Date: Tue, 9 Jan 2001 02:40:25 -0800 (PST)
From: coldheart95@yahoo.com
Subject: warmth and coldness-1

Disclaimer: The usual, if you are not over 18, you are not
allowed to read this or whatever age limit your country has.
This story contains male-to-male love acts and if it offends
you, you have to leave this right now.

For those of you who are not leaving, enjoy the story.
This is my first shot in making a story and any comments
or criticisms are welcome at coldheart95@yahoo.com.
If you would like to pass this on, please keep the
credits and do not change anything. This is what I
wanted my life to become  (except for the bad parts)
but sadly not all things can be granted. So I just try
to live normally, hope for the best and try my best to
smile through all things that happens to me.


Warmth and Coldness

Damn, Another year of school. It's not that I don't like
school. It's just that I hate getting up early in the morning
and showering, then getting dressed for some teachers who just
blabber about this and that. By the way, I'm Justin Kyle Bylake,
funny name, my mother and friends say it suits me and I also got
a nickname: Justin. I'm 14, 5'10, brown haired, black eyes,
well built and knows how to take care of things in case they
got ugly. I've heard some girl classmates of mine tell me I'm
gorgeous and cute but I never paid much attention to them because
I'm gay. Yes that's true I've known that ever since I met Jamie.
Who's Jamie? I'll get to that later. I am different from other people
by two things. First, I have no friends, not that I'm socially impaired;
I just don't trust anyone enough to be my friend. I'm considered a lone
wolf and whenever someone tried to talk to me I just avoid it and walk
away. Why's that? I had this friend when I was 3, Jamie, and we grew to
become the best of friends. We just did everything together, went to
places together and even bathed together. Things were fine until he
was 9 and became sick because of a disease and had to move away to
get treatment. I couldn't bear the pain of seeing him move away and
never recovered from it. Three months after he was away, my mom called me to talk
"Justin, Jamie's mom called up and said that, Jamie didn't make it
and he's dead. I'm so sorry, honey."
"But how can he be dead, he promised me that he would come back
and we could play again"
"I'm sorry honey but there are just things that were not meant to be"
I was so shocked; I didn't know how to react. I just stood up, turned
around and ran from the house. Mom understood the time I was going through
and she let me have my time. She' s such a cool mom and I thank God for her.
I ran to our secret spot somewhere across a river and behind a thick patch of trees and cried.
" Jamie, why? You told me that we would always be together and now you didn't
keep your promise and now what will I do?
I went on like that for a couple of hours and when I stopped, it was way
past dinnertime and I had to go home. When I arrived, my mother just stood
there and hugged me and I hugged her as hard as I could.
"Thanks mom, I needed that"
"Anytime honey," I told you she was cool.
And if that wasn't enough, mom died in a car crash accident. There was
this drunk truck driver and didn't see her until BOOM! it was too late.
Mom died immediately and the truck driver passed out and when he recovered,
he was put to trial and got jailed for the rest of his life.
My dad married again and that was another thing that makes me different.
I didn't like warmth, you know, the warmth you get when you hug someone or
when you are close to someone. My step mother and I got along well but she
came kind of late in my life so I didn't get close to her that much to be
able to freely hug her. No, for other people they enjoy it but for me, I avoid it.
It makes me think of my mother and it makes me want to cry and it just feels
so wrong. On the other hand, I enjoyed the cold. I like the stabbing feeling
when you shower in the morning with cold water. Just to show how much I enjoyed
the coldness, I love winter and I eat ice cream during winter and I don't turn
on the hot water when I shower after gym class.
So here's where my story continues and as usual I am greeted with the image
of my school. Usually, I just get all of my books from my locker and
head to my class but today something different happens.
" Hey, you the Bylake kid"
I look around to see where he is looking. Only nobody was around me.
"Yeah, you"
I walk away and go to class. Obviously, this guy was a new student.
" Hey, I'm not through with you"
I walked faster and he grabbed me by my shoulder
"Don't fucking touch me!"
"Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do huh?"
To tell you the truth, I wasn't thinking straight because I was hungry
because I missed breakfast. Man, this is going to get ugly.
And it did. It ended up with me jumping and kicking him, with the heel
of me shoes, in his nose. I think I broke it because he ended up in the
school clinic, holding a bloody nose.
After first period, I walked to my locker and started piling and getting things.
Suddenly, the principal's voice said over the school announcement system.
"Mr. Bylake, please proceed to the D.O. (Discipline Officer)
Damn. Now I get to be embarrassed in front of the whole school and get scolded
by the DO and my parents.
As I entered the office, I saw the DO getting something from a drawer and
motioned me to sit down.
It turned out that the folder he took was my school record.
"Mr. Bylake, would you mind explaining what just happened"
I was ready to shout, "He fucking started it!" but no, that would just worsen the
case. So I said
"Well, sir, I was on my way to class when he stops me and tries to pick a fight
with me and I just sort of kicked him"
"Hmm... I see so you confess to physically assaulting him"
"But sir..."
"Enough, it says here in your school record that you area good student and you
have no offenses and oh, your mother died. You stopped being friendly and your
grades dropped. Is that it Mr. Bylake? Is your mother's death bothering you?"
Getting personal here. I did some quick thinking.
"Sir, I have gotten over my mother's death and it has nothing to do with today
and if you would be so kind, give me my punishment and dismiss me"
"Very well, you kicked him in self-defense and that merits no punishment however,
do try to control yourself next time, Mr. Bylake. You are dismissed."
As I got up and walked away from his office and on the way to my next class,
I bumped into someone scattering my books everywhere.
"Hey, watch where you're going", he said
"Huh... oh sorry"
"Aren't you Justin? Justin Bylake?"
"Yeah"
"Hi, I'm Sean, Sean Cross"
Now the whole time this happened, I was picking my books and when I
got to look at him, I was so shocked that I almost dropped my books again.


Sorry for the suspense, it's just that I wanted to stop here.
Any comments and criticisms are welcome at coldheart95@yahoo.com