Tommy and Jake
My Kid Brother Tommy and His Best Friend Jake
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This is a gay teenage love story. It is also about discovering and overcoming obstacles in life. There are going to be sexual situations depicted but that is not the purpose of the story, If you don't like gay relationships or are legally not allowed to read about them, please refrain from doing so. Do not copy without permission. Please enjoy! nftylvr@yahoo.com
Chapter 6: Shockwaves
I laid in bed stunned, tears streaming down my face. Jake had his big moment and bolted out of my bed and most likely my life. My head could not wrap itself around just how huge a mistake this was. Could I have made a worse decision? Jake's undeniable charm had finally broken down my self-imposed walls of resistance and in a moment of utter weakness I played right into his sick and twisted joke. I had uttered the three little words.
My heart was shattered and I couldn't catch my breath. I just made the biggest mistake of my life and gave Jake the power to make my existence a living hell! When exactly had he and Tommy made it their mission in life to torment me? Was it on the ride home when I innocently admitted I liked someone? Or had they been plotting my defeat for God knows how long?. 'Hey, I know what would be fun, let's get Josh to admit he wants to be your boyfriend then crush his soul.'
Well congratulations guys, it worked. Game over, you win. Ha-ha-ha. Shit!! I wish I was dead. What is the use of living when the guy you love rips your heart out and slowly crushes it? God I was such an idiot! This could not be happening. Especially now when I needed them so much. I'd read all the stories on Nifty where a guy confesses his secret love for his best friend and `BAM!' they were living an idyllic dream in their perfect little gay world. Guess they were just horse crap.
I am so pissed off right now, I could beat the holy living hell out of both of them. As a matter of fact, that is exactly what I am going to do. The parents are gone so I'll just lock us all in Tommy's room and beat them to within an inch of their lives. Assholes! What the fuck were they thinking? God, how could I be so stupid?
My head was pounding again and I was seeing black spots. Please God, don't let me pass out now. I need to dish out some old fashioned justice and I need to do it now! Damn, was that Tommy giggling? That set me off all over again and I almost punched the wall in frustration. Almost, because I'd rather punch Jake and Tommy instead. I have never intentionally hurt either one of them, but tonight would be a great time to rectify that oversight.
Throwing off the sheet, I allowed the rage I was feeling to guide me quietly across the hall so I could spy at Tommy's door. The hall was dark and I hugged the shadows as I listened for more evidence of their betrayal. Tears of righteous indignation flowed down my face as I spied Jake doing a victory dance on the bed across both Tommy and Richie. Great, Richie was somehow in on the joke. Well, just one more ass to be kicked.
I tried to calm down. I needed to calm down or I might not be able to control the damage I extracted on the three celebrating traitors. I tried deep breaths and even a calming mantra, but I could not extinguish the fire of hatred inside my chest. There had to be a logical explanation for all this, right? These guys were my best friends. Or had they just been playing me for years? Shit! Shit! Shit! I focused on the jubilant voices coming from Tommy's room.
"Can you believe it?" Jake was laughing. "Can you believe he actually said he loves me?"
Would he ever stop? I clenched my fists and tried to stifle a sob. The pressure in my head felt like it was ready to explode. I had never experienced pain like this before.
"I told you didn't I?" Tommy giggled. "Do I know my dorky brother or what? I just can't believe it took him this long. It has been so obvious. The way he stares at you all the time...did he believe we were blind?"
I leaned against the wall next to his door for support. Et tu Brutus? Et tu? Could my soul take any more of their betrayal?
"I am so happy for you Jake." That was Richie's voice. Why was he in Tommy's bed anyway? " I know how much you love him."
Huh? The blood froze in my veins. What had he just said? Can we rewind that please? I don't think I heard it right.
"Yeah, bro I'm so glad you finally wormed it out of him." Tommy laughed. "Maybe now you'll be happy like we are. But I swear, if you hurt my brother, I will kick your sorry ass from here to Hell and back."
"How could I ever hurt him? I love him so much!" Jake sighed. "He is the most incredible guy in the whole world. I just wish he believed it. He is so strong on the outside and so fragile on the inside."
