Date: Sat, 29 Jan 2000 14:21:52 GMT
From: wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com
Subject: Time Will Tell chapter 1

OK it might sound like a crappy and old excuse but this really is my first
story. Just so you know I am British so football is what Americans call
soccer, we drive at 17, drink at 18 (legally and it's a pretty popular
thing to start drinking when you are younger, I started at 12!), marmite is
the diarrhoea of Satan (commonly spread on toast at breakfast) and it
really is true that you either love it or hate it, there's no in-between
and as you've probably guessed, I'm a hater.

I gather that I have to mention for legal reasons that I HAVE to say that;
You have to be of the correct legal age respective of your country, state
or whatever and that you shouldn't go any further if you don't like reading
about gay relationships. Hope you like my story, please, please, please do
e-mail me if you like it, hate it or can think of anything that should
happen in the next chapter. wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com Enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time Will Tell
Chapter 1- Introductions

"Trace! Coming to meet me at lunch?"

"Where else would I go huh?"

I smiled at her as we walked towards each of our schools from the car park.

"See ya then" I shouted ending our shouted conversation as people looked at
us in what could probably most easily be described as disgust. You see, we
both come from the two most upstanding schools in our county and so are
constantly abused by the jealous and prejudice assholes that you always get
giving us a hard time. My school is an all boys school and Tracey's is an
all girls school but they are a three minute walk from each other so the
boys and girls constantly meet up at every opportunity in the day. Plus in
the sixth form the two schools share resources and have mixed classes at
each site.

"You ready ugly?" I jokingly asked one of my best friends Kate.

"Yeah fatty, let's split" She joked back. We have quite a strange
relationship. About three years ago we first met at a county youth
orchestra which we both played in.

Now she was always flirting with me right from the word go! I'd flirt back,
the difference was she seriously was attracted to me and I couldn't have
been attracted to her, or to any girl for that matter. She gave up hope of
her flirting and subtle attempts to make me realise she wasn't flirting
(which I pretended not to pick up on) after two years.


*****

OK, I can see that I should give some background info here, my name is
Daniel Owen, I'm 16 years old, 5' 8", I have a complexion which makes me
look as if I have a tan all year round and like somebody from the
Mediterranean in the summer.

I have a relatively chiselled jaw, light brown hair that goes dark blond in
the summer and have greeny-brown eyes.

I have never thought that highly of myself, not that I can remember, I try
to let people think that I do though. I don't think that I am that
attractive, but the girls seem to like me. I am pudgy, not fat not even
chubby, but I have, how should I put it? I have a little bit of extra skin,
my friends say that I don't, maybe it's just me thinking I do.

Anyway, I'm reasonably intelligent. Not too sporty. I love music, music is
the reason I live. I am pretty much an asshole when I want to be (not
often, only when people really get on my nerves). In an exercise we did in
PSE (Personal and Social Education) once, we had to talk about our best
friend and the qualities that they have which makes us like each other, my
best friend Luke chose me (even though it wasn't supposed to be a named
person everyone knew that it was me) and he said I was loyal, protective of
my friends and people I care about, trust worthy, intelligent and funny.

Ahhhh!

I am also a very unforgiving person when somebody hurts me though, it's all
part of this wall that I put up so that nobody can hurt me. I am quite a
suspicious person too. Oh and I am gay, but I suppose that that's why
you're reading this! I have always known that I was gay, and have always
hidden it. You have to, I have some sort of reputation to hold!

When I was 14 I told my then best friends (5 of them) that I was gay. BIG
mistake, our county isn't that big and when something gets spread around,
everybody knows before too long. So, two of them started telling people and
before too long I had my entire school sniggering at me when I walked
around the grounds. Not too long after that whenever I walked into the town
every kid, regardless of what school they went to, laughed and whispered
when I walked past, loads of people also crossed the road so as to avoid me
even.

What did I do? I did what any teenager who enjoys having friends and
attention would do, I lied!!! I denied everything, even that I knew who had
started the "rumours" up. I was pretty lucky actually (in some ways), one
guy from what our local town calls the school of hard-knocks (where
basically all the stupid, but burly kids go) sneered at me in town when I
walked past him and said "Fucking queer".

