Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2005 08:04:19 EST From: KhaymanRice@aol.com Subject: What's Happening To Me? Chapter 8b Disclaimer: This story is partially true and is loosely based on my life. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. If you are interested in reading a real love story and not just a graphic sex story, then this is the story for you. This is my first attempt at writing, so suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I will enjoy hearing from each of you and will answer all emails. Please let me know what you think of if you feel that I should continue. Note: To all of my faithful readers and fans. Thank you for the all of the kind emails that you sent me, encouraging me to continue writing. I'd especially like to thank my boy, Clayton, for all of the editing and my friend, Maddy, for the encouragement. By the way, check out her stories on Nifty (I hate Anthony and Around My Way). She is AWESOME! I love you, babygirl. By Khaymanrice Ending of Previous Chapter 8a "OK, Cool!" I said before ending the call. I fell back on my bed, thinking about how my life had changed in the last few weeks. As I lay back, I looked over onto my dresser and saw Nick's gift. A bright smile appeared on my face. Chapter 8b -- What's Happening To Me? Continued... I laid there a few minutes longer admiring Nick's gift, thinking about what it could possibly be before I finally got up from my bed and walked over and picked it up. It was wrapped neatly in an iridescent colored box with a little bow attached to it. Our other gifts were downstairs spread out on the dinning room table, but I had wanted to be alone when I opened Nick's (Call me sentimental). I had specifically put his gift on my dresser so that it was the first thing I saw when I woke up. Attached to the card, was a sealed note. I ripped the envelope open and took out the card. It read, `To someone special who has made a difference in my life. Thanks for being the one that I am destined to be with. Love you always and always, Nick.' Damn, I was lovin' it. I'd never had anyone send something or give me something that I held with such sentiment. A tear escaped my eye as I smiled and looked at the little box. An overwhelmingly sensational feeling coursed through my body as I began to unwrap it. I saw Nick's face in my mind as I unwrapped his gift. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I opened the box and I pulled out a gold rope chain. I lifted it up and stared at it. I'd never seen anything quite like it. I tried it on and it fit perfectly on my wrist. I clasped it and held it up in the sunlight, staring at it. My eyes welled up with tears again. . `How can my life get any better?' I thought. "Zuri." Keni yelled from downstairs, interrupting my moment. "You gonna eat or what, man? I'm hungry." I inhaled a deep breath and tried to pull it together. I hesitated a moment to steady my voice. "Yeah, I'll be right down." I yelled back. I cleaned up the wrappings and put the box and card in my nightstand and headed downstairs. "What took you so long? I'm hungry as hell." He asked when I walked into the kitchen. "Just opening Nick's gift." I answered, holding up my arm so that he could see the chain, dangling from my wrist, He looked at it and was obviously impressed. "Wow! He gave you that?" He asked, holding up my arm to get a better look at the chain. "Yep. It's nice, right?" "Yeah. It's tight. I guess what they say about your kind having good taste is true, huh?" I saw him snickering. I laughed after getting the joke. "Fuck you!" "No, save that for your boyfriend." He said, limp-wristed and talking really gay. "I hope you're joking, Keni. I mean I'm kinda glad I told you everything, but don't start making fun, OK?" I wasn't quite sure how to take what he was saying, so thought I'd be best make some rules before he even got started. "Yo, Z, chill! I's just joking. Lighten up." He had a serious expression on his face like he'd been hurt of something. "You know I wouldn't just dog you out like that." "OK. I just wanted to be sure. This thing is kinda new to me too you know, so I guess I get a little paranoid." "Ah, no worries, dude. I understand. I'll try to keep it to a minimum." "How bout not doing it all, you little shit." I laughed. "Little? You can little on this." He said, grabbing his dick and moving closer to me. "You know you want it." "Fuck you." I laughed, pushing him away, but for some reason, excited at the same time. Now that really freaked me. He pulled me out of the chair and we both landed on the kitchen floor. We wrestled with him landing on top of me. Exhausted from all of the horseplay, we were out of breath. He laid there for a moment. I began to really feel uncomfortable and told him flat out. "Keni, get off of me." I flatly said. For some reason, his being on me pissed me off. "Aw, come on. You know you like a man on top of you." He said laughing and I genuinely know now that he was playing, but it had crossed something in me and I wanted it to stop then and there. "Get the fuck off of