Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2011 11:50:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: Joey Young <untitledlovestory23@yahoo.com>
Subject: Untitled Love Story, Chapter 9

Usual disclaimers apply. This is a complete work of fiction.  All rights
reserved by the author. If you are underage, object to gay erotic fiction,
or it's illegal where you are, please leave now. Send all comments to Joey
Young at untitledlovestory23@yahoo.com

Author's Note:

First off, I have decided to take a short hiatus from the series to
recharge my overused batteries. I have been experiencing some major
writer's block and wish to take this time to confer with my muse.

Hahaha. But seriously, its just for a week or so. To gather fresh ideas and
take a step back to enjoy my spring break. But no worries, I will return,
with a new storyline and exhilarating vigor. Caleb will get his story told.

Secondly, I have an immense gratitude for my ninja editor, Lisa Blackburn,
and the assassin of grammatical errors, Dillon Gracers. Awesome names by
the way. They have made my stories more pleasing to the eye and have
corrected my many errors, which should have included this note. But I
digress. Thank you, Lisa and Dillon; I appreciate the help in every way. My
story would have sounded a lot more confusing and choppy if you hadn't
stepped in. I hope to utilize your help again on the next chapter.

Lastly, I would like to thank all my readers and fans of the series, for
your continued support. I wouldn't have the motivation to write, if it
weren't for your comments and encouragement. I write to bring you
entertainment and some semblance of a love story. I hope to keep doing this
as long as the stories continue. So, again I thank you and hope you enjoy
this chapter.

Untitled Love Story

Chapter 9

I awoke to an annoying beeping next to my head. I blinked once and opened
my eyes to a bright room.

Warm sun streamed through the windows. My mouth was dry and parched with
thirst. I tried to move, but felt slight pulls in my wrists and arms, and
there was something inside my nose that obstructed my breathing.

I know this room, I thought as I looked around. This was where I played
when my mom was working.

I could see the blinds over the clear glass walls, where people passed by
in scrubs. There was a huge desk-like structure down the hallway, where an
older lady sat writing on a clipboard. I looked down at myself and noticed
I was in a hospital bed.

I moved my hand experimentally and was met with resistance in my palm. I
looked and saw calloused tan fingers closed tightly around my hand. I
followed the hand to the body of a boy, laying his head on my bed. He had
golden curly hair that tapered at his neck.  He was wearing a clean red
t-shirt and a baseball cap.

I registered the rough texture of his hand and squeezed back. Suddenly he
jumped up, startled by my sudden response.

"Caleb, sweetie!" he exclaimed in surprise, and turned away to the far side
of the room. "Guys he's awake!

That's when I noticed an array of people lying in small chairs. Each was
covered with a jacket. Stacey was lying on two chairs, while her head
rested in Justin's lap. Justin's head had fallen back in sleep and jerked
up after Drew said I was awake. He turned and shook Stacey up, before
turning to my mom, who was lying in the same position in another chair.

I also noticed Dante and Dario both lying on the small couch opposite my
mom and Justin, near the door. I didn't expect Dario to be here. Gradually
I shifted my body, trying to move. I wanted to wake them up and tell them I
was fine. Drew saw what I was doing and held me down by my shoulder.

"He said Dario wanted to see you," he whispered and slowly let go of my
shoulder.

I turned to look at him and was about to say something when Stacey
immediately pulled me into a hug.

My mom and Justin soon joined in. They all suffocated me with their love
and numbed the pain in my throat a bit.

"Caleb, please," Stacey said, and continued, "please, don't do that
again. You have the unnatural tendency of a damsel in distress."

I laughed dryly; my throat needed liquid, but I managed to squeak out,
"Believe me, that wasn't my intention."

"Well intention or not, we still need you buddy," Justin said and rubbed
his knuckles into my hair. I brushed it away playfully. "Listen, Cale,
about what I said..."

I cut him off before he could finish, "Already forgotten."

He smiled and hugged me again, pulling Stacey along with him. I chuckled
softly and pulled away. I looked to my mom, who hadn't spoken yet. She was
staring at Dante and Dario, who were still silently sleeping in the
corner. I glanced in their direction and sighed.

"They've been here since last night," she said addressing only me. "Dario
insisted on staying, despite his parent's objections, so Dante stayed with
him."

"Did everyone find out?" I asked gazing at each one of them for an
explanation.

They all shared a sideways glance before turning to Drew. He seemed to
understand the consent of everyone.

"Well. . .when we were outside and you had that seizure, we kinda had to
call the ambulance," he said giving me a sheepish grin. "We didn't know
what to do. You scared us half to death. I've never seen that much blood
before. Caleb, why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

He looked between my mom, Stacey and Justin, before turning back to me.

I sighed, "Drew I have nasopharyngeal carcinoma. It's a cancer that attacks
the lymph nodes and trachea. I'm already at stage four and right now I
think it's reaching the final stage."

He was still staring at me like he didn't understand.

"I'm dying," I said calmly. "It's already too late to operate without
killing me, and I've refused the treatments."

He stood up in sudden shock. "Why?"

"Does it matter?" I whispered, as he slowly shook his head. "It's already
too late."

"No," he replied sternly, "there's got to be a way. Caleb, please."

"I'm sorry, Drew, but the can-"

"No!" he yelled, making me cringe. I turned to the corner of the room and
noticed for the first time, that Dante was awake.

He stared back at me in astonishment. He slowly stood up and walked to the
side of my bed. He looked at me for a moment then turned to Stacey, Justin,
and my mom.

"Is it true?" he asked, looking each of them in the eye. "Is. It. True?!?!"

I looked at them but no one answered. Finally I answered Dante myself.

"It's true, Dante," I replied calmly. "It's all true."

He turned to glare at me "Why?"

I stared back confused "Why what?"

"Why refuse the treatments," he spat at me angrily.

"It's none of your business," I replied icily, and glared equally back at
him.

"Damn it, Caleb!" he cussed loudly, and turned away from the bed.

I watched him as he slowly paced the floor. I turned away from him and
looked to Drew, who was sitting back in his chair; shock the dominate
feature on his face. He stared silently at his hands, not fully focused
enough. My family wore the same mask of defeat and stood loosely around my
bed.

"Why's everybody yelling?" a little voice peeped groggily.

I turned to the corner where Dario was barely waking up. He rubbed his eyes
like in the movies and stood up yawning.

I smiled at him, "Nobody's yelling, right guys?"

He suddenly brightened at the sound of my voice, "Caleb! You're awake!"

I laughed dejectedly, "Yupp, just like in a fairy tale."

He laughed too and bounded over to my bed. He sat at the edge and pulled
out his little game device. It made me smile to see him so comfortable.

"Hey, guess what?" he asked excitedly, oblivious to the sudden tension in
the room.

"What?" I asked smiling.

"I got a new game," he said proudly "Dante bought it for me."

I kept smiling at him. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Dante had
stopped pacing and stared at me, but I kept my focus on Dario.

"Really?" I asked, feigning excitement. "What kinda game?"

"Super Mario Brothers," he said still buzzing with excitement. "It's hard
at first, but I know you'll get it soon enough. You can keep it until you
get better."

I felt tears starting to sting the back of my eyes, "Thanks, kiddo. I
will."

Suddenly my mom spoke, "Dario?"

He turned his big brown eyes to look at my mom. She smiled warmly at him
and he smiled back.

"Do you want to come with me and get Caleb some ice cream?" she asked
extending a hand.

He grinned ear to ear, before turning back to me.

"Ice cream always makes me feel better," he said quietly and handed me the
game.

I laughed, "Me too."

He smiled and jumped off the bed, as my mom stood at the end, waiting for
him. But before he left, he turned back to me.

"Can you beat Dante's score, so he'll stop bragging," he asked, crinkling
his nose in distaste.

My throat was thick with tears, "Sure, as soon as I can move, buddy."

He glanced at my IV's, "I hope you feel better."

