Date: Thu, 30 Dec 2004 14:02:40 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: WAR Part 6, Chapter 12 W.A.R. Part Six - Commencement Chapter Twelve -- When it Rains by Jeff Wilson I got fired! I walked in to work at the pizza place and the boss told me that he didn't need me anymore. Just like that. No explanation. No "We'll let you know when we'll need you again." Just, "Make sure you bring your shirts back in." I didn't think I was doing a bad job. Maybe it's just because they didn't need a high school kid who couldn't work the hours they needed. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was because of being gay. I hated thinking like that, but after having the whole school board make up a rule just to get me, I was getting a little paranoid. Well, if I didn't ask, I would always wonder. "Why are you firing me?" "Well, Bill... If it were up to me, I wouldn't." Matt, my manager said. "Then why?" Even though I didn't really like the job, I felt my eyes burning as if they wanted to start their waterworks business. I refused to let them, though. "Well, I shouldn't tell you this, but apparently Mr. Davis doesn't think it's a good idea to have a high school kid working here, since it could be seen as favoritism since he's on the school board and all." I felt a pound of lead hit me in the stomach. "Mr. Davis is on the school board?" I asked. "Well, yeah. Didn't you know that?" "No." I said. Suddenly I wanted to break something. "Well, I only have this shirt for work here. So here you go." I took my work shirt off right there in the office and walked out the door. I felt the cold March air and drizzle hit me immediately as I walked out the door. I didn't care though. My eyes were burning and I really wanted to get my contacts out. I got into Brett's car and drove home. When I walked in the door the last person I wanted to see was the first person I saw. "What are you doing back so early?" Mom asked. "And where's your shirt? Are you sick?" "No, I'm fired." I said angrily. "Fired?" She said in surprise. "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything!" I shouted. "They fired me because they don't want a gay kid working for them." Mom looked at me as if I'd just told her that the moon is made out of marshmallows. "Billy, they can't fire somebody because of that. It's against the law. Even if it's disgusting and awful, it's not a reason you can fire somebody." "Well, it seems to me that the laws don't matter anymore, mom. This... That stupid dance rule... When are you going to see that it's not my imagination and that people really are out to get me?" "I've told you before, you're being silly!" "Oh forget it." I said. "I'm going to Brett's." "What about your homework?" Mom asked. "I did it before I went to work. Duh!" I replied. "Don't get smart with me, Billy." "Don't get stupid with me then, mother." "And you wonder why you got fired." I had been walking away, but that made me stop. Why was mom so determined to piss me off? "I don't smart off to people who treat me like a person. I only get smart with you because you always treat me like crap." "Excuse me? I do believe you have a roof over your head and clothes on your... Well... Not on your back right now... But you have clothes to wear. And food to eat. You're not going to starve because you lost your job. You're not going to lose your house because you can't pay rent. You still have a home here. And you think I treat you badly? I'm the best friend you've got right now, boy." I wanted so bad to say something back. But I knew it was pointless. I just walked to my room to grab a shirt. As I walked back I found mom sitting in her chair. "Are you going to look for another job?" She asked. "Brett's going to want his car back eventually..." "Yeah... Well, it's not like you're going to give me gas money and insurance money and all that anyway." "I can help a little until you find something." "Right." I said. Sure she could. "I'm going out. See ya." "Billy..." "Yes?" I said, impatiently. "If you were... I mean... If this is discrimination... Even though that sounds ludicrous... But if the only reason they fired you is because of... your... problem... Well... You know we'll help you out... If you need." "Sure... Thanks." I said. I walked outside and though it wasn't raining yet, it was trying to. I drove up to Brett's house and walked inside. Brett wasn't on the couch. That was unexpected! He wasn't supposed to put any weight on his leg for three or four more weeks. I walked into the living room and looked around. The television and the computer were on. So he had to be around somewhere. Then I heard the toilet flush. Then I heard the sound of a chair being dragged along the floor. After about five minutes I watched as Brett hobbled into the living room, pushing a chair in front of him and trying to walk using only his left leg. He was wearing only a pair of boxers and he looked like he hadn't bathed in days. His face was scruffy, his hair was greasy, and he looked dirty all over. "You shouldn't be walking yet." I scolded. Brett jumped and about fell down when he saw