Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2017 06:23:23 +0000 (UTC)
From: Don Cornelius <doncornelius69@yahoo.com>
Subject: We Will Remember Them Chapter 18

This story is a work of fiction. None of the characters are real and any
similarities between this story and/or any characters in it and real life
is purely coincidental.

THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN
TEENAGE MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! IF YOU FIND THIS
TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, OR IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE LEGAL AGE
TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.

The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this original
story.  You may not publish it or any part of it without explicit
authorization from me.

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July 2012

I know Dr. Arya and Dr. Foster thought this would be a cathartic experience
for me, writing about what has led me to this point in my life. I think, to
some extent, they were right but I realize as I get closer to February,
2012 that it's harder and harder to write. I'm not sure if it's because I
have so little distance on what happened or if it's because I dread
re-living it. I don't think it's the latter, since I think about it, still,
every day. There's very little that I encounter that doesn't in some way
remind me of Toby though it's gotten easier with each passing day. I'm
almost sure at this point it's the former, that I haven't fully processed
what happened. The Docs will tell me that part of getting through it is to
write about it, and I freely admit that when they told me that I was in a
really dark place and I was seriously thinking about giving up. It's the
only time in my life I've ever thought about that and it gives me chills
today. The idea that it's all going to be overcome in some sort of
cathartic act of writing just seems ridiculous. However, I trust Arya and
Foster has been really good with some of the PTSD stuff I've had to deal
with, so I'm pressing on as best I can.

Back in 2011, the Wednesday morning following Thanksgiving was unusual. My
father got me up earlier than normal so we could talk about being
responsible with money. Well, we could have talked about that, but what we
did instead was talk about what I spendthrift I was. He'd looked at the
statement on the card he'd given me early that morning and saw that I'd
spent $700 during the month. It wasn't a terribly pleasant conversation. At
the time, I didn't know he was dealing with being nickle and dimed on a
deal and had just decided to vent on me a little. I think if I had, I would
have taken it better but at that point, I thought it was crazy. The trust
was clearing me $2000 a month and I was using it to pay the card. I knew my
expenditures had been higher than normal, but putting gas in a damn
Escalade (half the time to run errands for him) wasn't cheap and I'd needed
some new clothes since I'd filled out more and weighed almost 20 pounds
more than I had the previous year. I hadn't even bought really expensive
clothes, I'd just picked up some things I knew would hold up. None of that
mattered to him at the moment.

After he dismissed me, I went back up stairs to get ready for school and
sent an email to the trustee that I needed a debit card immediately. I
thought that the sooner I had my father out of my finances, the better.

By the time I came back downstairs, my father had calmed down and was
asking questions about how much I was spending on gas doing things for
him. I just laughed and said it was close to half of the gas charges. He
FINALLY apologized, but of course had to tell me it was all out of concern
for me and his desire to help me understand how to manage money and live
within my means. I reminded him the trust was paying out $2000 a month and
he finally said he might have overreacted a bit. In my head, I can remember
hearing a voice loudly shouting, 'YOU THINK?' but I decided not to let that
voice come out of my mouth. I also didn't mention that Cat could spend $700
in an afternoon while I paid for my own clothes and didn't ask for any
thing from him, but that would have been pointless since 'girls are
different'. The fact that he could think that AND like my boyfriend was,
I'll admit, pretty impressive. Much as my father really tried to embrace
new things, he clung to some traditional views like grim death.

That morning his mind was also on the weekend since he was taking Toby duck
hunting and asked, once again, if I'd like to go. And I told him, once
again, no. I hadn't really hunted with my dad since 7th grade. I'd been
going because I got to hang out with Willy, but when it was time to shoot
I'd miss. One afternoon when I was in 8th grade, we were at the ranch
shooting skeet and I was doing pretty well. After about an hour we stopped
and he asked me the question.

"You don't like killing ducks, do you?"

I looked at him, kind of shocked he figured it out. "How...?" was all I
could manage.

He smiled, "Well, you're actually a good shot and yet when we go out, you
never seem to kill anything. You don't like shooting them, do you?"

I was honest, "No sir, I don't."

He smiled, "Well, what if you had to in order to eat?"

"Well, then I'd kill some ducks. But I don't."

That was pretty much the end of the conversation. After that, I'd
occasionally go hunting with my father but I rarely shot my gun. Killing
things for sport just never sat well with me. Wasting ammo sat even less
well with my father.

Meanwhile, since Toby was going hunting with him, he was dying to get me to
go along and I finally said, "I'm not going to do it. You and Toby like it,
y'all go have a good time. Willy's dad will love him and Willy already
does. If y'all kill anything, clean the ducks and I'll make a cassoulet."

That got him to perk up. My father didn't really like eating duck, unless
it was mother's cassoulet. It was a pain in the ass to make, but I figured
it would get him off my ass.

"You know how to make your mother's cassoulet?"

"Yes sir. It's not hard, it just takes time. I can do the prep work while
y'all are out and then get it ready for dinner. What would you think about
having Toby's family over for dinner Saturday night?"

He thought for a second, clearly realizing he'd fallen into a trap. There
was no way around it. He'd met Toby's parents once at a football game and
that was it. Having a meal together would be ... interesting.

"I'd be OK with that. Puts some pressure on us if we don't kill anything,
though."

I laughed, "Well, then you better get me at least two or it's going to be
sausage and chicken cassoulet." That caused him to make a face since my
father loved chicken that wasn't deep fried about as much as a vegan would
like a rare steak.

