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romantic-adventure story than a sex story.
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written permission of the author, Sebastian McCormick.
Sorry it's been a while in posting this chapter. Thanks to Ray for his editing. It may be a few weeks before chapter 7 but it will arrive. - Sebastian
When I met Mark, at lunch, he looked really despondent. He said he wasn't feeling good and was going home.
"Oh, you want me to come home and look after you?"
"No. I'm just really tired."
"You sure?" I asked. He nodded. "Then I'll tell John that you're not going to tutor him today."
"No!" he exclaimed, "No. I've already told him. Later."
"Hey, LAF." LAF was a word I got from a story I'd read, LAF = Love Always Forever.
He smiled slightly, "LAF."
After math I saw John Jeffries, the jock that Mark had been tutoring.
"Hey, Josh. Say Josh, do you think you could tutor me? I'm looking for a new tutor."
"I thought Mark was tutoring you?"
"No way! I told him I wasn't going to be tutored by a fucking homo. God! So, how about you tutoring me?"
I was shocked. I was angry. I had thought about this a lot since Mark and I became boyfriends. You know would I run away. Mark said love was worth fighting for, so had Dad. I had our family support. If Mark was outed then I'd be next. Fuck it!
"No." I knew what my heart told me to say so I said it, "I don't tutor bigots, and CHICKEN-ASS FOOTBALL PLAYERS! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW DUMB AND BRAINLESS YOU ARE! YESTERDAY YOU SAID HE WAS YOUR FRIEND! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU! CHICK-ASS KIND." Now I am 5'9" and weight in at a whopping 146lbs. Skin & bones. John is 6'8' 300lbs solid muscle.
When you're angry it doesn't matter how geeky you are, you just are not logical. I was angry. I shoved Big John while I was yelling at him. A crowd quickly formed. I continued to shove and shout. I have no idea of what I was saying.
The next thing I knew Big John hit me hard with his blocking shoulder knocking the breath out of me. He picked me up, slung me over his shoulders and ran out of the school. No one followed - I guess they knew better.
He finally put me down at the passenger door to his car.
"Get in," he ordered.
I got in. We drove to a local park in silence.
"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?"
"I am dumb. The one person I choose to out Mark to is his boyfriend. I didn't want to do it. I really like him - a lot. Look, what I am going to say is really hard for me. I'm gay. I did something stupid once, and that's why I had to out Mark."
"What do you mean?"
"You're not going to tell any one, are you?
I shook my head no.
He turned to look out the driver's side window and began to cry. I reached across and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, John. I know what you're going through."
"No you don't! You're good looking - a real babe, just like Mark. Look at me - big and ugly! You have no idea how I feel!" I couldn't argue with that - John had a face that only a mother, or a lover could love.
"You're not as ugly as you think you are, and I am not as good-looking as you think I am. Mark, on the other hand, is a luscious babe. But I don't love Mark because of his looks." Silence. "You know he was totally scared to tutor you the first day?" I half giggled.
"Yeah he seemed sort of nervous."
"Yeah, before he went into the classroom, we talked. We joked, he said you looked big, mean and ugly. But the real reason for his nervousness, he confessed, was that he didn't want to fail you. Mark takes his tutoring so seriously, cuz if you don't pass, it's his fault. I was a bit nervous too, because I thought that if you got mad at him, you'd pound him into the ground. When he got home, he told me that you were the greatest, and he was so happy."
"I wondered why he went home today. You've devastated him. So I ask you, why? You say you're gay, and yet you hurt him. I'm not talking about outing him. Hell, we knew it would happen one day. I'm talking about not having him tutoring you."
Silence. I was getting pissed because I knew Mark needed me. "Look. Just take me home. Mark needs me now, more than you."
John started the car and drove me home in silence. I got out of the car and slammed the door. "Don't worry John, we won't out you. We'll take the heat. Oh, and thanks for not beating the shit out of me." I turned and went into the house.
I found Mark in bed. He'd been crying. I lay down next to him. "I love you. We'll get through this."
"I suck at tutoring."
"Hey, you suck pretty good." I tried to joke, and Mark gave me his "it's not funny" look.
"You know John is gay."
"He's gay. He didn't want to be the one to out you, so he decided to tell me. So, I told him we'd take the heat, and not out him. I also thanked him for not pounding me into the ground. You could say I got just a little upset with him." I told Mark about what happened.