A cool wave of relief washed over me and slowly extinguished my rage. My fists unclenched enough to let the blood flow back into my fingers. Jake said he loved me! Did I hear it right? Was it my imagination? I mean I could have imagined it, right? Did he really say it? Shit, I almost fucked everything up! How could I ever have doubted my two best friends?
"Well, what are you waiting for Jake?" Tommy laughed. "He is in there and you are in here...anything wrong with this picture?"
"Oh crap!" Jake squeaked. "He's probably wondering where I disappeared to. Bye and thanks guys."
I raced across the hall and leapt back into bed like a Tennessee bride after a shotgun wedding. I settled under the sheet to wait for Jake's return. I began rubbing my temples to ease the pressure in my head. I thought my earlier happy thoughts would erase the headache I felt, but crap, if anything it was worse.
I heard Jake come back in, turn out the light and whisper, "Hey, you're in my spot..."
I felt a familiar weight on my chest, Jake had one arm slung across my waist and was using me as his pillow. He was wearing only his boxers and his warm smooth skin was causing no end of turmoil in my mind and body.
"You've been gone so long I figured you weren't coming back." I pouted, trying to hide my smile. If I died now, my life would be complete, Jake loves me!
"Are you kidding?" He snuggled closer squeezing me tightly as he rested on my bare chest. "You won't get rid of me that easy. I am yours forever. You don't know how happy you have made me."
His finger traces the edge of my nipple and I tremble at the feelings he evokes in me. He raises up to look me in the eye. The love on his face is obvious. It is the same look he has always had, I just understand it now.
"Just so you know, I love you too, Josh. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. When me and Tommy were in first grade I told him I would marry his big brother one day. I was just too chicken to ever let you know." He sighed. "Even after you told your family you were gay I kept quiet because I never wanted to lose you. I couldn't imagine the man of my dreams would ever love me."
Another tear threatened to escape my eye as I hugged Jake to me until he scrambled up and layed completely on top of me. Hot bolts of lightning shot through my body. Incredible! It was all happening so fast. My dreams were coming true. Jake Clayton was actually in bed with me. Mr. Nobody is in bed with one of the popular guys in school.
"Jake," I whispered, brushing the hair out of his hypnotic green eyes. "You were the reason I came out to begin with. I knew I had fallen in love with you and I needed to let everyone know I was gay. I just didn't tell anyone which guy I liked."
Jake nuzzled my neck, kissing just behind my ear and then nibbled my earlobe. I shivered and goose bumps jumped up all over my body. I couldn't believe this was happening! He raised his head and I lost myself in his incredible beauty. The world slowed down around me like I was in deep meditation. Jake's full tender lips were inches from mine and in what felt like the only possible move my body could make, I wrapped one arm around his waist while the other lost itself in his hair. Oh my God! It was going to happen! I was going to get to kiss Jake Clayton! Slowly I lifted my face toward his and our lips touched...
I always fantasized I would see fireworks the first time I kissed Jake...but this was so much more. I felt like my whole body was on fire the moment our lips touched and when he parted his lips and sighed into my mouth, oh my fucking god, I felt my heart stop and then pound like a jackhammer.
I moaned into his mouth as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled us closer, his tongue tentatively explored my lips and my teeth. Then it found my tongue and I knew that Jake would always be mine. His taste and smell were the most erotic and tantalizing feast my senses had ever experienced.
We kissed for what felt like an eternity and our tongues darted back and forth between our mouths dueling in the most sensual way imaginable. Jake's erection was grinding to the rhythm of our love against my quiet crotch. God, what was happening? I had never experienced such bliss. Wait, did I just describe my crotch as quiet? What The Hell?!
I reluctantly broke our kiss. Tears of pure joy were running down our cheeks. Jake sighed and smiled, leaned in for another kiss and...
"Wait!" I whispered in shock.
He jerked in surprise and exclaimed, "What? Did I do something wrong?"
"No! I did!" I hissed as I rolled him off me and grabbed my soft cock through my boxers. "Jake, what is wrong with me? You are hard as a rock and I'm still soft. Is my dick broken? Why is it so hard for me to get an erection?"
