Date: Fri, 1 Jul 2011 13:35:56 -0700 (PDT) From: Joey Young Subject: Untitled Love Story, Chapter 14 Same disclaimers apply. Author's Note: Lisa thank you again. You're the best editor anyone could have. You're an immense help and presence in my stories and I'm proud to call you my friend. And a special thank you to my loyal readers who have stuck with this story despite its melancholy story arc. I would also like to welcome new readers and hope they enjoy these stories. -Joey Young Untitled Love Story Chapter 14 Thanks, your friend. -Joey Young "Wha-" I breathed in horror. I turned to my mom for confirmation but she was in a frozen state of shock. "Mom?" I asked with a slight whisper, before hissing loudly to get her attention. "Mom!" "What?" she asked in a daze. "Cale, what?" "We need to go," I whispered again, feeling the need too. "We need to--we need to--" But I couldn't finish my sentence. It just hung there like an open question. My mom moved then and patted my arm, her buzz completely gone. She dug around in the kitchen before she came back holding two bottles of water. She handed me one, but I didn't know what to do with it. I just stared blankly at my hands, willing the news to not be true. It seemed like my heart was numb. It had received too much heartbreak in the last few months to even register a fresh break. So there I stood, staring at the clear bottle of water, unable to feel anything but transparent and empty like the bottle I held. She was gone. She was gone and I didn't even get to say goodbye. The hospital was strangely normal, like nothing tragic had occurred. But what was I to expect. It was a hospital, they experienced death all the time. My mom walked steadily to the elevators, already on the phone with her nursing staff. I could hear her talking but the words seemed to die at my ears, so I just followed. The elevator opened onto the second floor and all my mom's nurses were already there. They held a clipboard and scrub shirt out to her as we all walked to the children's wing. A few of the nurses patted me on the shoulder, but I didn't acknowledge any of them. I knew they felt bad for me, but my main concern was for Jenny's parents. Immediately I saw them through the window of the children's wing. They were hunched over her bed, shaking with unheard tears. I stopped then and couldn't go further. I just wanted to sit and rest. So I did. People moved by in a blur or what felt like a blur. I couldn't keep up with constant flow of people walking by, it was all very disorienting. Eventually my head started to hurt and I had to close my eyes. Once I did the throbbing in my head ceased, but the grief was still there picking at my soul. Suddenly I looked up, sensing someone watching me and glanced around the hallway. I was right. Near the end of the hallway, staring at me as he leaned against the corner was Josh. Even from this distance I could still make out the bright gleam of his green eyes. His dark curly hair was in disarray above his head, making his boyish features strangely masculine. He only had to lock eyes with me once, before I felt myself get up and walk swiftly to him. He noticed my advance across the hallway and met me halfway. Within less then a few seconds I was hugging him like I had never hugged a close friend before. His arms were unfamiliarly muscly and he smelt like clean soap, which was accompanied by the smell of his cologne. It was all very heady, but I didn't dare let go first. Because this was our pain, this was our private moment to mourn the loss of someone close. So we did. We mourned the death of Jenny. The death of her dreams. The death of my generosity. The death of my faith. He pulled away first and stepped away to catch his breathe and that's when I noticed he was crying. Real tears. This broke my heart but I couldn't join him. I had no tears to spare. I just felt numb, which was probably alright. He moved to the nearest chair and sat, the tears still streaming down his face. I felt bad for him, but what was I to do. So I sat next to him and silently held his hand. It was minutes later before he spoke and the only thing he said was, "I'm going to miss her." And that was it for conversation between us. My mom came out shortly and told me Jenny's parents were ready for us, but I didn't know if I was ready for them. The only time I felt deaths cold touch was when my father died and even then I hardly shed any tears. Now, I had to console two parents who had lost their child and were going to have to bury her soon. I just wasn't sure I was ready, but before I even blinked I was standing in front of them. "I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Martin," I said somberly as they gripped both of Jenny's hands. I couldn't look at her just yet. Instead I kept my gaze on her parents, who quite frankly looked like crap. Mrs. Martin's make-up had run in long blotches down the side of her right cheek. Her hair was in matted tangles around her scalp where it stuck like seaweed. Mr. Martin had his glasses pushed above his head, leaving