Chapter Four: Sleepless Nights
By Jason Trower
I didn't just wake up and
get out of bed that morning, I leapt out of bed as soon as my eyes sprang
showered, dried my hair, and brushed my teeth like I did any other morning but I didn't run downstairs for
breakfast just yet. Instead I fell backwards on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I took a deep breath and tried to
relax but my whole body was tense and ready to burst with energy as one thought sank deep into my mind, I'm
sleepin over Skyler's house tonight!
"WOO HOO! YES!" I shouted
as I thrust my fist into the air triumphantly and bounced off my bed to
my feet. I
dug through my drawers and found a pair of boxers to wear just as a knock came to my bedroom door. My
manhood was barely covered when the door opened slowly and my mom poked her head in.
"You seem awfully excited to be up this morning," she said.
"MOM! I'm getting dressed," I said with a little embarrassment.
"It's nothing I haven't seen a million times before," she retorted.
"Yeah but I'm a little older now. You know, guys change and stuff."
My parents and I had always
been fairly open about sex but it was still a little odd talking to my
mom about it. I
stole a quick peek over to my bed to make sure the bottle of hand lotion I used regularly was carefully hidden
behind my alarm clock. I was fourteen, she had to know I did that stuff in bed at night, but I didn't need her to see
proof of it.
"I know, you're growing up fast. My little boy isn't so little anymore."
Geez I sure hope she's talking about my height.
"You're sleepin over your
friends house tonight, right?" she asked while I pulled on a pair shorts
and looked for
"Yeah, his dad said it was
all cool so I'm just gonna walk over there after school. I'll take my extra
stuff in my pack."
"Well don't cause any trouble, and be sure to leave me the phone number, and if…"
"Mom, I'll be fine, I can take care of myself," I said with a little too much whine in my voice.
"I'm just watching out for
my boy while I still can, before some girl comes along and sweeps you away,"
with a grin.
"I know," I said, then added, "I love you too."
The rules had changed for
me, I wasn't going to get by just on showing off and being the overconfident
anymore. I had to be the real me, and if that meant taking some risks tonight to see where I stood with Skyler then
so be it.
I tried to pick out a change
of clothes to take with me but my choices always change with my mood so
knows what I'd feel like wearing tomorrow. I took a couple shirts, some cargo shorts and some boxers that I've
always thought I looked nice in, stuffed em into my pack with my books and after a bowl of Fruity Pebbles I was
on my way.
The school day went on like
any other, my morning classes, then to geometry. I'd finally worked through
my ups and downs about talking to Skyler and we were actually able to have real conversations now. I didn't
need to put on the cool act or feel too nervous and he was opening up more everyday, but I think we were both a
little shy still. It was kind of nice though, like we were finally having something meaningful. Sometimes I swear I
could feel his sapphire eyes on me, as if he was really checking me out. I was sure I was just imagining it though.
More and more I got to hear his sexy voice and his hypnotic laugh. Every time he'd push his curly brown hair
away from his eyes and look at me I'd have to hold on to my desk just so I wouldn't fall out of my chair. I'd
wanted to become his friend more then anything, and now that I was friendship wasn't enough. I needed more,
and more, and more!! I was insatiable and I'd never even touched him. No telling what would happen if I did, so
class went on as usual. But this was Friday, last day of the week, freedom was just around the corner, and tonight
I was gonna get laid by the cutest, sexiest, Australian boy on earth, right? Well that's what I was really praying for,
but in the back of my mind was the voice of reality and I could hear it loud and clear. It's not gonna happen Nick,
We talked as we always did,
without too much excitement, even though I was bubbling over on the inside.
Skyler figured the sleep over wasn't that big a deal or he hid his exuberance well. In any case we went about our
day, from geometry to PE, then split up for lunch. I hated having separate lunch periods but there wasn't much that
could be done since getting your schedule changed just so you could sit with your friends was out of the question.
But at least Luke was back and I had a chance to talk with him.
"So where were ya yesterday?" I asked as I dropped my books on the table and sat down across from him.