I was still wound up from the argument with my father when I got in the
car, but by the time I got to school I was pretty calm. Since we were
coming up on Christmas all kinds of bullshit was being planned. There was
my Christmas dance that Friday and then there was Toby's the next
week. Neither of us were thrilled with having to do two school events, but
we figured we could endure it for a while before ducking out. And then
there were parties, not to mention planning the actual holiday and spending
time with three different families.

I ran into Jack walking in and he looked like he'd been waiting for me.

"What's up? You're sitting there like you want to talk about something." I
told him as I walked over to the bench he was using.

He smiled up at me, "Actually, I did need to ask you a favor."

I laughed, "Oh, I can't wait to hear this! Need me to vouch for you with
some innocent young man so he doesn't figure out your true intentions?"

"Son, I'm never going to need your help getting someone to do whatever I
want." He told me through a cocky smile, clearly confident in his seductive
abilities. "I actually need a ride this afternoon over to a shop where I'm
having my truck worked on."

"Dude, you could have asked me about that in English. Is that seriously
it?"

He stood up and shuffled around a bit, "Well, no, there's something else. I
need your help to get something for my mother."

"Like for Christmas?" He nodded. "Of course, Jack. You know I'll help you
any way I can! What are you thinking about?"

"That's just it. I'm doing something big for her, but I don't want it to be
just that. I want to get her some things that she'll want, but wouldn't buy
for herself because money's been so tight. You know, girl stuff, and I
don't have a clue what to do."

His nervousness was really cute, "Of course, man. We'll figure it out this
afternoon."

I knew what Jack was doing to help out his mother, but this was a different
side of him I'd never seen. He was uncertain and it was really, I don't
know, endearing. I was determined to help him be a hero for his mom, even
more so than I'm sure he already was.

The morning went kind of slowly. I kept expecting a text from Toby to let
me know he was done with his police interview. Before Thanksgiving, Jack
had given his statement and the Ambroses and Toby were scheduled that
week. He'd thought he'd be done by noon and as we got closer and closer to
it, the watch I kept on my phone got more obnoxious to the point that our
speech teacher, Mr. Rosen, had to threaten to take it from me.

Finally, halfway through lunch, I got the text that he was done and that
he'd fill me in that night. I didn't expect much to come of it, to be
honest. I knew the mechanics, they had to interview witnesses to flesh out
the case. Toby had been really sensitive with me about it, willing to
discuss it in a barebones way without really delving into it. I knew why
and I appreciated him being thoughtful. I also knew that his sense of
justice demanded Wade pay for what he did and I knew he was going to
cooperate with law enforcement no matter what, not that I would have asked
him to give it up anyway. It all hit a little too close to home and while I
wasn't having the really bad dreams anymore, I did still have some about
that night. The theme to those was the One Million Ways Things Could Have
Gone Badly. I'd told Toby about it at one point and from there on out,
there was very little detail in his stories about Wade.

The rest of the afternoon went well and gym was a real treat. My bodyweight
was up to 177 and I'd only lost a little definition. I was excited as hell,
because all the leg work I'd done had helped with my jumping and upped my
speed. I'd started practicing with some of the other sophomores, hoping
that some of us would make varsity. I knew just from the two weeks we'd
been doing that I had a pretty decent shot at getting onto the team. Most
of the guys played well, but Carter was the only one who seemed to have his
heart in it, who really seemed to want varsity. The rest of them were kind
of, to borrow a phrase from my father, phoning it in.

As I walked out I found Jack waiting for me, ready to roll. We got in the
truck and I forgot I'd been listening to something way too loud that
morning and quickly turned the volume down.

"Damn? Good ride to school?" he asked with a grin.

I laughed, "Nah, my father and I got into it this morning and I got in my
head. So, I dug up this and listened to it on the way."

"It sounds like trance, but I don't think I've ever heard it before."

That caused me to do a double take. I took Jack for someone who listened to
prog rock or something similarly meatheadish.

"Wait, you like trance?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"It's just not the kind of music I would think a cage fighter would enjoy."
I said with a grin.

"Well, I'm full of surprises. Seriously, who is this?"

"It's Mat Zo..."

"No it's not."

"Yeah, it is, it's just older. Amazon may have it. I know Beatport does. Or
I could just burn you a copy."

"What's the name of the song?"

"Fractal Universe."

"Can you replay it?" he said.

I sighed, "Yeah, but there's a part about 3 minutes in that always makes me
tear up..."

"Wait, you had an argument with your father so you listened to something
that makes you sad?"

"No, I listened to something that's beautiful and makes me feel better. The
tears aren't because I'm sad, it's because the music touches me."I paused
to hit back and then play, "It's one of those weird GAD things." Honestly,
I didn't know that to be true. Dr. Arya had been pretty clear that being
emotionally affected by music was really common, it's just that it went to
an extreme for me. While others might feel wistful or be moved, I would
break down and cry. It was that part I was sure the GAD created.

It wasn't a long drive but with traffic, it took about 10 minutes. When
that part of the song came on, I noticed him looking over at me with a
smile and I silently said fuck it and let go. While I wasn't entirely
comfortable with Jack seeing me like this, I realized he knew how I was
wired and I could trust him. I smiled and looked over at him, tears running
down my cheeks and said, "What?"

"It's just... you're really beautiful."

I smiled, rolling my eyes, and said overenthusiastically, "Thank you."