his red blotchy eyes open to everyone. He kept wiping his nose like a little kid, which only made his predicament more heartbreaking. "Thank you, Caleb," Mr. Martin said as he sniffed. "You meant a lot to Jenny. . ." sniff ". . . She always. . . She always spoke well of you. . ." sniff ". . . And for that we thank you. . ." Once he said these words he broke down and pulled at Jenny's hand, which were white as the sheets. I felt my heart contract with pain and I stole myself a glance at Jenny's small frame. Her body was still with death, her face looking peaceful, almost like she was sleeping. Her bright red scarf was the only color on her face, which contrasted with everything. Quickly I looked away, unable to view her as a corpse. Josh's chest was the nearest thing I could bury my head into. In that moment I so badly wanted Dante to be there. I wanted his arms circling me not Josh's, especially when I wanted to forget everything at the moment. But for some reason I also wanted someone else's warmth and familiar smile. I wanted Drew to tell me everything would be alright, because he was the only one I believed when it came to things like this. Suddenly I pulled away from Josh and sprinted to the door. I burst through without even registering who was walking through. I could hear people murmuring, but I didn't pay attention. Instead I ran to the elevators and jumped through the closing doors, just as they sealed shut. But not before seeing Josh's concerned expression. ~*~ Three unread messages my phone told me as I pulled up to Drew's house in my mom's car. I quietly shut the engine off and flipped my phone open. The first was from my mom asking me where I was. I'm fine mom. Just needed to be alone. I'll have the car home by 11. Love you. -Cale The second one was from Stacey, who found out about Jenny's death. She sent her condolences and told me she'd be by tomorrow. She didn't need a reply, so I just moved to the next message, which was from Dante. Love, I'm sorry about your friend. Do you need company? I understand if you don't. I texted back immediately. Thank you. Not right now. But tonight I will. I love you. -Cale After texting everyone back I slowly got out of the car, locking the doors behind me. The street was empty and peaceful. The air was nice and brisk for autumn. I grabbed my shoulders and tried to hold all the warmth inside of me. Drew's house looked occupied. The living room's light was one, so were two windows on the second floor, which probably meant everyone was home. I treaded carefully up the small stepping stones and started to lose my drive. However I felt myself reaching for the doorbell before I even registered the fact that I was disturbing them. But it was all forgotten when I heard the loud ding of the bell. I froze in anticipation just as the door opened away from me. Immediately I stepped back in unfamiliarity. A tall willowy girl stood in the doorframe. Her golden hair spilled around her shoulders, drawing the eye to her soft features. Instantly I recognized the quick flash of intelligence in her grey eyes. Drew's sister. Claire Caldwell. "Hi, can I help you?" she asked nicely as she stared at me openly. Quickly I regained my composure. "Uhh, is Drew here?" I asked hesitantly as she continued to stare at me. "Sure," she replied kindly. "And you are?" I shuffled my feet uncomfortably as she stared at me questioningly. "Caleb, Caleb Pierce," I answered awkwardly. She immediately brightened at my name. "Oh!" she exclaimed excitedly, but mellowed down enough to call for Drew. "Drew you have a visitor!" She turned then and smiled winningly at me, which was very intimidating considering the relationship I had with her brother. Within seconds of announcing a visitor, Drew appeared from the living room. His confused expression immediately brightened at my appearance, before settling down into a mask of concern. He gestured Claire with his head to go back to the living room, which she obliged willingly, but not before she smiled at me. "It was nice meeting you, Caleb," she said as she rounded the corner. I could hear other voices from the other room, but I forgot all about them when I looked upon Drew's handsome face. He was wearing a tight v-neck t-shirt that was a light shade of red, my favorite color. His golden hair was lightly gelled to make his curls look like he barely got out of the shower. I could clearly make out the defining muscles beneath his shirt and his arms had a light downing of golden hair. His bright blue eyes were fathomless beneath the dim lighting of the entryway. He smiled hesitantly at me before he gestured us to go outside. He looked back once, before following me and closing the door behind me. "Hey," he said as I sat on the porches steps. "Are you alright? Is something wrong?" He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around his knees, which were exposed beneath his dark blue shorts. I stared at him as he got comfortable and noticed that he looked leaner. His face had a golden sheen of hair around his jaw, which