Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2001 02:32:18 -0800 (PST)
From: coldheart95@yahoo.com
Subject:warmth and coldness-4


Disclaimer: the usual

For those of you who have replied to me and sent me their comments,
I really appreciate it and I expect more. Thanks to the guy who said
that I had talent. What he said gave me a big brainstorm so now this story
has a more (I hope) intersting twist. I'm sorry for not being able to post
part2 and I'm sorry if it caused a lot of mayhem. I was sure that I posted it
so I didn't take any chances and resubmitted it. Thank you again and enjoy my
story. And Jake Carney, if you're reading this, I would like to tell you your
stories are so damn good especially "this boy's story". For those of you who
haven't read it, I highly recommend it (It's in the young friends section
of nifty).

It's a lot better than my story. I'm starting another story and I'm asking for
some twists and turns in my story. For example, the couple will have a big
fight or one will have an acident. Anything, please email me.


warmth and coldness-4

It was a school day next morning. Biology. Math. English. Homeroom.
Wow, when is this going to end? Finally, the bell rang and I dashed
to the hall where I found Sean waiting for me.
"So where is your house"
"A 15-minute walk"
We started walking and on the way home, we talked about a bunch of
things.
When we finally got there, no one was home as I suspected. Perfect.
I let Sean in and I went to the kitchen to get sodas. When I returned.
He was looking at photo albums.
"Hey what are you looking at?"
"Some pictures of you, who is this?"
He was pointing at my original mother.
"That's my mom"
"Then who's that?"
He was now pointing to my step mom's picture on the wall.
"That's my step mom."
"Why do you have a step mom?"
"Because the original one died in a car crash"
"Oh...sorry, very insensitive"
"That's OK, I got over it anyway"
Speaking of getting it over with, I decided to tell him and by this
time my heart was pounding like a jackhammer and the fluttering in my
stomach was getting hotter and hotter.
"Umm...Sean, I have to tell you something"
"Sure, go ahead"
"What I am about to tell you is very stunning and whatever your reaction
is, would you mind keeping it a secret? I mean, whether you be angry,
happy or sad, please keep it a secret OK?"
"Sure, whatever"
"Ok, I don't know how to say this but, Sean, I'm gay and I'm madly in
love with you. Please don't hate me."
A very eerie and nervous silence filled the room. He just sat there
and waited for me to make a move but I didn't.
After what felt like a half hour (but was only a five minute time span),
he stood up.
"Sean..." I started to say and I also stood up.
He walked over to me and pushed me to the wall.
BAM! god that hurt. I was knocked out of breath from the impact.
Oh god, I knew this was going to get ugly and suddenly I thought
about the guy whose nose I broke.
I couldn't bear to do that to Sean but if he's going to continue
this I'm going to fight back.
Before I could recover my breath, he was in front of me and he
smiled. For gosh sakes, HE SMILED!!!
I was ready to wipe that smile from his face when he leaned down and
kissed me.
I didn't expect that and I just stood there, stunned beyond belief
and as my brain started to recover from the initial shock, it told me something.
Kiss him you idiot; he's kissing you so kiss him back, NOW!!!
I started to put my arms around him and pulled them back in horror.
I pulled my mouth away.
"Justin... Justin"
I didn't know what was happening why did he kiss me? What am I going to do?
"Justin, I also love you and so that means that I'm also gay"
I still stood there shocked and struggling to absorb everything that he
just said. When I finally spoke, my mind was racing with a thousand
questions. But I asked the one that seemed the most important one at that time.
"Ok, I'm getting a little confused, what do you mean you love me too?"
"I love you, like, I adore you and I like you. That's the reason why I
bumped you in the hall, the first time we met."
Oh shit, so he wasn't just horny and he just simply loves me. Oh god, is
this true. I started to pinch myself. But Sean stopped me.
"If you want proof, how about this"
Then he kissed me again. This time it wasn't just a first-time kiss. It
was a kiss that signaled that whatever he was feeling for me was true.
