Tommy and Jake
My Kid Brother Tommy and His Best Friend Jake
So you may have noticed the title Nifty has for this story is 'Tommy And Jake'. Seems like the title I originally submitted (My Kid Brother Tommy and His Best Friend Jake) is too long. Okay, it is a little long but please somebody, anybody tell me it's catchy...
Well, anyways, on with the show...
This is a gay teenage love story. It is also about discovering and overcoming obstacles in life. There are going to be sexual situations depicted but that is not the purpose of the story, If you don't like gay relationships or are legally not allowed to read about them, please refrain from doing so. Do not copy without permission. Please enjoy!nftylvr@yahoo.com
Chapter 5: Cruel Jokes
I had almost slipped and revealed my deepest darkest secret to Jake and Tommy. An innocent remark that I liked someone and they got all Columbo on my ass, interrogating me. Racing to the house, I can't catch my breath, my heart races ninety to nothing in my chest and sparks flash behind my eyes. I need time to sit down and sort all this out. God, my head is pounding it could explode any second now. Sure, I get headaches sometimes, but this must be the grandaddy of all headaches. I grab for the counter and I fall...
"Okay everyone, he's moving, give him some space." I hear my Mom's voice coming from far away, hollow and indistinct. "Josh...Joshua...can you hear me? Wake up, darling. Can you open your eyes"
I feel like I am swimming in thick maple syrup. My eyes feel so heavy. Why am I so tired? I'm never this tired. I can feel people all around me as I lay...lay? Why am I laying down? I don't remember going to bed...is someone holding my hand? Why can't I open my eyes? So tired...
I hear someone moaning...nope, that was me. Did somebody drug me? Why can't I open my eyes? Oh man, my head is splitting. If somebody drugged me, I'm gonna be pissed. I try desperately to swim to the surface of this molasses I'm mired in and my arms feel like they made of lead. Got - to - open - my - eyes...ughh!
Finally, light...and a whole bunch of concerned faces. Oh shit, everybody from dinner. How embarrassing, I hope no one posts this on FaceBook. My social stays is zero already. Is it possible to have a negative ranking on the status scale?
"He's waking up!" Jake's concerned voice is to the right. He must be the one squeezing my hand so tightly. Nice. Jake is holding my hand and Jake is dreamy... No wait, Jake is holding my hand...everyone will see...no one can suspect I like him. I try to pull my hand away but his grip is like steel.
"Josh." Mom's voice is closer this time. "Thank God. Honey, you passed out. Just lie still for a minute. Sit up slowly and drink this water."
Which is it, lay still or sit up? Talk about your mixed message, I decide to sit up because I have humiliated myself enough already.
"Hi Mom. Everybody." I smile feebly. My hands are shaking and my head is still pounding. "Did you beat us home? Wow, you must have driven fast to beat us home."
"No honey, we got home right after you guys. How are you feeling? Drink some water and take your pills, did you forget them this afternoon?"
"I..."
"It's my fault." Jake interrupted. His voice sounded hollow and lifeless now. He was still kneeling next to me squeezing my hand "I forgot to remind him. We were so excited about the self-defense class, I just forgot."
Tommy put his hand on Jake's shoulder. "I forgot too, Jake. Don't beat yourself up. We both forgot. Its both our faults mom."
"It's okay boys," Mom's voice was soothing and calm. "Josh is fine, he just blacked out. It's not the end of the world. He's fine. Let's get him to a barstool."
I was pulled gently to my feet by the guys and led to a barstool where I finished my water. My head was still spinning and I was trying to sort everything out. Why had I blacked out? Was it the stress of almost cracking under Jake and Tommy's relentless questioning? Could it be because I missed a dose of my meds this afternoon? For the life of me I can't remember why I even take those stupid horse pills. But I have been taking them three times a day for as long as I can remember. Would missing one dose cause me to black out? Seriously? Why can't I remember why I take them anyway?
"Boys," Mom gets Jake and Tommy's attention. "Why don't you take everyone upstairs and get them settled. It's after eleven already and I think everyone should just go ahead and get ready for lights out."
The rest of the kids all groaned in disagreement. Lights out? No way.
She raised her hands above her head and replied forcefully, "Look, I know you guys are concerned about Josh, plus you want to stay up all night playing video games and talking, but you have a lot to accomplish tomorrow, so I won't take no for an answer. It has been a long day. Now scoot!"
And scoot they did. Even Jake and Tommy were afraid to argue. Jake released my hand and led everyone upstairs. The girls to went Tommy's room to change and use the bathroom while the guys all headed to my room where their overnight bags were waiting for them. I made an effort to get off the barstool to follow them but Mom put a hand on my knee to stop me.
"Seriously Joshua, how are you feeling?"
"I actually feel a lot better." I smiled. "The shakiness has stopped and my heart has settled down. I'm sorry for causing a commotion. I think I was super stressed when I walked in and then bam! I can't believe I passed out. It is so embarrassing, what is everyone going to say?"
"They won't say anything. We were all worried. No one will make fun of you."