"Hey Nick," he said cheerfully.
"I skipped out with Adrian. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come but we
couldn't wait until lunch."
"Oh, OK," I said. "I'm not really into skipping class anyway though."
"Why not?" he asked. I wasn't
about to tell him that I'd rather suffer through class just so I could
be near Skyler
so I had to come up with some kind of alibi.
"Well…I got into a lot of
trouble for skipping at my old school and if I get caught doing that here
my parents will
crucify me." That should be believable enough.
"Oh that sucks!" he replied.
"Yeah. So who's Adrian anyway?" I asked.
"He's an old bud of mine.
He can be a bit of a dick sometimes but he's a good guy to have on your
A little red flag went up
on his last comment, he's a good guy to have on your side. In my experience
he was somebody you wanted on your side whether you liked him or not, just so he wouldn't be against you.
"Hey Adrian," Luke yelled across the room. "Over here, dude."
I didn't even pay much attention
to who he was talking to until a large figure sat down next to Luke, just
the table from me.
"This is Adrian, this is
Nick," Luke said making the introductions, but I didn't say a word. Sitting
directly at me was…him…the leader of the little group that had attacked that poor kid in the lunch room just a few
"What's up?" he said with
an arrogant tone and a nod. My severe dislike of him must have been immediately
apparent by the look on my face, but either he didn't care or didn't bother to notice. I didn't know him, his likes
and dislikes, his interests or beliefs, but I didn't need to. I already knew all I needed, that he was ignorant and
intolerant. I clenched my fists under the table and had to take a deep breath to keep from telling him what was up.
Luke did notice and looked
a bit confused by my reaction. He just looked at me, his hazel eyes asking
wrong', but he probably knew it was best to wait and ask me another time.
"You still wanna do roller hockey on Sunday?" Luke asked me, changing the subject.
"Yeah I guess so," I said cautiously, wondering if Adrian would be there too.
"Cool, just meet us in the parking lot at noon."
"Sure. Look I gotta go…talk…to
the librarian about a book I need," I lied. I had to leave the table, even
lunch room. There was no way I was going to sit there with that homophobic asshole. If Luke wanted to be friends
with him that was his choice. I grabbed my books and headed for the hallway, where I realized I didn't have
anyplace else to spend the period. The library didn't seem very appealing so I headed outside where there was a
large patio and picnic tables. I still hadn't adjusted to the extreme heat of the desert so I sat in the shade along the
wall, not really wanting to read or do any homework, just looking around, when I spotted a figure at the opposite
end of the patio. His bright blond hair caught my attention first but then I saw who it was. It was Sean! He sat in
the corner, alone, reading a book in his lap and picking at the lunch tray beside him. He seemed so isolated from
the rest of the students even though he was only a few feet from a crowded table of laughing kids. He just buried
himself in his book, ignoring the world around him except for an occasional nervous glance. I was struck by how
cute he was, not as cute as Skyler, but certainly a looker. Small build, good dresser, beautiful blond hair, nice tan.
My gaze lingered on him for
too long and soon he caught me looking. Instinctively I looked away but
back a second later. I looked him over again, wondering how he must feel being unjustly outcast like he was. He
could feel that he was being watched and looked up again, catching me for a second time. Without warning he
slapped his book closed, jumped up and was gone through the doors at the far end of the patio before I could say
a word, call to him, wave or even smile.
Irony strikes again, I thought
to myself. Two weeks ago I would have loved to know who in school was gay,
and now that I did it was nowhere near as simple as I had thought.
I waited for Skyler outside
after school as we'd planned and before long he came rolling up on his
had to seriously question if he was that sexy intentionally. He was wearing a shirt this time, but sometimes he was
even sexier wearing certain clothes! And what is it about skaters? There's just something inherently attractive
about cute boys gliding around gracefully on wheels.
"What's up, dude?" I asked, very aware of what was `up' with me.
"Just anotha school day," he said. "At least it's over now."
