Date: Wed, 4 Sep 2013 18:53:50 -0700 From: David Courson Subject: The Boy who Cried Sapphire Tears Chapter 16 To Meg, as always, thanks for helping me with the proofing. You find more mistakes that I can, so I am thankful for your set of eyes. To you guys, the reader: I know a lot of you are frustrated with the fact that it's been over a year since the last chaper was posted, and for that, I am sorry. My health is slowly getting back to normal, but a lifelong regimine of pills will be what I have to depend on. As for this chapter, I always felt that something was wrong, that was one reason why I lost intereste in the story. I was right. I was writing Todd like he was wuss. Then I realized, I needed to change his attitude. After I did so, I was able to feel so much better about this chapter. As for the next chapter, I don't know when it will be out...I have a job now here in town and I have a lot of distractions. I hope that some of my writer's block has left and I'll be thinking on the next chapter and get working on it soon. I hope to finish book 2 by the end of the year, and I need to keep working if that is to happen. Please forgive me for taking my time with this chapter. I hope to do much better on the following chapters in the future. The Boy Who Cried Sapphire Tears – Chapter 16 Todd woke on the bed of the CT machine, but he didn't remember being pulled out. The last of his memories was of sliding inside the machine for a scan of his brain. He felt a stethoscope on his chest and felt groggy, but otherwise, fine. "What happened?" Todd asked, eyes slitting open with sleepiness. "Your heart stopped again," the doctor standing over Todd said. "It's not me...It's Blake," Todd said, then fell back asleep. About half an hour later, Todd woke up in a busy room. He could hear people talking and walking in a hurried manner. He didn't know what was going on and tried to remember where he was. He kept his eyes closed, trying to think and remember. Then it all hit him. He was at the hospital. He opened his eyes and the lights were too bright, causing him to close them again. "Oh, God," he whispered. "Todd?" He heard a familiar voice call, then felt his hand being held. "Robert?" Todd called. "Yeah, it's me, buddy," Robert said, before putting his hand on Todd's forehead. "What happened?" Todd asked. "Your heart stopped again," Robert said, moving his hand to Todd's chest to feel for a steady beat of Todd's heart. "It wasn't mine...it was Blake's. His heart stopped. Is he okay?" Todd opened his eyes, forgetting about the brightness, to watch Robert's face. Twenty minutes after Blake was in the operating room, the doctor finally came out looking for someone to speak for Blake for the procedures that needed to be done. When the doctor saw that Papa was with the party the nurse pointed out, he made a beeline straight for him. "Norman," the doctor called, hand outstretched for a shake. Papa grabbed it and said, "Tom. How's Blake and Bruce?" "Dr. Burns is in with Bruce. Don't worry, she's good. Are you speaking for Blake?" Dr. Stuart asked. "His mom and dad are on the way. They should be here in a couple hours. Oliver's been talking to them on the phone. We can call them if needed." "Do that, please, Norman. Blake's got some major surgery ahead of him." Papa called over Oliver and asked him to call Don for Dr. Stuart. When Don was on the phone, Dr. Stuart started telling of Blake's problems. "As of now," the doctor started, "he hit his head pretty hard, causing his brain to swell. We're gonna have to drill a hole to help relieve the pressure." Listening from the speaker phone, both Christine and Pax covered their mouths at hearing this. "We had to put in a chest tube because of his punctured lung...he has two broken ribs and both of his thighs are crushed. I'm also sorry to say..." the doctor hesitated for only a split second "... his neck is broken." "Broken?" Pax asked, not being able to control his surprise. "Is he paralyzed?" Christine asked through quivering lips. "Right now, we're not sure. The X-Rays show a clean break and swelling in the cord, but until we get in there, we won't know if there is any damage to the spinal cord," the doctor explained. "Oh, God," Christine said, letting a tear to fall from her eye. "Doctor, do what you need to do. We'll be there in a couple of hours," Don said. "Thank you, Mr. Blyth, we'll do all we can." A moment later, the line went dead. Don pulled his wife into him as she cried on his shoulder. Two hours and twelve minutes later, they landed in Missoula with Oliver waiting to drive them to the hospital. Once they arrived, they checked with the nurses' station, showing their guardianship paperwork, explaining their unusual but amazing relationship to Blake, before finally allowing the waiting game to begin. Once Todd was told of Blake's injuries, his eyes couldn't help but water. It didn't even register that he had felt Blake's