Tales from another broken home.

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Chapter 49: A Ring of Trust.

Close my eyes.
And move to the back of my mind.
Were worries are washed out to sea.
See the changes people's faces blurred out.
Like sun spots or raindrops.

Now all those feelings.
Those Yesterdays feelings.
Will all be lost in time.
But today I've wasted away.
For Today is on my mind.

From "Yesterdays Feeling." By The Used.

I woke with my eyes flickering my mind back into existence. As I scanned the room my eyes fell on a small figure asleep on a seat in the corner of the room. It was Ryan. As I stared at him he began to move about. When his eyes opened they seemed to instantly lock onto mine. As he stared straight into my eyes his mouth curled into a smile.

"Hey there. I fell asleep waiting for you to wake up."

"How long have you been here?"

"Since about six."

"What time is it now?"

"It's about ten."

"Come sit with me."

Ryan sat on the foot of my bed and I felt safe with him there. I motioned him forward and grabbed him into a tight hug.

"I love you Ry."

"I love you too man. I love you a lot."

We stayed there in each others arms and I felt free from the thoughts that haunted my every moment. Ryan's presence freed me from their grasp. At two Ryan had to go and he wouldn't be able to see me the next day he'd be busy. With everything that happened I had forgotten all about Christmas. It was Christmas Eve and Christmas, normally my favourite time of year was now a distant blur to the pain I felt flowing through me. As I was running things through my mind again my Mam came bounding into the room.

"Honey they're ready to release you. You can come home and spend Christmas with me and Mike."

I spent the next hour having some final tests done and having the stitches on my wrist checked. After that I was ready to go. Mike came and picked us up. The drive home was silent, nobody knew what to say. We had a simple dinner since nobody had planned on staying here for Christmas. I wasn't upto much and went to bed pretty soon after dinner. It was dark in my room and I was haunted by images of Jake and what he had done to me. My room no longer held the comfort it had originally and I felt a darkness creeping up on me as I lay awake. I knew I wasn't doing well but I wasn't sure what I could do to fix things.

I woke the next morning in a cold sweat as I felt the pain of a nightmare drip down my face. I went downstairs grabbed some breakfast. My Mam and Mike were sitting at the table.

"Happy Christmas Kiddo." Mike smiled.

"Happy Christmas." I replied a smile somehow returning to my face.

I loved Christmas. It was a time of year that was magical and enchanted. If I was ever going to forget about Jake now was the time to start. I walked into the sittingroom and there was a bunch of presents under the tree. I got an Ipod and a bunch of cd's, movies and clothes and Mike got my Mam enough tuition to qualify her as a hairstylist. I spent the rest of the morning transferring all my music onto the Ipod and then we all watched a movie together and my Mam cooked pizza and everything she could find in the freezer. Fine it wasn't a turkey dinner but for me it was just what I wanted. We watched Christmas movie's for the rest of the afternoon and then Mike suggested we go outside and let off some fireworks he had left over from the previous 4th of July. Mike let off the fireworks and then dissapeared into the house. When me and my Mam were walking in there was roses everywhere. Mike walked over to my Mam and got down on bended knee.

"Alex. I know we've only been together a few months and this isn't the best time but I know you're the one for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Mike reached into his pocket and took out a little box. He opened it to show a gold ring. "Alex will you marry me?"

"Yes Mike, I'll marry you." My Mam smiled in between tears.

Mike hugged us both and stepped back as my Mam slipped on the ring. We opened a bottle of champagne and I was allowed drink a little. The little glass combined with the medecine I was taking got me completely wasted and Mike was a little merry after two glasses so we all sat down and watched some random t.v. show and then went to bed.

The next morning I headed out to see Matt. When I knocked on his door his Mam opened it.

"Oh hey Riley. How are you doing honey?"

"I'm ok thanks. Is Matt in?"

"Em well darling, when you had your em incident, Matt told me about your relationship and I just feel that maybe you guys shouldn't see each other anymore."

I stood there too stunned to speak. I stared straight into her eyes and could see the nervous flickering within them.

"You can't do this. I need to see him."

"I'm sorry I think you should leave."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Please Riley, please leave."

I couldn't believe it. She was trying to keep me away from Matt. I hadn't stopped thinking about seeing him since I got out of hospital and now she was trying to destroy our relationship. I was too upset to go home so I made my way to Carrie's. As I walked there I noticed Ryan skating in the skatepark. I quickly crossed the street and ran into him.

"Hey Ri. How you doin man?"

"Not good Ry. Matt's Mam won't let me see him anymore."

"How come?"

"He told her about us. Now she says I can't see him anymore."

"Ok come on back to my place and we can talk. You look like your about to freeze."

On the way back the heavens opened and rain poured down on us. We ran back but by the time we got back to Ryan's house we were completely drenched. Ryan opened the door and we both waddled in.

"Dude I'm soaking."

"Come on I'll lend you some clothes."

I followed Ryan upto his room and he tossed me a shirt and some jeans. I pulled my wet shirt off and Ryan smiled at me as he watched.

"Enjoying the viewing huh?"

"Watching isn't a crime."

I pulled off my socks and dropped my pants standing in front of him wearing only boxer shorts. As drips of water ran from my hair down my chest and further down my boxers began to become transparent. I saw Ryan's breath catch as he saw me through a wet patch in my boxers. I walked over and cupped his face in my hands.

"Why are we doing this to each other man? I know you love me and I love you."

"You cheated. Not me."

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I pulled his shirt over his head.

"Riley we shouldn't."

"I know." I smiled as I undid his belt.


"I'm sorry..." I unbuttoned his pants and let them drop to the floor.


I kissed him harder then I ever had before. My arms gripped every inch of him tightly as if he might dissapear from me.

"I feel safe with you Ryan. You make me feel okay again. I love you so much."

Ryan sighed but then smiled. "And I love you too."

Ryan held me tight and we kissed and gently touched each other. Being in his embrace was all I was ready for. We lay in his bed together warm under the covers and I knew this felt right. Everything felt right again. Ryan would make me whole again, protect me from Jake and love me like I needed to be loved.