Date: Tue, 3 Aug 2004 21:27:11 EDT
From: KhaymanRice@aol.com
Subject: What's Happening To Me?

Disclaimer:

This story is partially true and is loosely based on my life.  Names have
been changed to protect the innocent.  If you are interested in reading a
real love story and not just a graphic sex story, then this is the story
for you.  This is my first attempt at writing, so suggestions will be
greatly appreciated.  I will enjoy hearing from each of you and will answer
all emails.  Please let me know what you think of if you feel that I should
continue.

Note: To all of my faithful readers and fans.  Thank you for the all of the
kind emails that you sent me, encouraging me to continue writing.  I'd
especially like to thank my boy, Clayton and Jacob, for all of the editing.
Sorry that it's taken me so long to get out chapter 7, but you all know how
hard teachers have to work.


Email me at Khaymanrice@aol.com


Chapter 7

	Nick and I played around on our way to school and had a good time
doing it.  I thought it was really nice that we laughed and joked around
after leaving his apartment, while on the subway, and walking onto the
school's grounds.  In spite of the fact that I knew I had to face Keni when
I got there, I was floating on cloud nine.

	"Nick, let me go meet up with Keni.  I'll get up with you later,
man."  I said to him before going into the building. "We can meet up with
you at lunch or after school, if you want."

	"Why don't I just meet up with you after the game?  You gonna be
busy when school's out.  Don't worry about me, I'll catch up with you
later."

	"Come on, you know I like seeing you whenever I can.  It's not a
problem."  I said, trying to sound pitiful.  He looked at me and smiled.
Man, did I love his smile!

	"Nah, you go ahead and do what you gotta do this afternoon. I'll
meet up with you after the game, if I don't see you at lunch.  I promise!"

	I wanted so badly to kiss him right there where he stood.  "Fuck
the world," I was thinking to myself.  At that moment, I just wanted to
share my feelings with the world about him.  I had come to feel this way
about him in such a short time.  I don't know how it happened but it did.

	"Yeah, ok." I answered.  "Let me go find Keni before the tardy bell
rings.  I need to change.  I'll talk with you later on, ok?" We stared into
his eyes for a minute or so, then he mouthed that he loved me.  I mouthed
the same.

 	I walked on into the building and he headed toward the Student
Union.  When I got close to my locker, I saw Keni standing beside it,
looking like he was in deep thought. "Yo, Keni, wassup, man?"  I said, as
if nothing was wrong.

	He looked up and over at me and I could tell by the look on his
face that he was not happy at all.  "What are you doing, man?"  He asked
me.  I can't ever remember seeing that look on his face.

	His comment put me on the defensive.  "Don't start that bullshit
with me, man.  I messed up, ok?"  I was yelling at him and people were
starting to stare.  "I explained it to mom and dad already.  What do you
want from me?  An apology?" I was getting pissed and I know I was wrong
taking my anger out on him.  I had no idea why I was angry.  A few minutes
ago, I was the happiest man in the world. "I fell asleep last night.  I
fucked up, ok?  Is that what you wanna hear?  I hope so because that's all
you're gonna get."

	He looked at me, shaking his head.  "Wassup with you and that dude,
Zuri? I mean, why are you spending so much time with him?"

	"What're you trying to say, Keni?" I thought that this may have
been the perfect opportunity to come clean with him with the truth, but I
just couldn't.  I felt that I needed to deny it.  I'd never lied to Keni
about anything ever but here I was, lying again.

	"I just wanna know what's up?"  He asked again.

	  "Did you bring my clothes, man?  I need to change before class."
I ignored his question.

	"Yeah, here it is."  He said, reaching into his locker and handing
me his gym bag.  "Something's just not right, Z.  You're fucking up bad.
And, your little stunt last night almost caused mom and dad to cancel our
party Friday night.  You need to stop being so fuckin' selfish, man.  It's
my party, too."

	"Yeah, whatever."  I said, taking the bag from him, slamming my
locker closed and walking away.  I left him standing there, looking at me
walk away and I suppose expecting an answer.

	"When will this shit end?"  I thought to myself.  I went into the
locker room in the gym and took my clothes off.  As I was changing, my mind
kept wandering from Nick to Keni.  My emotions were up and down.  I, on one
hand, was happy with how things were going between Nick and me but on the
other hand, depressed about my newfound relationship with Keni.  I mean,
all of my life, we were inseparable.  We shared everything, talked about
everything and now here I was, unable to share with him my basic feelings
about Nick.  I knew the situation was a little different considering Nick
was a dude and not some brainless chick, but it was my feelings
none-the-less.  I finished dressing and headed to class.

	Classes went on as usual and I kinda put what was going on in my
life on the back burner.  I did manage to extend some invites to the party
and everyone seemed interested in coming.  At lunch, I met up with the
crowd in the union and we had a blast, just like old times.  I even managed
to be cordial to Stace.  She was, once again, pushing up on me. Keni seemed
happy with this by the way he just kept staring at me out of the corner of
his eyes and smiling.  I basically just ignored her advances.  Nick and his
crew didn't show up in the cafeteria for lunch so I assumed he was outside
somewhere. We talked about the game and the party.  It seemed that all
things were back to normal.  The remainder of the day went off without a
hitch.  I went to meet up with Mouse after school, and wanted to tell him
about what had happened with Nick and me last night. When I walked out of
the gym, I saw Mouse walking with some girl.  I assumed she was the girl
that he was talking about, the one that he'd invited to the party.

	"Zuri, Wassup, man?" Mouse asked, walking towards me.  "This is
Mona, my new lady.  Remember I told you about her."

