Warning: This story is for 18 year olds or older and contains descriptions of sexual contact between teenage males. If it is illegal for you to read, or you find the subject objectionable, read no further. All characters are imaginary. I hope you like it. Mail me or visit Eliot's Space



Chapter 11, In and out of the Closet

Balcony conversation, Friday, August 20th

"I can't believe you are saying you like this ass-hole Arlo. I just don't know what to say."

"Please don't be jealous."

"What?" The reply confused Daniel and he simply stared at his friend. Daniel could not relate to the comment and decided to ignore it. "The bastard hurt you."

"Well" Arlo was flustered "You said your senior beat you the first time." His voice became more confident "In fact he has done it more than once. Am I right?" It was a point.

"Well it's not for real." It was Daniel's turn to feel defensive. "He slapped my ass a little" Okay that did sound kind of bad when you thought about it. Daniel realized he had even been treating it like a joke between them. Still Daniel had seen the blood from this boy's assault on Arlo's body. "Arlo, jeez, it's not the same. This guy..." Daniel choked for a moment.

"His name is Donald." There was an enthusiasm in his voice that echoed Daniel's own when he spoke of Denver. The similarity made Daniel cringe.

"Donald... he like raped you man." Daniel had slowly come to terms with the idea of it. Looking at his friend it was hard for Daniel to say the word. Arlo shook his head vigorously.

"No Dan, Donald explained that to me. He said that was just because I was a virgin. He said girls do too."

"Do what?"

"He said girls bleed the first time and it's supposed to hurt."

"It does?" Daniel was not sure. Maybe it was true; really, how would he know?

"Yes, Donald said they always do. Donald was really sorry about that. He has been really cool to me. He wants to make up for that."

"Make up for it? For like... doing that... against the car?" Daniel had imagined it many times.

"Donald isn't really like that. He said he thought I was hot and couldn't control himself. He has been really nice to me." Arlo blushed. Arlo liked it. It dawned on Daniel that Arlo was as fascinated by the attention of the older boys as he was. Arlo played with his drink and looked away toward the familiar cluster of buildings that framed the view of the street below. There was something unspoken between them here. Daniel took a sip of his own drink and thought about the last few hours they had just spent with Mandy and Simon. The comfortable circle of their lives had been broken now. So much tension between the four of them; Mandy and Arlo confused by Simon's presence and Simon at his most belligerent, hating being the outsider. Daniel had exhausted himself trying to bridge the gap. Finally Arlo resumed speaking. "You know the time Marsh and Gordon got jumped after the movie?"

"Yeh," Simon had defended him in the parking lot. The heart-pounding steeple-chase through the unfamiliar neighborhood with its adrenalin-rush of danger had made them a team. Daniel and Simon had become friends that night.

"Donald was there in the car. He recognized me in the theatre and wanted to see me again." When the football player Duncan had talked to Daniel in the parking lot he had said it was Daniel who had been recognized. Daniel wondered if it really mattered to the boys in the red Mustang. Daniel caught Arlo staring at him. "Do you mind?"

Daniel was once again unsure of Arlo's meaning. For a moment he thought Arlo was asking if Daniel minded this Donald character's interest in Arlo, then it came to him his friend might be asking him if he was jealous. Daniel closed his eyes for a moment hoping to escape that question. Was it just the same he wondered? Denver puts him across his lap and strikes his ass, and then the very next time Daniel sees the tall senior they both get naked in his back yard like buddies. It had never felt like he was getting attacked by Denver. Troy's belt striking his skin in the furnace room, Arlo frightened sick that this high school student had damaged him, the punch that had sent Gordon back to the bottom of the car trunk on the quiet suburban street: the brutality of it sickened him. Perhaps he did not really understand. "I guess if you like him" Daniel finally replied heavily.

"Do you think about it?" Daniel studied his hands. Arlo had been his best friend for years. They shared secrets. "Come on Danny, give over." The noise of traffic filled the silence between them. "I've done it again. What do you think?" Evan by the falls, asking Daniel what he thought; you trust your best friend. Best friends don't let each other down.

Daniel replied carefully. "I have been thinking about it." But not with Arlo, and Daniel was reluctant to share his attraction to Denver after harassing Arlo about Donald. No damn it, it couldn't be the same! He paused again and then opened up a little more. "The kissing, you know?" Arlo giggled in a way Daniel had not heard since they were little. Daniel smiled to hide his embarrassment and drew his feet up onto the chair before he continued. Daniel thought of the nights last year when the gatherings were winding down and the boys got silly and started to gross out the girls and each other by pretending to be pansies. "It is like the jokes we used to share isn't it? Except I guess we are not really joking anymore. Man, the sex Arlo." Daniel had stepped across a line in June and it was like night and day. "I've never touched a guy's dick since we goofed around though." But you think about it a whispered voice drenched in sunlight accused him. Daniel eyed Arlo tempted by his friend's obvious availability. Arlo encouraged him to continue. There was not much to more he would want to say. The rest was Denver and simply noticing the way other boys looked in a way he had never done before. The feelings plagued Daniel.

"Do you look at guys?" Arlo had read his thoughts. Daniel shrugged back with an ambiguous grimace on his lips. That question would lead to the next. "Have you thought about real sex ?" This was going too far and Daniel needed more distance.

"Can I tell you a secret Arlo?" Arlo nodded "I mean you have to keep it to yourself." Arlo assured him he could be trusted. This was an afternoon for honesty between them and Arlo respected that. "I have a bone for Mandy." Arlo began laughing.

"Really? This is your big secret?" Daniel smiled back shyly. He had not thought he was that obvious. "Sorry Danny, I knew that. I think even Greg figured that out." Arlo thought Greg was all about himself. Arlo shook his head "So you want to hook up with her?" Daniel nodded. This was better. It was easier talking to Arlo about Mandy. It was safer. Daniel cherished his dreams about Mandy. These dreams were solid and kept him normal. Arlo sighed and met Daniel's eyes again. "Do you mind?" he repeated. The momentum of their conversation was too great and Arlo was not going to be deflected from his course.

"At camp, one morning, I caught these two guys making out together."

"No shit." Arlo was awed.

"Yes shit. Anyway..."


"Well not, actually one guy gave the other a blow job. They didn't kiss. "

"In the woods?" It suddenly sounded romantic to Arlo.

"Ah no, next to me in the tent."

"Daniel what do you guys do on these camp-outs?"

"They're not camp-outs... what I wanted to say was, its okay."

"What's okay?" Arlo studied him carefully.