With that he bounded after my mom and grabbed her hand. I watched as they
walked down the hall out of sight. I tilted my head to the side and rested
on my pillow, trying to stifle a sudden breakdown. I felt someone's hand
slowly massage my clamped fingers, but I didn't look. Tears streamed down
my cheek and fell onto my bed sheets. Silent tears that meant nothing but
frustration and sorrow.

"We'll leave you guys alone," I heard Justin say and felt the light
pressure leave my palm.

I sighed and nodded my head. Dante moved to my side and stood
solemnly. Drew was still in his chair; face in his hands. Slowly he lifted
his head. He looked to me in the bed. I smiled reassuringly at him, but he
just glowered at me. Justin and Stacey left, heads hanging without a glance
back.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as the door closed behind Stacey and Justin. "Both
of you. You shouldn't have found out this way."

Suddenly Drew stood up, "You never told me it was this bad!"

I cringed at the intensity of his words.

"You never asked," I whispered defeated.

"YES. I. DID!" He boomed loudly, making me shrink back into my bed.

His nostrils were flared and his temples were lined with veins. Dante
immediately moved around the bed and stood in front of Drew. He shoved him
back a bit with force. Drew tottered on his feet before regaining his
balance. I couldn't see Dante's face but it must have been malevolent with
rage, because Drew didn't move from his spot.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to both of them, hoping they would understand my
apology. "This decision was made weeks ago, before everything got so
complicated."

Dante's back stiffened with tension, but he remained in place, holding back
Drew. Drew however, was shaking his head with annoyance and denial.

"We can force you to take the medicine," he replied angrily. "I'm pretty
sure your family wouldn't mind.

You'll see."

At his words, Dante's shoulders squared and his teeth ground together
audibly. Suddenly he threw his fist into Drew's jaw. It hit with a loud
thwack. Drew's head went reeling with the hit, but he regained his
equilibrium. He glared balefully at Dante, but just spat at him. Red sticky
mucus landed at his feet. Dante stood his ground.

"You're stupid, Caleb," Drew said as he grabbed his hat from the
floor. "I'm outta here."

"Drew, wai-"

But he was already out the door without another glance back. Someone had
summoned the nurse and I saw her enter the room carefully.

"You called?" she asked, while walking into the room. I was still staring
after Drew, who stormed away down the hall.

"I did," I heard Dante say, which made me look at him. "He needs to rest a
bit longer."

The nurse nodded and moved to my bed. I shook my head.

"No, I'm fine," I replied quickly. "Dante we still need to talk."

I pleaded to his back, but he didn't turn.

"Dante, please," I begged as I felt a slow trickle of numbing ease spread
throughout my body.

He turned then and looked at me. His hazel eyes were sad little gems. My
hands relaxed slowly and my jaw went slack with relief. I turned to the
nurse who was slowly administering the pain killer.

"Wait, please," I whispered sleepily. "I need to say something."

She stared at me in apology, "I already used half of the syringe."

"Okay, that's enough time, just stop for now," I slurred back a bit. She
nodded and stepped away from the IV.

It got quiet after that, and I silently stared at Dante, trying to figure
out what to say. The nurse had quietly excused herself and Dante moved to
my bed. He sat on the edge near my waist and stared back at me.

"Caleb," he said shakily and grabbed my hand, "how long?"

I blinked and stared at our hands, before sighing, "A little under a year,
maybe after high school."

His head fell and he ran his free hand through his hair. I reached over and
patted his shoulder, which was hard and firm under my touch. He grabbed my
hand quickly and brought it up to his cheek. I watched as it grazed over
his jaw, where he brought it up to his nose and inhaled deeply.

"Isn't there another way?" he asked desperately, his eyes closed.

"None that I can see," I replied calmly. He slowly opened his eyes and held
my gaze.

"What if I pay for it," he said with conviction. "I'll pay for all the
treatments you need. Whatever the cost. I have tons of money. Please, let
me do this for you, love."

I smiled, feeling a lump in my already swollen throat.

"It's too late," I whispered and grabbed his face.

"No," he moaned quietly, "don't say that. You have options."

"The only options I have are to live my life as long as I can or draw out
my death slowly and painfully."

I still held his head, which was cast down in despair. I watched as he
caressed my hands, softly memorizing the texture. I breathed deeply, trying
to remain conscious and started to talk.

"Dante, for years I've had to live with the choices my doctor's
make. . .the guy's that cut me open decided my life," I said, making him
look at me with his beautiful hazel eyes. My voice began to waver, "and I
had no choice when it came to my life with the doctor's."

"But now it's my turn to make the choices . . .my turn to take my life
back. . ." I whispered, feeling tears pool in my eyes. "I get to be like
everyone else for a little while longer, with you. I get to make my own
decisions. Have my own life. Do, whatever the hell I choose . . .with you."

"So you listen closely," I whispered with a smile. I locked eyes with him
and tightened my grip on his face.

"What I choose is you. You're who I want to wake up with . . .and go to bed
with . . .and do everything with. My heart beats and works only for you,
Dante."

He didn't say anything as I spoke.

"And I get a choice now," I continued feeling heady with this sudden
revelation. "I get to choose. And I choose you Dante Giordano. I choose
you."

I waited for a response, but none came. He slowly pulled out of my grasp
and stood up.

"I need a moment," he said distantly.

I stared at him in confusion, but he abruptly turned and walked out of the
room. I stared after him, my mind spinning in confusion. What does this
mean? I watched through the glass windows of my hospital room as he walked
down the hall; without as much as a glance back. My head fell without my
permission and I sighed sadly. The last thing I saw, before the darkness
enclosed me, was Dante walking away.

I caused all of this, I thought drowsily, before my eyelids closed.


				  ~*~

What have I done? What have I done? SHIT!! I'm so stupid, I thought as I
paced my room after getting home from school. I hadn't seen any sign of
Justin or Stacey throughout the day, which probably meant Caleb told
them. I ran my hand through my hair, slightly tugging at the roots. I
kicked my bean bag chair across the room in frustration.

I have to go back and tell him, I thought and started to walk to the
door. I stopped just before grabbing the doorknob. Wait, what if he doesn't
want to see me? What if Stacey and Justin are guarding his room? Of course
they would be. They were like his siblings.

"Damn it," I yelled and threw myself onto my bed. Suddenly I heard a soft
tap at my door.

"Dante? Are you okay?" I heard my dad ask through the door in a gruff
voice.

"I'm fine," I replied, my voice muffled by my mattress.

"Are you sure?" I heard him ask closer now, and turned my head to the
side. He was standing in my room.

He was a tall man with broad shoulders and a slight paunch above his
belt. He had jet black hair with a few greying strands near his ears. He
had a full handlebar moustache that suited him and made him look like a
dad. I rolled over on my side and looked at him. He sat down on my bed and
rested a hand on my shoulder.

"What's wrong son?" he asked concerned. I never saw him concerned
before. He was usually cold and distant, except during my games.

"I messed up dad," I said pathetically, "and I don't know what to do?"

"Oh," he said uncomfortably and loudly cleared his throat before suddenly
yelling, "Belle? Honey?"

"What?" I heard my mom say as she neared the door, "What is it Giovanni."

I groaned and turned onto my back, throwing my hands over my face. I didn't
need more confusion.

"Our son needs our help, apparently" he said still watching me as I
flinched at the word help.

I had always done things on my own. My parents were always too busy with
work or raising Dario to give me much advice on anything. I had always
learned to figure things out on my own. That's what they liked about me. I
was self-sufficient and determined when it came to a problem. So, to have
them here now, willing to offer advice was uncomfortable.

"Help with what? Dante?" she asked as she sat down on the bed, wiping her
hands on her apron.

"I think it's matters of the heart, dear," my dad said turning to address
her.

"Ohh," she said and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

She was wearing a pencil skirt and a black blouse that looked funny
underneath the flower print apron.

Her hair was pulled back into a light brown bun, stabbed through with a
pencil. Her hands fluttered to my leg and she lightly patted it. Her face
was beautiful. She didn't have a line anywhere, except when she
smiled. Which wasn't often. Her skin had an olive tone, and she wore pink
lipstick. She kept patting my leg as she spoke.

"Dante?" she asked her voice matched my father's. "Dante what's the
problem?"

