This is an original homocentric love story. If you are offended by homosexual relationships, do not read. All characters and situations are fictional and of my own creation. Any resemblance to real situations or people, living or dead, is completely coincidental.
Jeremy was sweating and cursing as his ass thrust back at me, meeting me stroke for stroke as I made love to him. "Oh, Tan! Tan!"
"Tan, wake up!"
Jeremy's voice finally broke through to me. I opened my eyes, to find that at least part of my dream was true; I had been humping in between Jer's thighs, and he'd been calling my name - but just to wake me up. My face immediately started burning with embarrassment. "Oh, god," I moaned, hiding my face against Jeremy's back. Evidently we had moved into a 'spooning' position sometime during the night. "I'm sorry, Jer," I apologized.
He moved away from me and turned around. His face was red too, but he was grinning, and his hard-on was showing that he hadn't completely hated it. "Am I going to have to wear steel underwear when I sleep with you?"
The total brat! He was teasing me? The hell with that! I attacked him, tickling mercilessly. "You little shit! It's your fault, you know; you shouldn't be so sexy!" It hadn't totally slipped my mind that we were both naked as we wrestled around - in fact I was completely aware of it - but I wasn't paying complete attention to it, either. Somehow, overnight, it had become comfortable to be with my Jer this way.
Jeremy was trying to muffle his giggles and his strangled screams for mercy by holding a pillow over his face, and at the same time, trying to block my hands. Not really very effective, you know what I mean?
"Time to wake up, Ethan! Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes," Mrs. G called cheerfully, as she knocked on my door.
Well, that brought our unclothed state to mind really quickly! We both froze. "Um... Thank you, Mrs. G," I called back.
A few seconds later we heard her do the same thing down the hall at Jeremy's room. And then again, minus the breakfast announcement, when there was no answer. Jeremy was kinda giggling, and I was torn between the humor of her doing that when her son was naked beneath me, and apprehension about what her reaction was going to be when she found out Jeremy wasn't in his room and his bed hadn't been slept in. I heard his door open, and then a few seconds later, close again.
Jeremy started nibbling on my neck.
"Mm..." Oh, that felt good. But now was not the time. Danger, in the form of Jeremy's mother, would probably be here any second, now. I pulled up a bit, breaking his mouth's contact with my neck, despite his attempt to follow. I was right.
"Jeremy?" She was back at my door again, her voice querulous.
Jeremy screwed his nose up at me for spoiling his fun, but answered her. "Yes, Mom?"
How could he sound so chipper? I'd have shit my pants, in his position. Okay, not literally, but I sure would have been a lot less self-confident than he was acting. Hell, I was nervous; and I knew Jer's dad knew exactly where his son had spent the night. He probably expected that Jeremy wouldn't be a virgin this morning, too. But from Mrs. G's voice, he hadn't seen fit to inform her. I made sure we were covered, just in case she decided to poke her head in, forgetting that the door was locked.
There was a second of silence, and then a quiet "Oh." A couple of seconds later... "Did you hear what I told Ethan?" Her voice was still a bit subdued, but closer to what it had been.
"Okay, then. Don't be too long."
"We won't," he called back. Still cheerful, and now nibbling on me again, although he'd moved to the crook of my neck. As distracting and wonderful as that was, something in his mother's voice bothered me.
"Do you think she's okay?" I asked Jer worriedly.
Jeremy shrugged. "I dunno," he admitted quietly. "She didn't sound mad, though." He wasn't nibbling on me any more. That made it easier to think, but I kinda missed it, too. I bent down and softly kissed him before continuing our conversation, but I knew our talk was killing the mood.
"Yeah, but she didn't really sound okay, either," I pointed out.
"Dad woulda told her, wouldn't he?" The mood was gone now, but his naked warmth still felt good against me. My bladder was telling me I was going to have to get up soon, though.
"I don't know what your dad would do, Jer. He's surprised me all along. But he knew you were spending the night with me, and it sounded like she was surprised you were in here."
He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then... "Um... Tan?"
"Could you let me up? I gotta go."
"Me too, now that you mention it." I didn't want to say that I'd been aware of it for a while. My bladder really did feel like it could let loose any second.
