Disclaimer: I don’t care anymore. You know you’re not supposed to read this if your 18, but whose to stop you. This is my life story, believe it or not, I don’t give a crap. Ha.
~From Cody~ (for the record, Tim is calling me Cody in RL now. I hate it….lol)
“It is time that I go home and face the music.”
“Alright Cody, you know our door is always open to you.” Jerry said
“Thank………Tim, I’ll talk to you later………Josh, I call you later to see how you are feeling.”
“Bye Cody.” Josh said
I grabbed my bag of clothes, and then headed out to my car. I drove the slowest speed I possibly could. As I got closer, I began to tremble. My hands were shaking bad enough that I had to pull over and compose myself. After 20 minutes of sitting in a parking lot, I felt I was ready to face the wrath of my parents.
I pulled into the drive way. I looked to the front window. Both of my brothers were standing there. As I got out of the car, the both left the window. I walked to the front door. I let out a deep sigh, and then went inside. Instead of going straight up to my room, slamming the door and turning on my music; I went to the living room. I sat on the couch and waited for my parents to make the next move.
To be honest, I figured they would be down my throat. I thought it was going to be just like last time I came home. To my surprise though, they weren’t. They both just sat there and watched TV. 30 minutes passed and still not a single word escaped my parent’s mouths. Both of my brothers came in and sat on the couch beside me. I looked at each of them. Tommy had a smile on his face. Lance had no expression. At least not one that was visible.
Another hour passed. Stilling nothing. I began to wonder if I had over done it, if I pushed them over the edge when I left the house for 5 days. I began to fidget. I started twittering my thumbs. Tommy noticed. I looked at him just as he winked at my dad. “They planned this.” I thought “The want me to get nervous so I will crack. Fuck that.” I crossed my arms and just sat there.
2 hours had now passed since I walked through the front door. Until now my parents were like statues, but I noticed my mom start to get uncomfortable. She is so used to all the voices of everyone talking while sitting in the living room. “She will be the first to break.” I said in my head as I watch her out of the corner of my eye. For me this felt like a cat and mouse game. Only I was not sure who was who. It started as them being the Cat and I the mouse. Then I turned the tables with Tommy screwed it up. Now I was determined.
“Cody Parker. Where in god’s name have you been? ..............Answer me……………..you have been gone for 5 days. No call, no text, nothing. I have been worried sick about you……………..So where were you? ……………………… Tell me Cody, where were you?” my mom said.
“I was at Tim’s house. You know the guy you told me that I wasn’t allowed to talk to anymore. I was over there. He and his boyfriend, Zach, are my best friends. They actually care what I’m feeling. They care if I’m ok. Mom you say you were worried sick, then why didn’t you call my phone. I’ll looked in my missed calls……………….. Nope nothing forms you. How about a text……………………….Ah nope, not a text from you either. I can tell how worried you were.
“Dad, nice try with the whole scheme you had cooked up. I saw the wink Tommy gave you. I’m not stupid. I’m smart enough to see that my parents are bigots. Not only are they, but they lie about it. In public you are caring and considerate to everyone. When you are behind closed, it’s a different story. Great lesson for you kids. Teaching them that it is ok to be a back stabbing piece of shit, a two faced asshole. That lesson got through to these two, but I see through the bullshit lies that you fill our heads with. I hope that it doesn’t rub off on Michaela as well.” I paused, to give what I just said time to sink in. The look on there faces where priceless. I still fell bad about what I’m saying to them, but this is what needs to be said if they are ever going to change.
“Now I came back to explain why I was gone. I had hoped that we could sit down and have a conversation like adults, but I see that that won’t happen.” I stood up and went to my room. I left my parents sitting there dumb founded.
I had left my room in a mess. I started cleaning. I put my clothes away. I hung the new shirts that I got for Christmas up in my closet. Then I put the jeans and various other bottoms away. About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on my door. “Hmm, mom or dad? …… Mom I bet.” I thought. I walked over and opened my door. I was surprised to find that it was neither mom nor dad. It was Lance. “Great” I said to myself “At least we will get this out of the way.” I opened the door wider, and then walked over and sat on my bed. Lance walked in and sat down on my computer chair. We just sat there and stared at each other.
Lance sighed and began talking. “Look Cody, we usually never see eye-to-eye on things. I mean for the most part, we hate each other. But I have to admit what you did and are doing it great. It is wrong for mom and dad to force you to stop being friend with what’s-his-face. You are willing to leave your family behind so you can be friends with him. That’s sweet. I don’t think I could or would ever want to do that for my friends. Course I’m friends with the same people that Tommy is friend with. They are people who make fun of guys like………………………….oh…………………………… What’s his name………………..Tim.