me, Keni." I yelled and tried to buck him off. "What's wrong with you? You know I was just playing. We use to play around all the time, man." He said, getting off of me and looking at me like I'd lost my mind. "I know, I'm sorry for yelling, man. I don't know why I did. In light of all that has been going on with me, I just felt a little uncomfortable. You're my brother and I didn't wanna enjoy it with you. I know that doesn't make sense." "It's cool. It won't happen again." He said. He helped me off of the floor and we sat at the table. He put the food on the table and we sat there and talked for a while. It was like old times and we didn't discuss anything about Nick, Mouse, Calli, Stace or anything. We just talked in general like before. After breakfast and cleaning up, I told him that I was gonna go upstairs and shower. He said that he was gonna go meet Calli later on this afternoon. He gave me a little hug before I left and told me that he loved me. I replied the same. When I got to my room, I immediately noticed the little gift box that Nick had given me. I opened it again and looked at it. I knew I had to be wearing it when Nick showed up. I searched my closet for a change of clothes, found some nice cologne (Versace for men), got a change of underwear and laid everything out on my bed. I went to the bathroom, turned on the shower and hopped in. The water cascaded down my body and I just thought back to everything that had happened recently. For some reason, my mind stopped on Stace. What was going on with her? I honestly did like her as a person, but is she so damned persistent. I also thought about her comment about me wanting someone with a little more testosterone. What was that about? I wondered if she sensed that I liked Nick. I also wondered what our next meeting was gonna be like. Maybe I should call her later on. Next thing I knew Keni was shouting for me to hurry up. I didn't really know why. He could have easily used the guest bathroom or mom and dad's, but he wanted ours, I suppose. "Yeah, I'm almost through. Be out in a minute." I finished lathering up and rinsing off and got out of the shower. I unlocked the door and Keni walked in with a towel wrapped around him. He had just gotten out of the shower. "I used mom and dad's shower but I have to brush my teeth. He went to the sink, got his toothbrush and began brushing. I left and went to my room and toweled off. I lotioned up really good, put on a little `smell good', dressed, then stood back and admired my handywork (I wasn't a vain person at all. I just wanted to look and smell good for Nick). I went back to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, I rinsed my mouth out and went back to my room. I picked up the rope chain and put it around my neck. I admired it on the mirror. Right on cue, the doorbell rang at precisely 1:00. I heard Keni shout that he'd get it. I was wondering what the first reaction would be when Keni opened the door. I momentarily held my breath, and then exhaled when I heard him say "Wassup" and Nick replied the same. I finished putting on my clothes and headed downstairs. "Wassup!" I said to Nick when I walked into the den. He stood up, being the gentlemen that he was, when I walked through the door. I thought that was a cool gesture on his part, even though it was totally unnecessary. Keni was just standing there looking at me. I am not sure I was reading the expression on his face, but he was cordial, none-the-less. "Hey, man." He said. "Wassup with you?" He was looking me up and down. I had chosen a cool Sean John outfit to wear. I wanted to look my best when my best beau came a callin' on me. Hehehehe! "Nick, you want something to drink or anything?" Keni asked, trying to be the perfect host. I don't know what it was, but there was just something not quite right with the way Keni was acting. I mean, I know we talked this morning and I thought we'd have everything all straighten out, but he seemed a little strange to me. Maybe it was just me. Maybe it was nothing. "What you got?" He asked. "We got coke, OJ or basically anything you want." Keni replied. I had said nothing. "Coke will be OK." "Cool! Be right back." Keni walked out of the den, winking at me, and heading to the kitchen. I had to giggle at that gesture. I stood there and stared at Nick for a moment and he stared back at me without saying anything. He was looking so tight in his Velour jogging suit, Timberland boots and those damned steel blue eyes. He was quite possibly the hottest dude in the five boroughs. Suddenly, he smiled, cocked his head to the side and asked me, "Who do you love?" I had to smile at that. "You know I love you, man, but I can ask you the same." I said, looking into his eyes. "You know I love you, boy. Come here." He said, motioning for me to come closer. I walked over to him and he grabbed my face and planted a nice long, sensual kiss on my lips. I loved kissing this man. He repeatedly pecked me on my lips, nose, and forehead and all over my face. I was lost in his kisses until I heard Keni sorta clear his throat. I turned