Date: Sun, 05 Jun 2005 14:10:42 -0400 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 6, Chapter 21 W.A.R. Part Six - Commencement Chapter 21 - Graduation by Jeff Wilson "Okay... It's okay... It's just a title... It's nothing... It's just that the fucking bitch stole it off me! And the mother fucking asshole... But it's okay..." "Now that's the spirit." Brett said. "Keep telling yourself that while I go kill the jag off for doing this to you." "Brett... I told you. I made a deal." "Billy, I'm not just going to sit here and let you get fucked over. I don't care what kind of fucking deal you made. He's blackmailing you." "See, this is why I didn't want to tell you about the video. I knew you were going to be mad." "Of course I'm mad! The son of a bitch fucked you over!" "Well if I hadn't of been stupid and..." "How many times do I have to tell you that it's not your fucking fault! How were you supposed to know that this was going to happen?" Brett said angrily. "I should have known!" I shouted back. "God... That was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my whole life." "So you jerked off on camera. Big fricking deal, Billy. It's not like I haven't done it. It's just assumed that people aren't going to go recording you and using it to get a better job. Shit, I still can't figure out how he recorded it. Maybe Dustin would know." "I'm not telling Dustin about what happened. It was embarrassing enough telling you." I said. Brett turned my chair back to the computer. We had been looking through all of my messenger logs to try to figure out which person was Mr. Hartley. Brett, as expected, had spent a lot of time at our house since his mom had slapped him in the office. May had certainly turned into a crappy month. Thankfully, it would soon be over. We only had a week of school left and then graduation. "Maybe this one. 'Sukmywang.' You actually talked to a guy named Sukmywang?" "Yes..." I said, humiliated. "Well, I talked to one called 'Eatmynutz' so I guess I don't have much room to talk." "I think I talked to Eatmynutz last week!" I replied. "Chinese guy from Sacramento?" Brett asked. "Yeah!" I replied. "Small world..." Brett laughed. "So what about this Sukmywang guy?" "I don't think it's him. Sukmywang is like seventy. He's got grandkids too." "Oh, weird... Somebody's grandpa was watching you blow your load?" "Just shut up and keep looking." I replied. Brett propped his leg up and clicked another profile. It was great to see him able to get around without crutches. He had told me all about going to the doctor's office to get his old cast removed and getting his black walking cast and knee brace. He'd have that for the summer, which meant no swimming. But at least he could walk on his own at last. The chime that signaled that someone had signed on sounded. "'BigRed05' says hello." Brett said. "Tell him to bite me." I replied. "He might like that." Brett said. "Tell him to bite you." I said. "I might like that." Brett said, smiling. "Brett..." I sighed. We chatted with Dustin for a while about nothing in particular. He just wanted somebody to talk with. "You guys aren't naked are you?" Dustin typed. "No." Brett typed. "I am." Dustin replied. "Ewww..." Brett said aloud. We finished our investigation without finding out which of my mysterious voyeurs was also my history teacher. Brett sat at the computer chatting with Dustin and twisting his necklace around his finger while I worked on my speech for graduation. Dave knocked on the door with the phone in his hand. "Brett, it's your mom." Brett sighed angrily and took the phone. "What?" He said angrily. "No." He said. He rolled his eyes at me. "Okay. Whatever. Bye." He finished. "What now?" I asked. "Oh, she wants me home by eight." "Are you still..." "Yes. And don't tell me that I should get over it." Brett sulked. "Hey, it's your life. I wouldn't know anything about dealing with angry mothers or anything." I said. "Billy, she slapped me in front of everybody. She humiliated me, and she tried to get me to not to go see my dad again." "Yeah, and my mom humiliated me in front of the whole town and tried to break us up. But, if it makes you feel better to give her the silent treatment rather than try to work things out..." Brett grumbled under his breath. "Hey, I know from experience how much it sucks when you get like that." "I think I may have nodded when she asked me a question yesterday." Brett said. "That should count for something. I can't help it if she's got menopause or something." "Brett! That's terrible! I swear you're such an asshole sometimes." "I'm hungry." Brett said, hoping to change the subject. "You can walk now, go make something yourself." I said. "My leg hurts." Brett whined. "Walking will help it feel better." I replied. Brett grumbled again as he got up and walked out of my room to the kitchen. "At least we don't have steps in our house!" I called after him. I heard Brett call me a no-good mother fucker as he continued slowly to find food. Soon, our focus changed from trying to find out how Mr. Hartley had screwed me to how we were going to deal with the results of Mr. Hartley screwing me. I still had a week of school to go and a speech to write. I managed to write and re-write my speech about fifty times. I just couldn't get through it without going into a tirade about the whole situation. I wasn't helped when I found out that I didn't get one of the scholarships I was hoping for. That was my own fault as well. I had been so confident about winning that I really hadn't tried that hard. Now my stupid pride was coming back to bite me. Brett and I had been accepted to Pittsburgh. So at least that much was done. The problem was how I was going to pay for it. Mom made too much money for me to get grants, which was the first time in our lives that mom actually made too much money for anything. Unfortunately, she only made too much money for her to get by, not to help me get to college. "There's always student loans." Mom suggested after I'd received the latest frustrating "Sorry you make too much money