"Brian, look. There's something that I need to tell you.
You see, I had a dream about you last night, and before we go to
this party -- god, that's so stupid!"
I, Darien Richardson, never really had trouble with saying anything to anyone. But this was something that might take me take a while to say. How could I say I liked Brian a little? I mean, a little bit more than a little?
Argh. I was in the bathroom, getting ready for this party in Charolette. I had been there a couple times, but I actually never driven there, though. So this might be a little difficult. Well, not as difficult as what I was trying to do.
I had come to terms with myself and my sexuality. However, the one person who had brought these changes was the last person I could tell them to. I don't even think that he would understand me if I told him....
But I was going to tell him. I would have plenty time to tell him on the way down to the party...
" Mom, I'm going!" I yelled down the hall. I had
told my parents about the party beforehand. They didn't mind me
going, they just thought it was me being a teenager who had to be
independent for a while. However, they probably wouldn't have let
me go if I told them who I was going with... Brian was now
infamous in the town for being the first gay person who was
actually out of the closet. ( I was guessing there were a couple
other people who weren't exactly straight either, but they were
among the shadows...) Anyway, after the incident with Brian's
house, most of the people in the town just left him alone.That
didn't stop the whispers, though...
" Ok, dear! Remember: no drugs and no booze!" My mom replied. Whenever I went to parties, those were the only two rules that she told me before I went out. My father really didn't care much for parties. He felt that " God punishes sin" and that parties were for sinners and all that. But he also thought that I was just in one of those teenage phases that I would grow out of...
" Got it! Bye!" I said as I left the house. I went and started up the car. I still didn't exactly know what or who was at this party, so I was hoping that Brian would give some explainations...
" Hey," Brian said.
" Hey," I replied as he jumped into the car. He seemed quite... Brian. Brian is the only way I can describe him anymore...
" Ready, jock-boy?"
" Ready as I'll ever be..."
" What, you're not the party type?"
" Not really... listen, there's something-"
" I know, you're wondering if this is some type of gay party type thing?"
"..Well, yes, but-"
" Don't worry. There'll be straight girls there, if that's what you're worried about."
Man, how wrong he was... "ok."
It had never even entered his mind! I guess he just thought because he was gay, that I would feel sorry for him because I was straight. Didn't he think that I actually wanted to hug him today, and not just because he wanted to because he was grateful that I was taking him to this party? Did he think that everything I did for him was out of pity?
It must have been the first day, at the concert. He must have thought he made a mistake, when he touched me...
Now I couldn't care less about the stupid party. All I could care about was how to tell Brian that I actually liked him, just to get the words out of my lips...But I couldn't do it now. Not now...
" In a couple of minutes, k?"
Brian was asking me if we were in Charolette yet, since he didn't know where we were and probably thought I didn't know where we were, either. He was reduced to asking " are we there now?" every 2 minutes. But we were still on schedule, though.
I still hadn't said anything to him. I didn't know where the hell to start. So it became time for Darien's stupid question of the day routine...
" So, have you ever done it with..with another guy?" I asked him, like a bonehead.
" Well, have you?"
" Man, you always bring questions up out of nowhere."
" Are you gonna answer it or not?"
" No. No, I haven't done it with another guy."
" You haven't?"
" No. What, does this surprise you?"
" Yeah, I just thought that if you were so sure that you were gay, then-"
" Then I would've done it with someone by now?"
" Look, sex isn't everything that it's cracked up to be. There are other things-"
" Like love?
No response for a while. Then finally, he said,
" Yes, love. What about you? I'm sure the Outbrook football spokesperson has gotten head from every gold diggin' groupie this side of the Carolinas."
I laughed. " Man, you've got a tongue like a knive!"
" Gotta have one up in NY to hold your own."
" The tongue or the knive?"
" Heh. So, how many girls are you up to now? More than you've got fingers for?"
" No, not really..."
" Yeah, right."
" What, does this surprise you?"
He turned and looked at me. " A little."
" A little."
" Yeah. Look, there's the exitway..."
When we got there, alot of cars were parked near the house,
which was a modest two story home. It was big enough to have a
pretty large party inside. And the next houses was far enough
away so that no one would have any problems...
I could hear the music from the outside. Club music. God, help me...
As we rang the doorbell, Brian asked me, " Hey Darien, can you dance?"
" Man, you're gonna be the only one not dancing. Come on, you can hear the music from out here. Show me how you dance."
" Oh, man-"
" Come on, you're going to have to do it sooner or later. Look." Brian started dancing, waiting for me to join in with him.
" All right. " I tried to match his dancing, but it was no use. The way he was moving, it was as if he was a pro at this...
I gave up." You go to clubs often?" I asked him.
" Are you kidding? New York is a club mecca, man!"
The door swung open, and a guy with a hawaian shirt and cargo shorts with a party hat opened the door. He had to be around 17-18.
"MATT!" Brian yelled, and hugged him right in front of the door.
" You were always one to start a party early," he said, returning the embrace.
" Man, how's it going?" asked Brian.
" It's ok, just visiting down here, my cousin's house.. who's the jock?"