"It's hard to explain," I replied still covering my face.

"Okay," she replied, "let's start with whom? Who is this problem
affecting?"

I knew what she was doing. She was using a marketing technique she
administered at her office.

I sighed and sat up. She smiled softly at me, but I just gave her a
grimace. I scooted to the wall and rested there for a while.

"Is it a girl, son?" my dad asked and made more room for my mom. She
scooted closer and clasped her hands in her lap.

"Not exactly," I said quietly, making them strain to hear.

"So it's not a matter of the heart, then?" my mom asked confused.

I groaned loudly, "You don't understand."

"We're trying honey, but it's hard to understand someone not willing to
talk," she said and scooted to the end of the bed sitting comfortably.

I had never seen her like this before. Usually she was all manners and
etiquette. I looked to my dad who was also in astonishment. She folded her
legs behind her and cleared her throat, ignoring our stares.

"What if we ask you questions and you answer yes or no," she suggested, and
looked to my father for support. He nodded and twitched his nose in
agreement.

"Sure," I replied and settled into the wall.

"Okay, so is the problem a girl?"

"No,"

"Okay," she said again with a nod, "is it school or sports?"

"No."

"Hmmm," she mused thoughtfully, "is it work?"

"No," I sighed involuntarily.

"Is it college?" she asked wide eyed. "Cuz, that's something to worry
about."

"No, mom," I replied. My head throbbed from confusion.

She frowned, "That's all I can think of. Giovanni?"

My dad didn't say anything right away and I looked up. He was watching me
perceptibly and his face was a statue of thought. He looked to my mom and
grabbed her hand. She smiled and accepted it willingly.

He turned back to me.

"I think I know what it is," he said addressing me. I stiffened in
response.

"You do?" I asked in disbelief, and he nodded before turning back to my
mom.

"Belle, can you go get Dario for us," he said calmly, "he needs to hear
this too."

She blinked in confusion, "Sure honey, but is it necessary?"

He just nodded. Her face became concerned immediately. She got up and left
the room calling out for Dario.

"You know dad?" I asked staring beseechingly into his eyes.

He nodded again, "It seems the only person you ever talk about is your
problem. Am I right?"

I swallowed. The only person I did talk about was Caleb. I told them about
Caleb's mom. Caleb's friends.

Caleb's favorite hobbies. Caleb's bond with Dario. Caleb's funny jokes. I
just didn't think it was that obvious.

My mom suddenly entered the room, Dario holding her hand. She sat on the
bed in the same position as before and reached for Dario. She pulled him on
the bed and placed him between her and my dad. He looked at me confused and
turned to my father. My dad just smiled and ruffled his hair. He smiled
back, but not fully.

"What's going on?" he asked looking to my mom. "Are we going to go see
Caleb?"

My mom smiled and softly touched his nose, "I think Caleb can wait a little
while longer. Your brother has something to tell us."

He frowned and crossed his arms, but turned to me. I looked at him briefly
before gazing at all of them one by one. My dad's face was set in
unexpected pride. My mom's face was bright and open with curiosity. Dario's
was clear and wide with anticipation.

"Mom, Dad, Dario," I said addressing all of them, "I have something to tell
you."

My dad nodded in encouragement and my mom saw, giving him a confused look.

Eventually, they all looked to me with their undivided attention, staring
at me with support and curiosity. I breathed heavily and spoke.

"I'm in love with someone, someone important to me," I said confidently and
felt a sudden surge of joy after saying it out loud. "I'm in love with
Caleb."

The sentence hung in the air. My mom exhaled loudly and fanned herself. I
looked to her expecting fear and disapproval, but she was smiling with
relief.

"Jesus, Dante," she said breathing fast, "that took forever. For a minute
there I thought you were talking about Amber."

My dad laughed and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently.

"I thought I was wrong too," he said with a shaky breath and ruffled
Dario's hair again. "I was afraid we were going to have to like her."

I stared at them in disbelief. They knew the whole time and didn't let me
know. I knew it was dumb to be mad at them, but that would have made my
whole life a lot simpler. They turned to look at me and smiled. I didn't
notice my mouth was open in shock until my mom gently pushed it up.

"Was that all?" she asked, still smiling. "You thought we would judge you?"

I blinked and shook my head, "How did you know?"

She sucked in a quick breath and blew out slowly, "Well since the first day
of school actually. When you came home telling us about a kid that treated
you as an equal. Then you told us the student's name, after you came back
from work one day."

She turned as my dad chimed in, "Or how bout when he blushed when Dario
mentioned he brought Caleb over, remember that honey?"

She laughed, "I do indeed. That was the first time I had seen him blush,
before."

I turned and looked away, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"Aw, son we were only kidding," my dad said and clapped me on the
back. "Your mother and I were like that back in the day."

I turned and looked at both of them, "You guys really accept this?"

"Oh, Dante," my mother said and scooted over to hug me. "We've been so
distant the past eight years, no wonder you were scared to tell us."

"Of course we accept you son," my dad said and clapped me on the shoulder
again. "We're family first and business executives second."

I smiled brilliantly. Dario moved for the first time.

"Does that mean we get to see Caleb now?" he asked jumping into my lap.

My smile disappeared and I scratched his head. My mom pulled away and
looked at my expression. She exchanged a look with my dad, before patting
Dario on the head too.

"You said there was a problem?" she asked. "I'm gonna assume it's about
Caleb."

I nodded sadly and held Dario a little closer. My dad moved to sit next to
me and glanced at my mom.

She followed suit and made herself comfortable on the other side of me too.

"What is it Dante?" my dad asked placing a hand on my knee. "Is everything
alright?"

I shook my head, feeling empty inside. I had never cried before, and
couldn't produce tears now. My eyes remained clear and empty. I had always
thought that this was a strong quality for me, but right now wished I
could. Just to get some relief from the pain.

"Caleb is...is..." I tried to finish but couldn't. I squeezed Dario a
little more tightly.

"Caleb is what, honey?" my mom asked rubbing my arm.

"Caleb is dying," I whispered unable to hold it in any longer. "He's dying
and he's all alone and it's my fault. He told me he loved me, but I walked
away. . ."

My voice broke at the end and I buried my face into Dario's neck. I heard
my mom take in a sharp breath. My dad was silent next to me. I looked up
from Dario's neck and saw my parents. My mom had a small hand over her
mouth and her eyes swam with tears. She watched me silently as I held Dario
tightly.

I turned to my dad. He wore a silent mask of shock. He had glassy eyes too,
but he gruffly cleared his throat and threw his arm around my shoulder. I
rested my head on his arm and sighed heavily. My chest contracted with
pain. Out of nowhere Dario spoke.

His voice was squeaky and pained, "Caleb's dying?"

I immediately sat up and looked at my little brother, "No, no. Caleb's
fine, kiddo. Don't worry."

He looked up at me with a pain stricken face, "But you said he was
dying. He promised-he promised he would beat the high score."

I breathed out a heavy breath and pulled him into my side as he started to
cry.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry buddy," I whispered into his hair.

My mom wrapped her arms around us and held on like we would float away. My
dad followed suit and pulled us all into his big arms. Dario was silent in
grief. I flicked his nose, trying to make him smile, but he just looked
away. My mom softly rubbed his cheeks. He moved and squirmed into her lap.

Finally my dad spoke, "So what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be
on your way to the hospital right now?"

I looked up in shock and saw him smiling hugely. I grinned back. He
playfully swatted my head.

"Go you idiot, fix what you did," he said and chuckled.

I laughed and stood up, "Really?"

"Yeah, besides, I've always hated that Amber girl," he replied.

I began to move about the room getting my shoes on and fixing my shirt. My
dad slid across the bed and pulled my mom and Dario into his side. She
patted his belly and laid her head on his chest. Dario was watching me rush
around the room, trying to get dressed.

"Yeah, she had the most annoying laugh," My mom said before my dad could
answer, "and she didn't know anything."

I laughed and tied my shoes, "She was pretty, though."

"She was very beautiful," my dad agreed and my mom slapped his belly. "But
beauty isn't everything."

