Date: Sat, 30 Nov 2002 12:36:24 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 2, Chapter 2 Thanks to everyone who let me know what you thought about Chapter One! It's great to get your letters and I read them all! I appreciate the feedback very much! Oh, I got a letter that made me think... Would you have gotten off the bus with Brett or just let him go? At age fourteen, I wouldn't have had the guts to follow him. Now, eleven years later I probably still wouldn't. Cowardly, yes. Warnings for this chapter: None. Just don't use it for evil purposes and everything should be fine. Oh, and if you pay attention you get a good look at where we're headed. W.A.R. Part Two: Cold Winter Chapter Two: Misunderstanding by Jeff Wilson I walked into my house and threw my bookbag on the couch. Sometime during the next two weeks I'd do the algebra homework that dick of a teacher gave us to do. I made a ham and cheese sandwich and sat down to watch television. There was nothing on but soap operas and Maury Povich. I turned it off. I decided to call Brett's house to see if he was feeling better. The phone rang. Brett answered. "Hello?" "Hello, Dr. Reilly?" "No, it's Brett... Fuck you too, Billy." "Heh heh! I'm sorry! How are you feeling?" "Like a complete moron." "I'm sorry, bud. Why did you do that today?" "What? Fall out of my seat like a dork or make an ass of myself in front of everybody?" "Everything... Look I'm worried about you. You've been acting weird for a while now. Is everything alright?" "Look Billy, you just wouldn't understand, okay? Sometimes things happen and all it does is mess everything up. It's just... I just need some time to sort it out." "Well why won't you let me help you?" "I just can't. I've got to deal with it myself. Okay? Anyway, happy birthday. Have fun tonight and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." Finally! He actually admitted that something is bothering him! He's been denying it for so long, I thought he'd never actually admit there was anything wrong. Okay, so what could turn someone who was always so happy into someone so miserable? Why didn't he want to talk about it? Wait a minute... What had he said? "Things happen that mess everything up?" What things? What kinds of things could mess up everything? Illness? Drugs? Sex? Sex... Like jacking off while your best friend watched you? Oh no! No no no!! It couldn't be that! It just couldn't! Brett was miserable because of me! He was sorry about what we did! He was probably trying to not be my friend anymore, but he's too nice to say so! Anything but that! Anything! What would I do without him? I wouldn't be able to live! This is the worst thing that could happen! I went to my room and lay down on my bed. I was trying real hard not to start crying. It would be an hour until my mom got home. Then my dad would be home at around 4:30. I lay there on my back, just thinking. What if Brett didn't want to be friends anymore? I couldn't even breathe without him... And besides that, it was his idea! He's the one who said we should watch the tape! He's the one who said we should jack off!! He's the one who said he loved me first!!! Why is he mad at me when he's the one who started everything? I refused to cry about it. I refused to let the tears that were starting to form in my eyes get out. He couldn't do this to me, he just couldn't! "WAKE UP BILLY!!!" I would have jumped ten feet in the air, but somebody landed on top of me. "Dustin! What the hell are you doing here!?!" "Happy birthday, Lefty!!! My mom told me about Brett, so I figured I'd come over and find out what happened." "Well how did you get in? Did you break in or something?" "Did I break... What? No, you dumb ass, your mom let me in!" "My mom's home? What time is it?" "It's 3:30. Did you fall asleep? Good thing we weren't in class!!" "Yeah, so much for having a half day to play around." Weird... I dozed right off and didn't even notice. One minute I was thinking, then the next I was getting smashed. My chest kind of hurt from Dustin landing on me, but that was alright. We had a good laugh about it. "So, what's the deal with Mr. Sunshine?" "Who? Brett? I don't know..." "Well somebody peed in his cornflakes. What did you do?" "ME? What makes you think I did something?" What did Dustin know? Did he figure it out? How could he have? "Relax, Lefty... I'm just messing with you. What's with you two, anyway?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, you used to at least hang out with me. Now you're always with him. I'm surprised you actually invited me to go bowling with you. It's like lately it's all Brett, Brett, Brett. You're like my best friend, dude. But if you had to choose between me and him, you'd pick him every time." "No I wouldn't. It's just... I... I'm sorry you feel that way. Look, you may be right. I'm just worried about him, okay? You've seen that he's changed." "Well it was before that. You've always liked him more. I've only got you and Joey. Then when Joey gets another girlfriend I've got nobody. What happened this summer? I only saw you at ball games. That was it. It's like you forgot about me." "Well I..." "I mean... I know your grandma was sick and you had to take care of her sometimes. So I didn't push it. But couldn't you see that I needed somebody to hang out with too? Didn't you even care?" "Dust, where is this coming from? You know I didn't mean to make you feel that way. If you were feeling bad, why didn't you just tell me? I'd have made time for you! You know I love you, man." "Well don't get all queer on me or anything. I'm just saying that you do have other friends, that's all." "I wasn't getting "queer" on you. I was just saying, is all!" I said getting a little miffed. "Easy, War! I'm just messing with you! Why are you so sensitive about things? I know you're not gay! I can tell a fag when I see one and you're