“Now I can’t say that I would be friend with Tim, but I find it admirable that even though he was put through hell, he showed up every day to school. That shows that he has heart. And I won’t take part in anymore of the fun that we have at his expense. But that’s not the reason I came up here. I wanted to come up here before mom and dads did, and say that I commend you for sticking up for your friends. If you tell anyone about this, I will deny it, and then kick your ass.”
He didn’t give me a chance to respond. He got up out of the chair and left. I sat there, with my jaw dropped. I was in shock. He was right. We never see eye-to-eye on anything. We fought about everything. But he is backing me up on this. He told me that he thinks that mom and dad are wrong in what they are doing. I think I began I feel love towards my brother.
The feeling was short lived. My dad cam into the room. He sat in the chair. He wasted no time in beginning his lecture.
“Look boy, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but you can’t me with anything less the utter respect. I’m your father, and you will do as I tell you and when I tell you. If I say you can’t be friends with a fudge packing faiy fucker, then you say………………….Yes Sir. Do you understand me? ……………’ He stopped. He was waiting for me to answer.
He stood up and raised his hand. As He was bringing it down to hit me, I grabbed his arm.
“No dad ……………..I don’t understand you. You are my father, but only by birth. You are no longer a father figure to me. Jerry is. He raised Tim to except everyone for who they are. He teaches his kids to be caring. And when he teaches that, he doesn’t got back on it. You do. The lesson that you taught me was that in public act one way, in private act another. I have lost all respect for you and mom. Parents are supposed to encourage their children to follow what they think is right, but with you and mom, it seems that you wasn’t us carry on you bigotry. Well I’m sorry, that is something that I will never do.
“I’ve decided that you and mom are no longer role models for me. I will continue to live here, but not out of choice. It is illegal to do other wise. I will continue to take you advice when and if you chose to give it. But I will take it as that, advice. I don’t know everything, and I don’t pretend to. But I will not do what you tell me to, if that order goes against my better judgment. I hope that one day both you and mom see that you are wrong in your views of people are different from you. When that happens, I will be you son again.”
With that being said, I got off my bed and began cleaning again. My dad stayed where he was. He just starred straight forward. After 30 minutes, he walked out of the room. I guessed to go tell mom what I have said. At least that is what I hoped he was doing. I really don’t feel like giving that speech again. I also don’t know if I could. I hoped that made a difference in them.
I pulled out my Phone. I made promise to Josh, I meant to keep it.
From Tim- Ok that is this chapter sorry it is so short, but it just from Cody. There is something that I need to tell you. I’m going to take a break from this story for a little bit. I have reopened a lot of things with this story and it is time that I face some of those. One of them going to go see my mom. It has been 7 years since she died and I have not been able to go to her grave on my own power. But I think that I can now. I have gotten this advice from a few people, and I will take. I have written her a letter. When I go to visit her, I will read it. Then take it home and burn it. Signifying that have let her go. I have decided to do this because a low blow that I got not to long ago. Some decided to attack me on a group. He joined my group and asked my members for help. He asked them if anyone will help him find that chapter where my mom off’ed her self. That was a low blow. It hurt. And hurt badly. I could take the comments about him thinking I should kill my self. But not my mom. I hope that he realizes that what he said there. And I hope he feel bad for it. I spent 4 years thinking that I killed her, that it was my fault. And then I got over it.
There are other things that I need to work out. And things that I have to plan. My wedding, plan for my dads wedding and the our baby that is due in 6 short months. I promise I will not wait 6 months to write more of this. But I need to work out my feelings before I can continue. Bring up the past has helped me in the long run, for the short term affects are affecting Zach as well. We are going through the same things and the same plans. And the tears and pain that this is bringing back for me is not what I need right now.
I will continue to write “The Tide Began to Rise” that has no baring on my life, and this way I can still keep some readers happy. I love you all. Feel free to email me, even if you are looking for an update on just how everything thing is going. Or just to say Hi. Timwhitestory@yahoo.com
I love you all.
Tim, Zach, and Cody.
I really do love you all, even the ones that dont email me. So u know if you are under age and u email me, im not going to turn you in. I know a 16 yearlod that reads it. So if you wana talk Email me, Or IM me. i will talk to any of you.