for us to help you" letter. "So I can be in debt for the next twenty years?" I said. "Everybody has to start somewhere, Billy. Your father and I started out with nothing, you know. Part of why we waited until we were older to have you was because we just couldn't afford to have kids. I'll help you however I can, but you know how things are." "I know." I said. The reality of the situation was sinking in. I wasn't going to be able to afford to go to Pitt. Hell, I couldn't even afford to go to California with Dustin. Dustin's family was so poor that the government was practically paying for everything. "Maybe I can be a janitor or something." I said sullenly. As May came to an end, we began to prepare for the end of school and beyond. Our class went through all of the pre-graduation crap at the school. We had our final exams and all of the stuff to get ready for the graduation ceremony. They had to get us all lined up to come into the gym, how to sit down and all of that boring stuff. I was getting to the point where I'd just as soon have them mail my diploma to me as have to go through that nonsense. "So, Roberts, how'd Taylor screw you out of valedictorian?" Bobby Rush asked me as we were sitting around in the gym waiting for the adults to tell us what to do next after we were seated. "She didn't." I replied. "I don't mean her. We all know who's responsible." He said. "I fucked up, okay? Just leave it alone." I said angrily. "If you say so, Roberts." Bobby said. After the practice, as we were leaving the gym, the principal asked to talk to me. I could see Brett watching from across the room in one direction, and Mr. Taylor watching from the other direction. "I want to see what you've written for your speech, William." The principal said. "I'm not done with it." I replied. "You're not done with it? The ceremony is in two days!" "Well there's only so many ways to talk about how everything in this school sucks." I said. "And that is exactly why I expect to see your speech on my desk tomorrow morning, or else there will be no speech. Do you understand me?" "Fine." I said. I just wanted the whole thing to be over with. I was immediately met by Brett when I walked on of the gym. "What did he want?" Brett asked. "He wants to read my speech." I replied. "Why?" Brett asked angrily. "Because he's afraid I'm going to whip out my dick or something in the middle of it. I don't know, Brett! Fuck him! Fuck this whole fucking place. I may just skip the whole damn thing! What difference does it make?" "You can't let them win, Billy!" Brett said. "They've already won, Brett! Why keep fighting when you already lost? What's the fucking point?" I said angrily and loudly. People who had been walking innocently by began stopping and watching me. "The point is that you can't let assholes like him stop you from being yourself." "That's a bunch of fucking bullshit, Brett! Guys like him and Taylor are always going to win. And even if you beat them, somebody else will come along and beat you." "Why didn't you stand up and fight back?" One of the students who had gathered asked. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked. "We all know that you're supposed to be valedictorian, not Sarah." "Well my dad's dead, and hers is the school board president. So you figure it out." I replied. "Fuck that bitch!" Sean McMillen, one of the members of our basketball team said. "We don't want that fucking hoe to get away with it." "She's not the one who... Look, I failed a test." "Billy, I was in that classroom." Mary Caldwell spoke up. "Mr. Hartley screwed you. I heard you ask him if you missed anything and he lied right to your face." "You don't understand..." I said. "No, YOU don't understand, Roberts." Bobby Rush said. "We're tired of hearing about Sarah Fucking Taylor. She's always been a bitch to all of us. I still remember the day you called her a bitch in class. That was awesome! And the way you guys stood up to Mr. Taylor at the prom... You can't let those assholes win!" "Listen everybody... I know you're all trying to help, but you just don't understand. Okay? I can't fight anymore. If I do... I just can't. I'm sorry if you don't want Sarah to be valedictorian, but she is and there's nothing that anybody can do about it. I'm sorry." I walked away with Brett close behind. "Billy, wait up!" I slowed down so that Brett could catch up. "You see? You're not alone in this, Billy." I stopped and faced Brett. "But how many of those people will be on my side if Mr. Hartley shows them that video? Huh? I'll go from the guy they want to beat Sarah to the guy who beats off on fucking camera. I'll never be able to show my face in public again. It's hard enough without that. Just leave it alone Brett, please!" Brett sighed. "You have to do what you think is right..." * I spent most of the evening working on my speech. I just couldn't figure out a way to write everything that I was thinking. All of my hope for the future seemed to have been sucked out of me ever since Mr. Hartley showed me that video. The happy life that I had so foolishly envisioned for myself and Brett was quickly fading away. All my hopes, all my dreams... They were just the foolish ideas of an idealistic, stupid little boy. The world was going to chew me up and spit me out. It was happening already. I did manage to slap some thoughts together for the speech, but by the time I had finished it, I already hated it. I gave up and walked to the kitchen to get something to eat. "How's it going?" Dave said from behind me as I was rummaging through the fridge. "It's not going anywhere." I replied. I found some meat and cheese and began constructing a sandwich. "You ready for the big day?" "I guess. You want one?" I said, offering him a sandwich. "Sure." Dave said, sitting down at the table. "You know, Billy... I've been thinking about the situation. I know I'm not your dad. But I do want to help." "Well I appreciate that, Dave." I said, sitting down at the table with him. "Your mom and I have been discussing it, and while you've been adamant that we don't