Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2001 16:29:49 EST
From: DrJJC19@aol.com
Subject: Through My Eyes, Chapter 3 (Category: Gay/High School)

Hey People! I hope you're liking my story so far. I know its not much with
the sex, so if that's what you're looking for then I'm sorry, I can't help
you there. But save this story for a day when you want something deeper, I
guess u could say. :) Thanks for all your emails, although they've been slim.
LoL. EMAIL ME!!!! just kiddin. Anyway, on with CHapter three

Through My Eyes
Chapter three


    I sat straight up in my bed, sweat pouring down my face. I could hardly
catch my breath. My mind whirled around in a giant whirlpool of thoughts. I
couldn't believe I had just had a dream like that. What was going on with me
the past couple of days? I wanted to scream. I felt like my head would
explode.
    I finally caught my breath and took one last deep breath before laying
back down on my pillow. I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep but
it was no use. I looked over at the clock.. 4:30 in the morning. I groaned
and rolled over towards the door out to the balcony. The moonlight shone
through my room, lighting it dimly. I sighed and pushed the covers off of me
and got out of bed. I slowly walked over to the balcony door and unlocked it,
pushing it open. I stepped outside into the cool night air. The coolness of
the air was a welcome contrast as it cascaded over my bare chest.
    I leaned over the railing and looked out over the marshes. It was high
tide and the moonlight over the water reflected off of it, giving the scenery
a beautiful glow. I stared out over the water and looked to my left where my
hammock gently rocked back and forth in the light breeze. I walked over to it
and climbed in.
    I lay in that hammock for what seemed like hours just staring out at the
beautiful water and watching the night go by. I suddenly felt myself becoming
engulfed with sleepiness and soon found myself drifting off.

