Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 17:06:25 GMT
From: Lucky Redwood <wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com>
Subject: Time Will Tell - Chapter 13

Hey people, I go on holiday tomorrow so I won't be able to work on the
story or write e-mails and stuff so if you write to me then it might take a
while for me to reply to you. Do write though, it'll give me something nice
to come home to!  wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com Speak t'ya all soon!

Time Will Tell
Chapter 13 - Revelation

"Hi Mrs. S., is Conner in?"

"No, I'm afraid he isn't back yet."

"Oh! Do you know where he went?"

"He said he was going out. He didn't say where but that he'd be at yours
for about one Danny." Ow. He hadn't been to mine yet and it was two thirty,
he'd lied to his parents and to me, I felt abused and hurt, why had he lied
to me, what didn't he want me to know about?

"Oh! Well maybe he's running late from wherever he had been. He mentioned
something about footy training I think, could that be where he is?"

"No, the clubs finished for the holidays they don't start up again until
the beginning of term. I wonder where he is, I'm surprised that he'd be
late to go to yours!  If it'll save any hassle I'll call him on his mobile
for you if you like, he should have it with him."

"No that should be OK Mrs. Shears, he'll probably wait at mine, if he does
come back and miss me on the way, tell him I'll stay at mine and he can
come over when he's ready."

"OK Danny, will do. I'll see you soon OK?"

"Sure have a good Christmas if I don't see you before."

"Oh, that reminds me, would you be able to come here for Christmas lunch?"

"I'm not too sure, I'll ask my mum if she's doing a family dinner or lunch.
If it coincides with her meal she'd probably prefer me to stay home. Thanks
very much for the invite though. I'll let you know as soon as I do."

"OK Danny. Bye."

"Bye Mrs. S."

	As I began my walk home, my mind started to play with a few
ideas. Why had Conner lied to me? He had told me that he had work to do at
home before he was allowed out. He said that he had house chores and
knowing his mum they wouldn't be finished till dinner time or late
afternoon. I had intended to go round and help him finish what he had to do
because I was starting to miss him. I hadn't seen him the day before or the
day before that. In fact I'd only seen him twice in the first week of the
Christmas holidays. He had been making excuses like family friends coming
for the day and visiting relatives for not being able to see me. Now I had
found out that he had lied to me about his days activities today I began to
wonder how many of his other excuses were true. I felt angry that he'd lied
to me. What was he doing that he didn't want me to know about? I could
never lie to him. I felt cheated.

I made it home and walked in through the front door, I could see my mum in
the living room watching the telly. I knew that if she saw my face now
she'd know that something was wrong and I didn't want to have to talk about
it. I was more keen on wallowing in my own self pity at the moment. I
walked quietly passed since she hadn't notice me come home yet. Why had
Conner been ignoring me, was he avoiding me? I continued my silent path up
the stairs and was disappointed to meet Sean on my way up.

"You OK Danny?"

"Yeah fine." I answered sadly.

"What's wrong? Tell me."

"Conner's avoiding me."

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him all week practically and he's lied to me
about where he was going to be today." I had walked to my room with Sean in
tow and had slumped down on my bed.

"Could he have just changed his plans?"

"No, he said he had chores to do around the house and his mum said he
hasn't been in all day."

"Oh."

"Why did he lie to me?"

"I couldn't tell, it's probably nothing important. Maybe it's something
personal he has to do."

"He'd have told me. Besides he still lied to me."

"Sorry bro. There's nothing I can suggest, I'm afraid, you're on your own.
I'm sure you'll sort it out soon though." With that he waved bye and left
my room closing my door behind him. Sean seemed to be a bit complacent
about my problem. It hurt me that he was, but I put it down to him thinking
that I was over reacting.