This guy looked like a brick-shit house (rugby players' build and about 7"
taller than me) by the way. Anyway I turned round John Wayne style and
said; "Hey! What did you call me?" So he turns round looks at me and says;
"You heard faggot boy." And before he knew what hit him (and I knew what
hit him strangely), I smacked him straight in the side of his face,
spinning him round 360 degrees before dropping to his knees. Before he
could get up, I grabbed his hair lifted his head and slammed his face to my
knee, then with the same leg took a quick hard kick at his ribs before
shouting "Don't ever let me hear you call me that again!" It was about that
time that his friends recovered from their original shock and realised what
I had just done. They started to come towards me. I was terrified. I
couldn't run too good so that wasn't an option. Each of them had pretty
evil expressions on their faces, which all looked up at me in unison and
changed their expressions equally in time to fear. I turned to look and see
what they were looking at and saw basically all the tough guys in my year
at school standing behind me with absolute looks of confidence on their
faces. As I turned my head again the other guys had stopped their approach
on me and went to their mate who I had vented my anger on moments before
and helped him up and away in silence. I turned my head again to the guys
from my school, who were looking at me now, a couple smiling which I
thought was weird.

Then the guy who could only be understood as the ring leader and the most
popular guy in my year at school looked at me looking pretty scary and said
with an emotionless face and voice; "Is it true, are you gay?" I looked at
him probably terrified and said sheepishly "No". He broke out into a smile
and said; "Then I think you should chip around us if you don't want any
more stick from dickheads like that" and beckoned me to follow him. Thus
began the start of a beautiful friendship!

The ring leader after that fight was Trix (his real name is Tristan Race
but everyone calls him Trix because he's the best football player in
Parkway [our town] and when on a pitch pulls off some pretty impressive
tricks). Trix and I soon became pretty good friends and I was quickly
accepted into their group because I had single- handedly laid out Carl
Beghin (the guy I fought with). Apparently this was a big social feat. I
wasn't socially like my new found friends. That's part of the reason they
like me I think, I didn't need to be as good at football as they were for
them to let me into their group, I watched them play it all the time, I
enjoyed it, but I hated playing it.

Mainly because I was crap at it! I made them all laugh, they liked my sense
of humour, that's another reason why they let me hang around with them I
think.

All these guys were like the top of the social chain at our school. They
were amazing all-rounders, they were excellent football players, athletes,
hockey players, intelligent and all damn good looking. Maybe that's why I
enjoyed watching them play football so much, there's something about
muscley legs that gets me going! After about a year or so, this group of
friends narrowed down as some families left the town and some of the guys
had an in-group argument. Basically what happened was the group of friends
I had originally made of nine people was reduced to three (excluding
myself), Trix, Luke and a guy called Scott. We started hanging around with
girls then, still being the most popular guys in school (myself now
included, may I proudly add) there was no shortage of girls to swarm us
from the school up the road. My three good friends each had steady
relationships going with the girl's schools most attractive specimens (I
can still tell what an attractive woman looks like, they just don't do
anything for me). Trix had Trace, Luke had Kate (from orchestra who flirted
with me) and Scott had a girl called Claire. I had nobody and whenever
asked why, I said it was because my mates had all the descent girls taken
and I didn't want to have to put up with the trolls that were left.

Now that our group had shrunk so much, we spent a lot more time hanging
around together as a group. It was one day that everyone came to my place
for like the millionth time (everyone loved to come to my house, it's
probably the biggest of all my friends and my parents are often away on
business, since they both own their own company they usually go at the same
time too). My younger brother (by only one year) had already made it home
from school and had a mate of his own in his room playing on his Play
Station. "Sean, I'm home. Turn that piece of junk off and get out of my
house! I've got company." I shouted at him. "Fuck you Danny, make me a
sandwich will ya?" he responded, we have a fantastic relationship and he
knows when I mean what I say and when I don't. "Watch yer mouth" I said
back getting nearer to his room. My friends and I all piled in to my room
and I put the radio on.  As soon as it was on I heard the sounds of one of
my favourite songs, Wonderwall by Oasis. I couldn't help but turn the sound
up quite a bit and start singing along. It wasn't till the song was half
way through that I turned my head and remembered that my friends were still
in the room and realised that my brother had come in too. They all just
looked at me mouths open wide except for my brother who was just smiling to
himself. I turned the music down and looked back to my brother as he said
"Showing off are you?" I didn't know what to say I was starting to blush, I
really just hadn't realised quite how loudly I was singing. "Fuck! I didn't
know you could sing like that!" Scott said. "You can really sing." said
Luke. "I.I.I.can I?" I stammered embarrassed but flattered at the same
time. "Oh please! He's just fishing for compliments guys." Sean added.