interfere at the school, I think that with the hostile situation..." "I told you before, it wasn't Mr. Taylor and it wasn't the principal. I failed a test." "A test which you have never shown us." "It's none of your business anyway." I said. "Billy, it's okay to get help. These are some very cruel men you're dealing with. If they're threatening you..." "They're not threatening me." I replied. "Can we drop it please?" Dave sighed frustrated. He never liked to argue with me. "Okay... Well, there's still the financial situation." I sat down at the table with him. "Well, I've still got some grants I might be able to get my hands on. I would have gotten a nice scholarship from the school if I'd have been valedictorian. And it would have made getting some other grants and scholarships easier. But that's not going to happen." "Well, I want to help you, you know that. Things aren't looking good at the mill right now. There's a lot of rumors going around about the place... But, I've been able to save a bit of money by moving in here. It's not a lot, but it might help." "Dave, that's your money. It's a nice offer, but..." "Billy, you're not my son, but you're as close as I'm ever going to get to having one. You're going to need more money than loans and grants will be able to provide. There will be books to buy. And room and board... Even with Brett and his mom helping, it's not going to be cheap." As we were talking, mom came into the kitchen. "You know, this would be a lot easier if you'd just go to Cal. I mean, you could commute like Dustin." "Mom, I love you, but I need to get out of this town." "Billy, I know you want to follow Brett up to Pitt, but it's just not going to happen, son. We're doing everything we can to help you, but it's just too much money. If you think that your relationship with Brett is so strong, then you don't have to follow him up to Pittsburgh." "Mom, we're ready to be together, okay. I have to get out of this place and be with him all the time. And besides, Pitt is the best school for me. Cal is nice and all, but in the long run it's not going to get me where I want to be in life." "Well, we'll do what we can. But if you run out of money in two years you're just going to be in worse shape than you started." "Thanks for the support, mom." I said sarcastically. "I have to finish my stupid fucking speech so I can turn it into the stupid fucking principal in the morning so that he can stupid fucking tell me how to stupid fucking change it to make it stupid fucking appropriate for the stupid fucking ceremony." I walked back to my room and slammed the door. I resisted the urge to open it up and slam it again. I finished writing my stupid fuck... er... I mean, my speech and then went to sleep. "Just two more days..." I thought to myself. The next day at school, the first thing I did was take my speech to the principal's office. He didn't seem to have any problem with it, so at least that was finished. I went about the rest of the morning as usual, going to classes for the last time. Seniors didn't have to come to school on the last day and I certainly had no intention of coming back except to get my diploma and get the fuck out of there forever. I skipped Mr. Hartley's class and spent the time in the gym with Dustin. It was sophomore gym class time, but a lot of the seniors were hanging out there skipping classes and playing basketball. The gym teachers were pretty cool about letting us hang out there, so I skipped the rest of my classes to hang out there. As the school day came to an end, I decided to take a shower before heading out to meet Brett to go home. Dustin came along too, and it wasn't until we were both down to our underwear that I realized that he was going to shower too. I slipped off my underwear and headed off to the shower. Before too long Dustin came in to the shower room as well. I tried to avoid looking at anything but his face. "Well, I guess this is it, huh?" Dustin said. "Yeah. Thank god." I replied. "I can't wait until it's all over with." Dustin said, soaping up his chest. "I wish it already was over with." I said. "You have your speech done?" "Yeah. I had to show the principal this morning." "You're not going to be corny are you?" Dustin asked as he dunked his head under the water. "Oh, there will be plenty of corn." I laughed. "You could always give a different speech than what you turned in." Dustin suggested. "But what if..." "Lefty, what the hell are they going to do to you? Suspend you?" I stopped washing and looked at him. "I... I guess not..." Dustin rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and while his eyes were closed I took a peek below his waist to see that he was at about half way on the hardness scale. "Quit staring, you had your chance." Dustin scolded. I snapped out of it. "Oh... sorry." I said. "I fucked Sean McMillen last night." Dustin said as if he was telling me that he'd watched a television show. "You WHAT?!?!" I exclaimed. "What? It's no big deal." "The hell it's not a big deal!! How?!?!" "Well, I put my penis in his butt hole and..." "Not that, Dustin!!!" I said exasperated. "I mean how did you end up having sex with him!" "Billy, you're so wrapped up in Brett that you don't know what you're missing, bud. There's all kinds of guys who want it. Sean's like me. He's not gay, but he wanted to try getting fucked so I fucked him." "But you hardly know him!!" I said. "I hardly know Doug Sanders either but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy fucking him, either. It's just fucking." My mouth dropped. "You fucked Dougie!?!? Oh my god!!" Dustin smiled slightly. "Like I said, you don't know what you're missing." "But... You don't love either of... How long has this been going on?" "Well, Emily didn't want it, so I found people who did. And you know, it's much more fun than I thought it would be. Sean sucked my dick and I came like twice when I fucked him. You ever come twice, Billy?" "Well, yeah, but..." "It's fucking awesome isn't it?" "Dustin... I can't believe you." I said, having long ago stopped