"We're cool Arlo. I guess with us being freshies we both are going to do things. If you like it, I'm okay with that." This was Arlo, and Daniel could say that to him. Daniel felt better and stronger having told Arlo this. Daniel realized that maybe by telling Arlo it was okay to be a little gay with Donald, he was telling himself it was okay to explore boys a little himself. Not that he needed a boyfriend or something gay like that, but maybe he did not have to feel so guilty when the seniors pushed him into doing something with another ninth grader. Maybe he did not have to feel so uncomfortable when he caught himself bumping into an interesting boy on the street. Maybe it was not so terrible to feel good when Denver looked at him the way Denver usually looked at Mark. Denver and Mark, the new idea in his life; he mostly accepted them as a couple; it should not be that difficult to accept that Arlo might be gay.

"Do you want to...?"

"No dude." Not with Arlo. Arlo made him uncomfortable now. The exciting world of attractive and unattractive girls had become enticingly complicated by the unexpected appearance of attractive and unattractive boys. I choose you... Daniel still did not understand what his body was responding to. It left him very anxious.

Arlo shrugged. "Let's pretend for a minute."

"About what?"

"If you liked guys..."

"Get real"

"Come on, humor me. What kind of guy would you be attracted to?" Arlo knew Daniel's mind too well. Daniel had to think his way through this mine field. He studied Arlo beside him; taller, bigger, older and better developed. He had a scattering of light pimples on his cheek today. Arlo always had a slight wave in his thick black hair. Dark brown eyes hooded by a virtual unibrow. He might be thought ruggedly handsome. Why did Daniel not really find him attractive? He might appeal to this older Donald.

"There should be something in this ginger ale if you are going to expect me to talk like this." Arlo smiled, but he would not give way. "Truth or dare; okay my dream guy." Daniel offered that with the familiar lisp from their Homo games together but when he continued he was serious. Daniel might have described Denver . The seventeen-year-old fascinated him, but it could not be Denver with Arlo. "Not a big guy like you. Someone smaller, more my size I guess."

"Sure, Simon Marks right?"

"I said my size dude, bigger than him." Daniel had to laugh. "Long hair is okay though."

"Jesus Daniel you are just describing Mandy aren't you?" Arlo shook his head in mock disgust. "I said if you liked guys ."

"Hey, guys can have long hair."

"Oh Daniel, you kill me, a blond-haired guy with tits named Andy ."

"Cut it out, maybe the hair is dark. Anyway, I don't think I would like a guy with hair as long as Mandy's. Say down to his shoulders, slight wave and pushed back off his forehead. Nice white teeth." Daniel smiled at Arlo pleased with his un-Arlo-like description, then he frowned slightly; where had that come from anyway?

"Right, now you are describing Amber Klein. You're hopeless Daniel." Okay, he must be thinking about Amber. Better Arlo think he never thought about guys at all. At least Arlo did not think Daniel was attracted to him. Still Arlo's teasing him about avoiding the question bothered him for some reason. He had been trying to be honest for once and Arlo was not taking him seriously. "A guy that looks like a girl," Arlo taunted Daniel.

"Okay, shut up and listen." Arlo stopped snickering and leaned back in his chair. Daniel was exasperated at him now, but he also felt good. It had been too long since they had talked like this with each other. The afternoon sex between them had taken a bite out of their friendship. This was a small respite from that, "A guy, okay? No fat," Arlo nodded agreement, "Athletic maybe, strong grip, but, just a normal guy like me." A smile and bright eyes, clear face, strong voice, nothing girly or sensitive about him. Strong and confident like Denver . It was there in his head, but Daniel really did not have the words to explain. These were new feelings for Daniel.

"Someone you can play games with like Greg, right?" Arlo turned back to the city spread out before them. "I think you are hopeless Danny. So what are you going to do about Mandy?" Daniel stopped trying to puzzle out his feelings and considered the question.

"What can I do man? We've always been friends." You step over a line with your friends and its over. Daniel looked at Arlo knowing he would rather be sitting with Simon or Denver now. Telling Mandy how he felt about her was too scary for Daniel. He had felt like such an idiot at Colin's party. Ladies man my ass, Daniel scolded himself. Daniel had no concept.

"Do you want me to sound it out for you?"

"No fucking way!" It was strong language coming from Daniel.

"You know she likes you."

"Yes but I don't think she likes, likes me."

Arlo shifted in his seat and pulled his shorts down. He weighed Daniel in his mind and decided to give up. Daniel's description stuck in his mind though. "You are all about the girls Danny. Are you going to see her this weekend?"

"I don't know, maybe. Her brother is down this weekend. There's some family stuff going on." That was a whole different world to Daniel: family stuff. Family stuff at the Murrell's meant watching a movie with his mother or taking one of their seasonal holidays. Somewhere out there over the balcony and across the city his father lived with another woman. Daniel wondered if he had a little brother or sister. He probably did. Daniel could guess his shadowy father had not kept his dick in his pants. The man clearly did not know about condoms, maybe somewhere there was another boy or two wondering where their dead-beat of a dad was. He thought of the last time he had snuck into the down-town office building to catch a glimpse of the man. His father the accountant with his fancy office and gold-framed pictures lined up along the desk, maybe a couple of extra frames with big question marks in them for Daniel and the others.

"Well what do you think Danny?" Daniel realized he had zoned out. He focused on Arlo and shook his head in confusion. "Do you want to go to a party with Donald and me tonight?" That did not sound like fun at all. Anyway, it was an easy question to answer.

"Denver wants me to go to a party on Saturday. Get connected with some more of his friends." He did not have to explain what that meant to Arlo. Daniel's mother was pretty good about letting him go out; cooler than most parents by far, but once a weekend was all he got. Daniel had already been told the partying would grind to a halt in September.

"We don't seem to connect much do we?"

"Well its not elementary school is it? Riverview is the big time and I guess it should not surprise us we don't connect." Daniel was relieved they did not connect. He was not anxious to find himself at a party with Arlo's older friends. Arlo made each party he went to sound like that first freshie party in the warehouse. The seniors would make him do things with Arlo.

Solo, Saturday, August 21st

Laine stood at the sink and looked out over the back yard and past the fence to where people moved near the Boisson's back door. It was mostly older people out for a smoke, but he saw boys and girls his age. He wondered if Greg and Chris had gone to the party. Noelle had invited him. That was cool. Laine appreciated that very much. His parents had stepped on that quickly. His mother did not think much of Noelle's mother leaving her alone for the weekend while she left town with her current boyfriend. Laine had been served up a sizzling lump of dire threats that made it very clear the Bryan house would be free of parties until Nick was twenty-one. It had been a predictable side-dish with his meatloaf; about as welcome as the frozen mixed vegetables. Naturally if Laine could not expect his own house party before he moved out, he would not be allowed to attend the neighbor's party either. His parents would have to be consistent, no welcome hypocrisy to ease his boring life. Laine could almost hear the laughter drifting around the other yard. The milk tasted a little sour in his mouth.