caught the light whenever he moved his head. He would look at me then catch my eye, then look away again just as quickly. It was all very adorable. "Nothing, I just needed a friend," I replied with a smile, which didn't reach my eyes. He noticed. "Caleb, you're lying," he stated matter-of-factly. "What happened?" I stared at him then and tried to smile. It didn't work. My face always betrayed me, especially with Drew. "A friend died today," I answered with a somber expression. "And I just needed someone to talk to or whatever." I looked away then toward the lawn and wiped away a small tear. He saw my gesture of despair and placed his rough hand on the side of my face. He turned my head to look at him, which was a bad idea, because he was devastatingly handsome. "Cale, you know you can always talk to me, no matter what," he said as his thumb started to rub my cheek. "I'm sorry about your friend. I hate to see you this way, especially when you could be so much happier." I stared at him then and before I could stop myself, I was kissing him. My lips connected with his and a spark surged through me. My insides melted and I lost myself in his hold. I could feel his tongue slip into my mouth and I could taste him everywhere. Our breaths were hitched and loud as we kissed. He murmured softly to me as we kissed, but I couldn't quite hear him. His hands explored my bare skin, beneath my shirt, while mine ran through his golden hair. He made me forget for that single moment that I had any problems. He made me forget about Jenny's death. He made me forget I had a fatal disease. He made me feel warmth and light, which was rare in my life. So I basked in it, until suddenly I heard the front door open and someone call to Drew. Immediately I pulled away from Drew and stood up. I looked to the person on the porch and noticed it was another boy. He had short cropped hair and was well tanned. His hair was dark and his eyes were a dark brown. He looked remarkably handsome in his long sleeve button up shirt and black jeans. He stared at me for a moment, before turning his attention back to Drew. "Uhh, your mom wants to know if you want something to eat?" Drew turned to the boy and smiled at him. "Tell her I'll be there in a minute," he replied kindly and stood up to face the boy. "Sean I'd like you to meet a friend of mine." He gestured to me with his free hand and smiled widely, while staring at me. I grimaced in return and looked to the boy, who was staring at us suspiciously. "Hi, I'm Caleb," I greeted, suddenly feeling a wave of shame cast over me. "And I was just leaving. . ." I turned then and started to walk down the brick pathway, when Drew caught up to me. "Hey, hey, hey, where you going?" he asked startled. "You just got here. . . And I haven't seen you in a while." I stopped and faced away from him. "I don't know what I'm doing," I sighed in frustration. "Everything's just out of my control. . . Jenny's dead. I've kissed you. And I have this stupid sickness. I just have no idea where to go from here." I turned then and faced him in the dim lighting from his porch, where the boy named Sean still stood. Drew's face was cast in dark, his blue eyes unreadable in the harsh shadows. I could just make out the outline of his body. His head was cast down and his hands were in his pockets. But he just stood there not moving, until I heard his soft voice. "You've compared my kiss to death and illness, even when I thought it was. . .was. . ." but he couldn't finish the sentence. Instead he just turned and started to walk up the walkway. "Wait!" I exclaimed desperately. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way and you know it." He stopped and stood just before the steps. "Do I, Cale?" he asked quietly. "With all the lying you've been doing, how am I supposed to know the difference." It was like a slap to my face, which left a sharp sting in its wake. "That's not fair," I whispered back just as quietly. "I have my reasons and you know it." His back hardened then and I knew he was angry. I was right. He turned around and glared at me lividly. "You're a liar, Cale, and you know it," he hissed back viciously. "Just go. I don't even know why you came here." That hurt worse than before. "I thought I could find a friend," I replied sadly as his nostrils flared. The boy from the porch slowly descended and grabbed Drew's arm. It was an intimate touch that suggested something deeper between them. For some reason that stung me too. "I guess I was wrong," I whispered dismally and turned to the gate, not looking back. ~*~ I felt his arms wrap around me in the dark and immediately I squirmed into his chest. His arms tightened instinctively and I knew I was home. I forget all about my encounter with Drew and the date I clearly interrupted. Instead I let Dante's presence numb all the pain I had accumulated throughout the day. "I'm sorry about your friend, love," he whispered softly in the dark. I just pulled his arm tighter not willing to let go. It was strange though. I wanted to cry, but no tears came. I