Tales from another broken home.

Chapter 32: Addicts don't do nerves.

I have fallen down so many times.
Don't know why.
Don't know where.
Don't care less it's all the same.

I have traveled through so many towns.
Don't know why.
Don't know where.
Don't care less it's all the same.

How can I protect you in this crazy world?
It's Alright, Yeah. It's alright.

Can you hear the sound of nothing?
Love is blind, Love is real.
Don't you know that love is what you feel?

How can I protect now all the crowd has gone?
Now your parties over.
All this world is gone.

It's alright. It's alright.

From "Crazy World" By Aslan.

My eyes opened slowly. As the world came into focus I saw Ryan's eyes. We were both sleeping on our sides facing each other.

"Hey I thought you'd never wake up."

"Just tired man. Last night took a lot out of me."

As we were lying there, there was a knock on the door.

"Ryan there's an Aaron here for you. He's waiting downstairs."

"Oh ok Mam I'll be down in a second."

Ryan hopped out of bed and threw on some boxers tossing mine at me. He darted out the door and a few seconds later he was back upstairs with Aaron. Aaron looked me up and down. I was only wearing a pair of jeans.

"Oh sorry did I interrupt something?"

"No it's cool man."

"I should have rang first but I didn't have Ryan's number and your Mam gave me directions here."

"Aaron dude it's cool."

"Ok it's just we need to practice the song."

"Right I suppose I better get going then."

I kissed Ryan goodbye and threw on a t-shirt. I walked back to my house with Aaron grabbed my guitar and then headed for his place.

"Em Riley what's it like to kiss a guy?"

"What do you mean man?"

"I've only kissed a few girls never a guy. I'm just wondering what it's like."

"Oh well with Ryan it's different cuz you know he's not just any guy."

"So your in love with him?"

"I suppose so."

"I can't describe it man you'd probably be better asking one of your Dads."

"No way man. They'd try and throw me some big coming out party."

"What do you mean?"

"They caught me kissing a girl after a gig. They were kinda disappointed cuz they assumed I was gay."

"Well they love you weather your gay or straight man."

"Well I'm kinda inbetween dude. I mean I haven't been with any guys but I have been attracted to some."

"Well that's ok."

"Yeah I know. I just don't know like how to find out if they're interested or not."

"I guess it's just dumb luck if you find someone man."

We walked into the garage and started playing. I sang the song twice through before the rest of the band arrived. We practiced most of the evening playing our set through a number of times untill it was perfect. I was about to pack up and go home for dinner when Andrew and Steve walked into the garage.

"Ok guys. You ready to be transformed."

"Yeah Guys start with Riley." Aaron smiled.

"Em what's goin on?" I said nervously.

"My Dad's run a stylists so they're gonna do our hair."

"You didn't have any of that for the last gig."

"Yeah but I just thought we could help out." Steve smiled.

Steve cut my hair kinda rough and edgy and put red eyeliner on me making it watery so it flowed onto my face. When I came back into the garage everyone was dressed up with new haircuts and eyeliner.

"Well that's a job well done." Steve smiled.

"I'll see you guys tonight."

I ran home and grabbed some dinner. I was midway through a cheeseburger when my Mam walked into the kitchen.

"What the..........?"

"Riley who cut your hair. And is that eyeliner?"

"Steve and Andrew cut all the bands hair, and eyeliners like a cool thing for emo kids now. It's ok Mam they're trained hairstylists."

"Ohhhhhhhkayyyyyyy."

I wolfed down the burger.

"Gotta go I'm running late."

"Ok honey good luck I'll wait up so you can tell me how it went."

I ran back to Aaron's. I had my guitar, spare strings, loads of plecks and lots and lots of nerves. We loaded up the van and headed for The BackHouse. I smoked three cigarettes over the five minute journey. I was completely on edge. When we arrived I helped unload the gear and then we headed into the backstage area. I was sitting in the corner with my head in my hands trying to calm down when Aaron came over to me.

"Hey dude here smoke this."

He passed me a joint and a lighter. I sparked it up and instantly relaxed. Within a half hour we were being called onstage. I grabbed my guitar and walked with the rest of the band. When I got onstage I plugged my guitar in and played the opening chords to the first song. After my intro the band joined in. Everything was going to plan I hadn't messed up on any of the songs and the rest of the band were onform aswell. It was the last song of the night and that meant I was up. Aaron started his drum beat and then the bass kicked in and Adam played his guitar part and I just went for it. The crowd were really into it and people started moshing right there and then. When we were done we took a bow and walked offstage.

"Ok guys afterparty in my place." Aaron smiled.

We packed up and headed outside when I walked out the door Ryan came running up almost jumping in my arms.

"Dude you fuckin rocked."

"Thanks Man." I smiled hugging him back and giving his butt a quick squeeze.

"Come on you have to come to the afterparty at Aaron's place."

"Ok cool."

We both got in the van with the rest of the band and before I knew it we were at Aaron's.

"Ok guys I'm ok with you drinking here but you have to be smart about it ok?" Steve laughed handing out a couple of 6-packs.

"Thanks Dad." Aaron smiled.

"Thanks." The rest of us chorused.

We sat in Aaron's garage playing music, talking and drinking lots of beer. Ryan had some vodka in his pocket and JayJay had a big bottle of Jack Daniels in his bag. Later on when Aaron's parents were in bed we started on the vodka and J.D. Two hours later I found myself walking home with Ryan. We were both laughing and Ryan seemed to have lost his shirt. We stumbled up to my door and I somehow managed to get my keys into the lock. We both made ourway upstairs laughing.

"I'm gonna do you good." Ryan smiled.

"I'm gonna do you better." I smiled back.

We got into my bedroom and Ryan instantly pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. He pulled my shirt off and began to kiss me all over. Ryan undid my belt and was about to go further when my door closed. Ryan ran up and opened the door. Standing in the doorway was Mike.