His mom would have known to leave things well enough alone; his dad wandered through and noticed him leaning against the counter. "Stop sulking Laine. You're only fourteen. You will have years to party later." Laine refused to respond. He had not even bothered to argue with them earlier even though he had his arguments all lined up. He would have promised to stay sober. It was just over the back fence for heaven's sake. Laine might have settled for shorter curfew even. The retorts swirled in Laine's head as he turned back to look at his father.

"Sure dad," his father was okay, "I know," but it was not fair. Life was passing him by and if he went to the parties he might meet someone. He was certainly not going to meet anyone at Mass. His father left him in peace. Well, to give his parents their due, they did not party either. Laine turned back to put the empty glass beside the sink. The early evening light blessed the young people partying across the rugged fence and illuminated the tree fort high in the old Walnut.

Shooters, Saturday, August 21st

Bumping, grinding, and freak dancing

The contemporary lexicon of dirty dancing includes such terms as freaking, slamming, moshing, spanking, humping, bumping, undressing, grinding, and so on. Dancing fascinates cultural anthropologists because it seems that dancing is an almost universal expression of love without actually lovemaking. But for high school and college students, dancing has become nothing short of group sex.

Daniel wasn't really prepared to go to a house party with Denver and Mark. He had slept badly and woke up depressed from one of his troubling dreams of Denver. Sitting in the back seat of the Echo he clasped his hands tightly together and watched Mark as he responded to Denver's conversation. His senior kept trying to draw him out and despite his attempts to respond to Denver's enthusiasm he found it an effort.

"I've known Noelle Boisson since ninth grade. You'll like her."

"Hmm" Daniel watched Mark's face as it moved between following the road and studying Denver. He had tried to rationalize yesyetday's conversation with Arlo. He wasn't turning gay and Arlo was probably not gay either. The dreams about Arlo and Denver were not important.

Daniel's face seemed drawn and sober. When they made eye contact in the mirror the kid quickly shifted his gaze. It reminded Denver of driving to the disastrous second freshie party. He tried to reassure Daniel. "Hey, don't worry, things will be cool. You've met a lot of the people there already." Still, Denver knew it wouldn't be the same as one of his gatherings. Daniel knew it too. When he came over to Denver's house he could relax. He would settle in quickly and opened up. He still always felt a bit of an outsider. Most of the people who turned up at Denver's were a few years older than him and he sometimes felt they simply tolerated him for Denver's sake. Even so, he was there as Denver's friend, not his Freshie and they left him alone. The other parties were different. Every time they went out Daniel had to put up with a certain amount of hazing. He watched Mark and Denver silently.

"I think its time to get the little dude wrecked." Mark shifted around and smiled at Daniel. "Don't you think its time to cut loose man? I haven't seen you ripped since after the freshie party. You don't have to look so serious. If you relaxed a little maybe the seniors would lighten up." Mark poked Denver's shoulder. "Think about it Denver, I'll bet that if you hadn't raised shit every time Daniel got hazed everyone would have backed off."

"What would you know about it?" There was an edge in his voice and Mark responded in kind.

"You didn't corner the market on suffering. Us fags were the bottom of the shit pile in grade nine. If it comes to that I still take all kinds of shit. You won't come all the way out so only dicks who know you well like that Nazi Troy give you a hard time. You won't even be totally honest about us with your friends. Everyone knows we are partners, fuck Denver, it's been over nine months..."

"Not that long"

"... Don't start with me, and you won't even touch me in public. Honesty; you're so full of shit and it hurts." Denver pulled to a stop and the three friends sat silently watching the flow of traffic. Daniel looked at Denver and Mark uncertainly. He sympathized with Denver. He accepted Denver's relationship with Mark, but he was glad his senior didn't embarrass him with it. Who wouldn't want to hide it?

"Besides, you make things worse on the kid here by stopping strangers on the streets or by throwing a fit every time someone hazes him. People do it just to yank your chain now. Back off tonight, things will be fine."

Denver started through the intersection. Mark was probably right; he shouldn't hover over Daniel all the time. Daniel would be on his own soon and he would need to be able to handle things by himself. He spared a moment to look at his simmering lover. Mark needed his attention too. "Noelle Boisson's," Denver made contact with Daniel in the mirror before checking the traffic,"It's eight months since she had a party, hey Mark?"


"Almost" Daniel listened to the older boys chat and thought about Mark's comments. He worried that Mark might be right. He had never gotten into teasing the rookies or initiating the new campers; he thought all that stuff made it hard getting along with the new guys afterward. It had been more fun taking Evan through his first white water than it had been watching the other experienced campers in his cabin smear the new boys with slime and corruption before watching them run naked down to the frigid lake. In Daniel's mind sharing the first rapids had been the real initiation. Still, for all that Daniel never backed down when the veterans initiated him. Daniel liked to fit into the group and the initiations were part of it. Denver wanted him to duck being a freshie. Daniel knew if he was going to be a high school student he had to be a freshie just like everyone else had been. Mark was right; he needed to handle things by himself.

Daniel realized the party was close to where Simon and Greg lived. In fact if he walked two blocks east he would in Greg's front yard. He hadn't been there since a week before Greg dumped Mandy. Simon lived somewhere in the area. Daniel wasn't sure. Simon had not invited him over yet. There were still sensitive spots in their growing friendship. Money was definitely high on the list. Daniel glanced at the small houses crowded along the street. It looked pretty much like Mandy's neighborhood to him. He knew they had reached the party when Denver cruised past an old stucco house with a people sitting on the lawn. He twisted around to watch the people as Mark and Denver broke into an argument about where to park the Echo. Denver settled the argument by accelerating into the next block. Daniel let Denver and Mark lead him back through the failing light. He watched the lovers bump against each other playfully as they walked, their squabble in the car apparently behind them.

Daniel hesitated when he stepped through the door. Parties in grade eight were a little lame; after all, they rarely got close to alcohol and he had traveled in a pack with his usual posse. He never knew what to expect now. It was an older house that again reminded him of the Cole's place. The small living room was fairly crowded. Daniel followed Denver and Mark past a circle of girls playing caps on the floor. The house had the comforting feel of a home abandoned by parents. Daniel was slowly getting used to that feeling.