washing and just standing there with the water flowing onto me. "Billy, it's time to face reality. People have sex just because they can, okay. You don't have to be all lovey and stupid like you and Brett are. I'm tired of being a victim. I'm not going to let what my dad did to me stop me from having fun. If I want to fuck, I'm going to fuck. I'm not going to be ashamed anymore. I've got a nice body. I'm going to use it for myself for a change." "By fucking guys you hardly know?" I asked. "Who gives a damn?" "You should!! Are you using protection?" "Nothing's going to happen..." "Oh my god Dustin!!!" I said. "You could get AIDS! You could fucking die!! Are you crazy?!?!" "Billy, nobody around here has AIDS." Dustin explained. "So who else have you fucked?" I asked. "Just Mike, Sean and Dougie so far. I did Dougie doggy." "Oh I did not need to know that!" I said. Dustin smiled. "Well, I know more about Brett than I need to know about. Now you know what it's like." "So what are you, gay now?" I asked. "No." Dustin said. "You're fucking guys." "But I'm not gay. It's just a little harmless fun. I thought you'd be glad that I was getting over what happened to me." "Dustin, I'm glad that you're... I mean... You're just fucking them because you're mad at Emily." "No I'm not! I'm so over Emily." "You're crazy." I said, not thinking. Dustin's good mood evaporated almost instantly. "I'm not crazy, you mother-fucking asshole." I quickly realized what I'd said. "I'm sorry, Dusty. I didn't mean it. I wasn't thinking." "You need to watch what you fucking say, jerk. I don't go around calling you a faggot, do I?" "No." I said. "I'm sorry." Dustin half smiled, but I could tell he was still ticked off at me. We dried off and met Brett at his car. I had just spent my last day in school, and I couldn't say that I was sad about it. At last, I was free. No more classes. No more books. No more teacher's dirty looks... as the saying goes. I didn't want to go back, not even for the graduation ceremony. I just wanted it all over with. I didn't want to be paraded around for all those people to look at. I didn't want to have to look at Mr. Taylor or the principal. I didn't want to have to see Mr. Hartley again. I didn't even care much about the kids there anymore. I just wanted to be finished. I didn't want to ever see that place again. As I lay in my bed that night, my mind refused to turn off and let me sleep. I kept thinking about what Dustin had said. I couldn't believe how little he cared about what he was doing. He had totally separated sex from love in his mind. I didn't understand how he could be so uncaring about it. And I'd known Doug and Sean for years. I never would have thought that they would have had sex with Dustin. I knew that Dougie was gay, but picturing him getting drilled by Dustin just didn't make sense. And then there was Sean. Sean was on the basketball team and I knew that he was always trying to get Dustin to join. But Dustin was too messed up to join the team and by the time he got his life sorted out it was too late to start. But still, Dustin fucking him just didn't register. I never saw that one coming. Since I was still wide awake at two o'clock, I decided to take another look at my speech. I thought about what Dustin said about changing it. I mean, what could they do to me really? But I put that thought out of my head almost as quickly as it popped in. I slept in when the morning came. When I woke up I was still tired. The day was a blur of activity. Mom wanted me to get a haircut so I went back to Ben. Then I had to take care of about a hundred little things before finally heading back to the school to pick up my diploma. Oh, and give my stupid speech. We all had to get our robes and little hats on while all the parents gathered in the gym. Then we all had to line up so that we could march into the gym. Then we had to walk in and face all those parents and teachers and all that. I couldn't find my mom in the mass of people, even though I knew she was in there somewhere. I kept looking for her throughout the opening ceremonies and all that. I finally spotted her in about the twelfth row of bleachers on the left side of the gym. I also found Dr. Reilly in the crowd, sitting on the right hand side. It was easy to spot Mrs. Smith in the crowd as well. Then, as the class president was giving his speech, I noticed her... "Holy shit, there's Miss Winston!" I said to Bobby. "Where?" Bobby asked. "There. In the fourth row." I replied. Bobby looked, and sure enough, there she was. When she noticed us, she winked at us and gave us a thumbs up. And then I noticed who was sitting next to her. "Is that her roommate next to her?" Bobby asked. "Yeah. That's Susan." I replied. And I couldn't stop the smile from spreading over my face. The superintendent's voice snapped me back to reality. "And now with the salutatorian address, William Roberts." "Good luck, Roberts." Bobby said. "Thanks Rush." I replied. I walked down the aisle and up the ramp to the stage. It was only when I stood there facing all those people that I realized that I'd left my speech on my chair. And with all those people watching me, I couldn't find my voice. Suddenly, it wasn't a few hundred people watching me, but thousands and thousands. For a moment, I felt like just going back to my seat and sitting down. But then I found Brett in the crowd, looking so proud of me. I reached up to my neck and felt the necklace that had never been anywhere but on me since he gave it to me. Like turning on a light switch, I found my thoughts and my voice. "You'll have to forgive me, but I left my pre-approved remarks at my seat." The principal straightened in his seat. "I don't really have a lot to say. My mother used to tell me that I talk too much and I guess she's probably right. So I won't take too much time. "I guess... Well, my dad used to tell me something all the time. He'd say, 'You know boy, life isn't easy. Sometimes it's less hard, but it's never easy.' And I'd say, 'yeah, yeah, yeah... right dad...' And then I'd just go on doing what ever it was I was doing. Life was always easy for me. I think I studied a total of three hours in the entire time I was here. But that was school. School isn't life. School was easy. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... Now it's time for us to start dealing with life. Real life. And it's going to be hard. This class has been through a lot together. We've lost friends. We've lost family. We've found love, and lost it and found it again. My dad was right all along. It wasn't school that was hard, it was life. I guess if you get too wrapped up in the problems you run into then you never give yourself a chance to live. Life may never be easy, but it makes us alive. I'm thankful to be alive today. I just wish I could tell my dad that I finally figured out what the fuck he was talking about. Thank you." I left the podium and the crowd applauded politely as I walked back to my seat. When I got to my spot, Bobby was sitting there reading my written speech. "You know..." Bobby said. "That was much better than this one." "Thanks." I said as I sat down and Sarah Taylor was being introduced. "I'll bet you're the first salutatorian in history to swear in your speech." Bobby laughed. "I swore?" I asked. "Yeah." Bobby replied. "I hope somebody recorded it because I have no idea what I just said." I said. "The future..." Sarah began. That's about all I heard of her speech because the rest was a blur. After a speech by some former student at our school who had started a business and made about a billion dollars, it was time for us to get our diplomas. Mr. Taylor, as school board president, was responsible for announcing each name, and the principal gave the graduates their diploma and shook their hands. As student after student was announced, applause was given for each. I couldn't help but feel really sad when Mr. Taylor skipped from "Charles Edward McEntire" to Heather Elizabeth McMillen. Joey should have been between them. I didn't realize how much I missed him until then. "Sean Christopher McMillen." I looked back at Dustin, who just smiled knowingly at me. I wondered if Sean's twin knew that her brother was getting drilled by a guy. The names continued to roll by, with polite applause from most of the audience, and a roar of approval from the area where their family was sitting. "Hannah Marie Redman." "Anthony Brett Reilly." Brett limped gingerly up the ramp and past Mr. Taylor. He took his diploma from the principal and then held it over his head as if he'd just won the Stanley Cup, which brought laughter from the crowd, and a disapproving look from his mom. "Janet Denise Rex." "Donna Lynn Richards." "William Aaron Roberts." I walked up the ramp and across the stage. I reached the principal and he handed me my diploma. "That was an interesting speech, Mr. Roberts. I seem to recall you having a swearing problem in the past. If I wasn't retiring, I might do something about it. But, oh well! Good luck. You're going to need it." "Thanks." I replied. "Robert Jonathan Rush." I walked down the ramp on the other side of the stage and found my mom in the crowd. She was wiping tears out of her eyes as I held up my diploma to show her. I also found Dr. Reilly in the crowd and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled at me and I returned the gesture. "Douglas Ian Sanders." Dougie walked happily across the stage and exchanged words with the principal. After a few more names, I saw an auburn head of hair at the foot of the ramp. "Dustin Dwayne Smith." Dustin smiled from ear to ear as he walked across the stage and shook the principal's hand perhaps a little stronger than he was expecting. Dustin read his diploma as he walked back to his seat. After a few more names, I heard the one I was waiting for. "Sarah Ann Taylor" The crowd politely applauded, and most of the students gave a few half-hearted claps. Mr. Taylor hugged Sarah as she passed the podium, and the people oh-ed and ah-ed, I groaned. Then he continued through the rest of the names, and then congratulated us all and we threw our stupid little hats in the air despite them warning us not to do it because we might poke somebody's eye out with the sharp corners. And it was finished. Our school days were over. There was a flurry of activity after that, as everybody went off looking for family and friends. This would be the last time I would ever see most of my classmates. I would miss some, didn't care about others, and would see one of them every day for the rest of my life, so I figured it was a good exchange. I found mom and gave her a hug and kiss and she couldn't stop crying for some reason. "Mom, you're embarrassing me..." I said. "Oh, hush!" Mom replied. "I'm so proud of you, Billy. And I know your father is proud of you too. Except for that language of yours!" Mom told me that she would see me at home and she and David made their way toward the exit. A number of people told me that I'd given a nice speech. I thanked them, even though I didn't really think I did that good of a job. I just said what was on my mind. I wasn't trying to change the world. I walked around looking for Miss Winston. I hadn't seen her in months and I was really hoping to talk with her. But the gym was so crowded that it was tough to move around. I finally saw her talking with Mr. Hartley of all people! I made my way through the crowd and when she saw me she immediately walked to me and hugged me. "Billy I'm so proud of you!" She said. As I was hugging her, I scowled at Mr. Hartley. When she broke our embrace, I was all smiles. "Thanks Miss Winston." I said. "Where's Susan?" "Oh, she's around here somewhere. I had to talk to Mr. Hartley here about a certain student who deserved to take a test he missed and just what I think of his politics." "Pat, you have a nasty habit of sticking your nose into places that it doesn't belong." "And Ryan, you have a nasty habit of being an asshole." Miss Winston replied. My eyes bulged when I heard that! Mr. Hartley simply smiled. "I can't wait to deal with you when I'm named principal, Pat. This