	"Hey, man.  Wassup with you?  Hey Mona!  Nice to meet you.  I heard
lots about you."  I said, showing off my best smile.  "You got my boy here,
walking on cloud nine."

	"Hey, Zuri.  Nice to meet you, too.  Thanks for the invitation to
your party.  It seems to be the social event of the year."  She said,
laughing and hugging Mouse's arm.  She was indeed a hottie and seems to be
really cool personality.  I could see why Mouse liked her.

	"Yeah, you're definitely invited."  I said.  "Hey, Mouse! We need
to get a move on.  The game will be starting soon and you know coach wants
us there ASAP."

	"Yeah, I know.  Mona, I'll see you after the game.  Meet me in the
gym, OK?"  He said, locking her into a full-bodied hug and kissing her.
"Let's get going, man."

	"Nice to meet you, Mona; I'll see you around."  I said to her.

	"Bye, guys" she said.  She turned and walked off towards that
school.

	Mouse and I went on to the gym.  I quickly told him about what had
happened last night, about me missing my curfew.  I don't know why I felt
so freely with telling him all of my business, but I had to tell someone.
"You sure you don't mind me telling you all of this. I know it's not
something you're used to, but I have to talk with someone about it."

	"Z, you know I'm here for you, man, and you know you can tell me
anything as long as you're happy."  He paused a moment, carefully
considering what he was about to say.  "You know, when I think of you and
Nick, and believe me, I've thought a lot about it since you both dropped
the bomb on me, I see you two fitting together, if you know what I mean.
When you were at my apartment last week, you really seemed to have a
connection.  It's hard to explain, man, but I get you.  And FYI, don't ever
worry about what I think or worry about telling me what's going on in your
life.  I'm here for you for the long haul."

	I wanted to hug him.  Mouse had proven time and time again to be a
good friend.  If he wasn't 100% straight, I would have to give him
some.... (joke).  We got to the gym and met up with the team.  We were all
psyched up and ready for battle.  It was our first game of the year and
we'd practiced our asses off.

	When the game began and we ran out onto the floor, I was surprised
to see all of the people that had come out in support.  Mom and dad were
there, shouting like they'd gone mad.  Mona was there waving at Mouse (she
was so cute).  Calli and Stace were there along with the gang, and of
course, there sat Nick with someone who looked just like him.  At first
glance, I thought it was his dad, but I remembered that he was out of town
and this person was really young.  Then, I recognized him.  It was the guy
in the picture that I'd seen the first time I had gone to his apartment.
It was his little brother, Dennis.  They were doing the wolf call, along
with everyone else.  I smiled to myself.  We were hot on the court.  We
played hard and wound up being the winners.  We were stoked because it was
our first game and we'd crushed the opposing team 52 to 22.  The team was
happy, coach was happy, the spectators were happy.  What more could we
want?

	After we finished changing back into our clothes; Mouse, Keni and I
walked back into the gym. I was shocked to see Mom, Dad, Stace, Calli, Nick
and Dennis all standing over by the bleachers talking.  My stomach began to
flutter.  I wanted to be the one to introduce Nick to my parents.  When we
got to them, Dad gave Keni, Mouse and me a big hug.

	"Good game, guys.  The team looks really good this year."  Dad
said.  He was being the typical sports dad, telling us how and what we
could do to improve our game.  It was so funny. We listened as he went on
and on.  Man, could he talk.

	Mom interrupted dad.  "You all played a really good game guys.  I
can't tell you the last time I screamed so much."  She said, kissing me,
Keni and Mouse.

	"Hey mom, dad!" Mouse said.  He always addressed my parents as mom
and dad.  He was like one of the family now.

	"Me either."  Stace had moved over toward me and locked my arm with
hers and snuggled up to me.  "I was screaming your name so much, I think I
am gonna be hoarse."

	Mom and dad smiled at the display of affection.  I was seething,
but kept my cool and pretended it was ok.

	"So, this is Stace.  Zuri, you didn't tell me how cute she was.
Actually, both you girls are very beautiful."  Mom said, addressing both
Stace and Calli.

	They giggled and thanked mom in unison.  "What airheads," I thought
to myself.

	"Yeah, we sure do know how to pick 'em.  Don't we, Z?"  Keni said.
He hugged Calli and kissed on the cheek, then winked at me.

	"Well, you know good taste runs in the family, boys. Look who I
married."  Dad added as she grabbed Mom.

	I rolled my eyes at the comment and felt a tinge embarrassment for
a moment.  I looked at Nick.  He and Dennis looked at us, not saying much.
He looked from me to Stace.  I could see the jealousy in Nick's eyes,
though he was smiling.  I wanted to wrap my arms around him so badly.

	"Mom, Dad, did you meet Nick?"  I asked, trying to break free of
Stace's embrace without doing it too noticeably.

	"Yeah we did, son."  Dad said. "He came up to us and introduced
himself when you were in the locker room."

	"He's such a sweetie," Mom said, looking at Nick and smiling.

	"Z, Mouse, Keni, this is my little brother, Dennis."  Nick said.
"He surprised me today with a visit.  He's gonna stay with me for a few
days until dad comes back"

	Everyone spoke to Dennis.  Keni was still a little standoffish
towards Nick.  I knew in my heart that he suspected what was going on.  I
guess we had that twin thing going on.  I just felt that he could probably
somehow sense my feelings, but if he did, he didn't say.

	"Ok, I'm taking everyone out to dinner."  Dad suddenly announced.
"We have a lot to celebrate, don't you think?  My boys won their first
game. Their ladies are here, their friends are here.  What more could we
ask for?"

