Date: Sun, 06 Jul 2003 00:23:44 -0400 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 4 - Chapter 5 Warning: This chapter is not for the weak at heart. W.A.R. Part Four - Rehabilitation Chapter Five: Brett and Dustin by Jeff Wilson The unthinkable happened. Dr. Reilly left Brett and me alone for the first time in a week! I guess mom realized that I was going to be okay. I really did feel like a brand new boy. I had been so buried by all of my problems and anger that I forgot what it was like to feel like myself. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I could smile again. I could stand to look into the green eyes that were looking back at me. Funny... All that time, I thought I was hating my dad, when the person who I really hated was the one in the mirror. But if my dad could love me, and if Brett could love me, even when I was at my worst, then I could love me too. The anger and bitterness that I had felt just a week before now seemed so far away. I had been so sure that I would never be happy again. I could smile again without having to force myself. It felt like a cloud that had been over me had finally decided to move on. For all the time we had wanted to have the house to ourselves, now that we had it, we didn't really do much. I was laying on the bed with just my old night shorts and a ratty t-shirt with no sleeves. Brett was working on something on his computer, wearing just a pair of boxer shorts. It just felt like a lazy day. Then the doorbell rang. "Just ignore it." I said. "I'd better answer. Mom's expecting a package from UPS soon." Brett said as he slipped a shirt on and a pair of shorts before he headed for the door. I slipped out of my night clothes and into my shorts and shirt when I thought I heard yelling. I decided to find out what was the matter. "Just tell me if he's here!" I heard Dustin's voice echo up the stairs. "What's it to you?" Brett said in a mean voice that didn't suit him at all. "Hey!" I yelled as I walked down the steps. "Good grief, just calm down." "Billy!" Dustin said. "I need to talk to you!" "Fine." Brett closed the door sternly. "We can talk in the living room." Dustin looked at Brett and scowled. "This doesn't concern you. This is between me and Billy." Brett scowled back. "Yeah right! Gonna try to fill his head up with more of that crap you told the cops, huh? Well no way! I'm staying with you." "Fine!" Dustin said angrily. "We'll talk in the living room." We all walked into the living room and each sat down. Brett sat in his mom's chair. Dustin sat on the couch and I sat in the recliner. "How's your dad?" Dustin asked. Brett sighed loudly. "He's fine. Why did you come here, Dustin?" I said, trying to remain nice. "Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the argument we had in school the other day. I know that things have been hard for you and I shouldn't have acted like a jerk." "You got that right." Brett said. "Shut up!" Dustin said. "No! I don't have to! This is my house and if I don't want to shut up I don't have to! So there!" Brett spoke in that mean voice that didn't suit him again. "Brett, please. Let him talk." I said, trying to keep the conversation civil. "Thank you." Dustin said. "Anyway... I know that he thinks that I'm responsible for you breaking your hand." Dustin jerked his head in Brett's direction, prompting Brett to give a disgruntled grunt. "But I want to know what you think." "Dustin..." I started. "Billy. I have to know. I know what happened in that bathroom. I've told you what happened in that room. You and I were the only ones that were there. You've known me longer than anybody. Why would I do something to hurt you when life had just kicked you in the balls?" "Because you're an asshole! That's why!" Brett was no longer able to contain his anger. "I used to feel sorry for you! You know that? I know your sister beats you up! I know your dad is the fucking town drunk! He's probably slapped you around a few times too! And your mom! Ha! If she isn't the biggest bitch in town, I don't know who is! I used to feel sorry for poor pathetic Dustin. So I'd be all nice to you and everything when Billy would bring you along to do stuff. I figured if Billy liked you then you couldn't be that bad. But you know what? I found out that in a family of losers, you're the biggest loser of all!" "Quit ripping on my family, asshole!" "You know what, you're jealous of me!" Brett snapped. "What!?!" Dustin said, almost laughing at the thought. "You're jealous! I have more money than you. I have more friends than you! And most importantly, Billy likes me more than you! You thought you could split us up back at Christmas. When my life was hell and everything was falling apart. That's another reason why I hate