This story is dedicated to John and Ryan. They showed us that through no matter what, love will prevail. Through thick and thin they stood by each other. Never once swaying from their love for each other. May you both continue to live happily and let you love flourish.
John looked at the clock; at every stroke of the clock the antagonizing pressure in his bladder grew. "Fuck another ten minutes." He thought. Looking down at his book, he tried to ignore the ever growing pressure. John sighed with relief when the bell finally rang; dismissing them for lunch. As fast as he could he gathered his notebook and math book, he piled them into his backpack and ran out the door.
The hallways echoed with the many different conversations going on at once, John made his way among the crowd of students grabbing their things out of their locker before going to the cafeteria. John pushed people aside as he made it to the door of the restroom. "Thank God." John thought to himself, seeing the restroom empty. Letting out a sigh of relief, John relieved himself in the nearest urinal.
John was so relieved that the pressure in his bladder was slowly being released, that he did not hear the door open and someone enter and walk over to the urinals. John looked over and saw Ryan, a guy he recognized from a few of his classes. Ryan took the urinal directly next to him, turning his head towards John he said, "Hey."
"Hey, Ryan." John politely replied, turning his head to look at Ryan. As soon as their eyes met, John felt something come over him. A feeling he never felt before. Suddenly he felt the heat radiating off his face like a furnace as his face started to redden. He quickly broke the gaze and looked at the wall ahead of him. "What the fuck?" He thought. John took a deep breath as quiet as he could and then finished up and walked over to the sink.
"Do you think we will have another quiz in Jensen's class again?" Said a cool deep voice behind him, sending a chill down his spine.
"I hope not." John replied looking over at Ryan. He never noticed how good looking he was. The light pink Volcom shirt he was wearing contrasted well with his honey colored eyes. His brown hair was almost always styled perfect; not a flaw in it. Apparently he noticed John was staring, "John? You ok?" he said flashing his pearly whites.
"Huh? Oh yeah. Sorry I..I uhh zoned out for a second. Bad night sleep." He lied.
"Oh. Well try to get some sleep tonight." He said, turning around to leave. "I will see you around."
As he was walking out, John noticed how cute his butt looked in his tight pants. Turning towards the mirror, he looked at the reflection. "What the fuck is wrong with me? What are these feelings? Am I...no I can't be gay." Taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the sudden upset stomach, John made his way out of the bathroom to the cafeteria.
When he arrived at the outdoor cafeteria, students were busily eating and chatting with friends. Scanning the lunch table, he found his regular set of friends, waved and made his way through the crowds to his friends. Setting down his books, he told his friends that he was quickly going to grab a slice of pizza and turned towards the lunch line.
Approaching the line, he saw that there were only five people in front of him. "Not bad at all." He thought. He stood behind two girls that were engrossed in their conversation about who the cutest boy at school was. John listened for a second before replaying the scenario in the bathroom again. "What was it about Ryan? What was this that I was feeling?" He thought. With every thought, he felt more and more scared. His stomach was churning inside him. He just could not be gay.
John was so deep in thought that he did not even notice someone walk up behind him and line and say hi. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump. "What the fuck?' He yelled, anger boiling in him. Quickly he turned around and as soon as he stared right into those honey colored eyes and felt the anger melt off him. "Oh hey. Sorry." He said sheepishly.
"Sorry John. I didn't mean to scare you." Ryan said, smiling.
"No. It's ok. It was my fault." John answered. "God I hate that smile." He thought, "It's so perfect."
"So. Funny we meet again. Almost like something wants us to bump into one another."
"Yeah. True." John answered, thinking about what Ryan said. They never really see each other that often; just in Mr. Jensen's history class. But even in there, they rarely spoke. They both had a different crowd of people they hung out. John had his friends and Ryan...well he really did not know much about Ryan. Something inside of him told him that he should. "So, what class do you have next?"
"Algebra with Mrs. Cutler. You?"
"Smith for science."
"Aww I hate Smith. He is such a jerk!" Ryan said.
The two of them made small talk about classes waiting for the line to move, after ordering John turned to Ryan and asked, "Hey. Since you say we are fated to see each other again, how about you join me for lunch?"
