Tales from another broken home.

Chapter 44: Settling.

I was sitting waiting wishing.
If you believed in superstition.
Then maybe you'd see the signs.
The lord knows that this world is cruel.
And I ain't the lord no just a fool.
And I love him some but I don't make him love you.
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you.
Must I always be playing, playing your fool.

I sang your song.
I danced your dance.
I gave all your friends a chance.
but puttin up with them wasn't worth never having you.
Maybe you've been through this before.
But this is my first time so please ignore,
the next few lines cuz they're directed at you.

From "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing." By Jack Johnson.

I opened the door to see Ryan standing before me.

"I think we should talk man." He smiled weakly.

"Oh I'm so sorry man you know I love you."

"It's not going to be that sort of conversation."

I walked upto my room and he followed me.

"Riley. I want to be friends again."

"What sort of friends?" I asked with a hint of hope in my voice.

"Friends. Just friends. Not boyfriends."

"Are you going to punish me forever?"

"You cheated on me."

"I know Ryan and I'm going to do everything I can untill I get you back."

Ryan looked stunned at my comment.

"Riley I'm just not ready for that with you yet. I still haven't really forgiven you. It's just.."

"What man?"

"I need you in my life in someway. I still love you but I can't be in love with you until I can trust you."

I pulled him close to me and kissed him. He pulled away.

"Riley don't do this. I'm gonna go, I'll see you in school."

I sat on my bed running the events of the last while through my head. Maybe I could get him back. It would never be the same though. I had messed things up too bad for that. I lay back in bed and thought of Ryan as I touched myself. My hand gripped my growing penis as I thought of Ryan lying next to me. I came hard after thinking of Ryan sucking me, feeling me, fucking me. I realized I hadn't had sex in a long time. I was desperate and in need of someone to touch me. I walked to Aaron's. When I got to his house I knocked on the door. When Aaron opened it I grabbed him into a rough kiss. We both walked upto his bedroom without a word. I pulled my shirt off and he removed his. I pushed him onto the bed and we kissed again. I made my way down his body to his slender cock. I sucked him twisting my tongue around his cockhead. Everything we did was angry and rough. We were both bitter and I wasn't sure if either of us even liked each other. This was a selfish act. A lay that we both needed. Aaron manoeuvred round until he was in position and then started to suck me off. We 69'd each other until we both came. I got up cleaned myself off and began to get dressed.

"That was good man." Aaron smiled.

"That was a once off." I replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I needed to cum and you made me."

"Your an asshole Riley. Ya know that. A fuckin' asshole."

"You ruined the best thing in my life Aaron. How the fuck do you want me to act?"

"You played your part in that Riley."

"You seduced me."

"You could have said no. You live a life were nothings your fault. Fuck you man take responsibility for something."

I got up and walked out. On the way home I thought about Aaron's words. The truth in them replayed in my mind over and over. I didn't take responsibility for anything, it was always someone else's fault never mine. Someone else always caused me to do the fucked up things I did. As I was walking home I noticed a moving van pulled up at Jake's old house. I guess I was gonna have new neighbour. I walked to my house and grabbed my skateboard before heading to the skate park. I skated for hours letting the winds run through my hair and the bite of cold hit my face. I felt free as I sailed through the air. When I got home Mike and my Mam had already eaten dinner. I heated up some leftovers and went upstairs. I played the tape of my songs. I had been writing and playing since the day Ryan confronted me. I had twelve songs written and recorded on a tape. The sound quality was crap but the songs although dark were chillingly good. I couldn't stop listening to them. I felt like I was listening to someone else, the sounds didn't seem like something I could have created.

The next day I woke and walked downstairs. I was in the kitchen wearing only boxer shorts and a t-shirt when my Mam walked in with a woman and a kid around my age.

"Oh my God Riley put some clothes on."

"I didn't expect anyone else to come walking in." I shouted embarrassed.

As I was walking up the stairs I was pretty sure I saw the boy checking me out. I ran upstairs threw on some jeans and came back down.