And I couldn't have been
happier about that! We walked to his house, exchanging our usual small
talk the whole
"You like seafood?" he asked as we walked through the front door of his house.
"Sure do, love it," I answered.
"Cool, dad's makin shrimp
stir fry for dinner tonight. C'mon, you need to meet him," he said, waving
towards the kitchen.
I could hear somebody making
noise in the kitchen as we approached and memories of the water incident
days earlier came flooding back. I hadn't really thought about what his dad might look like, I'd spent too much
time day dreaming about Skyler.
"Hey dad, this is Nick,"
he said introducing me. I was a bit surprised when he turned around. His
dad was tall,
thin, curly brown hair, basically an older version of Skyler! His hair was shorter, he was bigger built, and he had
brown eyes instead of that dazzling blue, but it was very easy to tell they were a father and son pair.
"Hi Nick, good to finally meet ya," he said with a smile and a firm handshake.
"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Auckland," I said.
"Call me dad if ya like,
all of Skyler's friends back home did," he said. Geez, Skyler's name sounds
cooler with the accent!
I wasn't sure if I knew him
well enough to start calling him dad, but he definitely made the impression
friendly guy, and a great cook. Skyler and I helped him make dinner by chopping vegetables and cleaning the
shrimp while his dad cooked it up like a pro. We all ate dinner around the table and talked quite a bit about
moving and where we used to live. His dad had plenty of great stories to tell about Australia and even Skyler
talked a lot (for him anyway).
I was ready to be the polite
guest and help clear the table after dinner but Mr. Auckland insisted we
go do what
we wanted and have fun. Skyler gave me the quick tour of the house and my imagination went wild when he
suggested we go up to his bedroom.
His room was pretty cool,
a PC on the desk in the corner, a TV and stereo in an entertainment center
wall, posters, two single beds, and of course the usual dirty clothes and clutter of a teenage boy. He had quite a
few CD's, a lot of stuff I'd never heard but plenty I knew well and even some cool imports that I'd never seen in
the states. Between music, surfing the web, and video games the night flew by quickly, and around midnight we
decided to settle in for a cheesy late night movie that had already started.
"Man, this is bad," I said laughing at the horribly fake gore splattering around the screen.
"The second one isn't any better," he said.
"Return Of The Pancake People, right?"
"Yup. I think they made a
porno too, Hot Buttered Love Of The Pancake People," he said busting up
was laughing too, but hearing Skyler say the words `hot buttered love' sent shivers up my spine.
The movie ended shortly after
the syrup explosion at the local IHOP (not soon enough) and Skyler's dad
politely suggested we quiet our party down so he could get some sleep.
"I'm kinda knackered anyway,
we should prolly get ready get ready for bed," he said with a stretch and
Oh what a sight!
I'd failed to think about
something in advance though, and was quickly reminded of it when Skyler
his boxers. I was used to sleeping naked, which was out of the question of course, but even in my boxers I ran the
risk of embarrassing myself, especially with Skyler baring as much of his tanned skin as he was. I gathered my will
power and undressed as well before we got comfortable on opposite beds, ready for the time honored sleep over
tradition…talking until three AM.
"That dude was all worried
about getting the girl, and all he had to do was defeat an army of mutant
"Yeah," Skyler agreed with a chuckle. "With my luck I'd have to battle pop tarts to get the girl."
"Ah, girls are overrated
anyway," I said without thinking. I was prepared to take some risks that
night but I
wasn't even sure where that comment might lead.
"Really? So you been around
with enough girls to know?" he asked cautiously, testing the waters to
personal he could go with the conversation. If only he knew how personal I wanted him to go!
"More then a…" I began, giving
him my well practiced cool-straight-guy-show-off response, but I stopped
soon as I realized what I was doing. C'mon Nick, the real you.
"Well…no. To be honest I've
never done anything with a girl…beyond kissing anyway." In a way I felt
proud of myself for being so open and truthful with him, and I didn't feel vulnerable for it at all.
"I'm pretty sure some of the girls in geometry think you're cute," he said with his patented almost blushing grin.