	"That's a good idea, honey."  Mom said, looking around at us.

	Everyone accepted and we left the gym and headed to Chelsea's for
dinner.  Dad went all out.  Everything went great.  Surprisingly, everyone
enjoyed each other's company.  I was cordial to Stace.  She and Keni were
cordial to Nick, which made me feel good.  Everything went along perfectly.
I couldn't have asked for a better evening.  I kept looking at Nick and he
stole looks back at me.  Man, I was in love with this Italian.

	After getting home, Keni and I talked for a while.  He sorta
apologized for his behavior earlier that morning and I did too for being an
ass to him when he was talking.  Mom and dad told us good night and we all
headed to our rooms to turn in.  It had been a long day.  When I got to my
room, I did the usual night thing of preparing for the next day.  I had
just gotten out of my pants and crawled into bed when my phone rang.
Assuming it was Nick and not even looking at my caller ID, I spoke into the
phone.

	"Wassup, sexy?"  I said jokingly in my sexiest voice.

	"Hey to you, too.  I knew you'd come around."  The voice said.  I
realized that it was Stace and not Nick.  I almost choked.  I pulled the
receiver from my mouth and mouthed, "Fuck".  I knew I had to go along with
it for now, but I didn't want to.  I wanted to talk with Nick.  "Nah, just
had a good time with you tonight.  Just like old times, don't you think?"
I wanted to throw up...hehe.

	"Yeah, it was cool.  I had a nice time.  We should do it more
often."  This girl just would not give up, I thought.

	"We'll see.  Hey, thanks for being nice to Nick and his little
bruh.  That meant a lot to him."

	"Yeah, he seems ok.  Maybe I did misjudge him a little."  She sorta
giggled.  "You know I can be a bitch sometimes and I guess when you started
hanging out with him, I got a little jealous because you weren't paying
much attention to me."

	"I understand what you're saying, Stace, and thanks for saying it.
You know you're my girl.  But I got to be honest, I'm just not interested
in a girlfriend right now, so you're gonna have to just settle for my
friendship, ok?"

	There was a short pause then she said, "I can handle that, but you
can't blame a girl for trying, can you?"  I could tell she was a little
hurt but she was trying not to let it show.  My cell beeped.  "Stace, hold
on.  I got a beep.

	This time I checked and it was Nick.  I smiled my ass off.
"Wassup, buddy!"  I said into the receiver.

	"Z, wassup man.  Just wanted to call you before I turned in for the
night and thank you again for this afternoon with you and your family.  I
have to call your parents later and thank them properly and yo, thanks for
making Dennis feel so welcomed."

	"I had a good time.  Mom and dad liked you a lot.  I think mom
wants to adopt Dennis.  He impressed her."

	"Yeah, he's a cool guy.  He may be coming to live here for a while
with us.  He and mom are having problems.  Who knows?  We have to wait
until dad gets home to see wassup."

	"Nick, hold on, I got someone else on the other line.  Let me get
them off."

	Before I could hit the flash button, I heard Nick say "You better
not be getting anyone else off but me."  I heard him laugh into the phone.

	"Smart ass." I said.

	I clicked back over to Stace and told her that I needed to go and
that we'd talk tomorrow at school.  She said ok and we hung up.  I clicked
back over to Nick.  "What were we talking about?"  I asked him.

	"You were saying something about getting me off".  He laughed out
loud that time.

	"I did not.  I said I had to get someone off the phone, but I know
you wish I was there to get you off."  I answered.

	"And you know it." was his only response.

	We talked a little more about what had happened that evening and
what we had planned for the rest of the week.  We even talked about the
party that was coming up.  He asked if it would be alright to bring Dennis
along.  I told him it was cool.  After all, Dennis was 16.  He wasn't
exactly a kid anymore and he seemed to be cool.

	I wanted to get off myself after hearing his voice and visualizing
his awesome body and I could tell that he wanted to, too, but he mentioned
earlier that Dennis had walked about into his room and was already laying
on the other bed looking at him.  He told me that he needed to spend some
time with his bruh and that he'd talk with me later.  I was cool with it.

	We hung up and I laid there for a few.  I was gonna jack off but
decided to hold out until I could be alone with Nick again.  I turned the
light out, snuggled up to my body pillow and was out in a matter of minutes
with a smile on my face. Life was definitely looking up, or so I thought.

	Wednesday and Thursday were pretty much routine.  Between school,
practice and trying to divide my spare time between Nick, Mouse and Keni, I
was tuckered out.  Stace was still hounding me, but she was being cool
about it.  We were still making plans for the party.  Lydia, our
housekeeper, did a awesome job of getting everything ready.  Mom said she'd
take care of the food.  Lydia was quite capable of handling the food, but
mom wanted to do it.

	Friday finally arrived.  I woke up excited and literally jumped out
of bed to get ready for school.  I showered and dressed in record time.
Keni was right behind me.  Mom and dad were in the kitchen talking when we
walked in.

	"Happy birthday!"  Mom said as she hugged us both.  Dad did the
same.  "How does it feel to be 18?"  Dad asked.

	"I feel like a grown man, dad.  Did you and mom buy us a car?"  I
joked.  Keni added to this by saying that we should have a car by now.

	Mom answered.  "What for?  You two can't drive.  You've never
driven anything in your life and why would you need a car in NYC anyway?
Everything is so convenient by subway."

	"Well, it never hurts to ask."  I said.