    I felt a warmth on my skin as I awoke from my deep sleep. I slowly opened
my eyes, but had to close them because of the sudden brightness. I basked in
the warmth of the sun as it rose into the sky. I finally managed to open my
eyes and look up into the clear blue sky.
    The dream hit me once again, like a train wreck. My head began to hurt
again and the feeling of content serenity drained out of me and a sudden fit
of anxiety flooded into me. It didn't mean anything, Jack. Nerves, just like
you said before, nerves. But what if it isn't? I mean, I have noticed guys
before, but I never thought much about it. What if I'm...no I can't be. I
love women! I love Jessy!
"Jack!" My mother came to the balcony door and stared at me in surprise.
"What are you doing out here? You didn't sleep out here all night, did you?"
She put her hands on her hips. Typical mother thing to do. Where was the
shaking finger? "You know you could catch a cold!" Oh, there it is. I was
starting to wonder.
"I woke up from a bad dream..I couldn't get back to sleep so I came out here.
I didn't mean to, but I fell asleep. Besides, Mom, it's too warm to get a
cold." I rolled my eyes and got out of the hammock. I walked past her into my
room and grabbed a sweatshirt, pulling it over my head.
"Well, Jessy called and said she'd be by at 11:30 instead of 11."
"What time is it?"
"10:30."
I nodded and walked into the bathroom that was connected to my room. I closed
the door behind me and stepped up to the mirror. I studied myself closely.
Who was this person I was looking at? I couldn't tell anymore. Funny how a
stupid moment..or dream, can change the way you look at yourself.
    I shook my head and turned on the shower. I stripped down and got in,
loving the feeling of the hot water against my skin. I stood in the shower
letting the water cascade over me, feeling like I was almost turning into
water myself. I opened my eyes and sighed. Suddenly, I felt hands wrap around
my waist from behind. I jumped in surprise, but relaxed as a voice whispered
softly in my ear.
"So you've been dreaming about me.." The whisper was so soft. It seemed to
distant. I smiled and leaned back against the bare chest behind me and placed
my hands on the ones encircling my waist. I bit my lower lip as I felt light
kisses being placed on my neck and shoulder. I was losing myself in this
amazing feeling, as if it was taking me over completely.
"Jackson! You're going to waist all that water!" A voice came from the other
side of the bathroom door. I jumped at the sudden interruption of my
thoughts, feeling guilty for thinking of them, and suddenly the hands around
my waist disappeared and there was no longer a body pressing against me. I
whirled around to see nothing but steam. I shut my eyes and opened them
again, shaking my head.
"You're going nuts, Jack. Get a grip," I told myself, turning off the water.
This couldn't be happening to me. Not now. I've got an awesome girlfriend and
a great life. I don't need this shit; Not now, not ever!
    I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, drying off and wrapping
it around my waist. I stepped out of the bathroom and back into my room.
"Jack! Jessy's here!" Mom called from downstairs.
"Shit!" There goes my mouth again. I started running around, hurriedly
getting dressed. I threw on some boxers, cargo shorts, and then a button-down
blue shirt. I then ran into the bathroom and quickly ran my fingers through
my hair. I had kept it long since the 5th grade. About down to mid-ear. My
hair was one of my best features; soft and shiny. Jessy told me I should be
in a shampoo commercial. I brushed my teeth and took one last look at myself
before heading downstairs. I reached the bottom and looked up. I stopped dead
in my tracks.
"Cody." I stuttered as I stared at him, wide-eyed. He looked nervous.
"Hey, JC." He greeted me, giving a little wave.
"I stopped off to return some movies at the video store and found Cody here
wandering about aimlessly." Jessy explained. Had she been there the whole
time? I continued to stare at Cody, but soon realized I was being way too
obvious. I turned my attention to Jessy.  I nodded and smiled.
"I wasn't wandering.." Cody defended himself. Jessy giggled.
"Anyway, I told him he could come with us downtown and hang out with us.
That's ok, right?" Jessy asked sweetly. How could I say no? A part of me
didn't want to say no.
"Sure." I said, swallowing.
"I was going downtown anyway. I have a friend who lives down there, so I can
just chill with him if you guys want to be alone." Cody must've noticed my
uncertainty. Note to self: work on acting skills.
"No, of course not. You should absolutely come with us. It'll be fun." I
assured him, still unsure, but I think I pulled it off nicely this time.
"Great! Let's go!" Jessy said cheerfully with her usual bounce. Was she
always this peppy?
    We all left and climbed into her Jeep and began the short drive to
downtown Charleston. About thirty minutes later, twenty or so minutes being
taken up trying to find a parking space, we made our way to the market, which
had stands set up with little trinkets and things under a building that ran
the length of about four or five blocks. We walked through the crowded
marketplace, looking at all of the little things for sale.
"Oh my gosh, Jack! Look at that jewelry stand! Be right back!" Jessy scurried
away and left me alone with Cody. I was trying to avoid that at all
costs -- apparently unsuccessful.
"So, uh, when are you leaving for the beach?" Cody interrupted the nice
silence we had going. I looked up.
"Tomorrow morning," I answered simply. He nodded. I guess he noticed my
distance.
"Something wrong?" I looked up and put my best care-free face on.
"No, why would you say that?"
"Well, because you've been acting all weird every since you came downstairs
back at your place." Note to self: sign up for acting lessons.
"Sorry. Guess I'm still a little wound up..or I guess down, from exams and
whatnot." Great cover.
"I don't buy it. School's over. Its something else." Oh my gosh! Ok, now I'm
thinking he can read minds or something.
"What is this and intervention? You want to be a psychologist or somethin?" I
joked, my face turning a little read.
"Defensive. But I'm backin off." He smiled. Oh God..please don't smile at me
like that. I looked away. Jessy then ran up with a little bag in her hand.
Thank you!
"Look what I got!" She pulled out a bracelet and a necklace. I smiled and
told her I liked them and glanced over at Cody who quickly looked away. Had
he been looking at me? No. Something else must've caught his eye.
    The day went by pretty quickly. We strolled around the market, going into
various shops and then we ate at a little restaurant.
    Afterwards, we walked along the battery overlooking the water and the
Cooper River Bridge. Jessy saw someone she knew and rushed over to them,
leaving me alone, once again, with Cody. I stopped and leaned against the
railing, staring out over the water. What was with me lately? I'd never
thought about another guy like this before? But he's so...incredible. No, you
can't be thinking things like that! Stop it! I shook my head.
"Look, I know I've only known you for like a day, but you can tell me if
something's wrong. I'm a good listener." I looked over at him as he joined me
at the railing. I stared at him for a moment and then looked back at the
water.
"Its nothing..really." Oh, that was convincing.
"Liar." I looked down. "it's perfectly ok if it's too personal or whatever. I
understand. I'm here, though." I nodded, staying quiet. Then he put his hand
on my arm and gave it a little squeeze. I looked up at him questioningly. He
just smiled at me and quickly took his hand away.
"Sorry about that guys! I hadn't seen her in forever!" Jessy ran up to us. I
quickly turned, very nervous and looking very guilty. Cody snickered and
Jessy gave us both strange looks. I smiled and took her hand, beginning to
walk again.