She smiled and turned back to me, "I'm just glad Caleb has some culture
from what you told me."

I stopped in the middle of the room, "He does. And he's vastly smart. He's
very witty too. I know you guys will love him."

They smiled proudly as I spoke of Caleb.

"He's got this way of going off someplace, where you want to join him," I
continued, "but at the same time, you want him to just enjoy it by
himself. Oh, and he also has a passion for cooking, dad."

My dad brightened at the mention of cooking.

"Really?" he asked in astonishment. "I like this Caleb, more and more."

Just then Dario pitched in, "He's amazing dad. He's freakin' funny. His
jokes are silly, but I understand them. And he doesn't make me feel like a
little kid, like Amber did. He talks to me like a grown up."

He beamed with pride as he spoke of Caleb, which only made me want to see
him more. I quickly finished fixing my hair and grabbed my keys. I turned
and stood in front of them.

"How do I look?" I asked breathlessly.

"From what I can gather about Caleb," my mom said running her hands through
Dario's hair, "he won't care what you look like, as long as you showed up."

I smiled widely and ran to the bed, surprising her. I pulled her into a hug
and kissed her on the cheek.

She blushed in shock and patted me on the cheek.

"Wow, I like this new Dante," my dad said as I ruffled Dario's hair.

"Indeed," my mom replied still shocked, "we must meet Caleb if he has this
much effect on our son."

I didn't comment and bounded to the door. But before I left, Dario yelled
to me.

"If you hurt Caleb, I'll hurt you back," he yelled making my mom and dad
laugh.

I smiled too and ran out of the house.


				~*~

I awoke again to the sound of that annoying beeping, which was also
accompanied by the sound of noisy plastic wrappers. I slowly opened my eyes
and glanced around, taking into account the sudden dimness in the room. The
sun was gone, but was replaced with artificial lighting from the ceiling. I
smelt the distinct smell of warm-up burritos and Twinkies, which made my
mouth water. I licked my lips and tried to sit up.

The restricting wires were gone, which I quickly noticed. I also noticed
Drew and Dante were gone too.

My heart fell, but for who, I couldn't tell. I did miss Dario though. I
glanced at my hand and noticed it was clamped around the game. There was a
sticky note attached to it. The writing was small and scribbly, but I
understood it clearly:
			Get Well Soon, Caleb I smiled, and peeled the note
off. I heard the shifting in seats as my family saw me awake. I glanced up
from the note and looked at them. They were all sitting on the couch
eating, as I guessed it: warm-up burritos and Twinkies. I laughed as they
were all in mid-bite. Stacey and Justin smiled back and set their food
aside. My mom smiled too, but her face was haggard with exhaustion and she
looked like she was about to fall over.

"Hey," I said hoarsely. "Any left for me?"

"You can have mine," my mom said, getting up and walking over to my
bed. "I'm not hungry anyway."

I shook my head, which only made me dizzy, "No, I was kidding."

She placed it in my hand, "Eat it. You haven't eaten in a couple days."

I took a bite and looked up in alarm, "A couple of days? How long was I
out?"

"Today's Tuesday, honey," she replied patting my hand. "You've been
unconscious for two days, counting yesterday when you woke up."

I swallowed the burrito loudly. I could hear Stacey and Justin get up and
move to my bed. Stacey came and laid down on the bed next to me, while
Justin carefully sat on the end near my feet. My mom smiled warmly at them.

"That long?" I whispered finally.

"Caleb, you had a pretty serious seizure," my mom replied
quietly. "Dr. Cater had you on immune efficiency medication, which staved
off the cancer side-effects."

I stared at the empty IV's and missing tubes.

"Why don't I have them now?" I asked.

"Well Dr. Cater thought you'd want to go back to school," she replied
confusedly. "He will prescribe you some more medicine for home though."

"Oh, the school," I groaned. "What about the school? Do they know?"

"They don't know everything," she said sadly. "But they know it's
serious. I'm sorry honey."

"I'm sorry, Cale," Stacey said for the first time, and laid her head on my
shoulder. I groaned again and rested my head on hers.

"Sorry, buddy," Justin replied patting my leg.

"What about the students? What do they know?"

"Nothing," he replied solemnly. "We asked the school to keep quiet."

I groaned again, "Dante? . . . Drew?"

"Maybe we should tell you when you have your strength back," Stacey
suggested and sat up looking me in the eyes.

"Just tell me Stace," I whispered and closed my eyes.

"Well they were both pretty upset, but Dante had to rein it in for Dario,"
she said, pausing for a while.

"But after that day, neither of them has been back. We hardly see them in
school, too."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Dario came and visited," she added as an afterthought. "Afterschool. He
keeps asking if you beat the high score yet."

She laughed, "That kid is really cute."

I smiled despite myself, "Yeah he is."

My mind kept on going back to Drew and Dante. I could understand where
their anger came from, but to directly ignore me. I just wanted everyone to
empathize with my situation. This was my choice and my life. But then I
felt guilty. I was being selfish and arrogant. My heart knew I was wrong to
demand this from everyone, but my head told me I was right.

I quickly tried to put my mind at ease, before they noticed my
anxiety. They didn't need to see any of my pain. I needed to be strong like
I was when I found out I was dying. I had accomplished somewhat of a
peaceful state and looked up, attempting to smile. I brushed a few strands
of hair from my eyes and glanced up at them. They each had a mask of
concern on their faces. I was prepared to say something witty and funny,
but instead broke down in tears.

So much for being strong.

Stacey and Justin immediately came to my side. Stacey curled up next to me
and held me, while Justin gently patted my back. Both of them made quiet
soothing sounds, while I tried to cry myself out. My mom moved to my bed
and took out a syringe.

I turned quickly and peered through my tears, "No! Mom, I'm fine."

"I'm sorry, Cale," she replied and inserted the needle into my arm, "but
this is all too much for you. You need to sleep a while longer."

"Please," I pleaded, slowly feeling the medicine seep through my
veins. "Please."

"Sorry honey," she whispered, before stepping back from my outstretched
hand.

"Don't worry. Dante and Drew won't bother you anymore," I suddenly heard
Justin say out loud.

I looked at him feebly before Stacey spoke, "Cale, go to sleep. They're a
bunch of jerks. Just sleep, please."

I tried to nod and tell them I was fine, but the blackness soon consumed my
whole vision, pulling me under.


				~*~

The hospital was fairly empty when I ran through the sliding doors. Nurses
and doctors moved about, not paying attention to my all-out sprint down the
hall. I ran up the stairs, not bothering to use the elevator. I ran until I
reached level three, where they held Caleb for observation. I was winded by
the time I got to the door, but yanked it open and kept running still.

I slowed to a jog as I rounded the corner, entering the corridor that held
Caleb's room. My heart was pounding fast. I tried to slow it down, but it
was running on my adrenaline. I felt butterflies in my stomach and my head
was light with excitement. I'm going to see him, I kept thinking as I
walked down the hall in excitement.

Suddenly two figures emerged from the corner and blocked my way. It was
Justin and Stacey. They both had their arms crossed and were standing
shoulder to shoulder. I peered around them in annoyance.

Justin was wearing a tight fitted graphic t-shirt that tapered to his
waist. His long brown hair was pulled back from his face, showing his hard
features.

Stacey was wearing a billowing skirt and tight fitted corset. The whole
outfit made her look voluptuous and beautiful. Her long black hair spilled
down her shoulders, framing her porcelain face. Both of their faces were
set in disapproval. But I didn't have time for this.

"Can I see Caleb?" I asked trying to peer around them. They moved to block
my view.

"Dante," Justin said speaking first, "I always thought you were cool. And I
thought you'd be good for Caleb, but now I can see you're a jerk just like
Drew."

"It's not like that, if you'd just let me explain," I said trying to reason
with them.

"Explain what?" he asked coldly. "How you and Drew keep breaking Caleb's
heart. You don't know how much Caleb has sacrificed for all of
us. Especially you and Drew. So no, I can't see any explanation covering
that."

I turned to Stacey, who always seemed to like me, "Stace?"