pain. All he could think of was that Blake might be paralyzed if he survived the surgery. After two hours of being awake, Todd felt no pain, but the bruises were still there to remind him of what he had been through earlier in the night. When the doctor insisted he stay overnight, Todd refused and insisted in leaving. Finally giving in, the doctor stopped him long enough to sign the release papers, so to avoid holding the hospital liable for any other injuries resulting from his release. Robert agreed with the doctor, but wasn't about to argue with Todd. After they flagged down a taxi, Todd grabbed his phone and called his dad. Two rings sounded before Don answered. He wanted to know how Todd was feeling, but all Todd could do was ask about Blake. Once the news of Blake's current condition was told to him by his father, Todd went silent. "Todd are you still with me?" his father asked. "Yeah," Todd said, voice steady. His eyes were looking out of the taxi window, but he wasn't seeing anything. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." "Todd, don't worry about coming yet. Things might be just fine," his father said. "They might not be, and I won't miss being with Blake if they don't," Todd said, anger filling his voice, not as his father, but at the situation. "Look, dad, I know you mean well, but I don't want to miss out on the last minutes Blake might have, if something bad happens. I want to be there, to hold his hand, if I can...just in case." Don was about to protest, but looked at his wife and sighed. "Youre right. You should be here—just in case. But we all know he'll be fine." He put optimism in his voice in hopes that it would calm his son. "When I get home, I'm gonna pack and look for a flight. I'll be there tomorrow night, at the latest." "Okay," Don said. "Try and get some sleep if you can." "I'll see what I can do," Todd said. "See you guys tomorrow." Todd hung up and the taxi came to a stop at their building. Robert paid the fare and they headed inside. The elevator ride to the Penthouse was very tense to Robert, but very slow for Todd. As soon as the chime sounded, Todd started walking before the doors opened. He had to pause for a second and then, once clear of the door, huffed out in frustration. Todd noticed the lights on in the kitchen, so he took the longer way around to his bedroom. His first stop was his closet to grab a suitcase. Throwing the case on the bed, he unzipped it and headed back to the closet to load up the suitcase with clothes. Once he was finished, he got on the computer and started looking for flights from New York to Missoula for the following day. He was only looking for a couple of minutes before his phone rang. It was Pax. "Hello?" Todd answered, keeping his eyes on the computer screen. "I've got a flight for you tomorrow. Private jet...leaves at 10:30. Be there an hour earlier." Pax was direct, but Todd could hear the concern in Pax's voice. Todd sighed deeply and said, "Thank you, Pax. You're a lifesaver." Changing the subject, he asked if there was any change with Blake. "Nothing yet. He's still in surgery. It's gonna be a while now." "Call me if something changes, okay?" Todd asked. "I will baby. Try and rest. We'll see you tomorrow night." "Thank, Pax. See you tomorrow." Todd hung up the phone and looked around the room. A flashing light on top of a building caught his attention and he stared off into the distance with his mind racing. Before long, he was shaking his head out of his daze after hearing someone call his name. "Yeah?" Todd asked, looking at the door and seeing Robert. "You okay?" Robert asked. Ricky was standing behind him, curious. "Yeah. My mind started to wander a bit. Pax got me a plane tomorrow. I need to be at LaGuardia by 9:30. Plane leaves an hour later." Robert and Ricky both stared at Todd for a moment, before Todd excused himself. He wanted to get a shower and try and relax a bit. Before he made it to the bathroom, Ricky got his attention. "I'll keep you and Blake in my prayers. I hope things will turn out for the best." Giving a small smile, Todd said, "Thanks, Ricky. Me, too," then headed in the bathroom. While in the shower, Todd stood under the hot water and let his brain take him where he knew he shouldn't go. He couldn't help it. He kept thinking the worst. Before he knew it, he broke down, crying as silently as he could. Fifteen minutes later, he turned off the water and dried off. Going into the bedroom, he noticed it was empty. Robert was somewhere else, and for once, Todd wasn't worried or cared. He got in his bed and grabbed his phone and started flipping through the pictures. After staring at Blake's pictures, he set his alarm and put his phone on the bedside table. A few minutes later, Todd heard the bedroom door open and knew that Robert was coming to bed. He closed his eyes and felt guilt creeping up inside him. Knowing that the love of his life is now in an operating