"No, I mean it. I see YOU when you're like this and it's really
something. I hate to bring this up, but when Toby talks about you sometimes
it can get to be a little much. But, when I see you like this, open and
raw, I suddenly remember the conversation and it makes sense. The two of
you aren't a couple, you're a matched set and it's amazing."

Well, at least we didn't have pet names for each other. Yet.

"Are we obnoxious? Do we get irritating?" I asked.

He laughed, "Not at all. I really like spending time with the two of you
together. And, as lucky as I think Toby is, I'm not jealous of him or of
you. You're just both really good together and it makes me happy knowing
that's possible."

I started to stammer as I tried to reply which just made him laugh. "Look,
I'm still me. But yeah, I absolutely want what the two of you have. I'd be
a fool not to after seeing it."

"Ok, so tell me what you want to do for your mom?" I asked.

Jack smiled crookedly, "You really hate it when I talk about you and Toby,
don't you?"

"I don't hate it, it just makes me uncomfortable. I really appreciate when
someone compliments us, but I'm bad with them because I always feel so
ridiculous, like 'Oh, yeah, you're totally right... I am completely
badass'." I said, doing an imaginary hair flip for effect.

Jack laughed again, but it was different. I think it was more genuine, "I
understand what you're saying. Think of it this way, people say things like
what I just did to you because it's how they feel, it's got nothing to do
with you really, it's for them."

"I hadn't thought of it that way,"I responded.

"Well, start and see if that helps. In answer to your question, I'm paying
off her car and the home equity line on the house which will really help
her. I have some money left after that to buy stuff just for her."

"WOW! How much will be left?" I asked.

"About $5,000." he replied.

"Shit! I had no idea you were making that much from..."

"Fighting? It's not just the fight, it's the cover and the
concessions. They all pay me a cut."

"Damn! OK, when you get your truck, let's head down to NorthPark and meet
up in front of Neiman's Boedeker entrance. I have an idea."

By the time we got to Neiman's it was well after 630 and I met him at the
front door. We walked in and and I found the closest CSR.

"Ma'am, would you please page Johnnie Davis and tell her that Rob Hallstrom
would like to see her if she has time?"

She smiled tightly, irritated I guess at a loss in
commission. "Absolutely." She walked quickly over to a desk and picked up a
phone. Five minutes later a very well dressed woman walked up with a big
smile on her face. She spread her arms as she approached and gave me a big
hug.

"How are you, Mr. Rob?"

"I'm good Mrs. Davis! You look amazing!" I told her.

She laughed, "Goes with the territory. Now what can I help you with?
Something for your mother?"

"No ma'am, this is my friend Jack Reynolds and he needs to pick up some
things for his mother. He's got about $5000 so I was thinking about $1000
on some things she'd like then the rest on a gift card so she can come down
and work with you on some clothes."

She held out her hand to Jack, "Mr. Reynolds, it's very nice to meet
you. I'm Johnnie Davis and I've been a personal shopper here at Neiman's
for more than 30 years. Now," she said, grabbing his arm to walk him
further into the store, "why don't we start at fragrances?"

Jack just stuttered, completely out of his element, "Yes ma'am, that sounds
good."

As I walked behind them, I texted my father to let him know I'd be late,
then Toby to tell him I was out shopping with Jack and that I'd call him
later.

Johnnie made quick work of Jack, asking leading questions about what his
mother liked and didn't like, how she pampered herself, all the things that
would help her give him some options she'd love. Mrs. Davis had been
helping my family for years and I trusted her completely. Slowly, I could
see Jack was as well. This would definitely be one Christmas his mother
would remember for a long time. I told him, as we were leaving, how much
she would enjoy shopping with Johnnie. She was always truthful and she had
fabulous taste.

When we were done, I took off for home and arrived to find something to
actually eat, an unexpected surprise since my dad and Cat usually
demolished whatever and left me with, on more than one occasion, a dinner
roll.

While I ate, I talked to my dad about Saturday and made out a list for
Mrs. Witsun for the cassoulet, then went up to my room to call Toby who
answered on the first ring.

I laughed as he said, "How'd it go with Jack?"

"Really well. The lady at Neiman's whose been helping my mother for years
got him sorted out. Honestly, it's amazing what he's doing for his mother."

He sighed, "She's been through a lot and Jack loves her."

"That was obvious. He kind of teared up about some perfume and when
Mrs. Davis, the lady who was helping us, went to wrap it up, he told me it
was her favorite and she hadn't been able to buy it since his father died."

"That's sweet, babe. Thank you for helping him."

"Well, of course! How'd the thing with the police go?" I asked.

He grunted, "It went OK. There really wasn't much to it. They wanted me to
walk back over what happened and then sign a statement. My father was
pissed because it took so long, but I guess it went as well as we could
expect. The officer who was with us couldn't say much but he indicated that
it would be going to the grand jury."

"Which means?"

"I asked my dad and he just said if the grand jury indicts Wade, he'll go
to trial. Then I'll probably be called to testify."

"Oh, man..."

"Yeah, but I'm OK with it. The guy's unhinged."

"That's for damn sure. So are you parents excited about Saturday?"

He laughed, "Actually, there was something I needed to talk to you about
this weekend... my mom wants to have lunch with you on Saturday."

"Why?"

"I don't know think there's a specific reason, she just mentioned that it
would be nice to spend some time with you."