Her face wavered and looked at Justin. He shook his head and her face
hardened.

"Caleb doesn't need this right now, Dante," she said apologetically.

"You have to understand," I pleaded trying to get through to them, "Caleb
means everything to me. I didn't come all this way, just to be turned away
right now."

"No, you don't understand," she said back harshly, "Caleb is more than just
our friend. He's our brother.

Our family. He's been through enough already, and you're just adding more
to his pain."

I huffed in frustration and paced the hallway. They watched me to see if
this was a ploy. I ran my hands through my hair in irritation, before
turning on them.

"You know," I said staring at the floor trying to think of a good
explanation, "I'm a pretty handsome guy.

Not in a certain angle, special lighting, particular point of view
handsome. But in an obvious way handsome. Where people always say, 'you're
hot' or 'you're handsome'."

Justin shifted his weight, "What ar-"

I stopped him by holding up a hand and continuing, "It's the whole chiseled
abs and rugged good looks thing. That's what everyone admires. And for a
long time, I was used to it."

I looked back at the floor, "I never hated it, but I was used to it. It was
just a proven fact. I was handsome. But then Caleb showed up and it all
changed. I wasn't smart or interesting like him." I smiled as I said this,
"I was just handsome. To everyone.  But Caleb," I paused, "Caleb never saw
me just as that.

I wasn't just another handsome guy to him. . . He doesn't make me feel like
another handsome guy."

I looked up and smiled at them. They both eased out of their stance. Justin
relaxed with his arms crossed and Stacey leaned against the opposite wall.

"He makes me feel . . ." I paused and stared at both of them, ". . .like
me. Like Dante Giordano. The quintessential jock, who fell for the quirky
cute boy. The boy who makes me feel like I can do anything as long as he's
there next to me."

I laughed out loud as I said this.

"And I think he's right for me. And I can't feel anything but happy," I
grinned with happiness, despite their previous hostility. I felt buoyant
with joy. "And there's nothing you can say or do, to stop me from going in
there and telling the boy I fell for that I love him. And that I will be
there for him, no matter what."

Justin was still standing in the middle of the hallway, arms crossed. He
looked to Stacey. Her eyes were obsidian pools of beauty. I knew I could
go. I walked around them and was just about to make it past the corner,
when a hand reached out to my shoulder. It was Justin. Stacey was standing
next to him.

"Don't you dare hurt him," he said with anger. "Or I will kick your ass."

I nodded firmly and looked to Stacey who was silently smiling.

"Please, don't hurt him again," she said somberly.

"I won't. I promise," I said and smiled at her. Justin clapped me on the
shoulder and pushed me to Caleb's room. I let him guide me willingly and
walked to the room.


				~*~

I woke up and peered around the room. The cries still rang in my head. I
had been dreaming of my dad.

Before he had died, when life was a lot less complicated.

We were outside with my mom, lying in the sun. He never got to go outside,
and that was a rare occurrence. My mom was all bright and bubbly with
happiness. That was a good day for him and me. I always had more good days
than him, but he told me it was because an angel watched over me. That idea
always made me smile.

The sun was bright in our yard providing the best day to lie in the
grass. Hot sun streamed heavily on my back. The thin book I held, comforted
me in the bright patch of sunlight. I read silently as my mom and dad
teased each other quietly. I was always happy to see them like that. My
dad's light brown hair blew in the wind. His glasses were always sliding
down his nose. His wiry body was lying on a large blanket next to my
mom. Their hands were intertwined and every few minutes I heard his loud
throaty laugh.

I smiled at his joyful mood. I remembered wishing that day would last
forever.

My dad turned to me and smiled.

"Whatcha reading Cale?" he asked making my mom turn too.

I held up the book, "The Great Gatsby."

He laughed and rested his chin on his elbows, "You're always reading that
book."

"Oh, honey leave him alone," my mom said and patted his arm, "Cale you
hungry, honey?"

I looked up from my book, "Yeah for animal pancakes, huh, dad?"

He laughed again, "Yeah, animal pancakes. Today's a good day."

"You two and your darn animal pancakes," my mom said shaking her head as
she strolled inside.

He laughed and called out to her, "I want six!"

I yelled too, "Four, please!"

My dad turned and smiled at me, before suddenly coughing loudly. I looked
up in alarm. No, today was supposed to be a good day, I thought as my dad
pulled his hand away from his mouth. He still smiled as he wiped the blood
from his hand on the grass. He turned and looked at me, waving away my
concern.

"Dad," I asked, closing my book, "why doesn't an angel watch over you?"

He chuckled and crawled over grabbing my hand, "Cuz I told her to watch
over you. And cuz I don't need her anymore. . . You do."

I frowned, "Can't we share?"

He smiled and rubbed my hand, "I don't need one, son. . . . But you know
what?"

"What?" I asked curiously.

"I'll be your angel too, someday," he said playfully and made his arms into
wings.

I laughed, "You liar. You're my dad not an angel."

"No seriously," he said with a twinkle in his eye, "always and forever
son."

I smiled and made myself wings too.

"What if I'm your angel someday?" I asked flapping my arms, trying to be
graceful.

His face suddenly became serious, "No, Cale. You can never be my angel. You
hear me?"

I stopped mid-wave and looked at him in surprise. His face was rigid with
fear and stress. I tried to see if he was joking, but saw no hints of
amusement in his eyes.

"You hear me?" he asked again, before coughing into his hand. This time it
was labored and more blood was in his hands.

"Dad?" I asked in alarm. "Dad are you okay?"

He waved his hand dismissively, but I could tell it took some effort. He
started to shake with the coughs, making me crawl to his side.

"Dad?!?" I cried in pain, before turning to the house and yelling, "Mom!!
Help!!"

He crumbled on the blanket and started to shake violently. His eyes rolled
back into his head and his tongue lolled out. I screamed for him again and
grabbed his hand. I tried to think of something to do, like my mom would,
but couldn't.

"Dad!! Dad!!" I cried holding his head as his body started to slow. I
screamed at him trying to keep him from sleeping.

"Steven!!!" I heard my mom yell from the house. "Steven, no!!!"

"Take the angel," I whispered into my dad's ear as he stopped
moving. "Please take it. I don't need it anymore."

My mom quickly came to my side and pulled me away. She started CPR and
continued to beat his heart.

I could hear the distant sounds of ambulance's coming, but I already knew
it was too late. That was my dad's last good day.

My mind slowly took in the hospital room. I looked around at the loosely
placed chairs and the empty burrito wrappers. My mom was checking my
monitors and reading my charts. I could hear Stacey's and Justin's voice
down the hall talking to someone, but turned to my mom instead.

"Mom," I said as she looked up from my charts.

"Hmm?" she asked as she held the paper up from the clipboard.

"Did dad ever tell you about my guardian angel?" I asked, feeling dumb for
asking.

She smiled and looked up from her clipboard, "He did actually, but not any
random angel. He said he would be our personal angel."

I smiled back feeling a wave of sadness.

"I suppose he knew he was going to die someday," she replied and moved to
sit on my bed. "That's why he told me he was our guardian angel."

She looked at me, "Why do you ask?"

I looked down at my hand, "I just had a dream that's all."

Her face shifted gravely, "Caleb, what's bugging you?"

I looked up in surprise, "Nothing, I'm fine. Just sad about Dante you
know."

She nodded, "I understand, but you have to give him time to accept your
decision."

I nodded too. She patted my hand and stood back up. She looked away and
randomly shuffled the papers. I stared out the doorway, not wanting her to
see me cry. Suddenly someone flashed past the blinds and walked into the
room. My mom turned at their appearance.

It was Dante. He looked flushed and hectic with adrenaline, like he had
been running. I looked up at him.

He stared at me and smiled widely.

"Caleb!" he exclaimed in satisfaction. He walked to my bed but my mom
blocked any further access.

"Visiting hours are over Mr. Giordano," she said placing her hands on her
hips. "Come back when you're not about to hurt my son."

"I can't Mrs. Pierce," he said still looking at me, "because it's my turn
to talk."