	Keni was quick to ask.  "What did you get us?"  He was acting eight
instead of eighteen.

	Dad walked into the dining room and came back with two boxes, each
nicely wrapped with a bow and bright colored wrapping paper.  "We were
gonna give you these when you two left for college but thought you could
use it now."  Mom said.

	We tore open the presents and found two brand new identical Dell
laptop computers with our names engraved on metal plates on top.  They were
awesome I couldn't believe they'd gotten them for us.  Keni and I were both
speechless.  We knew we'd eventually get one but none as cool as these
were.  We even had a personalized laptop bag and identical flash drives
with it.  We both hugged mom and dad and thanked them for our gifts.

Keni and I separated when we got to school.  I found Mouse and Nick in the
union, sitting and talking like old friends.  It was a welcoming sight to
see my best bud and lover being such good friends.  It seemed here lately,
now that I thing about it, that I see Nick and Mouse hanging around each
other a lot when I'm not around.  It seemed like Nick has all but stopped
hanging around his usual bunch of friends that he was with a few weeks ago.
I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not.

"Wassup!"  I said, walking up on them.  It was obvious they hadn't seen me
walked in.  Both of them looked back at me.  I got the feeling that I was
interrupting something.  "What are you two up to?"  I asked, looking from
one to the other.

Mouse, being the first to answer me, said that nothing and that I'd find
out later.  He gave Nick and quick glance and winked.  Nick smiled.

"Find out what?"  I asked, looking directly at Nick.

"Stop being so noisy, man," Mouse said.  "I said that you'd find out later,
so drop it, ok?"

"Yeah, whatever!" I said.  He could tell that I wasn't OK with it but I
didn't push it.  I figured it had something to do with my birthday.  Nick
finally spoke in a low voice.

"Wassup, baby?"  It didn't seem to bother him at all that Mouse was
standing right there.  I heard Mouse say "Geez" and them rolled his eyes.
Nick and I both burst out laughing.

"Hey, Mouse, I thought you were OK with how we talked, Mr. Liberal-minded
person."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, man!"  he said, smiling.  "I ain't got a
problem with it, but when y'all start all this lovey, dovey shit..."

"Don't knock it, man" Nick said, looking at Mouse.  "Z's my boy.  Can't
help it, you know?"

We chatted a while longer before the first bell, then we headed off in
different directions, saying that we'd meet up at lunch.  The day was
pretty much uneventful.  I gave out a few more invitations to the party and
talked with people about it.  After school dismissed and I'd met up with
Keni, we headed straight home.  I'd called Mouse's cell and told him that
I'd see him between 7:30 and 8 p.m. at my house.  Mouse said that he'd
scoop up Nick and Dennis.

Right as we got home, mom and dad were packing the car, getting ready for
their weekend together in the Poconos.  We met them at the door.

"Hey guys!" mom said, as we both kissed her and dad.  "You sure you don't
want us to stay around awhile to help get things started?"


"Nah, Mom, everything is gonna be fine.  We got it under control."  I said.
Keni joined in and agreement with me. We were stoked that we were about to
have the house to ourselves.

Mom was being a typical mom.  Dad, on the other hand, was ready to leave.
"Honey, let's get going."  he said, looking at his watch.  "We need to beat
that 5:00 p.m. traffic.  They are big boys.  They can handle themselves,
I'm sure."

"I know, I know." She said to dad, making her usual hand gestures when he
irritated her.  "Let me be a mom as long as I can, please." Dad looked at
us then at mom.  He had that 'here it comes' expression on his face, but
before mom could start in on him, I intervened.

"Mom, did you leave that extra money I asked you about?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm almost forgot.  Your dad left it on the nightstand next to
our bed.  Give me a kiss, both of you, before we leave and if you two need
anything, call us."  She was reaching for her jacket and purse.

"You guys be good and take care of everything."  Dad winked at me and
mouthed 'thanks' for temporarily getting him off the hot seat with mom.
Keni and I both smiled after he made a crazy face while walking out the
door.

"Whew! I'm glad they're gone.  Let's get started.  We have a lot to do
before 8:00, man." Keni said, as we began to inspect the house to see what
mom and Lydia had done.  Everything was great; they'd really outdone
themselves.  I guess we didn't have too much to do after all.  We were
really impressed, and after smiling and acknowledging that everything was
groovy, we went to our separate rooms to spend some alone time and to get
ready.

I had to fight the urge to call Nick.  I was feeling so good and I really
wanted to spend some time on the phone with him, just talking.  I know he
was with Dennis, so I was giving him his space.  For the first time in what
seemed like an eternity, I had the opportunity to lie across my bed and
reflect over the events of the last week and a half.  I fell back across my
bed, closed my eyes and meditated.

Before I know what was going on, I felt someone shaking me and telling me
to get up and to get a move on.  Keni was yelling and I was trying to make
sense of what he was saying.  I must have dozed off.

"What time is it?"  I asked, waking feeling a little groggy and rubbing my
eyes to get a clearer view of Keni.

"Yo, man, it's almost 6:30 and people will be arriving around 8 or so.  You
need to get up, shower and get dressed."  He was in a cheerful mood and I
liked that.

Keni walked out of the door and pulled it behind him.  I sat up on the side
of the bed, trying to get myself together.  Thoughts of seeing Nick
immediately flooded my mind and little Z was straining to stand up.  "Damn,
I such a fag," I thought to myself and sort chuckled at the thought of my
thinking of myself as such.  I got up off of the bed, looked at my cell and
saw that Nick, Mouse and Stace had called.  I immediately picked up the
cell to call Nick.

