They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew

Mike had stayed over for the last 3 nights and I was actually kinda getting used to seeing him when I woke up in the morning. I walked into the kitchen wearing only a pair of boxers and there was Mike in the same situation. This was the first time I had seen him shirtless and I couldn't help but stare at the tattoo on his belly. The words "Irish Pride" ran in an arc over his defined abs. "Ya like the tattoo huh?" started Mike in his usual friendly way. I nodded a response whilst pouring some cereal. We both sat down to breakfast together and chatted casually. I looked over and saw my Mam in the doorway smiling. She seemed to get happier everytime she saw me and Mike together. I was slowly growing used to Mike and I actually liked him quite a bit. He was friendly and funny so he was ok in my book. He had taken to patting me on the head and back ever since our hug and I was enjoying the attention. I had never had a father or even a father figure so this was a totally new thing to me.

Mike and my Mam were going out again tonight so I invited Ryan over for some fun and games. We had been going out for nearly a week and already things seemed so serious. Carrie was the only person who knew and I didn't really know anyone else who really needed to know or who I could trust with the information. "I'm headin out" I yelled. My Mam managed to give me a hug as I tried to get out and Mike went with his usual hair ruffling head pat. I had a week of school holidays left and I planned to make the most of it.

I skated upto Ryan's house his parents were already gone to work. I knocked my knock on the door and I heard Ryan run for the door from inside. Ryan opened the door and almost dragged me into the house. Ryan had his usual smile and was only wearing a pair of jeans. His defined abs were glistening with sweat "I've been workin out" he explained. I couldn't resist grabbing him running my hands from his chest down to his abs. We both collapsed onto a nearby couch and started to make out for what seemed like hours. This was almost becoming a routine Wake up, go to Ryans, get laid.

"You still comin over tonight?" I smirked Ryan's smile fell straight off his face. "Em I can't, my parents dont think its a good idea cuz were alone and they think were drinking or something." I didnt really know what to say but I managed a quick "oh thats ok I suppose" before changing the topic but Ryan was onto me "Look Dude, I want to go but I can't my parents are being real assholes about it" "ok then I guess we'll have to make the most of the time we have then" I smirked grabbing at his jeans. I pushed him down onto the couch and sat on his lap undoing his belt before arching down to kiss his tender lips. Ryan was obviously enjoying himself as there was a quite visible bulge starting in his trousers. I pulled back from our kiss to observe my little lover. He was definitely a catch with his cute smile, button nose, and perfect teeth. He had abs that almost made me jealous and an ass that I couldn't get enough of.

I was quickly brought back to reality by Ryan's soft moans "Come on Riley, I want you now" I pulled his jeans down ready and willing to give him what he wanted. He was wearing red boxers and his cock was already tenting them. I pulled myself up on top of his hard member and grinded my ass and groin against it dry humping him with all my power. He groaned with pleasure as I moved on top of him. I felt the familiar jolt in Ryan's hips and I knew he had shot his load. I gently cleaned him off with a washcloth and he went to get some fresh underwear.

I lay back on the couch thinking about Ryan and my Mam and without thinking reached into my pocket for a smoke. I had it lit and was smoking it as Ryan walked into the room. "Dude are you crazy? If my Mom smells that you wont be able to come round here anymore" I quickly apologized and headed out to his backyard. Ryan followed me out with an awkward look on his face "Ril, I don't like you smoking man. How come you never told me you smoked?" I thought about it and realised I was a little ashamed of my addiction but I wasnt in the mood to be told what to do and how to act so I kept the answer simple "I suppose it just never came up" I muttered. "Well I want you to stay healthy I love you too much to see you get sick" I couldn't stop it as little tears ran into my eyes. This was possibly the nicest things anyone had ever said to me. Ryan really cared all my misplaced anger over the cigarettes faded away as Ryan gripped me into a firm hug. "I promise I'll quit dude"

The promise lasted all of 2 hours. I had left Ryans an hour before hand and my Mam and Mike had been gone half an hour. I felt alone and even though Ryan wanted to be there I couldn't help but feel rejected. I smoked 5 in a row watching a bad movie. I felt a pain that I couldnt heal so I did all I knew how to do and smoked my problem away. I had a little pot under my bed that a kid had given me in school the year before. I hadn't been sure how to use it but had since seen a movie which explained a lot. I cut a smoke with a knife and spread the tobacco out evenly on one of my Moms rolling papers. I burned and crumbled the pot onto the joint and licked it closed rolling the tip into a perfect cone. I lit it up and took a deep breath in and I felt an instant wave of relief. All my muscles relaxed and I felt lighter. I spent the next five minutes smoking it up before I felt a twinge in my stomach. I ran into the bathroom and saw my deathly pale face in the bathroom mirror before I puked for ages straight into the toilet bowl.

I don't know what possessed me to do it but I decided now would be a good time to go to Carries.