We scrambled out of bed, whipped our bathrobes on, and raced each other to the bathroom. Jer beat me, but not by much, and I joined him at the toilet - a first. Neither of us said anything as our streams pounded into the water below, but we both let out sighs of relief as we finished up and shook off the last drops. I flushed the toilet, then turned to my blond beauty and laid a light kiss on his lips before realizing...
"I've probably got dragon breath. Let's brush our teeth, then I'll give you a proper good morning kiss. Okay?" I asked, with a smile.
A couple of minutes later, I did just that. I let my hand drop, and fondled Jer's jewels after a couple of seconds, then stroked his re-awakened morning wood a couple of times before reluctantly pulling away. I sighed. "We need to get dressed, then see if I'm going to get neutered or not."
Jeremy had the temerity to giggle. "She better not! I'm not through with it, yet," he said, his giggle turning into a full-on laugh.
"Think you're ready for it now, do you?" I teased. I was still a bit worried, but I couldn't help twitting him for his timidity last night.
He turned serious and moved into me, loosely wrapping his arms around me so he could still lean back and look at me. "I'm sorry, Tan. I don't know why I got so scared."
I thought about it. "I think if it had been just you and me, it would have been okay," I finally said, "but your dad really freaked us both out last night with all that stuff he gave us. Made it more concrete; less romantic." I thought about it. "No, that's not quite it. All that stuff made it seem like it was more about sex, than sharing ourselves with each other?" I got frustrated. "Something like that, anyway. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yeah. I think so. And it's not about sex. It's about love. I don't think Dad really understands that, yet."
That didn't sound right. "I think he does, Jer. I don't think he'd have let you sleep with me if he'd thought it was just sex. I think it was just bad timing. If he'd given us that stuff a few days ago, we might have been able to handle it better. Like I said, it really freaked me when I saw all that stuff. And I know it freaked you!"
I could see he wanted to deny it, but he was honest enough with himself that he couldn't. "Yeah, okay. I freaked," he admitted in a defeated tone.
A delicious scent hit my nose - or at least, I finally noticed it. Bacon, and... bananas, and... pancakes? My stomach growled. "Smells like breakfast is going to be good!" I said, changing the subject. "Let's get dressed. You okay?" Jeremy was still leaning his head on my chest.
He picked his head up and gave me a wistful smile. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."
I kissed the tip of his nose. "C'mon." I took his hand and led him back to my bedroom door, where he split off to get some clean clothes from his own room.
A few minutes later we were sitting down at the table. It wasn't banana pancakes, as I'd half figured, but banana waffles, with butter and blueberry syrup. Orange juice, milk and coffee rounded out the meal. Well, I had coffee, along with Jer's parents. Jeremy hadn't developed a taste for it, yet. Mister G took his black, Mrs. G liked a little milk, and I put both milk and a little sugar in mine, to take the edge off the bitterness.
Yeah, okay, so I'm stalling. It wasn't a very comfortable breakfast, all right? There I was, sitting with Jeremy, and both of his parents thinking we'd done the nasty. I wasn't about to disabuse them though, since I didn't want to go through this again after we actually had. I knew they both wanted to ask, but were too embarrassed and downright polite. Jeremy looked uncomfortable too, but not as much, since he was still a virgin. Then he spoke up, and surprised the hell out of me.
"Yeah, okay?" His voice was really defensive as he spoke to his parents' silence. "We slept together last night!" He'd thrown down the gauntlet. All that remained was to see if anyone was going to pick it up.
"We knew it would happen eventually," Mister G said quietly, after a few seconds.
He had known it was going to happen last night. I knew he was trying to keep the peace with his wife, so I didn't say anything, but I sure wanted to.
"It was nice," Jeremy said, half-petulantly, half-defensively, and very softly.
"That's between you and Ethan," his father replied.
He didn't say it, but the slight tension in his voice added 'unless he hurts you'. That got my back up, but what could I do? He hadn't actually said anything.
"Thanks, Dad," Jeremy said, but turned worried eyes on his mother.
Mrs. G looked from her son, to me. She studied me for a while, looking into my eyes. What she saw there must have reassured her, 'cause when she looked back at Jer, she said, "I think he'll be good for you." It was hard to tell whether she really meant that, or was just trying to cope, but she said it in such a way that you knew she didn't want a reply, so there was dead air again.
