Date: Sat, 24 Feb 2001 17:35:56 -0500 From: Bill Porter Subject: What Gets Around Comes Around Chapter 3 What Gets Around Comes Around Chapter 3 A special thanks to Ed for his editorial help. People often do things that are very harmful. But teenagers can be very cruel. This is the story of one such cruel boy who has to learn the hard way 'what gets around comes around'. Although this is a work of fiction it's based in part on things that have really happened. For those of you who read my last story 'My Bodyguard', this one is quite different. This is a story about revenge, paybacks, and ultimately reconciliation. Although this is not a porn story it does deal with sexual relationships between teenage boys. If that offends you don't read it. Also if you are not old enough or it's illegal where you live don't read it. All comments are welcome to, wep363@netzero.net Check out my web page: http://wpstories.tripod.com/ ******* There are things that happen in any relationship. When two people spend all their time together they become more alike. If you hang out with ass-holes you're going to become an ass-hole. If you hang out with someone who has unconditional love you're going to develop unconditional love. You either grow closer together or you grow farther apart. It's ironic that if there is a problem, the person with the problem is always the last person to know that they have a problem. Curt has feelings that he has never had before. His heart has always been filled with hate. He hates his parents. He hates anyone that is different. For the first time in his life he is experiencing love and he's not sure how to deal with it. Curt has grown to love John. In the two months since John first invited him over to his house Curt has changed in many ways - not all for the better. He has gone from straight A's to C's and B's. His perception of reality has also changed. He's become lazy and unresponsive. He's becoming what he hates and he's starting to hate himself. He has a great conflict brewing deep inside between his love for John and his hate for anyone who loves other boys. Everything is about to come to a head when his parents see his report card. Report cards are coming just in time for Christmas break. John on the other hand is tired. He's tired of being something he's not. He's tired of believing his own bullshit. He knew when he started this little game that he would draw himself down some. He didn't know how much farther he could go. His grades are down too. John loves Curt unconditionally but it's becoming harder. He is definitely not in love with him. They have a lot of things in common but Curt's attitude gets on John's nerves. Curt isn't a giver, he's a taker, and his taking has just about worn John out. John figures it's about time for him to come clean with Curt and start being himself again. He's tired of always playing Curt up and biting his tongue. Things are about to come to a head! Curt decides that he needs to deal with his feelings. The only one he felt that he could talk to is John. He knew that he could not come out and say what's on his mind because John in his mind is totally straight. They went to a private place they like to go. It's on the top of a rocky outcropping with a vista below that runs for miles. The boys get high and this gives Curt the nerve to speak. "John, have you ever been in love with someone?" "Once." "What's it like?" "Well, you think about them all the time. You're afraid that they don't love you the same way that you love them. You hope and pray that one day they will love you the same way that you love them and not have your love rejected." "Have you ever had someone love you back the same way you love them?" "Once," John sighed. "What happened?" "It happened before we knew each other back in junior high. We were very much in love. But someone else hit on my love and then humiliated my love. My love was so humiliated the whole family moved away forever. I'm still not over it." Tears ran down John's cheek and he wiped them off with his jacket sleeve. "So what did you do? Cut the balls off the guy that humiliated your girlfriend?" "I'm not that way, Curt. I can hate people's actions but I can't hate the person. Why all the questions? Are you in love with someone, Curt?" John already knows the answer to his question. He had seen the same love in Brian's eyes that he sees in Curt's eyes. "I've never been in love and I was just wondering what it's like." "Love can be very painful. Love is not a switch that you can turn on and off. You can't control who you fall in love with. Once you fall in love even if the person is no longer around you still love them. However you can't expect someone you love to change just to suit you. That never works." Both boys became quiet, lost in their own thoughts. Soon it got cold and they headed for home. Both boys are in for a surprise. John walked in his house and both his parents were waiting for him. "John, we need to talk to you," said his father. "I just received your report card and some of your grades are slipping. We need to know what we can do to help. You