My anxiety ratcheted up. It wasn't that his mom scared me, it was that we'd
never spent any time together one on one. "Well, it's got to be quick
because dinner is going to take time to prepare."

Toby laughed, "Having cooked for a family now for almost 17 years, she
kinda understands that. She was thinking about meeting you around 11. I
told her that would be good."

"Oh, you did? I don't get a say in it?" I asked, laughing.

He sighed, "Babe, it's my mother and she just wants a closer relationship
with her future son in law."

That. For weeks he'd been making cracks about getting married. The first
few times I thought he was joking until he grabbed me one evening the week
before Thanksgiving, looked directly in my eyes with this intensity I'd
never really seen, and said, "I'm serious. I love you and if you're willing
I want to build a life with you." I just nodded my head, too nervous to say
anything which might take away from the feeling of hope his words gave
me. After that I took him seriously. I never chastised myself for 'just
going along' with what he wanted, it was absolutely what I wanted as
well. I was just too chickenshit to admit it and felt perfectly comfortable
letting him take the lead. I even got used to him introducing me as his
'future fiance' on occasion. I won't lie, I liked it despite thinking it
was sort of obnoxious.

"OK... well, rather than meeting there, why doesn't she just pick me up and
I'll ride with her?"

"Seriously? You're OK with that?"

"Oh, yeah. Seems stupid to take two cars when we're both going the same
place."

We talked a little more, mostly about Friday night. We knew we couldn't
stay late since Toby had to be up really early to drive to Ouichita with my
dad.

Thursday was interesting. Ethan had taken it upon himself to plan a big
dinner prior to the dance for a select few at a restaurant he liked, some
steakhouse off the Tollway that my father said 'wasn't bad' which was just
the ringing endorsement I'd wanted to hear. Picking and choosing who was in
was an absolute motherfucker since no matter what, we were going to piss
someone off. What pissed me off about it was that I was getting pulled into
the lobbying effort, as if Ethan was listening to me. He wasn't, but that
didn't seem to matter. The narrow eyed looks I got from girls that
afternoon and the next day let me know but quick people were angry.

That Thursday afternoon when I got home from school I started the prep work
for the cassoulet, mostly just chopping things up so I'd save time on
Saturday. I remember wondering, a number of times, how the hell my mother
did this while I was getting everything ready. She always made it look so
effortless. I started thinking about what life would be like if Toby and I
got married and I briefly had this comical little daydream about us
together, like a 1950s sitcom, with him coming home to find me in the
kitchen, wearing an apron naturally, getting dinner ready to put on the
table while handing him a perfectly made cocktail. Then we spent time
eating a very relaxing meal while occasionally yelling at our 2.5 children
to get the hell off their tablets and phones.

It was a lovely little fantasy that I was jolted out of by my sister.

"Are you seriously making mom's cassoulet?" she asked.

I just turned to her and gestured at all the crap out on the countertop.

"The hell does this look like to you?" I asked.

"A mess." She got up, a big smile on her face and walked over, to me. "And
it's gonna suck sooooo bad!" She then walked off, laughter trailing behind
her.

By 630 I was done and had everything ready to go, neatly put up in the
fridge. All that was left was to soak the beans, cook the meat, and then
put it all together with the ducks. Mrs. Witsun, being absolutely
brilliant, had picked up some duck fat at the grocery store thinking that
wild ducks probably wouldn't have enough.

After dinner, Toby came over and we worked on a project I had for Algebra 2
and then watched a movie. Cuddled up with him, just sitting on the sofa
watching a movie or something dumb on TV, was one of my favorite things to
do. I needed my downtime and thankfully Toby never seemed to mind.

The next day I was a little off when I got up, but my father was in such a
good mood it kind of set me back on track. It was probably the first time
that ever happened, but it made me feel like a normal person since people
normally effected one another. It was just something that usually didn't
work with me.

That evening, I rushed home to get ready and put the beans in pots to soak
overnight. Toby picked me up at about 6 and we went to meet everyone for
dinner. The group ended up being almost 20, so it was a real nightmare for
the wait staff and me. Well, it ordinarily wouldn't have been for me except
that instead of being seated next to Carter, his new girlfriend sat down
next to me. They'd met before Thanksgiving and at first I liked her. Then
she said something nasty about Ileana and from then on I just thought she
was trash. She rambled on throughout the evening about bullshit piled on
top of bullshit like how much she hated school, how much she loved her new
Michael Kors bag (which was baby shit brown, no joke), how insufferable
poor people were (the reference there was based on people using LoneStar
cards at HER grocery store), her grandmother who wasn't dying quickly
enough... she was a real treat and I couldn't figure out for the life of me
why she fixated on me or would choose to tell me all these horrible things.

Toby, for his part, just laughed every time she said something knowing how
much it was killing me not to say something. I even thought for a moment
about stabbing him with a fork but then decided not to since I had other
plans for him that night. I found out later Carter had told her that he
really looked to me and Ethan for advice and since she didn't like Ileana,
I was the natural conduit through which she could tell Carter things
indirectly. I, of course, used my influence to persuade him to run away
from her.

The dance itself, when we finally got there, was fun even though we only
stayed for an hour. We got back to my house and took a long shower during
which we made love. Both of us needed the tension release and knew we
didn't have time for much else. It started off slowly, with us under the
spray, him behind me sucking on my neck, rubbing his hard dick in the crack
of my ass, causing me to moan when he got close to my hole. Finally, he
grabbed my hips and started pressing in, slowly, while nibbling my ear and
my neck. I felt boneless and I'm pretty sure when I came the only reason I
didn't fall was because he was still inside me and his hands were holding
me up.