I had never really thought about it before. I guess I could sing well, I
could sing in tune at least and I enjoy singing.

"Surely you've heard me singing before" I said to none of my friends in
particlar.

"Not if you've always sung like that man!" answered Trix.

"Alright, stop gawking at him. You'll make him think he was the lost Beatle
or something." My brother said trying to stop my ego inflating any more
than he saw that it already had.

"You can sing pretty good yourself anyway Trix I've heard you before." I
said trusting that my brother might have a point.

"Yeah but not like that man, that was good. You ever sung in public?"

"Shit no!" but my attention had already been distracted, I missed out on
what Luke asked me next as I turned my attention to my doorway as someone I
had never seen before peeked nervously into my room. I looked at the guy,
wondering who he was, but then after I'd looked at him for what couldn't
have been more than a couple of seconds I didn't care anymore. OK, now
waterfalls are beautiful, the seven wonders of the world are beautiful, but
this guy was fucking spectacular, he made everything else that you can
describe as beautiful pale in comparison. I realised that he was staring
back at me and that I had been looking at him for far too long, I pulled
myself back to reality and looked at my brother who looked back through the
doorway and realised I hadn't met his new friend.

"Oh! Right, sorry. Conner, this is my brother Danny, and these guys are
Trix, Luke, Scott and Claire."

"Hi!" I said, trying not to let my knees buckle at the sight of him as they
were beginning to threaten to. "You coming in?" I asked my brother and
Conner, hoping to God that they'd agree to (my brother is always hanging
around with me and my friends, we enjoy his company and he likes my friends
so everyone is pretty cool with it really).

"Sure" ohhhhhhhh thank you God! I owe you big time.

*****

Where was I? Oh yeah.

"You ready ugly?" I jokingly asked one of my best friends Kate.

"Yeah fatty, let's split" She joked back. "So what do you think of Conner?"

What could I say, what did I need to say so that she didn't figure out I
was gay without doing Conner a gross injustice. I wanted to say that he was
the most beautiful thing on two legs and that I'd been like totally drawn
in by him. I wanted to tell her how his dirty-blond hair, his beautiful
soul-piercing blue eyes, thin athletic build, his voice, even the smell of
him turned me on like nothing ever had done before.

"He seems pretty cool" I said at last after realising that I'd been
thinking about him with one of those dopey 'I want to get into his pants'
smiles on my face for far too long.

"Only OK? Judging by the look on your face just then and when we all first
met him yesterday AND for all the time that he was in your room talking to
you yesterday, EVEN WHEN you're brother had left the room I'd say that
you'd think he was more than 'pretty cool'!"

I felt the blood drain from my head, I went dizzy and started feeling sick
so quickly that it was as if I'd just been stabbed with a knife or
something. Kate began to giggle to herself.

"Come on Danny. How long have we known each other now? I know you're gay."

"No I'm not." I said in vain. My face had already confirmed what she had
just told me she already knew anyway.

"It's alright," she suddenly said sounding concerned "you don't have to
worry about me telling anyone, I've known for a while now Hunny, don't
worry."

We walked in silence for about a minute, we were already late for school,
but neither of us rushed.

"How.how do you know?" I asked timidly.

Kate smiled and replied "Well you have never been out with a girl in your
life, you are always watching the boys playing football in the park after
school, I heard you singing along to a Boyzone song a while ago."

"But I never thought that those things would be enough for people to think
I was gay, I can tell you plenty of names of straight guys who cover all
those things you just mentioned!"

"You didn't let me finish! Where was I.that's right.you remember that time
I stayed over at yours because I was too drunk to go anywhere home?"

"Yeah."

"When I woke up in the morning you were talking in your sleep, now most of
it was just mumbling but one sentence that you said loud and clear,
unmistakably clear, was 'Fuck me Timmy!' That's the one that got me
thinking" She was grinning a stupid grin. She had put me off ease.

"Does anyone else know?"

