Date: Fri, 04 Feb 2005 13:45:26 -0500
From: Jeff Wilson <vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com>
Subject: W.A.R. Part 6, Chapter 15

		      W.A.R. Part Six - Commencement

			Chapter Fifteen -- The Plan

			      by Jeff Wilson


      "You're crazy!"  Dustin said as I won my 19th consecutive Free Cell
game on the computer.  I had called him to discuss plans for my trip with
Brett.

     "Why?"  I asked.  "If Brett really wants to do this then the least I
can do is help him out."

     "Billy, you're driving six hours to meet a guy you don't know anything
about.  I mean, what if he tries something?"

     "Well, all the more reason that I should go with him!"  I replied.
"So are you going to cover for us or not?"

     Dustin sighed.  "Fine...  I'll pretend that you and Brett are staying
over here.  But you realize that you're not going to get away with sneaking
all the way up to Buffalo without somebody finding out."

     "We'll be fine.  You'll have the cell phone number if things get
tight.
  You can always call us and we can figure out something."

     "How are you going to explain missing school?"  Dustin asked.

     I coughed a fake cough.  "What a shame that I have this terrible
cold..."

     "You're so dead."  Dustin replied.

     "So did you talk to Emily?"  I asked.

     "She's pretty mad at me."  Dustin said.  "Why can't she be more like
you?"

     "Like I've never been mad at you?"  I said.

     "But you're easy to understand.  You get mad and you let it out.  I
wish she would."

     "I told Brett that we kissed."  I said.

     "I figured you would."  Dustin said.

     "Yeah."  I said.

     "So did you tell him about what else happened?"

     "I told him what he needs to know."  I replied.  "It wasn't a big
deal, but he'd make it into one.  Especially since it's you."

     "It was funny though."  Dustin said.

     "Well yeah, but that's all it was.  Just fun.  It didn't mean
anything."

     "Oh no, no.  It was just a stupid little thing.  Or rather, a stupid
big thing."

     "Shut up.  All we did was have a little harmless fun.  I can't help
what happened..."

     "Can I ask you something?"

     "I guess."  I replied.

     "Do you like being gay?"

     "I guess."  I said.  "It's a real pain in the ass sometimes."

     "Billy!  Disgusting!"  Dustin laughed.

     "Don't worry, you're not gay, Dustin."

     "That's what I used to say about you."  Dustin replied.

     "Well, what happened didn't happen because I'm gay.  It doesn't mean I
like you either."

     "But I liked it."  Dustin admitted.

     "Well I liked it, too.  It was fun.  But it doesn't make you gay."

     "It's confusing.  I mean, I liked what we did, but I like Emily too.
I just...  I don't know."

     "Dustin, you can be whatever you want to be.  Maybe you're bi."

     "Oh that'd just fit in perfectly with my bipolar disorder too."
Dustin said, sounding irritated at the suggestion.

     "I didn't mean it like that."

     "I know you didn't.  But I don't want to be that either.  That's not
how I ever saw myself."

     "All I know is that you have a great girlfriend who wants to be with
you and you're out having sex with Mike.  You need to make up your mind or
you're going to lose her.  Now let's talk about Friday..."

     So the plan was set.  I was going to drive Brett up to meet his
father, as his "friend."  We were going to "go to Dustin's for the weekend"
and Dustin was going to cover for us.  Brett had gone back to the doctor's
and had a new cast that allowed him to walk on crutches at long last.  He
still had to be very careful as the tendons and ligaments were still tender
after a month of inactivity.

     The most aggravating thing about the trip wasn't how much work I had
to do to come up with a cover story.  That was easy.  The hard part was
Brett's insistence that we not tell his dad the truth about our
relationship.  I knew the reasons for hiding.  I'd hidden myself for four
years.  But it was frustrating because Brett knew how stupid it was to
hide.  But he insisted that we couldn't tell his dad, yet.  So much hiding
was going to get old fast.

     Brett returned to school the Tuesday before our trip.  Everybody was
so happy to see him again.  He spent the day doing what I had done the
first day he was missing.  He told the story of how he broke his leg to
anyone who would listen.  The funny thing though, he conveniently left out
how terrified he had been before he rode.

     He was very tired by lunch time.  But he was happier than he'd been
since he broke his leg.  Brett was definitely a people person.  He needed
to be out and socializing.  There was always somebody who was willing to
help him with his books or to help him to stand up or sit down.  I don't
know why I was worried about him.

     I sat through college European History not really paying much
attention to the problems of the Nazis.  My mind was more on the problems
of the Roberts.  How was Brett doing?  Would he be able to handle going to
meet his dad?  Would we get caught skipping school?  Would he ever tell his
dad the truth about me?  And why was he suddenly so secretive about us?  It
was different having Brett as the one who was trying to hide.  And why had
Miss Winston taken an unexpected sabbatical?  Was she feeling the effects
of the years of fighting the system?  Would I end up like that someday?

     "Mr. Roberts!"  Mr. Hartley shouted.  I jumped as I snapped back to
reality.  The class chuckled and I could see Sarah Taylor looking as if see
were about to explode from pleasure.

     "Yes, sir?"  I said, trying to regain my composure.

     "I asked you a question!  Do you know the answer?"  He snarled.

     "Hitler?"  I guessed.