	Had I done something wrong? Had I said something to upset him? I
couldn't remember him being upset though, I'd of noticed if I'd hurt his
feelings. I couldn't think of anything that I might have done to make him
feel that he had to avoid me.  Had he grown tired of me? Impossible, he
loved me. Or was I just so blindly in love with him that I didn't realise
that he wasn't in love with me? Did he not want to go out with me anymore?
I was terrified that that might be the truth. I began to feel seriously
miserable. What would he see in me anyway, I'm fat, I'm not exactly the
most good looking guy in Britain, there are a lot of things that I would
like to change about myself. Why should I hold Conner back? He was trying
to move on. I began sobbing, water streaming from my eyes. The thought of
Conner not being in love with me was breaking my heart. I wanted him so bad
and couldn't think of any reason why he should stay with me. He was the
most gorgeous, breath taking guy I had ever seen in my life. He's the kind
of kid that you get in films. He was perfect in every way, mentally and
physically. He's smart, caring, outgoing, beautiful in every way, perfect
smile, perfect teeth, body, everything. Why would he be with me? He could
have any girl he wanted and he could probably make a lot of straight guys
want to reconsider their sexuality! He didn't want me anymore, I would have
to stop pestering him so that I could at least salvage some friendship for
when he did break up with me.

	I was crying openly now, my face screwed up, my eyes pouring out
tears that rolled down felling as if they burnt my cheeks. I couldn't face
life without my boyfriend, without my Conner.

"Danny! Sweetheart what's wrong?" My mum had come into my room, she'd
probably used that weird ESP thing that mums use to find out how their kid
is feeling at any given moment. I couldn't answer her though, I was crying
too much. I just laid there with her arms wrapped around me as best as she
could get them, her rocking me slightly from side to side and giving me the
occasional kiss on the cheek in a bid to calm me down. It didn't work. I
just carried on crying. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong
darling."

"Conner's been avoiding him and lying to him." Sean was standing in my
doorway again.

"Oh Danny. I'm so sorry. Do you have any idea why?" I managed to shake my
head and hold back some of my cries managing to finally recompose myself.

"He hasn't seen him all week." Sean said continuing to fill my mother in
with the details of my problem.

"I'm sure he isn't doing it to you on purpose Danny. If it's any
consolation when your father and I started going out, he would ignore me
for weeks or so from time to time."

"No that doesn't help at all mum, you're divorcing each other remember?"

"I suppose that was a bad example. Conner will come round though, he'll
realise what he's missing out on soon enough." I thought differently but
didn't say so.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'd just like to be left alone for a while please."

"OK, but I'll be downstairs if you want anything OK?"

"OK." With that she left me to my sulking again.

*****

	I heard a gentle knocking on my door.

"What?"

	The door opened and my mum came into my room again.

"It's Conner for you. I told you he'd be back!" She handed the phone to me
and walked out closing the door behind her.

"Hi."

"Hey, what you up to?"

"Nothing."

"What's wrong? You sound upset. What is it Danny, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's all right." His voice alone had cheered me up marginally.

"The hell it is, I'm coming over wait there." He hung up and I turned my
phone off. I felt stupid, he was going to come over and find me in a right
mess, hearing his voice had cheered me up. He had pulled me out of my
self-worthlessness mode straight away. I suddenly felt sure that I had
majorly over reacted.

	He was in my room within five minutes, my mum had let him in the
house. I just lay on my side on the bed, took one look at him and felt
guilty and sad again, I don't know why.

"What's wrong Danny?" He lay beside me on the bed trying to win my eye
contact which I avoided. "Come on precious, tell me."

"Conner, what do you see in me?"

"What's brought this on? What do you mean? I love you Danny, you can't
doubt that can you?" I felt even more guilty now, I felt a tear roll down
the side of my face as I tried not to burst out into another flurry of
tears. "I love you more than life itself Danny. I see everything in you
Danny, your intelligent, sensitive, funny, caring. I could go on and on and
on but eventually I would run out of words that I could use to describe
just how much you mean to me, you should know that."

	I just lay there, I had another question to ask him. I was afraid
to though. I was afraid that he'd think I was checking up on him or
something. I couldn't bring myself to ask him.

"I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough for you babes. Look at me,
I'm not the most good looking guy in the world, I'm an emotional wreck half
the time.."

"Hey, hey, hey! That's enough of that! You're none of those things! You are
the best looking thing that I've ever seen! What's brought this on Danny,
why are you so upset?"

"Have you been avoiding me?" Conner looked at me a little upset that I'd
asked him.

"No. Not at all. What gave you that impression?"

"I went over to yours earlier to help you with your chores and you weren't
home, you haven't been home all day. And you've said that you've been
visiting relatives and entertaining family guests all week. This is the
second time that I've seen you in a week of the holidays, I see you more at
school." Conner smiled at me. He smiled at me? What was going on here?