"Yo, wassup?"  came Nick's voice over the phone.  "What you up to?

"Nu'tin' much.  Just woke up and tired as hell.  What are you up to?"  I
asked.

"Just sitting here with Dennis and waiting for Mouse to give me a call.  We
should be there in about forty-five minutes, I think.  You excited?"

"Yeah, I am.  I actually can't wait to see you.  I'm needing you bad, man."

"Is that right?"  he answered.  I knew he wanted to say more, but I knew
Dennis was somewhere nearby.  "Listen, I was just returning your call and I
know your bruh is there, so I won't make you say the things I wanna hear."

"I can dig it."  He responded with a slight chuckle.  "I'll tell you about
it later".  I guess this was his cryptic way of telling me that he wanted
to get some things off of his chest, too.

 	I managed to pull it together.  I spent the next forty-five minutes
so getting ready.  After getting showered and changed, I walked downstairs.
I heard a group of people walking in the house.  I heard someone yelling
"Party in the house", followed by sounds of laughter and talking.  I just
knew we were gonna have a good time tonight.  Not long after I came out and
greeted everyone, Mouse, Mona, Nick and Dennis arrived.  I could hardly
take my eyes off of Nick.  He was looking hot as fuck.

	"Yo, wassup, peeps?"  I said as I went to the door to greet them,
showing my biggest and brightest smile.  Nick was looking at me in a way I
never seen before.  He definitely had something up his sleeves and I hoped
I know what it was.

	"Wassup, Z?  Happy birthday, man" he said, giving me a quick hug
and using that deep, sexy Italian accent.  His voice alone drove me crazy.
He handed me a gift that he said was from him and Dennis.  Mouse followed
with a gift of his own.  I could see that they both had other gifts in
their hands, which I assumed was for Keni.

	"Happy Birthday" Dennis, Mona and Mouse added.

	"Hey, thanks a lot.  This means a lot.

	Everyone else began arriving shortly before 7:30.  The house was
filling up pretty fast and laughter could be heard ringing throughout the
rooms.  Food was everywhere and one of our friends managed to sneak in four
kegs and some alcohol.  I'm glad he had connections.

	As the night moved on and the party started jumping, everyone
seemed in good spirits.  The music was right and the atmosphere was right
for romance.  Stace, not surprisingly at all, was feeling the moment from
having too much to drink, was on me at every turn.

	"Come on, Zuri.  You know you want some.  Let's go up to your room
and mess around some.  I know what you need and I can make you feel real
good."  She said, slurring every other word and hugging me, trying to steal
kisses from me.  "Umm..you smell so good, baby."

	"Yo, Stace, you need to chill, girl.  I think you had a little too
much to drink."  I said.  I was being as polite as possible even though she
was acting like a ho.  "Why don't you go on out to the living room and
chill out some?"  I guess what they say about alcohol bringing out the real
person is true because the next thing I knew, her attitude changed.  She
became someone I didn't know.  Luckily, we were in the kitchen alone and no
one could overhear our conversation.

	"So, what the fuck is up with you, Zuri?"  She spat at me.  "We use
to be cool, but now that your boy is around(and she used her fingers to
make the quotation sign when she said "your boy"), I don't mean anything to
you anymore.  Wassup with that?  I mean, be truthful with me for once in
your sorry ass life."
  "Aren't I enough woman for you or do you need someone with a little more
testosterone to get you going?"  She said smirk on her face.

	I stood there looking at her and thinking of myself, "No this bitch
didn't just say that.  Who does she think she is and more to the point, why
is she saying this to me?"  I got myself together and moved in closer to
her so that we were face to face.  Through clenched teeth, I said, "Only
because you're drunk and totally fucked up right now that I am going to
ignore that comment.  And, for the sake of our friendship, it would be to
your best interest to never speak to me like that again."

	"I'll speak to you anyway..." she started to say when I grabbed her
by the shoulders and moved closer in her face.

	"You need to get over the fact that I don't want you and that I DO
NOT WANT TO FUCK YOU AND NEVER WILL.  Accept the fact Nick is my friend.
He's straight and I'm straight but I would rather fuck another guy than to
put my dick anywhere near your dumb ass.  So the best thing you can do
right now is to take your little innuendos and get the fuck out of my face
and my house."

	When I let her go, she stood and looked at me with hatred in her
eyes.  She'd gone from smiling and acting silly, to begging to hatred in a
matter of minutes.  I didn't give a fuck.  She'd brought it on herself.
"Now, if you don't mind, MISS THANG, I'm gonna find someone to take your
drunk ass home."  I said, walking out of the kitchen, leaving her staring
at me.  I felt somewhat like a hypocrite but then again, just in what I
said to her, the sorry bitch.  I saw Calli talking with a friend of ours
from school and walked over to her and quickly gave her the lowdown on what
went on in the kitchen between Stace and me.

	"You got to be kidding me.  She said all that to you?"  she asked,
really surprised.

	"Yeah and I'd appreciate it if you could get the a ride home or
something.  She's got to go now!"

	"Yeah, don't worry about it.  I'll take care of it.  I'll just tell
Keni that she's sick or something and that I need to get her home.  Man, I
can't believe she went out like that."  There was a pause.  "I'll get
someone to go with me. Keni's had too much to drink.  We both looked over
at him on the other side of the room where he was in deep conversation with
Nick.  They were acting like good old friends, laughing and playing around.
We both paused a moment and looked on in disbelief.

	"Look at them."  she said laughing.  "I can't believe it.  They are
actually getting along."

	"Me either."  I said.  "When did they become friends?"