place has become way too lesbianic for my tastes lately." "Can I have my cd now, Mr. Hartley?" I asked. Mr. Hartley scowled at me, then looked quickly around to see if I'd been heard. "Later, Roberts." He said between clenched teeth. "No, I'd like to have my disc now, sir." I said. "What disc?" Miss Winston asked. "Oh, the disc he has of..." "Shut up, Roberts." Mr. Hartley said angrily. "Is that why you were denied valedictorian, Billy? Ryan, what have you done now?" Mr. Hartley opened his briefcase quickly, pulled out the disc, and snapped it in half. He handed the pieces to me. "There. Our agreement is finished, Roberts. Good luck in the future." Then Mr. Hartley walked toward Mr. Taylor and exchanged handshakes with him and his family. "What was that all about Billy?" Miss Winston asked. "Just a little something between me and him." I replied. "Anything I can do about it?" She asked. "No, it's over. I'm glad you came." I said. "I wouldn't have missed it. I'm just glad this year is over." "Me too." I said. "I don't like the idea of that jerk being the principal of this place." "Oh, don't worry about that, Billy. There are always going to be people willing to stand up to people like John Taylor and Ryan Hartley. You didn't do such a bad job of it yourself." As the crowd was breaking up, I noticed Brett sitting with his mom up in the bleachers. I made my way toward them, afraid of disturbing a family moment. Dr. Reilly had always said that I was family, but there were sometimes when I didn't feel like it. This was one of those times. I approached cautiously to where they were talking. "Well he had a right to be here." Brett said angrily. "Brett, I don't want to talk about this in public." "Well I don't care." Brett said angrily. "Brett, calm down." Dr. Reilly said. Brett stood up and walked to where I was standing on the gym floor. "You ready to go, Billy?" He asked. "Brett..." I said, hoping to stay out of the middle of their fight. "Brett Reilly, you come back here." Dr. Reilly said. "See you later, mother. Thanks for ruining the day for me." Brett walked away and out the door. "What was that all about?" I asked. "He's angry because I asked him not to invite that man today." "You mean his father?" I asked. "If that's what you want to call him." She replied. "Did you ask him or demand him?" I asked. "I told him that I would not be in the same building as that man." She replied. "And you wonder why he's pissed off?" I said. "You know what, I guess you were right all along Jen... You really are my mother." I left to find Brett, who was waiting impatiently to leave. I slipped off my robe and turned it in, then I walked with Brett to his car. When we closed the doors and were alone for the first time that day, Brett punched the steering wheel. "Fuck!" He shouted. I just sat there. I wasn't used to being the one watching his boyfriend lose his temper. "Well?" Brett asked. "Well what?" "Don't you want to tell me that I should forgive my mom for making me choose between the two of them?" "It's your life, Brett. I'll love you no matter what you decide. And so will your mom." Brett grumbled angrily. "Why'd you have to say that? Why can't you just let me be mad?" "Because you're better than me." "What? You're the only one allowed to get pissed off?" "No, but I know how much you hate being mad at your mom. It hurts you, and I don't like to see you hurt yourself." Brett sighed. "We'll see," he said. As the days passed after graduation, I found myself getting more and more used to the idea that I was free. I sat around the house for a couple of days. Brett and I had more sex than I thought was possible in such a short amount of time. "June has definitely been better than May was." I said, laying on my bed playing absent-mindedly with my dick while Brett was in his boxers playing a video game on my computer. "You didn't enjoy the craptacular moments that May provided?" He asked. "I enjoyed getting my diploma at the end of it. Everything else kind of sucked." "Well, just imagine how it will be when we can just be together all the time without our moms around to stop us from just laying around naked all day long." Brett said. "So, your mom is going to have that party, right?" I asked. "The 'Brett is mad at me so I better throw a party to make him forgive me' party?" Brett laughed. "Yeah. That's next week. You know, you'd think she'd learn by now that she's only encouraging my bad behavior by doing that." "At least you admit that it was bad." I replied. "Well, I'm still pissed off that she slapped me in front of everybody. But I guess I can see why she'd not particularly want me to see my dad. But she knows that there's nothing she can do about it now." "Kind of like my mom with you and me, huh?" "Yeah. Only your mom is right." "What?" "First I turned you gay, then I fucked you, now you turned Dustin gay and he's out fucking everything that moves." I laughed. "I didn't turn him gay!" "Ever since you touched his dick he's been out fucking guys, Billy." Brett joked. "It's like you passed on the power to him and now he has to do guys." I laughed. "You're a nut." When I heard my mom's car pull in I pulled on my shorts and a shirt and Brett did the same. We walked out to the kitchen to greet her. Mom and Dave entered the house and I could immediately tell that something was wrong. "What happened?" I asked. "David lost his job." Mom said, almost crying. "Oh no." Brett said. "I'm afraid that everybody at the mill did, actually." Dave said, smiling weakly. "They're moving to Alabama." "That sucks." Brett replied. "I have a lot of friends whose dads work there." I felt really bad for Dave. He talked about finding a new job, but it wasn't going to be easy. Most businesses aren't looking for fifty-year-old men to work for them. "Billy, I'm afraid that this is going to affect you as well." Mom said. "There's no way that I'll be able to support you going to Pitt now." I felt my heart sink when she said that. I couldn't even put up a fight about it because I knew that it was true. There was no way that she