I decided it was up to me. "Delicious breakfast, Mrs. G! I don't think I've ever had banana waffles before; just pancakes."
It was a peace offering, and she knew it. "Thank you, Ethan," she replied. Peace offering accepted.
The atmosphere was still uncomfortable, but it was a lot less tense, now.
"You know that your 'rents think we did it last night, don't you?" I asked Jer later in his room, while we were playing 'Champions' on his Playstation.
He got this panicked look on his face as he swiveled to look at me, and messed up. "I gotta tell them!" he said, starting to scramble to his feet.
I grabbed his arm. "No!" He was still almost panicking, but he waited for me to explain. "It's over now, Jer. If you tell them, what's going to happen when we do? Do you want to go through that again?"
"But we didn't!"
"You're telling me?" I asked, grinning wryly. His expression was priceless. "Look, Jer; what's so bad them thinking you're not a virgin anymore? Not to mention that I'm still a virgin," I added, sotto voce. Now Jer was looking apologetic, again. "'C'mere, babe," I said, tugging on his arm. As he sat down, I sat up from my former prone position and pulled him into a hug. "'S'okay! I was just teasing, all right?" I don't think he believed me, but he nodded. "What's important, is that the worst is over, now. They think we've done it, and the mighty hand of justice didn't fall. Right?"
When he gave me a wry grin, and shook his head in agreement that nothing terrible had happened, I grinned back. "So now we can take our time, and not have to worry about it when we're ready. Right?"
"I do want to do it with you, Tan, but... "
"I know, babe. But you know it's not going to get any better until we have, don't you? We know it's probably going to hurt at least a little bit, no matter how much we prepare for it. But it's probably not anywhere near as bad as you think it's going to be."
He nodded ruefully.
"Tell you what; we won't plan it. We'll just have fun, and if it happens, it happens. If not, we'll still have enjoyed ourselves. Okay? There's lots of ways we can have fun with each other without doing 'it'."
He relaxed, and nodded. "Okay," he said, relieved.
"You're not going to freak if I touch you there, are you?"
He looked at me a little strangely. "How can I answer that until it happens?"
He had liked it in the shower, but now he'd probably think there were expectations. I laughed at myself. "You're right. Stupid question. Now let's finish this game. I was beating your ass, royally!"
"Keep your mind off my ass, and no you weren't!"
Well, I couldn't let that go by, could I? "But it's such a cute ass!"
He ignored me, although I saw his cheeks flush, and took the pause off. "Game!" he ordered.
He whipped me, but good.
After lunch (bologna sandwiches, potato chips and cola), we headed back to Jer's room to play another of his games, but we got a little... uh... distracted. We were in the middle of a really hot petting session; Jer was laying on top of me this time, slowly thrusting at me, when Mrs. G knocked on the door. Thank god we were still dressed.
"Ethan? Your mother is here!" she announced through the door, saving all of us from an embarassing moment.
I'm afraid that I rather rudely pushed Jer off of me as I scrambled to my feet. Fortunately, once upright, I remembered, and grabbed his hand, pulling him along behind me.
"Jeez, Tan! Excited, much?" he laughed.
"Behave!" I ordered him.
He stuck his tongue out at me. Really adult, right? And then he said, "Gonna spank me in front of your mother? Ooo, kinky!"
By that time we were most of the way into the living room. By the expression on my mom's face, she'd heard that comment. Coupled with the fact that I was still holding Jer's hand and dragging him with me... Well, you get the picture. I rounded on my boyfriend. "Jeez, Jer! In front of my mom?" If my face was as red as it felt, I must have presented a picture. My mom started laughing. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "For that, you've earned a spanking!" He didn't look as scared as he should have. Well, we'd see if I could change that, later.
I turned around. "Hi, Mom!" I went over and gave her a big hug. She tried to crush me with hers. Felt good, really. Mrs. G was in the kitchen fooling around with coffee stuff, so I didn't worry about refreshments.
"How have you been doing, Ethan?" my mother asked as she sat down again.
I shrugged. "I've missed you, but other than that, it's been great, here. Mister and Mrs. Graves are wonderful people, and Jeremy... " I trailed off, looking at Jeremy, and blushing. But Mom and Dad had instilled honesty in me, and lying wouldn't be fair to Jeremy. I walked the two steps over to him, and took his hand in mine, then looked back at my mom. "Jeremy's my boyfriend, now."
