Tales from another broken home.
Chapter 17: 10 reasons why I still need therapy.
Well all comments to lovinthatsheckler@gmail.com and hope ya like it. If anyone could offer me webspace pref. with a MySQL db that would be really excellent. I'd even be willing to give you the next 5 chapters in advance. I'm available at the email above if anyone's willing to host me. ~truthinwords.

You don't see me laughing, You don't.
But I'll still be here waiting for you.
I feel like you are my ecstacy its you that I'm craving.
I feel like you are my energy so why do you haze me?

From "Faster the Chase" By InMe.

I woke up with my eyes still half shut and walked slowly into the bathroom. It was only day 2 of school and already I wished it was summer again. It had taken me two hours to write the paper on Catcher in the Rye, which by the way is incredibly depressing, its all about this guy with all these plans who thinks he's gonna be a bigshot but never actually amounts to anything. On top of the homework I would probably start getting today I had therapy aswell. I hadn't seen Jimmy in like 2 weeks and I was actually kinda looking forward to telling him what I'd been upto. I hopped in the shower and five minutes later I was down for breakfast.

"Hey Ri, there's bagels on the table babe" my Mam called as she walked out the door.

I fixed myself some breakfast and eat it on the way to Carrie's. Carrie's Dad was off on business so I didn't have to worry about another conversation with him. I knew he meant well but why would I want to talk to his gay friends? I knew how to live my life.

"Hey Riley." Carrie smiled walking down the stairs.

"Come on you two were already running late" Carrie's mam called as she ran out the door.

We talked a little on the way to school but by the time we got there we were already late so we made our way to our separate classes. School that day was pretty uneventful. Another essay from Ms. Berkley, a cool class of art and music was difficult but cool in its own way. The other classes tended to be a bit of a blur but I'm pretty sure I'll at least pass them.

After school Carrie's Mam dropped me to the bus stop and I got a bus to Jimmy's. When I arrived I sat on the same leather couch in the waiting area and Jimmy called me in a few minutes later.

"Hey Riley" Jimmy beamed. "What you been upto little man?"

"Nothing much" I replied casually.

"Ok then let's get down to business" Jimmy said flicking on the tape recorder.

"Right..So you started back at school how's that been going" He asked.

"Em it's ok some of the classes are pretty hard but I'll get through it." I laughed.

"Do you have many friends in this school?" Jimmy questioned.

"Well I didn't have many friends last year cuz I started in the last few months of the school year. I pretty much only had Carrie but that didn't bother me cuz we got on so well." I answered.

"One close friendship is better then many casual ones right?" Jimmy smiled. "But what about this year?"

"Well Ryan is in my year and so is Carrie and there's this new kid Jake he's kinda wierd but he's really cool." I said smiling.

"What's wierd about Jake?" Jimmy asked.

This was the part of therapy that bugged me. Jimmy asked constant questions you couldn't say anything without it resulting in more questions.

"Well he's got loads of piercings and stuff like that." I answered.

"Oh and you don't have any piercings right so do they freak you out?" Jimmy questioned.

"Me and Ryan went with Jake to get piercings." I said with a smug look on my face, freaked out my ass.

"Oh where did you get pierced? and do your parents know about it?" Jimmy asked looking concerned.

"We both got our nipple pierced and No our parents don't know." I answered.

"Do you think that was a responsible decision?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't know man and I don't really care it was a decision I made and I have to live with it nobody else." I answered moodily.

"So do you think this Jake is a good influence on you?" Jimmy asked changing subject swiftly.

"He's a nice guy but he's got his problems I suppose." I answered truthfully.

"What sort of problems does he have?" Jimmy questioned.

"Well he smokes and drinks and does drugs and stuff and he's even got down there pierced man." I laughed.

"How do you know he has a genital piercings did he tell you or show you?" Jimmy asked.

"He showed me Man." I answered not seeing the big deal.

"Did he show it to you as part of a sexual interaction?" Jimmy asked calmly.

"No man I don't even know if he's gay or straight and I don't care he's a cool guy." I answered loosing my patience.

Did Jimmy think I just slept with every guy I befriended. I was with Ryan and I had no plans to cheat on him.

"Ok do you have plans to get anymore piercings with Jake?" Jimmy asked.