"Yeah, I could tell everyone was worried, I thought Jake was gonna crush my hand." I chuckled and looked her in the eyes. "I feel a lot better now. Thanks, Mom."
"That's what mom's are for." She smiled and brushed my cheek. "I'll tell your dad we are staying home from the beach. Just in case."
"What?" I asked shocked. "No way! You guys deserve to get away. You work so hard. I'm fine."
I could imagine the battle going on in her head. Part of her was dying to go to the beach condo and shop and walk on the beach holding hands with dad. While the other part of her wanted to stay home to watch over and protect her first born.
"Go on." I smiled, getting up and stretching. "I am feeling great now. I don't want to be the cause of your ruined weekend."
Finally she nodded and hugged me. "You might make a good lawyer yourself one day, Josh. You argue your case well. I think we will go, but you better call me every few hours or I'll worry myself sick."
"Thanks mom, I love you guys." I hugged her again.
"You're welcome baby, now go up and be with your friends." she smiled and added. "I know I can trust all of you to be safe and not destroy the place, so your dad and I will head to Orange Beach tonight as originally planned."
"Isn't it kind of late? It would be safer just to leave tomorrow morning, wouldn't it?"
"And miss all the shopping tomorrow? Not on your life, mister. Besides the boys will be dividing up the driving every couple of hours, anyway. We'll be fine. We've done it lots of times before. We'll be back late on Monday."
"Monday? Don't you mean Sunday?"
"Oh sweetie, Monday is a school holiday, or have you forgotten that too?"
I giggled and answered. "I had actually, it must be my day to forget things."
"Bye baby, love you, be nice and don't forget to take your pills."
"I won't." I promised and hugged her goodbye. "Love y'all too."
I got up to the room just as Jake was coming out of the bathroom. I just wanted to run over and hug him. If he only knew what he did to me. But I knew that was out of the question and had to stay in my dreams.
He took off his shirt and asked me, "Are you feeling Better? I was so worried, you've never passed out before."
"I'm fine." I smiled walking past him. He was driving me crazy with that perfect gymnast chest. "I was just freaked out by all the questioning and stuff."
"I am so sorry about that Josh." He put his chin on my shoulder like in the car. It sent chills down my spine. Then he continued. "You know I know, right?"
"What?" I asked, shrugging his chin off as I spun to face him.
"Who you have the hots for." He looked me in the eye, only a few inches away, shirtless. Did he really know? Does he hate me? Do I really care as long as he keeps his shirt off?
"It's Nick Adams right?"
"Who?"
"You know, cute, blond hair...Oh!" He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Guess I was wrong."
"Yeah, guess so."
"So who is it?" He pleaded playfully. "If you tell me maybe I could tell you if they really were straight."
I sighed, heavily. "I love you, Jakey, but no way I could ever tell you who, it is. Besides, how would you know if they were straight or gay?"
"I have my ways of knowing." he smiled, then turned serious. "Why can't you tell me? I thought we were best buds."
"Exactly." I smiled sadly. "And that is why I can't. Are you trying to make me pass out again?"
He grabbed me into a bear hug. I could hardly breathe it was so tight. It was wonderful, but really tight. "I am so sorry Josh, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. You freaked us all out when we saw you laying there. It was awful."
He let go of me to pull off his jeans and underwear. I should have turned away so I wouldn't `perv' on him, but the boy is gorgeous. Besides, he didn't care who saw him naked. He put on the pair of boxers he always sleeps in and quietly headed to the 'studio' where we had put everyone's sleeping bags. I stripped down to my boxers and did fifty push ups and fifty sit ups. Not as many as I usually did before bed, but I didn't want to overdo it. I had just passed out after all.
Thinking about the sleeping arrangements I figured the two couples, Sebastian and Stephen and Becka and Samantha would end up at the far end of the room; to be 'together' away from the rest of us. Then Tommy and Jake would probably be off by themselves like always, leaving Richie next to me. Both of us gay and both single. You'd think that would be a nice opportunity for me to get to know him better and maybe do something with him. I knew nothing would happen, since Jake would only be a few feet away, and I couldn't cheat on Jake.
Out of sheer frustration I did fifty more push-ups and sit-ups. Hey, it had been a stressful day and I needed the endorphins. I wasn't stalling or putting off the inevitable, just trying to burn off a few of those pizza calories from earlier tonight.
I did finally head across the hall and was mildly surprised by the sleeping arrangement that had been sorted. The two couples had indeed put as much space as possible between themselves and everyone else. I could hear rustling and giggling and...other noises from them so I turned the stereo on to Tommy and Jake's favorite playlist and turned it up enough so the noise of ... um ... whatever ... um... faded into the background.
"Thank you!" was whispered from every sleeping bag in the room.
I had stepped over Richie's sleeping bag first and surprisingly over Tommy's next on the way to the stereo. I saw Jake's right next to mine. Unexpected but not unheard of. I remembered he ended up next to me at our last sleeping bag sleepover, saying Tommy fidgeted too much and in a sleeping bag that meant rustling noise. Turning out the lights I laid on top of my sleeping bag. It would be too hot to actually get in the sleeping bag. Jake was facing away from my sleeping bag and mumbled a good night. I slid across the space between us and hugged his shoulders in a quick good night and whispered thank you for the planning they had done.