We fell asleep about 1130 and I barely moved when his alarm went off and he
got up to get ready. I did get a really sweet kiss, then briefly opened my
eyes to see him open the door and walk out to meet my father, who was
standing in the hallway looking excited as he always did at the prospect of
killing something.

I, on the other hand, slept until 8 then made myself breakfast and got
ready for Linda to pick me up. About 1030 I got a call from my father that
they were bringing back four ducks, more than enough for what I had
planned. I told them to clean and quarter them which caused my father to
snap back with 'YES SIR'.

Thirty minutes later I was putting butter into dishes to have on the table
and putting out place settings when Linda called from the gate. I let her
in, then walked to the front door. I showed her what I'd been up to and she
thought it was going to be really nice. I laughed and said it would have
been better if my mother was cooking and she just laughed and said David,
Toby's father, still made cracks about her cooking versus his mothers even
though she KNEW she was the better cook.

"Honestly, you could serve us Burger King and Toby would be happy."

I laughed, "True, but it's not Toby I'm trying to impress..."

"Well, you don't need to worry about David and me, we're already pretty
partial to Toby's judgment. Come on, let's go eat."

We ended up at a Tex Mex place I liked since I could pretty much eat
enchiladas and tacos for every meal. As I got out of the car, I was
determined not to let this be awkward. I don't know why, but it suddenly
hit me that this woman, whom I already liked a great deal, would hopefully
be family and I needed to think of her that way, not as my boyfriends mom.

We sat down and ordered something to drink, then I tore into the chips.

"So, how have you been?" she asked. It had been more than a week since I'd
been over for dinner, so we hadn't caught up.

"Good. I'm going to get an A in Algebra 2..."

"That's fantastic!

I smiled and could feel the heat on my cheeks, "Well, it's due in large
part of Toby's help."

"See, he's good for more than just going to parties and having dinner!"

I laughed, "Yeah, I think I'll keep him around." I ate another chip, "Any
reason why you wanted to have lunch today?"

"Honestly, I just wanted to spend time with you," she said.

Linda's admission caught me off guard. It wasn't that it was a shift for
her, she'd always been friendly and Toby had told me several times how much
his parents liked me, despite my obvious shortcomings and awkwardness. No,
what got to me was how she told me and the tone she used, the emotion clear
in her voice as it broke and wavered just a tiny bit.

"Really?" I asked her.

Her eyes kind of sparkled as she looked back at me, "Well, yeah. I wanted
to spend some time with the person who is making my son a man. He's changed
dramatically in the last few months, and it's all because of you."

I just glanced at her, "Oh, it's not all me..."

She gave me a look, forcing me to stop, "Don't do that. Don't even for a
second think that you haven't forced him to change. What he's going through
is something that some men never go through. It's realizing who they are
and what truly matters, having someone who cares about you and who you care
about. He found that in you and I couldn't be happier for him." That got
me.

"But you make it sound like I did all this myself, like it wasn't already
present in Toby, but it was. That's all I meant when I said it wasn't all
me."

She laughed, which drew some looks from the people who were around
us. "Don't take it that way, Rob. Yeah, you brought out what was already
there. Does that make you feel better?"

I smiled sheepishly at her, "Yes ma'am, at least not as embarrassed," I
paused, taking a drink from my water, "But I hope you know how much he's
changed me."

She smiled, leaning back in her chair, "Toby's told me a little about a bad
relationship earlier this year, but he didn't elaborate too much."

I swallowed hard, thinking about what that meant. Toby was really open with
his parents, much as I was with mine. For him not to have shared all the
gory details, in my mind, meant he was being protective. There was a limit
to how much he'd share out of school.

"Well, bad is putting it pretty mildly. There were some things I didn't
tell him about initially because I was pretty sure he would want to take it
out on the guy. When I did tell him about them, he tried to hold it
together by putting some distance between us."

It was like a light went off in her head, "Was this in mid September?"

"Yes ma'am, not long after my birthday."

"He was really down for a few days, then started to get better. He wouldn't
talk to David or me about it, just said it was something he had to push
through. We thought it was a simple fight, that he'd done something to get
under your skin and you'd had enough."

I sighed, "No ma'am, that wasn't it at all. I..." and right then the waiter
came to the table. We gave him our orders then sat in silence as he walked
away, but only briefly.

"What happened?" she asked, the empathy in her voice so obvious that I
really found it touching.

"Last summer I did something really stupid with my boyfriend at the time. I
didn't realize it, because I trusted him, but I put my life in danger in a
very real way."

Linda's eyes went wide as what I said sunk in. She started to ask, "Are
you..."

"OK? Yes ma'am, 100%. But it was a scare and made me really nervous about
trusting anyone. I got out of my head on that a little when I was at my
stepfather's place in California, but it was Toby who pulled me the rest of
the way through. Your son..." I started to tear up, "means everything to
me."

Linda's eyes were watering as well, "Oh, Rob...I really appreciate you
telling me what happened. Sometimes... well, he's never really been private
with us and I guess..."

"I'm almost certain he was trying to protect me, that it had nothing to do
with y'all but was about making sure he didn't tell you something I was
really uncomfortable talking about."

"Well, it's natural. It's something David and I should have figured out on
our own, given the way we are with our parents. There just comes a time
when you find someone and you don't want to betray them, no matter how
small a thing it might be."