knew I was safe to show my emotions in front of Dante, but I couldn't. Instead I just held onto him and memorized his distinctive features. I could smell the subtle hint of cologne and body wash on him, which were mingled with his manly scent. I could feel the small hairs on his sinewy muscles which held me closely. I could even match my breaths to his, which were slow and deliberate. Not quite deep in sleep but reaching that point. Slowly I moved up and rested my head on his large bicep, which extended the length of my pillow. I stared at his gold-green eyes and moved a hand up to his stubbled jaw. He smiled warmly at me and pulled my chest to his. His face was subtly concerned under his comforting smile. Gradually I moved my hand to his hair and ran my fingers through his thick scalp. "Do you think I'm a liar?" I asked quietly which brought an immediate look of concern. He moved then and started to guide my thigh around his waist. "Of course not, who said that?" he asked quietly as he grazed my thigh with his fingers. "No one," I replied absently. "I just think most people do." He started to shake his head even before I finished. "Love, love, love," he whispered amusedly. "No one thinks that and if they do, they don't know you very well. . . You had to protect the ones you loved by keeping a secret and I understand that. You also kept something hidden from me for a good cause. So please don't dwell on the negativities of someone's words and just worry about you for a change. Okay?" I stared at him as he said these words and knew them to be true. "Okay," I agreed. He sighed then and kissed my cheek. "Are you tired, now?" he asked softly as he pulled the blankets tighter around us. "No," I replied just as a yawn took over me. He chuckled lightly, which shook the bed a little. "Alright, but I don't believe you," he said as I slowly drifted off to sleep. I yawned again, which made him laugh a little harder. "Go to sleep, love. Escape from the pain for a little while." And I did. The morning of the funeral was unbearable. All I could see was black. Black everywhere. I dressed in a dark blue button up shirt, which was strangely out of place in the crowd of mourners. Even Stacey and Justin who I invited solely for support were dressed up in black. Stacey wore a black pencil skirt and black blouse, while Justin went formal with a black button up shirt. I stared at them as we walked to the burial mound. There was an air of awkwardness between them that I couldn't quite fathom. Quickly my train of thought switched and we stopped where they were to lay Jenny's body. Stacey and Justin flanked me on both sides and continually patted me on the back in understanding. But still I couldn't shed a sing tear. I felt guilty for the last few days for not being able to produce tears, but no matter how hard I tried they never came. Especially when it was hard for other people at the funeral. I could her constant weeping of women, the soft sniffling of men as they tried to hide their tears, and the wailing of Jenny's mother. I have to admit, after that day at the hospital I never could gather up the courage to face her again. So I kept a good distance between us throughout the ceremony. The funeral was nice and proper for Jenny. Near the grave was a huge picture of her framed by a wreath of roses. She was smiling like she always did, showing each of her small puppy teeth. She looked immensely healthy in the picture and you would've never guessed she had cancer, except for the bright red scarf that cascaded from her scalp. It was like a shower of bright red waves, giving brilliance to her image. I stared at it as the minister said a eulogy. He spoke of her courage, bravery, and strength, which with every word pierced my heart. He told us of her long fight with cancer and the constant light she always emitted. But of all that he told us about her love. Her love for her family, her friends, and above all things her faith. She blamed no one for her condition, especially when she was nearing her death. She just had a constant glow of optimism that couldn't be darkened by any black future. After the minister spoke, Jenny's parents went up and took their turn. It was heartbreaking to see them like that. They looked dignified, but broken if that was possible. I stared at them with pride until suddenly it wasn't them standing up their, it was Dante and Drew. I blinked rapidly and shook my head from the vision. It worked, but only briefly. Eventually I looked away from the images my mind had conjured up and attempted to look at Jenny's picture. But the photo had shifted from a smiling Jenny to me wearing a dark tuxedo, my brown hair lightly brushing my forehead like it always did. I gasped in fear as the vision took over me. This wasn't Jenny's funeral, it was mine or so it seemed. I shook with fear and broke away from the gathered guests. Justin immediately grabbed my arm and followed me as I walked away from the ceremony. I could hear the titters of people at my outburst and I saw the crowd reform as we left