	"Beats me."  She slowly said as we continued to look on.  "Anyway,
I'll take care of Stace.  You go on back and have a good time.  Don't worry
about anything.  Where is Stace now?"

	"I left her in the kitchen."  I said, still looking over at Keni
and Nick.

	"OK!"  she said.

	"Thanks, Cal, I owe you big time, but please keep this between us,
ok"

	"You know I will."  She said before heading off in Keni's
direction.

	I guess she went to explain to him the situation with Stace.  I
watched for a moment or two as she convinced him that she'd be alright and
that she'd call him later once she got back to Stace's house.  Soon a few
people, along with Calli and Stace, were leaving.  I'm glad she had people
with her to make sure that she got home ok.

	I went to look for Mouse and to tell him what had just happened,
but when I found him, he was all snuggled up with Mona in the den in deep
conversation.  Dennis was in front of the TV with another dude from school
playing a playstation game.  At least everyone was having a good time.
Stace managed to ruin mine.  I couldn't get over what she'd said about her
not having enough testosterone for me.  All sorts of things went through my
mind.  "Could she know what was up with me and Nick and were we that
obvious?"  I was beginning to panic.  I mean, if she'd figured it out, then
who else was thinking the same thing.  "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"  I said out loud
to no one in particular.

	Before I knew it, Mouse was at my side.  "Z, what's wrong, man?"
He was looking at me worriedly.

	I looked around and Mona, Dennis and a few others were looking at
me.  "It's nuffin, man.  Don't worry about it.  Tell you about it later."
I whispered to him, hoping he'd accept that.  He didn't.

	"Nah, Z.  You gotta do better than that.  Wassup, man?"  He
insisted.

	"Alright, come with me for a min.  I'll tell you."

	He looked over at Mona and told her that he'd be right back.  We
went up to my room and closed the door.  I begin to tell him what had gone
on between Stace and me in the kitchen and that I had Calli take her home.
"I mean why would she say it if she if she didn't believe it?"  I said.
"Are we that obvious?"

	"Z, hold up, dude.  Don't start jumping to conclusions `cause of
what she said.  She could have just been saying that because she was pissed
and wanted to get back at your for turning her down."

	We both moved by my bed.  He sat down on it and I straddled my desk
chair in front of him.  "Why did all of this have to happen to me, man?
Don't get me wrong. I love the fuck out of Nick.  I know I do, but why me?
Fuck!"  I said.  My eyes were misting my then.  I was beginning to stress
big time.

	Mouse leaned in closer and grabbed my by the shoulders. "Why not
you?"  He asked.  "You know how lucky you are?  You found someone you
connected with.  What's wrong with that?  I mean, I know you didn't expect
it to be with dude, but do you know how lucky you are to have found
someone......the one?  I said something to you a few days ago about you and
Nick fitting.  I still can't explain it; I still can't put it in words the
way I feel about it, but I see you two filling together, like you were made
for each other.  Forget about what people think, Zuri."  He said, looking
kindly at me.  "That means everyone, including Keni, your parents, Stace,
anyone.  You have to be happy and if it's gonna be with Nick, then so be
it.  You feel me, man?"  He asked.

	Before I could answer him, there was a knock on my door.  "Hey,
Zuri!.  You in here?"  It was Nick.

	"Yeah, come in, man."  I said, getting up from the chair.

	"What's going on in here.  Why you and Mouse up here and not down
at the party?'  He asked, looking from me to Mouse.  "Is something wrong?"
He asked.  I could tell he was really drunk by the way he was weaving back
and forth and by his slurred speech.  "Mouse, you not trying to steal Z
from me, are you?"  He had kind of a serious look on his face.

	Both Mouse and I burst out laughing.

	"Nah, man.  I can assure you."  Mouse answered.  "He's all yours."

	"We just had something that we needed to discuss, but everything's
ok.  We were just about to head back downstairs when you knocked."  I said.
I turned to Mouse.  "We'll finish talking later, ok?"

	"Yeah, cool. I need to get back to my baby before she thinks I
abandoned her or some shit."  Mouse got up off my bed and walked out of the
room, leaving Nick and me alone.

	"So, you having a good time?"  I asked him.

	"Oh yeah.  The party is off the hook.  Thanks for inviting me,
baby."

	"You know you're welcome."  I said in my sexist voice.

	He took the hint and moved in closer toward me.  "Damn, he smelled
and looked so good.  Even in his drunken state, his breath smelled so
sweet.  He leaned in and tongued me.  I melted in his arms.  He walked me
backwards and I fell back onto my bed with him on top of me.  His breathing
became more intense as he tried to devour my mouth with his.  Our hands
were all over each other.  Between breaths and moans, he kept repeating how
much he loved me.

	"I love you too."  I moaned, but before I could get the word
completely out, Keni burst into the room, calling my name and laughing.

	"Yo, Zur..."  was all that he was able to get out.  He came to a
complete stand still; his eyes fixed on both of us.  Nick was on top of me
with his mouth open.

	I was looking like a deer caught in headlights.

	"What the fuck is going on?"  He asked in a barely audible voice.
"What do you two think you are doing?"  He was getting angrier by the
moment.  "Man, get the fuck off of him." He said to Nick.

	"Chill, dude!"  Nick said to him, pushing him away.  "Let us
explain"

	"Keni, man, I'm sorry."  I kept repeating.  I was at a lost for any
other word.  My biggest feat was the Keni would find out and go off.  It
was happening.

