This Life Of Brian
By David Heulfryn
www.screeve.org and http://screeve-extra.blogspot.com and http://screeve-varda.blogspot.com/
I am not the Messiah; I'm a
very naughty boy!
I warned all me mates that I'd do it. And do it I did. It was right after we finished our last exam and that meant that school was over. Forever, for good. No longer would I have to go to that dreary building being talked down to by my inadequate teachers. I'm sure they just like to laud it over us kids because they couldn't do any other job. And teaching wasn't exactly suited to them as they instilled no enthusiasm in me for any of the subjects.
We were told to put our pens down and remain quiet while someone shuffled round our lonely desks to collect our exam papers. I had finished ages ago and was slouching with my arms folded and my eyes closed. Why waste the time, I could catch up on some sleep.
Charlie, me best mate, kicked me in the shins and I pretended to wake up. He told me it was time to go and although I didn't shout, I did raise me voice slightly to ensure all those badly dressed teachers could hear me. "That fuck that's over now so I can get out of this dump."
I must say that I got some very dirty looks from the teachers and I bet some wanted to say something but thought I was outa there now and outa their hair.
A group of us met outside the gates to start the walk home. They were all calling me chicken saying that I didn't have the guts to do it. Well, first to go was the contents of my specially bought transparent pencil case. Each garden we walked past got an item. A pen, pencil, compass, ruler, pathetically tiny calculator, rubber, set square (which I never used in any exam, not even maths - god knows why me Mum bought it me.) Lastly some garden hedge became home to the pencil case itself.
Then me tie came off and I played with it around my neck, pulling it one way then the other before tossing it into the gutter where I thought it belonged. This got a huge cheer from me mates.
While humming some indistinct stripper tune, I slowly unbuttoned my white shirt. I didn't have a coat with me as it was the start of summer and I didn't need one. We do all our exams in June and July in England so that the teachers can have a good laugh at all the wussy kids suffering from hay fever as they sniff their way through the exams. By now you must be getting the idea that I think all teachers are sadistic bastards, and you wouldn't be far wrong.
My shirt started to billow out as it got caught in the slight breeze. I loved the feel of the air on my chest, it made my nips pops out and the feeling it gave me when my shirt rubbed against them was fantastic. If all me mates weren't around me I would certainly have played with them. I'm sure there is a nerve going from each of me nips straight to me cock. They're like a remote control for me knob. Tug on them and me knob flinches. Mind you, at sixteen and a half you could tug on any part of my body and it'll make me knob flinch.
I pulled me shirt from me trousers and struggled to get me arms free. They all laughed as me hands wouldn't slip passed the cuffs, which I didn't unbutton. Never did, I'm a lazy arse. Pulling the sleeves inside out, I tugged hard and pulled myself free.
With a hoop and a skip, I twirled me shirt round my head before letting it drift behind me and onto the pavement.
I heard Charlie moan about something and he must have dashed back and retrieved my now dirty shirt.
"Here y'are, Charlie." I said as I bent down and threw my black shoes over me head. I heard him start shouting 'fuck' at me, I think one must have hit him on the head.
Hopping on alternate feet, I tugged me socks off and chucked them into the road.
So barefoot and wearing only my trousers, most of me mates though that was it. But I turned round and started to walk backwards. Looking at each of them in turn, my hand started unbuttoning my trousers. Lowering my fly I let them fall to my knees and I heard a chorus of 'bloody hell' and 'fuckin' hell'. I stared at them while they saw my tight and white boxer briefs hug my lunchbox nice and snug. Some cheered and hollered while a few just stared at my basket.
I clutched and squeezed my bulge as I blew a kiss into the group before turning to show them my cute bubble-butt.
"I hope there aren't any skid marks back there." I called out and they all creased up laughing.
After another spot of hopping, my trousers were let loose over my head again and into the waiting arms of Charlie. "There y'are mate." I shouted at him. "Have a sniff of them, you'll enjoy it."
I think I was beginning to piss off Charlie as all I heard him say was "Fuck off."
I was now nearly home and I turned to go up my street. Some of me mates went the other way to there homes but a few wanted to see if I'd go all the way.
At the bottom of my drive I stopped, turned to the guys and said. "Well, I'm home." And without any warning I pulled down my boxer briefs and stood there looking at them. They were all gob smacked, surprised that I'd actually do it. Then I noticed that one guy had him mobile pointing to me. That bastard, Oliver, had been filming me all the way home. I made me horny and I felt my knob start to grow.
I threw my boxer briefs to Charlie, which landed on his face, and walked up to my front door. "See you later guys."
Charlie scuttled behind me like a mouse.
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