As I slid back to my bag, he rolled over to face me, moving closer than I thought prudent, because his left arm was on my right side. The touch was burning and electric and cool and comforting all at once. It sent shockwaves of emotions though my already raw nerves. I wanted to run out of the room screaming, but I stayed, relishing his touch. The touch I ached for everyday and every night. Yes, I am worse than a twelve year old girl at a Twilight movie.
Jake's warm breath tickled against the back of my neck as he whispered, "Why can't you just tell me who you like? You know I already know. So does Tommy. Just tell me and get it over with."
I started to tremble, panic was beginning at my toes and heading slowly and steadily up my legs. Paralyzing every muscle along the way. My breath caught in my throat. Did he really know or was he just trying to trick me into telling so he could torture me? No, Jake wasn't like that. Was he just curious? Why did it matter to him so much?
To ease the panic, I practiced a calming exercise I used before every martial arts match. It only helped a little. I was doing my best to focus on my breathing. If I could just calm down, damn it, maybe I wouldn't pass out again. It took a few minutes but I finally got myself composed. I'm glad the lights were out. No need for Jake to see the tears of frustration escaping my tightly shut eyes.
"If you know, then you of all people know why I can't say it." I sighed loudly, still trembling. "You must understand how much it kills me not to be able to say it to you, you are my best friend. I don't keep secrets from you lightly."
"I know, Joshie." He moved an inch closer. I stopped breathing. What is he doing? Why does he have to be so close? The panic reached my upper body, and I am completely paralyzed.
"Jake, stop kidding around." I whispered, trembling as he played his fingers across my stomach muscles. "I can't do jokes tonight. It has been too much on me already. Just cause I'm gay doesn't mean you can mess with my feelings like this. It isn't right."
"When are you gonna realize I'm not joking?" He moved so close, his breath was hot against my cheek. I was helpless. Why didn't he just stop and roll back over? Why torture me like this?
"Jake," I whispered urgently. "You are making me really uncomfortable."
"Really," he laughed harshly. "I hadn't noticed."
I closed my eyes and steeled myself. It was now or never. I rubbed the back of my hand down his silky soft cheek and another tear escaped my eye. God I loved him and he was just throwing my gayness back in my face. I couldn't live like this. I needed air. I had to get out. ]I stood up.
"I'm going to sleep in my room." I announced calmly.
He grabbed my wrists turned me around and brought my face to his. "If you do I'll never speak to you again!"
"You're serious aren't you?" I asked, taken aback..
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" He sighed. "I have been serious about this all night."
"Oh shit." I choked out sadly. "I am so fucked. You won't ever drop this."
He stood and our knees touched. I jumped at the electricity surging through me.
"Jake let's go to my room and talk there. It won't be easy but since you won't back off, I will tell you everything."
"Finally."
We moved as quietly as possible to the door. Tommy and Richie's sleeping bags were empty and I said as much to Jake.
"Can we stick to one drama at a time?" he giggled. At least he was still happy. That wouldn't last long.
We made it to my room and I pulled the covers back on my queen size bed. Jake crawled in first. He always did like my side of the bed best. Almost every time he slept over, he somehow managed to get the three of us in my bed. Then he had the audacity to sleep in my spot on my pillow. I gave him and Tommy both hell about it. But I secretly looked forward to it and missed it when his warmth wasn't next to me. I slid in facing him.
"We need to talk."
"I agree." he answered, burrowing his feet under mine to warm up. "All you have to do is tell me who you have the hots for and I'll leave you alone. Tell me and we can get to sleep."
"You know as well as I do that it isn't a case of the `hots'. I'm in love!" I sniffed. "With a straight boy."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!"
"That you are in love with a straight boy?"
"I told you, it's love." another tear rolled down my cheek. "Why can't you understand that?"
"No, doofus."
"What?"
"Are you sure he's straight?"
"Huh?"
"Just tell me who it is." He reiterated and tickled my stomach lightly. "It's getting late and I need to hear you say it."
I couldn't take it anymore. Call me weak, but my resolve crumbled. If he hated me he hated me, I couldn't do this with him any longer. Everyone has a breaking point and I had reached mine. It was going to destroy our friendship, but he had finally won. My dirty little secret was finally going to be out in the open.
"You win..." I choked out in a whisper.
"What? You mean it?" He sounded shocked. "You're actually going to tell me? Finally!"
"It's you, Jake." I whispered, holding in a sob. "It has always been you. I love you!"
I reached over to squeeze him against me for one final hug and he wasn't there...
"Yes!" He hissed, gleefully.
Doing a victory fist pump, he jumped out of bed and flew out the door laughing his head off. Across the hall he threw Tommy's door open, flipped on the lights and yelled triumphantly. "You owe me five bucks, bitch! I knew I could get it out of him tonight and I did. Josh just told me he loves me! Pay up!!!"
Thank you so much for all your comments on the first four chapters. You guys are my inspiration.