the funeral. "What's wrong?" Stacey asked in a subdued whisper, while we walked through the tombstones. "Its Cale," Justin hissed as I broke away from his grasp. "Cale, what's wrong buddy?" "I just have to get away," I replied quietly. "It's just all too surreal." I wanted to get as far away as possible, which wasn't that far before I was a new patch of gravestones. It took me awhile before I saw that it was my father's gravesite. I felt the air leave my lungs in one quick flurry and I crouched on the floor to see my father's grave. Within a few seconds I sensed Justin and Stacey kneeling by me. Their concerns were slowly beginning to morph into an argument, which wasn't about me. "Please just talk to me," I heard Justin say to Stacey as I moved to sit in front of my father's grave. The tombstone was a dark granite that had bird droppings on it and the grass was soothing under my butt. "You know whatever it takes to fix this thing between us I'll do it," Justin continued still talking to Stacey. "I'm gonna make it right, Stace. . . . I'm gonna make it right." I couldn't see Stacey but I saw the movement of her feet, which were on my left. They stayed rooted in place, while Justin poured out his heart to her. To me it was all a mystery. "What are you guys talking about," I asked as I stared at my father's grave. Suddenly it became awkwardly silent and I could see the shuffle of Justin's feet. "I thought everyone knew," I heard Stacey ask, clearly to Justin and not me. I got up then and stood between them, staring at them expectantly. "Knew what?" I asked starting to feel like I was out of the loop. "Well. . . ." Justin said giving Stacey a quick glance. "Over the holiday we got kinda wasted. . . .And well. . . .we slept together." I stood there in shock, staring at both of them. Different emotions surged through me at that moment but I couldn't express them. "But it wasn't that big of a deal," Stacey said hurriedly before Justin gave her a look. "Oh no. . .that was good, trust me. I'm just trying to say it wasn't that big of a secret. . . Cale. . ." And before I knew it I was laughing hysterically because of all things they could have brought up at a funeral they chose this. I laughed at the hilarity of it all. However, slowly it morphed into loud sobs. This was not just another funeral, this was little Jenny's. Jenny who had the cutest smile. Jenny who laughed like tiny angels. And it finally hit me. I would never see her again. I would never hear her small voice again. Ever. So I cried. My voice hitched and cracked under the whirlwind of emotions I felt. Hot tears streamed down my face as I fell into Justin's chest. I clutched at his arm as he held me close. Eventually my cries turned into wails of anguish. My heart a loud echo of my pain. I could no longer stand the pain. My legs gave out under me and I that's when I felt the support of Stacey's arms. "I don't want to die," I wailed into her neck as she held me. My cries of grief and revelation scared them and made them hold me tighter. Justin kept rubbing my back in a brotherly manner and Stacey began to weep along with me. Her silent tears stained my neck as it escaped her sorrowful eyes. "You won't Cale," she whispered furiously, her arms squeezing in determination. "I can't breathe," I wailed as I took in huge gulps of air. "I CAN'T BREATHE!!! WHY CAN'T I BREATHE?!?! I . . . .CAN'T. . . .BREATHE!!!!" And I literally couldn't. It was like a vice was placed around my heart and with each breathe it gripped it roughly. I was like a fish on dry land trying to survive. However, they both held me up as I fell apart. Stacey soothed me with quiet shushing sounds, while Justin held us up like a solid rock. Slowly I began to calm down, my tears a silent reminder of my grief. I still felt the heavy tightening of my heart but I could handle it now. Gradually Stacey and Justin began to talk again. "We should call Trudy," Stacey said a hint of concern in her voice. "She's at work," Justin replied peevishly, before soothing his voice. "Buddy, do you wanna go home?" "Cale, we should go home," Stacey said, repeating Justin's tone. "What about Dante?" I heard Justin ask. "Clearly he can handle Cale." "He's all the way across town." "So? He'll come all the way for Caleb." "Yeah. . . . But I hate the look he gets when he sees Caleb like this. . . . It's very romantic, but sad at the same time. . . ." She trailed off in thought as she helped me stand. I wanted to ease their distress, but I couldn't--no wait- -didn't want to move. I felt content just standing there, near my father's grave. I knew all along where I was going, so instead I stood there, while they continued to argue. "Drew? Seriously?" Stacey exclaimed after Justin suggested calling him. "Cale would never forgive us, besides I think he's ready to go." I knew what she meant. I had lifted my head off of Justin's shoulder and let go of Stacey's waist. Slowly I turned and broke away from them, turning my back on my father's grave. ~*~ The light breeze of the sea washed over me as I sat between