"Yeah, probably. And what about you? You're plenty cute yourself," I said stepping out on a limb.
"Thanks, but girls don't go for me much anyway."
"Why wouldn't they?" I asked.
"I s'pose it's cause I'm
so quiet," he said with a slight shrug of his narrow shoulders. "Most girls
like the guys
who're always showin off and actin big."
I was really hoping he wasn't
implying anything about the way I had acted for the first week of school,
I was becoming quite embarrassed about.
"It's normal though. You
just moved, it's a new school and all that. You're comin around and I'd
say you're a
pretty cool guy once somebody gets to know ya," I said with a warm smile, looking directly into his gorgeous face.
"Yeah, but…I know some of the guys talk about me and stuff," he said downheartedly.
"What ya mean?" I asked acting ignorant.
"Some of the guys in PE…cause I don't shower," he said quietly.
"Hey, lots of guys are scared to shower at first. I was even nervous the first couple of days."
"It's more then that," he said, almost in a whisper as he looked down at his hands.
"What do ya mean?" I asked
again. I really was ignorant about what he meant this time, but I was very
Was he trying to say that he liked boys and was afraid of popping a bone? Skyler took a deep breath, his thin
chest expanding to take it all in. He carefully looked up at me, his bright blue eyes shining between the stray locks
of his brown hair.
"Promise to keep a secret?" he asked softly.
"Yeah, sure, promise," I replied.
"Well…I'm a little different then you Americans."
"Different? Like how?" I asked cautiously.
Skyler licked his lips, preparing to give me the answer, which he quietly whispered.
"I'm not circumcised."
I hadn't been expecting that!
Well, I wasn't sure what to expect, Skyler was turning out to be full of
lately. But I think my surprise was more obvious then I'd hoped because Skyler suddenly seemed very nervous.
He moved his eyes away from me quickly, swallowed hard and began to move uncomfortably on his bed.
"Oh dude, it's OK, I think
it's kinda cool!" I said getting up from the bed I was on and sitting down
next to him.
I realized too late, however, that I was now being far more obvious about something else. If I thought I was hard
before I was like a steel rod now. Sitting together in our boxers was quite arousing but now I was inches from him.
"Really?" he asked with doubt in his voice.
"Yeah. I mean I've never
seen an uncircumcised one before. Well except for a drawing of one in sex
those drawings never look like anything anyway. Besides I hear it's better then being cut."
"Hell yeah it's better then
gettin your willy sliced up," he said with a joking grin, seeming more
at ease again. The
thought of Mrs. Crabtree dividing cylinders popped into my mind again and I had to laugh out loud which brought
a few giggles from Skyler as well.
As our laughter subsided
I paused for a minute, debating if I should bring up the next question,
if I should make a
move that could turn very interesting at the risk of making him uncomfortable again.
"So…what does it look like?" I finally asked.
"Well…it has like…extra skin around it," he tried to explain.
I waited again before I took
the next step. I'd promised myself I would take some risks and here was
"Can I see?" I asked with
both hope and fear, but he didn't look up at me with a shocked expression
like I had
expected. Instead he just kept his eyes to the floor and bit his bottom lip a little.
"I dunno," he said.
"I…I'm just…kinda curious
to see one," I said. "After all, you've seen mine almost everyday in PE,"
with a smile. He looked up at me, returned my weak grin, and once he decided there was no bad intent in my
request simply said "OK."
I couldn't say anything or
even move as Skyler uncrossed his long smooth legs, lifted his cute little
butt off the
bed slightly and very slowly began to slide his boxers down. I'd seen lots of boys naked before but this was a
world away from just any kid in the shower or the locker room at the pool. I was shaking!
He moved his underwear down,
slowly revealing the small patch of brown pubic hair, the smooth shaft,
round hairless balls, until his boxers were down to his knees and he nervously leaned back to allow me a full view.