"I would love that." Ryan said, smiling that smile that took John's breath away. He had a sudden dangerous urge to reach out and slide his fingertips over Ryan's soft cheeks. "OK. I need to stop this. I am NOT gay." He thought, trying to push his urge to the back of his mind.
The two of them walked towards the table, where John's friends were waiting. John introduced Ryan to all his friends. Thankfully they seemed to get along with him and no one thought anything of it when John brought him over. The last thing he needed was people trying to snoop around; trying to insinuate something that was nothing. Or was it?
While Ryan was talking to Jessica, John was lost in admiration for Ryan. His voice sounded heavenly and whenever he let out a laugh, John's heart skipped a beat. John noticed that whenever a gush of wind would blow by, it would slightly lift Ryan's perfect hair; it looked like it was right out of some model photo shoot. As Ryan lifted a can of soda to his lips, John noticed his bicep stretch the fabric of his shirt, wanting to be freed of its confinement. "God. I wonder what he looks like shirtless. Those perfect arms must look even better." He though. "Wait. What? NO. Stop thinking gay."
John was so wrapped up in his own thoughts and admiring Ryan he did not hear the bell ring. Not until he heard that heavenly voice again. "Hey. John. We better get to class. You know how Jensen is."
John looked around and noticed that most students had already filed off to class. As Ryan stood, a gust of wind blew the bottom of his shirt up to reveal his toned stomach. John could not help but stare, when he saw Ryan looking down at him, he was lost again in those deep pools of ember. "We better go." John managed to say, trying so hard to keep his voice steady.
The two of them walked to class. Sadly they sat on opposite sides of the room and John was not able to sneak many glimpses at Ryan. Mr. Jensen announced that there was going to be a pop quiz; not to either of the boy's surprise. The quiz was relatively easy and John finished quickly. Letting his mind wonder, images of Ryan came back. How badly John wanted to reach out and kiss those soft lips, letting his fingertips caress over Ryan's cheek as they kissed. How much he wanted to run his hand up and down Ryan's shirtless body. Trace the muscles that formed Ryan's arms. But as quickly as these images came, new ones came up. "What if he knows I am thinking about him? Had he already noticed I was staring? What did this even mean? Am I gay? Could I ever accept that, that I might be gay?"
Again his thoughts were interrupted, this time by the ring of the bell, signaling the end of class. After turning in his paper, John looked around for Ryan but he was already gone. Not seeing Ryan left John with a sense of loneliness; as if something was missing. Feeling dejected, John walked to his next class.
The rest of the day went by faster than John expected. As the last bell rang, John grabbed his stuff and pushed his way through the masses to get to his locker. After grabbing his things he made his way to the school parking lot. He groaned when he saw the long line of cars waiting to exit the school premises. Walking to his car, John saw his little brother running up to him.
"Hey Mattie." John said.
"Hey John." His brother answered.
"How was school?" He asked, as both got into the car.
"Ok. Our stupid math teacher gave us a fucking lot of homework."
"Matt. Language. I swear Mom already blame me for teaching you these words."
"Whatever, John. You cuss too. And you know I am not going to in front of Mom."
"Haha. True." John said, backing up and pulling into his spot in the line to exit.
The rest of the way home, John and Matt talked about school and random stuff. The ride home was not long, and within fifteen minutes John bulled up to his house.
"Hey John. Wanna play some video games?" Matt asked, getting out of the car.
"Naw sport. I got stuff to do."
"Please John. We never hang out anymore. Please." Matt said, trying to make his best puppy dog face at John.
"Fine. Prepare to loose."
The two went into the empty house and turned on the PS3 and started a game. An hour or so into it. John heard the garage door opening and a few moments later the door leading to the garage door opening.
"Hey you two." A women with long black hair said, putting her briefcase on the table in the kitchen. "How was school?"
"Good Mom." Both boys answered in unison.
"Now I hope you two are planning to start your homework before your father gets home." She said walking into TV room to kiss her sons.
"Yes Mom. We were just about to." Matt said.
"Good dear. Dinner will be ready in an hour."
Putting away their controllers, the two of them grabbed their backpacks off the couch and ran upstairs to their rooms. John was about to start his history reading when he heard a knock at his door.
"Come in." He said, looking towards the door.
"Hey. Sorry to bother you but I..I need your advice on something."
