no idea what he was on about now. What about Claire? He knew we were dancing together or what?

"Yeah. Marcel told me about the mix up, she thought you were me that’s why she freaked out right?. Anyway it’s ok now, Marcel set us up for a date tonight. We’re going to the movies. I just wanted to come over and make sure you weren’t stressing over last night, it’s cool man." He replied.

I had to shake myself together, Marcel must have tried to fix everything up. That stupid nice guy, I must have really worried him last night. I couldn’t begin to fathom the amount of defeat I felt, this was just driving the nail into the coffin that was my hope. I looked at Lucas to see any sign that there could still be a chance, I never saw it. I had to start making some hard choices.

This is it Storm, how good a friend are you really? are you going to mess with his head or let him move on. Part of me was saying to just tell him already, but the bigger part told me to give up. Give up, I’d tried to look for the right opportunity, the right signals. But they never came, last night can’t have been Lucas talking, it had to be the alcohol. Give up Storm. You’ve lost him. Give up and move on.

I tried to hide my face as I spoke to Lucas so he wouldn’t see the dead look on my face that I just couldn’t change. "Oh. That’s really great Lucas. I’m happy for you, you deserve something like this. You spend too much time hanging out with me when you could be out wooing the ladies." I tried to sound happy as I spoke but I don’t think it was working. "Now go on. Get out of here Stud."

Boy was I trying hard not to lose it, had to stay in control. "Hey? Everything ok man?" he asked.

"Yeah man everything’s ok, I’m just tired that’s all." I feigned. You know I must be really good at hiding my emotions by now, it seemed like that’s all I ever did any more. "Now get lost so I can go back to sleep." I said pushing him out.

"Hey." I called after him. "Have a good night" I said resigned and defeatedly.

Lucas looked back at me and I think he knew something wasn’t right but he probably put it down to me being tired. "Yeah you too Dude, I’ll be back afterwards ok." He yelled back at me.

I fell back on the cushions and lay there motionless, not moving even when the cold had become unbearable. At this moment, I felt dead and empty inside, hope was a distant memory. I couldn’t even cry, there just didn’t seem any point. I wondered how many other people out there in the world go through what I’ve been through. I hope there aren’t many, because if I had my way I’d rather get hit by a bus instead of this. Defeat is something I don’t give in to much but now it was all I had left. Inside I felt like I’d done the right thing by Lucas, as if I’d finally set him free. But I too needed to be free now, free from the shackles I had put upon myself, free to exist without the constant need pulling at my heart. But I couldn’t do that here, I’ll admit. Simply ignoring Lucas and killing our friendship wouldn’t be enough. The only way to do it is to move on, yes, I have to leave. Give up.

* * * * * * *

Lucas waited excited and nervous at the entrance of the movie complex for Claire to arrive. He saw Marcel with a huge grin on his face helping Claire out of a car and the two of them began walking towards him. ‘Right on time’ Lucas thought to himself. Claire looked great, not too flashy, not too casual, but very beautiful. She didn’t overkill the make up, and didn’t look like a try hard. She saw him and flashed a smile that made Lucas heart skip a few beats. There was definitely something about this girl for sure. Can you say ‘Chemistry’, well that’s what these two had. Lucas was instantly drawn to her eyes, they drew him in like a magnet. "uhh Hi" He smiled.

"Hi Lucas, you look great" She smiled.

"You look pretty great yourself dude, I mean babe, sorry I mean woman ." Lucas replied. They both stared at each other smiling.

"It’s ok I know what you mean, thanks for the compliment … dude." Claire threw a subtle smile at Lucas as she spoke that made his face turned a cherry red, blushing in embarrassment.

Marcel stood waiting to be acknowledged, finally Lucas said hello and Marcel rolled his eyes. He knew Lucas was taken by this girl and was very pleased with himself. He’d managed to work last nights mess out after all. Now Lucas could start dating Claire and spend all his time with her and Marcel would be able to have Storm back as his best friend. Marcel came to the happy conclusion that his job was done, he winked at Lucas wishing him luck and disappeared

Lucas led Claire into the food area, acting the perfect gentleman the whole time, pulling out chairs, opening doors. He bought them both a milkshake and fries while they sat and talked about their different backgrounds and what they liked. He watched the way she slowly swirled her straw around in the milkshake, hypnotically wooing him. Lucas was really starting to like this girl even more than before, she seemed to know how to hit the right buttons. Yet something didn’t feel quite right, something was nagging at him but he couldn’t work out what. Perhaps it was because he was nervous he thought. He tried to focus himself on Claire to stop him from worrying.