"Daniel!" he heard Chow's familiar voice and turned toward the corner where his classmate and a pair of guys about his age were trying to share an over sized chair. Chow perched on one arm of the chair holding an empty bottle of beer. He gave Daniel a broad grin. Daniel grinned back and shoved his hands into his pockets and then glanced over his shoulder. He realized he had lost Denver and Mark before he had a chance to snag a drink. "This is Antonio." Chow waved his empty bottle at a boy slouched in the chair and then shifted to a thin red head hanging off the other arm. "Cole" Daniel nodded a greeting. "These guys went to Im'a Walrous." Emma Wallace Elementary was close enough to 7th Avenuel for them to be arch rivals. It was all history now that they would be freshman at Riverview High. Daniel thought Cole looked a little familiar.


"Yeh, I think I've seen you too." Daniel noticed the boys all had tattoos on their faces. He collapsed on the floor next to them and folded his legs.

"Anyone else here?" He twisted around to take in the noisy crowd.

"Terrance, Marsh" Chow replied.


"Down stairs I guess. There's a shit load of people here." Chow reached down beside the chair and pulled up a fresh beer. He took a swig and offered it to Daniel as an after thought. Daniel took a polite pull and returned it to him. He needed to find Denver and grab a drink of his own. "How are things with your senior?"

"They're cool."

"Mallory is cool too. She's really laid back about the freshie shit too" volunteered Antonio.

"She made you swim in the nude man." Cole nudged the other boy.

"She just wanted to see how well I was hung." He leered at Daniel and Chow. "Did you make the river party?" Daniel admitted he had missed it. "Mallory wouldn't take me to the warehouse. Cole went; didn't you?" He glanced at his friend.

"I don't want to talk about that. It was a fucking circus." Cole's discomfort was obvious and Daniel sympathized.

"Have a good summer?" Chow shifted the topic away from the nightmare of that June night.

"Yeh, pretty good; went to the mountains, hung out at the pool; you know, chilled out. It could have been longer." Going to summer camp didn't sound very impressive to Daniel so he skipped that part "any of the girls here? Say Chow have you seen Riana?"

"Who's Riana? Amber's here; I saw her come in with her senior a while ago." Daniel perked up at the thought. The three boys shifted the conversation to the girls at the party. They compared notes on the possibilities in September.

Daniel was laughing at Antonio's macho brag that he was going to lay his senior, "Man, the times I've heard that line," when he was pushed off balance by a foot to the shoulder.

"Look the faggot cut his girly locks and did his hair. Do blonds really have more fun?" Daniel found himself on his side looking back up at two ninth graders. It flashed through his mind that someone recognized him from the freshie party.

"Oh, shit man, I'm sorry. We thought you were someone else!" The boys looked at each other and Daniel could see their confusion.

"This is Daniel you prick, he's no faggot." Chow wasn't an aggressive guy, but Daniel was glad he spoke up.

"No, really, we didn't mean to hassle you. Look, I'm sorry. Hey, I'm Troy, this is Abdullah, but you can call him Fez." Troy looked helplessly at Daniel and the three boys on the chair. "No hard feelings?" He added hopefully.

"Pull up a piece of floor and join us." Daniel was over his scare and he wasn't looking for a fight. Troy and Fez dropped down beside him. Daniel thought about the crack about faggots and hoped Denver and Mark wouldn't draw attention to themselves. He felt a twinge of guilt. He remembered he was trying to be cool about the older boy's relationship. It seemed easier to take when he was at Denver's house. He realized he should defend his friends. "Lay off the homophobia, okay?" he tried tentatively. Troy shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care, but Daniel noticed the speculative look he cast in his direction. He cursed himself for raising the suspicion, and then realized he felt better anyway. Antonio got Fez and Troy up to speed on the conversation and the moment was forgotten. Daniel impressed the boys a few minutes later when Amber and Amanda wandered through the room, stopped for a kiss and then warned him they expected him to dance with them later. When he turned back he yearned to tell the five boys that he had enjoyed sex with Amber. It was so hard not to tell other guys and he struggled with the temptation silently. At least he had put paid to the faggot comment. He relaxed back onto the floor and cocked a knee feeling like a man among boys.

"Hey; you freshies don't have a tattoo yet. Get your asses into the kitchen." A twelfth grade girl looked down at them with her hands on her hips. "Scoot" she added. The three boys on the chair snorted when he looked back at them. Daniel checked with Troy and Fez, and then the three ninth graders reluctantly got to their feet; so much for being a man.

Three seniors sat around an old wooden table that dominated the brightly lit kitchen. They smiled good naturedly at the three ninth graders unconsciously huddled together for the illusion of protection. Daniel took in the wooden paddle by the sink and the cluster of bottles on the sticky table. A collection of shot glasses completed the picture and stimulated Daniel's imagination. Daniel had been paddled a few times at the freshie party in June. It was, in fact, the only thing he had really been prepared for. He and his friends had watched Dazed and Confused as some kind of educational video. The twelfth grade girl returned with a blond boy with ice blue eyes. One of the twelfth graders dropped his feet to the floor and scanned the four boys. "So who's first girls?" The blond volunteered. Daniel, Troy and Fez watched as the stranger approached the senior. "Seung, take it easy on the boys okay?" The senior picked up the paddle and swung it threateningly back and forth.

"Don't sweat it Noelle. We're just going to have a little fun." He turned to the boy. "What's your name freshie?"


"Put your hands on the counter and bend over." The boys watched as Sasha leaned on the counter and spread his legs as if he was being arrested. The senior took a batting stance and tried a few practice swings before sending the broad paddle crashing into the ninth grader's exposed rear. Daniel winced as the paddle cracked against the boy's body. Two more blows followed before the senior let Sasha stand aside. "Who's next?" The other boys were silent as Daniel hesitantly raised his hand. "Okay, it's the one-hundred dollar boy" Daniel felt a moment of consternation as he stepped up to the counter. He hadn't realized he was so well known. A glance at the first victim, Sasha, didn't reassure him. Sasha was doing his best to hide the tears from his paddling.

Daniel braced himself against the counter and thought about the beating Troy had given him at the beginning of the summer. He was sure that the senior was going to make it hard on him. When it was over he realized that it had been no worse than the paddling the first boy had taken. He thought he could go back to his friends in the living room after Seung was done, but Noelle told him to wait. He ended up next to Sasha watching Troy and Fez take their turns. His own butt burned from the beating and he was surprised to find it was still no easier watching the other two take theirs.