around and he stood there looking at Nick and me with a bottle of coke in his hand. His face was expressionless and for a moment there, I thought he was gonna go off, but he didn't. After staring at us a moment longer, he handed the coke to Nick. "What's wrong, K?" I asked him. I know my brother. I know he wanted to say something. "Nah, it's nothing. Just wasn't expecting that." He answered. We all went quiet for a moment, then Nick asked Keni what was up. "I'm OK, man. Z and I talked a while this morning about the situation and I kinda understand what's going on a little, but I'm still not comfortable enough with it to walk in and see some dude tonguing him down. "Yeah, I understand that. Sorry bout that, Keni. You wanna sit down and talk about it some. I don't mind talking." Nick said understandingly. Nick and I sat on the couch next to each other and Keni sat on the love seat across from us. Keni started talking first. He rambled at first about trivial things and then he zeroed in on us. "Okay Nick, let me say that I'm sorry about how I acted last night, man. I guess I was a little drunk and a little out of line, but you gotta understand how I felt when I walked in and saw you on top of him. I just sorta freaked." "I know, man' we..." Nick started to say, but Keni held up his hand and told Nick to hold up, to let him finish. "Z and I have always been close. We did everything together, been there for each other through thick and thin. He's my other half, man, and no one knows how much I love him. I would lay down my life for dude there and I hope that he'll do the same for me. In fact I know he would. I guess what I am trying to say and I want you to understand is that I want him to be happy. I can't say that I really fully understand what's happened or why, but he's says that he feels this thing for you and I guess I have to accept it. Thinking back, I think in my subconscious I kinda knew that this is what was up all along, but I didn't really wanna admit it. I can't explain why or how I knew, I just did. Maybe it's because we're twins and kinda know each other's feeling. Hell, I don't know. All morning long, I've been wondering about myself and my sexuality." "What???" I asked him, looking kinda puzzled. We both looked at him with baffled expressions on our faces. "No, I don't mean that I am gay or bi or having any feelings towards other guys. What I am saying is that we are twins, Z. We're mirror-imaged twins at that. We mirror each other exactly. We're basically the same person, so to speak. I feel like you feel. We act the same. We have a lot of the same mannerisms. We sound alike and all kinds of shit. What if I have these hidden desires that you have. No offense to you doing your thang, but I don't want it to happen to me. I don't think I can take it." Tears began to well up in his eyes. "Keni, I don't think it happens that way. Being gay is a state of being. It's who I am. It's becoming apparent it's who Zuri is but that doesn't mean it`s who you are." Said Nick. "Yeah, Keni. I think you are getting carried away over nothing, man. This is who I am and looking back, I guess it was always there in me. Sure I did the girl thing and I really like it a lot, but there were always subtle things inside that I can't explain. It's just now meeting Nick that they've come to the surface. I am coming to grips with who and what I am. "Yeah, but you don't act like you're gay." He said. "Keni, that was a stupid thing to say. Not that I am an authority on it, but all gay men are not like the guys you see on shows like Queer Eye. In reading a lot about it, there are lots of gay men who are just as manly acting as you. I am not saying there's something wrong with being a little effeminate, but not all gay men are like that. They are just regular acting guys like everyone else. I like being manly acting. This is who I am and there is no difference in me than any other guy I know with one exception. I just happen to be in love with another straight acting guy. Doesn't change anything about me, just who I prefer to hit it with." "Yeah, I know. My mind was just kinda wondering this morning while I was making breakfast. I don't mean that there is anything wrong with it. I was just saying." "Yeah, I know, but don't think too much about it. You are worrying over nothing. You da man, boy." I said smiling at him. "Yeah, you da man we all wanna be like." Nick added, laughing and elbowing me. Keni caught on to the joke and told us to go fuck ourselves. We got a good laugh out of that. "Just don't' mess him up or mess around on him, Nick. I'm trusting my bruh to you and I expect you to take good care of him." Keni said. "I'll do that." Nick answered, turning to look at me with a smile on his face. "You don't' have to worry about that. I'm just glad that you're cool with it. After last night, I wasn't sure what I was gonna do." I got up from the couch and walked over to Keni. I was a little teary-eyed but not sure if it was because of Keni's sentiments or Nick's. "Keni, thanks for understanding man, and you gotta know how much I love