Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2001 08:33:49 +0200
From: Lange <lange.ruegen@t-online.de>
Subject: us (1/1) (highschool)

hey...
usual disclaimers etc. etc .etc.
copyright 2001 by n-c-g. all rights reserved :-) I just *love* to write that.
edited by Miguel Sanchez. although I didn't allow him to edit too much ;-)

about the story. The story is in no connection to my other story "Betrayed
love" (young friends). that means, there is a connection, but I won't tell
you. i think the story's pretty slow to start, but it gets better. that's
it. if you like the story, or don't like it or whatver, mail me at
~lange.ruegen@t-online.de~. okay, let's start

~~~~~~~~~
~~~
~

Us
[03/17/01]

I'd hung around with Jaxsper again the day before. Not that I minded - we'd
had a lot of fun, you know. That day was school once more. We never had as
much fun in school as we had outside of it. There were always teachers who
interrupted our talks, that was really unnerving, but we could do nothing
to change it. As if we had enough freetime to talk during schoolday. We had
English, history and p.e. together, so that's pretty little for best
friends to talk about important things.

Important things, well...Jax always discussed the topic of girls, you know,
the ones he's met, how they'd kissed, what their sex was like... During one
of those talks I kinda noticed that I was not too interested in that. I
think, I found girls simply not as lovable and as sexy like friends of mine
seemed to do. To make it easy to understand, I realized I'm gay or at least
bi or something. I had no problems with that. I mean, I had also told
nobody out it at that time, as I was not 100% sure. You may ask why 'cause
people usually know whether they're gay or not, but hey, I was quite
inexperienced and I was a teenager. 15. A boy. It could have been a phase
or whatever. I now know that it was not, but it could have been, couldn't
it? But I have to get to the point of the story.

Jax and I were sitting through English class - not being allowed to talk
and thus sending little letters to each other. Of course, we did not really
pay attention to the teacher who talked about 'Romeo & Juliet'. Both of us
had read the book, which did not happen very often, but neither of us liked
it. Jax told me that he didn't like the book because 'there's nothing like
this kind of never-ending love'. That must be the gigolo speaking.

I didn't know what to think of the book either and I had no idea why
everybody said that this is such an incredible one. I guess I didn't really
understand what it is about, but never mind, it was usually like the
teachers spelled everything out clear. They had done it anyway during the
past years. I mean, what *was* the topic of the book? There were some
14-year-olds who think they fell in endless love, talk like 100-year-olds
and kill themselves? I simply didn't grasp that and thus I was not too
interested in talking about it. Right now they discussed whether it was
still relevant nowadays. Yeah sure, as if I could say anything about
it. Hopefully, the teacher wouldn't ask me, but well, it happened that way
it always did.

"Adam, what do you think, is the book still relevant for today's society?

"Me, umm...well, I umm...you know, I think...I..."

*Knock, knock, knock*

I was saved. Thank God. This could have become quite embarrassing in the
end.  The door opened and a head poked into the room looking around
searching.  Finally turning to Mr. Lanegan - the teacher - he asked.

"Am I right here? Advanced English or something?"

He had this cute accent. I didn't know what it was, but I could tell that
he was not from around here. Definitely not from around here. Who knows
what it was.

"Yes, step on in."

The door opened further and we got a full look on him for the first time as
it had been somehow shadowy near the door. He stepped into the room and
came to a stop in front of us. The breath of all of us came to a stop too
and our eyes were glued to his appearance. He wore a black skirt going down
to his ankles and a violet girlie top which showed off his belly button and
his obviously hairless armpits. His lips and eyelids were colored in a
shade of violet, too, but the eyelids were somehow lighter. The eyes
themselves were a deep green which whyever, did not interfere with the
symmetry of his appearance. To top it off, his hair was styled in a girl's
way with some gel in it, supporting its hold.

All of us were absolutely shocked being in a strictly catholic school, we'd
never experienced this kind of thing, meaning that somebody would just walk
in like this. I looked around and really, everyone was staring. Even
Mr. Lanegan's jaw had dropped. One of the jerks of our school uttered the
first word.

"FAG!"

The sound of it echoed in the room and in all our heads over and over
again. *I* thought over and over again how beautiful he was and after this
asshole had to destroy the atmosphere what exactly would happen next. The
boy then opened his mouth to reply something.

"I am, you are right, Quite obviously. Call me whatever you like. I don't
care anymore and that means I'm quite used to it. If you think you have to
insult me with some words and be as immature as you can possibly be, do
so. I know who I am and what I am like."