me. I had so much fun startling him. "What are you doing here? I thought you had to work." Brett said, regaining his composure. "I got fired." "What?!?!" Brett exclaimed as he inched his way closer to the couch. I helped him back to the couch. "I got there today and they told me they didn't want me anymore." "That sucks. What are you going to do?" "Don't know. So what were you doing walking around?" "I had to go to the bathroom, if you must know." Brett said. "Don't you have some way of going without walking all the way across the house?" "I refuse to take a crap in my living room, Billy." Brett explained. "Well better that than trying to walk on a leg that you snapped in half less than a month ago." I scolded. I could still see his bones sticking out of his leg in my mind. "Well, it hardly hurts anymore. Except for my knee and ankle, it feels fine. It's felt fine since I told my mom that I wasn't going to take that medicine anymore." "That's just because she's giving you your medicine in your food." I said, joking. Brett looked lost in thought. "You know... She just might be..." He said. "That would explain why it stopped hurting after I told her... That bitch!" "I was only kidding, Brett." "I'll bet you knew all about it, didn't you." "No, I told you I was just joking." "My mother is drugging me... That sucks. Oh well... Just as long as I don't end up like Dustin. Hey, why did they fire you? I thought you were doing well there." "I was. I think it's because of us, actually. The guy who owns the place is on the school board." "I didn't know that!" Brett said. "Me neither. This totally blows. I hope I can find another job." Brett scratched his leg between the bottom of his boxers and his cast. "Did your arm itch when you broke it?" "Yeah, but you're not supposed to scratch it. It just makes it worse." I scolded. "Oh well!" Brett said, continuing his scratching, then moving up his leg and scratching other things. "You don't do that in public do you?" I asked. "What?" Brett asked. "Scratch your nuts like that." I replied. "You've never had to scratch your balls before?" Brett laughed. "They itch sometimes, you know." "It's raining now. Maybe I should throw you out on the lawn for a while. You smell." "No I don't!" "When was the last time you washed?" "Last week. But who cares? Who the heck is going to see me?" "Ewww... You haven't washed in a week?" "You act like you've never gone a week without a shower." "I haven't!" I replied. "I'll bet your hair is all greasy, too." "Shut up!" Brett replied. "Okay, I'll wash you." I said. "Oh no you won't!" Brett insisted, but I had already left to find she supplies in the bathroom. I returned with a few towels, soap, and a bowl. I filled the bowl with hot water, then returned to find Brett under a cover. "I'm sleeping." He said. "Just leave me be." I pulled the blanket off him and threw it on the floor. "Awwwww... Come on Billy..." "I'm not going to have my boyfriend smelling like dirty socks. What day is this for the boxers? Three? Four?" "None of your business." Brett answered. I tugged the boxers off and left him wearing nothing but the big plaster cast on his leg. His boxers were giving off an odor that I cannot describe in public. I dipped the wash cloth in the water, soaped it up, and then started on his good leg. I washed his calf, and then his foot. I smiled up at him, and he smiled back. I guess he was starting to like the idea of having me wash him. I dipped the cloth in the water and then washed from his knee up to his hip, coming dangerously close to his rising dick. I lifted his leg and washed the underside, and then dried it off gently. Brett leaned back and closed his eyes. The rain pattered against the roof and the windows. I rinsed the cloth off and then went to work on what I could see of his thigh on the broken leg. I started near his cast and then worked my way up to the hips that had made me feel so good so many times. "Turn over." I said. Brett twisted and turned his body until he was laying belly down on the couch. His firm butt mesmerized me no matter how many times I'd explored it. "I'd better take my clothes off so I won't get them all wet." I said. I peeled off my shirt and then my shorts and underwear. Brett watched me and smiled. I rinsed the cloth again and then kneeled next to him by the couch. I scrubbed his butt cheeks and then between them. Brett had his eyes closed and just enjoyed feeling my hands on his body. "Has anyone ever told you that you have the world's best ass?" I said, trying to keep myself from getting too turned on. Brett just responded by moving his good leg up toward his body, exposing his underside even more to me. Brett was trusting me with everything. I carefully scrubbed between his legs and then around his hole. I had to struggle to pull myself away from his ass and used a new wash cloth to scrub down his back and shoulders. I enjoyed feeling the hills and valleys of his back, the ravine of his backbone... I felt the muscles in his shoulders flex and relax beneath my fingers. I closed my eyes and just felt him. Enjoying every inch of him in a way