I walked into my house and closed the door, leaning back on it. I let out a
sigh of relief. I shook my head and made the trek up the stairs. No sooner
did I get to my room and on my bed before my Mom was yelling from downstairs.
"Jack! Someone's here to see you!" I groaned and got up hesitantly. I walked
down the stairs grudgingly and was surprised to see Cody standing there.
"I told Jessy I'd walk home since I only live a couple blocks away. I want to
talk to you." Cody said, fidgeting.
"Um, ok...come on up to my room. We can talk there." Maybe that was a bad idea,
but it was too late to take it back. Besides, it was the only place with any
privacy. He followed be up to my room and I let him in, walking in myself and
closing the door.
"Let's go out on the balcony." I suggested. He looked over.
"You have a balcony to your room?" He asked in surprise.
"Yea. I won the coin toss with my brother." We stepped out into the dimming
light of the evening. He turned to face me when I stepped out.
"What's up?" I asked, not sure if I even wanted to know.
"Um.. I.." He looked very nervous.
"What?" I asked, still not sure if I wanted to hear what was coming. He
looked at me with those eyes. They were filled with worry and anxiety. I took
a step closer to him and looked at him worriedly.
"Is everything alright?" I asked.
"Um.. no, not so much." He took a few deep breaths and looked at me again
with those eyes. I was beginning to get really worried.
"Cody, what's the matter? Did something happen?"
"Well, sort of.." He said vaguely.
"I'm not following."
"JC, I'm, well, that is...I'm..."
"What? You're scaring me here!" I demanded.
"I'm gay." Ok, that was a slap in the face. I stood there, dumbfounded, not
knowing what to say. I just stared at him as his look of worry turned into
sheer panic.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry. I just..I figured you wouldn't freak out..Oh shit.."
He rambled.
"Cody. Stop." He stopped and looked at me, confused. "It's ok, Cody."
"It is?"
"Yea! No big deal. I mean, it's a surprise, but it's no big deal." I didn't
really know what to say.
"Really?"
"Of course!" I reassured him. I smiled and put a comforting hand on his arm.
He stared at it in surprise and then looked up at me. He gave me a look I'd
never seen before. I was confused, but before I knew it his lips were pressed
on mine and his arms were sliding around my waist. I didn't know what to do.
Please let this be another stupid daydream or something. Please! I didn't
know what else to do so I just pulled away.
"What the hell was that?" I demanded, in an unnecessarily harsh tone of
voice. He stared at me in surprise. Once again, his eyes glazed over and that
look of panic filled them. This time, I didn't say anything to reassure him.
I was completely dumbfounded and mortified.
"Oh God, JC, I'm so sorry. I though..Oh my.." with that, he ran off. I
continued to stand there, completely at a loss. I couldn't move or speak. I
just stood there... I had just been kissed..by a guy...and I think I liked it.