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Chapter 10

Sadness is a blessing




Jonah had just kissed me in the middle of the cafeteria. He was still holding the back of my head and looking into my eyes. Everyone was watching as if they were watching some shocking scene that they never thought would ever happen. I didn't think it would happen.

"This is some bull," Adrian stated under his breath.

"What the..." Rebecca started.

"Um...I should go..." Jackie stated.

He got up off the table. When he got up it was like everyone else had got up off the table with him. Everyone was shocked. I wasn't sure any of them was sure what they had just seen. I saw other people watching us too. Everyone watched the popular table anyway at school.

Everyone got up off the table but Jonah didn't even seem to notice. I thought we were alone at the table then I realized Ozzie. He had his chin rested in his palms and was leaning over with this obsessive look.

"That was so FUCKING hot," Ozzie stated.

Jonah smiled at me, "It really was."

I looked over at Ozzie who was pretty much still glaring. He wasn't moving. It was like he was watching a porn or something.

"Ozzie can I have a moment."


He still didn't move. He didn't even blink.

"Alone...with Jonah. Can you like leave?"

He seemed to snap out of his trance all of a sudden, "Oh sure sure...um...sure...Jesus that was hot. God bless you Quashie."
God bless me? I could do nothing but laugh as he walked away.

I turned to Jonah. He was still looking at me. The bell had rung and the cafeteria was clearing out. I waited patiently until it was just the two of us in the cafeteria. Everyone stared as they were walking out.

"What was that about?" I asked Jonah.

"Shit you didn't like it..."

He moved his hand but I immediately grabbed it.

"No...fuck no...I loved it. It's just...wow. I had no idea..."

"People walk around calling you an angel every day?" he asked.

"No...it's just damn..."

I couldn't stop smiling. How he had done it shocked me. How he didn't give a FUCK where we were or who was watching turned me on. I realized that Jonah wasn't shy. He was awkward. There was definitely a huge difference between the two. He could have cared less who was looking when he kissed me. Adrian wouldn't have done that in a MILLION years.

"I was tired of beating around the bush," he stated, "You weren't getting the clue. Quashie I want you. Adrian said obsessed. He was right. I am obsessed with you."
"Oh my god."

"I want you to think about being with me..."

"Yes! GOD YES!"

"Think about it," he stated laughing, "I'm a complex soul. I don't want you to jump into something you aren't sure of. I'll come visit you tonight in your room and you can answer me then."

He got up and he kissed me on my cheek.

I nearly fainted as he did it.




"How the fuck did you get so lucky?" Ozzie asked me as I drove him home at the end of the day.

I was trying to hide my excitement which was hard with Ozzie there.

"How are people responding?"

"The way you think they would," Ozzie stated, "I think you guys have single-handedly managed to ruin any chance of popularity that we would ever have. But hell that was fucking worth it. That kiss was legend."
I put my hand on my lips.

I could still taste the sweet cinnamon.

"Am I dreaming?" I asked.

He shook his head, "Hell not that really happened. So in gym class Jackie was of course going in on Jonah. I overheard everything."
`What were they talking about?"

"Jackie was trying to convince Jonah to say that he was just joking. He was trying to convince him to save face to the school. As if what happened in the cafeteria could be switched up in anyway."

"What did Jonah say?"

"He's wasn't having it. He could care less. You used to call me the honeybadger. That is the real honeybadger. And honeybadger doesn't give a shit!"

We laughed in the car at the thought of Jonah not giving a shit about Jackie's opinion. Jonah didn't give a shit about it.





"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I heard Pristine's voice dig into me as soon as I walked into the house. The look on her face was priceless.

When I turned to my right I could see Aaryn standing right next to Pristine. Mr. Hill was standing in the back. I was barraged as soon as I walked in the door. It was clear that Aaryn had told Pristine what happened in the cafeteria. Aaryn had this smirk on her face that I just wanted to slap off.

"I should go," Ozzie stated.

He ran out of the door fast. I was left alone in the middle of the mansion entryway with Pristine's eyes burning into me.