"That's so sweet! You've really missed me haven't you. Ahhh I missed you
too hunny! If you must know I've been in town today with Kate looking for
your Christmas present, that's why I couldn't tell you what I was really
doing because I know you'd probably stalk me to try and see what I was
getting you and I really have been stuck with family and friends all
week. I f I'd have known that you'd get this upset I would have invited you
to join me but I didn't want to subject you to the boredom levels that I
have to suffer. I'm sorry hunny!"

	I felt guilt start burning into me now as well as embarrassment.

"No it's me that should be sorry babes, I should have trusted you."

"Look, forget it. It's nice to know that you care this much about me
anyway." I lay there in silence as Conner ran his gentle fingers through my
hair.

"I love you Danny. So much. Don't ever doubt that again OK?

"I love you to Conner. I'm so lucky to have you."

"Not as lucky as I am to have you!"

*****

"Sean? Are you OK? You haven't seemed yourself lately."

"I'm fine, a little worried about my geography course work but otherwise
I'm OK."

"You sure?"

"Uh huh."

"There is something wrong, I can tell. You know you can talk to me don't
you?"

"Yeah, but there isn't anything wrong."

"Sure?"

"YES!" His sudden shout surprised me. I was obviously annoying him. He
didn't want to talk about his problem. "Oh, I'm sorry Danny. I shouldn't
have shouted like that. I have a problem, but I can't really talk about it
with you. I'm sorry."

"We always used to talk about our problems together, why has that changed
now?"

"It's nothing personal, it would upset you though."

"Then don't I have a right to know, if it involves me?"

"Try and forget it Danny, I've said too much already."

"Is it to do with me going out with Conner, does it bother you?"

"No, why do you always think that. It's as if you expect there to be
problem with it.  Whenever anyone gets upset or pissed off with you, that's
the first thing that you come out with. 'Are you upset because I'm gay?'
You always ask that, just stop it.  People aren't always as closed minded
as you assume them to be." He shocked me a bit. He seemed to be quite angry
with me about something but he was refusing to talk about it."

"Why are you so pissed off with me Sean? What have I done?"

"I am not going to tell you."

"Why not?"

"I've told you, it would upset you."

"I'd rather be a bit upset that have you angry with me when I don't know
why."

"Not in this case."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Don't give me that, I want a real reason. Don't go getting childish on
me."

"I'm not being childish. You are, you don't have to know everything about
everyone Danny."

"I just want to know how I've pissed you off so much so that I don't do it
again."

"You're just being fucking nosy that's all."

"I'm not being nosy Sean! All I want is to help you with a problem but as
always you have to be a big man about it. You think you can solve
everything, you're so fucking stubborn sometimes, I want to help you and
you throw fucking insults back at me.  Fuck you then, I won't help you. Be
a know-it-all little prick, see if I care."

"FINE! You want to know my problem? You want to know what pisses me off so
much about you?"

"I don't really give a shit anymore Sean. You've missed your opportunity
now."

"No, no. That's all right I'll tell you, then we'll see if it's better you
knowing or not."

"Fine, go on then. What's been bothering you Sean?

"You fucked the guy I'm in love with."

	There is a moment in everyone's life when something happens inside
you, something changes and you are left realising that the world does not
actually revolve around you. You are left to try and find a placement in
life. That was the exact instant in my life when I became aware. I stopped
seeing Sean as my brother but as another person who was trying to overcome
the problems that life seems to set aside for you.  The only thing was his
obstacle was me, if he loved Conner anywhere as much as I did then I felt
truly sorry for him. I would not, however, stand down, I would fight for
Conner even against my own brother.

We both stood there in the kitchen, I looked on at my brother with shock on
my face. My feelings murky, and all mixed up. I didn't know if I felt sorry
for him or angry. I couldn't believe what he had just said either. Both
myself and my brother were attracted to men, Sean must be bisexual though,
he had already lost his virginity to Star Mariscal. We stood in silence,
looking at each other. I tried to work out what to say, one thing was right
though: I wish that he hadn't told me.


Uh oh! What's gunna happen next. Is Danny going to take the news well? Will
Conner find out? Will Conner reconsider his relationship with Danny? Who
knows?  Time will tell. See y'all wanna_get_lucky@hotmail.com