have never had a problem that you couldn't talk with us about. Please tell us what's wrong and we will together do whatever we can do to help. If you still intend on going to an Ivy League college you have to get your grades back where they were. If you have changed your mind, just let us know. I want you to know we're here for you. What do you need from us?" "Mom, Dad, I'm sorry about my grades but I'm trying to save someone's life." "This someone would not happen to be Curt, would it?" "Yes." "Come clean, John. He's not the type of person that you hang out with and you have been spending all your spare time with him. I'm not stupid and I know he's the cause of your grades going down. That and I think you have been partying a bit too much lately." "Okay, Curt is the one who outted Brian and I have been trying to get him to fall in love with me to teach him a lesson. I know he's a good guy way down inside and I have been trying to awaken the goodness in him and teach him unconditional love." "And more power to you, Son, but DON'T let it drag you down too. Look, I think you're too old for me to tell you what to do or how to handle your life. I admire the fact and understand what you're trying to do but you have already been hurt. We're here to help you pick up the pieces but who is going to be there to help Curt pick up the pieces?" "I never thought of that! I guess I need to rethink some things." "I can see it, John, he's in love with you," said John's mother. "He's not in love with me! He's in love with who he thinks I am! He couldn't deal with the real John Conners. I've been playing up to him. He has never seen the real me. I've been changing my personality to be like him and I'm sick of it." "I'll leave you with two things to think about, John. First, if you open up and be yourself, he'll probably love you twice as much as he does now. Second, the longer you play this game the more dangerous it becomes. You're almost a man now and so is Curt. If he discovers that you have been playing with his emotions he might just borrow his dad's gun and blow you away. I suggest that you tell him that your parents feel he's a bad influence on you and we don't want you to spend any more time with him. Let him stew a while and see what happens. If he falls apart you need to be there to help pick up the pieces. You will need to come clean with him. Who knows? If his love for you is strong enough, it might just turn him around. Be careful, John, and I hope it works." "Thanks, Dad and Mom, for your support. I'm not happy with what I'm becoming. I will break it off with Curt for now. But if he decides he needs my help he's going to get the real me." "Be true to yourself, John, and I'm sure that all will work out." Curt walked into his house and saw his dad with his report card in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other. "There you are, you little ass-hole - what is this shit? B's and C's instead of A's. Tell me, what the fuck has gotten into you? "I guess I just need to try harder." "Bullshit - don't give me that crap! I know exactly what the fuck is happening here. You're turning into one of those damn faggots. I could understand if it was some girl - but no - you're throwing your future away for some guy? What are you two doing, smoking crack? I forbid you to spend any more time with that Conners kid - period! Understood?" Curt knew better than to openly defy his father. If he talked back to his father, he'd first be picking himself off the floor and then his dad would throw him out. "Yes, sir." "Now go to your room. You're grounded until you get your grades back up. If you try to sneak out to see your faggot friend, don't plan on coming back home. You won't have a home any longer. Now get out of my sight." Curt went to his room and cried until he fell sleep. He woke up the next morning and both his parents were gone. He called John to tell him what his father had said. John informed him that his parents had said the same thing but in a nicer way. John told him that it's better that they broke it off before they really get in trouble. This broke Curt's heart. He now knew that John was just a friend and didn't love him the same way he loved him. The next week is the longest of Curt's life. He is off from school for Christmas holidays and had planned to spend it with John. The newfound love in his heart is melting away the hard crust that surrounds it. School and a new year started. John got on with his life. The boys no longer talked at school. Curt withdrew unto himself and concentrated on his schoolwork and training for track. Curt totally threw himself into it, trying to cover up the pain he felt in his heart. The next three months was a living hell for Curt. He had pushed all his other friends aside to spend time with John and now he had no one to even talk to. He didn't make captain of his track team but did break the state record in the two hundred meters at their first meet. He got his grades back up and his father got off his back and he's no longer grounded. The three months away has just made Curt love John that much