"Pristine, maybe we should calm down for a minute," Mr. Hill started.

"Shut up!" she screamed at him.

Mr. Hill immediately did as his wife stated. It was clear now more than ever who wore the pants in this household. I had never seen so much anger in Pristine's eyes as when she was looking at me.

Pristine looked at me, "I take you in...raise me as my own SON and this is how you repay me? Permanently staining this family's name by kissing your brother."
"He is not my brother," I said raising an eyebrow.

I was confused by her thought process. Jonah and I met a few months ago. We weren't by any means even related. Hell we didn't even grow up together. Pristine never adopted me. How the fuck does she come up with the term brother. She was being dramatic I knew. She was trying to make this sound a lot worse than it really was.

"Close enough!" she stated, "You seduced him!"
"I did what?" I asked looking over at Aaryn.

Aaryn immediately pushed her way into the conversation, "He kissed Jonah."

That was such a lie. Jonah kissed me. It didn't even fucking matter though. I wasn't going to throw Jonah under the bus. I wasn't like Aaryn.

"Look this is something we both wanted," I stated standing my ground.

"You are out of here," Pristine stated, "I'm sending you to boarding school overseas to finish out the school year."

"What? There is no way I'm going."

"I'm your guardian. I decide where you go..."

"He's not going anywhere."

It was Jonah. He had walked into the room. He must have been listening to the entire conversation from the hallway. He walked into the room and he had that honeybadger look on his face.

Pristine looked over at him. The tension between the two was priceless.

Pristine wasn't backing down, "I decide where he goes."

"If he leaves, then I leave and we won't be going to boarding school. You'll be giving him his FULL inheritance."


I hadn't even thought about the inheritance from my parents. How did Jonah know about that?

"That inheritance is half mine, darling," Pristine stated, "For raising him all these years."

"No it's not," Jonah stated, "I read the paperwork. All that money is Quashie's. There were millions of dollars in it. And with your bad investment strategies lately that is what you were depending on wasn't it? Mother?"

"Millions?" I gagged.

Jonah nodded, "Millions. Your parents didn't live in grandeur like the Hills. They saved their money...they saved it for you. They were humble people. When you turn 18 you inherit everything."
"I get half!" Pristine stated.

"That's up to Quashie!" Jonah barked back, "And if you want two cents out of that money I would suggest you not get on Quashie's bad side. He will be staying in this house and you won't bother us about our lives again."


"You are blackmailing me. Your own mother."

"Exactly...c'mon Quashie you aren't going anywhere."

Jonah grabbed my hand and HELD it as he led me away. Pristine's face had damn near hit the ground but she didn't do anything. I thought I was in the twilight zone. No one had EVER shut down Pristine like this.



I thought it was all a dream. I thought everything that happened was a dream. Me inheriting all this money that I never knew existed on my 18th birthday was one thing but Jonah being here for me was something completely different. It made sense now why the Hills took me in. It was all for money. They assumed they would get some of that inheritance.

I woke up the next morning to the love of my life...Jonah.

He was asleep but me moving probably woke him up.

"Good morning," Jonah stated.

His face...his beautiful face was the perfection of an early morning. I leaned over and kissed him. I was in heaven.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Great...next to you."

We had spent most of the night just talking. I spent most it talking about myself but he seemed so interested. He listened so intently and when night came he held me.

"We should just cut class and stay in bed all day," I stated.

"I wish. I have something important going on at school today, get up."

"What's so important?"


"What about Lauren?"

"I'm worried about her...I'm really worried about her," Jonah stated, already standing up and going to my bathroom.

I found it cute when I noticed that he had a toothbrush in my bathroom. I followed him. The talk of Lauren was definitely something that I was interested in as well. He started brushing and looking back at me.

"I am too...I've been seeing less and less of her."
"I feel like she might hurt herself," he stated shaking his head, "I have to avoid this. I had a meeting with the guidance counselors yesterday. I told them about the constant bullying going on in the school. Yesterday a few girls broke into her locker and cut up all her clothes."

"Oh my god."

