By Jason Trower
Chapter 1: First Day Of School
The first day of school, oh what torture that is for a fourteen year old. Summer is never long enough, and before you know it you're dragging yourself out of bed in the wee hours and trudging off to school to have your creativity and individualism slowly wrung out of you. Was it really only second period? Geez it felt like I'd been stuck in that prison for hours. And to make it worse, it was a beautiful day outside. The sun, the warm breeze blowing in the open windows, the birds chirping, or were they taunting me? But there was one thing I could enjoy about this day...all the eye candy! I was surrounded by dozens of cute boys! Yes, boys. That's right, I like boys. Of course nobody walking these halls knew my secret.
My name is Nick, and I was a freshman at a new high school, which meant I had a lot of new faces to look at and dream about. The school was just full of hot guys. I've been told I'm plenty cute myself, about 5'8", nice brown eyes, medium length hair that's normally brown but turns blonde in the sun, a cute face and not a bad body. I'm not overly athletic, but I'm thin and kinda toned I guess. But I was nothing compared to these boys! It was nice to dream, but deep down I knew I would never have any of them. Even if one of these cuties was gay how would I ever find out?
The bell rang and I had to pry my gaze away from the boy I'd been staring at all class. He was sitting in the next row over and a few seats ahead, laughing and joking with an old friend. I had to look in his direction to see the teacher so I'd been able to watch every smile, every cute expression he'd made all period without being noticed. He got up and walked out with his friend as I walked out alone, off to my next class to drool over another teen stud I'd never be able to have.
The teacher told us to sit wherever we liked and I took a seat near the back, perfect position to let my eyes wander over the room. It was then that I looked up and saw the most amazing sight, walking right towards me! He was about my height, an awesome lithe body, kind of stringy/curly light brown hair that flopped down over his eyes. He brushed his hair back with his hand and exposed the most brilliant, sparkling blue eyes I'd ever seen. He was wearing a long tight Adidas t-shirt, with short sleeves that let me see his tanned arms. His jeans were long and bunched up at the bottom just above his well worn Nikes. He was gorgeous!
He dropped into the desk right next to me, and I nearly fell out of my chair. He stretched his long legs out in front of him, crossing his ankles, and slouched in his seat in the coolest way. That "teen who would rather be anywhere but school" posture. I was still looking at him, just trying to take in every lovely detail of this magnificent creature. He sat looking at his hands on the desktop, almost as if he was trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. I managed to look away, deciding I didn't want to make him anymore uncomfortable then he already seemed, but I couldn't stop stealing glances at him as the teacher began class with attendance. And what name did she call first?
"Skyler Aukland," she announced.
Oh my god! It was him, right there next to me!
"Anything special you'd like to be called?" the teacher asked.
"No, Skyler is just fine," he said. My jaw was now in my lap! Not only was he the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid my eyes on, not only did he have an awesome name like Skyler, not only did he have a sexy voice that danced softly in my ears, but he also had the coolest Australian accent!
My mind was in the clouds, filled with the light day dreams of this new kid. I was so preoccupied I didn't even hear my name being called until the third time.
"Nicholas Shafer?" I finally heard the teacher say impatiently.
"Oh! Here, that's me, and it's just Nick," I said quickly.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw him look over at me slightly, but he'd turned back before I was able to make eye contact. He seemed so shy, and I assumed from his accent that he was new to the states. I certainly didn't like the idea of starting a new school, but it must have been far worse for him moving to a new country. I decided since I was conveniently close to him I would try to make him feel welcome. And besides, I'd have done anything just to hear him speak again. But for the first time in memory I couldn't say anything. I'd never had trouble speaking up or speaking first, I was anything but shy, but I couldn't talk to him. My mind was spinning trying to think of something to say, something to ask. Finally I forced the words out of my lungs.
"Just move to the states?" I asked him somewhat nervously.
He looked up at me with those big blue eyes, then looked timidly down towards my feet.
"Yeah, last month," he answered glancing at my face again.
I was making some kind of progress, he was speaking and he was looking at me now. Every bashful move he made, every quiet word that slipped from his thin lips encouraged me to befriend him.
"I'd ask you how you like it, but I know how it is having to move. You probably don't like Arizona very much," I said trying again to start a conversation.
"No...well...no, it...its all right," he said drawing back into his shell, seemingly embarrassed by his stuttered answer.
"Boys, you'll have plenty of time all year to socialize, let's pay attention," snapped the teacher from the front of the room. With that Skyler returned to silence and I felt my heart sink a little. In the few short minutes I had known him I had already become completely infatuated with this aussie kid.