more. You don't know what you have until it's gone. John's doing great. He is elected to be student body president in his senior year and all his grades are back up. He sees Curt in the halls and at lunch but doesn't ever start a conversation with him. He keeps a close eye on him and has noticed that he has changed. He's no longer the brash cocky kid he was before. Spring break comes and Curt's parents go away for a week and leave Curt at home. Curt decides that he can't take it any more. He has to tell John how he feels even if he's rejected. He knows it could destroy his life but it's a chance that he has to take. He picks up the phone and dials John's number with tears running down his cheeks. "Hello." "Hi, John, sniff, this is Curt, sniff, can - can we talk?" "Sure, what's wrong, Curt?" "I can't tell you over the phone. Could ya come over - Please?" "What about your dad, Curt?" "There's no one here and they will be gone all week." "I'll be there in a few minutes." Curt tried to clean himself up before John got there but there was nothing he could do about his bloodshot eyes. As soon as John came in the door, Curt threw himself into John's arms and started crying again. "What's wrong, Curt? What hurts?" "My heart, John," he replied softly. "I love you." Curt felt incredible in John's arms. He felt something he never felt before. He felt loved. John held Curt in his arms until he calmed down. "Curt, there is something you need to know." "I know you hate me - because I'm in love with you - because I'm in love with a boy - because I'm a hypocrite - because you don't love me." "Curt, I hate no one. But there is something you need to know. I can't tell you. I have to show you. Go take a shower and get yourself cleaned up and pack an overnight bag. We need to take a trip. I'll go pack a bag and make a phone call. Then I'll be back. We'll come back tomorrow. Is that okay with you?" "Whatever you say, John. I'm just glad you don't hate me." It is still early in the morning. John and Curt readied themselves and left town. There was an uncomfortable silence the entire 5-hour trip to Dallas. John pulled into a house in a nice neighborhood and the boys got out of the truck. John knocked at the door and Brian appeared at the door and threw himself into John's arms and kissed him on the cheek. "I missed you so much, John." "I missed you too, Brian." At this point Curt wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Brian was the last person he expected to see. Tears once again started down his cheeks. Brian finally noticed Curt and saw the tears. "What's he doing here?" Brian asked John. "He came to apologize. You remember when I told you about my love and what happened, Curt? Well, this is my Love!" Curt once again broke down and started crying like a small baby. "Com'on, Brian, let's get him in the house," John said. The boys helped Curt into the house and led him to Brian's room. After about 10 minutes Curt calmed down enough to talk. "John, Brian, I'm sooooo sorry. I've been incredibly selfish. Not only did I destroy your life, Brian, but I destroyed John's life too and didn't even know it. I don't expect you guys to ever forgive me but I'll try to make it up to you any way I can." "Is he for real, John? If you would have told me Curt has changed this much I would not have believed it." "Love has a way of changing things, Brian. He thinks he's in love with me but he doesn't even know who I am. The really sad part is he doesn't know himself either. He doesn't even know right from wrong and good from bad. He's very confused right now and needs our help and understanding. It took an incredible amount of guts for him to tell me he loves me. I love you, Curt, but I'm not in love with you. Do you understand?" "Not really! If you did the same thing to me I did to you guys I'd be looking for a gun to shoot you. How can you stand to even be in the same room with me? I'm responsible for destroying your life, Brian, and your relationship with John. How can you say you love me, John, when if I were you I'd hate me?" "I've heard you say that God hates queers, Curt. Do you think God hates you?" "Of course he does. The Bible says so." "I don't know what Bible you're reading but my Bible reads 'God is love and we are to love everyone and not judge anybody'. If it's true that God hates queers then I'm better than God because I don't hate anyone. I don't feel sorry or pity for you either, Curt. I just want to see you happy and well adjusted. Do you really believe my love is greater than God's?" "No, I don't but my whole life I've been taught that queers will burn in hell." "What is hell, Curt?" "Hell is a place where you suffer forever and ever." "That's incorrect. Hell is being separated from God. Why do you think God wouldn't want you around?" "Because of the bad things we do." "Wrong again. The Bible says that we all have sinned and deserve to die. God separates souls from him because they are filled with hate. God can't tolerate HATE. God is LOVE, not hate. Heaven is being near to God. How do you get near to God, Curt?" "By not sinning." "Curt, you