When the last crack filled the air and Fez had turned to lean against the counter with tears in his eyes, Seung pointed to the chairs around the table. The four boys accepted the invitation and sat down with the seniors. Seung sat beside Fez and the other seniors took his lead and began lining up shot glasses in front of the boys. "I don't drink" Abdullah said quietly. Seung paused with a glass in his hand. He looked mildly at the ninth grader.


"Yep" Daniel could see Fez wasn't sure how this was going to be received.

"Well I can respect that. I guess we can let you off the hook." He looked at his friends, "okay with you?" The other two seniors nodded their heads. "Take off kid." Fez pushed himself away from the table, but he didn't leave the kitchen. He was clearly curious about what was going to happen next. Seung looked at the three boys and waved a bottle of Canadian whiskey back and forth. "So are the rest of you white breads Moslem too?" Daniel shook his head slightly as he eyed the bottle. "Speak up girls!" Seung barked. He got three quick no's from around the table.

Daniel watched as Seung filled three shot glasses for each boy. The amber fluid quivered on the lip of each glass and threatened to spill every time someone bumped the table. "Drink up boys and don't spill." Daniel reached out and took a glass and raised it to his lips. It was clear that he was expected to drink all three. He threw them back quickly just as he had at Denver's place when they had shared the Tequila. It had been his plan to finish the three glasses and casually push the last glass back at the senior like he had with Denver in that special moment. As he was drinking the second glass he realized that the senior was already refilling the first.

Daniel tried to keep count. By the eighth glass his head was swimming and his belly was on fire. It took him a while to finish the ninth glass. When he was done he carefully set it down and steadied his hand before slowly pushing the empty glass toward Seung. Seung laughed at him and reached over to rumple his hair. "Nine drinks because you are in ninth grade."

"So you drink twelve?" he asked the senior.

"Seung is way beyond twelve I'm sure." commented Noelle caustically. The hostess sorted through a pile of rub-on tattoos and started applying them to the boys' faces. Daniel watched Sasha as the liquor worked its way into his system. Sasha's eyes were glazed as Noelle rubbed a flower on his cheek. "You go have fun." she remarked as she turned her attention to Troy and Fez . Sasha sat and seemed to lose his focus. Fez and Troy disappeared as Noelle started adding a small blue star to Daniel's face. The two boys suddenly focused on each other. Sasha reminded him a little of Greg.

Daniel decided to wander down to the basement after that. Sasha followed him down. Daniel's legs didn't work very well and he cautiously gripped the hand rail as he negotiated each treacherous step. He thought he had done well to keep the drinks down. Half way to the bottom he slipped and clutched the rail desperately as he tried to stop his slide to the bottom. When he came to rest the boy behind him stepped slowly past him and then dropped heavily on the step below where he rested. He turned to Daniel laughing. "I'm Sasha."


"Elsie Newton"

" 7th Avenue " Daniel's elementary school predated the board's current policy of naming schools after prominent educators in the community. "Hey"

"Hey" The boys sat looking at each other while they gathered the strength to move on.

"Hey" Sasha seemed to puzzle over something and his eyes drifted away for a moment before returning to Daniel's face. He wavered a moment and appeared to take time to untangle his tongue before he carefully added, "I'm Sasha"

"Daniel Murrell"

"Hey" Sasha pointed his index finger at Daniel and shot him in the chest. "Elsie Newton."

"Right" Daniel thought he had been here before, but he wasn't sure. He wagged a finger at the blond boy before adding "Riverview High"

Sasha's eyes lit up and he flashed a broad smile "Fucking A" and the two ninth graders connected with a sloppy high-five that left them both a little unstable. Daniel slid one more step down and then leaned back against the wall and watched Sasha make his own recovery. Sasha's face looked pale in the dim stairwell. Daniel's companion suddenly refocused and added "okay, now I'm wasted."

"Hmmm... I can't feel my ass." As the alcohol worked its way into his system Daniel rode a roller coaster of rushes that made his head ring and his heart pound. He wasn't sure he had ever been so drunk. He was content to sit with Sasha on the stairs until he heard an irritated voice telling them to get up. Rather than try to stand, both boys simply slid down the remaining distance and then pulled themselves up.

The basement was unfinished and the floor was covered by a loose carpet that tended to cling to Daniel's feet. A red glow punctuated by a strobe provided a hellish ambiance. It was far more crowded than the living room and Daniel was disoriented by the unfamiliar geography, loud music, and constant motion. He backed against a rough cement wall and felt his blood match the rhythm of the music. A nudge against his shoulder made him aware that Sasha had stayed with him. He was content to watch the older high school student's dance. It felt good. He really felt part of it all.

Amanda loomed out of the crowd and he tried to gather his thoughts, but all he could manage was a smile. "Dance with me" He smiled again and shook his head. "Come on, you need to burn some of that off." He shook his head again and tried to say something. Amanda gave up and simply grabbed a handful of his shirt and dragged him off into the crowd.

Daniel was like an old steam engine gathering momentum on the dance floor. Caught in the middle, he stood and watched Amanda dance as people bumped against him; slowly he tried a few tentative movements and when he realized nobody was really watching him he unwound and started to enjoy himself. Soon Amanda had him lost in the music. As one song shifted into the next he was barely conscious of his partners. The sweat started to run down his back. Amanda had been right; moving around felt good. Occasionally he would see Denver or Mark in the crowd. He didn't talk much. He was caught in the music.

Amber Klein saw Daniel through the shifting bodies. He seemed to be dancing by himself. She had been dancing with some of the older boys. It had been a good party after the discomfort of French kissing Maud. Nine shooters had made up for that and the rest had been a flattering series of encounters with appreciative boys in the tenth and eleventh grade. Chow had told her Daniel was around so she ditched an annoying boy boring her about high school drama and hunted for him. His shirt hung loosely about his frame and his short hair was plastered to his forehead. Amber drew closer to him as he twisted and turned.

When she reached him she saw his eyes were half closed. He was lost in a world of his own. "Dance with me" she urged. Daniel opened his eyes wider and smiled at her. He responded to her invitation. Amber tried to match his movements but his dancing had no plan and he still seemed disconnected from her. When she spoke to him he would focus and smile at her and then quickly drift away somewhere. She loved his smile.

