Date: Wed, 21 Jan 2004 18:45:54 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part Five, Chapter 11 W.A.R. Part Five - Secrets Chapter 11 -- Restroom Conversations by Jeff Wilson I was walking down the school hallway on Monday when I felt a strong grip on my arm. I got led into the bathroom and finally got to see who was forcibly moving me. "Why did Dustin try to kill himself?" Joey said. He looked me right in the eye. "How do you know about that?" I asked. "It's all over the school. They said Dustin tried to kill himself and that you and Brett have something to do with it." "What? How did people find out?" "Just tell me the truth, Billy! What happened?" "I want to know what you heard first!" I replied. "We all know that he's been in the hospital. We know that his dad's in jail. And then an ambulance was at Brett's house Saturday night and that they took Dustin to the hospital again. They said he shot himself." "He didn't shoot himself! Where the hell do people get their info?" "Well why don't you, wait a minute..." Joey walked over to a stall and kicked the door open. Inside was a boy who I'd seen around but had never talked to. "Get the fuck out of here!" Joey shouted. The boy ran out of the bathroom faster than you could imagine. "Lots of people are guessing, but I think I've got it figured out." Joey said. "I think that Dustin's dad was abusing him. We all know he's a no good drunk. I think that you and Brett figured it out and that he beat up Brett too. That's why he was all banged up last week. Then Brett's mom had Dustin's dad arrested. Then Dustin got mad that his dad got arrested and tried to kill himself because he's a stupid loser." "Yes." I said. "You got it right. That's exactly what happened. You should tell people that." "Don't patronize me Billy." Joey said angrily. "What do you want to know, huh? You want the truth? You want to know about how Dustin's dad was fucking him? You want to know how Brett told Dustin's mom and that she probably beat the shit out of Mr. Smith?" "You mean that Mr. Smith was..." "You want to know how Dustin drank all of his dad's beer and cut his damn wrists and how I found him and thought he was dead? Is that what you want to know, god damnit?!?" "Jesus, Billy..." "You people are so fucking ignorant. You always want to know all the gory little details. I almost watched my friend die, and now everybody wants a damn novel about it! Fuck you, Joe!" "I was just..." "I hate this. Don't you hate people talking all about you and Angela? Don't you hate people talking about you behind your back? Don't you get tired of it? And then you go and do the same damn thing." "Jeez... You don't have to flip out on me, Billy. I'm sorry alright?" Joey said. "I'm sorry too, Joey." I said, calming down. "I guess I still get pissed off sometimes like I used to..." "I can't believe that was happening to Dustin... No wonder he was so fucked up." Joey said. "Brett told and then Dustin's the one that beat him up." "Dustin did that? Wow..." "I don't think that Dustin could take it. I think he thought that everyone was going to be asking questions and finding out about what happened and everybody thinking he was gay." "Why would people think he was gay?" Joey said. "Well, because of what his dad did. Surely somebody was bound to..." "Billy, it's not like he wanted to get fucked up the ass. Dustin's not a fag because his dad did that to him. You'd have to be a real moron to think that." Joey said. "Yeah... We know that you wouldn't want to be friends with a fag." I said. "What's that supposed to mean?" Joey asked. "Nothing." "No, no. What do you mean by that?" "Oh come on Joe. I know what you think about gay people. Always talking about 'queers' and 'fags.' I'm sure you'd have made Dustin feel a lot better talking like that around him." "What, you think I'm some kind of asshole who hates gay people? Billy, Dustin knows I wouldn't do that to him. You think everybody who makes a few jokes or says a few bad words is a homophobe? I'm not! You think I don't know that you and Brett fuck each other?" "WHAT?!?" I shouted. "What the hell are you talking about?" "Oh, come on Billy. It's obvious that you two are doing it." "I've never done anything with Brett!" I said defensively. "Sure you haven't. Come on Billy. This isn't the 50's. No one's going to beat you guys up because you're getting a little ass from each other. I'll bet half the guys in the school have fooled around with each other. Doesn't mean they're gay. But I know that you are. I just didn't want to out you if you weren't ready for that. And I've been friends with you as long as I've known. You're scared for nothing." "So is there anybody in this fucking town who doesn't know that I'm gay?" I said, angrily. "Don't get pissed off about it, Billy. I don't think that everybody knows. I've never told anybody what I thought, and