The bell rang and for the first time I was disappointed that the day was moving along. Before I had a chance to think of anything to say Skyler jumped up and quickly slipped out the door, tossing his back pack over his shoulder as he went. I sighed to myself, remembering once again that no matter how much I longed for the boys I saw I would probably never be able to be with them. Already my first attempt at making a friend and I'd been shot down in flames. I walked on to my next class, moping down the hall as I read my schedule. What was it about this new kid that had me so enraptured? Yeah I like guys and yeah he's gorgeous, but it was something more. In just that one 40 minute period I felt as if I'd met the boy of my dreams, had a relationship and then broke up with him. And we had barely talked! I had never felt anything like it before. I was wracking my brain trying to figure it out, but all my thoughts were quickly replaced with thoughts of him. I didn't even know him but it felt as if he was my best friend in the whole world. I was always letting my heart lead me instead of my head, and it has gotten me into plenty of trouble. But this was still different, something I'd never felt.
I finally found the gymnasium as the bell began to rang and I hurried in to stand in the crowd of other boys who had gathered and were already talking, obviously well acquainted with one another. Normally I would have happily invited myself into one of the conversations already started, but I didn't feel much like it. I had the strangest thoughts and emotions tumbling around in my brain, knocking harshly like wet shoes in a clothes dryer. I headed for the corner of the large room to sit against the wall and think but as I rounded the group of kids standing there I saw somebody was already there. It was Skyler! He was sitting alone looking at the floor with the same withdrawn, almost scared, look he'd had before. I dropped down next to him roughly and he jumped, his stringy brown hair swinging slightly as he flashed me a surprised look.
"Caught talking in class on the first day. Now we'll both me labeled as troublemakers," I said jokingly.
He had returned to looking at the floor but I saw a grin crack on his face, the ends of his lips turning up and the corner of his lip wrinkling in the cutest way.
"No worries," he said, "At least somebody noticed me."
Notice him? How could anybody not notice this sexy teen? I did a lot more than notice him, I was in awe of him in a way, almost as if he was everything I wanted to be. And since I'd never be in the same league I guess being his friend was the next best thing. He had an aura about him that drew me in and convinced me that we could be the best of friends, even if we didn't even know each other yet. Never before had I wanted to be somebody's friend so badly. Not to mention that voice! He was so quiet it was a struggle to get anything out of him, but the effort was well worth the reward. A few words from him and I melted. That soft voice, almost cracking occasionally. It was easy to tell it had recently changed and was probably another reason he was so timid. Of course he had no reason to be embarrassed about it around me, I adored it.
The first day of school rituals continued, however, and Skyler and I were once again forced to end our conversation. I cherished every word he said to me and waited excitedly for my next chance to talk to him. What was wrong with me?
The coach was a young guy, well, in his twenties. A change from the fat bearded fifty year old guy I'd had at my last school. But he still gave us the usual bullshit about being there on time, no slacking, having clean clothes, like we'd never heard all this before. But while showing us the locker room he said something that I hadn't heard before.
"And here's the showers, you will all be required to shower after class."
No big deal right? Not like I'd never been naked around other guys before or something. Not to brag, but for a fourteen year old I wasn't exactly lacking in certain areas, and I didn't mind letting others notice. But as my eyes scanned the group of boys standing there listening to the lecture I realized there would be a problem. My heart pumped faster, my palms got sweaty and I felt myself becoming rather nervous and uncomfortable. I was going to be showering with that drop dead gorgeous aussie kid! I could feel the blood suddenly leave my face. This was bad, how could I possibly shower with him and not embarrass myself? Hell, I couldn't even get him out of my mind for two minutes and I'd only just met him and seen him fully clothed. I tried not to look at anybody, to let anyone know I was nervous. Nobody else seemed bothered by the possibilities, but that didn't surprise me. I was alone in this, as usual.
"What is wrong with me?" I thought again as we walked out of the locker room after our tour. I'm not shy, I'm not nervous, I'm Nick, the one who's never afraid to speak up first, never worried about looking bad. Maybe it's just being in a new school, yeah that's it. I just need to get back into the school routine and show all these new people who I am. And there was my perfect opportunity, basketball! Being the first day of school we didn't have time for a full class, so after our tour and introductions we were set loose in the gym to shoot hoops for a while. And being pretty damn good I figured this was my chance to be myself...a show off.
And it worked. It didn't take long to notice who the jocks were in this class and soon they had noticed my skills and invited me to start a quick game. Everything was going great and I was really cleaning up, doing my best to flaunt my abilities. Now I was back where I belonged, the attention I loved, the confidence I thrived on. I racked up ten points quick, putting an end to our first game then walked to the side of the court to rest.
"So what's your name, dude?" said one of the guys as he followed me.
"Nick Shafer," I said shaking his hand.