They danced beside each other for a long time. Amber became tired of matching Daniel's random movements. When he paused between songs she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. The music aided her and they began shuffling together to a slow beat. Even when the music changed she held him to her. She was content to draw in his musky aroma and watch his face. She felt the muscles play across his shoulders and moved closer. Daniel finally seemed to catch the rhythm of her slow dance and they began to sway together. Amber closed her eyes as Daniel finally reached out to put his hands on her waist. She moved closer still and felt on fire as his crotch brushed hers. When the music heated up again she pressed herself against his bulge. Daniel shifted his hands to the small of her back and he began stroking a hand up and down sending shivers through her. Amber strained up for a moment and kissed him on the lips. Encouraged, he moved his hands down to cup her cheeks and as he massaged her globes she started grinding her hips into his.

She could feel him respond. The music drove them closer and she could feel the line of his penis as it stretched out against his thigh. She wanted to cup it in her hand and feel its strength. She let her own arms drop and slid her fingers into the back of his loose pants daring to touch the damp skin beneath his boxers. The flex of muscle beneath the firm cheeks made her hot and her nipples strained against her halter top.

Amber leaned back and slid her fingers around Daniel's waist band feeling his sweat before pausing at his firm smooth belly. Her eyes flicked down to take in the length of his penis rising toward her fingers. Resisting the impulse to grab him she let her fingers pull his loose T-shirt free of the pants and ran her hands up his slick chest to his nipples. He felt so good to her and they had never been this close.

Daniel responded as he swayed to the music. They turned slowly around each other as their hands played and the pressure stimulated them to grind their hips. She kissed him repeatedly and shivered when his hands wandered up to her breasts and lightly brushed her sensitive nipples. Daniel's eyes focused on her breasts with a hungry expression.

He still wouldn't connect with her. She wanted reassurance that he liked her. "Daniel" He smiled at her and dropped his hands back to her hips. "This is a great party isn't it?" This got a happy grunt but he still had not kissed her back. She remembered his looks in class or in the cafeteria. She knew he liked her. "Lots of people here, did you see Maud?" He shook his head. Amber tried a few other names but he was not paying attention. She didn't know why she kept talking. He seemed content in her arms and she didn't want it to end, "Where's Mandy?"

It was a mistake. She knew it as soon as the name had left her lips and she willed him to ignore her question. She saw his face transform from the distracted bliss of being close to her to that of a lost soul. He seemed momentarily sober and the smile left his lips. "I guess she didn't make it." She watched him shrug the question off, but she sensed she had lost him somehow. As they continued to dance he moved away from her and his hands stopped wandering. Daniel was not interested in her. It hurt to think about it so when the music stopped again she made an excuse and turned away. When she turned at the basement steps to look for him, he had disappeared into the crowd. She felt alone.

Daniel wandered through the crowd searching for Denver and Mark. He felt depressed. He didn't understand why he could dance so freely with Amber or flirt with her and then choke every time he was with Mandy. He hardly thought about the animal urge he had felt holding Amber close. It had been exciting, but he dismissed it from his mind. It didn't matter, he wasn't interested in Amber. The dancing had sobered him up and he wanted another drink.

Daniel circulated through the house, stopping in the washroom for a moment and sharing another shot with a senior in the kitchen. Daniel had lost track of the time and he was surprised to find that the crowd had thinned considerably upstairs. A few groups sat around talking and Daniel caught the scent of dope. Someone offered him a beer so he sat and listened to the conversation for a while. When the beer was done he headed back to the basement. The shot and beer had distracted him from thinking about Mandy.

Daniel glanced at a group of ninth graders sitting on a worn out couch. He recognized the guy named Sasha among them and responded to the boy's nod. He circled the dwindling group of dancers before finally catching site of Denver and Mark. Denver was slouched in the chair in a familiar pose. He had a beer perched on his stomach and he looked like he had been dancing. Mark was slung over the thick wooden arm with his arm across the back. Denver noticed Daniel and waved him over with a small flip of his fingers. Mark leaned down and caressed Denver's chest before turning his face and kissing him on the lips. Daniel smiled a little and shook his head slightly. He knew Denver didn't like Mark doing that.

"I just don't get why we have to put up with that. Why don't they go to a gay bar?" Daniel flushed and found himself next to the boy named Troy. His embarrassment turned to anger and he turned on the other boy.

"Shut up, I'm tired of your bull shit." Why did Mark and Denver have to ruin the party that way? Daniel gave Troy a push that sent the boy back a few steps. Troy had a puzzled look as he stepped close. Daniel stepped forward to show he was ready if the other boy wanted to challenge him further. Troy 's face suddenly loomed large.

"Are you sure you're not a faggot too?" Daniel ignited and aimed a punch at Troy's face. It never connected. Mark grabbed his arm and pulled him around.

"Back off Daniel; what's gotten into you?" Mark put his hand on Daniel's chest and tried to move him away from Troy. Daniel pushed his hand off. He could see Denver standing alert by the chair, bottle held loosely by his side. Daniel didn't want to explain himself. He didn't want to explain why he was angry at both of them. He pushed past Mark and went up the stairs.

Mark turned back to face the grade nine Daniel had pushed. "Do you have a problem kid?" The thin boy shook his head and turned away. Mark shifted to Denver and moved to stop him from following his freshie. "Let him go Denver. Give him some space." His lover seemed undecided. "He'll tell you about it later when he is sober; and if he can't remember, then it wasn't important." Denver let Mark draw him back to the dance floor. The evening had gone really well for Mark. Daniel had been happy in his own orbit. The party was special. It was just a party, but it was where they had met at Christmas. Once they had dropped the kid off at his apartment Mark had plans for Denver.

Daniel found himself outside in the dark. He walked back toward wooden fence wanting to get away from the noise. He paced a little under the looming canopy of some vast tree across the fence as he thought about Troy. Troy was okay. They probably shared the same interests. They could have been friends at school. He had not meant to get so upset. The anger and sensitivity was new to him. He tried so hard to get along with people most of the time. He didn't know where it came from.

It was just; Mark should have saved it for later. It always just complicated things. He knew Denver liked Mark; he was even okay with seeing them touch when they were alone. It was just fooling around. Daniel had done it himself. It was just; guys fooling around should be private. He had known guys he suspected of jerking off together. But it was something new to him and he was not easy about it. That truly horrible morning with Arlo had left him fearful that others would come to know he could like a boy's body. The truth was he agreed with Troy; he really wished Mark and Denver had gone to a room somewhere. Yet, he knew he shouldn't feel that way. People kissed and made out, why shouldn't Mark and Denver? Daniel realized he was going in circles.

Daniel looked up into the moonlight and closed his eyes. The leaves rustled and despite the sounds of laughter drifting from the party he could hear soft noises in the tree above him. He held a hand out and examined the play of light and shadow as he turned it back and forth. "Hey" Daniel twisted back toward the house and found Sasha watching him. "You want a beer?" The blond held out a can.