could help me if she was the only one in the house making money. "There is something..." Brett said. "What?" I asked. "I know that it means a lot to you, but what about the coin collection?" "No." I said instantly. "Never." "Billy..." Brett started. "No fucking way, Brett. You have no idea what that means to me." "Billy, it's only money." Mom said. "I wouldn't have suggested it before, when I thought that I could help you at least a little bit. But now it looks like I won't be able to help you at all." "Mom, dad made me promise that I'd never sell it. Never. I swore to him that I'd keep it forever." "Your father would want you to be able to reach your dreams Billy." "Besides, you've left the thing at my house for three months anyway. It can't mean that much to you." Brett explained. "I'm letting you borrow it, Brett. You're my boyfriend. You're the only person I'd ever even consider to let borrow it." "Billy," David said. "This has to be your decision. You cannot let anyone talk you into it. I will find a new job before too long." "Oh don't worry Dave, I'm not going to be talked into anything." I walked out of the kitchen and into my room. But before I could close my door Brett walked in behind me. "This sucks!" I said angrily. "I know." Brett replied. "Why can't anything be easy, Brett? Huh?" "Well, your dad said life is never easy." "Yeah. And he was right, wasn't he!" "I guess he was. Billy, there's no way that my mom's going to be able to pay for both of us. I don't get any grants or scholarships at all. My grades sucked ass. Isn't there any way that you can get some grants or loans or something?" "I've got everything that I can, Brett. I can afford most of it. But without mom helping, I'm screwed. "You know, I've looked it up, Billy. If you sold the coin collection to the right person, you could make almost ten-thousand dollars." "Ten-thousand!?" I asked. "Yeah. And you'd be with me. Billy, I know that it means a lot to you. But maybe this is what your dad had in mind all along." "He told me not to sell it, Brett." "But he didn't know that you were going to get screwed like you did. Billy, it's the only way." I felt sweaty. This was not how I expected things to go at all. But Brett was right. There was only one thing to do... "Let's go get the cases." I said resignedly. We drove around to Brett's house, and walked in as Dr. Reilly was preparing to leave. "Hi boys." She said. "Hi." I replied. "What's wrong?" She asked, noticing our less than enthusiastic attitude. "Nothing, except that life sucks." I replied. "I heard about the mill closing. Your mother's husband worked there, didn't he?" "Yeah. That's why I have to sell my dad's coin collection to pay for school." I explained. "Oh Billy... I know it's worth a lot of money... I've told Brett to give it back to you ever since you brought that thing here. But it means more to you than money." "Well, unless somebody wins the lottery, it's the only way I'm going to be able to afford Pitt." I replied. "You have to do what you think is in your best interests, Billy. You're an adult now, and you're going to have to make some adult decisions now. You're selling a priceless family heirloom, that's not easy. I had to sell a lot of things that belonged to my parents when they died." "Including their house." Brett said bitterly. "Yes, including their house, Brett. It wasn't easy." "Well, I haven't decided yet." I explained. "I just came to get the coins and take them home." "I have to get going. Brett, are you going to be home tonight, or at Billy's again?" "I might stay here tonight." Brett said. "I'm sure Paula and Dave don't want me hanging around over there with so much going on." "Okay." She said. "See you later, boys." As Dr. Reilly left, Brett and I walked up the stairs to his room. "Looks like you guys have worked things out a little." I said as Brett began pulling out the heavy cases from his closet. "Well, I guess she realized that she was never going to convince me to stop talking to my dad, and I guess I should have tried to understand her feelings a little more about what happened to her. I should have told her that I was talking to him instead of her finding out from Mr. Taylor." "Yeah..." "Well, here they are." Brett said, placing the last case on the bed. "You're going to have to take them out to the car, obviously." "This fucking sucks." I said. "I know. I wish there was something I could do." "Everything seemed so perfect back on prom night. But now it's all gone to crap. Dustin's trying to fuck anything that moves. Mr. Hartley cost me valedictorian. Dave lost his job. You and your mom have been fighting. And now this. The only thing good thing is that we're still together." "You want something good to happen now?" Brett asked. "What, you want to fuck at a time like this?" I asked. "No, I want you to fuck me. It's for your own good." Brett said as he pulled his shirt up over his head. "Brett, it's tempting but I'm... Whoah!" I couldn't finish as Brett pushed me onto my back on the bed. "Here, let's get these off." Brett pulled my shorts off in one swoop and then my underwear. "See, I'm not even hard." I explained. Brett slipped his own shorts and boxers off and slid between my legs and began slurping away at my half-hard dick. He slipped his hands up under my shirt and played with my nips while sucking away and bringing me up to my full potential. "You remember the day you about fucked me to death on the couch?" Brett asked. "Yeah..." I said. "Well, it's your turn." Brett said, sliding his body against mine and then straddling my hips. "Let's see... There it is." Without any lube except for his quick blow job, Brett found his hole with my dick and forced me into him. He inhaled sharply as he took me all the way down to my balls. "Wow," I said. "Have you been practicing or something?" I asked. "Only with you, lover boy." Brett replied, laughing. He lifted himself up and slammed onto my hips a few times. His dick slapped against my belly, leaving a wet spot where he was oozing from the tip. The friction of not being