"What is it?" Claire asked "You look like you’re on another planet or something."

Lucas tried to shake the feeling off "Oh it’s nothing, I just uhh forgot to do something today."

Phew. That was a good recovery Lucas thought to himself. He still hadn’t quite worked out what was bugging him yet though.

The two of them carried on into the movie theater and sat down as the lights went dark. Lucas and Claire sat there watching the movie, or at least looking like they were watching the movie. Their body language was saying enough, Lucas had managed to get his arm around Claire and they were moving closer together slowly. Claire moved her hand up Lucas chest and held his neck as they turned to face each other. Lucas could feel the moment approaching, he knew what she wanted, and he wanted it too. Yet the nagging feeling wouldn’t go away. He looked at Claire, she pursed her lips and smiled at him seductively, she really was beautiful, she could be the one he thought. Their faces slowly moved together and their eyes made contact……

"Oh my god." Lucas screamed as he jumped back.

Claire looked at him in shock, not knowing what was going on. "What? What is it Lucas?" she asked.

"I… I have to go, I’m sorry." Lucas got out of his chair and threw some money to Claire to pay for her taxi home then he ran out of the theater not looking back.

Claire pulled up her popcorn and sat there eating, in shock and bewilderment "What the fuck is wrong with me?" She cursed under her breath.

* * * * * * *

Lucas jumped out of the Cab as quick as he could, throwing a $20 bill at the driver for a $10 dollar fare. He didn’t have time to worry about Cab fares, there were more important things at stake. He ran up to Storms door, opened it up and couldn’t see anyone inside. He started to panic, what was wrong. "STORM!, STORM!" Lucas yelled.

No response. Lucas ran upstairs as fast as he could and into Storms room, it was empty. "STORM! STORM! WHERE ARE YOU!" he screamed again. Still no response.

He remembered that Storm was in the Tree house before and ran outside, his insides were churning and he was in a state of panic. Something wasn’t right, Storm said he’d be asleep, the house was open, it wasn’t like Storm. Why wasn’t he here? Lucas opened the back door and ran towards the tree yelling as he went. He rushed up the tree and jumped inside. Nothing.

"Storm, where are you." Lucas said to himself in desperation.

Lucas climbed back down and went inside, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to think. He should have known something was wrong by the way Storm was acting, it just wasn’t like Storm.

Lucas sat down at the table and lay his head in his arms, he felt so confused. Lucas was so frustrated, he needed Storm, he needed to see him now, to make sure he was ok. Lucas knew now why Storm was so distant and didn’t want to be near him, Storm knows Lucas is in love with him. Lucas memory of the night before came flooding back and he remembered pouring his heart out to Storm. "What have I done!" Lucas screamed.

Lucas sat there sulking, he’d screwed it up, he’d screwed it all up. Now he wouldn’t have Storms friendship. But where was he! Why wasn’t he here Lucas thought. Lucas hoped he hadn’t driven Storm over the edge. He got up to leave and noticed a message on the refrigerator in Storms handwriting. Lucas picked it up to read, it was smudged as if it had been wet somehow. "Oh my god, please be ok Storm." Lucas said to himself. he started reading the note.

Mom,

I'm catching the train to stay with Abby for awhile
Sorry I didn't tell you I just needed to get away and think
Please don't worry or be angry
I'll call you soon I promise
Oh and I cleaned my room and did all my chores
Don’t tell anyone where I’ve gone please, especially not Lucas

I love you
Storm

"What does that mean?" Lucas whispered. "Does he hate me that much now"

Lucas was angry at himself, he’d driven Storm away. He had to try and get Storm back, he had to make him understand it was a mistake and he never meant it. Lucas put the note in his pocket, he had to try the train station, if he was too late he’d have to go to Abbys. He looked through Storms Moms contact book and found Abbys address. "Got it" Lucas smiled to himself.

* * * * * * *

I stood on the platform waiting for my train to arrive, it shouldn’t be too long now. I knew what I had to do, I had to get away, I had to clear my head. I thought about what would happen if I were to disappear and never come back. I’m not sure whether I could handle coming back now. Damn, where the hell is this train. I moved closer to the edge of platform so I could step straight in the train when it arrived to take me to my sanctuary. I couldn’t help thinking about how lucky Claire was, to be so intimate with the person I loved. One date and she would already have what I had been longing for since I first met Lucas. I resented her for being so lucky. Perhaps they were sharing a joke, exchanging smiling glances, maybe even a kiss. Thinking about it only made me feel worse. Maybe I was choosing a good time to leave, the thought of watching him with someone else just wasn’t something I could handle.