     "Hitler!?!?"  He asked.  The class exploded into laughter and Mr.
Hartley stormed to his desk.  "No, Mr.  Roberts, 'Hitler' was not the name
of the largest death camp in Poland.  It was Auschwitz!  Where millions of
Jews, gypsies, and yes, homosexuals, were exterminated.  I would think that
someone like you would be especially interested in that."

     "What's that supposed to mean?"  I asked.

     "Don't talk back to me, Mr. Roberts.  Or I'll have you out of this
class so fast your head will spin.  Now, for the rest of the class that was
paying attention..."

     I felt my face get excruciatingly hot.  I knew that I must have been a
deep shade of red, but what could I do?  I knew that he knew about me.  I
could see how he changed the day everybody found out.  But he didn't have
to be mean to me.  I wasn't doing anything to him.  And, watching Sarah
enjoy my predicament just made things worse.  Oh how I wanted to slap
her...

     Things were not better in my physics class with our substitute
teacher.
  The substitute didn't have a clue what she was doing and we basically had
a study hall while she read the notes Miss Winston had left for the class.
Sarah was sure to voice her pleasure that we had a 'decent' teacher at
last, and that she thought she heard her dad talking about one of the
teachers having a mental breakdown.  I avoided the urge to throw my book at
her.

     I was still borrowing Brett's car, so I got to drop off Dustin and
Brett.  I helped Brett into his house and he told me he was going to take a
nap.  My mom was getting more and more insistent that I should have a job,
So I went job hunting that evening.  In my travels, I applied at WalMart,
McDonald's, and Burger King.  I didn't want to work at any of those places,
but I applied to keep the peace with mom.  With more trouble in school, it
was nice to have a truce with mom.  I didn't want to get into another war
with her.

     I stopped by Brett's house after I was done looking for work.  Brett
looked much better than he did before his nap.  I found him in the kitchen
cooking something for his dinner.

     "Anything good?"  I asked, looking in the boiling pot on the stove.

     "Just soup and grilled cheese."  He replied.  "I can make another
sandwich if you want."

     "Nah, I'm just stopping in to say hi."  I said.  "Busy day today,
huh?"

     "Yeah.  It was nice to be back.  I never thought I'd say that about
school."

     "Well, anything was better than being stuck on the couch.  I wonder
what happened to Miss Winston."

     Brett frowned.  "I heard she had a breakdown."

     "I heard that too, but it was Sarah who said it, so I didn't put much
stock in it."

     "Well, I heard it from Emily."

     "Do you suppose it's because of that stupid rule?"

     "Billy, Miss Winston's life doesn't revolve around the school.  She's
had a hard life.  It was bound to catch up with her."

     "I tried to call her, but there was no answer.  I might stop over."

     "That's your decision."  Brett had finished cooking his sandwich and
soup and hobbled along on his good leg and one crutch to get it from the
stove to the table.  He wouldn't let me help him, since he wanted to be
able to do things on his own after a month of depending on others.  After
some effort, he was finally able to sit down and enjoy his dinner.

     "So, what are you going to take with you on Friday?"  I asked.

     "A few days worth of clothes, a few pictures..."  Brett slurped his
soup loudly.  Sometimes I hated to watch him eat.  The boy's table manners
were terrible.

     "Can you eat that without making all that noise?"  I asked.

     Brett slurped even louder than before.  "What noise?"  He asked.
"Anyway, Mom's going to be gone all day Friday and Saturday.  Some
conference.  So I'll have no trouble there.  Mrs. Smith is going to be out
of town too.  So your mom is the one to worry about."

     "As long as she doesn't know I'm skipping school I'll be fine.  She
can't say anything about the weekend.  I love being eighteen."

     "This is going to be great!  Not only do I get to meet my dad, I get
to spend the three whole days with you."

     "Yeah, great."  I said, not nearly as happily as he had said it.

     "You're not still pissed off that I didn't tell my dad that I'm gay,
aren't you?"

     "I'm not mad.  I understand.  Really."

     "You're mad."  Brett said, taking a bite of his sandwich.  "Well, now
you know how it feels."

     "That's not fair."  I said.

     "Hey, I'm not the one who hid from my mom for four years."

     "And you saw what happened when she did find out!  She told the whole
fucking town."

     "Well, I'm just meeting him for the first time, Billy.  I won't lie to
him if he asks.  I'll tell him who you are."

     "Don't ask, don't tell again.  Story of my life now."  I said.

     "Just let me meet my dad without having the extra stuff first Billy.
Then we'll talk about the other issues.  It's weird enough as it is."

     "Okay."  I said.

     Brett finished his soup by picking up the bowl and drinking the
remaining contents.  "What?"  He asked as he put down the bowl.

     "Nothing."  I replied.  How could someone so cute do things so
disgusting?  "So, are you done with the coin collection?"

     "Can I keep it a little longer?"  Brett asked.

     I groaned uncomfortably.  "Brett..."

     "Nothing will happen to it.  It's just fascinating."

     "You know that my dad..."

     "Billy, I know what it means to you.  I've been careful."

     "I guess it's okay."  I said, feeling uneasy about leaving my most
prized possession in the hands of a boy who once lost his wallet for two
weeks before finding it in his locker at school.

     I headed home soon after, since we had school the next day.  When I
got home, mom wanted to know what businesses I'd visited and how things
went.  She wanted me to let her know if there was anything she could do to
help me get a job.  I told her to marry someone who owned a business.

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