room, halfway across the country, very possibly paralyzed, made him wish, for the first time ever, Robert had never been his roommate. His love for Blake at this very moment made him hate himself for sleeping with Robert all those times. Todd knew he had Blake's permission to do so, and during those times, he thought nothing of it, because Blake said he could do it—and because Blake was doing it too. It was an arrangement they both agreed to—rather reluctantly, but agreed to, nonetheless. But if it wasn't for his own stupid actions, no arrangement would have ever existed. Todd blamed himself for everything when it came to sleeping around, even if it was only with Robert. The loss of control for one quick blowjob—the fact that he told Blake, even though not telling Blake would have been harder to deal with. For the first time since becoming roommates with Robert, he wished he could take it all back. Todd wished he could be one hundred percent faithful to Blake. He felt like his heart was breaking for what he did, even with Blake's permission. Blake deserved better, and Todd vowed from this point forward, Blake would get it. A moment later, Todd felt the other side of the bed sink under Robert's weight. He was about to say something, but instead, his thought was cut short. "G'night, Todd," Robert said. Todd didn't feel him push up against his back, which is what he expected. Instead of answering, Todd pretended to be asleep, shame filling him with how he felt toward Robert. A short while later, Todd could hear the steady breathing of Robert in a deep sleep. A slight snore telling Todd that he was getting the rest he needed. Todd couldn't blame Robert. Blake wasn't his boyfriend. Robert didn't have anyone to worry about that night. Todd was the one worrying. He couldn't help but think of the worst case scenario. All he kept hoping for was that Blake was going to be okay. Crushed legs—no problem. Todd would be there to help him walk again. Yeah, it might be painful for Blake, but Todd would not leave his side, if that's what was called for. Punctured lung—the doctors would surely fix that. He'd be breathing just fine, and his lung would be repaired. Cut forehead—again, the doctors would stitch him up. Yeah, he might have a scar, but Todd would call it his lucky scar. He would remind Blake that not even death could take them apart, and that he's already escaped the grip of death once. Yeah, he'd call it Blake's lucky scar. Broken neck—this is what was worrying Todd the most. No one knew if any damage to the spinal cord was present. Surely the doctors would know by now. Surely they would have sent a nurse out to tell mom and dad if there were problems with his spinal cord. Surely, being doctors, they know what to look for if someone is paralyzed. Todd couldn't wait. He got up and tiptoed into the bathroom, bringing his phone with him. He called his dad and as soon as he answered, Todd was questioning him about Blake. "We haven't heard anything yet, Todd. But no news is good news, right? I'm sure if something had happened, they would have told us. Don't give up hope. Think good things," Don said. "I just can't sleep and I can't turn my brain off. I just wanted to check in...see if there was any change." "I know. You'll be the first call I make—good news or—well, I'll call you first," Don said, kicking himself for his remark. "I know, dad. I love you," Todd said. "Your mother and I love you too, son. Try and get some sleep," Don said. "I will, Dad," Todd said, trying to stifle a yawn at that very moment. Todd hung up the phone and headed back to bed, carefully climbing in his side and dozing off within minutes. His phone woke him, seemingly minutes later, but in reality, at least three hours had passed. He grabbed his phone and saw the time read 8:01 a.m. He pressed the cancel button on the touch screen and sat up. Todd turned his head and saw the Robert was already up and in the shower. Todd threw on his jeans and headed into the kitchen for something to eat. Opening the fridge, he saw an apple and grabbed it. He poured himself some milk and headed back to his room. When he arrived, Robert was walking out of the bathroom, underwear already on. Todd sat at the end of the bed and watched as Robert got dressed. "What are you gonna do this weekend?" he asked Robert. "Just hang around here, I guess. Do some studying, I guess." "You wanna come with me?" Todd asked. "I don't have the money for a ticket," Robert said. "Pax has a private jet reserved, waiting on me. I can get you a ticket home, or Pax will insist you take the plane back. You won't have to spend any money," Todd explained. He saw the look of hesitation in Robert's face and added, "And I'd like the company." Robert looked at Todd and nodded. "Let me pack a bag and call my parents." "I'm gonna get a shower. Be out shortly," Todd said heading in the bathroom. Five minutes later, Todd was out of the shower, getting