only Emily has ever asked me if I thought that you and Brett were gay." "Emily knows too?" I groaned. "She said you kissed her like her brother. I never knew you kissed her... But she asked me if I thought you were gay. I said I didn't know." Joey replied. "Joe, listen... I can't let anybody else..." "Billy, I'm never going to tell anybody. Like you said, I know what it's like. Ever since I got Angela pregnant people have been talking about us. Like I'll walk into a room and everyone will get real quiet, and then start talking about something else. It's stupid. At least you and Brett don't have to worry about getting pregnant." Joey laughed a little. "Joey, I need you to promise me that you won't tell. If my mom finds out..." "Billy, I promise, okay," Joey said. He held up his right hand, "I, Joseph Lynn McKenzie, swear that I will never tell anyone about you and Brett. There. You happy now?" "Your middle name is Lynn?" I asked. "Well now you know a secret too. And I swear to god that if you tell anybody that I'll hurt you." Joey laughed. "So what happens now?" I asked. "Well, I'm going to take a piss and go to class, late as usual." Joey said. Then he walked up to a urinal and unzipped. While he was going, he stepped back again and obviously was showing me his dick. The thing was, we both knew he was doing it, but it wasn't sexual at all, it was funny. "See, I'm not afraid of you or anything, Billy. Besides, I don't have anything you haven't seen before. Remember that time at the pool? I'm not scared of you or any of that bullshit. I'll always be your friend. I probably think about sex more than you do anyway." Joey zipped up and headed to the door. "Keep me updated on Dustin." "I will." I replied. I should have gone to math class, but I didn't feel like being late, and I was still reeling about Joey. So I decided to just sit there in the bathroom. I went to a corner stall, closed the door and relaxed. I found a book in my bookbag and started reading. When the door opened, I just kept on reading. There were maybe three people who had come in to use the bathroom when I heard the door open and two boys talking. "They said he shot himself." The first boy said. "I heard he cut his wrists," said the second boy. "No," the first boy replied. "Boys don't cut their wrists, they use guns. I read that on the internet." "Oh, if it's on the internet it must be true." The second boy replied. "Well you don't have to be a smart ass. But they said he did try to kill himself. What a loser." "You think he was...You know..." "Him? Oh yeah. Definitely." I wished I could see what they were doing. "Who did they say saved him? It was Reilly, wasn't it?" "No, I heard it was Roberts. I used to be on his pony league team, until he busted his hand up. Wow, he was good. He could have been on the high school team if he hadn't have fucked himself up." I couldn't place the voice with the person. Why didn't I pay more attention to people back then? "What did he do?" the second boy asked. "His dad got sick and he broke his hand. I guess he punched a mirror or something. After that, he was always scared that the ball would hit his hand and he couldn't hit anymore. Even with protection, he couldn't do it." "Do you think he's...you know..." the second boy asked, only this time about me. "No. He's not. He's never joined the Alliance and he's like Miss Winston's favorite student. If he was gay, he'd have joined." The boy I should have known said. "He'd be a good member if he joined. If he gets valedictorian, and gets to give a speech at the graduation... Just imagine what he could do." "Well, it won't happen. Let's get back to class before people think we're doing something in here." "What time do you want to meet after school?" The other boy asked. "My mom's leaving at five to go to work. I'll call after that and we'll have some fun." I heard the door close and I finally exhaled. I sat there feeling a little ashamed. I had just listened in on two boys' conversation that they thought was private. I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me, but I did it to someone else. But it did give me a lot to think about. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Well, another person who knows. How long has Joey known? Who knows. Sometimes other people know us better than we think. Don't ask who those boys were. Billy goes to a very big school, and he's never seen them before that he can remember. Any other questions or comments though, I'll be happy to answer. Here are the addresses: vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com or jkwsquirrel@yahoo.com vicioussquirrel is getting full, so you might want to use jkwsquirrel. I also have the yahoo group you can join! Here's that address: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/squirrelwriter Next Chapter, we'll visit Dustin in the hospital.