"Josh, do you think he's being blackmailed into it. Oh, God! Josh if he is we need to help him."
"It's possible, but why? Why would some one want to out you?"
"Josh?" I heard Mandy calling me.
She, Delsine and Malcolm appeared at the door. "You're alive!"
I patted my chest, my arms, and my face. "Yep, seems like it," I laughed.
"Why is John Jeffries sitting in a car outside your house?"
"No. Jocks don't do that," laughed Delsine. I shot her a dirty look.
"Look, he's not a bad guy. He has issues. Mark, come on. He's still here. Obviously, he needs to talk. You guys make yourself comfortable."
Mark and I went out to John's car. John saw us, and looked down. I leaned into the car through the passenger's side window, while Mark went around to the driver's side.
"Hey," Mark said softly.
That was all it took for John to start crying again. "I'm sorry, Mark, I didn't mean all those things I said. I just didn't know what to do."
"S'okay," said Mark and he reached in and stroked John's cheeks wiping away some of the tears. John took Mark's hand, kissed it and held it to his cheek for a moment.
"I've wanted to do that since our first lesson."
Mark leant into the car, and gently kissed John on the cheek. "I've been wanting to do that since the second lesson." Mark is so sweet and caring.
"Okay, okay, time to .. uh .. talk. Instead of sitting in the car, come inside. We have a call in for an order of pizza."
"But your friends are here."
"They won't bite, besides they'll be watching a movie in the theater room, and we'll be in our room," I said.
"Besides, you can meet our son," said Mark as he opened the door and tugged on John's arm.
As we were walking up the drive to the house, Aunt Lil pulled up alongside us.
"I see you're alive and well. Care telling me why John was running with you out of the school?"
"He thought I was a football," I smiled. John was looking a bit worried. "Relax, John, she's my Aunt. Aunt Lil, this is our friend, John Jeffries. John, Aunt Lil. You're now officially part of the Keller-Hathaway clan."
"Okay, well John, welcome to the clan, but when you're at school, please, no more running with the football in the halls."
"Yes ma'am," said John, still a little unsure of how he was supposed to act.
"And John, that means around here, I am Aunt Lil," she smiled, "Bye, boys." She backed her car out of the drive.
"Man! That is so cool. Your aunt is the Vice-Principal."
We introduced John to everyone, including Marosh, who was a bit scared at first, but then decided that he liked John. Mandy, Malcolm and Delsine offered to go get the pizza and soda.
We went to our room and John began. "When I was sixteen I got a pc with a webcam." John sighed. "I was in this chat room and met this guy. I really liked him. One thing lead to another, and I exposed myself and took pictures and videos of me - naked and jacking off. He told me I was hot, and I guess I wanted to believe it."
"Anyway, it went on for a while, and then my parents found one of my videos. They were pretty upset. I went through a really big depression, my parents and I finally talked it out. They are okay about it, but I'm not. I have so few friends. If I was outed, then I'd have none. I'm big and strong, but I hate confrontations on a personal basis. Anyone else would have flattened you Josh. I couldn't."
I nodded my head. All he did was knock the breath out of me.
"I got an email the other day, and the person said I had to out Mark," he looked down, "I was supposed to tell people he gave me a blowjob or they would out me. In the end I couldn't do that - A video of me was attached to the email."
"Was it from the same person?"
"No. This was from a Yahoo address."
"Oh. Well the bad news is anyone can get a Yahoo email account, and there is no identity checking or verification. It's free. The good news is I have a friend who has a friend that works there. The only thing we need to know is how long the account has been opened and how often it is accessed."
"That won't tell us who the person is," commented Mark.
"Right, but if it's regularly used and it's been opened for awhile then at least we know that it wasn't opened for sending this email to John."
"And?" Mark queried.
"Well, we know this - whoever it is knows you and John. That pretty well narrows it down to about 1800 people, including students and staff. My bet is it's the same person - I think the odds are too high, that by chance, the original person gave the video and pictures to someone else who happens to know John and you. If the person has had the account opened for a while, then he gets other stuff there. We know he's gay. So he'd probably download a picture of young gay teenaged boys."
"John, you're wrong about not having any friends if people knew you were gay. There's us and the gang watching TV and all our parents," said Mark.
"Your team Captain too," I added.
"Justin? Justin's not gay," said John.
"I know, I tutor him. You think I got a little emotional with you - that is pale when compared with Justin's and my first meeting..."
