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I walked down the
road towards Carrie's getting strange looks from yuppie mothers on their
night time power walks. I was so chilled I could feel my eyes rolling
backwards and I almost floated to Carrie's. As I turned onto Carries road
I remembered Ryan and whispered "fuck him" to myself I was so
pissed at him he could have come over he just didnt want to or worse he
didn't have the balls to stand upto his Mam. I reached Carries house and
as I was walking up her drive her Dad's car pulled up and he got out with
his usual smile. "Hey Riley, hows things buddy?" I panicked
and words seemed to spew out of my mouth "Hey Carries dad, I mean
Mr. Carrie, em I mean Hi" followed by a stoned laugh. Carries Dad
gave me a worried smile. He walked over and looked straight into my eyes.
His expression became sadder and he actually picked me up. "Hey man,
put me down I can walk" I laughed unconvincingly. Carries Dad brought
me into their kitchen and put on some coffee pouring me a cup. "OK
Riley, its time for us to talk buddy. What have you taken?" I nearly
passed out how did he know? "Nothin" I looked straight at the
ground. "Come on Riley. I can help you if you just let me."
Carries dad put his arm around me and rubbed my head. I felt like someone
actually cared. He was a nice guy maybe he would just help me. Maybe I
could trust him.
Carries dad looked at me "Riley is someone at home hitting you? or
doing anything else you dont like to you?" I told him about Chris.
He looked really angry but after I told him that Chris was gone and that
Mike seemed like a nice guy he calmed down a little. I felt better having
spilled everything to someone. I hadn't even told Carrie some of the stuff
but the drugs made the words flow. I started rambling about how I needed
to go home but Carries dad said I wasnt able to at the moment. He picked
me up and tucked me into a bed even giving me a kiss on the head before
saying goodnight. I quickly fell asleep I was so tired. When I woke in
the morning I heard my Mam crying and Mike and Carries dad talking. I
remembered I had told Carries dad some of the stuff about Chris but I
didn't remember my Mam or Mike being there. I didnt feel like going downstairs
and facing everyone but I heard them heading upstairs.
They all surrounded me with sad looks on everyones face. My Mam leaned
over and just hugged me crying "I thought that he had only hit you
once because you never told me" she blubbered in between tears. "Why
didn't you tell me? I would have gotten rid of him sooner." I didnt
know how to reply I had felt that the beating were my fault Chris had
always explained why I deserved them. Mike looked at me with pity in his
eyes and I didnt like it I wasn't pathetic I could take care of myself.
Who was he to look down on me. "I think we should go" my Mam
said and I was treated like an invalid Mike picking me up and hugging
me in his arms all the way out to his car were they lay me down in the
back seats. I felt so pathetic right then. Mike drove us home and they
lay me down on the couch.
I lay there as they walked out but then I heard loud sounds coming from
my room. As I walked towards my room I saw Mike lifting up my mattress."Whats
goin on" I shouted. "Honey, I cant let you keep drugs in the
house." my Mam said in a calm voice. "Fuck you, I can't have
some pot but you can get drunk every night for a year and never come home
leaving me with Chris to beat the shit into me, FUCK YOU" I ran from
the room and out the front door. I was really distracted and my rage was
getting the best of me. I punched a tree and bruised my hand before grabbing
my board and skating towards Ryans.
I reached Ryan's in
about 5 minutes I had to give up on the board after a couple of seconds
as my balance was gone. Ryan opened the door with a smile. I walked in
and we ran upto his room. I told him about last night and he looked at
me sympathetically."Riley you know I dont like you smoking, that
stuff messes up your mind" I couldn't believe it thats all he had
to say. "Your just the same as my Mam dont do this dont do that."
Ryan looked at me in a pitiful way "Dont look at me like that".
Ryan looked confused "like what?" "You know the look like
I'm pathetic" I raged. "I dont think your pathetic Riley. I
love you man but I dont understand you at the moment" I didn't know
what to do so I just walked out of his room and out of the house hitting
the streets with nowhere to go.
As I headed towards the skate park hoping I'd know somewhere there Mike's
car pulled up and he got out. "Come on buddy lets get you home"
he smiled. "No man, fuck you, how am I supposed to trust you huh?
How do I know that you won't kick the shit out of me? Oh yeah you guys
are all nice at first but then you change when you get what you want."
Mike looked taken aback and I knew the drugs were still affecting me I
was spewing my deepest fears and feelings in the middle of the street.
Mike walked over and picked me up like I was a doll. He was pretty big
and had biceps the size of my head but I still decided to fight him punching
him as hard as I could in the chest. Mike just hugged me tighter to his
body and kept on telling me "everything's ok" He sat me in the
passenger seat and turned the locks so I couldn't get out. He drove back
to my house and we both walked towards the house, he kept a close eye
on me afraid I would run at any minute. My Mam greeted me with tears in
her eyes. "I'm sorry baby, I let you down. But I haven't drank a
drop in nearly 2 weeks. Me and Mike are serious and he knows I have a
problem and were facing it together." I felt bad for hurting her
and collapsed in her arms crying. "I'm sorry" I cried over and
over again.
Mike and my Mam hugged for a second before Mike turned to me "Riley,
we're goin to get you some help. We'll find a therapist for you to talk
to and we'll help you stay clean and happy". Mikes words were over
the top but I felt the love in them and smiled back "Thanks."
and Riley "I'll never hurt you, I promise" Mike looked deadly
serious and I knew he was telling the truth.
I had to make things right with Ryan but for now I was tired and pretty
hungry. My Mam fixed dinner and we all sat down together like a family
and I couldn't help but be happy.
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