"Maybe I've been thinking about getting my other nipple pierced." I replied.

"Have you been using the piercings with Ryan in a sexual way?" Jimmy asked without a hint of embarresment.

"Yeah if you touch them gently it feels really good" I smiled.

"Ok and do you think you connect the pain of the piercing with the pleasure it results in afterwards?" Jimmy asked.

"Hell No, it really hurt to get it done man." I answered.

God now he thought I was into S&M and that kinda stuff. First he accused me of being a slut and now I get off on pain.

"Ok well I think you should think about why your friends with this Jake kid? Does he remind you of yourself or do you feel you need to help him?" Jimmy quizzed

"Well he kinda reminds me of myself a little and if he asks for my help I'll help him but I don't see why I shouldn't be friends with him." I replied getting kinda annoyed.

"Ok then well I guess were done for today." Jimmy smiled patting me on the shoulder.

I walked into the waiting room and my Mam was sitting there waiting for me. We got home a half an hour later and had dinner. After dinner I had to go take care of my English assignment. It took two hours to do but I was pretty proud of it when I was finished and it was still only 8 so I headed over to Jake's.

I walked down the street and knocked on the door. A few seconds later I heard Jake walking towards the door.

"Hey Riley whats kickin dude?" Jake smiled as he opened the door.

"Nothing much man, what you upto?" I asked.

"I'm still working on that English assignment its a bitch dude." Jake groaned.

"Anyways come on in." Jake smiled guiding me into the sitting-room.

When we got in I could smell the thick distinctive smell of pot floating in the air.

"Woah dude are you getting stoned?" I questioned kinda shocked.

"Just a little bit it helps me get my creative flow going" Jake laughed.

"Hey man you want a few drags." Jake smiled.

He passed me the joint and before I knew it I was taking deep drags.

"Woah dude you better keep that one" Jake laughed as he rolled a fresh joint for himself.

We spent the next hour getting really stoned. I felt lightheaded and I kept on laughing about anything and everything. I was bending over to pick something up off the floor and as I raised my head up my eyes seemed to lock with Jake's.

Jake moved closer to me his eyes still focused on mine. I could feel an intensity transferring between us and then Jake leant in and kissed me. I was really shocked I hadn't expected this. He was good looking but I was with Ryan and I was in love with Ryan. At least I thought I was.

Jake moved his tongue into my mouth and I felt his tongue stud rub gently off my tongue. We made out for a couple of seconds but then I pulled away.

"No man I can't do this." I said gasping for breath.

"Why not dude it doesn't make you queer and I won't tell anyone" Jake said with a pleading look in his eyes.

"But I am gay man. But I'm with someone" I blurted.

"Who are you with?" Jake questioned.

"Me and Ryan have been together for the last few weeks man" I replied.

"But only Carrie knows so you can't tell anyone." I said firmly.

"Man I can keep a secret" Jake smiled.

"I can keep this a secret" he smiled and sat into my lap.

Before I knew it his tongue was back in my mouth and we were making out again. Jake unzipped my pants and I felt his hand jerk me off in a smooth motion. He kept the motion up for a few minutes when I shuddered and came in his hand.

"Riley man will you, em will you go down on me man?" Jake pleaded.

I unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down around his ankles revealing his tented boxers. I pulled his boxers off with my teeth freeing his trapped errection. I took him in my mouth and I felt the smooth steel ring run along my tongue. I began to lick gently around the piercing. Jake squirmed.

"Oh fuck thats good" he gasped.

I licked down his shaft and took one of his balls in my mouth. I was about to start on the other one when he shot a strong load onto my face.

"Woah man I'm sorry" Jake said as he wiped my face with his t-shirt.

"It's no problem dude." I answered kinda unsure if it was ok or not.

After this I got cleaned up and left when I got home my Mam was waiting for me.

"Riley its 11pm kiddo, you can't stay out that late. I want you in by 10 in future ok?" She said calmly but firmly.

"Yeah sure sorry Mam." I smiled and I hugged her and headed up to bed.

In bed I couldn't sleep. I felt so guilty I had betrayed Ryan and I couldn't even really explain why. I felt really low and I leant under my bed and pulled out my emergency pack of Malboro. I took deep drags and cried small tears as I thought about what I had done. I didn't want to lose Ryan over this but should I tell him what had happened?