My first encounter with Josh Keller was not a pleasant one. Coach Donnell told me he was going to have to scratch me if I didn't bring up my math and English grades. Ms. Tobler was setting me up with a student tutor. Inside I groaned, because I figured it would be some four-eyed, acne-faced geek.
"Come in Justin. Have a seat. Your tutor will be Josh Keller. Do you know him?"
"Well, he should be here soon, unfortunately, I haven't been able to speak to him yet about tutoring you, but I'm sure there won't be any problem."
A moment later this black-haired guy with startling light-blue eyes and a great smile stuck his head in the door, "Ms. Tobler, you wanted me?"
"Yes, Josh, come in,"
He came in the room all smiles, nodded at me and took a seat.
"Josh, this is Justin Bruski. He needs some help with his math and English and..."
Josh's face changed from a smile to anger. He stood up, and spoke softly, using a lot of control, "Absolutely, positively [I would prefer to use definitely, rather than positively, it is contradictory to say positively no] no. I will not, ever, tutor his kind, and you should know that." He turned and looked at me, then back at Ms Tobler, "Sorry, you'll have to get someone else. This is not negotiable. May I go please?"
"Josh, he really needs your help."
"Tough. He and his kind could be dying of thirst and I wouldn't give them the sweat off my balls. May I leave?" He stood and Ms. Tobler nodded. She was not pleased.
"Josh, what do you mean my kind?"
"I only help people who care about others. Qui vult dare parva non debet magna rogare. Multi famam, conscientiam pauci verentur," he said and left.
"What did he say?" I asked completely confused.
"He who wishes to give little shouldn't ask for much. Many fear their reputation, few their conscience. I'm sorry Justin. I honestly thought he would love to help. Apparently, I was wrong. I'm sure we can find someone else. Meanwhile, go on to class, and I'll send for you when I have someone."
I left the office, and headed towards study hall, when I saw Josh sitting on the floor in front of a locker he saw me and quickly got up turned away. I got the feeling he had been crying. He looked like he was wiping away tears. He opened the locker and took out a backpack.
I walked over to him.
"I'm not that way you know. I do care about people - I care about all my friends," I said.
"Name one person you hang with that's in accelerated classes," he said not looking at me.
"None. Okay, name one person you know who is a member of the computer club, drama club, debating team, or school paper."
"My point exactly. You're part of the "IN" crowd. The cool people - hell you're the damn leader of them! If someone is geeky, or a little different from you - if they aren't like what you think they should be or act like, then that person is someone you and your friends love to torment, make fun of, ridicule. I suppose it gives you some perverse pleasure, or feeling of superiority."
"I never tormented anyone. I-"
"Liar. This conversation is over."
"You calling me a liar!" I said angrily.
"Yeah, I am. Tell me, Bruski. Where were you when Jerry Walsh died? Where were you when he needed a real friend? Multi famam, conscientiam pauci verentur," he said, "I was at the hospital - he died alone - I was the only one. He never did anything to you or your kind. His only sin was that he loved Brad. Not you or your kind! All you cared about was your reputation. I'm the Wildcat Quarterback! I saw you laughing when Bill Masters humiliated Jerry, by asking him to suck his cock. YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED IT! So fuck you! And fuck your friends."
Josh slammed the locker door, turned and left.
I knew Jerry Walsh. He had been a friend until the rumors started. Josh was right. At the time, I was trying to protect my image. People would have thought I was gay. I'm not. A lot has changed in my life since Jerry died. But even so, Josh's attitude towards me, his evaluation of me, bothered me.
It bothered me though study hall, through practice, and finally through dinner. Brent, my younger brother, noticed my pensiveness, and the fact that I barely ate anything for dinner, and that resulted in the third degree from him.
"Okay bro, wassup?"
"Yeah, right. You off the team or something?"
"Might as well be. I'm failing in English and math."
"Hey, ask for a tutor."
"I did. Josh Keller..."
"Oh my God! Josh Keller! He is so hot!! He is totally awesome! I am so in love with him!"
"You know him?"
"Yeah, he's the best! Man! So, Josh is going to tutor you? He is totally awesome! I am so in love with him. We're in the Computer Club together! He is better than anyone at teaching, and his voice is soooooo sexy. This is so AWESOME!"