	"Explain what?"  He yelled.  "What can you fucking tell me to ease
what I'm feeling right now?  Here you are lying on my brother with you
fucking tongue down his throat and you're supposed to try and explain
that?.  Explain what?  He asked again.  "And you, Z.  You letting him do
it.  Are you a faggot now?"  He yelled.

	That comment hurt me more than anything he could have ever said to
me.  I suppose if he'd used 'gay', then it wouldn't have sounded so
derogatory.

	I was about to yell something back to him when Mouse, Mona and
Dennis appeared at the doorway. Apparently even over the music, they heard
Keni's yelling.

	Mouse, immediately sensing that he needed to intervene, turn to
Mona.  "Mona, will you go downstairs and keep things together for a few.  I
need to talk to the guys."  He was in complete charge.  He told Dennis to
go with her, but Keni stopped him.  "

	"No!  Let him stay.  He needs to know about this shit, too."  Keni
said.  When she left the room doorway, Dennis and I came inside and closed
the door.

	Nick immediately turned to Dennis.  "Go downstairs, man.  I'll be
down in a minute

	"Nah, man.  He needs to hear this."  Keni insisted, his anger
growing by the moment.

	"Keni, don't do this, man" I added.  I was feeling the tears
beginning to flow.

	"No, he doesn't need to hear this. It's not his business. Let my
bruh go back downstairs.  He's not a part of this."  Keni's anger was
growing along with Keni's.

	"Know what?"' Dennis asked, clearly not knowing what was going on.

	"Nothing, man."  Nick said.  "Just go back downstairs.  I'll be
down in a few.

	"No, bitch, tell him.  Tell him how I caught you and my brother on
his bed fucking.

	"You didn't catch us fucking.  Why you telling him that."  I said,
jumping off the bed.  I was standing face to face with him.  One would have
thought that I was looking directly into a full-length mirror.  We were
exactly alike, down to the braided hairstyle.  "Don't be making up shit,
fucker."  By now, I was ready to do battle with him.

	Mouse had moved to get in between us by now and Nick was standing
next to Dennis, gazing at Keni.  He looked completely sober.  "You guys
need to chill."  Mouse yelled at us both.  "Let just talk about this."

	"There is nothing to talk about.  My brother has a fucking
boyfriend now."  He said, looking at Nick and me. Fucking Faggots!"  He
spat.

	That was it.  I'd had about enough of him and his stupid bullshit
ass attitude because the next thing I know, I had punched him in the face.

	"Muthafu...."  He shouted and pushed Mouse aside and jumped on me.
We both fell back on my bed and began rolling around, punching each other.
Mouse grabbed Keni and Nick grabbed me, separating us from one another.

	"Look at you, look at you" he shouted.  "You fucking faggot.  Man,
how can you do this shit to me?"

	"To you?  What do you mean?  This ain't got nothing to do with you,
Keni."  I said.

	"It is about me.  We're twins, man.  We're practically the same
person and you letting some dude tongue yo' ass up on your bed."

	Before Nick or I could respond, Dennis turned to Nick.  "Is that
right, Nicky?  You and Zuri messing around with each other?  I couldn't
quite make out what Dennis was feeling, judging by his facial expression.

	"Hell yeah, that's what they were doing" Keni shouted and looked
accusingly at us both.

	"Keni, man.  Come on, calm down."  Mouse said. We can't get
anything settled this way when you outta control.

	"Don't nothing needs to be settled.  He made up his mind already.
He wants to swap spit with this guy here.  Don't you?  He looked at me.

	Ignoring his comment for the moment, Nick turned to face Dennis.
"D, can we talk about this later.  I promise to tell you everything, man."
You had to admire the love that he had for his little brother, much like
the love the Keni and I had.  I hope that inspite of it all, we still have
it.

	I took a deep breath and calmed myself.  I had to get myself calmed
down so that I could reason with Keni and his intoxicated state of mind,
which by now he seemed pretty much sober.  "Keni, I know you're upset now
and you don't know what's going on."  I started.

	"Damn right I'm upset."  He interrupted.

	"Please listen!"  I said, yelling at him.  Tears had begun to run
down my face.  I was becoming a mess all over again.  He stared at me with
a hateful scowl on his face.  His eyes had also misted up and he was on the
verge of crying.

	"No!  Why couldn't you come clean with me, Zuri?  I know something
was different with you two but I didn't expect to see what I saw a few
minutes ago.  How long is this been going?  It couldn't have been that
long.  You haven't known each other that long."  He said.

	Mouse, Dennis, and Nick stood there and watched us talk.

	"I wanted to tell you.  Honestly I did, man."  I said with a
pleading look on my face.  "I know all of our life we shared everything and
we were as close as two brothers could be, but I just couldn't tell you."

	"Why?"  He insisted.  "We use to talk about everything."

	"Cause I didn't wanna lose you.  You're my brother and I love you.
I thought that you'd hate me if I told you that I had a thing for another
guy."

	He looked at me for a few with tears rolling down his face.  "You
wouldn't have lost me, Zuri.  Fuck, man.  What kind of person do you think
I am?

	"Well, look how you acted a few minutes ago.  You flipped out, man"

	"Yeah, only because it caught me off guard.  You could have sat me
down and told me what was up.  You know you could have."

	We stared at each other in silence for a few minutes longer, and
then he turned around and left the room.  I heard him go into his room
across the hall and slam the door.  Mouse came up and hugged me.  "He'll be
alright.  You know Keni.  He'll come around.  You know that."  He offered.
He'd wrapped his arms around me as I lay on his chest and silently cried.
I felt like such a pansy bitch but I didn't care.