"Yeh, that sounds good to me." Sasha came forward and Daniel took the chilled can before collapsing on the grass. "Pull up a seat." Daniel crossed his legs and popped the tab. Sasha dropped the rest of the beer on the grass beside Daniel and sat next to him. Sasha took a beer, opened it and mumbled a curse when it foamed over. Daniel chugged half the beer and then sat watching Sasha.

"This is my first party. Corrine is my senior. Do you know Corrine?" Daniel shook his head and killed his first beer. "She's my brother's girl friend. He graduated last year and works in dad's shop. Vasilli's still tight with the seniors so Corrine and I didn't go to the freshie parties. Dad was in the army, the Red Army. He fought in Afghanistan man." Sasha paused to take a pull at his beer. He spoke quickly; like he was excited or nervous. "Vas' took a lot of shit when he was in ninth grade. Dad told him to suck it up. Was that your senior you were fighting with in there?" Daniel was caught off guard by the sudden switch.

"No, he's just a guy I know." That seemed unfair to Mark so he confessed "He's a friend of my senior." Daniel took a deep breath "He's my friend too."

"Is he gay like that guy who drank with us said?"


"Yeh, okay, Troy" What was with the Troy's in his life now? Daniel didn't like where this was going; he was more interested in Sasha's story about his dad. He killed another beer and reached for a third.

"We're going to need some more beer soon." He paused conscious that he might be drinking up the guy's beer supply for the night. He had scored big on the shots in the kitchen and somehow never got around to getting any beer from Denver.

"Go ahead, I've had enough. Do you want a toke? Vas' gave me a couple for the party." Daniel had never had marijuana before. He had noticed Denver and Eddie in the alley smoking. Eddie seemed to move in slow motion all the time and Denver would return from the alley relaxed and in his own world. Denver didn't let Daniel join them.

"Sounds good" Daniel had a good buzz on again. He watched Sasha dig a twist of paper out of his shirt pocket. "Hang on a second" Daniel struggled to his feet and walked over to the fence to relieve himself. He let the stream play along the cracked boards watching the rivulets stain the pale wood lost in the tree's shadow. Sasha was studying the joint when he turned around again. Daniel sat a little closer and tried to look experienced.

"You start it." The joint was offered and Daniel accepted it uncertainly. It looked the same at both ends so he didn't think it mattered which end he put in his mouth. He looked at the other boy to see if he was doing it right. "It's my first time." Sasha confessed. His eyes seemed a deeper blue in the night where only the light from the moon above gave definition to their surroundings. Daniel appreciated his honesty. He got along better with people when he didn't have to hide. Keeping his feelings from Mandy was killing him.

"Mine too." He held the hand made cigarette to his lips and felt the dry paper suck the moisture from them. He pulled it away again. "Mark is gay. He's Denver's boyfriend. Denver is my senior." This was met with silence and Daniel returned the joint to his lips. Sasha bent forward with a match and held it close. Daniel had seen enough stuff so he thought he knew what to do. It was like smoking a cigarette, except you couldn't cheat. After he took a small drag of the harsh smoke he held his breath and passed the ember over to Sasha. As he watched it brighten in Sasha's mouth he felt the drug seep outward like a massive release of accumulated tension. He was at peace. Sasha coughed as Daniel watched him and the boy took another drag at the joint.

As the smoke left his lungs Daniel felt it was like a heavy sigh. This was right. Like being on the river, you owned the moment. What ever came around the next bend was okay, how you handled it was your call. You picked the path through the white water; nobody watching your back like a parent. High school was going to rock. "You said it." Daniel realized he had said some of that aloud. Sasha offered him the joint. They passed it back and forth in silence. Daniel watched with interest when Sasha extinguished the last ember. His mouth felt dry so he soothed it with another drink. "So your senior is gay?"

Daniel fingered the sharp edge of the can. " Denver is Bisexual. He likes Mark right now. He's had girl friends." He chanced a look at the other boy. Sasha was picking at the grass next to his leg. "Anyway, he said he'd go back to a girl after Mark." He knew he wasn't being honest. "Mark's cool, really; he's been there for me a few times."

"So that Chinese kid..." Sasha's eyes met his and quickly shifted away.


"Okay, he said your senior paid over a hundred for you."

"I guess"

"That's wild. You're some kind'a prize. Corinne and Vas' had to pay $55 for me and I thought that was something." Sasha reached out and punched Daniel lightly in the chest.

"Denver's dad has some money; I think Denver pissed someone off." The sounds of the party were fading and Daniel found he was concentrating more on what he said. He had thought getting high would make everything funny; instead he found himself in a deep conversation with Sasha. They were really connecting well.

"Do you think he is after your ass?" Daniel flashed back to the patio, the fresh rain steaming from the bricks while he sat naked across from Denver. Thoughts of Sasha sitting naked passed quickly like a cloud across the sun. He laughed at the image and Sasha giggled back. Daniel studied the boy's lips for a moment and then abruptly blurted out an answer.

"He said he had a rough freshie year and he didn't want to see me have one too. He's not like that. He's my friend."

"Well, I think what you did was right." Sasha said it softly and Daniel was fascinated by the shine in his eyes.


"Telling that guy off" There was a muffled quality to Sasha's words.


"So do you have a girl friend?"

"No" The boy nodded his head.

"I had a girl. Well we were not that serious, just sucked on each other's faces a bit. She dumped me. There's this guy in grade ten, you know, he already has a car, and before Christmas the bastard will have his license. She said I wasn't mature enough for her."

"That's rough." Daniel did not like the direction Sasha had taken. "Still, she'll probably come back to you. Girls must like you. You'll have your license before long too."

"Oh yeh, she said she likes me as a friend. Riverview High is a big school; she'll find tons of guys. Who was that babe you were dancing with?"

"What?" The evening had become a blur to Daniel. The only thing that seemed real was this moment on the lawn.

"Don't you remember? You were making out together dude. She had her hands down your pants. You must be really wasted man. I could do her. You want to share another joint?" Daniel nodded and Sasha move around until he was sitting beside Daniel. Their legs were close together and their shoulders touched as Sasha carefully lit the second joint.

Daniel was inhaling his first drag when Sasha leaned in and placed a hand on his leg. "So tell me, have you seen your senior and his boyfriend doing it? Like, do they make out all the time, feel each other up? Do they suck dick?"