"Yeah. Sure. What's up?"
"Do you remember Sammy?"
"Yeah. The girl you have been seeing?"
"Sorta. Well, were kind of dating. But she wants to have sex."
"Oh. Haha. Do you want to? Do you feel ready?"
"Yea. I think."
"Well, I cannot tell you what to do, but all I can say is be careful."
The two of them talked for a bit about what Matt should do. And their past relationships. An hour passed before they heard their mom call them for dinner.
"Thanks, John. You really are the best brother anyone could have." Matt said getting up and hugging his brother before heading down for dinner. John followed.
"Hey Dad." John said, sitting at the dinner table.
"Hey son. What is new?" John's dad responded, looking up from the TV.
"Nothing. How is work?"
"Good." He said, intently watching the news. The reporter was covering the issue of same sex marriage. "God damn fucking faggots. Think they should have special treatment!" He muttered.
"Dave. Watch your language!" John's mother scolded.
"Sorry honey. But these queers sicken me." He said, slightly infuriated. Hearing those words, John felt a sickening feeling in his stomach. "What if I was gay? They would hate me." He thought.
"Dave, turn that off and have a seat."
Dave turned off the TV and walked over to take his seat at the head of the table. Dinner went as usual, conversations about work and school and the news; nothing out of the ordinary. After dinner John went back upstairs and continued his homework.
After a while, he felt that usual urge as hormones rushed through his body: he was feeling horny. He tried to ignore it and focus on his homework, but blood was quickly leaving his brain and rushing to his hardening cock. John reached down and slid his hands over his jeans, feeling his hard member rub against the captivity of his jeans. John let out a moan and undid his jeans and pulled down his jeans and underwear. Walking over to the bed, he took off his shirt and dropped them next to his pants and underwear and got on the bed. Tracing the length of his seven inch cock with his fingertips, he let out another stifled moan. Wrapping his hand around the base of his cock, John started to slowly jack off. With his other hand, he slowly started to rub his chest and nipples. Lightly pinching them as he started to quicken his pace. John closed his eyes and he tried to focus on some of the hot girls at school or the girls he saw in porn, but all he could think about was Ryan. He saw Ryan walk over to his bed naked, his leg muscles rippling with every movement. His hard cock dripping with precum as he stepped closer and closer to John, until he was only inches from John. Ryan leaned down and got on top of John, his bare skin touching John's. "I know this is what you want." Ryan whispered before he broke the minimal distance between their lips, and John felt a spark of electricity shoot through his body the moment he touched those soft lips. He felt Ryan's tongue at his lips, which he quickly parted to allow Ryan entry in his mouth. With one hand John traced Ryan's spin down to his muscular ass. The other hand playing with the hair on the back of Ryan's head; pulling him in closer. Thrusting his hips up and down he could feel Ryan's rock hard cock grinding against his own, being glued together by a mixture of both their precum.
John felt the all too familiar feeling of his orgasm coming closer. He jacked his cock harder, moving his hips up and down as he saw himself forcing his cock against Ryan's. He slid both his hands down Ryan's back and pulled his hips down as hard as he could as he started to cum. Letting out a moan, he felt the cum explode out his throbbing cock.
After he felt the last effects of his orgasm, John opened his eyes and looked down at his body. Cum covered his stomach, slowly running down the sides of his body. His cock and hand was covered with cum as well. John wondered and licked his lips right before bringing his cum covered hand closer to his face. "I wonder what it tastes like." He thought and slowly stuck out his tongue and lifted a big sticky glob of white cum and swallowed. He was in heaven as the white nectar slid down his throat. He quickly started licking up whatever he could. "If this is what mine tastes like, I wonder what Ryan's tastes like." He thought.
Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. This was wrong. He can't be gay. What would Matt think. Or his parents. He heard what his dad had said. What would he say if he found out his son was a faggot as he put it. "I need to end this." John said to himself, as he felt warm tears stinging his face. Closing his eyes, he tried to hold back the tears, but he just couldn't. The struggle of how he felt and who he might be was too much.
John was awoken by heavy rains thundering against the roof. He felt miserable; his eyes were red and puffy and there were streaks of dried tears down his cheeks. His whole body ached from crying so much. Slowly, summoning up all the strength he had in him, he got out of bed and trudged over to the restroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, John saw just how bad his eyes looked. He turned on the faucet and splashed some cool water on his face, trying to clean up the streaks. He then brushed his teeth and did his normal routine, getting ready for school.
