Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 01:16:57 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 2: Chapter 5 HOLY COW!!! You guys are amazing! I was so surprised by the amount of people who wrote, and I am extremely grateful! Even though I was kind of joking about the lack of email, I was feeling a little bit... I don't even know! But you guys took care of that real quick! Thank you very much! In fact, I just figured I'd thank you by sending in this chapter sooner than I thought I would. Warning: Have I mentioned how appreciative I am of everyone who wrote? I mean it! Watch out for bad words and such in this chapter. W.A.R. Part Two: Cold Winter Chapter 5: Punishment by Jeff Wilson We pulled into the driveway at about 11:30. It was much later than we had planned. I thought we'd be home at around 10:30. Brett had fallen asleep in the backseat. He was completely out, like he'd spent every bit of energy that he had. My dad had to shake him to wake him up. When he finally woke up, we started walking toward the house. It was very cold, and very wet. The rain had turned into a light snow. We walked into my house to find my mom waiting. "Let me see it." She pulled me under the light and had me open my mouth while she looked inside. She knew before we even walked in the door about my mouth. How did she do things like that? How could my parents always know what I was up to? "You should be okay. It will hurt for a while. You're cut pretty badly in there. You're swelling some, too. Go get the cold compress and put it on. I want to talk to you boys when you get back." She did not look happy at all. Brett just stood there looking at his feet the whole time. I got the cold compress and came back to the living room. Brett was sitting on the couch next to my dad. My mom was sitting in her chair. I sat on the other side of dad. "Mrs. Smith called me." Mom explained. She looked at Brett. "I want to know why you hit my son." Brett was still looking at his feet. "Brett, look at me." Brett kept his face turned down, but his eyes looked up to my mom. "Why did you hit him?" "Because I was mad." "And that gives you the right to hit him?" "No..." "Then why did you do that? Do you know how much damage you could have done? He could have been cut a lot worse than he is. He might have needed stitches inside his mouth. Do you know how painful that would have been? Did you really want to be responsible for that?" "Mom wait!" I couldn't sit there quietly anymore. "The only reason he hit me is because we were arguing. We were yelling. He said something about dad and I said "at least I have a dad." We were both being stupid. I shouldn't have said that." My dad spoke up. "What? Billy! Why would you say something like that?" He was much more angry than I expected. I explained, "We were fighting. I wanted to hurt him, so I said it. I know it was stupid but..." "William Aaron Roberts! We didn't raise you to do a thing like that." Mom scolded before I could finish. "Even if you were in an argument, that was a terrible thing to say! You should be ashamed of yourself!" "I am ashamed!!" I protested. "I'm sorry! It just slipped out! You know I didn't mean anything by it. I wouldn't try to hurt him on purpose! I didn't know he was going to hit me!" "You're lucky I don't hit you!" Dad said angrily. "Go to your room!" "But that's not fair!! I said I was sorry!! I didn't even have to tell you that I did that!" I yelled. "Now!" Mom and dad both said. "This is stupid! I stupid hate this stupid house!" I was so mad I couldn't even talk right. I stormed off to my room and slammed my door as hard as I could. I stood there for a minute, not sure exactly what had just happened, or what to do next. I pulled off my bloody shirt and threw it across the room. Then I threw myself onto my bed, punched my pillow a few times and started crying. I was mad. I didn't have to tell them what I did, but I did it anyway. Then I got in trouble for it! That sucks! I hate them! I curled up in a ball and rested my head on my pillow. I wasn't bawling, but just silently letting the tears get out. My right eye hurt again. It wasn't fair. I got punched and I'm the one who gets in trouble. All because I said something I said that I didn't even mean. I made up my mind that I was going to run away. That would show them! I'd run away and they'd be so sorry that they were mean to me! They'd be crying all the time! There was a knock on my door. "Go away! I hate you!!" The door opened anyway. "I said GO AWAY!!!" "Billy... It's me." Brett answered. "You?!? What do you want this time? Do you want to get me in trouble again? Maybe you want to hit me again? Just leave me alone!" I said. "Your mom made me come in here to apologize. But, I really am sorry that I hit you." He closed the door, making the room dark except for my desk lamp. "Screw you! I don't accept your apology. I'll never forgive you! Nobody hits me. Not my parents. Not my friends. Not even you!" I couldn't look at him. I stayed on my side facing away from him. "But I really am sorry, Billy! Do you know what I've been going through?" "No!" I finally