My mouth must have hit the floor when Brent mentioned the Computer Club. Damn! My own stepbrother - I had forgotten he was in the Computer Club. I could have saved myself from such a definite no from Josh.
"Well, not quite. He refused. He said, basically, he'd never help me. I should have stood up for Jerry, but I didn't. I just went with the crowd..."
The day I found out he died was the second singularly worst day of my life. Yeah I knew Jerry. We were friends. He was the person who talked me into joining the football team. He was the one who spent hours with me going over the playbooks. Then he was outed, and I, like so many others, turned my back, and to some degree contributed to his misery. I was at the top of the popularity poll.
I told Brent about the meeting in Tobler's office, and the encounter by the lockers. My eyes were watering up when I said, "Josh was right 'Many fear their reputation, few their conscience'. I'll flunk out I know and it's my own damn fault."
"Justin, talk to him. Not as Justin, the failing QB, but as the Justin I know. You have nothing to loose."
Brent was right.
I arrived at school the next day, early, and went straight to Ms. Tobler's Office.
"Ms. Tobler, I want Josh Keller as my tutor."
"That's very unlikely to happen Justin. He called me last night, and told me why. He is very adamant, and the position is totally voluntary on his part. I'll be truthful with you, I understand his reasoning."
"I'm not the brightest light bulb, in fact, sometimes I'm pretty dim. I just want him to hear me out. Please. He can still say no, and I don't really expect him to say yes - but it's a vague hope that he will. I'm not the same as I was when Jerry died." Damn! My bottom lip was trembling. It was a sign that the water works would spring a leak. I looked away from her.
Several minutes later Josh appeared in the office. Ms. Tobler left the two of us alone.
"I thought I made it clear yesterday..."
"You did, but I wanted to tell you, I know somebody in the computer club - Brent White. He's my stepbrother. Also you were right. I turned my back on Jerry." Oh God I could feel myself tearing up. "I was trying to protect my reputation. I was the man! I was the new Wildcat quarterback."
"Brent was the one who told me of Jerry's death. You know what my comment was to Brent? I said, "Good, one less faggot." I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, but I continued. Brent looked at me in horror, and then ran off. He didn't show up at dinner.
"Justin, has Brent called or anything, to say he wasn't going to be home for dinner?" asked Mom.
"No. He was home, we were talking, and he told me Jerry Walsh died. I said oh well one less fag, and he took off..."
"You said WHAT?" yelled Dad.
"I said one less fag," I half laughed.
I've never seen my dad so furious. What was said next took me to a new level of reality about myself.
"Tell me Mr. Quarterback, who talked you into joining the football team? Who was over here everyday helping you to understand and memorize your playbook?"
He didn't give me a chance to answer before he said, "Ann," Dad looked at Mom, "I'm going to look for my son. And as for you, Justin, you can go fuck yourself." My dad never says 'fuck'.
I went to our backyard climbed up into our tree house and cried until I felt Brent's arm on my shoulder. I love Brent and I knew what I had said had hurt him.
"I'm sorry Brent," I sobbed, "I hurt you so bad. I love you so much. I'll never do it again, I promise. Please forgive me."
"Forgiven, I should have told you, but I was afraid you'd hate me. I love you so much. You're my big bro."
Things seemed a thousand times better with Brent after that - I guess - cuz there were no secrets between us.
My next game was the worst I'd ever played. I was still fucked up about Jerry. Coach Donnell called me into his office the next day.
"Justin, that was the worst anybody has ever done. If I didn't have confidence in you, that you'll do better, you'd be off the team. So, I want to know why. I want to know what's going on with you."
All I could think of was Jerry Walsh. I didn't deserve to be the QB, or even on the team. We sat in silence for ten minutes.
"I don't deserve to be here," I all but whispered.
I told Coach about Jerry. How he'd talked me into joining the team. How he'd drilled all the plays into my head, and how I'd betrayed him, his friendship. How I'd joined in the ridicule, and bashing of Jerry.
"I can never forgive myself, Coach. I don't deserve to be here. I quit!" I stood up to leave.
"The hell you do! Bruski I can't say I agree with that life style, but I've known a lot of boys who are gay, who met in high school or college, and who had very happy and productive lives. So I don't make any judgments in that area."
"What you did was wrong, very wrong. You told me Jerry was the one that got you on the team, that he coached you in all the plays - that took hours and lots of patience. Believe me I know. There were a number of times I was about to ditch you, and go with someone else, but Jerry always persuaded me to give you another chance, and so I would."