Wow, he had said exactly what I'd wanted to say for so long. And he was
gay.  He was so cute and I was already falling for him. For his lips which
were pouty without even intending it, so kissable. And his eyes.
Incredible. That means, if I wore make-up and had green eyes I would never
combine my eyes with violet eye-shadow. It looked somehow weird, but really
interesting, Obviously not everyone thought so as the murmuring began.

I thought he was really brave to stand for what he was so openly. I would
have never dared to do that - not to mention that I, at that time, was not
the type of gay guy who would wear a skirt and a girly-shirt, but I admired
the boy for doing it.

I looked over to Jax and he was still staring wide-eyed at the guy over
there. I was especially interested in his reaction. Waiting a few seconds
longer I made a decision I'd maybe come to regret later, but it felt right
and I would have probably done the same thing again in such a situation
years from then.  Somehow, I detached from my body and the real world and
it was as if I watched my actions flying above my own head. I stood up
slowly and as if ordered everybody turned to me with confusion etched on
their faces. Even the boy looked at me. And he smiled. I think he knew what
I wanted to do or at least suspected it. It was not like I was so
intoxicated by him that I, by some subconscious reaction, just followed his
will, it was...I just wanted to do it. And he smiled at me. I took one deep
breath and...

"I'm gay, too."

That did it. Everybody was totally stunned. He had been some new kid.
Nobody really did care that much whether he was gay or not, but me? I had
been at this school for years and the people knew me (or had thought they
did) and some were friends of mine. It was a severe shock and several of
the boys looked at me unbelieving, some even shaking their heads, asking
themselves why I had said those words. And really, Mr. Lanegan even asked
me.

"What have you said?"

"I said: 'I am gay.' It's the truth."

Murmuring, louder than before, went through the class. Each one was still
looking at me with wide open eyes, but I only had eyes for him. He looked
quite surprised too, so maybe he hadn't suspected it after all, but giving
me an up-nod after noticing my probably slightly scared expression.

"Adam and you,...boy. Go to the principal's office now. Immediately!"

What? Only because we said we're gay, we had to... I'd never been told to
go to the principal before. Only because I've been absolutely honest with
everybody for possibly the first time in my life I had to see him now? Life
sucks big time, but there was not much I could do.

I didn't want to look at Jax when I left the place and walked into
direction of the door. I did catch a glimpse of his face though from the
corner of my eye. He didn't look angry or disgusted. He only seemed sad or
disappointed. I should have told him about me. I only hoped this would not
influence our friendship in a bad way. And then I looked at him directly.
He looked me in the eye then turned his head downwards. It seemed to
influence our friendship. I tried to find other, encouraging faces in the
class. There were so many friends of mine here, but I only saw turned away
faces and open hatred. Those were my friends. I turned my gaze away and let
my head hang. Had it really been the right decision?

I walked past the boy and out of the door, stopping in the hallway . The
boy had followed me and I heard him closing the door and walking up behind
me. I shuddered when I felt his arms go around my waist , but relaxed into
his chest after a minute. I enjoyed absorbing his warmth through my clothes
and I enjoyed feeling him so near. I let myself fall. Fall into an endless
pit of coziness. Fall for this boy and most important: I let myself fall in
love.

It seemed to me like ages that we stood there and did nothing, ages that he
held me, only held me and I was startled when I heard him speaking.

"I'm proud of you."

I turned in his embrace, his arms still holding me tight against his body.
Now we were facing each other. His eyes were glowing in the slightly dim
hallway. It was as if he was hypnotizing me and I felt myself falling for
him hard. He seemed so much experienced and at ease with his sexuality
although he couldn't have been that much older than myself. Still, it was
not like he was dominating me or made me feel smaller. It's difficult to
explain. And I didn't want to do too much soul-searching in this kind of
situation. I looked at his luscious lips and it just overcame me. I kissed
him. With more force than I had intended. Overrun, he toppled backwards and
fell down, his hands for once leaving its place shortly above my butt to
brace himself for the fall. He groaned when his spine connected with the
floor, but I didn't give it too much thought. He didn't either.  Before I
could accustom to the situation and to the sensation of his lips on mine,
he'd taken in the scene and rolled the surprised me around. I was now below
him and pinned to the ground, my arms extended over my head with our
fingers entwined. He was not rough though, but slowly running his tongue
across my closed lips, coaxing me to open them and I gave in when the need
to taste him became to much to handle. His tongue slipped in and lightly
touched mine, playing with its tip and waiting until I'd have realized
what's going on and would react. And I did react...after about two
minutes. I moved my tongue and touched his lightly. I felt him smile and
now the real kiss could begin.