turned to look at him. "How could I know what you're going through Brett? Huh? Tell me how I'm supposed to know when you never said a stupid thing about it." "I couldn't say anything! I wasn't even supposed to say anything tonight! I don't know why I told you guys that. If my mom finds out that I did, I don't know what will happen! She'll never trust me again! She never even told her parents." "But the guy went to jail!" "Yeah, for another rape, after my mom. By then she saw no reason to get humiliated. She just had me and went on with her life." Now that he had opened up, I should have thought very carefully about what to say next. But I didn't. "So that gives you the right to treat me like dirt for four months? No. I don't buy that! There's something else. You don't treat somebody like crap for four months just because your dad's a creep! And every time I tried to help you, you were mean to me. You're still hiding something! This is going to end tonight. I'm sick of being careful of what I say around you because I don't want you to get mad. Look, when my grandma was sick, I wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with. But I never took it out on you." "Yes, you did! Remember that time in the park when you told me to fuck off?" I'd forgotten about that. "Okay, one time. But when you came back the next day I accepted your help. I didn't shut you out over and over like you did to me. You hurt me long before you hit me! I don't think it's just finding out about your dad. That's tough, but it's not the end of the world. There's something else." "No. There's nothing else! Quit saying that there's something else." He said, getting a little upset again. "You're doing it again! You're trying to shut me out again! I'm not going to let you! Not again. Look at my mouth and then tell me you're going to wait four more months to tell me what's wrong!" Brett was beginning to tear up. "Do you think I wanted this? Everyday I have to look in the mirror and see what I am. I don't care about being a bastard. I haven't cared for a while now. Lots of people have parents that aren't married. But, how many have a father who doesn't even know that you exist? There are worse things than being a bastard." Then he paused. He sighed, a long, deep sigh. Then he started again. "Look... I'm really really really sorry that I hit you tonight. Please don't be mad at me! I need you to not be mad at me! Please!" "I'll forgive you, if you tell me what else is bothering you." I offered. "I... I... I can't." He said, almost disappointed. "What are you afraid of? I didn't care about your father. Do you really think I'll care about the other thing?" "It's not that... It's just... I don't even know myself anymore. Okay? You ever wake up and feel like you don't even control your own thoughts? Your own feelings? Like you want to do something so bad it hurts, but if you did it, it would destroy your whole life? Oh, you just wouldn't understand..." "Try me, Brett. Tell me what you could possibly do that would be that terrible." "I can't." He said, more firmly than before. "What? Did you sleep with Dustin's sister or something?" I was hoping that if I could lighten the mood, he'd open up again. "What? Eww... No! Look, I can't, okay. I just can't do it. Look, I've got to go to sleep. I'm really tired. I'm supposed to sleep on the couch." "No. You're sleeping here tonight." "But your mom said..." "Screw what my mom said!" I replied, getting up off the bed. "Screw them both. I want you to sleep with me in my bed. And that's what you're going to do. They always try to boss me around like they own me or something. You're sleeping here." I was not going to let him get away. "Okay... My stuff is already in here anyway." We each went to the bathroom to get ready for bed and change clothes. I'd have rather had him change in my room, but oh well! We slipped under the covers together and I reached over to turn off the light. Usually, we lay there and talk or goof around for a while. But on that night, we were both asleep in minutes. There! Billy and Brett have now slept together! heh heh heh!!! What? Not that kind of sleeping? Oh well! The next Chapter, Wrestling, is up next. We're going to step into some uncharted territory together in that one. Nothing major, just... different. You'll see. I fully expect Part Two to be wrapped up by Christmas. It's all done except for some editing here and there. I expect to start some rough drafts of Part Three before too long. I have some ideas floating around in my head for that Part already! I'm debating how far to take the next time leap, Spring or summer again. Each has its good points. Have I mentioned I like to get email? I know Christmas is getting close. I swear, it's getting faster every year! But please feel free to send a message my way! Here's that infamous address again: vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com There's no special meaning to that addy, by the way. I had just read an article about a squirrel that was randomly attacking people in a park and thought it was pretty funny! See you later! Thanks again for writing to me!!