Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2001 19:18:21 EST
From: DrJJC19@aol.com
Subject: Through My Eyes, Chapter 2

Well, here's the second chapter! Hope you all are liking the story so far
J.


Chapter 2

    Everything was perfect up until that last day of school. I had an awesome
girlfriend who I was crazy about, pretty good life, good grades, and friends.
Everything I could ever want!

    All the way home I stared out the window at the neighborhood whizzing by
in a blur, thinking. I can't possible be gay! Am I Bi? No! I'm a normal,
full-blooded heterosexual! But then why would I be thinking about Cody like I
was? You're just tired from exams. You don't have any control over your
emotions! You're stressed! Everything will be perfect again once you're at
the beach, soaking up the sun.
    When we arrived home, I got out of the car and immediately went inside
and up to my room. My Mom met me at the front door and started to say
something, but I was too distracted to even realize she was there. I entered
my room and closed the door, throwing my backpack on the floor carelessly. I
plopped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. My mind raced with all
these thoughts that I just wanted to go away. I didn't need this! I had a
homophobic brother, all of them have disappointed my parents to no end! I'm
suppose to be the perfect son that gives them no problems. What would they
think if they knew? Knew what, Jack? You're not gay or bi or whatever! It's
just stress, or a phase. It's nothing!
    I constantly tried to reassure myself that it was nothing, but my brain
kept wandering and thinking overtime about this new feeling that had flooded
me mercilessly.
I felt like I was going to burst, so I got up and walked over to my desk,
taking a seat. I opened a drawer and pulled out a blue notebook, then grabbed
a pen from the cup on the desk. I opened the notebook and no sooner did the
pen touch the paper that two and a half pages were filled up and I was still
going. I wrote down everything about Cody and this new, unwelcome feeling
that was taking me over. I was being pulled into an endless tunnel of
uncertainty and confusion and I had to get out before I went insane. Two and
a half pages turned into four and finally I had to stop before my hand fell
off. As I signed the end of the entry into what I guess you could now call
journal, the phone rang. I sighed and walked over to my nightstand, picking
up the phone and plopping down on my bed.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jack!" came Jessy's cheerful voice on the other side.
"Hey." I replied, not realizing that I had sounded less than my normal self.
I should have known better than to let my voice show any sign of sadness or
frustration because Jessy always picks up on my emotions the second she hears
my voice.
"What's wrong, baby?" she asked, concern filling her voice.
"Nothing, Jess, I'm fine. Like I said, I'm just tired from studying so much
this week." I lied, well, half lied. I was exhausted, but that was the least
of my worries.
"Liar. I know you as well as I know myself, Jack!" I was caught. But what was
I suppose to tell her? Jessy, I might be gay! Yea right! Just what I needed,
to hurt my girlfriend and best friend and make her disgusted by me. I needed
her. She had always been my rock. She'd helped me to break out of my shell.
Up until I'd met her, I'd always make excuses not to go to parties or out
with friends. But when I met her, she showed me that I can never experience
life unless I break out and try new things.
"You there, babe?" Jessy broke my thoughts.
"Huh? Yea, I'm here."
"Jackson, what's wrong?" Uh oh, she's braking out my real name, and in that
sweet little voice of hers that makes me want to cry.
"Nothing's wrong, Jess. I told you already, I'm tired." I snapped.
Immediately, I realized I had been too harsh.
"I'm sorry. I'm just stressed out." I said softly.
"It's ok. I know you're stressed, but school's out now! And you'll be heading
to the beach this time in two days where you'll do nothing, but lay around
and come back with a savage tan. You'd be so sexy with a tan, if you could
get any sexier." I blushed. She always knew what to say to make me blush,
although it didn't take much.
"Yea. I can't wait." I said simply.
"So,  you wanna go do something before you leave? A goodbye date?" Jessy
changed the subject. I really didn't feel up to going out that night. I
needed time to think.
"Not tonight of course, I've got to get some rest as I know you do. But we
could spend tomorrow together!" She read my mind. How did she do that? I
smiled.
"Sounds good."
"Great! I'll come pick you up at 11, so be ready, k?" It was pathetic that my
girlfriend had to drive me everywhere, but she turned 15 in December and got
her restricted a couple of months earlier. And as a late Birthday present,
her parents gave her a used Jeep Cherokee. Not bad, eh?
"Ok, I'll be ready! I'll see ya then!"
"Ok, love you, Jack!" She said cheerfully.
"Back at'cha, Jess." I said softly into the phone. I couldn't say it. I just
couldn't. After what had been running through my mind, for some reason, I
just couldn't tell her I loved her. I did, I know I did, but I just couldn't
say it. I hung up the phone and took a deep breath. I looked out the window,
out at the marshes. I got up and went over to the door that led out to my
balcony. I opened it and stepped out into the warm, summer evening. I could
feel a light breeze coming in from the ocean that stood only a few miles
away. I looked up at the clear blue sky. The sun had sunk down a little lower
into the horizon, changing the atmosphere of the environment surrounding me.
I walked over and leaned against the railing. I loved standing on my balcony
on summer evenings. It was peaceful and serene, like no one else in the world
existed, but me and I was here to enjoy all the beauty the earth had to
offer...myself.
Myself...alone. That's the way I felt most of the time. It's funny how one can
be surrounded by people all the time, yet feel utterly alone.
"Jack, honey, come down to dinner!" I heard my mother call from my room. I
took one last breath of the fresh air before returning into my world. I
stepped inside, but left the door open, letting the air breeze in through my
room. The curtain's flowed as the light wind floated inside.