" Oh. Darien, this is Matt. Matt, Darien."
" Hi," He said.
" Well, don't let me stop you, come on in!" Matt said, moving out of our way as we headed in.
We headed in, and the party was well underway. There were plenty of girls there, as he had told me. Everyone was dancing drinking, make-outs of all sexualities. You know that Lenny Kravitz video? That's a pretty good image of what this party was. This really was a party. A party which, oddly enough, everyone knew who Brian was. I think a couple of people thought I was his boyfriend, and I'd have to correct them and say that I was just " a friend."
No sooner than we had came to the main party room (the outside patio) than a swarm of guys ran over to Brian. They were pretty estatic to see him.
" Some old friends, I presume?" I asked Brian.
" Yep, my gay buddies."
" Are you his new boyfriend?" one of the guys asked me
I think I made a mistake by blushing there. Whereas a couple of seconds ago, I was pratically invisible, now I was the center of attention.
" Um..no. No I'm not. Just a friend."
" Ok, guys, this is Darien..."
"..and Darien, this is Gary, Adam, Tommy, Ricky, Greg, and Aaron."
" How you doin'."
" What's up."
" Hey man."
" Matt! Matt!" Brian yelled across the room.
As Matt made his way through the sea of people, Brian leaned over and whispered :
" I'm so gonna kill him."
" Just because."
When Matt came over here, Brian immediatly threw some playful punches on his shoulder.
" You bastard! Why didn't you tell me they were coming here?"
" -chuckling-... hey, it was a surprise."
" Well, you suprised my ass, all right."
" What if I told you that wasn't the only surprise?"
Then all of a sudden, the lights dimmed down a bit, and the music went from party to slow dance.
" You don't mean..." Brian looked at Matt. Matt didn't say anything, he just pointed to a room where someone was making their way through the crowd.
And out came this guy with blond hair, a white dress shirt with khais, and a dozen roses.
Brian didn't say anything. I could tell that he was going to end up crying. Then he ran over to this guy and jumped into his arms.
I went over to Matt. " Old boyfriend?" I asked.
" 'Boyfriend' is an understatement where they're concerned."
Then Brian (who was sobbing at the moment ) the old boyfriend, and the gang headed upstairs.
" I reserved a room for them. They'd want their privacy." he said.
" Who is he?"
" His name's John. Brian's first."
We both sat down on the couch located in the room.
" So... are there any straight girls here?"
" I'd thought you'd never ask, man." He stood up, whistled, and snapped his fingers.
" Hey, for a sec there, I thought you were-"
" Not really. I thought you were-"
" Nope. I don't have anything against gay people. They're cool people. Hey, I couldn't do what they do. Ah, here's the entertainment!"
So that's what he's snapping for. Two girls (with nothing but bikini's on, I should add) came over and sat right in our laps.
" Hi, what's your name?"
" Darien. How about you?"
" No, I don't think your name's Darien."
" Really? You sure about that?"
" No by the look of it, I'd say you're name's.."
Then this girl unzipped my fly and went straight down my pants.
Matt, who was cracking up now, said " A-class entertainment, man!"
I blushed. " Wait a sec, you're-"
" A first class girl. Mean, clean, sex machine."
She was trying to jerk me off!
" Ok, um miss-"
" Cherry. Cherry Popper."
And I jumped off the couch and ran like a bat out of hell upstairs.
" Darien! Hey, Darien! Oh well, more for me then...hello there..."
I found the room were Brian and the guys had gone to. However, they had locked the door behind them. Hopefully I wouldn't see anything that I wouldn't need to see...
" How the hell can you do this to me?!"
..Well, at this point, it seems that no matter what happened, I was going to see something that I didn't want to see.
Then the door bust open, and Brian was standing there, openly sobbing in front of me.
" Take me home, Darien."
" Just take me home."
I nodded and started walking down the stairs, when John grabbed Brian's arm and pulled him towards him.
" Look, you know I don't want to do this to you-" John started to say, but was cut off by Brian.
" It didn't matter to you, did it? As long as you got your rocks off-"
" Hey, that's not fair!"
" I don't give a fuck if it is fair!" Brian yelled. Now most of the people (including Matt) were staring in our direction.
" We haven't even been apart for that long, and just because your dick gets hard, you go and find some bitch who'd fuck you in two seconds?!"
Now tears were forming in John's eyes, and the now music had stopped, so everyone was looking at them aruging in the middle of the stairway.
After a while, a tear went down John's cheek and he said, " I love you."
Brian turned his back to John, and said,
" You've used that line on me way too many times already."
And with that, he headed for the front door. The rest of the gang followed him, with me and John staying behind. Then the music started up again, and everything started to go back to normal
" What the hell was that?" I asked John.
" That was Brian pissed," he said, wiping his eyes with his hands.
" No shit. Now explain why."
" Look, I don't know who you are, but you wouldn't understand-"
" Try me."
So as Brian's friends were outside of the house, trying to
calm him down, I was trying to get the full spectrum of things
with Brian and John. We were around the back of the house, and
Brian and his friends were out on the front porch.