"Morning honey." His mom told him as he descended the stairs walking into the kitchen.
"Morning Mom." He answered kissing her on the cheek, then walking towards the table.
"Hey Big guy." He said, ruffling Matt's hair.
"Stop that. You know I hate that. I'm not 4 anymore." He said trying to fix his hair.
"Haha, I know. But you're still my lil' bro so get used to it."
"Whatever." He said rolling his eyes.
John and Matt ate breakfast quickly
and then were out the door. Heavy clouds were ominously creeping towards them
from the distance, creating a wave of darkness as they crept nearer. As they were getting into his car, John
looked up at the sky and thought, "Only
As John pulled into his parking spot, rain started to pour from the dark sky. "Fuck!" Matt yelled, as he got out of the car. The two of them ran across the parking lot as fast as they could go, trying desperately to stay as dry as possible. Matt saw a few of his friends by another building and ran towards them, while John headed towards the main building. As he reached the main building, he heard someone yell out his name. He looked around until he saw a drenched figure come running towards him in the far end of the parking lot. John squinted his eyes trying to see who that figure was, but the dark clouds and heavy downpour made it impossible to see anything at a distance. Suddenly a burst of lightening erupted across the sky, lighting up the whole parking lot for a second; long enough for John to see who was coming towards him. A few moments later, a drenched Ryan reached John.
"Dude, Ryan you're soaked." John said, realizing that Ryan did not have a sweater or jacket over his shirt.
"Yeah. I forgot my jacket at home. I was running late."
John couldn't help but notice how amazingly good looking Ryan looked as water trickled down his hair over his face, slowly dripping off his cheek. Ryan's shirt stuck to his chest, showing off his pecs and hard nipples.
The urge of wanting to slide his hand slowly over Ryan's chest and feel the ripples of his abs was driving John insane. It was like a habit he knew would be near impossible to break.
"I really hate this weather. Look at my hair!" Ryan said pointing at his hair, that normally would have been styled without a flaw was now nothing more than a dripping brown mess.
"I am sorry." John said, trying to conceal the smirk on his face. "Still looks good."
"Oh. Whatever." He said, rolling his eyes. "So anyway what's new?"
"Nothing really. You?"
"Same. Not a thing other than school."
After of a moment of silence Ryan said "Well I better go."
"Oh yeah." John said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice, "Wait. Listen."
"Nevermind. See you in Jensen's." John said. For some reason he could not ask Ryan if he wanted to come over after school. Something in the back of his head was telling him it would be a really bad idea.
"Oh. Ok." Ryan said. John couldn't help but notice a hint of sadness in Ryan's voice. Ryan gave John one quick smile then turned around and walked to his locker.
Walking to his locker, many different thoughts were running through his mind. "What am I doing? I can invite him over. He is JUST a friend. What could possibly happen?" The sudden loud ring of the bell, knocked him out of his trance and he hurriedly grabbed his things from his locker and ran down the emptying hall to his class. Looking down at his book, the words started to blur as John's mind started to wander; all John could do was think about Ryan and how he was being mean to him; he was a friend after all. He decided that during lunch he would ask him over. John looked at the clock; three more hours until lunch. Nervously he tapped his pencil on his notebook, watching the clock tick by ever so slowly. "Why am I so nervous?" He thought.
His first class seemed to go by so slowly, but finally the bell rang; releasing him to his next class: the last class before lunch. Throwing his notebook and textbook into his backpack, John quickly walked across the hall to his English class. As soon as his teacher started her lecture, the thoughts of Ryan were back. Glancing at the clock every five minutes, John tried to push back the thoughts of Ryan and opened A Tale of Two Cities. "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times...what if he really isn't my friend or thinks it's weird that I am inviting him over? What if I try something and he freaks out?" John thought.