"So how was school, Jack?" My father, Charles, asked between forkfuls of
spaghetti.
"Its was fine. I'm glad I'm done though." I replied, taking a sip of my soda.
"I'll bet you are. How do you think you did on your exams?" he continued.
"Good." I said simply. I wasn't sure at all how I had done. I studied my ass
off, but the questions were complicated. I had no idea. My father nodded and
continued eating his dinner.
    The rest of dinner was quiet for the most part except for a few remarks
from James about me being a dork or something of that nature. I just rolled
my eyes at him and played with my food some more. I wasn't hungry, so I just
stared at it while I sat.
"Something wrong, sweetie?" My mother asked, standing up to take her dish to
the sink. I snapped out of my concentration on trying to make a smiley face
out my spaghetti noodles.
"Yea, I'm fine." I replied softly, rubbing my eyes.
"You must be exhausted from studying so much. It'll pay off though." She
smiled, taking my plate from me. James rolled his eyes and ate the last of
his bread. I got up from the table and headed into the family room. I took a
seat on the couch and flipped on the TV. I flipped through the channels until
I stopped on MTV and watched Christina Aguilera shake her pretty little butt
on the screen. Before she even got to the rap to "Come on Over Baby", I was
zonked out.

    I awoke to a dark house. The TV had been turned off at some point as well
as all the lights. I sat up from where I had laid and stretched. I stood up
and headed upstairs to my room, stripping off my shirt as I did so. When I
got to my room, I closed the door behind me and threw my t-shirt in the
hamper and began to undo my belt. I could feel a cool breeze on my bare back
and turned around. The curtains floated about. I felt like I was in a dream
as they slowly flowed to the light touch of the air. I shivered and walked
over to the door, pulling it closed. As I locked it, I heard a floorboard
creek behind me and I whirled around. It was dark except for the dim light of
the moon shining through the doors to the balcony. I squinted into the
darkness and stepped forward.
"James?" They said nothing. "James, get out of my room." I stepped up to him
and then the dim light of the moon shone on the figures face. My eyes widened
as I saw the familiar, intense eyes that had mesmerized me so.
"Cody." I managed to speak. He smiled down at me with that amazing smile that
almost made me fall over.
"What are you doing here?" I stuttered, not really caring, but curious at the
same time. Obviously he had climbed to the balcony and come in, but how did
he know where I lived?
He leaned down until his lips were millimeters away from my ear and he
whispered softly, "I came for you." His warm breath on my ear sent a wave of
some feeling through my body, but I wasn't sure what it was. I'd never felt
anything like that before.
    I looked up at him, dumbfounded, my mind racing with all kinds of
thoughts. He gazed down upon me with those intense eyes for a moment that
seemed to stay suspended in time forever. I could hardly breath. I wanted so
badly to kiss him for some reason. Am I nuts? Is this even happening? I think
I'm seeing things. He continued to stare down at me as if he was searching
for something. A small smile spread across his face.
"What?" I asked, wondering what the hell he was smiling at. Did he realize
how much he had made me question myself? Did he realize how he had completely
turned my semi-perfect life upside down? Did he...oooohhhh. Ooohh. His lips
softly pressed against mine and lingered for a second as if waiting for a
response. Soon, however, they began to move and I felt the most amazing
feeling I think I've ever felt. His lips felt so incredible pressed onto
mine. I moved my lips in unison with his and soon felt his arms wrap around
my waste. I slid my arms around his neck and pulled him closer into me.
I felt his tongue wet my lips and I opened my mouth. His sweet taste soon
filled my mouth, giving me a whole new feeling. I mean, I'd French kissed
Jessy countless time and done even more than that, but this was a whole new
feeling for me. His lips felt so soft and his taste was like nothing I'd ever
experienced.
He  pulled away and looked into my eyes as he had done before, as if
searching once more. He smiled once again as if he had found what he was
looking for.
"You want it, JC. You want me. What's it gonna be?" He said softly. With
that, he disappeared. I felt my heart catch in my throat. Oh God, I was going
cookoo. I felt my knees become weak and my head swim. Then, blackness.

TBC...