Date: Thu, 31 May 2001 22:06:45 -0700 From: David Stolowitz Subject: Sublimation (high school)- chapter 4 Okay, tests are over, and school will be shortly. Sorry guys-I forgot about nifty for awhile. Also, I kinda hit a creativity wall so I wanted to make sure I was writing quality stuff. Let me know if I've strayed from the original spirit. Sublimation- chapter 4 "I don't get it Seth. Seriously, why do you even bother with the guy?" Carol asked as she walked with Seth up the hill towards their homes. The two had formed a good friendship over the last month of the summer. Carol had fretted over the fact that she would be one of the few seniors without a car to drive to school, but having Seth to walk with had been an unexpected pleasure to enjoy. Carol admired the boy deeply and his seeming love for all people. Still, she worried that Seth's optimistic outlook would get him into trouble one of these days, especially with a prick like Andy Radke. "I look at people in a different way, I guess" Seth replied. "When someone acts that way, I don't get pissed and stick them on the shit list. Life's too important to waste your time fretting over people like that. I try to understand what their motivation is- like, is it something I've done or something else eating them? Something is definitely eating Andy up." Carol thought for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so. But still, even if that's true, it's no excuse for the way he acts." "I understand that," Seth replied. "There's a whole bunch of skills he never learned, but so far he's just been passed on to the next grade. Unless he learns soon, he'll end up in real trouble." "I don't know. Andy seems to me like an evil kind of guy. He's not worth the effort Seth" Seth shook his head. "I believe that I can see people for who they really are Carol, and despite all the crap around the edges, Andy isn't a complete asshole. I don't know how to explain it... but I've seen another side of him. He's a smothered candle: hissing, glinting only the faintest light- but the light's not out. yet. That's why I need to help him; before it's too late." "Well, you just be careful you don't get battered by the guy. Seems to me like he doesn't care about anyone or anything." "It's the opposite really. He cares far too much." *** The dreams had returned for the first time in years. Andy thought that he had been rid of them for good, but the present events seemed to have jarred the old wound back into pain. He was in an arena of sorts, albeit a dark one. Over his head, bolts of lightening slammed angrily against tortured clouds. Within the grounds of stone, Andy was locked in a fight for his life with a shadowed figure. They punched, kicked and wrestled to the death, as a horrible chant echoed from all around. Andy had experienced the dream so often he knew the ending by heart. He would gain the upper edge and beat the shadow figure till crimson blood leaked from its form. The figure would then rise and present him with a mirror. Andy would look into the mirror with horror and behold his father. He would shatter the mirror and end the dream, only to hear his father's laughter teasing him. But this time, it was different. The mirror appeared and Andy turned away. Opposite of the shadow was a very faint light. And there, before him, was Seth. Seth too, held a mirror as well as a patient face. Andy chose to look into this one, ignoring the taunts from his father. Within Seth's mirror, Andy saw a young terrified boy, huddling and crying. Andy reached out to the boy, and he raised his head. Andy froze in shock: It was the boy that he had forgotten and abandoned for years, the child that was tortured for its existence. It was Andy himself. He awoke to sweat-soaked sheets and pillows strewn across the room. Breathing a sigh of relief, he rolled out of bed. From the kitchen across the hall a lamp threw out rays of light inviting him to investigate. Andy met his grandmother in the kitchen, mixing up some hot cider- 2 cups to be precise. Usually, her intuition about him was annoying, but now he found it comforting. "Care for some?" she asked. "Yeah. hook me up" he answered. Rachel threw a few spices into the cider, squeezed a bit of lemon and brought the cups to the table. "I heard you thrashing around in there. Thought I told you to take the ladies elsewhere" Andy smiled. "I wish it was that pleasant a situation" Rachel settled down into a chair and slowly tested the cider. Assured of its quality, she continued with the conversation. "We barely talk anymore, you and I" Andy shrugged. "It's not like I've got anything fascinating to tell ya about. High school stuff- you'd probably find it boring and childish" Rachel shook her head. "High school isn't that bad. Sure, I wasn't