dressed as Robert finished packing his bag. As they left, they saw Tony in the kitchen and Todd explained what was going on. After chatting for a couple minutes, with Tony expressing his feelings toward Blake's situation, he told Todd that he had a feeling that everything would come out fine. Todd said "thanks" and he and Robert headed down to the street An hour and fifteen minutes later, with traffic being worse than usual, they arrived at the airport and had to rush to get to the plane. Todd knew their plane left at 10:30, but it had to get into position, so that meant they had to be on it earlier. They found the terminal and were escorted onto the plane just in time to keep their take off. As they arrived on the plane, the flight attendant, a very handsome guy, about twenty five or so, took their bags and placed them safely in the luggage compartment in the rear of the plane. Normally, Todd would have studied such a guy based on his looks and body, but today, he didn't want to think of anything. He didn't want to even be on this plane...at least, not for the reason he was there. He stepped to the rear of the plane and dropped down on one of the couches. Robert decided to sit about halfway down, letting Todd keep the space he needed without feeling suffocated. "Morning, gentlemen. My name is James and I'll be your flight attendant today. Can I get you anything?" Todd looked at James, but shook his head. "A Coke, please," Robert said. "How long is the flight?" "A little over six hours." James checked his watch and saw they still had ten minutes before take-off. "I'll bring it out in a minute." Robert sat back in his chair as James headed to the front of the plane. Looking around, Robert couldn't help but stare at Todd and imagine how, under happier circumstances, he would be really excited, as this was his first time on a private jet. Instead, his excitement wasn't registering. Worry was more in his mind than anything else. Robert closed his eyes and said a prayer for Blake and Todd, both. He prayed that Blake would wake up; that Blake would be some kind of miracle. And he prayed that if Blake didn't wake up, Todd would be okay and be able to survive the sadness. Todd, on the other hand, was doing everything he could to keep his mind blank. He didn't want to think of anything. He tried to stay positive and hope for the best. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted his father for information. A moment later, his phone beeped. `He's out of surgery and in recovery. Still waiting on more news.' `I'm on the plane. Robert is with me. About to take off. See you in six hours.' Todd responded. Within ten minutes, they were moving to the runway, and another twenty minutes, they were airborne. About an hour into the flight, Todd dozed off. He didn't dream, which he was thankful for. He was so exhausted, that he needed rest, and that's exactly what he got. It wasn't long before Robert was sleeping just as peacefully in his chair. For the final two hours, Todd was awake, playing with his phone. He was playing games and then he would go to his photo or movie gallery and see Blake's smile. There was one video that Todd kept watching over and over. Blake and Todd were in the penthouse in their bed. Everyone else was gone so they had the place to themselves. They had just finished making love and Blake brought them a couple of sandwiches to get their energy back. As Blake picked up his sandwich, Todd picked up his phone and turned on the camcorder. "What are you doin'?" Blake asked, mouth full of food. "Recording the most beautiful man in the world," Todd replied. "Well, make sure you keep the camera above the waist. Nobody needs to see what's down there but you," Blake said, winking and smiling to the camera before taking another bite. As he did, Todd move the phone down to Blake's crotch...too quick to see anything, but Blake panicked, nonetheless and covered himself. Todd could be heard laughing in the background. "Ass," Blake said as he smacked Todd on his arm. "Smile for me," Todd crooned. "I'm eating," Blake responded. "I don't care. I wanna see you smile." "What's so special about my smile," Blake asked, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. "It makes me happy," Todd said before taking a chip and popping it into his mouth. "If I smile, will you turn that off and eat?" Blake asked. "I wanna get more video of you," Todd said. "We can get more after we eat," Blake said. "Fine! I'll turn it off and eat if you give me a real smile." Blake gave the biggest smile he could, but it wasn't sincere. He was teasing Todd with a theatrical smile. "That's not your real smile," Todd said. "But it's a smile," Blake said. Blake stayed in frame of the camera but they both fell silent. Blake never moved his eyes from Todd's face, but kept his face deliberately neutral. After about ten seconds, Todd said three little words. A moment later, a smile crept