have a lot to learn. You get close to God by having love in your heart and not hate. I know you're confused right now but if you need help I'd be glad to help you. Just don't assume that because I care for you as a person that I'm in love with you. I don't fall in love with someone because of the way they look. I fall in love with someone because of what's inside. Way down inside I can see you're a good person, but what you show the world is a cold uncaring bigoted hypocrite. You don't ever consider the problems created by your actions." "I've been quiet up to this point," Brian interjected. "I don't hate you, Curt, but I don't trust you either. You destroyed my love and my life. I have moved on. I have a new boyfriend now and I'm happy. I got lucky. What if my parents weren't understanding and threw me out and I ended up dead or worse? My blood would be on your hands. And what about that other kid you outted, Jimmy? What happened to him? I could have been killed when I got beat up at school and ended up in the hospital. I have recovered physically but I'll never be the same happy kid I was before. It took a lot of guts to face up to John and me but I think you guys better leave now. Perhaps after you get your head on straight, Curt, you'll be welcome here but I don't trust you. However I do forgive you. To make mistakes is human and to forgive divine." John led Curt out to his truck and went back inside to talk to Brian. He wanted to make sure that Brian understood his reasons for bringing Curt there. Brian understood but also felt that he was a third wheel and that John needed to straighten out Curt on his own. They talked for a few minutes and John was happy that Brian has a new boyfriend and is happy now. They said goodbye and John promised to visit again. When John got back in his truck he realized that he had not eaten all day long and it's getting dark. "You hungry?" "I'm starving." "Great, I know a quiet restaurant in Arlington that has good food." John started up the truck and backed out of Brian's driveway. They had to endure rush hour traffic and it took almost an hour and a half for them to get the 30 miles from northwest Dallas to Arlington. On the way both boys are deep in their own thoughts. Curt's self worth is at an all time low. For the first time he's starting to understand the consequences of his actions. John is concerned that he shouldn't leave Curt alone until he's sure Curt is going to be okay. He's thinking that they have 6 more days left of spring break and perhaps they can start over with their friendship. He just needed to make clear that is all he's looking for. John finally pulls into the restaurant called U R Cooks. It's a concept that has not really caught on anywhere but in the Southwest. You choose any steak you want out of a reach-in cooler and cook it yourself at a broiler located in the center of the restaurant. They also have a huge salad and sides bar. Cooking the steaks together helped lighten the mood. They ate their steaks quietly. Finally Curt spoke up. "John, I'm still a bit confused. You wanted me to fall in love with you." "That's right." "Just to teach me a lesson." "I don't intend on hurting you, Curt. That's why I stopped talking to you three months ago. I know what I was doing was dangerous but I felt you were worth it. I felt if you understood how love feels you might grow up and think about others." "I can't sort out everything going on in my mind right now, John. I need help." "That is the first step in getting help with anything, Curt, to admit that you have a problem. There are no support groups for ass-holes, Curt. You get a bunch of ass-holes together and all they do is fuck each other. I promised my parents that I would help pick up the pieces when the time came." "Your parents know that you're gay?!" "Yes, I told them when I was 13 years old and they don't care. I knew that you were gay too, Curt. I saw you checking me and other guys out in the locker room. If you're really serious about changing, Curt, the next step is to change your environment. You're a product of your environment, Curt. If you're surrounded by ass-holes you're going to be an ass-hole." "I've been really moody lately and most of my ass-hole friends aren't talking to me anyway." "Your friends are only part of the problem. If you're honest with yourself who has the most to gain and lose?" "Me, I guess." "Good guess, Curt. A year and a half from now you can go to any college you want on a full scholarship. But your dad has you wrapped around his finger. You once told me you hated your father. I bit my tongue at the time but, straight out, you are your father. If you hate your father you hate yourself. You're just like him. You don't like him because you are so much like him." "I guess I never thought of it that way." "Another good guess. I ask you again, do you love your father?" "No, I hate him, so, I guess I hate myself too." "That's your third correct guess in a row. I think we're making progress. Think about that one and let's get out of here and to where we're spending the night." "You have reservations?" "I