I'd never done before. Brett reached behind himself to squeeze my ass gently. He just needed to make a connection with me. The rain came down even harder outside. The sound of the drops spattering against the house filled my ears. I had Brett turn over and then I washed his face and arms. I thought about shaving him again, but I figured he could handle that. I washed under his arms and gave him a long slow sniff. Sometimes I just have to smell Brett. As if I'm taking the very essence of him into me. I rubbed his armpits with extra care. He had more hair under there than I would have liked. I shaved mine, but Brett liked to have some hair there. I washed his chest, feeling the smooth and firm muscles of his chest. I couldn't help but give his nipple a gentle suck. He was getting a little more hair around his nipples now. My chest was just as smooth as it had been when I was twelve. I worked my way down to his belly. Dustin may have had better muscles in his abs than Brett, but Dustin worked out more than Brett did. Brett's belly was cuter though. It was just so soft and tender. Brett was just the slightest bit ticklish around his belly button and under his ribs. I sometimes liked to get him there just to hear him giggle like a little kid. I scrubbed below his navel and started into that place on him where the hair gets a little thicker and leads down from his belly to his pubes. Funny, I was lucky to have some hair on my head and around my dick, a light bit from my belly button down, and a light dusting on my legs that was about it. Plus what I had was dark blond and that made it even harder to see. I found out that I got that from my mom's side of the family. But Brett wasn't a bear either. He just had normal hair on his body, but compared to me, he was pretty fuzzy. I liked it though. I washed down to his pubes, then rinsed and washed his dick and balls. He was hard and that made him much easier to wash. Finally, I had finished his bath. I ran off to the bathroom and returned with a fresh bowl of water for his hair. Brett's hair tended to get greasy if he didn't wash it for a few days. Sometimes I wondered how he'd look if his mom or I didn't keep on him. I rinsed his hair and scrubbed him up with shampoo. The hardest part was not getting the couch soaking wet. Finally, I grabbed a towel and dried his hair and body off. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" I asked. "You can do that anytime. God, I love you Billy." "I just gave you a bath is all. Was it better than the one that nurse gave you?" "I'm just glad the nurse wasn't naked." Brett shuddered. "Me too." Brett moved his body toward the back of the couch. "Come lay down with me for a while. I just want to be with you for a while." I lay down beside him and we rested together for a while, holding each other and gently kissing every once in a while. We just needed to touch each other for a while. "You smell nice." Brett said. "Is that something new you're wearing?" "I only want to be wearing you, my little Bretty" Brett laughed. "Don't you ever call me that again." "What, Bretty?" "No. Little." I reached down his body and gently caressed his privates. "You're definitely not little." I said. "I used to be. I remember when I used to only come up to your neck." "I came up to your neck last week... But that was different! I'm glad you grew. Now there's more of you to love." I said, gently stroking his back. "There'd be more of me if I gained fifty pounds. Would you still love me if I was fat and lost all my hair and that?" "I'm going to love you until I die, Brett. And that means that we will end up old and fat and bald together." "Do you know how lucky we are?" Brett kissed me gently and everything just felt so perfect and right that we eventually fell asleep holding each other close. The sound of raindrops filled my ears and Brett's love filled my heart. I didn't ever want to be anywhere else but right there with him in my arms. "Billy, wake up." I slowly roused myself from the most pleasant comfortable feeling I'd ever felt, and then realized it wasn't Brett but Dr. Reilly who had spoken, and instantly that warm and wonderful feeling was replaced with the realization that I was buck naked with my arms and legs tangled up with her buck naked son. "Oh! Jen..." I said, quickly coming to my senses. "It's not what it..." "Shh..." She scolded softly. "He's still sleeping. You need to get dressed, it's late. You're going to need to get home." She walked out of the room and left me to untangle myself from Brett's body. I quickly put my clothes back on and headed out to the kitchen. It was almost nine o'clock. I walked out to the kitchen to find her putting away groceries. It was still raining outside. "So you finally convinced him to take a bath." She said without looking at me. "Yeah. He was starting to stink." I replied. "And you didn't want your clothes to get wet?" She asked. "Yeah." I replied. "I know it shouldn't be a big deal... You probably do that all the time..." "I'm sorry if I..." "No. Don't you ever apologize for loving Brett. I'm the one who needs to apologize." "Jen, it's okay. I shouldn't have..." "It's just..." She interrupted. "Before... When it was just thoughts, it was such a terrible thing. 