I stood there wondering how Lucas date was going when I was sure I heard his voice, must be my imagination. I stood there contemplating my future and still I heard his voice. I must be totally obsessed with him, I’m starting to hear his voice. I tried to shake the voice out of my head. But still I could hear him, I raised my head just to see if maybe I wasn’t going completely mental. "Oh my god" I mouthed to myself.

There he stood, on the opposite platform waving at me, I thought I was dreaming. I couldn’t make out what he was saying but it looked like he was motioning me to go to him. No, I can’t, he’ll just try and talk me out of this, what the hell was he doing here anyway. I had to make my choice now, I knew he could give me a quick fix of happiness with his smile and friendship but I couldn’t handle that. I’d made my choice. I looked at him unflinching without saying anything, I think he knew what I’d decided. He must have remembered last night, I definitely can’t face him now, what will he think of me. I noticed in the distance the train approaching, not long now I thought. I looked at Lucas one last time, one last memory to keep with me. He looked back at me longingly as if he knew I were going. It seemed as if his eyes were pleading with me to stay. Maybe he did love me, should I risk humiliation? His eyes didn’t leave me as the train pulled in between us. I had to make my choice, this was it, stay or go.

Stay. I ran up the ramp way to cross the over bridge between the two platforms. The train pulled away and I waved it good bye. I could see Lucas down below staring at the platform I was standing on before in disbelief. He must have thought I left. I ran across the bridge and down towards his platform, I don’t know what had come over me, I wasn’t as nervous anymore. I came up out of the ramp and saw he was still standing in the same place looking at the same platform. He was fixed and unmoving, still looking on in shock. I hoped I wasn’t setting myself up for another fall, I was so good at those already. I walked up behind him slowly.

"Hey" I said softly.

Lucas turned around and looked at me in shock "STORM!" he said in surprise.

I smiled back at him. He seemed really happy to see me. I don’t know why I was so confident now, I didn’t feel nervous anymore. "I hope you have a good reason for making me miss my train" I said smiling.

"Why are you leaving dude?" Lucas asked. ‘umm because I love you but I can’t stand being around you and not have you’ hmm no, can’t say that.

"That’s not a reason." I replied. "What are you doing here? How did you know I was going? And more importantly why aren’t you on your date?" That should keep him distracted for a bit. Lucas didn’t look like he knew what to say. Lucas looked confused, I wasn’t sure if I should be pressing him with questions.

"Because I remembered. I was on my date with Claire, and I was about to kiss her. And I saw your face and remembered last night. I knew that was why you were being distant. Then I went back to your house to talk to you and you weren’t there. And I looked in your room and you weren’t there. And I looked in the Tree House and you weren’t there either. I was scared something had happened to you, that you were going to do something crazy. Then I saw your note and that you were leaving and didn’t want me to know. And I had to come and stop you before you left!" Lucas was talking so fast I was having trouble keeping up with him.

"Uhh not really the answer I was looking for. What exactly do you remember?" I asked.

Lucas looked nervous "I… I… I remember telling you that .. I …I.." he started saying, he was having trouble speaking. His face was going all red and he looked like he was going to pass out again so I sat him down. He must have felt guilty, maybe he didn’t know I was in love with him.

"Look Lucas, you were drunk, you weren’t thinking straight. Nothing happened. And I’m not going to tell anyone. So just chill man." I said reassuringly. I don’t think he expected the kind of reply I gave him. He looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and it seemed as if he was trying to read my own to see what I was thinking. Can’t have that now can we. I turned away from him and pretended I was looking at the trains coming in.

"Then why are you leaving Storm, and why didn’t you want me to know?" he asked. Ok what do I do. Somebody please tell me what to do. How do I get out of this one people. I didn’t know what to say, I just stood there dumbfounded.

Lucas eyes went wide, I think he worked it out for himself. Uh oh. He looked at me eyes still wide with disbelief. I panicked, I started backing away from him. All of a sudden I became very scared and frightened. I kept backing away from him not paying attention to where I was walking. "Look, another Train will be here soon, I’ll take that one. I promise I won’t tell anyone, you don’t have to worry. You’ll never see me again I promise. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry." I said shakily.