"I gathered that," Mom said, laughing. "What's this about spanking?"
"Jer's birthday was yesterday," I mumbled as an explanation, face red. I wasn't about to tell my mom that my boyfriend got hot when I spanked him; not that we'd followed up on that, yet. And I still had to have that talk with him, too.
About that time Mrs. G came in with the coffee service on a tray. Talk about good timing! "I'm sorry, Evelyn; I don't know how you take it?"
"Black, one sugar. Thank you, Amy," she replied, helping herself.
"Oh, and a belated 'Happy Birthday' to you, Jeremy," she said.
"Thank you, Mrs. Whiting," Jer replied, with a shy smile.
"Want a coke, Tan?" Jer asked me as he headed for the kitchen.
"Sure, Jer; thanks!"
"Tan?" my mom inquired.
"It's rather cute, Evelyn," Mrs. G inserted, before I could reply. "He calls Jeremy 'Jer', and Jeremy calls him 'Tan'. And nobody else is allowed to call them that!" she informed my mom, laughing.
'Thanks, Mrs. G,' I thought sarcastically, blushing. I hadn't known that Jer had refused to let anyone else call him that, though. Made me feel kinda warm and fuzzy.
"Oh! Before I forget, Ethan... Your savings book." Mom rummaged around in her purse for a couple of seconds, then handed me my bankbook.
"Thanks, Mom!" I slipped the booklet into my back pocket, gave her a hug in thanks, then sat in the love seat.
Then Jer was back with the soda. "Here ya go, Tan," he said, handing it to me, then joining me.
"Thanks, love," I said easily, then froze, blushing, as I realized what I'd said, and in front of whom.
Mom had a strange look on her face. "You weren't kidding, were you?" She thought I was joking? "Are you... intimate?"
I blushed. 'In every way but the one you're thinking of, yeah.'
"You taught me that it's not polite to talk about what you do in private with someone, Mom," I said out loud.
And she had, too. We'd overheard some older high school guys bragging to each other about their conquests in a restaurant, once. My mom was furious, and let me know in no uncertain terms that she'd whip me bloody if I ever talked about a girl that way. (I knew it was an over-exaggeration, but boy, was she mad!) I figured it applied anyway, and I knew she'd take the evasion as an admission.
I looked at Jeremy. He had supportive parents, but he looked like he'd like to learn the same trick I kept trying to do - sinking through the floor, or going invisible. I pulled him into a one-armed embrace. He hid his face in my shoulder.
"Oh. You're being... careful?"
"Mister G made sure we knew what we needed to do." I was walking a thin line; telling the truth, while giving an erroneous impression.
"Tom knew?" Mrs. G asked, looking a bit upset.
"I don't think he knows what we did last night, no," I replied. It was true. He expected that we'd have full-out, no-holds barred sex. We hadn't.
"It was just last night?" my mom asked.
"Look, can we stop talking about our love life? It's kinda personal, ya know?" I was getting annoyed. All these questions were really upsetting Jer, and I was far from being comfortable, myself. I made a show of comforting my boyfriend, to drive the point home.
"You're my son. I think I have a right to know what you're doing," Mom replied, trying to stay calm. I could see it.
"But not in detail, Mother." I almost never call Mom 'Mother' - just when I get really upset with her.
She took a deep breath. "Ethan Tyler Whiting... "
I winced at the use of my full name, but interrupted. "No, Mother. If I were out at all hours of the night drinking, doing drugs, or something like that, you'd have every reason to be worried. You taught me better than that, and Jeremy isn't like that, either. We took some time to get to know each other-" Mom looked like she was about to interrupt, and I knew where she was going. "Yeah, two weeks wouldn't normally be that long, but we've been together practically 24/7, and Jeremy's really easy to love." Jeremy tried to crawl inside my shirt with me. Actually, he just turned a bit and snuggled closer, so it'd be easier to hide his face. "But we've both read all the literature. We know all the risks, and how to avoid them. And we love each other, Mom."
My mother looked silently at me for minute, then looked at Jeremy clinging so closely to me. "Is that the way you feel too, Jeremy?"
Jeremy, usually so brash, just shyly nodded, not even trying to look at her.