you, dude." I grabbed his head and pulled his face to mine. Our foreheads and noses touched. He whispered that he loved me too and quickly pecked me on the lips. I returned his peck. I got up and looked back at Nick. He was just staring at us. "Well, I guess I'll leave you two alone for a while. I think I'm gonna run over to Calli's house and see what's up with her. Maybe try and get me little sometin' sometin' for my birthday." He said, getting up from the loveseat. "I'll talk with you two later." "Hey, since when has Calli been putting out? I thought you said she was a virgin." I said to him. "She was." He said, winking at me. He turned to Nick. "Thanks for coming over, man, and letting me get this off my chest. You two may have problems if this ever gets out but you won't have any from me." With that, Keni left us alone. He headed upstairs and we sat back down on the couch. Keni left shortly after Nick arrived and said that he'd be back later on that evening. Nick and I were sitting in the living room, talking about nothing really in general. After Keni left, I noticed how Nick changed how he was talking with me. I was in the middle of telling him something when he stood up and looked at me. "I wanna fuck you so bad, man." His sweats began to rise when he said that. I looked at him with my mouth hanging open. "Well, that's a nice way to put it." I said laughing. "You saying you don't want to?" He said seductively. I could see the lust in his eyes. The more he looked at me with those crystal blues, the more I wanted him. Before I knew it, I had fallen to my knees in front of him, pulled his sweats down and impaled my face on his thick, Italian dick. "Damn, dude, you must have been fiening for my dick." He laughed surprisingly as he grabbed the back of my head and began to face fuck me slowly. "Oh yeah, Z. Damn, you so fucking hot, man. Come on, suck dat dick. Show how much you love it." I don't know what had come over me, but at that moment, I wanted to be his hoe. I wanted to be open and slutty for him. I couldn't believe what I was saying or doing. I felt like one of those cheesy porn stars I'd seen. "Ummmm!' I moaned. I was making loud and obnoxious sucking noises. "So, this is what gay sex is like?" Keni said, standing in the doorway and looking at the both us. Nick pushed me off of him, trying to pull up his pants and I fell over onto my ass, looking at up Nick then back at Keni. How in the fuck could I have been so stupid as to get caught up into blowing him right on my living room floor? "Keni, Fuck, man. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to see this." I stuttered. Nick was apparently still in shock. He stood there holding up his pants. He had gotten them up easily and they had no zippers nor buttons (sweats). "You know, Z. I know we talked about this new thing that you're into, but I gotta tell you. Hearing about it and then seeing you do it is quite two different things. I mean, I never expected to walk in and catch you sucking dude's dick like that. I actually never expected to catch you doing it at all. Fuck, man. Why couldn't go up stairs in your bedroom or some other place. Suppose I was mom or dad. What would you've done?" He kept his gaze on me, never even looking over at Nick. I felt like a child being scolded. I knew he was right. How the fuck did I get here. "I'm sorry, man. I know you're right." I said. We were all silent for a moment or two, but somehow it seemed like an eternity. Barely audible, I looked up at him and whispered. "Do you hate me, Keni?" I'm surprised he even heard me. I could barely hear it myself and I said it. "Nah, man. I don't hate you, but I gotta tell you. Seeing you slobbing on dudes dick like that is fucking with me pretty bad right now. I mean I was alright with it until I saw that shit." His gaze finally shifted over to Nick who was still standing there in shock. He hadn't uttered a sound. Their eyes locked. Looking at my brother again, what I saw surprised the shit out of me. Keni had a stiffy--and I don't mean a little bulge. He had that fully erect thang going on. He looked at me and it dawned on him what I was looking at. He looked down and saw that he was hard. Embarrassment washed over his face. Before anyone could say anything, Keni bolted from the house. I called after him and Nick, snapping out of his trance, began running behind me to chase after Keni. "Fuck! I'm so damn stupid." I yelled out. Looking back at Nick standing behind me with a sad look on his face, I pushed past him and headed back towards the door. "Nick, I think you should go home, man. I gotta think." Nick grabbed my hand just as I walked through the door. "Wait up, Zuri. Can we talk about what just happened?" He had that pleading look on his face. "Why, Nick? My brother hates me. I'm acting like a fucking piece of shit slut with you. I don't know what's happening to me." I teared up and the next think I knew, I was crying. I mean crying with the big crocodile tears. He moved further into the apartment and closed the door behind him, gathered me into his arms and hugged me.