"What do you mean?" He puts his hand on mine, the one still holding my broken cock.
"I just realized I hardly ever get a hard on." I rest my head against his smooth, firm chest. "I'm sixteen years old, it's supposed to be hard practically all the time. What is wrong with me?"
By this point I was trembling once again and about to lose it. I was an emotional disaster tonight. Looking back on it all, I hadn't really paid any attention to the fact that I rarely had an erection. Sure, I had jerked off a few times, but it took ages for me to come. Is that normal? Looking at Jake's boxers, his throbbing hard on stretched the blue cotton fabric to its limit. Mine, nothing.
"Josh," Jake answered quietly, stroking my hair slowly and reassuringly. "Nothing is wrong with you. It's a side effect of your medication. You can get hard, but it is really difficult. It doesn't matter, I'm not in love with just your dick. I am in love with all of you."
"What the hell?" I whispered more to myself than Jake. "What kind of messed up drugs am I taking anyway? Nobody tells me what my pills are for, just to take them. And how come everyone else seems to know what is going on with me and I am totally in the dark?"
Jake is quiet for a moment and his face expresses his sadness. "I promise to tell you all about it, but could we talk about it in the morning? I am really tired and we need to sleep."
"Seriously? You want me to just forget about it and go to sleep? That's your answer?" I slammed myself on the bed like a spoiled child about to have a tantrum.
He yawned, rolled me on my back and used my chest for a pillow again. I yawned in response and sleep suddenly did sound like a good idea. This night had worn me out. What is this magical spell of relaxation Jake suddenly seems to have me under?
"I promise we will talk about it tomorrow. Trust me okay?"
"Well.."
"Please?"
I nodded and had just wrapped my arms around my favorite sleeping buddy, when I jerked wide awake. It must have scared Jake cause he jerked and stiffened too.
"What's wrong, Joshie?"
"I just remembered, Richie is in Tommy's bed." I gasped. "Why is Richie in Tommy's bed? Why are they sleeping together?"
"Because they are boyfriends, you idiot." Josh laughed, stifling a yawn and kissing my chest. "Why else?"
"Wait...Tommy is gay too?" I shook my head in confusion. "And no one told me? Is everybody gay? How long have they been together?"
"Almost six months."
"Six months? How could I not know?"
"Well, not to be mean but you can be really dense about some things and you do miss a lot." Jake raised his head and my chest felt lonely. "I mean come on, you were convinced I was straight even though I was always flirting with you. I almost had to rape you tonight to convince you it was safe to tell me you loved me."
"Yeah, but I finally did tell you, right?" I smiled and hugged him.
"Just like you finally realized you weren't the only gay boy in this family?" Jake giggled and squeezed my ass playfully.
I squirmed in pleasure and asked. "Do Mom and Dad know?"
"I think they may have talked about it." Jake replied a little hesitantly.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"You've had so much to process, they probably thought it would be best to not make a big deal out of it."
"So much to process?" I asked perplexed. "I didn't have anything more to process than anyone else. I mean yeah, my martial arts take up a lot of my time but you guys are just as busy with track and gymnastics."
"Why don't we talk about this tomorrow too, Joshie. I'm sleepy and you are such a comfortable pillow." He grumbled cutely.
"Okay Jakey, go to sleep. I love you." I kissed the top of his head, filling my lungs with his scent.
"Mmm, love you too." He snuggled in closer. His warmth calming and relaxing me.
"Wait!" I hissed out suddenly.
"What!? Are you okay?" Jake asked, terrified.
"Sorry, I just had one more question." I giggled. "Didn't mean to startle you again."
"It's okay, what?"
"What about your parents, do they know about you...and you and me?"
He sighed. "We are really not going to sleep are we?"
"It's just one little question." I squeaked.
"Yeah, but not such a little answer. It is really complicated."
"Can you maybe un-complicate it for me?"
"Of course I can, but you're not gonna like it. I know `cause I hated it. And if I tell you, you have to promise you'll listen with an open mind and no interruptions."
"Okay, I promise." I was hooked, what could have been so bad that Jakey hated it?
"Well about seven months ago Tommy was spending the night at my place..."