After an antagonizing hour and a half, the lunch bell finally sounded. As soon has John heard the deep ring, the nervous feelings were rushing back through his veins, making it hard for him to breathe. Beating faster with every arduous breath, his heart felt as it was about to rupture out his chest. After getting his things out of his locker, John made his way towards the crowded outdoor cafeteria. Feeling lightheaded, John frantically tried Ryan. He scanned the lunch area, but he was nowhere to be found. John saw a hand being raised and motion for him to come over. It was his friend Beth, who along with all his other friends were sitting in the corner. Gathering all his strength, he walked over to them and pretended nothing was the matter with him. Throughout the whole conversation with his friends, John's eyes darted around the room trying to find Ryan; but sadly he was nowhere to be found.
The bell rang-and not a minute too soon, John was getting antsy and was really not in the mood to talk to his friends. Saying goodbye to his friends, John rushed to his next class. Never had he ever been excited to go to Jensen's class, but this time he was. He was anxious and excited to see Ryan. That is if he shows up. He thought.
John was one of the first to arrive and quickly took his seat near the back. A few moments later, Ryan strolled in, and when seeing John flashed him that killer smile. John noticed that somehow Ryan had managed to fix his hair, as it was now styled perfectly.
"What are you smirking at?" Ryan said, noticing a grin on John's face.
"Your hair. You actually fixed it."
"Yeah, well I gotta look hot all the time, right?"
"Yeah. Sure." John said as nonchalantly as possible. "You always look good."
"Huh. What did you say?"
"Yes, you saidó"
"Settle down class." Mr. Jensen
interrupted. "Today we are going to do something different. I will let you pick
partners and together you are going to do the `What If?' project. You and your
partner will research an event in history and talk how history would have
changed if something else happened. Like for example, how would history have
changed if the Canadian military lost the Battle of Vimy
Ridge? Or what if
John was about to get up and ask Ryan when he noticed that Ryan was already walking to the back of the room towards me. Their eyes met and he let out that killer smile of his. Suddenly, Sarah Jones stepped in between them and asked him if he wanted to be her partner.
John looked away dejected, but was startled when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. Spinning around, he was looking directly in Ryan's honey colored eyes. The intensity of the color released butterflies in his stomach; he felt as if he was look past John and directly into his soul.
"So. Wanna be my partner?" He asked smiling.
"Sure, but what about Sarah?"
"Naw. I would probably end up doing all the work. Besides I wanna be your partner. It would be more fun." He said smiling, almost mischievously.
"Oh ok. Cool." John said. "Fun? What did he mean by fun? What was that smile, it was as if he meant something by it."
"Well do you want to come over to my place tonight? We can start after school."
"Yeah. That sounds good."
After Ryan had given John directions to his house, Mr. Jensen called the class back to order. He told them that they could discuss all the details outside of class and continued his lecture. John was desperately trying to pay attention to Mr. Jensen's monotone voice, but all he could concentrate was what after school was to mean. "What if I try something? What if he thinks I am gay and hates me?" John thought. His stomach started to hurt at the thought of this. He liked Ryan, he was a great guy and he was sure that he would be a great friend. He felt sicker and sicker, the more he thought about it. "How could I be so selfish? Ryan is a great guy and probably a really good friend. Yet here I am thinking about how he would look like naked. That's so wrong."
"Hey are you ok?" a voice said to him.
"Huh? What?" John said snapping back to reality. Looking around the room, he could see that the final bell had rang and the two of them were alone in the classroom. "Yeah."
"You sure? You don't look to hot." Ryan said, taking a step closer to make sure he was ok.
"Yeah." John was able to stammer. John could feel Ryan's hot breath on his neck, causing him to get hard. "Yeah. Totally fine. Let's get outta here."
After getting their things out of their lockers, the two of them met up in the parking lot. Walking to their cars, John remembered he had to talk Matt home.
"Shit I have to take Mattie home first." John said, looking over at Ryan as they were walking.
"Well. Just come over afterwards."
"We could just work at my place today."
"Yeah that works."
"Hey John." Matt said, when he saw the two of them approaching.
"Hey Mattie." John said, looking at Matt then Ryan. "Matt, this is Ryan."
"Hi Ryan." Matt said sticking out his hand for Ryan to shake.
"Hey man." Ryan said, taking Matt's hand.
"Ok so just follow us." John said to Ryan.
After getting into their respective cars, Ryan trailed John's car to John's house. The whole ride, John's stomach was turning and he was deep in thought.