I nodded. "I'm sorry I wasn't more forthcoming about it, it was a really
bad time that I honestly hate even thinking about, let alone talking
about."

Her eyes glistened, "I completely understand, kiddo. No need to apologize."

We talked about plans for Christmas and I was excited to meet her parents,
who would be at their house, despite her warning.

"You have to remember, they're from a different time and while they love
Toby, him coming out has caused some 'issues' for them. They'll be on their
best behavior, but something will slip out and I'm begging you please don't
take it personally."

The waiter showed up to drop off the food and after he left, I explained
MoMo to her and some of the awkward things she'd said when she met Toby.

"Don't worry about me, I'm prepared. They're not going to chase me off."

By the time Linda dropped me back at the house, my father and Toby had
shown up and already had the birds cleaned. Toby left almost immediately,
going home to finish up some homework and get ready to come back later with
his family. I got started actually cooking and by 245 had everything in the
oven, ready to pull out around 7 for dinner. I remember standing in the
kitchen, just taking a break and thinking about if I'd left anything undone
before I heard my father behind me, clearing his throat.

I turned around to see him smiling, "It's all going to be fine, son."

I smiled back at him, "Thanks, Dad."

He just stood there, looking at me, and I finally asked, "What?"

"You remind me a lot of your mother..."

I laughed, "Come on, Dad. Just because I can cook doesn't make me the
woman."

"Not what I meant, I promise. You picked up the best pieces of her,
kindness and a need to make everyone around you comfortable." He walked
over to me, and put his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the
eye. "Those are exceptional qualities in any person and Toby is lucky."

Yeah, I teared up a bit. "Thank you."

He dropped his hands, smiled, and said, "Well, I guess we better go get
cleaned up."

I went upstairs and took a quick shower, then laid down for about 30
minutes. I'll admit, I was nervous. The conversation I'd had with Linda
earlier in the day ended up hitting me a lot harder than I'm sure she
thought it would. I wasn't certain I was ready for all this and I ended up
chewing on that for a while. It wasn't me being uncertain about how Toby
felt, it was whether or not I was ready. I was sure Arya would call it
progress, since I wasn't thinking about the problem from the perspective of
others. For once, I was thinking about myself first and it felt odd.

I wanted a life with Toby. I didn't feel the need to 'explore' anything,
but I was nervous about setting a path for my life at the age of 16. I knew
when I committed to something, I was going to do it. What most people
viewed as indecision was really hesitation and the knowledge that once I
took the leap, there wasn't any going back... one way or another, I was
going to end up on the ground, either landing easy or coming to a sudden
stop, all broken and bloody.

I finally got up, dressed, and came downstairs to check on
everything. About 15 minutes later, the Martin's called from the gate and I
let them in. My father, Johnny On The Spot, let them in the door and took
them to the family room for drinks.

Toby came into the kitchen and we embraced, something I realized I'd never
tire of doing. It was the perfect way to break the feeling I'd had earlier.

"You OK?" he asked, softly, as his face was buried in my neck.

"Yeah," I told him, "I'm all good."

"The come on, let's go join the rest of them."

We walked into the family room to find my father tending bar, talking with
David and Linda, while Cat and Reese were keeping Angie entertained. My
father and Toby's parents were talking about some jackass congressman who'd
been by to visit my father the day before. Linda was relating how bad the
guy was on LGBT issues and my father just laughed.

"Yeah, I asked him about that. He was pretty puffed up at first until his
staffer mentioned that my son was gay."

"How could he have known that?" I asked.

My father just started laughing, "Son, you've never made any attempt to
hide who you are and politicians keep pretty extensive files on
donors. They know who the kids are, spouses, you name it."

Linda jumped in, "So what happened then?"

"Well, he tried to gloss over it, basically stumbling around for a few
minutes before I dropped the axe on him."

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"I told him I wasn't writing any checks to GOP candidates until they got
right on LGBT issues. He started to ramble about how much 'The Party'
needed my support and how voters really wanted to maintain the status quo
on marriage. That really pissed me off, so I told him those same voters are
just like the ones who had issues with miscegenation and that if he felt
like he needed their support, then he should ask them for money."

Linda died laughing, "You actually said miscegenation?"

My father, a big smile on his face, "Of course! I wanted to see if the
moron knew what it meant."

"Did he pick up on it," David asked.

My father took a long drink, the smile never leaving his face, "Not that I
could tell. His staffer was smirking the whole time, though. I got up and
walked them to the door and they left. Honestly, it was the most fun I've
had with a politician since I interned for Bob Bullock when I was a kid."

Linda coughed on her drink, "Bullock? You have to be kidding me?"

"Nope. Worked for him during the 91 session. He was the only person in my
life who could dress me down and make me feel like I was naked. Then, 20
minutes later, he'd compliment me for doing something right and make me
feel like a million bucks. He was a workaholic and probably the best boss I
ever had because he gave me some good advice."

"What was it," Linda asked.

"'You're not cut out for politics. Go make money' and the way he said money
was like he was saying 'dirt'."

Linda howled, "He told me I needed to run for State Representative as soon
as possible and that he'd endorse me."

My father laughed, "DAMN, he musta really liked you!"

Toby, shocked, "Wait a second... who is Bob Bullock?"

Linda and my father glanced at each other and shrugged before she answered,
"He was the former Lieutenant Governor of Texas."

"You worked for him? How did I not know this?" Toby asked, incredulous.

