Disclaimer: This story has homosexual bits in it. [guy on guy] If that makes it illegal for you, it ain't my problem. Your loss.
If it offends you, you've got problems, again, it's not my problem.
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Thank you and enjoy the story!
Miss you love
But I'm not too sure how I'm suppose to feel
or what I'm suppose to say, but
I'm not, not sure, not too sure how it feels
to handle every day.
And I miss you love.
"So did you?" he asked, his lips forming a smile that grew wider with every second.
"No!" I exclaimed completely shocked. "How could you even think about such a thing?!" I covered my cheeks with both of my hands in shock.
"Dude, you're almost 17, I think it's about time you let someone kiss you." Jay laughed, tossing a pillow at my direction, but missed me. Just when I was about to turn to face him, I saw him flying at me with the speed of light as he knocked me down on the bed. As I tried to keep an angry face, I giggled quietly. His black hair brushed my face as he rolled off. He lay down next to me and we stared at the celling together for a few moments. Our giggles stopped after a while, and he let out a loud sigh.
"Man you suck. I'm telling you, it's no big deal." he kept pushing.
I closed my eyes and now it was my turn to sigh softly. "We talked about this before." I calmly said, barely above a whisper. There was no reason to get upset, because I knew Jay understood.
"If you wanna wait, then wait. But seriously, if I were gay, I'd fuck your ass a long, long time ago." He rolled off the bed laughing before I got the chance to slap him. "Shush!" I giggled. I grabbed a pillow closest to me and hugged it tightly. He sat up on the bed and moved around a bit to get comfy. He reached to the table and grabbed one of the fresh baked blueberry cookies. He shoved it in his mouth, ignoring the amazing size of the cookie.
"You should be a model." he mumbled, trying to keep the crumbles from falling out of his mouth and on my clean bed that smelled like roses.
I rolled my eyes and smiled, probably blushing slightly. Whenever I was with him, compliments would rain. Jay is the best when it comes to such things. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met. The girl that will own his heart will be the luckiest girl on earth. But all that is just a plus to the big thing.
The big thing, the thing that meant a lot to me, was the fact that he accepted me the way I was, and not a lot of people did that. He loved me.. For who I was. He didn't try to change me.
I closed my eyes for a few seconds and enjoyed the funny feeling that went through my whole body, from my toes right up to the top of my head and the tip of my tongue, and warmed up my heart.
My name is Yoru Kobayashi. I'm japanese, but my family and I moved to the US when I was still a little kid. Though I wish I could remember the days spent in my country, I don't. I hope to go visit Japan one day, and maybe bring back some memories. But I'm not complaining. I like it here, too. My life is nice.
I'm 16 years old. My birthday is on May 17. Jays birthday is on May 20, so we always have a party together, which is great, because it means more people will be there, and you have to get twice as drunk.
I'm 172cms tall, which is actually tall for a japanese boy. I weight 52 kgs. I'm not underweight, and I don't look underweight. I'm thin, and I like it that way. I don't starve myself until I can barely walk, and I don't throw up until my throat bleeds and my teeth turn yellow. I simply live healthy. The japanese food is the healthiest food in the world, my mother says, and many have proven this to be a true fact. Only 3% of the japanese population is overweight. We are one of the healthiest nations in the world. I'm also a vegetarian, which my mother isn't too happy about, but it's usually not a problem, because the only meat the rest of my family usually eats is fish and chicken. My mother is the best cook in the world, and I'm not so bad myself. I don't diet and I don't eat fast food. I respect food and I respect my body.
I wear make-up, which you might think could cause me trouble at first, but it doesn't. One of the reasons is probably because the jocks have plenty of emos to pick on, and two would be, because I can actually put on make up, without ending up looking like a cheap mall goth.
I believe fashion, the way someone looks, does their hair or dresses, can say a lot about the person, and it's a great way of telling the world what you think. It doesn't
necessarily mean you have to be a billionaire, and spend thousands of dollars on expensive clothes or hair products. You just have to be creative and know how to wear it. I can't say exactly what my style is, because it changes depending on my mood. I almost always wear platforms, the bigger the better, and it's almost as if it's hard for me to walk in normal shoes. Sometimes, especially in the summer, I wear skirts. Now, that is something the jocks would choose over emos, but most of the time I'm lucky enough that either they don't see me, or they think I'm a girl who just wasn't blessed with big boobs. My hair is fairly long, naturally black, and even though I would love to change it to many different colors, I try not to, because I know what that does to your hair. I only dye parts of my hair red. Treat your hair with respect, they are part of your body, a part of you.
I live in a house with my mother, Chinatsu, my father Hiroshi, and my 12 year old brother, Hizumi. We get along well, although my father and I haven't spoken much ever since the day I told them about my sexuality...
"No, mum, don't worry, it's not bad news, I promise." I calmed her down when she saw my worried face. Mum, dad and Hizu sat down on the couch. My parents were both staring at me, wondering what could a 14 year old boy possibly be so serious about. Hizu was playing with his plastic dinosaurs without a worry, ignoring real life around him.
"Hizu, please pay attention, it won't take long." I asked him nicely, and he gave me a puzzled look. He put the dinosaurs on the table and sat back.
Now, when they were all there, sitting in front of me, looking at me, waiting for the moment of truth to come, I suddenly felt more afraid than I ever was in my life. I felt naked. I knew the words wouldn't come out as easily as they did when I practiced in front of the mirror. I took a deep breath, and look in their eyes. I could see my mother was worried sick, ready to jump on her feet and take me to the hospital. My father had a serious look on his face, also sensing something serious is coming. Hizumis young happy face was still without a worry, glancing at the two dinosaurs on the table from time to time, hoping the end is near.
This is it, Yoru.I thought to myself. This is it.
"Mother. Father. Hizumi." I spoke in japanese, gaining all of the strength I had, trying to sound strong. Trying to sound like a man. "I'm gay."
I guess you're probably wondering how come I've never kissed anyone before. That's hard to explain. Most of the things going on in my head are hard to explain.
I've had two boyfriends, but they both got tired of waiting for one lousy kiss pretty fast.
Face it, fags wanna get laid, Jay always says. If that's that, and it probably is, I hope no one ever touches my lips with theirs. I just might look like a cheap whore from time to time, but I'm sure as hell not one.
A kiss is a sign of love. It's not jacking off. It's not sex. It's telling someone This is it. Now I know. I love you. You have a place in my heart forever. Taste my love.
I've never felt that way towards no one, ever, which means I'm not ready yet. Being ready doesn't mean Oh, good, you brought a condom. You have to feel it in your heart.
And not only that. Besides the fact that I don't want to just kiss anyone, anytime, anywhere.. I want my kisses to be special. I don't want anyone taking my body for granted. The person who will deserve my kiss will be the person who will love me even if I won't give him one. Someone who won't care about that, as long as he can be with me.
It might take forever for me to find that person, but that's my plan and a promise to myself. And I keep my promises.
"Yoru? What are you dreaming about again?"
"Sorry.." I sat up and looked at Jay "Do you think I'll ever meet the right guy?"
I wasn't feeling down, or worried, it was meant as a totally random question, but yet my voice broke in the end and I closed my eyes. This was my own burden, and I shouldn't constantly be throwing it at Jay to hold. I chose this path and I should walk it by myself.
"Why would you want a boyfriend when you have me?" Jay winked, and when he saw I wasn't laughing, he moved closed to me and added softly "Of course you will, Yoru. You'll get the perfect boy you deserve."