have to. There is no way any respectable motel will let two 16 year olds check-in without a parent - so I had my dad make a reservation for us at a Holiday Inn." The boys got in the truck and went and checked into the motel. They had an in-room VCR and John rented the movie, 'The Color of Money', with Paul Newman and Tom Cruise. "Curt, this is a movie about pool sharks. The point of the movie is sometimes when you lose, you win, and when you win, you sometimes lose. It's a take off on a movie called 'The Hustler', made in the early 60's with Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason." "I saw that one before, it's an old black and white movie." "That's right, so let's watch this movie." With that John started the movie. The boys watched the movie in silence until it was over. John hit the rewind button. "So did you like the movie?" "Yea, it was good but I still don't get the point." "For being such a smart guy, Curt, sometimes I think you have no common sense. All the games of pool we played, the tennis games, basketball games, and other games, you never let me win!" "Let you win? Why would I want to do that?" "So I don't get tired of losing and not want to play any more!" "I never though of that." "That is because you are so competitive and you don't care about how others feel. I could have beat you any time I wanted but I wanted you to feel like you're the greatest." "Bullshit. You were doing your best." "There you go again, being an ass-hole. You know nothing about me. I've been playing pool and those others games ever since I was big enough. There's a pool table in the game room if you want me to prove it." "You're on, I've got to see this to believe it." They went to the game room and John put a dollar's worth of quarters in the table. The boys shot to see who has the break and John won. Curt watched as John cleared the table. He never even got one shot. John put another dollar in and once again cleared the table. "Enough of this, let's go back to our room." They went back to the room and John says, "Do you get the point now?" "I guess." "What am I going to do with you? Either you get it or you don't." "What I understand is you have been playing me all along. You know just how to get to me. And you're right. If you had played pool like that all the time I would not have wanted to play." "It wouldn't have been any fun for me either. You're right, I have been playing you. But I know when to pick my shots and why. I know what buttons to push." "But why? Why do you care what happens to me?" "I told you that a long time ago. Because of what you did to Brian. I see you as a challenge, Curt. I knew you wouldn't believe me if I told you, just like the pool. You're the type who has to see it to believe it. I told you I want to be a lawyer. I can tell when someone is lying to me or even to themselves. I'd like to see you make it, Curt." "But how?" "By letting your love grow and killing your hate. First you need to quit hating your parents. If you show them love they won't know what to do. Your dad will think you have gone queer for sure if you told him you loved him and started showing it."" "You got that right. I have never told my mom or dad that I love them and I don't." "You start by liking yourself. How can you like others when you hate yourself? The reason that you outted Brian is because you hate that part of you that is like him. You hate yourself for that reason. There's a reason that I'm well liked, Curt. I like myself and I like everyone else. The love you get is equal to the love you give. Curt, you're a very cruel, selfish person and the only hope you got is to surround yourself with people who are not cruel and selfish." "But where can I go? What can I do? Remember, I'm the guy whose life is planned out for." "All you need to do is tell the truth and live the truth, Curt. Do unto yourself what you have done to others. What would happen if you told your dad that you're in love with me and you can't live without me?" "He'd throw me out of the house. I'd be on my own. I'd end-up a total loser." "I've already talked with my parents about it and if they throw you out you can stay with us until you go to college. It's not going to be easy, Curt. But if you really want to change I'm willing to help you. It won't be easy. Unless you change now you're going to spend the rest of your life hating yourself!" "I've had a really stressful day, John. Let me think about all that has happened and we'll talk again tomorrow." "Okay, Curt. I'm tired too. Let's go to bed." The boys showered and got into bed. Curt lay awake for quite some time. "You still awake, John?" "Yea." "Could I join you? I promise I won't try anything. I just want to be close to you." "'S okay." John really was hoping that Curt would join him. John loved the feeling of falling asleep with someone in his arms. He likes waking up that way even better. Curt slowly made his way into John's bed and laid down behind John and put his arm over his shoulder. John moved back into Curt so they are making contact and in no time both boys fell asleep. To Be Continued...