	Nick grabbed by the arm, pulling me away from him then hugging me
in plain view of his little brother.  For a moment while I hugged Nick and
faced Dennis, we stared at each other.  I could only imagine what was
running through his mind.  "My life was fucked, if this ever got out."  I
thought to myself.

	"Z, I'm gonna go downstairs and clear everyone out.  It's about one
in the morning and just about everyone's gone already anyway.  Nick, when
you're ready, man, we'll be downstairs waiting.  Come on, Dennis, Give them
a minute."  Mouse and Dennis left my room and closed the door behind them.

	"Nick, what are we gonna do now?  This is fucked.  Stace thinks I'm
gay and will probably spread it, Keni hates me, and Dennis probably hates
us now and what about mom and dad when they find out.  What am I gonna do?"

	"Z, this involves me, too, dude.  I have a lot to lose, too, but
you know what?  You're worth it 110%.  I want you just as much as I did
before.  We'll get through it together.  Dennis will be all right.  I know
my brother.  Keni'll come around and as far as your parents go, they don't
have to find out until you are ready, if ever, to tell them.  I wouldn't
worry too much about them.  They are smart, intelligent people.  They'll
understand, trust me."  He was so sure of himself.

	"What about your dad?  What will he think?"  I asked, feeling a
little better because of what he'd said.

	"He knows already."

	I looked at him in disbelief.  "How can he know?  Did you tell him"

	"Yeah, we talked about it.  Remember the first time you came over
and we did the nasty?

	"Yeah."

"Well, you remember when he came back while we were in the shower?

	"Yeah."

	"We'll he saw your clothes on the floor next to mine and know I was
in the shower.  He put two and two together.  When I came home that Sunday
from Mouse's place, he asked me about it.  He waiting until dinner time and
asked me about everything.

	"What did he say?"  I was really curious now.  I looked up into his
face while he told me everything.

	"At dinner, after I told him everything about us, from how we meet
to what happened at Mouse's place, he asked was I sure and if this was what
I wanted.  I told him that it was and how much I liked and cared for you."
Dad and I were always close and open with each other and talked about
everything. I couldn't believe I was telling him everything so openly and
freely.  I even told him about our intimate moments.  I think I when too
far telling him about that." He and I both laughed at that.  I was still
flabbergasted that he would tell him any at all about our sexing each
other.  I knew I could never tell my dad.

	"Was he pissed?"  I asked.

	"Nah, not at all.  In fact, he was rather cool about it, which
shocked the shit out of me.  He just told me to be careful and gave me the
usual fatherly advice.  He told me that he loved me and would be there to
support me in whatever I did with my life.  Between you and me, he also
admitted to getting a little head from this dude when he was younger.

	"No shit?"  I asked laughing and kinda forgetting about what had
just happened for the moment.  "Why didn't you tell me that he knew?"

	"Cause you were already stressing about your family knowing and I
didn't wanna add to your stress.  Pops was cool so I saw no reason to
burden you with the face that anyone knew.  I know I should've told you.
I'm sorry about that.

	We sat quietly for a few before we heard Mouse calling us from
downstairs.

	"I guess we need to get going. You're being summoned."  I said.

	"Yeah, I know.  You gonna be alright?"  He asked, looking at me and
wrapping those powerful arms around me, drawing me closer to him.

	"Yeah, I think so."  We both kissed a moment longer and then headed
back downstairs.

Everyone had gone and it was obvious that someone, Mona perhaps, had done
some cleaning.  The place was pretty much back in order with the exception
of that stale beer smell.  "I guess I need to open some windows."  I
thought.

	"Yo, Nick, we're about to bounce.  I gotta get Mona home before too
late.  You coming Nick?"

	"Yeah."  He answered.

Mouse and Mona left to get his and Mona's coat from the front hall closet.

	"Yeah, we need to get home, too.  I'll call when we get there."

 	"Yeah, you do that, but if I don't answer, don't worry about me.
I'm going to bed soon. Leave a message if you can't get me."  I added,
looking at Dennis who had been staring at me the entire time.  I just had
to say something to him.  "I know we freaked you out, man.  I hope you are
alright with all of this."

	"Nah, not too much.  I'm cool," He said.

	"You sure?"  Nick asked

	"Yeah, big bro.  No worries, man."

	"So what you found out don't bother you any?  I mean what's going
on between me and Z?"  He continued to ask.
	He appeared in deep thought for a moment, then said, "Um, no, not
really.  I'm cool with it if you are."  He smiled at his brother.

	"Thanks, D.  You have no idea how that made me feel."  Nick said,
patting his brother on the back.

	Mouse and Mona had come back by this time and we all hugged each
other and said our good-byes.  I finished cleaning up the kitchen some and
putting some other things away.  After the house was pretty much back
together, the way I knew it was suppose to be I went upstairs.  I stopped
by Keni's room and knocked on the door.  There was no answer and I called
him name.  Still no answer.  I turned the knob and looking in to find Keni
fast asleep under the covers.  He clothes had been shucked and he was
slightly snoring.  I wanted to talk with and be with him so badly.  I
missed the Keni I knew and loved.  Tears were swelling up and began to
crawl down my cheeks.  I was about to turn around and leave, then I
stopped.  I went further in the room and closed the door.  I took off my
clothes and crawled into bed with him.  I pulled the blanket up over me and
moved a little closer to Keni.  I just needed to feel him near me.  As I
stared at Keni's sleeping face, I thought about that had happened and what
tomorrow would bring, as far as my relationship with my brother goes.  I
felt sleep beginning to claim me.