The hand was high on his thigh and his groin felt heavy. As his heart quickened he thought about his answer. "No, well, I guess they have a bit at Denver's house. A couple of weeks ago I was at Denver's for a party. They went off together for a while."

Sasha removed his hand, took a quick toke and then held it up to Daniel's lips. Daniel put his lips on the joint and felt the soft touch of the other boy's fingers on his face. "So did that freak you out?" After the drag he fell back on the grass and stretched his legs out. He put his hands behind his head so he could watch Sasha while he took another toke. Sasha's face was bathed in moonlight as the ember flared. The other boy leaned over his chest and put the joint back to Daniel's lips. He watched Sasha's eyes while he took a drag. While he held his breath Sasha studied the final shred and flicked it away. Sasha squirmed for a moment and finally lay down with his head on Daniel's belly.

"You know, it doesn't. I didn't know any gay guys. Well, there are always some guys you wonder about. I have a friend... Denver and Mark made me nervous at first, but Denver was really cool. Right from the start he let me know he wouldn't push it at me. He knows I like girls more." Daniel was unconscious of his wording. "I have a friend who loves the drama stuff, a girl not a guy. I don't get it, but it's like her life or something. So we get along, I think. We don't have to like the same stuff."

"I'm so stoned." Sasha's voice had a husky dreamy quality to it that seemed to match Daniel's mood. Sasha rolled on his side and held his hand up for a high five. Daniel laughed and slapped it. Sasha's fingers twined with his. The boy's head went back to resting comfortably on his belly and he was sensitive to Sasha's every movement. Daniel disengaged his hand and let it wander to where Sasha's shirt met his pants. Sasha's breath became louder as he gently tugged the material free. Daniel let his hand drop to the cool grass. He had been focusing on the stars poking through the clouds, but he shifted his head so that he could see Sasha's body stretched out. Sasha had been lying with one leg cocked comfortably. When Daniel stopped touching him he let his leg drop and then crossed it at his ankle. Daniel shifted his gaze between Sasha's slowly expanding chest and the subtle bulge of his crotch. After a minute Sasha lifted an arm and stroked the tight material of Daniel's black T-shirt. Daniel took another chance and returned his hand to Sasha's waist. He felt his groin tighten as his finger tips played along the soft skin. He could feel each quiver. Reassured that his partner accepted his advance he moved up to the hard chest and rested his hand against the heat. Somehow he floated on the darkness connected to the other boy. The barriers between them were down and the beer and strong dope elevated him to a higher plane. It was awesome. Daniel felt completely centered somewhere between the delicate sensations where his finger tips and palm melded with Sasha's flesh, the pressure of Sasha's head on his belly and the stirring in his groin. Everything else seemed numb to him.

Daniel's fingers trailed back down to Sasha's pants and he awkwardly tried to slip his fingers beneath his shorts. Somewhere Sasha's cock waited for him. He wasn't disappointed. The boy was hard. He pressed his fingers against the damp elastic head. Sasha undid his belt and the confining snap. Daniel groped deeper until he cupped the sweat-soaked bag before returning to the solid shaft. For a while he simply listened to Sasha's painful breathing and enjoyed the stimulation of the shaft slipping through his closed fist as Sasha moved his hips.

Daniel lost his grip when Sasha rolled away. His hand came to rest on Sasha's side. He studied the sky and the mass of writhing leaves above his head as Sasha opened his pants and freed his cock. Sasha's lips were soft and warm, the tongue encouraged his strength and as the shreds of clouds glowed with the reflected light of the city he realized he was holding his breath.

It came quickly in a hot rush. Somehow it was lost in the haze and warmth that still washed over him. He wanted to respond to Sasha in some way, but he felt weak. When the other boy pulled himself up without a word. Daniel struggled to push words past his paralyzed tongue. Sasha left him lying in the grass, his head in the shadows of the old tree and his body bathed in moonlight.

Daniel lay looking at the unseeing sky. Sasha's saliva and the residue of his cum cooled along his shaft as a slight shift in the wind breathed across his exposed groin. Daniel let his hand slide up then down his chest and stomach. His fingertips brushed the damp tangle above the satiated curve of his cock before he let them drop to the grass beside him. He was conscious that Sasha had left; the right moment, but the wrong boy. The thought surfaced that he should follow Sasha. Letting him walk away seemed wrong. They had shared a moment. He drifted away for a while and when he returned he realized he was cold. It was time to find Denver and Mark. He was tired.

* ** *

A tear trickled down Laine's cheek and he leaned his head against the railing consumed with shame. His cum-soaked cock was still hard and despite it all his tight fist continued to milk the last lonely drops free as his body cried for more. He had not meant to watch. He was an unwelcome intruder on their private moment of love. The half-naked boy below, God help Laine, seemed to have passed out.

The first boy had stumbled to the back fence while Laine leaned against the trunk of the tree listening to the sounds of the party. It was a pathetic thing to do he admitted to himself; both listening in on a party and later watching the boys below. Laine had noticed him when he began to stumble around in the dark below him mumbling inaudibly. The second boy's pale face and white hair drew his attention next. Not quiet summer-boy quality, though of course that illusive image, that fragment of time had faded to become a simple abstract idea like the perfect ten. Laine had no experience with beer, but he wished the boy would chuck a can up to him. he wanted to be part of their evening. Instead Laine had inched his way to the edge of the platform and listened as best he could to the byplay below. The words did not really matter. He watched as they talked and shared the first cigarette. He was stirred when they moved close and began to touch. Laine had wanted to be that boy lying in the grass with the blonds' head on his lap. To be close like that with another boy and share soft touches. When the blond shifted to first touch and then cover the other boy with his mouth Laine could not contain himself. He yearned to be the blond boy instead tasting the other. To be able to touch the boy's hard body and listen to his heart beat through the blazing heat of his belly. Laine had been hard, very hard.

The blond had left quickly. Below, half in the tree's vast shadow and half caressed by soft moonlight, the other boy touched himself. A moon-boy sliding his t-shirt up to expose a lightly sculpted frame before pausing above a swollen organ still inviting soft kisses; I am for you and I would not leave you alone there in the grass. I would whisper my gratitude, warm you with my naked body and give you back your gift with my lips moon-boy. Laine let his own release fill his nostrils and coat his tongue. He sat on the edge of his dream castle, blest the moment and drank his fill of the boy below. He listened to the sounds of the city and the trees until the boy, all too soon, stirred again. He watched him roll on his side and rise. Laine leaned his chin on his arms as he watched the boy put himself to rights before walking back to the house and the remains of the party. Two boys in love. Well thought Laine with determination, it will happen for me.