Dante's powerful legs. I rested against his hard chest, enjoying the brisk weather. I wore one of his large sweaters and swaddled myself in his arms. Both of our feet were bare, digging into the soft pliable sand. I marveled at the way the sea could look gray and cold but still be happy and peaceful at the same time. Dante stirred then and kissed me on the neck. "You alright?" he asked as he rested his chin on my shoulder. "Not too cold?" "No," I answered quickly and smiled as his cheek warmed mine. "Today's just perfect." And it had. It had been a week since Jenny's death and I began to breathe again. My mom was working endlessly to find answers to my illness and Dante's parents were contacting every oncologist they could find. All in order to heal me of my sickness and I was just happy to be nestled in Dante's arms. Today we had breakfast with his parents, before they went to work. Afterward we put Dario in front of the TV and went to his room. We made love three times that morning, but still we felt the urge to be intimate. Even now I could feel the stirring of Dante's dick as I rested against it. It had been weeks since the first time we made love and we still had that same fiery passion. However the momentary feeling of peace never lasted long and eventually I would feel the weight of my darkness press on my shoulders again. Especially now when I didn't know if Drew would still be a part of my life. Even though I knew it was a bad idea to be thinking about him at all, I still felt love for him however unfocused. Suddenly Dante broke my reverie. "Do you want to go inside?" he asked softly as the sky started to get cloudy. I stopped for a moment and stared at the dark sky waiting for the immediate rain to start. The news had been forecasting impending showers for the last week and finally it had arrived. I got up then and looked to the sky, waiting for the cooling water I loved. There was a crack of thunder, which didn't phase me but started to worry Dante. "Cale?" he called as I stared up at the rolling clouds. "Come on, let's go insi-" "Shhhh," I whispered as a droplet fell onto my face. "Just give me a moment." He sighed but let me have my moment. I loved rain. Probably because it was soothing, but mainly because it washed away everything. Your pain. Your memories. And the dirt of your life. So as I stood there and lighting flashed above, I felt the first showers in months. It quickly drenched my hair and slowly began to work on my clothes. For a week I had been quiet and reserved, but now I felt giddy with joy as the cool water splashed across my face. I danced around in the flurry of water, enjoying the spray of freshness. I turned to Dante and saw him staring at me with a crooked grin. I didn't know I was laughing until he started to join me. His thick sweater was plastered to his thick torso and muscly arms. His hazel eyes were alight with appreciation and delight at my new mood. His hair hung in dark tendrils around his chiseled face, making him look like a model posing for a photographer. Quickly he closed the gap between us and grabbed me from the rains embrace. He chuckled heavily as he spun me in his arms, the rain no longer a hazard to him. He spun me until we both grew dizzy, but he never let me go. Instead he stared into my eyes and leaned down to kiss me softly, all the while the storm raged around us. I don't know how we found our way back inside but we did. He peeled off his clothes in his bedroom as I lay on his bed already naked. I watched as the huge windows alongside his room revealed the storm outside, which closely resembled the storm within me. Within seconds he was fully naked and staring at me hungrily. His body was more chiseled in this lighting and his abs looked like little tiny boxes of muscle. His pecs were huge and greatly revealed how powerful he looked. His eyes gazed over my body too, while mine zeroed in on his greatest muscle. It swung freely from between his meaty thighs and laid atop two fairly large balls. Both the shaft and balls had a dark dusting of curly hair that trailed up to his taut navel. Before long he couldn't take it anymore and he took me upon the mattress. I nimbly wrapped my legs around his waist and felt him enter me with one quick movement. I gasped as his balls rested on my ass. We made love ferociously as the lightning flashed outside, momentarily brightening the room. I savored the scent and taste of him as he kissed me passionately with each thrust. I gasped at each sensation that sent me over the top as his dick filled me. The weeks had done nothing to diminish the love I had for him and they never would. He pulled me close as his passion flashed like the lightning outside and he held me as though I would shatter in the throes of our love making. "I love you," he whispered as his warm seed filled me. ~*~ "I stopped by, despite my better judgment, so this better be good," I replied as Drew helped me onto his porch. The rain from yesterday made his porch a slippery hazard, but I believed he only used the rain as an