across Blake's lips. "That's what I was looking for," Todd said, triumphantly. After Todd's declaration in the video, the Todd watching the video paused it to see that beautiful smile he fell in love with. Between watching the 28 second video repeatedly and pausing to stare at Blake, he ran the battery of his phone down to five percent. They would be landing in less than half an hour, so Todd turned off his phone and put it away. Closing his eyes, he replayed the video over in his mind as many times as he could until they touched down. Inside the airport, he spotted his mom and dad. As he got closer, his father held his arms out for Todd to fall into. A moment later, he did. Don heard a sob escape, even though Todd was trying to hold it back. He had to keep telling himself to stay positive. Even though he kept his emotion in check all morning, he couldn't help but let a little bit of it escape being in his father's arms. As Don and Todd hugged, Robert introduced himself to Christine. Pulling out of the hug, Todd stepped back and wiped his eyes and apologized to Robert and made the introductions. After Robert shook both Christine and Don's hand and Todd hugged his mom, they started walking to the entrance. "How's he doing?" Todd asked. "No change," Christine answered. "But you being here might help. Hopefully, he'll know you're here. We all gotta stay strong and be patient." Todd saw something there that was odd. As Christine said her last statement, she gave steely eyes to her husband. Todd figured it wasn't anything for him to inquire about, but it was a weird gesture. "I hope so," Todd said, putting his arm around his mom as they walked through the airport exit. Many a time Todd walked through those doors with a huge smile on his face and the beauty of the mountains in his eyes. This time, he saw the mountains, but couldn't see anything but snow covered hills. The mountains were Blake's favorite part of living in Montana, and that only reminded Todd of the reason for his visit—to maybe say goodbye to the love of his life. On the drive to the hospital, Don gave Todd a warning as to Blake's physical condition. "He's pretty beat up. The doctors are giving him some pain meds every few hours to keep him comfortable, but he looks worse than he is. His face is black and blue, his head is wrapped because of the surgery, and, also, both of his legs are wrapped. They had to place titanium rods and other things in his legs to fix the bones." "Don't forget about the tube, Don," Christine said, reminding him. "And there's a tube in his chest to drain any fluid that accumulates. The doctors are leaving it in for a couple of days to make sure they got it all." Hearing his father, Todd could only picture the worst thing imaginable. He hoped his imagination was worse than the real thing. If Blake looks anything like what Todd was imagining, he would probably vomit from the site, out of shock. He closed his eyes and put his head back on the headrest and gave a deep exhale. The rest of the ride to the hospital was quiet. Once they arrived, Don and Christine led Todd and Robert to the waiting room where they saw everyone, sitting with blank faces, not believing what was happening. When Pax spotted the four of them, he got up and took Todd in a hug. "Hey, baby," Pax said, wrapping his arms around Todd. "Hey, Pax," Todd said, putting his arms around his friend. "Any change," Don asked. Todd felt Pax shake his head. He closed his eyes and prayed for that miracle to come. Pulling out of the hug, he walked the two steps to Tristian and hugged him hello. After doing so, he introduced Robert to everyone, and reintroduced him to Pax. Everyone from the ranch was also there, and Mama and Papa walked over. Todd hugged them both and they said a few kind words, trying to help Todd feel better. It didn't work. As everyone else had small talk, to catch up on what the doctors were saying, Todd couldn't handle hearing any more. "Where is he?" Todd asked, interrupting their conversation. "I need to see him." The quiet was so loud, Todd had to resist plugging his hear with his palms. He saw Pax nod and his mother grabbed his hand. "I'll take you to him, honey." Todd allowed himself to be led to Blake's room. He still tried not to feel anything, but knew that wouldn't last. As soon as his eyes rested on Blake, the emotion would come flooding back. He knew this was going to happen, and he tried to prepare himself for it. When they arrived at Blake's door, Christine looked at her son and asked, "Do you want me to come in with you?" He thought for a second and decided against it. "No. It's okay, mom. Let me go in alone for a few minutes, okay?" Christine raised her hand and placed it on Todd's cheek. "Okay, son. We'll be right down the hall if you need us." Todd placed his hand atop hers and gave a faint smile. A moment later, she turned and walked back to the waiting room. Todd turned to the door