"Are you ok John?" Matt asked, noticing John's completive nature.
"Yeah. Mattie. Why?"
"Oh. You just seem quiet."
"No. I'm fine. Just thinking, I guess. How was your day?"
"Good. A lot of homework...again."
"Yeah lil' guy. You're not alone though. Ryan and I have this big project to do."
As John finished filling Matt in on what his project was about, they arrived at their house. John pulled into the driveway and Ryan parked on the curb. Walking inside, they realized that both their parents were still at work. John and Ryan went up to their room, while Matt lounged on the couch watching TV.
"Dude. Nice room." Ryan said looking around. John's bed stood against the window with a sofa next to it. Facing the bed and sofa was a big screen TV and entertainment console. In the farthest corner from the room was John's desk and computer. Walking over to the sofa, Ryan took his backpack off his shoulders and sat down. Looking up at John he said, "So should we get started?"
"Sure." John said, walking over to the computer chair. "What topic should we do?"
The two of them pulled out their notes and started to discuss all the different scenarios they could do. After a while the topic changed from school to home life and what they liked to do for fun. John really liked talking to Ryan and realized that they had a lot in common; a lot more than he ever though he would. All was going well and the questions were becoming more personal. Ryan, who had been laying on the sofa, straightened up and looked at John.
"So. John, how come you don't have a girlfriend?"
"Well. I guess I was not really looking. Been to busy really."
"Yeah. Same here." Ryan said smiling, still looking at John. Their eyes met and they both held the gaze. John's stomach was turning endlessly in his stomach. He desperately wanted to lean forward and kiss Ryan. With every force and will power he could muster, he refused. Suddenly a knock on the door, ripped their eyes off each other and towards the door.
"Honey, I'm home." Came John's mom's voice from the other side of the door, as she turned the doorknob.
"Hey Mom." John greeted her once the door was open all the way. "This is Ryan, we are working on our history project together."
"Hi Ma'am." Ryan said politely smiling at her.
"Hi Dear." She answered smiling back. "Well I will let you two be. Dinner is ready in an hour."
"Wow. Look at the time, I better get going." Ryan said noticing that they were working on their project for over four hours.
"Wow. We worked for a long time."
"Well. Not working really, but we got a lot of other things done." Ryan said getting up.
"What do you mean?" John said, leading Ryan out the door and towards the stairs.
"Well, we got to know each other and that's really cool."
As the two were walking down the stairs, John could not help but stare at Ryan's tight ass, which his tight pants were showing off. Reaching the door, Ryan turned around, and said bye to John. Once closing the door, John looked through the window and watched Ryan until he was out of sight. "What the fuck is happening to me? Am I really falling for him?"
The next day, start out like any other. Class was boring and took along time. Too long for John, who was waiting for Jensen's class to roll around. Finally after an agonizing three hours, John was on his way to History. He really loved being around Ryan; it really brightened up his day. Whenever he was not around, John felt as if something was missing.
When John got to class, Ryan was already seated. As soon as he saw John, his face brightened and he gave John that killer smile.
"Hey John. Ready for the quiz?"
"I hope so. You?"
"Yeah. So, how about you come over tonight and we work on the project?"
"I can't. We have plans to eat with my grandparents. What about tomorrow?"
"Hmm. Tomorrow is Friday. I was going to go see a movie with my sister, Michelle. Why don't you come along?"
"No I couldn't. I don't want to be a bother."
"Come on, it gives us a chance to hang out outside of something school related."
"No, really its ok."
"Please, I insist."
John wanted to say no, but something was aching for him to say yes. Maybe it was the way that Ryan's eyes were begging him to go, or his perfect smile. "Sure I'll go."
"Great." Ryan said, smiling even greater than before.
Author's Notes: First, please Email me at: email@example.com for any comments, suggestions, etc. Also check out "Discovering Love" and "My Little Turtle" my other stories on here under the High School section.
Secondly, John once mentioned an idea that I am proud to finally see come to fruition. I have decided to start a yahoo group for all you readers out there. There you can post your stories of coming out, advice for anyone coming out. Advice on being gay, thoughts on the world and life in general. I encourage you to join, and I encourage any straight supporters to join as well. We live in a "crappy" world at times, but at least we can make a small change in it.
So please join at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/teenhelper/