"Jeremy, it's just my mom. She won't bite." I couldn't resist teasing Jer, and twitting my mom a bit at the same time. "Besides, she's going to be your mother-in-law someday," I said softly.
That really got his attention. His head shot up, and since I'd been leaning over his head, it bumped my chin pretty hard. Luckily, I didn't bite my tongue.
He stared into my eyes. I'd been half-serious when I said it, but he decided to react to the teasing. It was safer. He slapped my arm - hard! "Don't tease about that!" he snapped, forgetting the parents.
"Well - maybe someday, huh?" The hell with the parents. I gave him a light kiss on the lips, and he melted into it. It gave me a feeling of power to be able to do that to him. It also made me feel very protective of him, and I wrapped him tenderly in my arms.
I looked up at my mother. Her eyes were a little dewey.
"So how're things going at home?" I asked, not really wanting to know.
"About the same," she said sadly.
That's what I'd been afraid of. I just nodded my head.
"How're you doing in school?"
"Okay. The guys know, you know. They're okay with it now, but it was touch-and-go for awhile."
"They know about you and Jeremy?" she asked, surprised.
"No! Just that I'm gay. We're trying to keep Jer out of it."
"Tom told me what you've done, Ethan. Thank you," Mrs. G put in.
I just shrugged. "The longer I can keep Jer safe, the better."
"I can take care of myself!" Jer said, defending himself.
"I don't want to have to find out how well the hard way, all right? As long as nobody knows, you're a lot safer!"
He kind of slumped a little. "I just feel like such a coward."
"You're not a coward, Jer. I know if you had your way, you'd walk down the halls holding my hand; but I don't want you getting hurt, and you know there are plenty of bullies at the school."
"Have you had any trouble?" my mom asked me, sounding worried.
"No, but it's only a matter of time. I think Barry and the guys'll help, and Mister G is making some changes at the school that might help. I think he's trying to get a 'zero tolerance' policy against bigotry passed for the school, or finding ways to enforce it if they already have one. He's also trying to get a GSA started, and I don't know what-all."
"Gay-Straight Alliance. He wants me to head it; at least until it can elect officers."
Mom frowned. "That could be dangerous, couldn't it?"
"Yeah, but no more than being known as a queer."
Mom winced. "Don't use that word."
"I'll probably hear worse," I told her gently. She just looked more sad as she nodded in agreement.
"I'm going to join, too," Jeremy told her. "Since straight people can be members, they don't have to know I'm Tan's... boyfriend." He turned to me, frustration plain on his face. "Da- Dang it, Tan! I don't want to hide it! It's like saying I don't have a nose!"
I tried to distract him. "I'm a nose?"
"No! I'm gay!"
I pretended amazement, over-acting shamelessly. "No! When did this happen?"
He grinned despite himself and hit me, then sobered. "Stop it. You know what I mean. I don't like pretending to be something I'm not. It's lying."
I could see it wasn't going to work, so I got serious, too. "It's also self-preservation." I don't know why Mom and Mrs. G weren't chiming in, but I was kinda grateful they were letting us work it out on our own.
"But it's not me!"
His eyes were pleading with me to understand. And I did, really. I knew what he was talking about, and it tore me up, because it was a choice between being untrue to himself, and being open to danger from homophobic bigots. I wanted him safe, but it seemed that the means for keeping him safe might kill or cripple something inside him, and I didn't want that, either. I could feel tears building in my eyes.
"I... " My voice choked. I cleared my throat, and tried again. "I want you to be safe. You know that." I saw the protests starting in his eyes, and shook my head, indicating I wasn't finished. The knot in my throat was killing me. "But you do what you need to do, Jer. I love you. I'll back whatever decision you make." Now I saw joy in his face, and stopped him as he was about to launch into me. "Just - promise me you won't do it unless you have to?"
Then he was in my arms. I heard a whispered "I promise." I felt a warm wetness on my neck. Jeremy was crying, too.
I had almost forgotten that our mothers were right there until I heard mine gently clear her throat. I looked up, and she was dabbing her eyes. When I looked at Mrs. G, she wasn't crying, but her eyes were bright. And I thought I saw pride in both their faces.