"I doubt it. I've known you for a long time Danny, you don't know how
pleased I was to find out though, I'd thought that there was something
wrong with me because you never seemed attractive to me and I flirted with
you so much for what seemed like about two years."

Now it was my turn to smile, "I know, I just pretended that I didn't notice
or pretended that I thought that you were just joking. Hell you did
everything but strip to get my attention!" She blushed but smiled at me
with a 'I wish you hadn't mentioned that' look on her face.

I thought that I should change the subject, "What time is it?"

"We're already meant to be in first period. You thinking what I'm
thinking?"

"Mitchell's it is then." I said as we both started heading straight past
the school gates and to the coffee shop that was just two streets down.

*****

"You're really in love with him aren't you?" Kate asked quietly as I sipped
from my Coke.

"I think that's going to far, but it's amazing at how much I like him
already, you know? I spoke to him for like five hours, just him I didn't
even realise that everyone else apart from you had left the house the other
day. Hell, Sean had got bored and gone to bed without me noticing! It's
just.he's just so.I can't explain it.he's funny, intelligent, drop-dead
gorgeous. He just.captivates me.I couldn't get enough of him I'm just
praying that Sean brings him back round again tonight." I looked up to see
Kate laughing quietly behind her hand. I gave her a really confused look.

"You love him!"

"I don't know him well enough, but I can see that I will do before long"

"Do you think he is, you know, gay too?"

"If I thought that, even for a second, I would have kicked everyone out of
my room and taken him last night!"

"I don't know" she said, "he took a shine to you or else he wouldn't have
been talking to you for so long now would he?"

"I don't think he is, there's nothing wrong with talking to other guys,
that on it's own doesn't make you gay. Besides, he was going on about girls
an awful lot."

"So do you in front of the others!"

"I still don't think so, he's too.male you know"

"Hey, you're one of the most male males that I know, you know that had I
not heard you call Tim's name in your sleep that I would never have known!"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You're just trying to change the subject."

"I know, but, when you said that you heard me call what I did, that was
like six months ago, how come you only mentioned it today?"

"Well, I saw the look on your face for Conner yesterday and knew that you
liked him a hell of a lot. He's the only guy I have ever noticed you take a
direct interest in. Sure I guess that you fancy a lot of other guys but I
saw that he is a person you want to have sort of a special connection
with. You know what I mean anyway. You are in lurrrv with him!"

"Would you stop that! Do you have any idea how weird this is for me?"

"What's that?"

"Not even an hour ago I thought that I was the only person in our group of
friends that knew I was gay. Now I'm sitting in here drinking whilst
chatting about it with you like it was normal."

"HEY!" Kate suddenly shouted, scaring the crap out of me and getting the
attention of just about everyone else in the coffee shop. I looked at her
like a rabbit looks at a speeding cars headlights when they're going
straight for it, wondering what I'd said to get her so angry so quickly.

"There is nothing abnormal about you. OK? Does it make you feel like your
not a human, huh? You have desires. That is normal. There is nothing wrong
with that! You just have different desires to other people that's all. Hell
there are people who have many different desires to so many other people,
it's like marmite, you either love it or hate it. Some people like the
shitty gherkins that McDonalds put on their burgers and some don't. Some
guys like women and some guys like other guys. It's perfectly natural. So
don't ever let me even suspect that you think anything else. You should
never think badly of yourself, you can't help who you are, deal with it!"
Luckily she said that little speech quietly, but in an angry whisper
leaning over the table. There weren't many other customers in the place but
I didn't exactly want that to be broadcast around again!

	I looked at her sheepishly, she stared back waiting for me to
respond, I looked down at my drink in pretend disbelief then after a couple
of seconds said; "Marmite?!?"

	We looked at each other and started laughing.

"OK Kate you won me over, I guess you're right. It sounds corny, but I'd
never really thought of it like that before. Wow, so you compare gay people
to marmite?"

We laughed again. I can tell that things are going to pick up in my life
from now on.

Times are a-changing, I think this time I might be leading the new flow
though!

---------------------------------------------------------------

So there you go, can you guess what's going to happen? E-mail me and tell
me if you think you can predict my plot already!  That way I know what plot
to change just to annoy my readers (joke). wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com Hope
to have the second instalment of Time Will Tell out ASAP, I'm enjoying
writing this so it shouldn't be too long.