He spit into the sink after brushing and looked over at me, "I don't plan on sitting around. I came back to make a difference in her life. Not just in Lauren's life but in the life of all the kids who are getting bullied. We need to stop this."

"What's the plan."

"An assembly at first. I'm going to confront the bullies..."

"You do realize the bullies are your brother and his friends?" I asked.

"Jackie has a good heart," Jonah stated, "He's lost his way. Hopefully we can bring him back. Don't you get it Jonah? This is the opportunity I have to make a difference. I need your support."

"I support you 100 percent...isn't that what boyfriends are for?"

He smiled.

"So are we together?"
"You had me at hello..." I joked.

He leaned forward and kissed me. It was just like Heaven to have him kissing me like this. Where the FUCK did this boy come from? He called me angel but he appeared out of no where like a guardian angel.





"What the fuck is this assembly about?" Ozzie stated.

He looked annoyed as did everyone else in the assembly. It was amazing to see everyone sitting around not having any idea what this is about.

"Have you seen Lauren?"

"Hell no. That girl wouldn't get through the door without getting bullied," Ozzie stated shaking his head, "She is so skipping this."



I shook my head. It would have been nice for her to know that her brother had set up this assembly for her. I was sure she would hear about it though. It was important to her.

I sat waiting for everything to start and then noticed someone sitting next to me in the auditorium. I turned to my right to see Adrian. He sat down and didn't say a word. I almost knew exactly where this was headed.

He leaned over and whispered, "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"You are dating a crazy guy," Adrian stated, "I don't like him. Did you see how he put you on blast in the cafeteria? Everyone is talking about it. I tried so hard to get you accepted in the popular crew and he ruined EVERYTHING."

"You were the one who got Jackie to open up to me huh?" I asked.

"Yes. People finally knew who you were. Then Jonah comes along and..."

"I'm back to ground zero..."

"Exactly. I'm glad you see it."
I shook my head and smiled, "That's fine. I'm at ground zero with someone who isn't ashamed of being with me. I'm at ground zero with someone who could possibly say he loved me one day. You can stay at your top floor...how lonely it is at the top."


"Shh...it's starting.

The principal was standing there and Adrian let out this irritated gulp. It was so awkward sitting next to him. I didn't want Jonah think anything was going on between Adrian and I. There was no way in Hell I was going back to being someone's sex buddy. Adrian needed to get that into his brain.

The principal started, "I'd like to thank everyone for attending today. I called the entire school here because there is a serious issue that is being brought to my attention. That issue is bullying and I'd like to present a new student of ours that has something important to say on the topic."

At that moment Jonah came out.

He didn't get much of any applause. People probably remembered what had just happened yesterday. There were a ton of whispers.

Jonah looked good standing up there on the podium. He did seem a little anxious in front of the whole school.

"I came to talk about bullying and the issues we are having within our own school. Roger Ebert stated once, `Why are people bullied? Because they are different. How? It doesn't matter'. All of us here have some sort of insecurities. All of us have something about ourselves that is not going to be so socially accepted if people knew about it..."


I turned quickly to find out who had said it. I was almost jumping out of my seat but was quickly pulled back down by Ozzie. I couldn't believe they were disrespecting him like this.

Jonah didn't let the outburst effect him, "I've always been different. I never wanted what everyone else wanted. I was sure that I could be bullied but bullying is not an action. Bullying is a mindstate. No one can make you feel inferior than you really are unless you already feel that way. Bullying is running rampant in this school and my own sister has been a victim of it. I encourage you all to realize that we are all different people. Calling someone weird, calling someone fag, calling someone a nigger or anything like that can create a wall. And each blow you throw to that person is going to be a wall and soon enough that wall is going to surround that person and they will find it hard to let anyone in."



I saw who was saying it now.

The bullshit had come over from Aaryn. Her and her friends were on the other side of the auditorium. I realized Jackie was there but he had his head down. He looked embarrassed but why even be near her if you were that embarrassed?

"I am starting a club. It's going to be the Anti-bully alliance. ABA. I'm hoping you all join but I can't force you. Ebert said it didn't matter and I am saying the same thing. I am a gay male...who happens to be in love with another gay male. If you are gay, straight, black, white, popular or geeky, I want to create a safe haven for you to go to. And that was all that I had to say."