'My little boy is a homosexual, he thinks.' It was just a phase, I'd say. I knew better in my head. But my heart still held out hope." I felt my own heart sinking as I listened to her. After everything else that had happened, I couldn't take having her abandon me too. "But as I saw how you two were together. How much you loved him... It seemed okay. Not what I'd have wished for him, but not something horrible. I know he's your lover. I know it. It's just that seeing you two like that... It made it real in here." She held her hand to her chest. "There's no going back." "I was just the opposite." I said. "I knew in my heart that I was meant to be with him long before my head would let me do it." "This is more complicated than I thought it would be. I thought I would be this wonderful, understanding mother. I thought I was so wonderful and accepting. But then I see you and my baby in a moment and I..." "You raised the best, most wonderful, most awesome guy on the planet. You are a good mom. You have to be, because if you weren't then Brett wouldn't be the man he is today. God, do you know how much I love him? I'd die without him." "Mom is that you?" Brett's voice came from the living room. We walked into the living room and found a now clothed Brett resting on the couch. "Oh, hey mom." Brett said. "Billy! Why... What on earth are you doing here?" "Don't bother." I laughed. "She caught us." "Caught us doing what? I don't know what you're saying." Brett lied. "Caught you being a couple." Dr. Reilly said. "I have some things to do upstairs. Billy, see you tomorrow." She left us to ourselves and Brett laughed self-consciously. "Well... That was weird." He said. "So, did you wake up in time to..." "Nope, I'm pretty sure she saw everything." I said. "Everything." "Oh... Well, that's going to make things awkward for a week. Nothing of mine she hasn't seen I guess." "Better your mom than mine." I replied. "Guess I better get going." I kissed him on the forehead and inhaled the smell of his hair before started heading to the door. "Hey, Billy! Wait." Brett called. "Do you think you can do me a favor?" "Of course." I replied. "Well, it's a favor you might not want to grant, and that's okay." "What is it?" "Well it's just that I'm so bored... There's nothing to do but sit here on my butt and play video games and do homework. It sounded fun at first, but I'm going out of my mind." "You want me to bring you over my video games?" I asked. "Actually... Do you think you could bring over your dad's old coin collection?" Brett asked. "Oh..." I said. I felt torn. I had almost never turned Brett down about anything, but this was different. "You don't have to. I know what it means to you." "Well... You have to promise me that you won't mess it up." "I'll be careful." Brett replied. "If anything happens to it, I'll never forgive you." I warned. "Nothing will happen. I swear." He promised. "Okay. I'll bring it over tomorrow." "Cool. You're the best, Billy." "I know." I replied. I drove Brett's car home, making sure to be careful on the wet road. I felt more nervous about giving Brett dad's coin collection than I did about wrecking Brett's car. After all the warnings dad had given about it, I had put it right into my closet when mom gave it to me. I walked around the house to the back door and stopped in the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and found some milk. I stood there with the door open and just drank it out of the bottle and put it in the fridge without putting the lid back on. I thought I would just head on to bed, but I was surprised to see mom sitting in her chair with a large book on her lap that wasn't the Bible. "Welcome back." She said. "Yeah..." I said. "Come here and look at this." She said. I looked at the book and realized that it was a photo album. There were pictures of me when I was a little kid in it. I knelt down beside her chair and we looked through the pages together. "Thank god for braces." I said, noticing the gap between my front teeth. "I thought you were adorable." Mom said. "All mothers think their child is cute, mom. It's a natural instinct to keep you from killing us when we're babies." "Your father was so proud of you. You were always so bright. Just like him. This was his favorite picture of you." She pointed to a picture of me laying asleep on dad's lap. I must have been three years old or so. "You used to just climb right up onto his lap and fall asleep. He loved that so much." She turned to a different page and I thought I saw myself working on a motor. "I don't remember doing that." I said. I must have been eleven or so. "You didn't. That's your father." Mom explained. "Wow... Didn't recognize him like that." I said. "You two are so alike it's scary sometimes. I miss him so much..." "You have David." I said. "Billy, I don't know how many times I can explain it to you. David is not your father. You never get over the love of your life. I love David, but I'll never