a prom queen or a cheerleader, but I have some very good memories of it. It's a place where you get your start on adult life, so it has its value." "Perhaps" Andy conceded. "It'll be over soon enough". "Well then, make the best of it, eh?" she replied, sipping the cider. "Taking any neat classes this semester?" "You're not gonna believe this- I ended up in choir." "Really?" Rachel smiled. "At last, a chance for all that shower talent to be known to the world". "Gram!" Andy whined. "I'm not that loud." "I know. Just teasing. So what scale are you?" "Baritone" he answered, rememebering how Seth had been right on. Seth. God, why couldn't he just forget about him? "Thinking about somebody? Who is it?" Rachel asked with curiosity. "This weird guy I met. Really perplexing" "What's so strange about him?" "I don't know. Just his attitude I guess. He just flows with everything like a windmill. I don't know how he does it. Here I am, finally feeling like I got school life figured out, and then he comes along and turns things upside down." "Sounds like you admire him." Rachel concluded. "No. No way." Andy exorted. "Andy, there's nothing wrong with that. Even kings need their consuls." She could tell that Andy was visibly upset by the situation, but she wanted to help- for once. "If he's bothering you, then be frank with him. Put him on your terf and see if you can't figure him out." "How?" he asked. "Well. you could call him up and ask him to join you and your buds for an activity" Andy considered it. Yes- it could work. Seth wouldn't try any of his psychological shit with the guys around. The method behind the madness was bound to come out. "Thanks Gram. Good advice. Good cider too." *** Seth lay awake in his bed, thoughts streaming through his mind and attempting to sort themselves out. There were many nights that ended up this way, but it didn't bother him- it was the sign of an engaging, and therefore healthy life. "History paper's done. Called Greg about the lab. I'll finish painting the house tomorrow. Anything else?". Seth closed his eyes and utilized a mental technique he had practised for years to bring objects of concern to the front. Andy was all that came to mind Seth flashed his mind through scenes of him, trying to figure him out. Andy was so diffucult to gauge- one minute he was cold, the next soft. His aura was of pain and fear, but underlying it was innocence, a boy defending his backyard fort. Andy was full of energy, yet he was careless with it. Despite it all, he was strong, alluring, cocky, and sexy. A real character- one totally unlike anyone Seth had ever known. "Are you the reason I came here?" he questioned, wondering if Andy would ever hear him out. "I'm going out on a limb, and I don't know if I'm right about you. An awful risk." He reached out his hand out like Adam in the Sistine Chapel, longing inside to grasp the boy in his arms, to show him that there was someone who cared. His hands moved in mime to feel the contours of Andy's body. Powerful. Thick. Erotic. He stopped himself, as he always did before the act, to question the morality of it. Seth believed that it was dangerous to fantasize about someone if you knew you couldn't have them. And yet, Andy's signals were just mixed enough, that he felt it was safe. His hand moved down to his groin and summoned up his desires. Seth massaged his shaft, transforming his manhood from a small link to a heavy slab of meat. His cock was captivating to behold- a wide handle that bulged with a thick vein and leaked juice from a deep slit. Each press and grab brought wonderous sensations as he first stripped, then engaged Andy in his mind. Seth explored every muscle and orifice mentally, with hands, mouth and dick. Andy would have felt so wonderful- so strong, so powerful, so hungry. Seth visualized Andy squeezing his flesh, deep mouthing him, coiling his tongue around Seth's. Seth increased his tempo, his mind flashing as a strobe-light. Andy's fantastic expressions and vigor matched. The world blended and ebbed as chemistry worked its magic upon him. At last, he joined completely with the dream of Andy, and fireworks went off in his body. Seth came in great loads, more than he had in years as he later realized. But as usual, the orgasm was all too brief, and the reality all too cruel. Andy dissapeared and Seth was alone once more. The emptiness always was the worst part, and as usual, despite the intial feelings, Seth came to regret the masturbation. He feared that now, perhaps, his hormones might cloud his behavior and judgement. He whispered out his window as he got up to clean up the mess. "I don't want to be alone anymore. Please Andy, don't leave me hanging" Seth cleansed and returned to his bed. He would not sleep for another hour.