I was in awe of his beauty. He had a wonderful body and the area hidden under his boxers was no exception. His
penis seemed average size for a fourteen year old, limp and resting on a pair of well sized balls. The foreskin
covered his head completely, perfectly smooth and tapering to a small point at the end, a small ridge outlining the
head hidden inside. This was something very new to me and I was amazed by it.
"So you've been afraid to
let the other guys see you because of this?" I asked once I was able to
I think it's really cool."
"Really?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think it's pretty
neat. So…what happens when you get a hard on?" I asked, stepping further
"Well, it's just like yours," he began slowly. "It gets bigger, and…the head comes out."
"Well…like this," he said
as he lowered a shaky hand to his flaccid penis and gently pulled the foreskin
expose the moist, pink head.
"Wow…that's like the coolest
thing I've ever seen! How does it work when you…you know…" I stuttered,
making a small hand gesture to demonstrate what I was trying to say.
"You mean wank off?" he asked with a giggle.
"Yeah," I said blushing. "I mean…all guys do it."
"I know. I guess it just
works like any other. Just move the skin up and down," he said with some
returning to his voice. But again he surprised me by actually moving his foreskin up and down over the head to
demonstrate, his penis beginning to stiffen. This was mind blowing!! I was sitting next to Skyler, watching him jerk
All too soon he stopped and
moved his hand away, looking down at his half hard cock and avoiding my
just watched, wanting to do so much, but too scared to try anything. Skyler began to lean forward, ready to pull
his boxers back up and cover himself again when I made the big move.
"Skyler," I said. He stopped.
"Can I?" I asked, looking at the side of his face. Slowly he turned to
look me in the
eye with his shimmering blue pools. I could see the nervousness in them and maybe a little fear, but somewhere
deep down I saw his approval. Or at least I wanted to.
My eyes roamed down his taut
body to where my hand was already reaching for his member. Gently I wrapped
my fingers around the warm, firm shaft. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, a lot different from holding my
own. It was rigid and hard but still felt a little spongy in my hand. I moved my hand up pulling his foreskin with it,
sliding up over his pink head. There was no friction between my hand and him, only the movement of his skin
against his penis. I was throbbing inside my own boxers, my leaking pre-cum forming a big wet spot on the front.
If I'd dared to touch myself I would have shot instantly but I wasn't paying any attention to myself, only to the act I
was performing on Skyler.
I moved myself closer to
his body and glanced at his face for approval, but his eyes were closed.
He leaned his
head back slightly, his bottom lip quivering as I gradually increased the speed of my hand. The sensation of his
boyhood in my hand was beyond anything I had expected. I had never touched another boy like this before and
now I couldn't have stopped if I tried. Skyler's breathing increased but he didn't move, he didn't make a sound. I
imagined how good it must feel for him, how pleasurable it must be to have another boy stroking your cock. I was
probably taking as much pleasure in doing this for him as he was receiving from it, just knowing that I was pleasing
him, but at the same time I was horribly frightened. My stomach was in a knot with a mix of fear, excitement, and
arousal. I wanted to lean over his thin chest and suck on his hard pink nipples but I was frozen, all except my
hand. I stroked up, his head disappearing under his foreskin, stroked down, the pink head popping out again moist
with pre -cum, up, down, up, down. Skyler began gasping for his breathe, the boyish muscles in his chest and
arms tightened and for the first time he let out a sound, the sexiest, most adorable sound I'd ever heard in my life.
It was lustful and innocent at the same time, a squeaky whimper that cracked in the middle. I kept stroking, faster,
spurred on by his erotic noises. He squeaked again, gasped and moaned, his whole body stiffening like his cock
which swelled as the first huge gob of his boy-cum shot from his cock head. It dropped onto his chest, followed
by another, and another, and another, until the shots calmed to a thick stream dribbling from his penis. I slowed my
hand and eventually stopped as Skyler lowered himself to the bed, relaxing on his back with a sigh, his eyes still
My mind cleared as if I was
coming out of a trance as I released my grip and moved my hand away from
Skyler's softening erection. It was the wildest, most erotic thing I'd ever done! For a second I considered bending
over him and licking that warm fluid off his chest but I was quickly overwhelmed with the realization of what I'd
just done. What did I just do?