you! Because you didn't come after me when everything was normal. You took advantage of the worst time in my life and tried to turn Billy against me! Well it didn't work, did it? So now, you're trying to do it again, only this time, it's Billy who's life has gone to hell. But it's not going to work because I'm on to you!" "Wow... You really believe the shit that's coming out of your mouth, don't you? You conceited little bastard! You think I care that your mom makes more money than my family? At least I know who my father is. You think you're so fucking important. I tried to take advantage of you? Yeah, sure! Everybody wants to beat up poor little Brett who doesn't have a dad! Boo hoo hoo! Who really cares? Nobody, that's who!" "Shut up, dick!" Brett said, but Dustin was on a roll. "You want to know what felt really good, Brett? Billy's birthday party. That time when you threw that bowling ball in the gutter and cried and threw a temper tantrum like the spoiled little brat that you are! That felt even better than hitting you, because for once important, perfect, smart Brett Reilly lost and stupid, poor, insignificant Dustin Smith won! Watching you make an ass of yourself in front of the whole town was the highlight of my life! And the fact that I gave you a black eye was just icing on the cake! And sure, I was mad when you hit Billy. I tried to tell him that you were a jerk. I couldn't understand why he'd want to hang out with you after that. It pisses me off that he can't see you for what you really are, a selfish greedy little bastard!" "Oh really? Really? You know something, I don't care what you think. You just admitted that you're a jealous little son of a bitch. It's over Dustin! You lose! Billy loves me and not you! We're together and you're so fucking jealous that it's sickening!" "What do you mean you're together?" "It means we love each other and you lose! Understand? Billy loves me and not you! Billy wants to be with me and not you! Me, not you! Me! So fuck off!" "Actually, right now, I don't want to be with either of you." I said angrily and bolted up out of my chair and out the door. I wasn't just angry, I was so pissed off that I was literally seeing red. I wanted to hurt something, bad. I couldn't believe that Brett had acted like such a jerk. He didn't even care about what he was doing. He was so determined to win his fight with Dustin that he took my feelings, he took my very heart, and he used me. That's, how I felt, I felt used. Cheap. It was like all I was to Brett was something that belonged to him. I was something that he could flaunt. Like I was his property or something. Well I wasn't going to just stick around and let that happen. They could fight all they wanted, I was going home. I stopped along the way to my house and found my kicking tree. I kicked it about twenty times before continuing on the way to my house. I found the key hidden under the porch swing cushion and opened up the back door. I stormed into my room and slammed the door. Then I opened it up and slammed it again just for good measure. I grabbed my pillow and threw it across the room. It landed on top of my dresser and knocked a picture onto the floor. The glass broke and shattered all over the floor. I walked over and looked at the mess. I knew which picture it was before I even saw it. It was the picture of me and dad on our camping trip last year. "Oh no... Not that one..." I muttered as I pulled the picture from the mess. It was scratched and ruined. "Aw man... Why did it have to be that one?" I started to cry. "It could have been any one but that one..." I looked in the mirror at the pathetic little boy inside it. I mumbled again, but not to myself this time. "Why does my life have to be so screwed up? Huh, God? What did I ever do to you? You killed my grandma. You gave my dad a stroke! You made me... well... you made me gay so everyone will hate me when they find out! I thought you were supposed to care about people. Well? Where's the help? Just when I'm finally starting to feel better, just when I'm finally starting to feel good about myself again, you do this to me! Why did you even make me if you don't like me?" I looked in the mirror again. There I was with Dustin standing behind me. Great, not only did I just yell at God, now I'm going crazy and having that weird vision again. "So you and him are together, huh?" "AH!!" I turned around quickly to see that Dustin really was standing there! My heart about jumped right through my chest. "Dustin! You scared the shit out of me! How did you get in here?" "You left your door open, dumb ass. So, how long were you keeping your little secret from me? Huh? How long were you just playing me along like some kind of god damn dope while you and the bastard