"Hold on mom," I whispered, but she still kept him from coming in. Dante
was still breathing hard.

"I love you, Caleb," he exclaimed still standing in the doorway. "I love
you. And I never wanted to break your heart. I was just overwhelmed and I
know I said a lot of things, but I hope it's not too late to take them
back."

I shook my head, "It's not too late."

His grin widened, "I'm stronger now, Caleb. I feel stronger because of
you. You've had my heart, since the first time I met you and I can't get
you out of my head. I think about you in the morning, cuz that's where my
thoughts always go. And I can't wait until the evening, cuz that's when I
want to see your beautiful brown eyes."

"So, when you took my heart, you took everything with you," he said with
conviction. "I know I can get through this, if you are the one right next
to me. I can't go back to my old life. Not without you. It just doesn't
hold the same interest if you're not there. Caleb, that's how strong my
love is."

He tried to walk to my bed, but my mom placed a hand on his arm.

"I will call security on you," she said calmly. I smiled and so did Dante.

"Okay," he said exasperated and locked eyes with me, "I'll come back during
visiting hours, with flowers, I promise."

I grinned widely at him. He grinned back crookedly and looked at my mom. He
pulled her into a big hug and twirled her around, trying to get past her,
but she was quick. She grabbed him and spun him toward the door. He
chuckled, before looking back at me.

"I love you," he said once more before jogging out of the room happily. I
laughed and watched as he jumped up and down throughout the hallway. He
turned and waved back, before disappearing around the corner. My mom
humpfed in dissatisfaction.

"Crazy kid," she mumbled and opened her charts again.

"Be kind to him, mom, he loves me" I said kindly, still staring down the
hall, before turning back to look at my mom. "Everyone deserves that once
in a lifetime."

I smiled unwillingly and patted my bed sheets.

"I'm loved," I continued, my voice shaking as I stared at the open
door. "I've been loved."

I turned to smile at my mom. She smiled back and patted my cheek.

"You've always been loved, Caleb," she replied warmly. "You've just never
accepted it until now."

I wiped my runny nose and laughed at my chaotic emotions.

"I suppose your right," I said, wiping away a few tears.

I turned then and looked at her, "So when can I leave?"

Her smile never wavered, but her eyes tightened a little. My smile softly
began to disappear.

"Mom?" I asked fearfully.

"Dr. Cater needs to talk to you, first," she replied shakily. "Caleb, I'm
afraid it only gets worse from here."

Tears pooled her own eyes, but she strengthened her control and reached for
her pager. She silently inserted a number and sent it. Quietly she looked
back up and smiled at me.

"He's on his way," she said somberly. "He wanted to talk to you alone."

"Do you know what it's about?" I asked quietly and waited for a
response. She nodded soundlessly.

"It's about the cancer and the stage you've reached," she replied. "I
thought it would sound better coming from him."

I nodded in understanding. If my mom told me this, it would just be another
straw on her already burdened back. I sighed and waited patiently for the
doctor. Finally a few minutes later he arrived, but he wasn't alone. Josh
the nurse stood alongside him, pushing a wheelchair. Dr. Cater looked to my
mom and gestured her outside. She nodded and followed.

Josh silently pushed the wheelchair next my bed. His hair was no longer
matted to his forehead; it was pushed back away from his face. His scrubs
hugged his broad shoulders. He had a somber expression on his face, but
plastered on a smile to greet me.

"Hey there patient x," he said, putting the brakes on the wheelchair. I
rolled my eyes.

"So you've heard?" I asked evenly. He plopped into the wheelchair and
looked at me, his bright green eyes flashed with intelligence.

"Yeah, I've heard. I think you're pretty stupid for doing this," he said as
he cleaned his fingernails with his teeth. He chewed on a nail before
loudly spitting it out.

"Isn't that unsanitary?" I asked in disgust. He smiled and leaned forward,
his elbows resting on his thighs.

"Don't worry, cutie, I wash my hands," he replied with a wink. I ignored
his 'cutie' remark and looked away. Softly he spoke to me, "Listen, can you
forgive me for being a total ass last time?"

I turned then and looked at him, "Don't worry about it."

"Please I feel guilty," he replied sincerely and pulled a muffin from
behind his back and offered it. My stomach growled in response.

"I'm fine don't worry about it," I replied, not really wanting to take it
from him.

"Please just take it," he pressed. I hesitated but my hungry stomach won
over.

"Okay," I said with a growling belly. "I am starving."

I took a large bite and chewed softly. I was expecting a soft, spongy
texture, but instead tasted tart, hard grain. I immediately spit it out.

"Ugh, that's disgusting," I exclaimed, scraping my tongue off with my palm.

He smiled, "I know. I wouldn't eat that if you offered it to me. Hospital
food stinks."

I punched him in the arm, "Jerk."

He just grinned and swatted my wrist away. Just then Dr. Cater and my mom
came back into the room.

Both wore the same melancholy expressions. I straightened up and turned my
attention to them. Dr.

Cater merely nodded to my mom and she quietly departed. I stared after her.

"Mom?" I asked in alarm, she didn't turn back but continued down the
hallway. I turned to Dr. Cater and glared at him. "What's going on?"

"Caleb, your condition has accelerated farther than we have expected," he
replied with the same somber expression. "Now, what we're going to do is
show you something that will hopefully change your mind, before it's too
late. Joshua?"

Dr. Cater turned to Josh and gestured him toward me. Josh instantly reached
for me and hoisted me out of my bed. I gasped in shock and pulled away from
his grasp.

"Hey!" I exclaimed in annoyance as he sat me down into the
wheelchair. Gradually he released me, leaving me to calm down. "Dr. Cater
what is this?"

"I'm sorry Caleb, but your mom gave us full permission to . . . educate
. . . . you on your illness," he replied and stepped forward to stare down
at me. "The wheelchair is mandatory for all patients in the hospital, it's
just a formality. But Nurse Joshua has been assigned to show you the weight
of your decision. Joshua."

Immediately Josh began to push me from the room. Dr. Cater remained behind
and watched as we strolled down the hallway to another wing. I crossed my
arms in disapproval and pouted quietly.

"It's for the best, Caleb," Josh said trying to break my mood. "You need to
understand the ramifications and seriousness of you condition."

I huffed in exasperation, "I do understand the importance of my cancer. I'm
living with it remember?"

He sighed, "Well you don't act like it."

His words stung me and I had no comeback. Silently he wheeled me down to
the elevators. We moved to the small compartment and wheeled me inside. He
pushed button 2 and watched as the doors closed. He leaned back into the
paneling and hummed quietly.

"Where are we going?" I asked in abrupt annoyance. "I hope it's to the
cafeteria. That muffin you gave me made me hungry."

That made him laugh, his smile instantly appeared. His green eyes sparkled
with amusement. I just stared at him expectantly.

"Well?" I asked still staring at him. He just shook his head as the
elevator dinged.

"Why are you always hungry?" he asked as he pushed me through the doors. A
nurse and patient passed as we departed the small elevator. The nurse
smiled warmly at him. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know," I replied, my stomach growled quietly. "I think its high
metabolism, like Shaggy and Scooby."

Again he laughed, but I ignored him. We continued our travel to a whole new
wing that smelled of medicine and clean sheets. He wheeled me past rooms
with patients who were hooked up to IV's and looked pale with their
illnesses. I shuddered involuntarily. That was the reason I hated hospitals
and refused treatments.

Silently he wheeled me into a large room where beds lined both sides of the
walls. I stared up at him in confusion, but he just gestured to the
beds. At first glance I saw nothing, but if I stretched my neck a bit, I
saw little children. I gasped quietly. They were all hooked up to IV's and
heart monitoring machines.

Their eyes took me in and they smiled when they saw Josh. He moved from my
wheelchair and approached a small girl with a beautiful scarf wrapped
around her head.

"Hey, Jenny, my little angel," he exclaimed warmly and high-fived her
delicate hand. "How you doing today?"

She giggled and sat up. Her eyes were grey and bright. She smiled with
small little teeth. She was adorable, even though her face was gaunt and
shadowed.

