Date: Fri, 29 Aug 2003 03:33:33 -0400 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 4 - Chapter 12 I'm back!!! Sorry this chapter took so long. I completely rewrote it, plus I had to deal with end of summer laziness. Also, If I didn't reply to your email, I deeply apologize. I was getting those fucking 120k special packages from that worm. Windows Update, people! That little globe in your taskbar isn't blinking for no reason! Anyway, I overflowed my email because of that. I am an email packrat. I can't bring myself to delete your messages when you send them to me. I appreciate them sooooo much! W.A.R. Part Four - Rehabilitation Chapter Twelve - Backlash by Jeff Wilson "You didn't..." "I had to, Brett." I said. Brett sighed deeply. "Billy... Sometimes you are such an idiot! That asshole throws a basketball at your face and you still don't get it." "That was before we made up, Brett." "Well you should have got the message then! Shit, Billy, don't you see it. It's so fucking obvious! Dustin's an asshole. His parents are assholes. His sister's an asshole. It's genetic or something. He's going to hurt you. It's just a matter of how and when." "Dustin's not going to hurt me. At least the way you think he is. He might do something stupid, but he's not going to deliberately try to hurt me. I don't think he'd even try to deliberately hurt you." "Yeah, he didn't mean to punch me in the face, his hand just slipped." Bret said sarcastically. "You hit him, too. I don't know what's wrong with you guys. It's fucking frustrating to watch you two. You both have to grow up." I grabbed my book bag and walked out of his room to the living room. I started looking through Dr. Reilly's books. I knew Brett wouldn't wait very long to join me. "Billy," Brett said softly. "Listen... I just worry about you, okay? We both know what goes on at that house. How long before Dustin decides to take out his frustrations on you? He's already getting meaner. Surely you can see that. Sure, he used to be nice, but he's changing Billy. You can't just sit back and listen to somebody call you a worthless piece of crap without it hurting you. I'm just afraid that he's going to take it out on you because you just happen to be there." "Brett, I think I can take care of myself. I don't need you to be my bodyguard and I don't need you to tell me who I should have for my friends. I love you but I don't need you to run my life. Fuck. The last thing Dustin needs right now is for me to abandon him. He needs me." "Well I need you too, okay? And I don't need you to end up back in the fucking hospital because of that son of a bitch." "Hey! Do I let him call you a bastard?" I said angrily. Brett looked confused. "Well then, don't call him names either! What the fuck is happening to you Brett? When did you get so selfish?" "I'm not being selfish!" "Yes you damn sure are! You're being a selfish brat who won't share his toys. Only this time the toy is me. This is exactly why I got mad at you before. I don't belong to you so quit acting like I'm your property!" "I'm just looking out for you! You want to be friends with Dustin? Fine! Go ahead and be friends with him! I don't care! Just don't come crying to me when he decides to break your other arm!" "You just can't stand to see me do something that you don't approve of! You're not my boss!" Brett scowled fiercely at me. "You fucking traitor. I let you sleep in my bed. I took care of you when your whole fucking world fell apart. I look out for you and try to stop you from doing something that might ruin your life. And this is the thanks I get? You accuse me of being selfish? You accuse me of being a brat? Well, fuck you too! Billy, just leave, okay. You can come back when you learn to treat me with some goddamn respect!" "Fine! I don't want to be here with you anyway! You know what?" My voice cracked. "I thought you were my best friend! I loved you more than anything in the world, and this is what I get for it! Treated like a fucking toy and thrown out when I don't go along with every thing you say. Well, you know what? I hate your lousy stinking guts, you bastard!" Brett reacted the way I figured he would. My words hit him harder than I could have with my fist. Unfortunately, our fight came at a very bad time. "William Aaron Roberts!" A voice came from behind me. I knew right away who it was. "How dare you speak that way in my house!?! How dare you say those things to my son!?!" I turned around to see Dr. Reilly. Her face was twisted with anger. I had never seen her so furious. "You leave this house immediately!" She said sternly. "I was already on my way out!" I said defiantly. "And you know what? Maybe before you start looking at other people's kids and telling people what they're doing wrong you should look at yourself and see what a selfish little brat you're raising yourself!" With that I walked out through the kitchen and slammed the back door. I stormed through the woods to my kicking tree. I kicked it angrily over and over until my foot was sore. Then I walked to Dustin's stump and sat down. It was way too late to decide that I wasn't going to cry about what had happened. Tears had been flowing since I slammed that door. "Why did I do that?" I said out loud to no one. "What the fuck did I do that for? Now Brett hates me and it's my own fucking fault!" I bawled. At the time that I was saying the words, I felt so right. I felt like I was only saying what needed to be said. But now, all I felt was my guts being ripped right out of me. I was torn up inside. I was angry with myself, angry at Brett, angry at God. I sat there on that stump for who knows how long. There was no one to turn to. There was no one to comfort me. Dad was fifty miles away. Mom wouldn't understand. Grandma was dead. God didn't care. Then I realized that there was somebody who might understand. I walked toward Dustin's house. Before I got through the woods, I came up with my plan. I wiped my eyes and moved on. When I reached Dustin's backyard, I turned toward the little trailer next door. My mind was made up. I knocked on the door and waited. Before too long, Mike answered. "Hey there kiddo. Whoa, what's the matter with you? You look like shit." Mike said. "Is Dustin here?" I asked. "No, his sister took him to Wal-Mart not long ago. What happened?" I pushed my way inside his door and sat down on a chair, the very chair where Dustin and Mike had done it in. I threw my book bag on the floor and sat with my elbows