 "Because all kids think their parents lives started when they were born,"
Linda laughed out.

I glanced at the clock and decided it was time to pull the cassoulet and
get the baguettes in the oven, so I bowed out while Toby got to learn about
his mother's life prior to having him.

15 Minutes later, I came back in and told everyone dinner was
ready. Everyone filed in and while the cassoulet wasn't my mothers, it
ended up really good. Linda and my father continued to talk politics while
David talked to Toby and I about all kinds of things. David is a really
interesting person and you can see his face light up, just like Toby's did,
when talks about certain things.

By 9 we were all finished up, so I started clearing dishes. We went through
all the first and more than half of the second cassoulet and I put a note
on the second one to my father to leave some for Mrs. Witsun who had
mentioned that she wanted to try it.

About 945 we all said good bye to the Martin's. My father looked at me when
the door closed, smiled, then looked at Toby.

"I have to tell you, I really like your parents."

Toby laughed, "I think they liked you, too, Mr. Hallstrom."

"Well, you boys have fun."

We left to hang out with Mark at a party in a pasture near somewhere called
Melissa. I was LOVING it since it was, well, a pasture party. Toby hated
every second of it, but as usual, he was indulgent and patient.

The next day, I drove Cat down to Ouichita for the day. Mother was really
impressed with the cassoulet I'd brought her, but recommended a little more
salt next time, something I already knew from the way everyone spent their
own special time with the salt shakers while eating.

That week I finally broke down and did some Christmas shopping since I was
already forced to shop by Toby's insistence on wearing matching ties and
pocket squares to his dance. I told him it was a bad idea, but he insisted
one night, even going so far as to show me a tie he'd picked out. Toby, to
be brutally honest, had some appalling taste and there was no way I was
going to wear the ugly damn tie he'd picked out. So, I offered to pick
something up and just decided not to say from where since he'd freak out.

Which is how I found myself at Hermes. I'd told my father what I wanted to
do, sort of as an end run around yelling at me again for overspending. I'd
already decided to pick up some things for my sister, mother, aunt, and
grandmother so throwing in two ties really wasn't going to make much of a
dent.

There is nothing more uncomfortable for me that shopping in any store at
Highland Park Village. Yeah, I was gay and had great taste, but luxury
shopping wasn't really my thing. If I could get away with t-shirts and
shorts all year round, I'd do it in a heartbeat. That being said, if I was
forced to dress up, I sure as hell wasn't going to look like I got my tie
from JC Penny. In 1982.

Now, I honestly didn't expect to see anyone I knew at the Hermes store. I
thought, maybe, I'd see some friend of my aunt's who might recognize me,
but it was really doubtful. The last person I expected to see there was
Darnell. I'd been in the store for 20 minutes picking things out when I
remembered my mother had told me to get a bag for Cat, something she just
had to have. As I made my way over, there was Darnell.

"Darnell?" I asked.

He whipped around in an instant, shocked that someone had recognized him
and then relieved when he saw it was me.

"Oh, fuck man! You scared the crap out of me!"

I laughed, "Well, imagine my surprise when I see one of the straightest
guys I know checking out handbags!"

"Picking one up. My mother made a comment about wanting one so my father
ordered it and sent me to get it."

"Very cool. Any idea what it is?"

He rubbed his head, "Berkshire? I don't know, it's something you had to get
on a list for or something?"

I just smiled, "Yeah, you needed to be on a list. When you're done, you
want to go grab something at Starbucks?"

He smiled, "Hell yeah!"

It took me another 20 minutes and he waited on me, then we left together
after I stowed my bag in the car. He wanted to just walk over, so I finally
told him what he had in that orange bag and his eyes went wide. Right after
he deposited his bag in his trunk, we walked over to Starbucks. He was
worried about the bag, but I told him I figured if anyone was brave enough
to break into our cars during Christmas here, they could enjoy it for the
time they'd have it because there was no chance for a quick get away.

We caught up on friends and just talked in general about how things were
going. There was a new girl who'd moved to Ouichita whom he'd started
dating. Things were going well, but his parents weren't all that excited
about it.

"What's their deal?" I asked.

He sat back, sighing, "It's her family. My parents are snobs. Her dad is an
accountant and her mother is a home health care nurse. They're both first
generation through college and neither of them have a masters or a
doctorate so my parents think..."

"Their daughter isn't good enough for their son?"

"Ain't that some bullshit?"

After making him promise not to share it with anyone, I told him about my
dad and the $100 the first time Toby and I went on an actual date. He
laughed his ass off, mostly at my father thinking I'd be the chick.

I just shrugged, "Parents can be weird, but they're just looking out for
us. Your parents just want what's best for their son."

He thought for a second, "They don't get that I'm the lucky one. They think
I'm going to go the way Wayne did and honestly, I don't think so. She, on
the other hand, is smart as hell and for some reason she likes me."

I smiled, "I think we're in the same boat. I have a feeling my father
expects me to work with him, but I don't think it's for me. Let them see
Christy for what she is and I bet sooner or later they're going to realize
that she's really good for you."

"Oh, they're going to see that in a few days. She's been helping me in
English and Geometry and my grades are going to really improve."

"Do you ever feel like a dummy being with someone smarter than you?" I
asked.

He smiled, "You too?"

"Every fucking day. Especially with math. But I don't feel bad about it,
I'm just happy."

He took a long sip from his coffee and smiled, "Yeah, me too."