I turned to run and realized I was standing right on the edge of the platform. I tried to regain my balance, it didn’t work. I began to fall but Lucas pulled me back just in time. I stood there in shock staring at the platform as a Train sped past, that was too close. I can’t believe I was so close to dying. I turned to see Lucas who looked just as shocked as me, I was still frightened, I’m not sure why but I was paralyzed with fear. "I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll leave now, just go. Forget about me. I won’t tell anyone I promise." I said as I turned and ran.

I was scared shitless, visibly shaking and trembling. I couldn’t think straight, I’d never been so frightened in my life. I felt weak in the knees, everything was making me dizzy. I had to get away though, I had to ….

I didn’t make it very far, I made it around the corner when Lucas flipped me around and pinned me up against the wall. I couldn’t move, he had me and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t even put up a fight if I wanted to in the state I was in. I was so frightened, I looked at Lucas with complete and utter fear in my eyes. "Please don’t hurt me, I won’t tell anyone I promise. Just let me go and you’ll never see me again, you won’t have to worry about anyone finding out. Please let me go." I pleaded. I had to get away, I had to get free, but I felt so helpless and weak. I couldn’t control myself anymore and tears started streaming down my eyes as I began sobbing uncontrollably. "Pleeaassee.. let me gooooo" I sobbed. 

"NO!!!" Lucas yelled. "STOP IT! Why do you think I’m going to hurt you. I won’t hurt you I promise. Storm please don’t be scared, it’s killing me."

"I.. I have to go now. Just let me go please." I begged. I couldn’t think straight, the only certainty was that now he knew, and I had to get away. I tried to slowly move away from him. Lucas pushed me back up against the wall and wouldn’t let go.

"NO!" Lucas yelled even louder and more adamant this time. "Damnit Storm, I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here with me. I’m not going to let you go, I’m not losing you!"

I started getting a bit more composure "No Lucas, I can’t, not now. Too much has happened. I need to go, I can’t be near you anymore. It hurts too much" I said. No point in sugarcoating anything now, he knew the truth. I lifted my head up to look at him, he was the one crying now, sobbing heavily but he still wouldn’t budge.

"Storm. Please don’t leave me. I love you. Please don’t go" he pleaded. I was waiting for the ‘as a friend’ part I was so used to.

"I know, as a friend. I can’t live like that." I said.

"No it’s more than that, I LOVE YOU! don’t you get it. I meant what I said last night. You’re more than my friend, you’re my soul mate. Storm I need you, you’re a part of me. Please don’t go." He pleaded again.

"You’re just saying that to get me to stay, you don’t know what you’re saying." I said. I had longed for his love so long I wasn’t going to believe so easily.

"Why won’t you believe me?" he pleaded, he eyes were so sad and he looked as if he had failed somehow. "what do I have to do, haven’t I shown that I love you by the way I treat you. The only reason I didn’t tell you is because I was afraid I’d lose you. But now I know you love me too, nothing can stop us." He said.

Oh my god. He loves me. I can’t believe it. I’m going to wake up any second now I know it. "You. You love me? You’re not just saying that?" I asked. I think I must be in denial, I’ve been so used to getting my hopes up and being rejected I was having a hard time dealing with the fact he actually loves me. I looked at him in disbelief, I was in total shock. I couldn’t believe it, it was too good to be true. Something’s going to happen I just know it, I can’t get this lucky.

Lucas took his hand off my shoulder and nervously took my own hand. I could tell he was as nervous as I was, my heart was beating a hundred miles an hour. He gently guided my hand up under his shirt, I was shaking so much I couldn’t believe it. I could feel his smooth skin under my fingers, he slowly guided my hand up further and further until it was over his heart. Then he held it there, my hand on his heart, his fingers interlaced with my own. I could feel his heart beating so fast under my hand. I was having trouble breathing, this was too far out. "Can you feel my heart beating?" he asked.

I simply nodded yes in reply, I couldn’t even speak. "Then I love you. Now please, stay with me?" he begged.

I nodded again, I still couldn’t form a word. Lucas pulled me close to him and held me there while I came to grips with what was happening. Eventually I loosened up and started wrapping my arms around him to join the embrace. I let my hands slide up his back and pulled him closer to me, he was finally mine, I could be with him, look at him, touch him, and not have to hide the way I felt. I would have been happy to just stay in that embrace forever, resting my head on his shoulder and feeling his warmth next to me till the sun burnt out. I didn’t want to let go.