" Brian," John was explaining, " and me were very close when we were together. But when he left, I felt like I was trying to carry this thing by myself. We tried to keep our relationship working, but-"
" I was waiting for that word."
" When he left, I became depressed. I couldn't stand being by myself. It was terrible. I'd have fits of insomnia, and all that. I felt the distance between us was tearing us apart. That's when I met Rachel."
" Yeah. My friends didn't know I was with Brian at the time, and they gave me her phone number at a party that I saw here at. When I was with Brian, I didn't use it, but when I called her, she seemed really nice. She was a nice girl, not the slut that Brian portrays her as..."
" Dude, I don't think you can blame him for that," I told him. " He's hurt badly, man, and it's because of you."
" I know. I didn't want to come here to tell him, but I couldn't keep it behind his back any longer. So when we were up in Matt's parents' room, I took him to a part of the room and told him-"
" That you wern't gay?" I asked.
" Yeah. "
" Well, you should have waited. He didn't know you were coming."
" Hey, Darien?"
" What's up?"
" Look, I know that this may seem strange to you, but-"
" But what?" I asked. I didn't like where this was going...
" Could you take care of Brian for me..."
"What?" I immediately blushed.
" For some high-school jock, you're a little too interested in a gay guy's relationships. You wouldn't happen to be acting like this because you actually like Brian, would you?"
I didn't know what to say, I was too embarassed.
" Um..I..well.." I couldn't form an actual sentence.
" That's ok. I know how you feel So I was right after all." He stopped for a second, then said, " Did you tell him?"
"...no..." I said in a kind of meek voice. I had made no progress in trying to connect with Brian the entire night.
" Darien!" Someone yelled from the front of the house.
I turned to John. "Well man, I gotta go. Nice meeting you."
" Alright. Hey Darien?"
" Don't waste you chance. You might regret it."
I took those words into my heart. " Thanks for the advice."
" You're welcome."
" So, you actually talked to him?" Brian asked.
We were on the way home from the party.
" Yeah," I responded.
" Was he still acting like a selfish jerk?"
" Not really, he was concerned about you when you left."
" Really?" Brian said. His attitude changed for a second, but then he became angry at John again and said,
" Well, he ought to be. That bastard-"
" You don't understand! Without him, I'm pratically by myself here..."
What about me? I thought to myself. I was about to completely lose it. I liked him, and he didn't even suspect it!
" ..you don't have to worry about stuff like that, I mean, you've got tons of friends at home, people to look up to you, everything! But John was the last thing in my life that I had..."
Brian started to tear up again, but at this rate, so was I. If I didn't tell him now... But how would he react? Would he shun me? Would he belive me?
"..look, I'm sure that you'll find someone else, someone as good as John was to you..." I told him, trying to bring his confidence back up.
Brian looked at me. "..Thanks, but I know that you don't really mean that. You're just being sympathetic, aren't you?"
" Brian, I want to say-"
" No, I understand. But let's face it. Who would actually like a guy like me, in a place like this? And if there is someone, I'd like to know where he is..."
That was all it took. I immediately pulled the car over and parked it.
" Wha-what are you doing?" He said. He looked pretty frightened.
" Brian, you said that you don't have anyone here for you."
And I leaned over and kissed him. It was unexpected, but magical. I held him, and put all of my heart and love of him into it.
Brian was completely confused. " Darien?"
" Well that's not true. You still have me."
I kissed him again, but he was expecting it this time. He wrapped his arms around me tighly, almost clutching my waist. The moment was pure passion, it felt like cloud 9.The taste of his tongue in my mouth was like cranberries. We were still kissing each other, Brian on his back on the seat. That's when he broke this kiss and said,
" Yeah.." My voice was very light at this point.
" You remember when I told you that I was a virgin?"
" Well... I don't think that I'm ready...for you."
" You know what?"
" I'm not ready either. Not like this..."
" But you know..."
" And that it's not because..."
It's as if I could read his mind at this point. We were both hard, and both unzipped. If we really wanted to, we could have had sex right then and there in the back of the car.
But we wern't ready....
" Should we go home?" He asked me.
I had the butterflies the entire ride home. I suspected that
he had them too, which is why no one said anything the entire
ride home. I dropped him at his house without a word to say. And
as I parked the car at my house, I wonder what would happen next.
And then I wondered about my dream. Was it fate? Was fate trying
to tell me something? I would have to wait. It was 10, and I was
worn out, not only physically, but mentally as well. I went into
my room and got undressed. I got into bed, with one thing on my
Are you thinking about me?
Hey ya'll. How ya'll doin? I know you guys are wondering why this chapter took so long to finish. Well, with school and all, I was kinda in-between projects and it had to go on the backburner. Don't be mistaken, though, the story is still very important. Not to mention I have ideas for a new story after this one.. anyway, what did you think? Did you think that the breakup between John and Brian was way too quick and hasty, or did you see it coming? And with John out of the picture, what's gonna happen to Brian and Darien? I'd like to know what you guys think of it, so email me at Neo_Vincent@hotmail.com . Well that's it for now, I'll c ya'll later! ~_^