resting on my knees, staring at the floor. I had intended to stay unemotional, but my tears started to come back. "Billy... Tell me what happened." Mike said, kneeling down next to me. I couldn't look at him while I was crying, so I stared at the floor. "Your stupid fucking plan to help Dustin just cost me my best friend." I said angrily. "What?" Mike exclaimed. "Billy, what are you talking about?" "I told Brett about how I made up with Dustin. And we got into a big fight. And he said I was going to end up getting hurt. And I told him to mind his own business. And we ended up getting mad and now he fucking hates me!" I managed to get it all out before I started bawling again. "Billy... Jeez... I didn't want you to do anything like that. I just wanted Dustin to have... This is terrible." "He called me a no good queer. And he said he hated me. And he said he was going to fucking kill me." I lied. "Jesus, Billy." "Then his mom came home, and she kicked me out of their house, and she said to never come back." "Oh, fuck..." Mike said. "Well we've got to do something. You want me to go talk to them?" I grabbed Mike's arm. "I just need somebody to stay with me." I said. I moved my hand slowly toward Mike's belt buckle. "I just need somebody to love me." I cried. Mike's hands stopped mine. "What do you think you're doing?" He said. "Mike, please... I just need you to love me. I need somebody to love me." "Billy, no. Listen, I know you're hurt, but trust me, this isn't the way to deal with it. Look, I know what it's like to have your best friend turn on you. But if you did what you were thinking about doing with me, or anybody else, just because your feelings are hurt... Trust me, you'd regret it." I pulled my hands away from Mike, curled myself up on his chair and just bawled away. I didn't care how stupid I looked. Before I felt like my guts had been ripped out, now I felt like my heart and lungs had been pulled out right along with them. I sat there and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Mike brought me a can of Coke. "Here, drink this. It will help you feel better." He said. I took a sip. It felt cold and crisp as it made its way through my throat. I looked up at Mike. "Thanks," I said weakly. "Billy, I can't help but feel responsible for what happened to you today. I want to help you, if I can." Mike said. "I feel like such an idiot." I said. "I can't believe I tried to do what I did." "That's why I stopped you. The last thing you needed was that to fuck up your life even more. I might have made a mistake with Dustin, but I'll be damned if I'm going to repeat that mistake with you. You just need to calm down and get a hold of yourself. I certainly wouldn't suggest you try to go back over there all full of emotion. That would just lead to another fight." "So what do I do?" I asked. "Go home. Go to sleep. Wake up and try to work it out tomorrow. That might be good advice, it might be bad advice. I don't know. I've never met Brad, so I don't know how he'll react." "His name's Brett." I said. "Okay... Brett. Billy, don't worry about what happened here today. You can always come here if you need to. I want to be your friend. What happened will be just between me and you. Like our talk in Morgantown, okay?" "I guess." I said. I pulled myself out of the armchair, grabbed my book bag and walked to the door. "I better get home. My mom will probably be home soon. Thanks for being here Mike. I'm sorry I tried to... well... you know." "It's okay. You just remember, if there's anything I can do..." "Yeah." I said. I walked slowly back up through the woods to the intersection of our paths. I stood there for a minute, unsure of which way I should go. I decided to turn toward home. The path seemed much longer than usual. It felt like my shoes were filled with lead. When I unlocked the door and walked into our kitchen, I checked the answering machine. There were three messages. Could it be? Would there be... I pressed the play button. "Good Evening Mr. Roberts, I'm calling on behalf of Americans for a Telemarketer Free World! For only a small donation of..." I pressed delete. The machine moved on to the next message. "Hey Billy! It's Joey. I've got to tell you something! You won't believe it! Call me." Hmmm... I hadn't seen Joey since school ended. While it was nice to hear from him, I was disappointed. I saved the message and moved on to the third. "Billy, it's mom. I'm going to be late tonight. I have good news! Daddy's coming home on Friday! We're very excited!! Be sure to take a bath and get to bed on time so you'll be ready for volleyball tomorrow! Bye bye!!" Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!!! While I should have been excited to find out about dad coming home, my heart felt like it had been put back in only to drop down through my knees. And the phone didn't ring the rest of the night. I sat naked in the tub with the portable phone right where I could reach it. I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner with that phone within reach. And I fell asleep on the couch with it on the table beside me. But in spite of all that, the phone never rang. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You mean we waited three weeks for that?!?!?! Trust me. You are much better off for having waited. The first direction I went with this chapter was so terrible that Billy himself said, "Wow, do we sound cheesy or what?" Sometimes you just have to listen to your characters. Well, from one situation to another. Just when Billy fixes one relationship, another one falls apart. There are many ways we can go in Chapter 13. I can tell you that Chapter 13 is very big, and very important. I'm not making any promises for the break this time. I can tell you that we will probably skip ahead a year or so when we get to Part Five. We'll move out of age 14 to age 15 or 16. Then it will be up to the nifty archivist to determine where the story belongs, because they won't exactly be "young friends" anymore. I want to thank everyone who came to the niftywriters chat a few weeks ago. I had a good time and I enjoyed sharing with readers and writers alike. Remember, you don't have to go to a chatroom to ask me questions about WAR or how I write or who influenced me. I've answered many questions via email over the last year. My address is the same: vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com Well, next time, we'll wrap up Part Four with Chapter 13 - Welcome Home. See you then!