"Today's a good day," she replied in a soft bubbly voice, her smile
brightening even more. "My dad is coming to visit with my mom, there
bringing me chocolate chip ice cream."

"Is that so," Josh replied kindly and tapped her nose, making her
giggle. My heart tightened at the sound. He turned to look at me. "Jenny,
I'd like you to meet someone."

Silently he gestured to me. I gently began to wheel my chair forward. I
stopped at the edge of the bed and stared up at the round face of the
little girl. Justin introduced us.

"Jenny, this is my good friend, Caleb," he said gesturing to me, then back
to her. "Caleb, this is Jenny the angel of the hospital."

I smiled, "Hi, Jenny. It's nice to meet you."

She smiled back, her small teeth showing like a puppies. She waved her
small hand.

"Hi, Caleb," she replied. "Nurse Josh talks about you sometimes. He said
Nurse Trudy's your mom."

I chuckled and stared at Josh. He shrugged and walked to another patient.

"Yeah, she is," I replied and looked back at her. "So, you know my mom?"

"Oh, yes," she replied excitedly. "She comes to read to us kids sometimes,
when she's not busy. She always tells us that her son is too old for
fairytales."

I laughed, "She said that?"

"Mmm, hmm," she replied and scratched her nose. "All the kids like her, cuz
she has a nice storytelling voice."

"Kids?" I asked suddenly noticing there was more than one kid. She nodded
and pointed around the room.

I turned then and looked around me. There were six beds, each filled with a
small child. Each one looked just like Jenny. My heart instantly swelled
with grief. Tears stung the back of my eyes. I turned back to Jenny and
noticed she was watching me. I instantly cleared my expression and smiled
at her.

She still stared at me calmly. I turned from her intelligent eyes and
watched as Josh went to each bed, checking its charts and its patients. The
three beds across from Jenny's had two boys and a small girl, each had
something occupying their time. The two boys were sharing a video game
console, playing a game I couldn't see. The small girl was quietly staring
at a doll, trying to choose the right clothes for it.

The two beds surrounding Jenny were both boys. One was talking to Josh and
the other was silently sleeping, or at least I hope he was. Quietly my
attention turned back to Jenny.

"So, all of you have cancer?" I asked bluntly, my face open and
questioning.

She nodded, "Yupp, I have some cancer I can't say right, but it hurts my
heart a lot. Lily gets headaches a lot. And Jimmy and Seth have something
that hurts their chests. I don't remember the rest, but we all have
cancer."

I listened in awe. This girl was smart and honest. I admired her bravery
more than mine in that moment.

Soundlessly she turned back to look at me.

"You're sick too aren't you?" she asked her eyes wide and knowing. She
waited patiently for an answer.

Calmly I nodded, "Its terminal."

Her small head cocked to the side, "What's that?"

I shook my head of the thoughts and smiled at her.

"That's a pretty scarf you have there," I replied, avoiding the question.

She brightened at the mention of her scarf. I felt relief at the change of
topics.

"Oh, my mom got it for me at local market," she replied excitedly and
touched the soft texture. "The lady selling it said something about it
bringing good luck or hope. I don't remember, but I like the patterns."

She pulled the end and twirled it around in her small hands. It was truly
beautiful. It was red, with an array of colorful symbols and drawings all
over it. Her hands never stopped twirling the fabric, but she looked up at
me.

"It helps me on my good days," she replied still twirling the scarf. "I
don't get them that much and when I do, I like to touch my scarf."

I smiled at her and patted her little leg.

"You'll have a lot more good days, I know it," I replied, my voice thick
with tears. She smiled back and turned abruptly. Josh stood behind her bed
and watched as I talked to Jenny.

"Did Caleb tell you about the muffin I gave him earlier?" he asked eyeing
me somberly, but smiled for Jenny.

She turned to look at me with amusement. I smiled and leaned back into my
chair.

"No," she replied interested. "Why what happened?"

Josh smiled and sat on her bed. He gradually began to tell what
happened. He told her about our fight, but left out the flirting
parts. Pleasantly the whole room began to listen to Josh's story and soon
all the children were laughing at my reaction in the story. I laughed with
them and listened as Josh moved on to a different story. He told them about
a crazy old man that came in to the hospital over the week. The kids
laughed as he got up from the bed and acted out the old man's actions.

Apparently the old man was senile with old age and thought the hospital
staff was out to get him. Josh told of the old man's antics and running
around the hospital. The kids were all giggling at the story and so was
I. Josh was really comfortable with the kids and it made his casual
arrogance almost non-existent.

Eventually a few parents showed up taking the kids attention back. Josh
finished his check ups and said good-bye to his little audience.

Jenny's parents showed up with a small tub of ice cream, which made me
smile. Gradually I left her bed and got out of her parents way. Josh caught
up to me at the door and turned me to the entrance.

Suddenly all the kids erupted in good byes.

"Bye, Nurse Josh," each one exclaimed happily.

I heard one small bubbly voice out of all them say, "Bye Caleb."

I turned and waved to Jenny who had a ring of ice cream already around her
mouth. She waved back with her spoon, making her parents look. They smiled
at me as Josh wheeled me through the door. I settled back into my chair and
reflected silently. Josh pushed me to the elevators and remained silent
until we got into the small compartment.

"So what do you, think?" he asked, trying to sound uninterested.

I looked up at him as he rested against the wall arms crossed.

"Those kids are precious, they have a bright future," I replied warmly. His
eyes tightened when I mentioned future.

"You could have one too," he replied sternly, suddenly hitting the
emergency brake button. The elevator stopped at once. "Trudy's right, you
are stubborn. Don't you understand the importance of your decision? Those
kids are fighting! There fighting for their lives and you just gave up!"

His face flushed with anger. I stared back just as angry.

"Don't you think I know that?" I screamed. "Yes! I gave up! But there's no
other option! Those kids have many options ahead of them! With the right
donor or transplant they can have a full and happy life!"

I sighed suddenly feeling tired, "I have a terminal cancer. Even if I
fight, it will only delay the inevitable. I will always be fighting. Those
kids can be fixed. But me. I'm broken goods. There's no easy fix. Its
medicine, treatments, continuous hospital visits, and radiation therapy. I
will be bound to this hospital forever. If I choose to fight, I will fight
forever. I wish there was a way to fix my illness, but it's too late.

Either way I'm dead."

I got up from my wheelchair and slammed the elevator brake button down
roughly. The elevator hummed to life and instantly began to move. The
compartment binged after a while and immediately I departed without looking
back. I didn't even know where I got off, but I needed to get away. I was
tired of fighting. I was just tired and hungry. Josh didn't follow or call
after me, but I didn't care.

I walked down an empty hallway, away from the elevators and found a small
conference room. It was empty and had a large oval table in the middle
surrounded by swivel chairs. I quietly entered and searched for anything
edible. I found a small refrigerator that was filled with water bottles,
yogurt, and fruit cups. I grabbed a handful of each and sat at the
table. The swivel chairs were comfortable and had mesh lining. I sat
silently and began to eat my stolen food.

The conference room was dark, and quiet, but provided the perfect time to
reflect. I knew my mom had put Josh and Dr. Cater up to the whole scare
tactic, but I couldn't find any reason to be mad at her. Her intentions
were well placed, but I wished she would have come to me about it.

Instantly I felt guilty.

She wouldn't come to a stubborn teenager about trying to change their
decisions. I made my own bed with my mother and I discovered her feelings
of unease with me. I sighed and scooped a spoonful of yogurt into my mouth.

Food always made me feel better, but never really stuck to my thin frame. I
opened the third packet of yogurt and quietly began to slurp out its
contents. My thoughts carried me back to my mom.

We always had an open relationship full of trust and honesty. But lately
she had been aloof and distant.

Thoughts of Justin's words still rang in my head. If my mom and Stacey
cried, why didn't they just tell me? I told my mom to confide in me, when
she was down. I sighed again and gulped down half a bottle of water.

My life was a mess.

Especially my love life. Ugh, my love life. The Dante, Drew, love triangle,
cupid made especially for me. I sighed yet again and downed a whole fruit
cup in one mouthful. My stomach said full, but my subconscious said more.