were having a good long laugh about it?" "What are you talking about, Dustin? It wasn't like that..." "You probably sat back and laughed about it all while you were blowing each other... Stupid Dustin thinks he's actually my friend! Ha ha! What an idiot! I know! I'll pretend I'm straight and then get him to sleep with me naked and the jack off all over him! Won't that be hilarious!?!?" "You know that's not what happened!" "Shut up!! You miserable fucking dick! You ruined my life!! I would have never... If I'd have... You... I fucking hate you!!!" "Dustin! Please!" "Please what? Please don't tell everybody that you're gay? Please don't be mad at you for being a god damn liar? Oh please, Dustin! Don't tell my dear old mom and my crippled dad that I like to suck Brett's big fat dick!" "You wouldn't!" "You know what... I used to think that too... I used to think, there's no way I'd betray Billy the way he did to me that day at the baseball game. There's no way I'd humiliate someone the way you humiliated me in front of the whole god damn town. But now, anything goes! See you later, asshole." Then he turned to go out the door. In a panic, and without any hope left, I whispered, "If you tell on me, then I'll tell on you and Mike!" Dustin stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned back to face me again. Then he walked up to me and grabbed me by the shirt. "What did you say?" "I know, Dustin. I know all about you and Mike having sex last Saturday. I saw you through the window. I saw you fuck him and then take your white stuff and use it to let him fuck you. So you know I'm not lying. You tell people about me and Brett, then I'll tell about you, and Mike will go to jail." Dustin let go of me. He looked around, a strange, angry and sort of confused look in his face. His face was as red as his hair. He looked like the whole world had just crashed down on him. I knew his deepest darkest secret, and I was ready to use it against him. Then out of nowhere, he kicked my broken arm. I screamed in pain as I dropped down to my knees and clutched my arm. I was more shocked than hurt by it, and it hurt worse than when I broke my eye socket. "Oh, did that hurt? Good!!! It didn't hurt nearly as bad as what I'll do to you if you tell anybody about me and Mike! You hear me? Fine, I won't tell anyone about you and the bastard, but if you tell anybody about Mike then I'll kill you, you hear me? I'll fucking kill you! As for you and me, we're through. It's over. I don't ever want to see you again. I don't want to even know that you exist! You hear me, you fucking asshole? I hate your fucking guts! Stay the hell away from me! You hear me?" I just sat there holding on to my throbbing arm and trying desperately to keep him from having the satisfaction of making me cry. I was in real danger of passing out, it hurt so badly. "I said did you hear me!?!?" He yelled, leaning down at me, almost getting in my face. I nodded. "Good!" Then he turned to walk out of the house again. But he stopped and looked back one last time. "Oh, and one more thing... Mr. Piss the bed... I really was telling you the truth in the hospital. You broke your own arm exactly the way I said. But now that I know what I know about you, I wish that I had done it! You make me sick." I sat there on my knees as he walked away. I heard the kitchen door slam shut and then I finally allowed myself to cry. The pain in my chest hurt far worse than my arm did. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Should I use one of my trademark long closers to explain myself here? Heh heh... I will explain one thing, since it never really comes up again. Dustin's actions at the end, while disturbing, are understandable because we know exactly where he learned them. Especially the way he insists that Billy answer him. If you remember back to Cold Winter, Chapter 1, you know exactly where he learned that. While kicking a boy with a broken arm is a terrible thing to do, we know that actions just as terrible have been committed against him in the past. That doesn't excuse Dustin's actions, but it does help to explain them. There are other things that I could talk about. Brett's rather vicious berating of Dustin, other things... But, I can't really say much without spoiling the story. However, if you'd like to talk with me about it, send an email my way and I'd be happy to answer any questions or address any issues you have about the story. My email is vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com The next chapter will deal will give us a new perspective on Mr. Reilly. And we'll see how Billy deals with everything that has happened. Will this be enough to knock him back down, or has he grown enough to be able to deal with it? We'll see...