properly lubed felt so good that I didn't last long at all before I came inside him. Brett smiled as he felt me fill him and my semen provided the lubrication he needed to go even faster, bobbing up and down and riding my dick. I didn't even try to thrust back. Brett just kept it up until I felt myself building up to blow again. Brett held on to me right under my ribs with his hands. His knee brace hurt as it rubbed against my hip, and his black cast rubbed harshly against my leg. The pressure built and built, but my dick refused to cum again and I was stuck in an overwhelming feeling of pleasure and feeling like I had to piss but couldn't. That lasted for a good minute until Brett forced me to cum again. "Oh fuck, Billy." Brett panted. "I'm gonna cum all over you." Brett thrust himself hard down onto me and I looked down to watch. My dick was buried all the way inside him and his dick was twitching. Then I felt a hot wet splat hit me right between the eyes. I felt it burn my contacts immediately. A second shot got me right in the mouth as I tried to say something. With my eyes closed, I could feel even more spurts splattering all over my chest and belly. Brett collapsed on top of me and I felt his tongue on my mouth. I returned the kiss and felt his cum mixing with our sweat between us. "Sorry I got you in the face." Brett whispered. "It's okay. I didn't think you could shoot that hard." "Yeah, that's usually your department, Rocket. Man, that was good. My knee is going to be sore for a week though after all that. I've wanted to do that to you since you did it to me. A little rougher than I like, but good for something different." "It was good. I needed it, really." Brett rolled off of me and his cast banged into one of the coin cases and before we could do anything it flipped off the bed and crashed with a loud smash on the floor. "Oh shit!" Brett exclaimed. "Fuck. That's going to be a fucking mess. Isn't it?" I said. "Yeah, I heard it break open." Brett replied. "Well, let me get this cum off me and I'll pick it all up." I said. I threw my legs over the side and went to kneel down on the floor. And that's when I saw it... "Brett..." "Give me a minute..." "No Brett, look at this." Brett rolled over, trying not to get cum on his bed. "What the hell is that?" He asked. "Well... That's a video. And that's money. Lots of fucking money." "Where did it come from?" He asked. "I was hoping that you could answer that." I replied. "What's on the video?" Brett asked. "Porn again?" "It's one's not marked. Put it in the VCR while I clean this mess up." I instructed. Brett walked to the bathroom first and returned with a wash for me to wipe his stuff off my chest and to clean my dick off. Brett turned on his tv and hit the play button. I expected it to be a porno, so I wasn't paying much attention until I heard... "Hey, boy." My head snapped up so fast that I might have pulled a muscle. "Oh my god..." I said. There on the tv screen was my dad, sitting in his old chair. "No, this isn't 'Breaking It,' heh heh heh!" I crawled across the floor and sat naked in front of the tv. "Well, I guess that there's some explaining to do, huh? If you're looking at this, you're either going through my stuff again, or I'm dead. If you're going through my stuff, knock it off! And If I'm dead... Well... As you like to say, that sucks." The screen blurred as my tears flowed down my face. "Well... I guess I should explain. You remember how I taught you all about cards. Well, I didn't teach you everything. I've been hiding something from you and your mother for a long time. Since I was, oh... fourteen or so, I've been playing cards for money. And over time, I've gotten better and better at it. When I'd go with Mr. Nicholson up to that cabin, I'd head out to play cards. I never left with less than five hundred dollars. The results of that is what you see in front of you, boy. There's at least thirty-five thousand here for you, hidden in these chests. That money is yours, boy." I was just sobbing. Brett draped his arm around my shoulder. "I hope that you'll put this money to good use, boy. I know that you will. And now... There are a few things I want you to hear. I love you, boy. I love you so much. And I will always love you. Nothing made me more proud than to be able to call you my son." "I love you too, dad..." I whispered. "And if Brett is listening, I love you too, Brett. I know you never got to meet your father. But you know something, I was proud that you thought of my like your dad. You are a great boy and I'm glad that Billy found you." I turned to look at Brett. The tears were rolling down his face. "Now, another thing... Billy, if I'm gone, there is a strong possibility that your mother has re-married someone. I want you to treat him with respect, boy. If not for him, then for your mother. She loves you. And I love her more than you can possibly imagine. But if I'm gone, she needs someone to take care of her. I've told her that she shouldn't spend her life mourning me. I want her to live happily for as long as she lives. If another man makes her happy, then I want her to be happy. "Okay, one last thing... I want you to be happy. I want you to enjoy life every single day, son. I can see how happy you are when you're with Brett. You two were meant to be together. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise, boy. You don't know how lucky you are to have found each other so soon in life. I pray that your life together will be blessed and happy. Now, don't spend your life mourning for me. I want you to be happy. I only hope that this money will be helpful for you. Good bye my precious William. Remember that I'll never really be gone, boy. I'll always be with you." There was no talking between Brett and me after the video for at least an hour. We just sat there on the floor naked, crying, and holding each other. Even from his grave, my dad was watching out for us. For the first time in the year since he'd gone, life wasn't hard. Life wasn't even less hard. With my dad watching out for me, Life was easy.