"I always hated it when he spent he night with you, `cause it meant I couldn't see you." I pouted, teasing him.
"Yeah, I felt the same way...anyway like I said Tommy was spending the night...
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"Hey Jake, let's play a game." Tommy suggested playfully. "Let's play truth or dare."
"Tommy every time we play that game, one of us gets hurts cause neither of is willing to take a truth, and our dares are just stupid."
"Yeah, you're right but tonight the rule is no dares, only truths."
"Okay, but I promise you you're gonna wish you could do a dare." Jake teased. "Cause my questions will kick your question's asses."
"Okay, you go first." Tommy offered.
"Oh, hell no!" Jake laughed. "I gotta see how serious these questions are."
"Okay. I'll go first. Here goes." He paused. "Does it bug you that Josh is gay?"
"How can you even ask me that? I love Joshie, he's like the coolest guy ever. Why would I care if he happens to be gay? That's not my question by the way."
"I was just curious we haven't talked about it since, well, you know." Tommy fell silent for a minute and Jake hugged him.
"Yeah Tommy. I know buddy, that day almost killed me too. And all those months after..." They both sat quietly hugging each others shoulders, reflecting.
"Okay, your turn." Tommy prompted, finally breaking the silence.
"Well after your question, I guess we are being serious today. So, what about you, how do you feel about Josh or anybody else being gay?"
"I feel like I am lucky to still have Josh as a brother. I love him so much. I hope I can be as good for him as he is for me. He inspires me every single day. He proves that anybody can accomplish whatever they put their mind to. As far as him being gay, I don't think anyone has a choice about being gay. They just are. I think it's our job to help other people know that."
"Who are you and what have done with Tommy Hayes?" Jake laughed, looking all around his bedroom.
"Hey, you asked."
"Yeah but who knew you could be so deep or so honest."
"I told you I wanted this to be a serious game." Tommy added solemnly.
"Okay, I'll be serious," Jake smiled. "Your question."
"Jake, you said something to me in first grade that I've never forgotten." Tommy fidgeted a little. "Do you still think you want to marry my brother?"
"I can't believe you remember that." Jake covered his face in embarrassment and blushed. "Do you really expect me to answer that, you ass?"
"Yeah, Jake, I do." Tommy replied soberly. "it's important, plus no dares, remember?"
"Well, you're my best friend, so I'm going to answer honestly and you will just have to live with it, okay?"
"Just answer the question and quit stalling."
"Okay, seriously." Jake sighed and hung his head. "If he would have me, I would marry him so fast it would make your head spin. Have you even met him? He is so amazing and so sexy. He blows me away."
Tommy sat across from his best friend with his mouth hanging open. Jake realized what he had just done and quipped...
"Sorry buddy, your best friend is gay. My question! Why was it so important anyway?"
"Well, I hate to break it to you but your best friend is gay too..." Tommy grinned shyly. "I just had to find a way to tell you so I thought of the game."
"You shit!" Jake laughed, tackling Tommy and pinning him. "So you made me come out to you first?"
"Yeah, I guess I did." Tommy admitted and Jake released him. "You know I'm pretty sure Josh feels the same way about you. You should probably tell him."
"I guess, but I am scared how it might affect him after... you know..." He paused and sighed. "So who do you like Mr. Romeo?"
"Well, there are two guys in our grade I really think are hot."
"Who, who?"
"Richie Brewster and Nick Adams." Tommy sighed. "But I like Richie the best. Especially after what happened to him. He has been through so much, Just like Jake. And he has had to put up with so much shit ever since."
"Yeah," Jake smiled. "Richie is really nice. I think you'd be good for him--Wait! Did you hear that? Sounds like my Mom is crying."
They raced to the next room and found Jake's mom clutching a photo to her chest and sobbing, "Not my baby, too." Over and over. Both boys ran over and hugged her. Jake sobbed out how sorry he was that he was gay. So did Tommy.
Mrs. Clayton hugged them back and said she wasn't crying because they were gay, but because she was afraid for them. It could be so dangerous being gay. She said she was a little surprised they were gay, but not angry or upset. She got up and immediately called Tommy's mom and dad to come over for a family meeting.