definitely not one." I laughed nervously. I really didn't know how to reply, so I just sat there. Finally the silence was getting a little uncomfortable. I had to break the silence, so I asked, "So, what do you think is wrong with him?" "Who? Oh! Brett. I think he's having his period." "Dustin!!!" "I'll tell you what though, he better never piss me off again. If I'd have been on that bus when he said that about my mom, I'd have kicked his ass. And if he does something like that to somebody I love again, I'll punch him right in the face. I still can't believe he called my mom a bitch." "Yeah. He didn't mean it though." I said, trying to calm him down. "If I would have said something like that, my mom would make sure that I wouldn't be able to sit for a month. It's okay though, I'll kick his ass when we go bowling." Dustin and Brett bowl in the same league on Saturday mornings. They are both pretty good at it. I just plain suck. I asked Dustin to stay for a while and we played video games for a while. When my dad got home Dustin had to go home. My mom drove him home while my dad took a shower. I went with mom and Dustin. I didn't realize I'd been hurting him for so long. Now that's two friends whose lives I've messed up. I'm doing just wonderful! We picked up dad and went to the restaurant of my choosing. They knew I'd pick Janet's Diner. It's owned by Bobby Rush's mom. It's got the best food in the county, period. It's as if my grandma was cooking there, it's just that good. No matter what you get, it's great. Everybody who works there knows me because I go there so much. It's my dad's favorite, too. Tonight, Mrs. Rush herself talked with us and took our order. She told me "Happy Birthday" when I walked in. Now how did she know that? My mom talked about her plans to host a Christmas Eve Party. She had sent out the invitations long ago, and the time was close for the party. We used to always go to grandma's on Christmas Eve, but I guess we won't be doing that anymore. The fact that they sold her house makes that kind of tricky. As we were eating, I told mom and dad about Miss Winston asking me to help with girls' volleyball. My dad was quite impressed. "Wow! You mean you'd get to spend your fall looking at cute girls hitting balls." "GEORGE!!" My mom scolded him while laughing. "Now come on, dear. I would have loved to have the chance to do something like that!! You should definitely do it, boy! That's probably the best job in the world for a boy like you." "Well," I said, "Miss Winston is pretty tough. It will be a lot of work." My mom spoke up. "Miss Winston? Pat Winston? I just saw her and Susan the other day at the store. She said you were one of the best boys at the school. And when she says that, it's worth something!" "Wow... She said that about me? Wow. Who's Susan?" My mom kind of looked as if I asked the wrong question. She spoke to me very quietly. "Susan is her... room mate." "Oh! You mean she's her partner." Mom's eyes got a little bigger and my dad kind of looked at me funny. "Well she is, isn't she?" Mom looked a little uncomfortable. "How do know about something like that?" "I'm fourteen now, mom. I know about things. I know they're lesbians. It's not a big deal." "Well, I'm not sure I want you to know about those kinds of things." Mom replied. My dad was just sitting there watching us as we talked. He had stopped eating and was just listening to us. "I'm not a baby, mom. Just because you didn't know about things when you were my age doesn't mean I don't. You guys tell me all the time how smart you think I am. I'd be pretty dumb if I didn't know what a lesbian was by now." "Well it's not that... it's... well... I just think that people who choose to be gay have to be care..." "What makes you think she had a choice?" "Billy... Don't get angry about it. I'm glad we can talk about these things. I just don't think we're in the right place." "What makes you think she had a choice, mom?" "Well..." She was looking around nervously. "Well, when people choose to live a certain lifestyle, they..." "What lifestyle? Wait a minute. How is her lifestyle any different from ours? She grew up. She went to school. She got a job. She found somebody to love and then she decided to live with them. What's so unusual about that?" "But she's living with woman..." "So is dad!" My dad started to laugh. My mom gave him "the look." He wasn't helping her. She was looking for a way to end this conversation. "Look, Billy, it's just not natural for a woman to love a woman." "Why not?" "Well, when she chose to... No... Well when she..." "Go on, mom." "Let's just eat our dinner, Billy." "You don't have an answer do you?" "I don't know, Billy... I was raised in different times. I could have never had this conversation with my parents." "So when did you choose to like boys instead of girls?" "What? I never chose to like boys, Billy. I always liked boys." "So you didn't choose to like boys. It just happened. Hmmm... Oh I see, if you like girls, you were born that way. But if you like boys, you chose to live that way. That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. What if I..." I didn't get a chance to finish because just then the waitress came out with a little birthday cake. They sang Happy Birthday to me and I blew out the candles. We finished our dinner without finishing the conversation. It was dropped entirely and we just enjoyed our time together. It was only later that night in bed when I realized how close I came to saying way too much during dinner. That'll wrap up Chapter Two. This is one of those chapters that just needs to be written because it sets up so much of the rest of the story. This is kind of the keystone of Cold Winter, and beyond. Let me know what you think by writing to: vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com Chapter Three: Birthday Bowling Bash, is next.