"I'm Lucas, just call me Luke," he said smiling. Luke seemed like the real athletic type judging by his muscled arms and legs. He was friendly enough but had a mean competitive spirit that I'd already witnessed in action. He was pretty cute too, short brown hair, bright hazel eyes, a real nice smile. He was about an inch shorter then me but looked like he was just getting into the growth spurts. We sat at the edge of the gym and talked for a bit, mostly about where we were from. Luke had grown up in town and had never really been anywhere. He seemed to think me being from California was really cool and wanted to know if I'd lived near the ocean and all that stuff.
"Hey you guys playing?" one of Luke's friends asked as the group began to reform for another game.
"Yeah sure," Luke said enthusiastically as he jumped up and trotted back to them. I was about ready to join them until I looked down the court and saw Skyler at the other end of the gym, alone under one of the hoops. I watched for a moment as he dribbled the ball slowly but skillfully and made a perfect jump shot, his sinewy arms stretching above him as he released the ball sending it through a gentle arc.
"Hey Nick," Luke yelled to me, "playin or not?"
"Naw dude, I'm taking it easy, have fun," I said as I walked to the other end of the court.
"Pretty good," I said to Skyler as I snagged the rebound from him. "want some competition?"
He seemed taken aback a bit by my out going attitude and kept his eyes near the floor.
"I was just shootin a bit, not much for basketball myself," he said quietly in that luscious accent.
"What kinda stuff are you into?" I asked again, still trying to coax him into talking about himself. He paused timidly and seemed almost ready to answer when the bell rang and the entire class rushed noisily past us towards the door.
"You got lunch next dude?" Luke said rushing up to me. He seemed to emphasize the "dude" in an annoying valley girl kind of way. I took it as his way of poking fun at a Californian.
"Yeah we can sit together," I answered. I turned back still waiting for a response from Skyler but he was already on his way out the door. There was something more to this then just shyness. He seemed almost scared of something, almost hiding something. I wondered how he must feel and it made me a little depressed, but more determined to give him a friend.
I followed Luke to the crowded cafeteria and we sat at a table overflowing with old friends. Everyone knew everyone else and Luke turned out to be one of the more popular guys. He introduced me to everyone and they all greeted me cordially, even if some of them were laying the cool act on a little thick. I looked around the room scanning the countless new faces, searching in vain for that blue eyed Aussie. I thought if I could find him maybe I could invite him over to our table, maybe get him into the crowd and open him up a little. But then again he would probably have been even more intimidated. Why couldn't I get him out of my mind? A couple hours ago I'd been trying to make friends and now I was eating lunch with a whole group of them and all I could think about was Skyler. In fact all I thought about for the rest of the day was him, his eyes so deep and blue as if they were filled with the ocean itself. The fact that I didn't see him at all after gym class only made me more fascinated by him. Had he been real? Maybe he was some kind of ghost that only I had seen, some figment of my wishful imagination. My own mind teasing me with the image of a boy and letting me think I had a chance with him.
The afternoon continued as the morning had with one distinct difference. I was no longer dreaming about the boys around me, I was dreaming about one in particular. I watched a few billowy clouds float gently across the sky, comparing the blue horizon to his eyes. Everything around me began to remind me of that boy. It's a good thing it was the first day and we wouldn't be expected to learn anything important because I didn't hear a word any teacher said. I barely noticed the day had ended until I checked my schedule and realized I was out of classes to go to. I walked home alone in a daze, wondering if this was a passing thing. No couldn't be, not something that made me feel this way so deep inside. But would I always feel like this? What if I don't see him again? What if he doesn't want to be friends? I could only wait until school the next morning to find out but until then he filled my every thought. My parents noticed I wasn't being my usual out going self and asked me endless questions over dinner, trying to find out if something had happened at school to put me in such a mood. I played it off as best I could, I sure couldn't tell them the truth. I wasn't even sure what the truth was myself.
After dinner I sat at my desk in my room trying to concentrate on my homework. How evil does a teacher have to be to assign geometry homework on the first day of school? There was a CD playing softly in the background but the music wasn't distracting me, it was the image of a boy in my mind that was causing me to squirm in my seat. I closed my book and absent scribbled on my notebook. I sighed and rubbed my eyes as if I could wipe away my confusion. What was it about this kid that made me feel like this? I've been lusting after other boys since I was twelve and never once did any of them cause this kind of reaction. And as if the confusion wasn't enough I was frustrated too. Frustrated by the fact that I was gay, and that meant alone. I had nobody to talk to about this, no help or advice, only the hormones coursing through my teenage veins doing abnormal and mysterious things to my mind. I tossed my pen aside and leaned back in my chair, sighing again. It was then that I noticed what I'd written on my notebook. There on the blue cover, inside a heart were the words "I love Skyler".
Did ya like it? Did ya hate it? Wanna see chapter 2? Well let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org. Stop by the website for even more fun stuff (you can even see pics of Nick and Skyler). Until next time...Laters =)