"I'm not going to ask you to stay on the team, or to leave the team. All I ask you to do is to consider the consequence of your actions. Perhaps, if you had done that, Jerry would still be among us. Justin, Jerry saw something in you that I, eventually, saw too. He saw a winner. You let him down once - are you going to do it again?"
I looked up at Josh, who was still standing, but was listening to me.
"I went home that night. After dinner, Brent came to my room. I told him about my conversation with Coach. I told him my decision. I wasn't going to quit. If Jerry saw me as a winner, then I owe it to Jerry to be that winner. A lot of people think I'm going for the NFL, scholarships, or whatever, but I'm not. I'm doing it for Jerry."
"My brother, who has a huge crush on you, but knows you are taken, says that you're the best tutor. Of course I'd like the best. And I'm sitting here thinking you'll probably say no because Ms. Tobler says she doubts anything I say will change your mind - and that's cool."
"I think I just wanted to let you know, even if you're not my tutor, I'd like to be a friend - a real friend."
I reached out my hand towards him.
He looked at my outstretched hand, shook his head 'no'.
I remember the day when Justin asked Josh to tutor him. Josh was furious and was in a horrible mood when I got home. He ranted and raved something awful. Aunt Lil called him and he was positively rude to her.
"Josh, it's not her fault. She didn't know. I'm sure she was just looking for the best, and you are the best."
He sat stern-faced for a few minutes, then looked at me. "You know you're a marshmallow - soft and sweet. I was a bit harsh."
"A bit!" I said. He leaned over and kissed me. Then he called Aunt Lil back and apologized for being rude.
"You know, he might have changed. You know Brent White is his stepbrother."
"No. I didn't know that."
I rolled my eyes, "It's obvious he has a crush on you."
"Nah! You think every cute guy has a crush on me. So any way, what's your point?"
"Brent is gay. At least that's according to our resident gaydar girl - Mandy. I think she's right. He was practically drooling when you helped him last week at the Geek Club meeting."
"He was? Hmm. He is really cute. Gay huh? My gaydar must not work," he said thoughtfully.
"Dufus, your gaydar never works."
"Yeah, well, I don't need it," he smiled, "I got you."
At lunch the next day, when Josh sat down next to me, he said, "I was one hundred percent wrong. Justin is cool. And you're right about Brent. He has a crush on me. So, I invited the tenth grader to have lunch with us. And you think you blush," laughed Josh.
It was Josh who suggested I offer to tutor during last period. When John told me he didn't want me to tutor him any more I barely heard his reason, which was that I was a homosexual, and he didn't want others to think he was gay. It was almost an apology, but still I was hurt. Looking at him now, after his confession, he's Josh's favorite term for someone who is sweet - he's a marshmallow - a huge marshmallow!
"So what do we do now?" I asked Josh.
"Watch John's video," said Josh with just a hint of a smile, "How about it, John?"
Big John blushed, "No way!"
Josh giggled, "Dude you're so cute when you blush."
John blushed even more, "Stop it Josh."
Josh laughed. "Seriously, dude. Is there anything in the video that indicates your gay? Or is it just you showing off your body and jacking-off?" asked Josh.
John sat quietly for a while then spoke softly, "I had a gay magazine."
"Okay, how you do feel about coming out to our friends. They will be totally cool and will not out you to anyone. The rents are awesome too. You'll be safe here. Weekend have been renamed Saturgay and Sungay," Josh said with such enthusiasm.
"Yeah, John, you and your parents would be welcome - better than hanging out by yourself," I said.
John smiled, "Okay. Mark, would you have me back as a student?"
"YES! ALWAYS!" I said.
"That stupid idiot Jeffries! I'll kill him if he hurts my love. Tobler should be fired! Stupid lesbo didn't even know Jeffries tackled and ran off with Josh. Oh, Josh!" he said to himself. "How could you like Hathaway? I promise you Josh I will get him out of your life just like I got rid of Walsh."
He sat down at his computer dialed into the school system and opened his photo album. He gazed at the page displaying twenty of the 300 photos of Josh Keller.
"Hathaway is evil. He doesn't deserve you," he started the slide show as he began massaging his groin. "Oh, Josh you are so beautiful...I love you. Do you love me? Of course you do. I promise I will rid you of that parasite Hathaway."