stop loving your father." "You could have waited, you know." I said. Letting months of frustration finally come out. "You could have let me adapt to what was going to happen." "Billy, if I'd have waited for you to be ready I'd never get married again." "I don't see how that's a bad thing." I said. "You really hurt me. Dad wasn't even gone for a month and you were all happy and stupid. I needed you, and you didn't help me because you were too busy worrying about 'David this' and 'David that.' I wasn't ready for somebody new. But you didn't care about my feelings. You just expected me to pretend that everything was great and that I didn't have a great big hole in my heart." "I did care, Billy. I did. But you pushed me away. You didn't allow me to help you. I'd have had to have been blind not to see that you were suffering. Maybe I made a mistake in not being able to help you the way you needed. Your father always understood you better than I did." "Why do you hate me?" I asked. "Billy!" Mom said. "I didn't want to be gay, mom. I wanted to be normal. But I'm not. I'm never going to be what you want me to be." "I do not hate you, William Aaron. I love you more than anything in the world." "You sure don't act like it." I said. "You really hurt me when you told all those people about me and Brett. I didn't even know that you knew." "Billy, it was obvious. The way the two of you act around each other... David figured it out almost immediately. I suppose I always knew. At least since you were fourteen I've suspected. I just didn't want to believe it." "Well you should have told me first, mom. Dad did. Dad always knew, too. But he still treated me like his son. He was still proud of me." "I'm proud of you, Billy!" "You're not, mom. You're so worried about that church that you just tossed me. None of the shit that's been happening to me at school and at work would have happened if you had just kept your mouth shut. But you had to impress them so you threw me to the wolves." "Well, I'm not proud of what you are doing with Brett. That's true. I think it's a shame. I think you're throwing away so much. You could have been a wonderful father. But you're giving all of that up to be with another man. Did you ever think about that?" "We can still have kids, mom. Things have changed since you grew up." "But it's not the same. There are so many things to consider. I know you hate to hear it, but it is a sin. Billy if I didn't love you I wouldn't care. I wouldn't try to keep you from making a mistake. But I love you so much, and I'm trying to save you." "You can't save me, mom. That's like saying that I'm going to save you from being a woman. It's not something you had anything to do with, and it's not something that's going to change." "Billy, I'm sorry. But I will never accept that you were born that way. I'll never accept that you can't change." "Well can't you just pretend to accept me then? Please?" "You don't give up, do you?" Mom said. "I take after my mother." I replied. "Well, let's just try this... You don't bring it up, then I won't bring it up." "Don't ask, don't tell, huh?" I said snidely. "Well we need something besides non-stop arguing. A truce. Neither of us wins. We just stop fighting and never talk about it again." "Can Brett come over again?" I asked. "Well, he's not going anywhere for a while yet." "After that, I mean." "We'll see." She replied. I was going to try to convince her to say yes, but then I realized that even her considering it was a big difference from just flat out saying no. So I just said thanks and headed off to bed. Surprisingly, I slept better than I had in months. The steady beat of the raindrops soon put me into a deep sleep. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Well, definately a difference in the mothers in this chapter. Turns out that Jen isn't as accepting as she'd like to be. But Paula isn't as unmovable as Billy thought she was. Maybe the fact that she can now see what her fateful decision has done to her boy is beginning to weigh on her. After all, she knows what being gay can do to a reputation in her community. Billy was just another kid until she exposed him. Now he's "the gay guy" to some people, a label she stuck on him. Second thoughts or a change of heart? Who knows? On to the next chapter, "Dustin the Liar." You will have to wait a little while for that one. We're slowly heading toward the final chapters, and there is still a lot to explore. The prom, the coin collection, and something with Brett that's been below the surface since the very beginning. All waiting in the coming chapters for us to explore! Anyway, feel free to write to let me know what you thought of this chapter. I apologize if it takes some time to get back. Real life is a killer right now. Work work work... Like 60+ hours a week lately. But believe me, every letter is read and greatly appreciated! At this point, they keep me going! vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com or jkwsquirrel@yahoo.com Next time, we'll deal with the red head once and for all and answer everybody's favorite question about him.