I guess I don't have to explain now how you kiss. But I will say just this
much, it was awesome. Only one kiss and I knew for sure I was in love with
him. Only one kiss and I knew I wanted him to love me back. I hoped he
did. He slowly finished kissing by placing angel kisses on my mouth and
face when I lay panting for air still below him. He looked into my eyes
once more and had the biggest smile on his face, but then...he surprised
me. Suddenly, the eyes lost its sparkle and his smile faded into nothing.
He got off me onto his knees and clumsily tried to straighten out my
slightly crumpled shirt until he seemed to realize something and got up
quickly. When he turned, I thought I saw a tear slip from his eye. He went
down the halfway dark hallway with slow steps and left me confused on the
cold floor.

What had happened now? Had I done something wrong Was it my fault that he
felt bad? I lay crushed on the floor with tons of thoughts running through
my head and I couldn't move. It had been so delicious, so rare, so new, so
overwhelming and that was it? It couldn't be.

Just then it occurred to me that I should maybe go after the boy - I still
didn't know his name - and ask him what's wrong and maybe help him. And I
wanted to go after him. And I did go after him. After getting up from the
ground and moving my creaking limbs. The floor hadn't seemed so
uncomfortable when laying there, but now...ahhhh. I could use a massage.
Preferably by him. If I would find him. Realizing that he could be already
a mile away I hurried down the hallways as fast as I was able to with my
impaired body. If I was poetic I would now say that my love for him carried
me down the hallway, but if I was poetic I would also like 'Romeo & Juliet'
and I don't. So no, not my love but my legs carried me done the hallway
although they did hurt. I was determined to find this boy. Even if it was
only to tell him I love him and be slapped by him afterwards, but now that
I had found my true love, I didn't want to lose him again that shortly
after. I had to find him.

I crossed the campus with speed of light - or so it seemed to me - and
stopped once I was on the street I looked in both directions , but there
was nowhere a trace of the boy to be seen. Where had he gone? Either, I
went the right way and would find him - or I would go the wrong way and
risked never seeing him again. Tough question. And the only way to make
that decision was for me some stupid act: I closed my eyes and started to
revolve until me head was spinning. I opened my eyes. I now stood in
direction 'left'. Okay, it had been fate now.  Let's see what would happen.

I ran as fast as I could down the street, not caring about people on
sidewalks or cars on streets. He was the only present thought in my mind. I
had already crossed the junction when my eyes went back to the park on the
other side of the road. I hadn't seen the boy anywhere near and the park
was worth a try. I would have gone there, if I felt down, but after all the
boy was not me and probably was even not *like* me. Still, it was one of
the very few chances I had. So, I went back across the road although the
traffic lights had already turned red for pedestrians. The cars honked and
had to apply the brakes heavily, but I didn't care. They yelled at me, but
my mind didn't register it. Everything was turned to finding that boy.

I entered the park and there were several intersections of ways, but I kept
going straight ahead, hoping to catch a glimpse of him somewhere. I had
already passed another intersection when I saw something violet from the
corner of my eye. I stopped dead in my tracks and went slowly back to go
along that way.  There was no need to run now as the person in front of me
didn't even walk, but sat on the grass. The nearer I got the surer I
was. It was him.

I came to a stop about two yards behind him and considered what to do
now. He sat on the ground with his arms around his knees and his face
somehow turned downwards. Should I keep standing here now or should I go to
him? I had wanted to find him so badly that I hadn't considered what to do
once I *had* found him. Besides, declaring my never-ending love, of
course. And well, I didn't know if he would be mad at me for going after
him. Then I turned off my mind and let my heart do whatever it wanted. And
it did. As it seemed the boy had not noticed me standing behind him. I now
went up to him, slid behind his body with my feet on either side of him and
slid my arms around him before he even had the chance to react.

I felt him tensing when I made the first contact, but I guess he relaxed
when he realized it was me. I put my head against his back and enjoyed to
feel his warmth once more. I wanted to ask why he'd run away and whether it
had been because of me and finally, I also wanted to know his name, but I
wanted him to set the pace and tell me when he thought the moment was
right.

I don't have such a good feeling for time, so I don't know how long we sat
that way. I only know that the sun began to set when he moved for the first
time. He wriggled slightly out of my grasp and I really thought he would
tell me to leave now. Instead, he lay down beside me, then taking my hand
and beckoning me to lay next to him. I laid my head on his chest and draped
one leg over his. His right arm was below my body and held me tight against
his. His left hand started playing with my hair. Somehow I clung to him
like a baby-ape to his mom. I heard his heart beat in a slow and steady
pattern. The he started to talk.

"I'm sorry I left you like that in the school. I don't know what it was
that came over me. I think I just got scared. Scared I would enjoy it too
much and scared you'd leave me once it was over. I'm sorry, can you forgive
me?"