I was a coward for avoiding my choice that long. And now that I chose
Dante, some part of me still wants to hold on to Drew. That part wants his
warmth and light in my life, even though it's not fair to both.

Drew was my first love, even though he barely acknowledged it until the
end. But you never forget you first love, right?

Well at least that's what they say.

I sighed once again. I loved them both but in different ways. I had given
my heart to both of them and had it thrown back in my face. Although both
did apologize and declare their feelings, I had chosen Dante. Now Drew was
angry with me for my decision about my life and my love. I can never win.

It seems fate just keeps offering two opposing sides for me to choose
from. A life fighting cancer or letting the cards fall where they may. That
decision was the most important. That decision affected everyone involved
with my life. If I chose to fight, I would be sacrificing my needs and
wants again. But if I chose to - not necessarily give up - but surrender to
my cancer, I would be seen as selfish. So it was a very tricky catch
twenty-two. Either decision results in my death eventually, so now was the
limbo where everyone tries to sway my decision.

I groaned in frustration and nausea. My stomach was completely full and I
couldn't eat anymore. My head hurt with all the thoughts running around in
it. Gently I pushed myself away from the table, noting the empty containers
and bottles lying on it. I looked around for something to rest on and saw a
large leather sofa off to the side. It was smooth and hardly used. I moved
to it and curled up in the center. I rested my head on the cool leather,
which instantly soothed my aching head.

I turned from the table and faced the leather padding, trying to keep my
thoughts peaceful. I couldn't hear rain outside, so that probably meant it
was gone. Gradually my thoughts became lucid. I kept visualizing the room
full of kids. Jenny's puppy dog smile. The beautiful scarf she wore. The
two boys who played their game. The little girl's small doll. And the tiny
boy who slept. Silent tears streamed down my cheek, but I wiped them away
quickly. Finally after another 10 minutes or so, I drifted off to a
dreamless nap.


				~*~

It felt like I had been asleep for hours when I suddenly awoke to a soft
rocking movement. Bright light stained the backs of my eyelids. I opened my
eyes and was instantly startled. I gently swayed in Dante's arms as he
carried me down an empty hallway. He hadn't noticed I was awake, but had a
light smile playing on his lips. His arms firmly supported my body and kept
me close to his hard chest. I sighed contently and rested my head back on
his shoulder. He immediately looked down. His smile widened as he lightly
kissed me on the temple.

"Hey there, sleepy head," he said with a smile in his voice. "Why do I
always find you sleeping?"

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Cuz, I know you'll carry me back," I whispered, making him grin crookedly.

"Always, love," he replied warmly and tightened his hold on me. I yawned
and rested back into his chest.

"When did you get here?" I asked as I rubbed my left eye.

"Just over an hour ago," he replied openly. "I came here straight from
school. Stace and Justin had to go home, but they said they'll be here when
you're discharged. Your mom had me look for you."

"Oh," I replied, stifling a yawn. He chuckled and grazed my cheek.

"Still tired?" he asked softly and stopped walking.

"Kinda," I replied and looked around. We were back in my hospital room.

My mom was signing some papers on a clipboard and noticed us enter. She
smiled at Dante, who gestured to me in his arms.

"Look who I found," he said with a laugh. He gently walked to my bed and
placed me on the mattress.

"Hey, honey," my mom said as she flipped the clipboard closed. "Just give
me a minute and then we can go home."

"Okay," I replied as Dante grabbed a chair from the side and placed it in
front of me.

"How was your little trip?" she asked just before she left the room.

"Liberating to say the least," I replied tersely, which caught her
attention.

"I told them it wouldn't work, Cale," she replied calmly, before exiting.

I turned and looked to Dante. He had his chair in front of me and wrapped
his arms around my waist. I softly ran my hands through his hair, as I
stared into his hazel eyes. I spotted a few flecks of green that reflected
in the light. He grinned crookedly and pulled me closer. His hands were
tightly placed under my butt. He held them in his palms.

"What little trip?" he asked as my hands ran through his soft hair. I
shrugged and moved my fingers to his ears. I gently massaged them between
my fingers.

"The doctor wanted me to see the importance of my choice is all," I replied
indifferently. His eyes flashed at the mention of my choice.

"Did you change your mind?" he asked, trying to sound indifferent, but I
could sense real curiosity behind his question.

I shook my head and whispered, "No."

His hazel eyes hardened but his smile remained. Slowly he stood up and
moved between my legs. I looked up at him and stared at him
questioningly. He merely grinned and leaned down to kiss me. The kiss was
soft at first, but gradually it morphed into a passionate smoldering
kiss. His stubble had grown back with more vigor and prickled around my
lips. His breath was extra sweet today and only made me want more.

"You taste like fruit," he said between kisses, making me laugh. "I like
it."

I didn't reply, but continued to kiss him. His tongue gently slipped into
my mouth and ran over my teeth.

He tasted amazing. I sighed at his firm touch, which was still under my
butt. My arms wrapped slowly around his neck and pulled him
tighter. Suddenly someone loudly cleared their throat from the door.

Instantly we broke from our embrace. I blushed and turned away from the
door, burying my face into his hard chest. He chuckled and softly grabbed
my head, holding it to his chest in comfort.

"Hey Stace, hey Justin," he said to the people at the door.

"Did we interrupt?" Justin asked, making me turn to look at them.

He and Stacey were standing in the doorway holding a bag of Twizzler's and
a container of food. Dante chuckled and released his hold. I turned and sat
facing them.

"No," Dante replied and sat in his chair. "Trudy just went to discharge
Caleb."

Stacey came over with the food and placed it on the bed. She smiled at me
and plopped on the bed next to me.

"Its fries and a burger," she said as Justin pulled a chair up to Dante and
started to talk to him. "We heard hospital food sucks."

I smiled, "Yeah. Stay away from their muffins."

She laughed, "Sorry if we interrupted."

She gestured to Dante with her chin. I blushed and looked down.

"You didn't," I replied still looking down. "We were just talking about,
uhh, my decision."

"Oh," she replied instantly dejected. "Any arguments?"

"That's what the kissing was avoiding," I replied as I opened the container
of food. I picked at the fries. I offered one to Stacey and she gladly took
it. "So how was school?"

She sighed, knowing what I was talking about: Drew.

"I didn't see him today," she replied evenly. "We have a class together,
but he was absent. I think he's still upset, Cale."

I sighed, "Yeah, maybe."

"You should go talk to him, I bet he's feeling awful," she replied softly
and took another fry.

I leaned back into my bed and looked up at the ceiling. She followed and
laid back next to me. The boys were still talking to each other, oblivious
to our conversation. I turned my head to the side and looked at Stacey. Her
dark hair was pulled back from her face by a headband, showing her deep
fathomless obsidian eyes.

"Stace?" I asked, getting her attention.

"Yeah?" she replied quietly, and stared back.

"What would you do in my situation?" I whispered softly, the fries
forgotten.

She breathed deeply and grabbed my hand. She lightly squeezed it and
whispered shakily.

"I don't know, Cale," she replied, her eyes melting sadly. "I really don't
know."

Suddenly I heard my mom's voice as she entered the room.

"Hey, Mrs. P," Justin greeted as she walked to my bed. "Can Cale go home?"

I sat up at his words, and pulled Stacey along with me. My mom smiled and
gathered her things.

"We can all go home," she replied warmly and threw me my clothes. I smiled
in relief.

"Thank God," I replied and moved from the bed. I quickly began to put my
clothes on underneath my hospital gown.

Dante chuckled. Justin and Stacey grabbed my belongings. My mom left to
tell the other nurses she was headed home. When I was fully dressed, we
left the small room and walked to the hospital's entrance.

We didn't have to wait long for my mom, before she showed up. I didn't see
Josh, for which I was thankful.

Immediately we left the hospital. It finally felt like my heart was
reaching a certain equilibrium. Dante smiled at me and I felt warmth spread
throughout my body. Hopefully the next few months would be like this, I
thought happily as we all entered the parking lot ready to finally go home.

Hopefully.


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