Skyler didn't move, didn't
open his eyes, didn't make a sound, nothing, and neither could I. I was
afraid if I
moved the consequences of what I'd just done would come crashing down on me. What was wrong with me?
This was what I'd been dreaming about since the day I met this boy, and now it happened! You would think I'd
have been overjoyed at that moment, but I wasn't. My heart was pounding and I was truly afraid that maybe I had
ruined our friendship, that maybe he didn't want this and I had betrayed his trust.
Eventually I found the courage
to stand. I watched Skyler for any signs of life but the only movement
I saw was
his chest gently rising and falling with his rhythmic breathing. Is he asleep already? I decided it would be best to at
least cover him up and began looking for something to wipe his chest with. I found a towel among the clothes on
his floor and carefully bent over him to wipe his sticky cream from off his body. As I began to clean him off his
eyes fluttered open. He looked up at me sleepily and I froze once again. I had no idea how he was going to react
to what had just taken place.
"Thanks," he whispered as
he took the towel from my hand and finished cleaning himself. Did he mean
for the towel or for what I'd done? But I could find no answer in his face, he wouldn't even look at me. I turned
the lamp off and crawled into the other bed, leaving Skyler to clean up and get into his bed. For some reason I felt
ashamed and guilty. I felt like I'd taken advantage of him. I rolled over turning my back, unable to look or talk to
him. I waited for him to say something, to tell me it was OK, or even to say good night, some sign that I hadn't
made him feel bad, but he didn't say a word. I felt the tears trickle down my cheeks but I held back as best I
could. Maybe I was too ashamed, maybe it was just my pride, but I couldn't let him hear me crying. I shouldn't
have done that I repeated to myself in my mind. I thought I was giving him pleasure, but did he enjoy it? He never
told me to stop, he didn't say no, but he did look scared and he never said I could. What if I imagined all the
signals again? What if he didn't want me touching him but he was too afraid to stop me?
I must have fallen asleep
at some point because I woke up in the middle of the night. The room was
enough moonlight shown through the window blinds for me to see most of the room. I wondered why I had woken
up, I didn't have to go to the bathroom or anything. Wait, it was a noise. Then I heard it again, like a grunt or a
moan, then a little squeak. I rolled over looking for Skyler wondering if it was him or maybe something outside.
"No…no…" he mumbled in his
sleep, rolling around shaking his head back and forth. Suddenly he burst
tears, his arms and legs flailing against the bed sheets.
"Skyler," I said quietly
sitting up in bed, but there was no response, only more crying. I threw
my sheets back
and jumped out of bed, moving to his side quickly.
"Skyler, wake up!" I said
a bit louder. He stopped moving but continued crying, his arms crossed
over his chest,
his hand forming a fist and pressed close to his mouth. He was having some kind of nightmare. I shook his
shoulder a few times hoping to wake him up from the dream that was torturing him but he was sleeping too deeply.
As he continued to cry my own tears returned. I loved him, I knew that for sure, and seeing him in any pain,
seeing him cry, hurt me. If I had hurt him earlier that night then I hurt myself ten times as much.
"Mum, please," Skyler pleaded
between his sobbing. He wasn't having a nightmare about me or what I'd
it was about his mother! I didn't want to make the situation between he and I any worse but watching him in this
state was breaking my heart. I pulled his sheets back and crawled into bed next to him, pulling him close. He
snuggled against me, still asleep and crying, his bare shoulders and back pressed against my chest. As I brushed
his hair away from his face his crying began to calm. He stopped shaking and soon his gentle breathing returned to
"I'll never hurt you, Skyler,"
I whispered to him. "And if I have hurt you already I'll do whatever it
takes to make
it right. I promise."
I held him close to me and
continued to brush my fingers delicately through his hair until we had
Wow! What did ya think of THAT? Send your thoughts (and your emails) to firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll be back with chapter 5 in a few weeks. Until then, laters =)