"Did he just say he was in love with you?" Ozzie stated.

He did.

There was complete silence as Jonah walked off the stage. Fuck that. I didn't care if I was the only one who clapped. I stood up immediately and started clapping loudly. For a second I looked crazy as hell clapping there when no one else would. Jonah turned to me and smiled. However in the next moment Ozzie stood up.

Then there were others, not everyone...but enough to let him know that what he said was important. There were enough people clapping to let him know that this club was a good idea. That was all that mattered.



"Are you not talking to me at all anymore?" Adrian asked.

He had followed me out into the hallway after the assembly. I looked over at him embarrassed that he was doing this. He looked so desperate. Adrian was getting more and more desperate at times went by.

"I'm with someone new," I told him.

"We could still be friends..." he stated.

"With benefits huh?" I asked already know where he was going.

He looked annoyed almost knowing that I was being sarcastic.

"What can he give you that I can't?" he asked.

"Everything!" I said but realized how loud I was so I quickly lowered my voice, "Everything. There is nothing that you can give me. You are scared of your own shadow Adrian."

"Well I'm here for you," he stated, "Can you say the same for him? One day you wake up and he'll be gone. What will you do then?"

There it was. It was the thing I had been scared of this whole time.

Jonah was a free spirit. Nothing could hold him down.

One day I could wake up and Jonah could definitely be gone.

It made me worry, "I'll deal with it when it happens."

"No you won't. You'll break down and I'll have to pick up all the pieces."

"What's going on here?" a voice said.

I turned to see Jonah standing there.

"Nothing," I stated.

"How are you Adrian?" Jonah asked.

"I'm cool man," Adrian stated shortly.

"I hope you join my club," Jonah stated shaking off Adrian's cold shoulder, "I think it would be beneficial for you."

"Will Quashie be in it?" Adrian asked.

Jonah immediately put his hand over my shoulder and pulled me close, "Of course. My boyfriend will definitely be in it. Honorary member."
Adrian asked.

I nodded, "We made it official."

Adrian shook his head, "I'll be there then. Someone has to be consistent."
"What does that mean?" Jonah asked.

Adrian didn't get the chance to answer. Ozzie was walking up to us. He looked a little worried and it was rare to see a serious face on Ozzie. He looked extremely...perplexed right now though.

"Did you guys hear?"
"Hear what?"

"Someone chained all the doors..."
"What do you mean chained the doors?" Jonah asked.

"Like Coach Carter. They chained the doors with locks. Like no one can leave."
Adrian shook his head, "Isn't that like a fire hazard?"

It was. It was pretty much illegal. Why the fuck would someone do that? All of a sudden I was just as perplexed as Ozzie was.

Ozzie thought about it, "They must have done it during the assembly...probably how no one noticed."

I noticed Jonah's face. There was some sort of...horror on his face. It cut deep. I knew it cut really deep. We all seemed to notice his face all of a sudden. He was horrified.

"No...no..." Jonah stated.

"Jonah..." I started.

He didn't reply. There was something horrible in the air. I felt myself immediately grabbing onto Jonah's hands. He was cold. It was like he was stunned

"You know something," Adrian started out, "What the fuck is happening?"

I grabbed his face. His cheeks had gone red.

"Jonah what's happening?"

"I didn't think this would really happen..." he stated.

That was all he said and then I heard someone running. Someone was running down from the other side of the hallway towards the front entrance. I noticed who it was almost immediately. It was Rebecca. She didn't have any shoes on. She was crying. She had panic in her eyes.

"Rebecca!" I grabbed her.

She tried to pull away, "GET OFF ME! GET OFF!"

"What's going on!"
"She has a fucking gun! Everyone's dying. God HELP US! GOD SAVE OUR SOULS! She's killing people...she's going to kill all of us!"
She had said it loud. I could hear gasps all through the hallways as they heard what Rebecca had to say. People were running already. They were running away from the front entrance.

"Who Rebecca?"