felt the hot tears escaping my eyes. He put his finger under my chin
and tilted my head so I was once again looking into those eyes. I felt
myself to melt under those crystal eyes.
"Why are you crying?'
"Because I'm so happy"
With that he started to pull me closer, I pulled away just in time.
"What's the matter?"
"I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because it feels wrong"
"How can it feel wrong? I mean you love me don't you?"
"Yes, I do but I don't like warmth"
"Say what?"
"I don't like warmth, you know when you hug people, you get to be
embraced and you feel warm all over. I don't like that"
"Why, it feels so good"
"I just can't because it reminds me of my mother and when it does,
it feels very wrong OK. I'm sorry but if you can't accept it then,
fine, you can leave."
Once again, the hot liquid ran down my cheeks again and I ran up to
my room. Once inside, I wept in my pillow.
He won't like me because I can't embrace anyone. What's wrong with me?
I know I recovered from my mother's death. Then why does her face
appear when Sean embraced me? Damn, I'm confused.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
What the..?
He's coming back. I thought he didn't like me.
"Hey Justin, I want to talk to you"
"Why?"
"I want to clear things"
I got up, dried my tears and opened the door. There he was smiling
but looking confused. And those eyes, I'm getting mesmerized by those eyes.
"Umm... can we talk?"
"Yeah, sure"
We walked to my bed and both sat.
"OK, so we both love each other. Right?"
I only nodded my agreement.
"Ok, so tell me again why you can't hug me?"
"OK, I'll start from the beginning. I knew I was gay since I met Jamie."
Seeing the horrified look on his face, I quickly explained that
Jamie was my best friend.
"Jamie was my best bud ever since I was three and he died when I was nine."
"Oh, sorry again"
"That's Ok. Anyway, when he died, I was so sad that I'd never see him
again. That's where you come in. When I met you in the hall, you looked
so much like him. And I thought that you were his some kind of reincarnation."
"Oh, so that's why you were staring at me all the time."
"And when I thought that that was enough my mom died in that car crash
and I thought I couldn't live anymore."
I was holding the tears back.
"I just lost two of the dearest people in my life in just two weeks. And
that's why I don't like warmth, I was afraid I would lose it again."
I couldn't hold it back anymore. I stood up and cried again. I mean,
what kind of person am I. I just cried three times in one day. He
followed me and started to put me in my arms and before I knew it,
he was embracing me. I started to pull away but I couldn't because
he held me tight. And so once again memories of my mother's face
were coming back. I just sobbed into his chest and I was feeling
his heat. Oh god, this feels good. Wait a minute, this is good and
in response, I put my arms around him and embrace him. No, I can't,
I mustn't. The guilty feeling rising up again but it feels so good and
so right. Just go with it. But what would mom say? But you love him and
he loves you, why not accept it and live it. I was getting tired of this
debate in my head and he suddenly spoke.
"So what do you think of me now?"
I thought for a while.
"The best thing that happened to me in my life"
He pulled me away and turned me up so I was facing me. Those eyes,
I felt like I could swim in those eyes forever. And as they drew
closer, I started to get dizzy. I closed my eyes and felt those
perfect lips touch mine. He even tastes good. I licked his lips
and tried to put it between those sugary lips. He opened his mouth
and I invaded it and savored him. He's so sweet; I swear he tastes
like sugar. His hand was groping and was gently caressing my back.
That feels so good, I wish he wouldn't stop. I just hugged him as
tight as I could and never let go.
"Feel better now"
"Yeah but I'm kinda tired from all that's happened"
"Then sleep in my arms"
"I wish I could but I can't sleep standing up all the time"
"In your bed then?"
"Yes, please"
We fell down on my bed and I fell asleep.


That's all. I told you sex would come in part 5. So get ready. Thanks for
reading my story. Smile through all things that come your way (it works for
me) especially when I'm feeling depressed. All comments and even criticisms
are welcome at coldheart95@yahoo.com