excuse to touch me. "Look I'm not hear to apologize," he said as he sat on the banister along with me. "Besides don't you get tired of me constantly saying, I'm sorry?" I smiled then and relaxed my stance. It was nice to be with him when he was like this. Easier. "But I am sorry about your friend," he said despite saying he wouldn't apologize for anything. "My mom told me. . . . Are you okay?" I stared out at his lawn, which brought back memories of us at my porch. "Yeah, I'm fine now," I answered truthfully. "Had a meltdown, but I'm fine now." He chuckled at my little joke. "Well, I'm glad. I hate seeing you sad, especially that night when you came over. . . . . Which brings up why I asked you here." I turned back to him and patted the banister I sat on. He obliged willingly and plopped onto the white wood along with me. We sat like this before, I thought as I stared into his bright blue eyes. I could also see that he remembered it too, by the way he stared at my feet and my face. "That boy," he said starting with the most obvious question. "That boy was a bag of mixed nuts. . . . No pun intended. . . . . He was actually here for a blind date, which was set up by my sister. She found out I was gay from my parents and insisted that I meet with her friends little brother." I glanced around uneasily. I didn't want to hear this. He noticed my un-comfortableness and misunderstood it. "Don't worry Cale, he wasn't that interesting," he said thinking I was jealous. "He was just a blind date gone wrong. However he did offer me one thing that I couldn't turn down." I grimaced as he said this and though immediately of sex. And for some reason I felt a sharp stab of pain. Drew was still my friend. He wouldn't instantly ditch his feelings for me and sleep with the nearest piece of ass available or would he? Quickly I understood that I was jealous. This new emotion shook me to my core and left its icky green presence in my heart. "He was a student recruiter for the Navy," he said oblivious to my spinning thoughts. "He suggested that I try out for the recruitment training. He already said I had the physique and mental capabilities, but I told him I would think about it. . . . Cale don't you see? This could be a new path for me. . . . . But if there was a reason for me to stay. . . ." I stared at him in disbelief, "What?" "I could say yes," he replied. "But only if there was no reason for me to stay. No reason for me to leave my heart behind." "What?" I repeated a step behind. "Ugh," he growled and stood up from the banister. "You understand everything but what I'm trying to ask you." He turned around then and stared at me beseechingly. His blue eyes blazed with frustration. "Give me a reason," he said firmly as his eyes began to swim with tears. "Give me a reason, Cale. Please. I need to know I'm staying for something I've been fighting for, since the beginning. . . . Or. . . . Or just put me out of my misery, but please just make a decision." I stared at his devastatingly handsome face as he pleaded for my love. His golden hair was slightly damp from the rain, but his strong jaw was set in determination and rebuff, waiting for my answer. "I . . . I . . . Can't," I whispered. "I can't tell you what you want to hear. . . . It wouldn't be fair." "Please, Cale," he urged. "I can't live like this. Constantly waiting for you to choose between Dante and me. Pleas-" "I choose him!" I screamed at him, which made him double back in shock. "I choose him, Drew, but it's not fair, because I don't want you to go to the Navy. I choose him, but I also choose you. . . . That's why it's not fair. I'm sorry." He chuckled darkly, even though his eyes swam with tears, "I guess you've made your decision, then?" I just nodded and slowly got down from the banister. "I'm sorry." ~*~ "Hello, Caleb," Dr. Peters said as him and my mom walked into the room I was placed. He was holding a white clipboard that I always associated with a doctor, while my mom was simply in her scrubs. He had dark cropped hair with a few graying lines on the sides, which attested to his age. His face however was still sharp and rugged. He smiled at me as he placed his clipboard onto the table and took a seat. My mom followed suit and smiled kindly at me. "Hi," I answered cheerfully as they told me to take a seat. "What's this about?" They both smiled and glanced at each other, with affection and triumph. He was handsome that much I could admit and they way he looked at my mom made me hopeful for her future romance. I sensed a new surge of energy in the room which was contagious and made me slightly excited. "Caleb, we found a solution," my mom said with pure honesty. "A solution where you don't have to die. . . ." I stood up then and smiled, unable to contain my momentary shock. "What?" I asked in disbelief and pure hope. "Yes," my mom said smiling widely, before she started to cry, "We still have time, Caleb. . . . We still have time." But all I kept thinking was, thank you Jenny. Thank you. Please send comments to untitledlovestory23@yahoo.com