That night, Jeremy and I again took separate showers. Not that I wanted it that way, but I didn't want to push things too far, too fast, either. My boyfriend was proving to be a bundle of emotional contradictions, and I didn't know what to expect. So I decided to play it safe: at least for now. I had beat Jer to the shower, and when I came out, he was waiting his turn. He looked a little disappointed.
I gave him a hug, and kissed him. "You look a little down, babe; what's wrong?"
He gave me a weak smile. "Nothing."
"You wanted to shower with me again, didn't you?"
He had. Damn. "I'm sorry. I just thought you might think I was being too pushy, if I asked."
"Doesn't hurt to ask," he said, a bit truculently.
"Thing is, babe, that sometimes it seems you're just doing things to make me happy, instead of doing them because you want to."
He looked into my eyes. "Making you happy makes me happy, Tan."
"And that's what I'm trying to do, too."
He put his arms around my neck. "Tan?"
I kissed his forehead. "Hm?"
"Who's in charge?"
"Hard to say. I know you want me to be, but I don't want to make you unhappy, so I don't push it."
He was quiet for a long time, resting his forehead against mine. "I feel really weird saying this... ," he said, then stopped. He put his head on my shoulder, hiding his face. After another few seconds, he continued. "When you don't, it just feels like you don't care."
"What?" I half-yelled, holding him at arm's length so I could look him in the eyes. "What the fu- Jeremy, I love you!"
He pulled me back into a hug, and his arms tightened around me. "I didn't say it made sense, Tan!" he said desperately, clinging to me more tightly. "I know you love me. But that's how I feel!"
It was my turn to think. Could I do this for him?
"Tan?" Jer said, worriedly.
"Sh, love. Just thinking." If I couldn't find it in me to give him what he needed, eventually he'd find someone who would; and they might not be as nice about it. Unwillingly, pictures I'd seen on the internet flashed across my mind's eye. I shuddered. I loved Jeremy too much to let him get into that. Or if he had to, it would be with me. I could make sure he didn't get hurt from it. "We have some serious talking to do, Jer. But I'm not going to let this break us up. Take your shower, then meet me in my room."
He looked worried, but he went. I went in my room and booted up my computer, then found a couple of websites that dealt with stuff like that, from spanking to light bondage and discipline, to the hardcore stuff, then minimized the windows. I'd have to clear the history and cache, and make sure there were no unwanted cookies or other shit, later. Then I waited for Jer to show up.
He took longer than usual, but finally I heard a knock on my door. Jer'd never knocked before, but I knew the sound of his mom and dad's knocking by now, so it had to be him. I went over and opened the door. I don't know why I didn't just yell for him to come in; maybe it was because yelling didn't seem right for the solemnity of the occasion. When I opened it, he looked into my eyes for only a second, before dropping his gaze to the floor.
I held out my hand. He took it. I tugged, and he came into the room. I closed and locked the door. "Why'd you knock, Jer? You never have, before."
He shrugged. "Not sure." He looked uncomfortable. Ah. Okay, that made sense. The 'talk' I mentioned... Better get on with it.
I walked over to the computer and sat down. "C'mere, Jer." He sat in the other chair I'd pulled up earlier. "I want to know exactly what kinds of things you want, so I pulled up some websites." He was flushed, but putting on a brave face. I pulled up the first page - the one with pictures of spanking. I knew he liked that, but to what degree? The pictures showed guys getting spanked with hands, belts and straps, different kinds of paddles, and other things, and the condition of the guys asses afterward. "What would be too much for you?"
He squirmed a bit. "Tan, this is embarrassing."
I took his hand. "You're wanting me to satisfy something in you that I don't really understand, Jer. Sure, I get hot when I spank you, but I don't really want to hurt you, and I don't know just what you want. If we're going to make this work, you've got be honest with me."
He nodded, and looked at the pictures again. I could see that his cock was stirring as he looked, but there was a definite look of distaste on his face for some of the pictures. Good. "I... I don't think I'd want you to hit me with anything, Tan. Just your hand. I like... " His face was burning now, and he glanced quickly at me, to see my reaction. I carefully kept my face neutral, but interested. He swallowed. "I like your hands on me," he whispered, looking down at the floor.
"I like my hands on you, too," I reassured him. "So you don't like the thought of the paddles, or belts, or anything?"
He shook his head.