I turned my head and moved myself a little so that I was fully on top of
him, propped up on my elbows and looking down at his face. His make-up was
spoiled and there were tear traces down his face. He was still beautiful to
me and I kissed him lightly on the lips. His hands went around my body
again and came to a rest on my butt. I mumbled a quiet 'I forgive you'
before I kissed him again, this time letting my tongue slip between his
lips and explore his mouth. And explore it did. Our kiss deepened and won
on passion every second. A pleasant tingle shot down my spine and into my
groin every time our tongues met in his or my mouth. It didn't seem to be
different for him as he began to guide my hips in the most pleasurable way
against his. I could feel his erection through my pants and his skirt and
I'm sure he could feel mine as my cock strained against the fly and a moan
escaped my lips each time there was pressure being applied to it.

His hands left its place on my butt to go around my body and he desperately
looked for the zipper of my pants. Sensing that I tried to help him, he
used that chance to push me off him again and get on top of me. I deeply
appreciated that as he seemed to really be the more experienced one of us
and when he decided to take the initiative I wouldn't be sad. And I was
not. When he found the button and zipper, he opened both and slid my pants
down, discarding them someplace beside us. His hands then came back to my
body and rested on my belly. Instead of sliding down the boxershorts, he
let his hands wander under my shirt and glide over my chest. I forcefully
grabbed his head when he caressed my left nipple and slammed his lips onto
mine once more.

Having him where I had wanted him, I let *my* hands do a little travelling
for once. It took me some time to work out where the zipper for his skirt
was, but after I'd found it, it was not long before it lay near my
pants. Surprised, I noticed that the boy - why haven't I asked him for his
name yet? - wore no underwear, but I shrugged it off. It was for the
better, less stuff to be taken off. As a reaction he first pulled off my
shirt and then his own. I still wore the boxershorts and it didn't seem
like he really wanted to do something about it as he broke the
passion-filled writhing on the grass and lay beside me, drawing figures on
my chest with his fingers. Both our cocks were still hard, but I didn't
care about it as the foremost thing that moment. Neither did he. I think he
simply enjoyed to just lay beside me and I know I did, It felt good to have
him caress me and look at his concentrated face, the messed up hair and
make-up. It felt right. It felt like love. It was love. I didn't want to
break this moment's atmosphere, but I just *had* to ask now.

"Ummm...what's your name?"

It came out hesitantly and unsure. They way I felt. He curiously looked at
me and broke into a smile. His eyes sparkling like shallow bays of the
pacific ocean...but that does sound corny now, doesn't it?

"My name? Nathaniel."

I tried it, I really did, but I couldn't hide the smirk that crossed my
face. He playfully slapped me and grinned too.

"Don't laugh. My mom just has a thing for ancient names, I guess. I think
my name sounds silly."

"Oh, I don't think so. It suits you in a way."

"It does?"

"Yeah."

That was probably the longest dialogues we had that day. And it was already
finished at that point as Nathaniel rolled back onto me and started
grinding his crotch against mine, making my cock spring back to its fullest
hardness. Just then he realized something was wrong and looked down. It was
not wrong for long because in one swift movement my boxershorts had left my
body and both of us were completely naked. To feel his member against mine
made me throw my head back and moan in deep pleasure. Tingles and
shockwaves ran all over my body and these sensations were even heightened
when I felt his lips and teeth nibble at the skin of my neck.

I didn't care whether people would come along or not. I didn't care about
my parents who were probably worried by now as I was still not home. The
only thing I cared about was him and me. Our bodies. Together. Like one. It
was what counted. To feel his skin. To see his eyes. And most of all to
feel his lips on mine and our tongues dancing. The need. The desire. The
warmth. The heat.  The love. All that mattered. Nothing else.

The world around us was a blur, but I could clearly see his green eyes
shimmering above me. I saw his eyes when he made love to me. I saw his eyes
when he said 'I love you' for the first time. I saw his eyes when he came.
Feeling him cum sent me over the edge, too. My eyes closed tightly and my
mouth opened wide. I wanted to scream, but no sounds came out as there was
a mouth sealing mine and a tongue invading. The kisses got softer the more
we relaxed and the more the tension slipped from us. He rolled onto his
side next to me, but I clutched to his body. Our arms encircling. Our legs
entwining. Our lips meeting. Our eyes glowing. It was heaven and it was
insanity.

It was him and me under the night-sky, under the stars and the moon. It was
him and me when it began to rain and the drops ran down his and my form. It
was me kissing them from his face. It was him kissing them from mine.

It was him and me sleeping together that night.
It was us.
It is him and me sleeping together tonight.
It is us.
It will be him and me sleeping together tomorrow, the following days, weeks,
months, years.
It will be us.
Forever.
Never-ending.
Always.
Us.

The End

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