We hung out for another 15 minutes, then said our goodbyes and hugged. For
the record, HE reached out to give me a hug which I thought was really
cool. What had started when he met Toby was evidently permanent and I was
really happy he felt comfortable enough with me to do that.

The rest of the week was pretty boring, leading up to the start of vacation
and Toby's dance. We honestly looked damn good, and Molly and some of the
other girls gave Toby compliments on this tie, which he finally told me
about only after we were leaving the dance to go to a party.

The break gave Toby and me a chance to really spend time together without
having to worry about school or football or, well, anything. We spent a lot
of time watching movies we loved, playing games, and in general just being
with one another.

Christmas Eve we spent at my aunt's which was really nice since we did it
early in the day, then went to Toby's that night. I got to meet his
grandparents from his mother's side who were really great if a little put
off by the whole 'gay' thing. His grandfather was a little weird about it
and kept asking when Toby turned into 'a gay' while his grandmother just
told him to be quiet since she didn't want me to hear. Reese was the one
who had to go in while laughing his head off and tell them we could hear
everything they were saying.

The next morning, after doing Christmas Day with my father, Cat and I drove
to Ouichita to see my mother. We were going to be there until Wednesday, so
we could actually relax and pretend, for a little while, we lived there
again.

That night my mother had dinner planned for us and we all opened presents
after, then settled in for Bad Santa which had become one of our favorite
holiday movies, a fact that Neil found really, really strange.

I spent the rest of the time seeing my friends and hanging out. Toby ended
up coming down on Monday and stayed with us, so he got to meet some of the
people he'd not had a chance to meet at that point. Plus, he got to hang
out with Josh. A lot. The two of them were a lot closer than I'd ever
realized and they just liked spending time together. At first, I didn't
know how to feel... I mean, Josh was my brother and I wanted to spend time
with him. But, it did give me chance to do things with my mother and Lane,
who were more than up to the task of keeping me occupied with their games
of Scrabble.

After lunch on Wednesday, we drove back to Plano and spent the rest of the
second week of vacation much like the first. I was really glad my father
didn't take us to New York since it would have added a whole other layer of
stress to the travel we already did. I think he thought it would be too
much since it was the first Christmas after the custody change, but he
never actually addressed it.

New Years Eve was what I'd been looking forward to. My father had gone to
New York to ring in the new year with family and his new girlfriend. That
left Cat and I to our own devices and with him being gone, he was once
again easy about Toby spending the night.

Bennett was having a big party and Josh and Lane came up for it. The four
of us ended up eating dinner together, then going to the party. Josh had
become something of a minor celebrity in Plano after the Halloween party at
Marks where he got to spend a lot of time drinking beer with his football
admirers. I'd told Toby earlier in the evening that I needed that kiss at
midnight since I really needed some good luck. He almost missed it, showing
up out of breath at 11:58. Right as everyone said 'Happy New Year', he
kissed me intensely, not caring who was around or how it might look. I, as
I usually did when he kissed me like that, did my best imitation of a
deboned chicken. I was really lucky to have someone whose kiss left me like
that and who could hold me up when it had the effect he really wanted. The
amazing thing about it was that he was never cocky about his ability to
leave me breathless, he was just clearly satisfied that he could make me
feel (as he put it) as wonderful as I made him feel.

We'd left the party a little after one and made it back to my house in
record time, flew upstairs and got down to making one another feel
incredible. It was patient, sweet, exciting... it was amazing. One thing
I'd noticed was that Toby got better every time we were together. He could
read me like I could read him, instant and unspoken communication of desire
sent directly to the other in a way that even the brain didn't read, it
just went straight to the body. Press here, lick there, rub around that
spot. It was like putting on your favorite pair of jeans, the ones that
made your ass and package look amazing... comfortable, sexy, and completely
satisfying.

We were both so spent after that we didn't clean up, instead we got
comfortable under the covers. I fell into a deep sleep, my head resting on
his chest as his right arm curled around me, holding me to his warm body. I
don't even remember hearing him say good night, just 'I love you' to which
I murmured a response that I'm sure was barely intelligible.

The dream I had that night started beautifully, but quickly took a turn for
the worst. We were on a river, rafting downstream when we knocked into a
large rock and Toby lost his grip, flipping out of the raft. He managed to
grab on and I tried to haul him back in, we hit another rock and I flipped
out. I couldn't find my footing and the water was so turbulent that even
with the vest I was wearing, I was having problems keeping my head above
water. I reached out to grab Toby's hand and brushed against it, just as
something hit the helmet I was wearing, knocking it loose.

I started to panic and I knew he could see it as our eyes met, his filled
with fear for me, mine filled with desperation. He stretched back as far as
he could, finally grabbing my fingers and tightening down painfully. I
could see him saying, 'I'm not letting you go', just as I was sucked down
and he lost his grip.  I woke up screaming and coughing, thinking I was
still drowning, only to feel the bed around me and Toby gripping me tightly
trying to calm me down using all the tricks he'd picked up. It took 20
minutes for me to put myself back together, the whole time looking at him,
pleadingly, while occasionally saying, 'Please don't let me go'.

It was the first time I saw real fear in Toby's eyes. He wasn't worried
about me or my mental state, he was worried about something happening to
me. He'd come to accept that while my dreams weren't prophetic, they
definitely meant something bad was coming.

And he was determined to do everything he could to stop it.

Thanks for reading! Any comments can be sent to doncornelius69 at yahoo dot
com.

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