"Then look at this one," I said, pulling up the light bondage and discipline page. Spanking really came under that too, but it was a specialty on some sites, and since I knew Jeremy was into that, I'd found one of those.
His eyes widened. "They do stuff like that?" There were pictures of guys with their hands tied, hog-tied, gagged, etc; sometimes with the 'discipliner' having his way with his 'victim' in various ways.
"Do you like any of that?" My voice must have been harder than I thought. I really didn't like any of this. He shook his head, but his cock was saying otherwise.
"Don't bullshit me, Jer," I warned him.
"I don't know," he admitted quietly. "I might like..that," he said, pointing at one picture, where a guy's hands were tied to the bedposts while his lover licked him.
I resolved to try it without the ropes, first. "Anything else?"
His eyes scanned the screen, pausing a couple of times as he thought them over, but finally he said, "I don't think so."
Good. I wouldn't have to bring up the other screens. "Let me clean all this stuff off the 'puter, then we can talk some more," I told him. When I'd finished, I swiveled around (it was an office chair). "C'mere," I said, holding out my arms.
He stood up and moved closer, and I pulled him sideways onto my lap, holding him firmly. "I'm kinda relieved. I thought it might be worse." He looked shamed and tried to get up, but I held him firmly in place until he gave up; he hadn't been fighting that hard, anyway. He then hid his face against my shoulder. "You like feeling helpless?" I was really curious about this.
He shook his head. "I feel... safer... when I know someone's in control."
I thought back over everything I knew of his home life. "This have anything to do with your mom not letting your dad punish you?"
He sat bolt upright, staring me in the eyes. "You think... ?"
"I dunno, babe. You tell me."
His eyes unfocused as he thought about it, then came back to mine. "I don't know... Maybe. I know Mom and Dad love me, but... "
I frowned, trying to suss it out, but got nowhere. "I guess it doesn't really matter. If that's what you need to feel safe with me, then... "
Jer looked helpless - in a quandary. "I do feel safe with you! I just... I need... more." Now he was looking close to tears.
I tightened my grip on him, trying to make him feel more secure.
"Bedtime, boys! School tomorrow," Mister G announced through my door. "Jeremy; your own bed, tonight."
At that, Jeremy's grip on me tightened. I knew he needed to be held for awhile.
I quickly slid Jeremy off my lap onto his feet, shocking him, got up, and then ran to the door, hoping to catch Mister G before he got very far. "Mister G!" I was in luck. He was still close. When he looked at me in question, I continued. "Could you come in for a minute, please?" If Mrs. G was around, I didn't want her to hear this.
When we were all in my room with the door closed, I made my pitch. "I don't know how to say this without sounding like I'm trying to be manipulative, so I'm just going to say it: Jeremy and I just had a very stressful talk about our relationship, and I think he needs to be held for awhile. I'll set my alarm so we get up on time, but could Jeremy spend the night, please?"
Mister G looked at me piercingly - trying to divine if I was trying to be manipulative, I suppose - then turned to his son. "Jeremy? Are you all right?"
"Yeah; I think so." The stress was evident in his voice, though.
"Do I need to know what this talk was about?" Mister G asked me.
I was torn. "Jeremy?" I said, asking for his opinion. He shook his head. I could certainly understand that!
"Um... Relationship stuff," I told Mister G. I know he knew Jer didn't want me to talk about it, and thankfully he didn't put me on the spot by demanding more of an explanation.
"If there are problems getting up and getting ready in the morning, this won't happen on a school night again," he told us, then walked out, closing the door behind him.
I looked at my boyfriend. "C'mon, Jer. Let's go to bed." I turned the sheets down, then went about setting my alarm clock for six-thirty.
He took off his bathrobe and threw it on the chair, took off his pajamas and slipped, nude, into my bed. I turned off the light, then followed suit. He cuddled up, then reached for my cock.
"Not tonight, love. It's late, and we need to be able to get up in the morning," I told him. Fortunately I'd tossed off in the shower, so while I regretted having to make the decision, it wasn't all that hard to put off.
He wrapped his arm over my chest, his head on my shoulder. "With you holding me? I'm sure I will be," Jeremy giggled.
He was feeling better, if he could joke. "Did you remember your steel underwear?" I teased. He giggled again, making me grin. "Good night, love."