and inhaled heavily and prepared himself for what was about to come. He slowly opened the door, as if he was trying to sneak back into the house after curfew. He was acting as if he was afraid of waking Blake up. When he was able to see inside, a rush of nausea filled his stomach at the sight of Blake. He backed up and turned his head as he closed his eyes. His breathing became heavy. His mind was running over the flash of Blake that Todd saw to try and prepare him again to what Blake was going through. He steadied himself again and, this time, opened the door and walked in. He kept his eyes forward until he felt the door stop moving, letting him know it was closed. After that, he turned and saw Blake, laying in the bed, helpless. As he studied his boyfriend, Todd's eyes began to fill with tears. Laying on the bed was the man he loved, all broken and weak. His head was wrapped in a white bandage, many layers thick. The part of his head that wasn't covered was bald. He assumed that Blake was completely without hair. In his mouth was a tube that connected to two more tubes that lead to a machine. In this machine, there was a bag-like accordion that was inflating and deflating, breathing for Blake. For every movement of the bag, Blake either inhaled or exhaled. Todd watched Blake's chest move up and down, rhythmically—not naturally. Out of the right side of Blake's chest was a tube that dipped down below the bed. The end that entered Blake was bandaged, but the tube was clear. Todd could see a light amber liquid flow down the tube. One drop at a time, it ran down the tube, dipping below the bed. As Todd walked to the left side of the bed, he saw a jar full of the liquid. He immediately stepped back, as nausea hit him again. Seeing the jar full of a bodily fluid didn't sit well with his stomach. For the first time since arriving in the room, he noticed a chair on Blake's left side. Obviously, someone had been visiting with Blake since his return from surgery. Todd walked over to the chair and sat. Will all the tubes and IVs, he was afraid of touching Blake, for fear of causing him pain. On realizing what he was thinking, he closed his eyes and realized that Blake couldn't feel anything—pain or happiness. Two thick tears fell down his cheeks and landed on his jeans. Todd was just about to touch Blake's hand when the door opened. He jerked his hand back and looked at the nurse walking in the room. "Who are you?" she asked. "I'm Todd," he said a moment later under her intense stare. "How do you know Blake?" she asked, even more apprehensive. Todd turned to look at Blake's face. "He's my...boyfriend," he said, hesitating a bit. The nurse was a little shocked at the answer and only said, "Oh." Realizing that Todd wasn't there under any harmful means, she continued on her assignment. She went to his IV stand and replaced a bag. Unplugging the empty bag, she pushed the tube into the new bag and adjusted the machine the IV tube fed into. "What is that?" Todd asked. Glancing at Todd for a second, she looked back at the machine and pushed some buttons and answered. "It's Mannitol. It's to help the swelling in his brain. After surgery, the swelling was still too much to replace the skull piece the doctor removed. After his swelling goes down, he'll get another surgery to replace the skull." "You mean, his brain is visible?" Todd asked, surprised, but scared. "Technically, it could be, yes. But they stitched his scalp back in place and covered his head with a helmet-like covering to protect it. Everything should be back to normal in a few days...maybe a week." While there, she also took his vital signs. His blood pressure was good, his heartbeat and temperature were both fine as well. "Can I touch him?" Todd asked, looking at Blake's face. "I'm sorry?" the nurse said, not hearing Todd. "I'm afraid I'll hurt him," he said, looking at her. "Is it okay if I hold his hand?" Her face softened even more and softly said, "Sure. Right now, he can't feel anything, that we know of. Hopefully, he'll feel you holding his hand and come back to us." Todd sat back down and grabbed Blake's hand. It was just as warm as it always was. He moved his chair closer and pulled Blake's hand up to meet his lips. As he did, more tears filled his eyes. A moment later, he blinked, quickly, to dispel the tears that formed. As they fell away, no others came to replace them. Todd wasn't sure if it was his will to be strong for Blake or his understanding that it really wasn't as bad as it seemed. The nurse said that maybe a week, his brain will be back to normal. Maybe then, he'll be back to normal and wake up. The nurse finished up her duties for the moment and walked to Todd's side. She placed her hand on his shoulder and said, "I'm so sorry." Todd nodded his head and said, "It's okay. He'll come back. He's a fighter." Hope already started filling him, making him believe his own words. To Be Continued...