"Riley this is Jean and her son Matt. They just moved in down the road."

I smiled and shook both their hands. Matt was really cute he was short with medium length hair that fell over his face and was jett black with a large yellowy blond section dyed into it. He wore a really short tight My chemical romance shirt with even tighter jeans. His eyes were a deep green and he had a cute button nose.

"Riley why don't you show Matt around? He'll be going to your school."

I walked upto my room and Matt followed.

"Where you guys move from?"

"Maryland."

"What do you think of California so far?"

"I kinda miss home I guess."

"Moving blows big time."

"Yeah I had to leave my band behind."

"What do you play?"

"Drums."

"You?"

"Guitar."

"I really wanna get going with a new band."

"Yeah man we should play together later. Wanna go check out the skate park?"

"Sure."

We walked to the skate park and when we got there I saw Ryan skating. He waved to me and I waved back quickly.

"On second thoughts dude lets go back to my place."

"Ok I guess."

"We can play playstation or something."

"Ok." Matt laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just wondering why your avoiding that guy?"

"No reason."

"Cuz I can think of a few why you might be."

"Oh and what reasons would those be?"

"I'm not sure if I should say." Matt teased.

I was beginning to think me and Matt had more in common then our taste in music. He was cute and kinda funny. If he asked I was pretty sure what my answer would be. Matt invited me to his place while our Mam's were talking in my house. His garage was converted into a gym with his drumset set up in the corner.

"My Mam got all into fitness after the divorce." Matt smiled "Your parents divorced?"

"No they were never married. I never knew my Dad, but my Mam's been going out with Mike for a good while and that's his house were living in."

"Oh that's cool. Wanna lift some weights?"

"I guess so."

I lay down on the bench and lifted two 5kg plates on a barbell. I was pumping away when I noticed Matt staring.

"Am I doing something wrong?" I teased.

"Oh no...well it's just it's better to do it shirtless like this."

Matt pulled off his shirt to reveal his skinny frame. His stomach was smooth and tanned.

"Ok I guess."

I slowly removed my shirt. Matt stared at my nipple rings.

"How long have you had those?"

"Couple of months."

"They're really cool."

"I guess so."

Matt reached over and gently poked at my nipple, which instantly went hard.

"I guess you like that." Matt smiled.

"Yeah I guess I do."

Matt gently ran his finger along my nipple stroking it and I began to moan. He grinned as my eyes shut and I lay back. I felt his hands gently massage my shoulders.

"Roll over onto your back you look tense." He whispered.

Matt began to gently massage my shoulders. His small but strong hands rubbed over my shoulder and upper back. I was lying on my back feeling more relaxed then I had in weeks when there was a call.

"Matt are you in there?"

"Yeah Mam I'm here." He sighed.

"Riley come on home kiddo." Came my Mam's call.

I walked home with my Mam.

"So how's Matt settling in?"

"He's missing home a little I think but he seems really cool so he'll make lots of friends here."

" I invited them both to dinner tonight and I said you'd show Matt around while we went to the mall tomorrow."

"Cool."

That night Mam insisted I get all cleaned up she fixed my hair and made me wear a shirt and even forced Mike into getting a hair cut. When Matt and his Mam arrived they were both dressed up too.

"Hey Matt."

"Riley."

"Wanna go upstairs."

"Sure." He winked.

I walked upstairs to my room and when I stepped through the doorway it slammed suddenly and Matt put his hand over my eyes.

"Guess who."

"Oh I don't know maybe Matt?"

Matt removed his hands and began to giggle infectiously.

"Hello there." I laughed.

Matt leant down and kissed me. Our lips mashed together and then parted as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I could feel it twisting and writhing inside of me. Matt's hands were exploring my body as his tongue kept me under it's spell. Matt ran his hands through my hair and down my chest. I pulled him close to me, our hips touching as we kissed. This was one of the most intense experiences of my life. Just as I was about to take things a little further....

"Riley, Matt dinner."