A few minutes later they were all in the Clayton's family room. Everyone except Josh.
"Hey, shouldn't Josh be here?" Jake asked.
"This isn't about Josh." Tommy's dad said softly but firmly. "This is about you boys."
"All right," Jake's mom started."As you know, I overheard Jake and Tommy come out to each other a few minutes ago and we need to discuss everything."
"Boys," Tommy's mom added. "We want you to understand that we love and support both of you. Just like we do Josh. But we are also concerned. We know how close you both are and we don't want to have to separate you two or affect the bond you share, but we feel you are a little young to be in a sexual relationship with each other."
"With each other?" Jake and Tommy exclaimed almost simultaneously. "Where'd you get that idea?"
"Well, your mom heard you guys talking about you both being gay..."
"Yeah," Jake answered."but not liking each other that way. Tommy likes Richie Brewster and I like Josh."
Tommy added, "You thought me and Jake...eeewww! We are practically brothers. That wouldn't be right!"
The adults laughed at Tommy's description and were relieved they didn't have to try and chaperone the two childhood friends.
"But that brings up another problem." Tommy's mom sighed. "What to do about Josh and Jake."
The adults talked among themselves while Jake and Tommy fidgeted nervously. They felt like it was no one's business but their own what they did and who they did it with, but they were also raised to respect their parents wishes.
Finally Jake couldn't stand being left out of the discussion any longer and interrupted. " I don't see the problem. I'm not sure Josh even thinks of me that way. I just need to let him know how I feel and see if he feels the same. If he doesn't then I'll bow out and..."
"Don't be a drama queen, Jake." Mrs. Clayton laughed. "Why don't you boys go upstairs and we'll sort this all out and talk again in the morning."
The adults discussed everything for another half hour before Mrs. Clayton came up to say goodnight.
"Boys we have come up with a suggestion on what to do about Jake and Josh. It's going to be difficult to accept at first, Jake, but I think you will understand. Because of how fragile Josh still is, we think you should not make the first move. In fact we don't even want you boys to let him know you're gay. Can you do that?"
"But mom..."
"Jake we think it is best for Josh that he to be the one that decides who he wants to be with. You don't want him to fall apart do you? ...I didn't think so. You're all so young, crushes and flings don't last and you'll have a new flavor of the week..."
Tommy spoke up. "Jake's been in love with Joshie since first grade. I don't think this is a crush."
"Oh, Jakey, I didn't realize...I'm sorry." She hugged him for a few seconds. "But you have to let Josh grow into this. You must allow him to tell you he loves you before you tell him...Tommy, I am holding you responsible for Jake's behavior... Please boys, think of all Josh has suffered through. We can't make it worse by forcing him into a situation that may freak him out."
Both boys said they would live with the guidelines. But each knew there must be a way to bend the rules just a little in Jake's favor. If there was a way, they would find it.
Mrs. Clayton sighed and continued. "The good news is we all know Josh is gay because he came out years ago. That's your ace in the hole, Jake. His mom and I have long suspected he has a thing for you. You just need to let him work it all out for himself. Jake, just don't be too disappointed if it takes awhile, if it ever happens at all."
"Thanks Mom." They hugged good night and Tommy held Jake all night long to comfort him. They would work it all out. They just had to.
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"And that's why we had to keep it all a secret." Jake sighed. "We had no choice."
"So it was a major family conspiracy." I groaned, the frustration rising in my chest. "I just don't get it. Why doesn't anyone trust me to make my own decisions? There is nothing wrong with me."
I started trembling from the frustration. No one ever wanted me to make my own decisions. Everything was always decided for me. Evidently they all knew better than I did what was best for me. Jake just hugged me tightly as I stewed on everything.
"You're right, Joshie, there is nothing wrong with you. Now, I'm tired, hold me like you always do so I can get some sleep."
The frustration began to ease out of my being as I spooned my body around Jake's shirtless form. Jake pushed himself even closer than usual and our bodies touched from head to toe. We both sighed simultaneously and fell asleep within moments of each other. Just like always.
Thank you so much for all your comments on the first five chapters. You guys are my inspiration.